Friday, November 11, 2005
Email Luke Archives Photos Stars Essays Search Luke Is Back.com Advertise on Lukeisback Adult Label RelishXXX Suze Randall Nov 8 Holly's Naked Ambition Pics Holly's Halloween Party 2005
Naked In A Muslim Porn Shop
ChaimAmalek: I saw YOU on the cover of a VHS tape once in NY. Not kidding.
ChaimAmalek: You were naked, it was you.
ChaimAmalek: On 8th Avenue, some muslim run porn shop. I was looking for
a copy of a Screw Mag parody.
ChaimAmalek: I swear, I am convinced it was you; it WAS you. Tell Holly
that and see what she says. I picked up the box. It was a VHS tape, about
a year back, you had this really goofy expression on your face and were
nude.
lukeisback: was I hard?
ChaimAmalek: I quickly set the box aside and picked up one with an attractive
woman on the cover to flush out the memory. I didn't look down there really.
HollyRandall: Yeah, wait a minute you've had sex on a distributed film!
You so have nothing on me.
hollyrandall: yeah but the other one you did
hollyrandall: with kendra jade-- is that her name?
Lukeisback: What Women Want with Mel Gibson and Kimberly Kummings.
HollyRandall: i just found out that one of my model's real name is Chastity
Lukeisback: I go crazy when I look in your eyes.
HollyRandall: oh stop
Lukeisback: oh baby, I go crazy.
HollyRandall: stop it you goofball
Lukeisback: I know how much that means to you.
Lukeisback: I realize that I was blind.
HollyRandall: will you stop speaking in bad song lyrics?
Lukeisback: this is the flip side of my cynicism.
Lukeisback: I tried to tell you how much i cared, but I had to write it
in a song.
HollyRandall: no it's another way to say something without actually having
to reveal anything
Lukeisback: That's the way I've always heard it should be.
Lukeisback: But you say it's time we moved in together and raised a family
of our own, you and me.
HollyRandall: what???? you know i said nothing of the sort
HollyRandall: exactly the opposite
Lukeisback: That's the way I've always heard it should be. My friends
from college, they're all married now.
HollyRandall: yeah so are mine, well most of them, actually a bunch of
my exes just got married or are engaged now
HollyRandall: funny thing, i wasn't invited to any of the weddings!
Lukeisback: Never gone give you up
Lukeisback: lay your hands on me
hollyrandall: i give up, i can't have a conversation with you!
Lukeisback: I'm eating a dinner of peas and reading NYbooks.com
Lukeisback: Could've Been by Tiffany in the background.
KevinM00re: i think your more confused about girls then any guy i know
Rejected Again
Rob Spallone calls me back Thursday afternoon. "You troublemaking [bad word]. You think you're cute? You put the story up again."
Luke: "Just a teeny little link."
Rob: "You're unbelievable. You're not going to the show this year."
Luke: "I am going."
Rob: "I don't think you should."
Luke: "I'll be there with bells on. I'm sticking next to you. You're going to protect me."
Rob: "You're not coming near me. I can't protect you. It's out of my hands. I gave you an opportunity. You didn't take it."
Luke: "Who decided that?"
Rob: "People.
"Wicked liked my script."
Luke: "You wrote a script?"
Rob: "A big one. Somebody typed it out."
Luke: "You came up with a story?"
Rob: "Who do you think came up with all The Sopornos?"
Luke: "JimmyD."
Rob: "Yeah, right."
Luke: "I heard you had an ex-porn star girlfriend for a year?"
Rob: "I have a new one."
Luke: "Do you have inner peace?"
Rob: "I'll never have peace as long as I'm connected to you. If I ask you not to write something, I don't know why you've got to keep writing it. And then you put up there: 'Rob told me not to write it, but f--- Rob.'"
Luke: "I didn't put it like that."
Rob: "That's exactly what it is."
Luke: "Oh pal."
Rob: "I want to get to the owner of your site. I want to have a meeting with him. Could you arrange that?"
Luke: "No. How's your brother Roy?"
Rob: "I just spoke to him today. He's in Costa Rica. He loves it down there. He can get two blowjobs and two massages for $14. How can you not like it?"
Luke: "When you shooting next?"
Rob: "Tomorrow."
Luke: "Where?"
Rob: "I can't tell you. You know that. You're on the out-list."
Luke: "I'm out of the family?"
Rob: "I'm getting a new writer."
On Age Differences and Sources of Moral Wisdom
In recent days I've found myself fielding questions from admiring younger women (and far less complimentary sorts of questions from women of a certain age) concerning what is and is not an appropriate age difference between men and women. Perhaps this is part of the Zeitgeist of our uncertain times, or perhaps it arises out of the "May Day - Labor Day" relationship I find myself in. Rather than answer such a question in personal terms, where the base instincts of man often predominate, I shall turn to other sources of moral authority, both great and small.
To begin with, there is The Word - God's Word to Man, the Torah. For every true Jew and Noahide Gentile, this is the ultimate arbiter of what is good and correct. The Torah clearly commands Jewish men (which includes me) to be fruitful and multiply, an act that requires of Jewish men the willing cooperation of fecund women. Alas, it is a medical fact that the most fertile women are the young ones, so I am compelled to look past the wisdom and many virtues of my female peers (most of whom are really wonderful, amazing women who are too good for the likes of me anyway), and instead force myself to make do with the younger more fertile women of the "do me NOW!" generation.
In years past, this would have been a recipe for social disaster, as men of my years and low social status are infamous for our inability to properly satisfy the younger woman. But thanks to modern pharmacology, most of the deficiencies of advancing years can be corrected. Levitra keeps my erections hard, Rogaine keeps my mane of hair full, and Zoloft keeps my mood steady. And I'm working at whipping my sperm into shape, too, so that should they be fortunate enough to happen upon a fertile woman's egg, they will get right down to business and do me a mitzvah: zinc and folic acid dietary supplements instead of booze, and boxers instead of briefs. For men, 39 truly is the new 24.
I well realize that many of you are Godless, rootless, secular atheists who care not a whit for the Oral or the Written Laws of God. To you I look to the wisdom of the French, who teach that a man ought marry a woman who is half his age, plus seven years. For a man of thirty nine (like me), this means that I need a woman of 27, depending on how one rounds.
And for those of you who hate both God AND the French, I turn to that New York sage, Chaim Amalek: "Dude, you are so lucky."
When Torah, the French, and Chaim Amalek are all in agreement on a course of action, one can be certain of the correctness of that course of action. 'nuff said.
Hustler Fashionistas
The Hustler Tattler writes:
The Hustler Tattler hears that Hustler Editorial Director Bruce David has reportedly grown a goatee. Apparently Daddy-O is trying to relive his Dobie Gillis days when he was part of the "beat scene."
We think the goatee is a nice accessory to go with the horns on his head, giving Bruce the complete Satan-look to match his soul, or lack of.
And yes ladies, it's true, Bruce cuts his own hair! (squeal!)
