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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

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Adult industry writers wait for check

America's Porn Journalist and raconteur Gram Ponante announced today that he expects to receive payments via PayPal, money order, and simple snail mail now that the adult industry has estimated its earnings at over $12.6 billion.

"It will happen any minute now," Ponante said, staring down the long hill that leads to Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary. "Sometimes the mailman gets hung up at the bottom of the road."

Professional trade publication AVN polled its network of affiliated sites, video stores, and like six other guys to determine that sales and rental figures for 2005 "eclipsed" $12.6 billion.

"AVN hasn't steered me wrong yet," Ponante said, hopping from one foot to the other, "and I read their publication for the news, if not the astronomy."

Why Porn? Part 2 of 4

Da Burglar writes on XPT:

“There's no mystery. The things I do, I do them because I like them! Because I want to!” – George Higgins, AKA “Machine” in the Movie 8MM (watching a video of Machine torturing a woman)

“Oh, he's a lover, man... definitely loves what he does for a living.” -- Max California, in 8MM

After a young lady has sown her wild oats in porn, when she has done all she originally wanted to do and achieved an inner sense of fulfillment, she may depart the business and pursue other, mundane pursuits in quiet settings in quiet neighborhoods where fucking/sucking/cumfarting is done semi-private. But….what if she decides she LIKES wild oats? She wakes up one day at 2 pm, after her 25 guy gangbang cumbong pukefest and says “I have a weird craving for Cheerios (Honeynut or otherwise).” Now we have the second pathology of why gorgeous young women engage and persist in a pornographic film career.

If you have watched porn, you know there are some girls who obviously enjoy what they are doing. And some exceptional girls, whose appetite for wild oats is particularly healthy, seem to last longer in the industry. What you see on these particular young ladies' faces is no longer mere contentment or fulfillment, what you see is demonic pleasure, hunger, craving, perhaps even addiction. These hot young ladies are now addicted to porn/wild oats. Their brains are addled by all the DPs, TPs, ATMs, Neapolitans, Swirlie Pissmopheads and all the cumfarting-anal creampies-while-being-donkey-punched. An APPETITE has been created in these young ladies that didn’t exist (nor perhaps should exist.)

Suze.net's bogus referral codes?

Without a valid referral code, a webmaster does not get paid for the traffic he sends.

I sent 1,889 unique clicks over the past six weeks to Suze.net and, after pulling my link from my front page, just got my first signup.

That signup shocked me. I had learned not to expect it.

Things like signups don't matter much to me because my kingdom is not of this world. But they seem to matter to more worldly persons than your moral leader.

I know many people will try to read things into this due to my friendship with one of the Randalls. But I'm just reporting the news here without fear or favor.

Terri Redor writes:

I've had a similar experience with Suze Randall and other affiliate programs. I sent quite a bit of traffic to Suze Videos and Suze.net without a single sign-up in return. I don't remember if the following happened with Suze, but I've pulled a zero-performing link several times in the past to find a day later that I'd suddenly made my first sale. It's as if someone noticed that my traffic dropped to zero, and....

Inthestars writes on GFY:

I've figured out why the conversions for Suze.net are so bad!! They are cheating webmasters by doing the following: Has anyone else noticed this about the ref codes that suze.net gives out? They are bogus. Look at this one.

When the surfer hits the page, however, and click on 'JOIN NOW' or any other clickable area, the dcwid id defaults to 'XXXXXX'. The cookie with the webmaster ID isn't carried over. That is how Suze.net has such [bad] conversions.

How clever!

The same people that run Suze.net's affiliate program also run Erica Campbells and a bunch of other programs. I've always wondered why conversions were [bad] with companies using DHD Media and now I know. This is really [bad] on a lot of levels. If these [people] show their faces at Internext, I shall be looking for an explanation.

Jace writes on GFY: "I was going to use one of the dhd programs a while back, and noticed this when I first signed up....I emailed them about it, got the "sorry, we are fixing it now" response...and they fixed it with the one example I gave, but more remained. I gave up.

"...The 2 times I tried to push anything under dhd it took almost a week to get any response and when I did finally get a reponse it was so vague and non-informative that I just gave up."

Studiocritic writes: "I'd like to start certifying sponsors' paysites for being free of traffic leaks, cookie issues, broken links, flaws, etc. I'd have one of our guys run through and certify each site weekly. One of my biggest peeves is pumping traffic to a tour and finding out they changed it and it has new traffic leaks, after wondering why my ratios slipped away."