In more fashion sense, Research Director/Assistant Managing Editor Mark Johnson defers to the traditional tie, white shirt, and gray pants (to match his hair). The lanky fellow is convinced this cool look will grab the ladies, but it failed with Alaina Fiorante and Carolyn S-nclair. Tip to Mark: Try the post-menopausal crowd, i.e., Lyn Heller.
Departing Hustler Features Editor Carolyn S-nclair gets the "Makeover of the Year" award. She shed her cherished bohemian-look for cut-throat corporate threads. It wasn't that long ago when Sinclair used to harshly disparage those who dressed professionally as being "plugged into the Matrix." Pot meet kettle.
And by popular demand, here is another memory of Carolyn S-nclair.
This one comes from a source who recalls a delightful moment from a year ago. "I was walking with Carolyn S-nclair down Los Feliz Blvd. Carolyn was telling me how much she liked Hustler Editorial Director Bruce David. who had recently fired the entire editorial staff, fired Mark Cromer, and then hired her. Carolyn and I had eaten at Palermo's Pizza and she had two left-over pieces of pizza in a box. We walked past a homeless woman sitting in a doorway. She was skinny and obviously underfed. The homeless woman asked for some food and Sinclair snapped at her, "This is OUR dinner!" I was mortified. After I walked Carolyn to her friend Tony Seybert's apartment where she was staying, I returned and bought the homeless woman a full hot pizza, drink, and gave her some money. The irony is Carolyn called me up that night and started lecturing me on how wonderful Buddhism was and how being a Buddhist had made her a 'more compassionate person.' It was surreal."
Seminal Blogger Booted Again, Left In Internet Diaspora
When the call to withdraw came Wednesday morning, I said softly, "Sure. No problem."
I knelt and placed my head on the chopping block. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do," I whispered.
In the background, I heard the baying from commenters to LGF: "May his blood be upon us and upon our children."
Then all was oblivion.
This is an outrage! Stupid, earnest, humourless Americans. What they can't take a joke?
On the other hand, seeing your profile right next to Claudia Rossett's was a bit of a shocker.
> Between Claudia and me, who do you think is the > greater thinker?
Well, in terms of raw, natural intelligence (as measured by IQ) it would be you, of course. But when it comes to actual accomplishment, especially in essay form, I would have to go with Ms Rossett. I assume she spends less time at porn star karokee than you do.
Fraudulent Letter Slams Maverick Entertainment
LOS ANGELES – A letter pretending to originate from the Los Angeles City Attorney's office has been circulating among a group of adult film distributors claiming that content generated from Maverick Entertainment Corp. used underage performers, or in the words of the letter, “Minor-aged children.”
Seymore Butts Interview
Adam Glasser calls me back Thursday morning.
"I just saw that item about you and Mari Possa," I said.
Adam: "I've seen a couple of items about you that I wanted to talk about. What's going on with you and Holly?"
Luke: "We're going out."
Adam: "Congratulations. Internally, are you being pulled in different directions?"
Luke: "Sure. She's not Jewish."
Adam: "She's not Jewish. She's a pornographer."
Luke: "I ask her how she shoots split-beaver. It's amusing to me."
Adam: "Amusing. So, in other words, you're just having fun?"
Luke: "At this point, we're having fun."
Adam: "Do you think there's a possibility of being serious with her?"
Luke: "Yeah."
Adam: "Considering she's the first woman who's given you the time of day in quite some time.
"Do you think there's a quasi-Oedipus thing going on here? Wasn't she raised by British speaking parents?"
Her mom's English and her dad (Humphry Knipe) is South African.
Luke: "I'm Australian."
Adam: "The accent is similar."
Luke: "She likes older men and broke writers. I fit all three categories. I'm 12-years older. Her father was a broke writer when he met Suze, and she became a pornographer to support his writing."
Adam: "So she's almost reliving her mother's path?"
Luke: "Yeah. I've just finished reading her father's novel, The Nero Prediction."
Adam: "Keep her off of the horses."
Luke: "I'm preparing to meet the parents."
Adam: "Suze is not the quiet shy type."
Luke: "I've met her a few times. She's feisty.
"Holly's sweet. I met her at the Nightmoves Awards. I asked her to come swimming afterwards. She said she didn't have a bathing suit. I offered to lend her my tight-whiteys and a t-shirt."
Adam: "That's very erotic."
Luke: "It was. It was cool that she'd be so adventurous."
Adam: "I'm sure that ten minutes later when Ron Jeremy was screwing some crackhead in the hotel lobby, he was thinking about your girl in those tighty-whiteys all-wet."
Luke: "I really liked it that Ron would be thinking about my girl.
"She says she's never been with talent."
Adam: "Just seeing her in the pool. It's almost as good as seeing her all over the internet. Those images are now stored in those men's heads forever and can be called upon and even shared. There might be a guy like Sean Michaels, who right now is buried in some little Latina's ass, all eleven inches of him, and to stay hard he's thinking about your girl."
I laugh.
Adam: "How does that make you feel? Does that make you proud?"
Luke: "I think it's funny. It doesn't bother me.
"Why did you do the talent agency?"
Adam: "Getting licensed and bonded is not a one-day process. We wanted to do it right from the get-go. That we're licensed and bonded gives girls the option of getting paid quicker than most girls and guys in the industry get paid. We can advance the money.
"My reasons for doing this are connected to my experiences with girls. Most of them lack health insurance. All they're thinking is that they're earning a lot of money, things are great, and they're going to worry about the lack of money when it happens.
"One day they're going to wake up and realize their career is over, their ass is blown out after six months in the business, and they don't have anything to show for their hard work. That's not right. I don't think the girls in this industry want to not have health insurance and not have a financial plan. It's that those things are complicated.
"I'm lucky. I don't deal with it. I don't see the health insurance guy. I don't know nothing. I can hire somebody to do that for me.
"I can imagine for a young girl [to get health insurance], the paperwork, the verbiage, the options, the decisions... That's overwhelming. They avoid it. They're thinking, 'I can pay a doctor in cash. No big deal.' They're not thinking about a catastrophic injury or illness."
Luke: "How long were you planning this before you went public?"
Adam: "For at least six months. I've been thinking about it for two years.
"I've never had a problem finding new talent. I have new talent writing me all the time. The problem was, if I was to break this girl into my movies, then where can I direct her? Who can I trust with her? That's a big reason why I didn't introduce all the girls into the business that I could've. Most of them were looking at it as a career... I shoot only ten movies a year. Then where do I send her?"
Luke: "Max Hardcore."
Adam: "There you go. I send her over to Jim South and he tells her he's got a nice gentleman in a cowboy hat who wants to meet her."
Luke: "This will work well for the TV show."
Adam: "This has nothing to do with the TV show. It's certainly going to be an episode of interest. I just watched a rough-cut yesterday of the episode where Ava Vincent and Dylan Laurent get into cat fight on Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party set. Hilarious. They intermixed it with my son's first boxing match.
"We're going to be giving free fitness training to our talent. We want to make sure that they stop in tip-top shape. We're giving them free nutritional guidance. We're investing time, energy and sometimes money in our performers."
Luke: "Who's this guy Steve Rosen [who's running the talent agency]?"
Adam: "He's an old and dear friend. He's a behind-the-scenes business guy who saw the same opportunity I did."
Luke: "Are your talent going to be exclusive?"
Adam: "We'd hope that they are generally going to be exclusive."
Luke: "Will you be drug-testing them?"
Adam: "No. In addition to the AIM program, we're going to have somebody a phone call away to lend support to anybody who might be having a problem.
"A lot of girls walk on my sets and don't know what they're going to be doing and who they're going to be working with. I think everybody walking on to a set needs to know exactly what they're going to be doing and who they're going to be doing it with.
"A lot of the girls tell me about how they get yelled at by agents and threatened with being fired by agents. That's interesting. Talent is not under the employment of agents. Agents work for talent. The only person who should be doing any firing is talent."
Luke: "Are you guys going to also be booking girls for bachelor parties and escorting?"
Adam: "Escorting? No. That's cute. You just throw that in. Who do you think you're dealing with here? If I was opening up an escorting service, you'd be one of the first persons I called because I know you would be one of our top clients.
"Bachelor parties. We have a whole separate organization at MyPartyNow.com. You don't know about that? Where you been? Holly has really gotten you..."
Luke: "I've been loving, not working."
Adam: "Everything is about vertical integration. Everything is about feeding one another. The girls at my talent agency are going to benefit from MyPartyNow.com. The girls at MyPartyNow.com are going to benefit from my talent agency. The fans are going to benefit from MyPartyNow.com and they're going to be able to make money with us with late-at-night home parties."
Luke: "What are you going to tell the girls who join your agency about escorting?"
Adam: "I don't see any connection. When girls walk on to my set, I don't talk to them about escorting. I think that's a personal decision.
"What happens if Dennis Hof calls up and says, 'We want to have some of your girls down to the Bunny Ranch.' That's legal. It's up to the girl. Each individual girl's career would have to be analyzed."
Luke: "Do you think escorting devalues a porn star?"
Adam: "There are fewer big porn stars than there have ever been. Do you know many of those names who haven't been on some escorting site or linked to escorting? Has it hurt their careers? They're still the big porn stars."
Luke: "Are you available for escorting?"
Adam: "Are you interested?"
Luke: "No."
Adam: "Are you asking for my rates?"
Luke: "Yeah."
Adam: "No, I have never escorted. Men have come up to me and said, 'Can you make my wife squirt?' I can think of two occasions in my life when I've taken someone up on that but that wasn't for money. That was just out of the goodness of my heart. I remember one occasion when the wife did repay me with a blowjob and the husband was fine with it."
Luke: "Will we continue to see Mari Possa on your TV show and working for you?"
Adam: "Mari has just finished up being featured in almost every episode of season four. Whether or not there's a season five, nobody knows but the executives at Showtime. If there's a season five, I expect she'll pop up here and there.
"Unlike some of my previous dramas with women, this one's not so exciting. No restraining order. No custody battles."
Luke: "Are you looking to date porn stars or civilians?"
Adam: "I have no clue. I haven't X'd out any particular categories of people. It's about the individual, not a label like porn star. I can find plenty of civilians who are just as nutso as some of the porn stars."
Luke: "If the woman was really hot, would you go to church with her?"
Adam: "Do you know how many hot women I've been with? I've been with a lot. A relationship like that is not going to work anyway. If a woman needs me to go to church with her, that means she needs me to change. That's not right."
Luke: "Are you looking to date someone Jewish?"
Adam: "I'm scared that if I actually brought home a Jewish girl, it'd send my mom over the edge. It could be so shocking it could be medically dangerous. For me, it's all about the individual. I feel like I'm on Dr. Phil. If I met the right woman, we could have a lot of fun being a high-profile couple.
"I might be doing something called 'How To Eat Pussy Like A Champ.' I'd like you to be on set for that."
Luke: "Thank you."
hollyrandall: but aren't you at the age where you're looking for something
that might eventually point to marriage-- so that in essence, you're kinda
wasting your time with me
hollyrandall: i'm not looking for anything even close to marriage right
now, so as long as we're on the same page...
hollyrandall: it's just that you don't really talk to me, and all i see
is all this crap all over the internet, and i don't know what the hell
to think, and i've got people calling me and emailing me and asking me
what's going on and i don't know what to tell them!
Lukeisback: Look, you seem to like being in charge, so you can be in charge
of this relationship, and when you want me to come over, I will. When
you want to drive somewhere, we will. ...
hollyrandall: so hey if i'm in charge can i drag you to my favorite sushi
restaurant? i know you hate asian food, but this place is amazing.
A wise sage writes: "Clever is the mind of the shiksa, as she seeks
to corrupt the innocent Jewish man."
SEYMORE BUTT'S - Lighthouse Talent Agency A safe harbor in the stormy seas of the adult industry
(SHERMAN OAKS, CA) Seymore Butt's has announced the opening of the “Lighthouse Talent Agency” a new concept in adult performer representation.
“I have partnered with Steve Rosen to create an atmosphere that is completely tailored to the specific needs of our models as well as the producers and directors we will be working with.”
When asked about this new concept, Butt's explained; “First of all, we are giving our models an option of receiving payment within 72 business hours of completing a job. Next we have assembled an advisory council that includes a financial planner, Certified Public Accountant, and health insurance specialist to provide guidance and expertise to our models. We also have been able to negotiate personal grooming discounts for our models and will also be offering free personal training sessions as well. For those booking our models, they will appreciate a constant variety of fresh faces, as well as, knowing we have taken extra steps to verify the age of our performers. We have identified a void of services in this particular sector of the industry and it is our intention to fill these voids. Most importantly we will never allow ourselves to forget that we work for the performers and not vice versa!”
Lighthouse Talent Agency is currently interviewing potential models and will be announcing the launch of the company's website in the near future. Performers seeking representation should contact Steve Rosen, 818 907-9752 or Steve@LighthouseTalentAgency.com
Lighthouse Talent Agency is a licensed and bonded agency and is located at 4622 Van Nuys Blvd. (upstairs) Sherman Oaks, CA 91403 next door to AIM Health Care.
While walking home from an intercultural/transfaith town meeting at the Museum of Tolerance (which is to me what Zabars white fish wrapped in the New York Times is to an Upper West Sider), I had a fascinating discussion with two new friends, "Hillel" and "Shamai." It concerns the ageless question of how much we should have in common with someone before considering them as possible future mates. Hillel took the liberal position that diversity is what makes the world go 'round, and that you don't want to marry someone just like yourself or you will bore yourself to death. Shamai - a harder nosed sort - advanced the opposite school of thought. "In most successful marriages, like marries like. Same religious tradition, same social class, same race, same values. This avoids problems."
I'm not sure where I stand on this, as I can think of all sorts of examples and counterexamples for each school of thought. Perhaps in the end, that Eastern Sage Chaim Amalek is right (for Chaim is usually right): "The heart wants what the heart desires. Love is about sex, and sex is about mixing genes up. Not just 'up' in the sense of 'different', but also 'up' in the sense of 'better' as well. That's why so many Jewish men of distinction from Moses to Spielberg have fallen in love with gentile women."