Farrell Timlake writes on GFY:

You guys need to get the facts first before you go off on DHD.

We use them and do not have this problem so we looked into it. This problem is not a DHD RevEx problem.

The problem is on the Suze side. They put up a link that is not a program link but an example link. Simple honest mistake that they can easily be corrected. Suze runs a good honest program. We have had way better conversions than we ever had with our previous program. Others have experienced the same so feel free to ask for references.

Inthestars writes on GFY: "Suze.net sends out bogus link codes like the one that I posted to affiliates on a monthly basis. Who runs their program? DHD! I don't think its wrong to suspect them of other mistakes, especially with the other Suze.net program, Suze.net Video, which didn't convert either, despite getting a heaping dose of the specialized glamour model traffic which loves that genre."

Why Porn?

Part 1 in a series of 4.

Da Burglar writes on XPT:

Why do young women choose the path of pornography? I am not asking this, “why”, in a Simp/CAOH fashion. I ask it from a serious, semi-philosophical/scientific perspective. “Money” is too obvious and simplistic a reason, because there are other ways that don’t involve pornography for young ladies to make a decent chunk of change: Robbery of Crippled or Elderly Escort Clients, Selling Black Market Prescription Pills to sister-strippers, marrying 89 year old men in upscale nursing homes, etc. The recent Keri Sable bailout-go-to-school decision sparked this train-wreck of thought and I have boiled it down into four basic pathologies. Here is the first of the four.

“Sowing Her Wild Oats”

The dawn of Adulthood upon a young lady's 18th birthday brings with it many opportunities and revelations. Freedom beckons, as well as the urge to get f---ed in as many variegated positions and permutations as possible. But this can’t be pursued without serious consequences in mainstream societal settings for many reasons, so the young lady looks for ways to satisfy her sexual yen. Money is a catalyst, but not the primary force. A hot young chick wants to experiment, be awakened, fulfilled. Pornography offers that….

Consider young Ms Sable. She had a very active and profound year in porn, being filmed in almost every possible combination of debauched, ungodly sexual activity, and at times you could see the sense of fulfillment upon her face and in her countenance. It may have also been the marijuana, but not overly so. She was realizing her sexuality’s power, imbedding in her mind what it feels like to be f---ed in every position feasible; to be double penetrated by above average sized cocks; to be surrounded by erect penises and gorging on them and then having them ejaculate, one by one into her mouth, then staring doe-eyed at the camera for 11 seconds and then swallowing. Yes, she was sowing her wild oats.

So when exactly was the last oat sown and her sense of fulfillment reached? Some might say several months into her contract that she recently skipped out on to pursue education. I say no…her fulfillment was reached when the fifth load of spunk was shot into her rectum and she pooped it into the sorbet bowl and then swallowed it. THAT’s when she decided to pursue General Studies on the other side of the country. She didn’t fully know it then and there, but the realization that she was done, that she was fulfilled, was born. Just like the brain requires 10 to 15 minutes to realize the stomach is full, Keri didn’t realize that the sorbet bowl full of ass cum was the LAST WILD OAT.

Let us all have an introspective moment of silence for all the young girls today whose LAST WILD OAT is the 73rd Donkey Punch they receive that damages their quantitative reasoning skills and leaves them unable to “sorta”-balance their checkbook.

Pierce Veritas writes:

You should ask the same question of yourself. Why Porn? Why do I watch? What need does it fulfill? Am I the casual viewer, the one to pop in the latest copy of Ass f---ers #332 to "spice" up my sex life? OR am I that wretched soul that sits daily in front of the tv or computer screen with cock in hand, huffing and puffing over images of some pre-pubescent looking girl with not hair one on her genitalia.. getting pounded mercilessly by some larger than life porn stud? Am I that pathetic slug of flesh that can neither experience nor even conceive of a relationship with a "real" female because my standards have been so warped by the fantastical and misogynistic pabulum that I feed on daily? I am not anti-porn. In fact, I love that we in this country have the right to view it, but I am consistently astonished by the complete lack of consideration that the average viewer seems to have for the performers themselves. These social morons use the images created by these women to maintain a consistently low sperm count. I admit, this is their right, however as they are wiping the last stains of their bitter seed up from the floor, they are quick to bash and bad-mouth the very objects of their own lusts. What does this reveal about us? Please let us observe a moment of interactive silence for the men who seem ignorant of the fact that they are the "junkie" here and should offer up more respect for the dealers who provide their miserable little lives with it's next fix.