Hillel versus Shamai - who can say who is right?
For Lauren Winner and Anna Broadway, married sex is the only sex
Lauren Winner (laurenwinner.net) is an unlikely poster girl for abstinence before marriage. Forget images of nuns, scolds, and dowdy politicians. She wears cat's-eye glasses, sparkly tights, and a charming smile. As we chat, our camaraderie is surprising; after all, her book Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity argues that the only good, honest, and moral sex is between a man and woman married to each other. Somehow, despite our differences, I'm at ease with Winner and can listen openly.
When I start to say "But I'm a feminist," she interrupts me: "I'm a feminist too." For her, sex within marriage is sacred, but she also takes the church to task for its sexist teachings and simplistic abstinence campaigns. Winner writes, "In insisting that premarital sex will make you feel bad, the church is misstating the nature of sin. The plain, sad fact is that we do not always feel bad after we do something wrong. To acknowledge that premarital sex might feel good is not to say that premarital sex is good." Other lies Winner blasts the church about: Women lack libido, bodies are gross and disgusting. "Just say no" doesn't work, for sex or drugs, unless you're giving people a better alternative.
Samantha Sterlyng Returns
Its been quite a few months since I have even stepped foot on TER but thought that I would stop by and say "Hello"!!! I will be graduating at the end of November with my Nursing Assistant License and then continue on my way to be the RN that I so desire to be. It has been quite a journey for me but I have a lot of people to thank for it... ;-) With my new job comes every other weekend off and I have contemplated..possibly...taking a trip to my favorite city in Philly. I lost contact with all of my favorite clients when I shut down my email address. I have a new email: issamback@myactv.net and if you would like to drop me a line that would be wonderful. I had a few "regular" friends that I saw often but have since lost contact with and I would like to make the offer for those friends to please drop me an email with your contact info so that we can set up a get together for old times sake. I did take off all of my reviews from TER for privacy reasons so if you need any info on me please dont hesitate to ask ;-) I do hope to hear from you soon and its been great to be able to stop back by and say HI!
Sam's story is a triumph of the human spirit.
Mariah Carey With Homeless Man Outside Koi In Beverly Hills
The Struggle For Luke's Soul
Doesn't this pic just say it all?
I heard Holly recently keyed "Stay away from my man, whore!" into Joanna's car. Obviously this pic was taken before that childish act. It really is a shame their friendship was blown asunder by Luke's sexual power.
Stephen Cohen's Court Date
Gary Kremen writes: "The Court called to let me know that Steve is set to appear before Judge Ware on November 14, 2005 at 1:30 PM."
Nasty Boyz! who are these dips---s? they want to be the blues brothers? well, how about dressing the same outfits, same hats, same glasses. pinstripe suits and tuxes don’t match. get a f---ing clue, you guys sucks just like everyone else at pornstar karaoke. more like we want to be porn stars but we are just b and c list people who f--- on camera and think they matter. ha!
Pamela Peaks Escort Services
I wanted to share this link with you guys in case none of you have seen this part of Pamela Peaks website. Her site really amuses me. She has a link on her site which gives full detailed information of what she's available for as far as escorting goes. Not only that but has a long page of photos both women and men who are available for full services with Pamela. Most of the girls on here are old, rejects of porn, let themselves go or are just into the hustlin' world. Some girls actually I was surprised even escort.
The best thing about this link is if you scroll all the way down where all the guys pictures are, you'll see that Dave Pounder is available for full escorting services!
John Gray from Adult Quest Magazine writes: "The escort site of Pamela Peaks is a joke she owes me money for mads she ran in my magazines a s does the worn out Tasha Adams whos says she cahrges 1000.00 for full service, hell she should be paying any guy to do her not the other way around!"
Dave Pounder replies: "Hey Luke, no I am not really doing anything at all while I am in school, aside from consulting and executive producing. I was on so many different sites for performing, escorting, etc. that it would be too time consuming to track them all down."
Messing With Wankus
A few months ago, I wrote: "The lyrics become so obscene, I can't quote them in good conscience. And to hear such things coming out of the pure virginal mouth of Kristen, someone who is only sweetness and light, and to see and hear her dragged down by that brute Wankus, isn't Tyler Faith enough for him?"
Today Wankus writes me: "This implies I dragged Tyler down. Not sure I appreciate the tone there big daddy. Last time I checked, Kristen asked to be the CoHo at PSK and enjoys our dirty lyrical moments together. How did I become a brute? Loud mouthed asshole. I can accept that."
Wankus replies to a negative review of an apartment complex next to Porn Star Karaoke:
Sounds like a bitter patron who got kicked out when he acted disrespectfully to one of the lovely ladies who attend this event. There's no PORN being shot in your neighborhood. There's no nakedness, sexual acts or any crimes being committed in Sardos or in the parking lot. Occasionally someone gets out of control, like at ANY drinking establishment and that person is asked to leave. Most of the time BTW, it's the locals, not the porn stars. Get over yourself. There is a bar in your community. It's busy! That brings money to the businesses in your area which in turn brings value to the area. The more money spent on businesses in your area means the more your community grows. Calm down. See things for what they really are and stop being so dramatic. In the two and half years I've been going to PSK, I've seen puke in the parking lot ONCE and two fist fights. Pretty good stats for 129 consistant weeks of Porn Stars in your area.
What Went Wrong Cindy?
As a Jill Kelly Productions contract star, [Cindy] Crawford probably had her most respectable public persona and had the company stayed in business, she may have been able to keep a higher profile and showed a little more class even though at one point with the company, while visiting New York, she was rumored to have been locked up at Belleview mental hospital for erratic behavior.
Unfortunately, since leaving JKP, Cindy has been shooting movies like "Filthy f---ing F--- Pigs", arriving on sets late, strung out and in some cases passed out and unable to be woken to shoot. Her desire to quit drinking after an admitted embarrassing night in Vegas where she ran around the grounds of a well known hotel screaming and naked obviously haven't come through for her and she really appears to be just an overall mess.
Porn Star Karaoke At Sardo's Bar
Kayla Kupcakes Donny Long, Kayla Kupcakes Donny, Kayla Donny, Kayla Donny, Kayla Donny, Kayla Seymour, Kayla Seymour, Kayla Seymour, Kayla Seymour, Konnie Le Konnie Seymour, Konnie Seymour, Kayla Seymour, Kayla Seymour, Kayla Ethan Cage, Lexi Lamour, Tommy Gunn Rita Faltayano, Victoria Ele Rita, Victoria Ele Rita, Victoria Ele Rita, Victoria Ele Victoria Ele Kristen, Wankus Sophie Dee Sophie Dee Sophie Sophie Sophie Sophie Sahara Knite, Veronica Lynn Sahara, Veronica civilian civilian Jeremy Steele Jeremy Steele Barbara Summer Barbara Summer Barbara Barbara Barbara, Veronica Barbara, Veronica Barbara, Veronica Barbara, Veronica Barbara, guy, Veronica Rusty Nails, Ryan Knox Sahara Knite Sahara Sahara Barbara, Sahara Barbara, Sahara Barbara, Sahara Barbara, Sahara Fozzie, Barbara, Sahara Barbara, Sahara Barbara, Sahara Jeremy, Barbara Jeremy, Barbara Jeremy, Barbara Veronica, Christian Veronica, Christian Veronica, Christian Mari Possa Mari Possa Mari Possa Mari Possa Mari Possa Sahara, Christian Barbara, Nasty Boyz Barbara, Nasty Boyz Barbara, Nasty Boyz Barbara, Nasty Boyz Barbara, Nasty Boyz Rusty Nails, Tara Texas Presley Annika, Texas Presley Texas Annika, Texas Lexi Bardot, Texas Lexi, Texas, Annika Lexi, Texas, Annika Lexi, Texas, Annika Lexi, Texas, Annika girls girls Texas Nasty Boyz, girl girl, Nasty Boyz civilian Kayla Kayla Kayla Sahara, Christian Summer Haze, Nasty Boy Lexi Bardot civilians civilians Asian, Roy Karch Asian Mika Tan Mika Tan Victoria Pratt Victoria Pratt guy, Victoria Pratt guy, Victoria Pratt guy, Victoria Pratt Mika Tan Erik Everhard McKenzie Lee McKenzie Lee Mika Tan Mika Tan Ron Jeremy, Summer Haze, Nasty Boyz Ron Jeremy, Summer Haze, Nasty Boyz
I walk up at 9:15pm and run into an intoxicated Kayla Kupcakes. She enjoyed my pictures of her last week with Ron Jeremy and Richard Dreyfuss. She's high from her first week of boy-girl scenes. Oh what a feeling, when you're dancing on the ceiling.
"I did my first movie for Score in Miami three months ago. I'm from Florida. I came out here and I've been shooting for a week. I did Hustler, Big Top... My kitty's sore. Poor kitty. Do you want to lick it?"
I demur.
Nodding at her chest, I ask: "Are these natural?"
Kayla: "Are you kidding me? I was a 34C. Now they're a 40DD."
Luke: "How long have you been a nude model?"
Kayla: "Since I was 19."
Luke: "Three years."
Kayla: "Right. Thirteen years now."
Luke: "What made you want to get into hardcore pornography and do guys?"
Kayla: "I don't know."
Luke: "The money."
Kayla: "That's it. It's all about the money."
Luke: "How was your conversation with Richard Dreyfuss?"
Kayla: "Short but sweet. I asked him if he liked porn. I said I'd send him one of my porn movies when it comes out. I bought his wife [tall blonde English] a shot.
"Tonight Ron's bringing a new actor."
Luke: "Have you had sex with men before?"
Kayla: "Of course. With [Dallas] Cowboys, [Miami] Dolphins [Damon Huard]. I've been around the world.
"Damon was the best. He was really good for sex. He massaged me. He was a sweet guy. I met him at Diamond Dolls in Pompano. I was dancing. He came up to me and said, 'That's good baby-making material.'
"I danced for him and his other football friend. Then they came to my condo."
Luke: "And the rest is history.
"Why did you become a nude model and dancer?"
Kayla: "Money."
Kupcakes says she hung out with the "in-crowd" in highschool. She lost her virginity at age 18 to her first love, the man she'd marry for ten years. She was also married for eight years.
Luke: "What's it like having a relationship while you're working as a nude model and dancer?"
Kayla: "It's tough. My second husband came on the road with me and it was not easy."
Luke: "Are you married now?"
Kayla: "No. I'm looking for a rich old man."
Veronica Lynn dumped Kevin Moore about three months ago. "It wasn't working out," she says. "We just had very [big] differences. We didn't collide well after a while."
Kevin didn't even get to meet her parents.
"My mom is awesome now," says Veronica. "She's warmed up to the situation."
Kevin Moore responds: "I don't recall ever being in a relationship."
Kelsey Michaels seems to have had a different reason each week (has to go to prison, her dad's land is being seized) for not returning to LA. World Modeling wants to get rid of her stuff out of their rental house if she's not coming back soon. Kelsey says she's stripping in five different clubs but doesn't have $100 to her name.
Sahara says something about Joey Ray being as high as a kite. When I repeat the comment into my tape recorder, she says Barbara Summers said it.
Barbara says Joey Ray called her at 5am.
Tara Akinlose has bought her dress for the AVN awards in Las Vegas in January. "It's pink with porno strappy shoes and porno jewelry, rhinestones. I'll look so porned out."
Jay writes Luke:
I really appreciate the effort that goes into your web site but you're pictures are killing me! May I suggest: - (As a minimum):
* Changing to center weighted metering instead of matrix metering.
* Not using auto white balance indoors. Try using the presets for incandescent or flash lighting. Auto white balance is great for outdoor lighting but not so good inside.
Just trying to be constructive.
Holly Randall Reveals Her Shame
Is it just me, or can you too see both her nipples?
Holly, have you no shame?
She replies: "Don't talk to ME about having no shame, Mr. I'm_going_to_tell_the_world_about_my_sexual_issues. And you can't see them, but you are right, my one of my cups is falling down a bit...goes to show where you were looking!"
What Tom Cruise Can Teach Us About Relationships
Remember that famous interview the little fellow gave on Oprah - the one where he loudly declared his love for the lovely Katie Holmes (who, curiously, is about 27 years old), jumping up and down on her sofa like a small monkey on uppers? Well, when a straight man is genuinely interested in a woman, he keeps things quiet for fear of attracting poachers. So ladies, what Tom Cruise can teach you about your man is this: if he's really serious about you, he will keep things quiet. A virtuous woman has a price far above rubies, and hetero men don't like flashing rubies in public.
Holly Randall On Women's Sexual Liberation
This hardly seems like the demure girl I've gotten to know over the past few weeks. I was quite taken aback when I read her thoughts:
I had a big arguement with a friend about this subject, and I'd like to post my opinion. Do we still believe that women are supposed to act demure and play "hard to get"? If I want to f--- on the first date, does that make me a slut? Yet the guy would still be a stud, right? Why do we still fall for this bulls---? If we as women are supposed to really believe that we are equal to men, then why do we accept this double standard? I think that if you buy into this mentality then you are accepting this pathetic patriarchal rule that has plauged women for so long. Perhaps because I work in the porn industry, perhaps because my parents were swingers in the 60s and 70s, but I just think it's bulls---. And if you're going to f--- me on the first date and discard me, then you're going to miss out on all the other things I'm good at. ;) I'm sorry but I'm a very honest and upfront person-- I don't pretend to be someone I'm not-- and if you don't love me for who I am-- well, it's your loss, isn't it? So ladies-- I say that if you love sex as much as me-- go ahead and f--- on the first date! And if someone calls you a slut, just do what I do and change the terminology-- consider yourself a "sexually liberated female". And then tell them to f--- off.