Hot Dating Ideas

As a blogger, I don't have spare cash. So when it comes to dating, I have to be creative. Next week we're accompanying a friend of mine to her weekly chemo treatment. Then we're all having hot monkey sex.

I Took A Levitra And Studied Levinas

It's the worst thing you can do for your love life (aside from drink-and-dial).

Now I know that what I desire is wrong. It's all so clear now. Women are not just disposable parts of the male sexual economy. Eroticisms of voluptuosity are inauthentic face-to-face [doggie is a verboten because it is so animalistic] relationships that tarnish the purity of erotic love. (B.C. Hutchence, Levinas: A Guide for the Perplexed)

But I'm not content with such an insight. I want to go deeper. I want to get into French-Belgium feminist Luce Irgaray who opposes the view that the female is "brought into a world not her own so that the male lover may enjoy himself and gain strength for his voyage toward an autistic transcendence."

I completely followed that sentence until running smack into the word "autistic." I thought that meant retarded and I don't know what "retarded transcendence" means unless it is hot sex with someone whose IQ is below 80.

Irigaray argues that Levinas "knows nothing of communion in pleasure" where there's "immediate ecstasy" between lovers.

Me neither, Emmanuel.

Emmanuel Levinas -- does he allow for the erotic?

According to Irigaray: "Although [Levinas] takes pleasure in caressing, he abandons the feminine other, leaves her to sink, in particular into the darkness of a psuedoanimality, in order to return to his responsibility in a world of men-amonst-themselves."

Levinas argues that there are two types of erotic relationships. There's the atheistic kind where the partners mutually satisfy their selfish desires. Such eroticism is merely the play of self-interested carnality, and we wouldn't want that.

Female erotic nudity is but an "inverted signification," a "clarity converted into ardor and night." Wouldn't want that either.

The women reveals her nudity to hide her feminity.

"One plays with the Other as with a young animal."

Because I can't figure out the meaning other type of erotic relationship according to Levinas, I'll probably never taste it.

From now on, when I study philosophers on love, I'm sticking to Air Supply.

ChaimAmalek: I saw the Museum of Natural History's new Darwin exhibit (you don't get things like that in LA, do you?). Did you know he married his first cousin and had ten kids with her? ChaimAmalek: So first cousing f---ing can work out.
Luke: Yes, there's a famous book about it
ChaimAmalek: The torah?
Luke: The Moral Animal by Robert Wright
ChaimAmalek: Ah, I have it somewhere.
ChaimAmalek: Arabs love to do that.
ChaimAmalek: And have tons of kids. Maybe a certain degree of consanguinity and fecundity are linked.
Luke: I fear that Emmanuel Levinas does not make room for the erotic
ChaimAmalek: Levinas sounds like another in that regretably long line of Jews whom over-educated goyim fall for hook, line, and sinker. Marx and Freud being two of the more recent ones. Along with all those Hollywood Juden.
ChaimAmalek: I read that Elizabeth Hayt's introductory sex column in the Post yesterday.
ChaimAmalek: Yet ANOTHER such column by a woman. elizabeth.hayt@nypost.com She waited too long..... You should write her, seduce her via email, then share her emails with us when it is over. She does not look at all hot.
Luke: what does "autistic transcendence" mean?
ChaimAmalek: It means the author likely is a feminist.
ChaimAmalek: It's like "fecal luminescence" or "paranoid sexual prototensor." It's bad; it means the author is a crazy feminist who likely owns cats.
ChaimAmalek: you date her next?
ChaimAmalek: It won't work.
ChaimAmalek: You just can't feign respect for it
ChaimAmalek: This s--- is painful to read.
ChaimAmalek: This is what happens to women who neglect to f---, get pregnant, bear the kid live, and raise him.
ChaimAmalek: Abortion, cats, feminism, madness.
ChaimAmalek: The one good thing I have to say about this sort of feminism is that if it did not exist, these people would be blowing themselves up in public places.
...Luke: You can only diss me so much before I snap.
ChaimAmalek: What has she done to diss you? Just not returning calls right away? Maybe she's just trying to establish who wears the pants and wields the dildo in this relationship.
A small price to pay for hot sex. You need to eat her pussy. Drop to your knees and put your face - your FACE - right into it.

Andrew Trentacosta Warns About Director Thomas Paine

He emails me:

I just wanted to say hello to you and all my friends in the business. I miss you all. Just a quick note about director Thomas Paine (Paul Parco):

I want to warn all producers and video companies about this awful man. I tried to help him many times when I was at Adam & Eve, Spice and Playboy, and the way he paid me back was to steal thousands of dollars from me. He is a thief, dishonest, uncouth and vile. If anyone hires him, they should be prepared to be robbed.

I am retired. Mostly travel, golf, tennis and relaxing by the pool. Probably won't get to AVN again. Although I miss the biz, I wouldn't want to come around unless I had something in the works. Obviously, I'm a little bitter about my last foray into Adult with Paine. He really scarred me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and All The Best in 2006!

Girls such as Julie Rage have complained that Paine has hit them up for blowjobs.

Ron Sullivan Is Back

Henri Pachard (hpachard@sbcglobal.net) replies to my email:

I'm getting a little stronger every day, I suppose. I won't know more about my condition until the 21st, when I meet with the U.C.L.A. radiation department and get the pathology report to determine if I need to undergo any radiation treatments. Meanwhile, my speech is improving a little each day as the swelling continues to subside, and the healing continues.

Today, I went out to "meet with the guys" for lunch at the Lamplighter in Chatsworth. I wore a bandana around my neck to hide my surgical scars; and had a high-calorie milk shake for lunch. Later today I'll have another two cans of "high impact" liquid food that I pump into my stomach. I'm actually gaining back some of the weight that I lost.

What To Expect From Internext

It runs concurrently with the Adult Entertainment Expo.

A source tells me: "Expect more mobile companies to infiltrate the business. Cellular carriers. VOD (Video On Demand). New technologies. Last year it was the XTC box that Dave Koenig came out with. I don't know if that ever did anything. I don't know anyone who uses the program. I got a ton of spam about it a year ago. Sexsearch, Cams.com, dating sites, AFF (Adult Friend Finder) are going to be big this year. Pussycash.com will give away a Porsche."

Jay Of Britain's RealPunting.com

* How did you get into this?

I've been involved in it for a while; in Britain hiring an escort is known as 'punting'. I used to enjoy reading punters' internet reports on their encounters with working girls. Some of them were really well-written and included fascinating detail. Then I thought, in this day and age, shouldn't there be video reviews of escorts, where you can actually see what she's like before you make a booking? I decided to create a website devoted to this and RealPunting.com was born. It's been a steep learning curve and if I had known back then what it was going to take, well I doubt I would have taken the plunge at all! But I'm glad I did. The punters have really started to see my website as a useful resource and their feedback spurs me on all the time.

* What do you love and hate about porn?

I don't really know much about porn! What I do is video real sessions with professional escorts. Now if you had asked - what do you love and hate about the escorting scene - we could talk all night. Most porn I have watched seems frantic, aggressive and frankly rather abusive towards the women, the aim seems to be to get harder and nastier all the time, so I hate that. It's nothing like the real sex that real people have. I film reality and it's two consensual people relating to each other. Yes money has changed hands, but the escort still gives you a genuine good time if you pick the right lady. It's harmonious sex.

* When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Rich.

* What were you expected (by parents, etc) to become?

My parents just wanted me to be happy. At the moment I feel damn lucky to be living the life I am.

Wave of Obscenity Prosecutions Leads to Closure and Self-Censorship of SM Websites

October 20, 2005 - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has announced that his office will specifically target "bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior" in pursuing new obscenity prosecutions. The Department of Justice began recruiting in late July for a new anti-obscenity squad to pursue obscenity prosecutions, and the FBI announced in September that it was forming an anti-obscenity task force to crack down on pornography.

Any website that has content containing "bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior" should be forewarned that prosecution is possible. Additionally, Federal sentencing guidelines state that any obscenity- related punishment should be "enhanced for sadomasochistic material."

Forty people and businesses have been convicted of obscenity since 2001, and 20 additional indictments are pending according to Andrew Oosterbaan, chief of the Justice Department's child exploitation and obscenity section. There were only four obscenity prosecutions during the eight years of the Clinton administration.

Eva Angelina Leaving Porn To Join U.S. Navy

Monstar interviews her.

Pure Talent Agency's School Of Dance

Run by the husband-wife team of Jim and Ann Marie Hayek (former feature dancer and escort), Pure Talent books strippers into clubs across North America. They also push their girls into taking their $1,000 dance school.

Kelsey Michaels said on KSEX that she paid $1,500 to Ann Marie for the school. Ann said she never got the money.