Holly Randall Doesn't Need Any More Friends Who Can't Spell
She blogs on Myspace June 20, 2005:
Obviously about 90% of the friend requests I get are from people who don't bother to read my profile. I am on Myspace to meet interesting people that I share something in common with, or to find old friends that I've lost touch with. So, again, if you simply send me a friend request without trying to contact me first, I will automatically deny you. I won't even check out your profile first, because I just don't have the patience. It's not that I think I'm too important to add you as a friend, but I don't want 3,000 people on my friend list. This especially goes for bands who are just trying to get their names out there. Good for you guys, but at least consider the fact that I might want to actually enjoy your music if I'm going to add you.
And then there are the thousands of horny idiotic guys I get friend requests from and dumb ass messages. If you bothered to read my profile, you would see that I have a boyfriend. I love him very much and I'm not interested in any more offers of one night stands. Here are a few examples of what kind of messages I'm getting from people I'm NOT interested in getting to know:
want to talk about sex
porns so awsome we need to talk sometime
If you ever come to DC let me know. I am a really good looking succesfull broken hearted lonely guy. Can i fly you to DC for a day and a night?
Damn you are one hot chica! Holla back if you want to hit it up. I'm 6'2, good looking with a big cock. I will make you cum all the time.
hey um do u rekon u could accept my friend invite...or if not tis cool?
Look, I have grown tired of the fraud's on this website. The one's that somehow have enough time on their hand's to make fake profile's. So if your for real, and you have actually been working for Suze Randall photography for six year's, you'll know the ansewr to this ? Which model that has done many photo set's for Suze is a native of Australia, a brunette, a former Penthouse pet from the 90's (that's all the detail I'm going into there), and has gone by two other names, of which I'm not going to mention. I'm on this site, as I'm seriously looking into becoming a director, not a actor. Because I want to make good porn, not act in it.
I've met plenty of idiots in my lifetime, I don't need to meet more. If you have a question about the industry, that's fine, ask me. If you share similar interests-- authors, movies, music, etc, cool let's talk. Otherwise find some other dumb blonde who is desperate for attention. Oh, and BTW-- please at least be over the age of 18 if you're going to email me. I'm sick of the juvenile messages from horny 16-year-olds. And one more thing-- bad grammar is an instant "delete"! Get Hooked on Phonics, for crying out loud.
Holly writes about Jenna Jameson's birthday party.
Mike South: Seymore Butts and Mari Possa Splitsville
He writes: "I heard that she left him for good but I couldn't get a confirmation, today, Seymore's myspace profile has him as single and dating, so I'd say that about sums it up."
Mari Possa indicated she had a story for me last night at PSK, but she wouldn't tell me what it was. Perhaps it was Seymore's new talent agency.
Does Steve Martin know Jeremy Steele?
I went to the movies last night and saw this new Steve Martin movie "Shopgirl." Well, there is this character that is a real degenerate dirty loser, and when I first saw him on the screen I was like "Wow, that is totally just like Jeremy Steele!" And, well, he goes to introduce himself to the girl and says "Hi, my name is Jeremy."
I was blown away! I mean, anyone who has known or met Jeremy needs to go see this movie and let me know what they think, cuz the guy is dead on balls accurate to Jeremy's demeanor, look, personality, etc. Of course, it's not 100% accurate because the guy ends up successfull.
Jeremy Steele responds: "It is a fact that Steve Martin and Jeremy Steele have met. Have a nice day."
Dennis the Peasant: 'I'm Closing Down This Blog'
He writes: "I can’t top this. I can’t come close to topping this... I have been defeated."
Chaim Amalek writes me:
Never heard of this guy so who cares? What people do care about is your increasingly insider status within the adult masturbation trades and what you can do to return to the more transgressive L-ke F-rd we all used to take pride in knowing.
Let's start with the questions you ask: you need to sharpen them up. For example, this Joanna Angel person who purports to be a yeshivish Jew from Brooklyn - why aren't you asking her about her mikvah attendance? - does she or doesn't she go? As she is a Jew, when you cut her, does she not bleed? And when she bleeds, does she or does she not refrain from having sex? With goyim? With Jews? How does she feel about uncut penii? Does she get along with Muslim wannabe Heidi? Does she see in Holly a rival for your affections? Would you Luke, be willing and able to handle a Levitra-fueled night with Holly and Joanna? (And is it true that Holly has been tying you up with your own [sacred things] before having her way with you? One hears rumors.)
And speaking of affection, let's talk infections. You've already once posted the true Christian names of all your porn associates, and lived to tell the tale. Why not start posting morsels of gossip from their medical records as well (which, I happen to know you have access to thanks to that hacker)? Not only would your readers and porn fans in general like to know who's got which form of clap, but as an occupational safety issue, I'll bet the acting talent would like to know this as well. Do this, and "L-ke F-rd" might well become synonymous with "worker safety," which might naturally lead to a lucrative career organizing sex workers, who are very much in need of a union. Don't laugh - it's California, and you know how powerful the unions are out there, and there's big money in running unions.
(Alternatively, you could invite people to discuss what they've caught of late, cross match this information to the the identities of the people with whom they've been having sex, and offer speculation as to who is infecting whom, just to make it interesting and more gossipy. You could even offer a version of the Mike Walker game of the Howard Stern show along these lines.)
To be really interesting in the sense that you were in the old days, you've got to get in touch with the real L-ke F-rd, and to do that you will need to get off your meds (the lithium and zoloft, not the Levitra). Cast off all of this goyishe pharmacology, let Torah be your sole mediator in life, and let the real L-ke F-rd be unsheathed for all to behold and fear.
The Struggle for Luke's Soul
I see that the devious Jews have struck back in the battle for Luke's soul, dispatching ZOG agent Joanna Angel - quite possibly the only real Jew that's less of a Jew than Luke - out to woo him with her aquiline beak and wily charms and connections in the East Coast yeshivas.
Meanwhile, the representative of porn's gentile faction [Holly] has pretended not to be supremely creeped out by his discussion of his erectile dysfunction and his inability to scrape together ten bucks for Levitra. She's taking one on the chin for the Gentiles, as it takes a supreme act of will to repress the wincing nausea that comes with every new revelation.
Let's be honest: this is probably Luke's last shot at finding a woman of child-bearing age that will put up with him. They know he's desperate, but still they're trying. Why? What is so crucial that both ZOG and the Gentiles need to neutralize a humble porn scribe? Is it a ruse by Tony Fats or whoever that gangster duplicator was? Will Joanna step out to "freshen up" and send in a gang of tefilin-wearing porno Hassids to beat the poor scribe senseless?
Who Will Win the Battle for Luke's Soul?