Tabitha Stevens Update

I call her about the new site HollywoodMafia.com, which devotes a page to her.

The site is run by her ex-husband, the FBI-informant Kenneth Gallo.

Tabitha, 35: "My pictures is all over his website. He's trying to use my name and ride my coattails because my career is blowing up and he hopes I'll mention his name. Uh uhh. I looked at his site and I'm listed as an associate [of the Mafia]. How am I an associate? I won't speak of him. That guy has caused me more grief in my life than anything else. So what's going on with you?"

Luke: "What else is going on with you?"

Tabitha: "This week is cool. I'm going on Sirius radio in New York. I'm going to do a few shows. I'm going to do Meet the Shrink for Howard Stern and another new show. I'm going on the Howard Stern Show Friday, his last show, to say goodbye. He's actually having me speak.

"We've finished my [mainstream] film -- Tabitha Stevens: The Shaman. We're dubbing in the soundtrack. It's going out in January. It was shot on 35mm. There is no sex, no simulated sex, no kissing. There are parts of it where I'm naked but it is not done in a way that is tacky.

"They suspended me 15-feet in the hair with hooks in my back in the skin. I did the stunt myself. The pictures are amazing but gross.

"I had my cheek implants redone on Dr. 90210 [airing Dec 19]. Sally Jesse Raphael covered some of the filming."

Luke: "When you were on the Howard Stern show last, didn't you say you were really depressed?"

Tabitha: "Probably. It's a normal thing, especially with women. I'm better than I was. And I'm not a spring chicken."

Luke: "When are you going to have ex-husband number four?"

Tabitha: "I'm not ready. I'm not married. When Nick asked me to marry him last year... We're good friends. We didn't know what we were doing. I'll be travelling with the film. There's no time for me to have a serious relationship."

Jamie Lynn - Penthouse Pet of the Year 2006

I met her a year ago at a Penthouse talent call in Woodland Hills.

I call her Monday morning and we reminisce.

Jamie: "They were hating on you.

"I've been in the Adult industry for three years. I've been in a lot of magazines and websites. Now it feels like I've arrived at the peak of my career in the Adult industry. It's a great achievement."

Luke: "How have people in your life reacted?"

Jamie: "They're excited and proud. Even my mom, one of the most modest people in the world, is very proud of me. My dad's happy. My grandma. Everyone is very supportive."

Luke: "What have you learned from doing so many interviews?"

Jamie: "Nothing really. They just ask the same questions. I'm more of a creative person. I want to give them different answers but they turn out the same. They ask me about how I got in the industry, how does my family think about it, am I going to go harder or stay with soft, what I want to do after my year... I'm going to ride it out and see what doors open."

Luke: "Are you going to go harder?"

Jamie: "No.

"I'm still with my boyfriend (two-and-a-half years). He's very proud. He's very supportive."

Luke: "What does a typical day look like for you?"

Jamie: "I just did a two-week tour of the eight Penthouse clubs. You wake up, you get on the plane, you sleep on the plane, you get off, you get ready for work, and you mingle at the club for four-to-six hours. You sign. You meet with fans. You take polaroids. Then you wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

"I have a new website, sexyjamie.com. I'm doing AVN [Vegas show] this year for the first time. I know that Penthouse is looking into TV and we're going to get a studio out here."

Luke: "When you're doing all this signing and traveling, is there anything that makes you cranky?"

Jamie: "The other girls complaining. We all have to work together even if it's the early morning."

Luke: "What are you passionate about?"

Jamie: "Succeeding and meeting my goals. I want a house. I want financial security. I'll always be working. I wouldn't want to be an at-home mom."

Luke: "You're not going to mind growing older because you've got so many plans."

Jamie: "Exactly."

Luke: "Do many women get catty because of your success and your looks?"

Jamie: "Yeah. I have three sisters. Sure, they'd love to model and compete [with Jamie], but they don't want to do everything I've done to get where I'm at. They don't want to start at the bottom.

"It's hard to find girl friends.

"I try to separate my work and my home life. I don't tell people right away what I do for a living."

Hustler Magazine's New Features Editor

The Hustler Tattler writes:

Hans Fuersinger has been named the new Features Editor at Hustler Magazine. Unlike his predecessor, Carolyn Sincla-r, Hans had to pay his dues as an editorial assistant for about two years and eat shit from Editorial Director Bruce David.

Not only has Hans has written more articles than Carolyn, who had written a grand total of 3 when lovesick Bruce handed her the job, but he actually wrote them himself. Sources say that Sinclair covertly enlisted help from outside writers and then placed her sole name on their work.

We’re glad the position did not go to Bruce David Toady/Research Director Mark Johnson, who has his head so far up Bruce’s ass he can describe the old man's sphincter in glorious detail.

Who can ever forget when Bruce had Mark Johnson spy on LFP staffers or when he told Mark to look up the home address of the president of E-bay?

At the time, Bruce had gotten thrown off E-bay for selling some pirated bootleg copies of TV shows and was out for revenge. Of course that scheme, like all of Bruce's, failed miserably.

What of former Features Editor Carolyn Sincla-r? We hear she is headed to Rockwall, Texas, and then to Ireland where she loudly proclaimed "no has a career," Let's hope that applies to hers.

Speaking of Sinclair, we hear from a source that LFP freelancer Adreanna Robbins leaked private information about an LFP employee to Carolyn Sincla-r several months ago. Apparently Robbins was assisting in a smear campaign that Sinclair was mounting (but ultimately failed).

It's no secret that Robbins is given to exaggeration and outright lying. We recall when Robbins claimed that then-LFP employee Mike Albo was supposedly brandishing a huge knife, which in fact, was actually a tiny pen knife used for peeling oranges.

Robbins is also adept at sandbagging and she jealously dissed Alaina Fior-nte many times behind her back for becoming the Hustler web editor, a job Robbins wanted.

How did Robbins ever get a job at LFP in the first place? Via her dead father Harold Robbins, the trash novelist who sold millions (Adreanna was disinherited). He was a buddy of Larry Flynt who subsequently gave Adreanna, a failed novelist, a job as an editorial assistant. After that position was eliminated, she was given the freelance gig of writing the company newsletter: the LFP Insider.

Harold Robbins is in the grave, but cronyism is alive and well at Hustler!

Porn Star Pajama Party Friday Night

Monstar reports.

'Porn Shutdown' Documentary

According to IMDB.com:

Porn Shutdown documents the story of Lara Roxx, a female porn star who contracted HIV from unprotected sex while shooting a hardcore porn movie involving two men. Darren James - one of the male performers - was HIV positive - and he's believed to have infected Lara. This honest film will report how America's porn industry was shutdown overnight for 60 days as the entire hardcore pornography community - consisting of some 1200 performers - underwent AIDS tests. Tragically, two more women were diagnosed HIV positive. Against one woman's story of naivety and manipulation, this topical investigation will show how America's right wing Administration is using the HIV scare to vigorously crack down on the porn industry in this election year. It will also touch on the debate that more regulation is needed while others suggest caution as it could drive the industry underground.

XPT thread. This documentary first aired in the UK.

From Max Hardcore's IMDB.com profile:

Ranked #28 in AVN's Top 50 Porn Stars of All Time

Is the fifth of six children of a working class couple, who grew up in Racine. His father operated a small advertising agency and died in 1978. His mother Peggy, born in 1918, and lives with her daughter Linda in Racine, Wisconsin.

He attended Catholic school until eighth grade, and still goes to church occasionally.

Wicked Soap Opera

Brian_Wallace writes on ADT:

...[C]ouldn't you make a great soap opera just focusing on the behind the scenes situations at Wicked Pictures? When you think of all the different personalities (Jenna Jameson, Chasey Lain, Serenity, Brad Armstrong, Evan Stone, Devinn Lane, Alexa, Sydnee Steele, Stephanie Swift, Keri Sable, Julia Ann, Stormy, etc.) and the relationships between them? It would be interesting even without the sex. I hope at some point an oral history (no pun intended) will be written about Wicked Pictures. Maybe I'm the only one who would be interested in reading it. Heidi Pike-Johnson would be the person to write it.

Sky Lopez Interview

"I am no longer in the Adult Industry and have not been for about three years. I had a change of life style when I got "Saved" in my dreams one night. And was shown in my dreams what it is that I am suppose to do, or who I am suppose to be. From that point on I quit the Adult Industry, moved into a Ministry Home for six months, studied Bible theology and did some soul searching. Where I worked on my relationship with God and Myself. Getting back to who I really was, a Break-dancing Hip-Hop Artist Raised in Oakland CA and been rapping since the age twelve. I just got back to what I fell in love with first! Before men, before sex, before popularity, before money before life! I am in the middle of shooting a mainstream film. Three Music Video's and also have a new T.V. Show coming out, that information will be announced on my web-site www.SkysVibe.com."