* Joanna and ZOG, because the Jews always win
* Holly and the Gentiles, but only as a lover, because that's all Gentile girls are good for
* Neither. Luke will adopt kittens instead and live a sexless, impoverished life of wholesome contemplation
Yawn
JMT writes:
>I call Joanna Tuesday afternoon. [blah blah blah blah]
YAWN. What the hell has happened to you? It seems that the entire generation of porno people who feared and hated you has moved on, and been replaced by a new crew who are ignorant of your past transgressions, and regard you as some harmless geezer to exchange vapid girltalk with on the phone. When is the last time you've been thrown out of or denied entry to any industry function? When is the last time Kernes followed you around trying to warn people not to talk to you? When is the last time you were threatened or vaguely menaced by anyone in the business (other than that ridiculous fairy Lockwood)? It's been too long, Luke. You need to do something bold and stupid to regain your pariah status in the industry. Publishing performers' real names is played out; what about putting up an actual map of the porn stars' houses and s----- apartments? That would make them hate you again.
XYZ got stuck into me three times tonight at Porn Star Karaoke, right in my face, physical threats of violence et al, but I have to constantly run into him, so I'd rather let it ride then stir it up.
Tim Connelly's Not Returning To AVN
His stuff was packed up at the AVN offices a week ago and shipped to him. He's not returning to AVN, though his contract will be paid in full through May 2006.
There's almost nobody at AVN who will miss him.
AVN will be moving to new offices in about six months.
AVN President Paul Fishbein has bought a new house to raise a family in with his new wife Cherry Rain (redheaded ex-porn star).
Luke's Penile Dysfunction Fund Drive Grows Erect
Random writes on XPT: "I might be willing to send a 20-spot if you promise to say 'This is for my nigga Random' while making sweet love to Holly."
Vilnii writes: "The whole Holly thing is absolutely facinating! To think that a wretch like you could land such a doll! I need to get off my degenerate arse and get a life of my own!"
Holly Randall writes: "Nice postings about the Levitra. I'd never even heard of the stuff until I met you. Please tell me if anyone actually paypals you $$$ for that, it would almost redeem your tendencies to embarass yourself.
"My goodness you're fast! I can't believe my email is already up on your site!"
You're going to be saying, "My goodness you're big!" when I get my free penile enhancement pills from joebucks.
"You really are out of your mind, you know that? You're crazy and you know it. You should go off your medication for a bit, it would be fun to see how nuts you really are."
Duke, why not find a few pictures of the Australia II beating Dennis Conner for the 1983 America's Cup? I though that every [Aussie] dick hard in an instant.
[Luke hauls on the main halyard] ..."Holly, I'm gonne show yeh what's it's like to bend yer main into a beam reach...ueahhhh."
Monstar writes: "On a positive note: after Holly breaks Luke's heart, as we all know - that's what women do, he's going to comeback with a vengeance...which will be right around AEE & the AVNs. I expect his pictures to be masterpiece."
Holly writes me:
I got a myspace message from someone who I didn't recognize-- the title was "Say it ain't so" and the message was: "You are not really messing around with knucklehead Luke? ...right?"
You've certainly made a lot of friends, haven't you?
Dennis writes about Levitra:
They say if you have a four hour woody you should see a doctor.
What if, as in my case, you're straight and your doctor is male? I mean, what's the point?
Dana DeArmond, Joanna Angel Update
I call Joanna Tuesday afternoon. She's staying with fellow model Dana DeArmond.
"How's the life of the famous author [Naked Ambition]?"
Joanna giggles. "I'm rolling in cash right now like Uncle Scrooge."
Luke: "Is it all blowjobs and bubblegum?"
Joanna: "Yeah. I'm like a rock star. There's a whole line of fans waiting outside to have sex with me."
Luke: "You've made $50 go a long way."
Joanna: "I knew how to invest that."
Luke: "Are you in NY or LA?"
Joanna: "LA."
Luke: "Getting pronged on camera?"
Joanna: "Not too often. I did something for Van Styles. He treated me more respectfully than my parents do.
"My mom [Orthodox Jew] hung out with one of my friend's. She sat down and talked to them and said how she tried to stop me from everything but she couldn't. She always has to explain that to my friends. She thinks my friends are like, 'Oh look. It's all her fault.' She doesn't get that they don't care.
"But the other day she called me and said, 'I think it's really good that you're a woman in this business. I think you just need to say, 'F--- everyone and make lots of money.' My mom is like a feminist sometimes. Really weird. It was her way of trying to make sense of the situation."
Luke: "I haven't spoken to your father yet."
Joanna: "I'll have to warm him up for that."
Luke: "What's he saying to you these days? 'Good job in Kill Girl Kill 3, darling.'"
Joanna: "Yes, he gave me a raise in my allowance.
"My dad talks to me about normal things, like 'Make sure you call your health insurance and get your policy renewed.' 'Make sure you pay those parking tickets, Joanna.'"
Luke: "'Watch out for the chlamydia.'"
Joanna: "I don't think he knows what that is. If he did, he would never talk about it."
Luke: "Have you been hanging out with any rock stars?"
Joanna: "I think I'm over rock stars. I grew up. They need quiet girls who don't do anything but hang around them."
Luke: "How many rock stars did you have?"
Joanna: "I don't know. I'm going to have to get back to you on that one. Quite a few."
Luke: "How's Dana? Do you guys have pillow fights?"
Joanna: "We have pillow fights and we paint each other's nails and sometimes we help each other masturbate. Boys are bad news.
"LFP asked me if I wanted to make another movie so I had to go in to talk to them [Drew Rosenfeld] about it."
Luke: "Did Drew touch you inappropriately?"
Joanna: "No. That office is a comfortable place now that Kramer's gone."
Luke: "Did Drew ask you, 'Are these real?' and then touch them?"
Joanna: "No. Nobody's done a reality check on me lately."
Luke: "Did Drew ask for a kickback if he gives you another movie?"
Joanna: "Like a pimp? No. Did you see Joanna's Angels?"
Luke: "No. Pornography degrades women."
Joanna: "It does. My porn is particularly degrading."
Luke: "That's what I feared. I put women on a pedestal."
Joanna: "Like Air Supply."
Luke: "So high they can almost see eternity."
Joanna: "I ask girls what they really like when I cast them and then I try to do everything except for that."
Luke: "What if you were dating a guy who didn't like to give you oral sex?"
Joanna: "It's happened quite often. I like it a lot but he makes me work for it. I get it when I do nice things. That's cool. I look forward to it. I think of it as like dessert. If someone does it to you all the time it isn't that exciting. But I've never had somebody do it to me on a regular basis."
Luke: "You haven't had one man..."
Joanna laughs: "For a really long time. Maybe that's my problem? If I had a serious relationship, then I'd be getting more oral sex? Getting pounded all the time can get painful after a while. Are you saying that when we get married, you're going to give me lots of oral sex?"
Luke: "Umm, as long as we were monogamous, but not if you were whoring around..."
Joanna: "Being a social butterfly."
Luke: "I'd like you to quit doing scenes when we get married, unless we need the money to pay for the kids' dayschool tuition."
Joanna: "I showed up to do a scene today and the director told me the guy was sick. I was convinced that I was ugly in person. I went home and cried. Can I have some of your lithium?"
Luke: "I'll trade you some."
Joanna: "I've never done it before.
"Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm in LA too much, but when I'm home, I'm like, ehhh. I have more friends here."
Luke: "And you're farther away from your parents."