ANGELA: Do you have any advice that you would like to give to up and coming Adult Film Actresses, any warnings?

SKY: I would just like to let them know it is a long, exhausting, emotional winding road that leads to no where but self destruction and a bunch of mess's that will take too long to clean up, and you might not have the strength for. And remember you’re not only hurting yourself but everybody else in your family. And even in your future family that you still haven't met yet, because it will always effect you. It might sound like fun or look glamorous, but it is such a very ugly world. Not one I would recommend for anyone......

JMT writes about Sky's appearance Dec 15-17 at the Crazy Horse Gentlemen's Club: "She will be discussing her religious conversion and her three-year absence from the adult industry this weekend in San Francisco. Oh, and showing her pussy for crumpled dollar bills."

Hustler Holiday Party

Holly Randall writes on Suze: "I just posted some pics from the Hustler Holiday party-- I tried to have a conversation with Larry but he was so busy staring at my chest I don't think he heard a word I said... MY boobs, distracting Larry Flynt! I'm flattered!"

Where's The Spice?

Paul writes me:

I know you're not of a faith that puts much stock in Christmas, and I'm not a faith that puts much stock in anythying. That said, I take this time of year to wish you all the best. I hope you're well and getting the happiness you need - and whatever else also. I sometimes read your site looking for clues into Luke's progression. Whatever else I find, I don't find those clues that were the spice of the former site.

Jasmine Grey (Michelle Grayshaw) and two friends died Saturday in a car accident

Jasmine stood 4'11, measured 34D-25-35 (naturally) and weighed 125 pounds. She was 21.

The Beacon Journal reports:

MEDINA TWP. - Fresh roses, artificial poinsettias and tire tracks through the snow were all that marked the spot Saturday where three friends were killed in a one-car accident.

The Medina post of the State Highway Patrol identified the three as Michelle Grayshaw, 21, Brent Birth, 24, and Brian Gerspacher, 25, all of Medina.

The patrol reported that Grayshaw was driving a 2003 Chevrolet Cavalier south on Foskett Road past Hamilton Road at 2:08 a.m. Saturday when the vehicle went off the left side of the road, slid through a snow-filled ditch and struck a tree.

Grayshaw was a self-employed model and Birth was a bricklayer in his father's masonry business...

Here's an excerpt of an interview she gave to Glamourcon.com:

GC: When you turned 18 you auditioned for a gentlemen's club. What made you decide to do that?

Jasmine: Well for one, I was tired of working 40 hour weeks. I have been doing that since I was sixteen. I also knew some people that were dancers and I just envied there lifestyle. I grew up with very little money and the fact that I could now make it so easily and have fun doing it was very attractive to me. I have always been a very sexual person, and the fact that I could use my sexuality to make money was just a huge bonus for me.

Jeremy Steele writes:

I once wrote this of her:

She's blessed with breasts.
Upon her pillows my head would rest.
A dream which speaks of
Spring when all blossoms and sings.

That's all I'd prefer to say about it. Thanks. She was a beautiful creature and in our memory shall always remain.

From JasmineGrey.com:

I was born in a small hospital just south of Cleveland. I am the baby of the family. Growing up, I was quite a tomboy. There weren't many girls around that were my age, so I often hung out with the boys. We would go fishing, play football, and work on cars. My family was pretty big into the demolition derby, so we were always tearin' apart and re-building cars to race. I spent my summers looking forward to the county fair. As I got older, I started to develop, more so than the other girls. I guess this is when I started to notice boys, they weren't as obnoxious any more. When I turned 18, I went to an audition. I landed the job, and began working at a local gentlemen's club. This is where I was introduced to the whole modeling thing. I had always wanted to model. A few of the girls working there were signed with a local agent, and told me to go talk with him. I went to a test shoot, and fell in love with the camera. One thing led to the other, and here I am.

More on Jasmine Grey. Link

Mob Talk

HollywoodMafia reports:

I keep hearing that the Feds are going to take down Rick Rizzolo owner of the Crazy Horse too strip bar and the Ritz restaurant in Newport Beach California. I guess he can keep mixing with law enforcement in Newport Beach until then. What were the Crazy Horse mob connections? We had Vinnie Faraci who they say is a connected guy. I heard on the street he was a Capo in the Bonnano family and his father Vinny "Greens" is one of the few remaining Capo's on the street in Brooklyn. I guess Joey Massino will soon fix all that. Then you had Rocky Lombardo brother of fugitive Chicago Outfit Boss Joey "the Clown" Lombardo and then you had Joe Cusamano who was around the Antman and finally Bobby D'Apice who I cant talk about now. There are more and they will be here at a later date. I put some new audio up on the website of Simon from American Idol calling up Tabitha Stevens looking to hook up. I know its not wiseguy talk, but it will become clear later. We all know that Simon was not looking to speak with Tabitha because of her intellect.