Joanna: "I avoid their phone calls, unlike your's. I have my mom on a one-out-of-ten [basis]."
Luke: "What do you have me on?"
Joanna: "I pick up the phone every time you call. If I miss your call, I call you right back. I won't give my mom my house line.
"I saw a movie the other day that you'd probably like -- The Hebrew Hammer."
Luke: "I liked that. A lot of people call me The Hebrew Hammer for obvious reasons."
Joanna: "Because you try to save Chanukkah?"
Luke: "Yes. How'd you like the Kill Girl Kill 3 party?"
Joanna: "I had a good time. They gave me like 30 free-drink tickets and I think I used all of them. Then I blacked out at a certain point and I don't remember what happened. I woke up at a boy's house on his bathroom floor.
"I'm going to put Mr Marcus in my next movie. It's about time that there was someone not white in an alt-porn movie.
"[Punk aka alt] is like a white rebellion."
Luke: "What's been the critical reaction to Joanna's Angels?"
Joanna: "People seem to like it. I'm not the most professional director. I'm not an expert on sound and lighting and s--- like that."
Luke: "But are people getting the message you're trying to communicate?"
Joanna: "I don't think so."
Luke: "What was the message?"
Joanna: "People get bogged down in what the girls are supposed to look like as opposed to what the porn is supposed to be about. It's about doing what you want, not about how many tattoos a girl has had."
Luke: "It's about female empowerment."
Joanna: "Yes."
Luke: "It's feminism."
Joanna: "I think so."
Luke: "It seems obvious to me that that was the theme of Joanna's Angels."
Joanna: "People aren't getting it, but as long as it makes them think about something, that's all I care about. I don't think men understand anything about female empowerment. Unless you're name is Luke."
Luke: "I heart you. Have any feminists gotten in touch with you to talk about feminist [motifs in Joanna's work]?"
Joanna: "They used to when BurningAngel.com first started. Not since Rochelle Gurstein. I like to be challenged."
Luke: "I remember that from our first interviews until I fell under your spell."
Joanna: "Then you fell in love with me. Everybody falls in love with me and then they like what I do. I want people to question it. I'll send it to some Christian group and maybe something will happen."
Luke: "How much sex do you like to have a week?"
Joanna: "I don't really have sex when I'm in New York, so I like to have as much as I can when I'm out here. I collect it and take it home in a doggie bag."
Dana gets mad at Joanna for not letting her know that she's been talking to me for the past 20-minutes.
Dana: "Joanna is an amazing guest. She and [fellow porn star guest] Sabrina Sparks [little redhead in Joanna's Angels] both clean my house at night when they're cuddling."
Luke: "Is it when she's speeding that she does all this cleaning?"
Dana: "No. I don't allow drugs in my house. I've been a really good influence on Joanna. Cleaning is a residual thing from when she used to take drugs a lot."
Joanna laughs.
Luke: "It brings back good memories."
Dana: "It's just clean enough where I can find everything. Things are in piles.
"I've been taking Sabrina to work, to shoots. We've been sharing Sabrina responsibilities.
"Sabrina's adorable. One night we were sleeping on my bed and when I woke up, we were holding hands.
"The three of us did a photo shoot. It's really cute because Sabrina and Joanna are really small and I'm really big. I read on XXXporntalk that I'm actually a man. Myspace whores.
"I saw a picture of you on the internet in your underwear. You were so adorable. I've been researching you. You're like my Jules Jordan.
"Joanna used to stalk Jules Jordan. He invited us to go to a barbecue at his house. I couldn't take Joanna. She's a stalker."
Dana doesn't sing karaoke. "That's how I found out I really care about my boyfriend because I don't sing in the car around him. I don't sing around people I care about. I can have sex with a room full of people there. I know where my talents lie."
I conclude my chat with Joanna.
J: "Nobody wants to marry me."
L: "But they do want to have sex with you."
J: "They can't afford me. I guess I'm a princess. I'm a quality girl. I can cook and clean and give really good blowjobs. I just want somebody to buy me s---."
L: "And you're naturally monogamous."
J: "Aside from work, I'm devoted."
How Luke Had Holly
After the Nightmoves Awards in Tampa Bay, they had gathered in his hotel room so she could borrow a t-shirt and underwear to go swimming.
He watched with libidinous urges as she stretched and wriggled into his things. The flickering of the Air Supply CD puts her into a drowsy state. She finds herself wondering what the Australian man in the black suit and white tennis shoes would be like in a romantic situation. He has attractive eyebrows even though he is so thin. She nods off to sleep in his bed.
The creature encased in a black suit begins to glow, softly at first, and then more strongly. Water runs silently in the bathtub. He sits up and then stands. Without a sound, he approaches the sleeping girl. The dyed-black hair on his head stirs, coil by coil, then lengthens, tentacle by tentacle, one around her throat, another around her ample charms, a third tightens herself across her mouth.
She awakens as if from a nightmare, but it is no nightmare. His face is close to her's. His cold tentacles hold her in an implacable grip. He is gazing at her with unprecedented longing and desire, with sheer naked need. No mortal man has ever looked at her with such intensity. She struggles briefly and then surrenders to his embrace.
Not that she has much of a choice.
The green mouth opens and reveals fangs. They approach her neck. He loves her so much he wants to assimilate her, make her part of himself forever. He and she will become one.
She understands this wordlessly because, among other things, this gent has the gift of telepathic communication.
"Yes," she sighs.
Leslie writes: "Hi Luke! In your scenario, you forgot to mention where the Levitra enters the action. Maybe you forgot to write...MORE TO COME!"
I Spend My Lithium Money These Days On Levitra Instead
Overall, I'm much happier. Even the nights are better...
Pornmonger writes on GFY: "This seems like a more worthwhile cause then the bogus Nikki fell off the horse scam."
David Schlesinger Destitute
He used to run Vivid's internet operation. Then he quit, went to Joe Francis's Girls Gone Wild, quit that, came back to Vivid to run marketing, and got fired for drug indulgence (heroin?). Now David is broke, divorced and unemployed. He had a girlfriend while he had a wife. She caught him cheating and divorced him.
David's still with that girlfriend.
David was an elitist. He lived high. He had a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills. He enjoyed partying with the cultural elite, such as the Vivid girls.
Now it's all gone.
I hear he's selling action figures.
John Gray writes: "It's too bad that Schlesinger is destitute but I guess karma does play out sometimes and it couldn't have happened to a better guy!"
I remember sending David a wedding gift years back when he was at the top of his game. Vivid/David used to be one of my bigger clients at Sexhound and he was really cool back then. I agree with you Brad Shaw, it seems that if he's got that many friends in high up places, he should be able to land on his feet without any problems. He's a sharp guy.
Wiseman writes: "This is the Internet and everything you read is Real. But let me tell you what David was always a GOOG GOOD guy. and I will Always have a couch or a guest bed for him if he needs it. He never had a bad thing to say about anyone. Nor would he ever treat someone like s--- as well. And the way i understand it. David opened the new club in Vegas Got it all done set up did everything. and then got s--- canned. Best of Luck David."