Who's The Key Federal Informant Behind E2K Investigation?

One porn girl referred 90% of the porn girls to Exotica2000 (an escort service busted a few months ago, $45 million was confiscated) and making a 15% commission on all the girls. Somehow this girl has stayed out of prison while other girls, such as Australian Jennifer Electra, are going to prison.

This informant girl had a falling out with Jennifer Electra.

Porn girl Miko Lee was close to Alex, the owner of E2K.

Playboy's Buying ClubJenna

Jenna's husband Jay Grdina responds to my email: "Actually, we are buying Playboy. I bought 100 shares last week."

Two months ago, Playboy bought Lensman's adult.com empire.

So far, Playboy has only lost money on the Web. Call it their web of incompetence. But it looks like things are changing. Lensman will show them the way.

Keri Sable Leaves Wicked

KO_Artist writes on ADT:

Keri informed Wicked of her decision Thursday and she is no longer with them.

It seems that Keri wants to continue her education back on the East Coast.

Keri was contract-worthy from the moment she entered the biz, and it didn't hurt that her BF, Brad Armstrong was a Wicked contract director. This no doubt helped her attain "Wicked Girl" status. I also hear that Brad encouraged Keri to leave the biz and was a big factor in her decision to depart. This should not reflect poorly on Wicked. They have a great group of people there and this was just Keri's personal decision.

I don't believe it was Brad that Keri dated, but rather another Wicked director -- Jonathan Morgan.

Smelly Monkey writes on XPT:

Porn is like the mafia, once you are in it, you never leave it, it never leaves you. Once you step in the door, thats it. It follows you until the grave, its your deep dark secret that is out there waiting to be discovered and you never know when you are going to get whacked (HIV) it could happen on any given day by the person you least expect (best friend and room mate of 3 years whos recently returned from a south american trip who you are doing a DP with the following tuesday). Theres lot of different families (companies) and theres always drama between and within them. If you f--- up then they turn their back on you much the same way with the mob, and if you go public and declare how porn used and abused you its treated with the same regard as if you rat to the cops within the mob. You are a target.

WillieD writes on XPT:

While Keri is originally from NY, the whore should definitely have stayed out there, where UCLA professors offer classes in porn production and other "moons-for-goons" smut classes like that. I think she will find a different reception from accademia on the right coast then out in CA. The stigma of porn will affect her more back East. Think of what she'll have to say when asked to explain the span of time between graduating high school and applying for entrance:

School: So, Ms. Sable (for lack of her real name), how have you diverted yourself in the past year?
KS: Uhh...working?
S: Ahh, in what line?
KS: I made some movies.
S: Excellent, a cinemaphile. Were you planning on pursuing that as an undergraduate?
KS: I'm interested in physical therapy. I know a lot about people's bodies.
S: Oh, so your movies were more instructional-types?
KS: You could say that.
S: Any titles I might recognize?
KS: Well [starts to loosen up]...uh...there was one called "O Ring Blowout," [starts to reminisce fondly over her porn past] and then, there was this awesome one called "Cum-Filled Asshole Overload 2." It was awesome!
S: Thank you ma'am...good luck in Junior College...NEXT!

Her stoner tendencies won't help much, either. You can go through public school as a stoner and cop a 3.8. Hell, I went through a Jesuit high school drinking like a fish every weekend and got a 3.9. But college is different. I knew plenty of stoners at Dartmouth. They got in because the family pulled some weight. Will Dad vouch for his porn-whore daughter after she skipped out on them with no notice? If she rolls up to an Ivy Legue doorstep, I'm driving straight to Hanover to return my sheepskin.

JRV writes: "I've always heard that her parents are the ones that paid for all of her cosmetic surgery. I guess that was to help get her started in her porn career."

Gia Jordan writes: "Her parents paid for her surgery as a high school graduation present, which is quite common now for parents to do. They didn't do it for porn, they did it because it was something Keri had been wanting a long time."

Fred writes:

It's one thing to try to leave the business and melt back into the suburbs.

It's quite another thing to try to melt back into academia, filled with frat boys who have probably watched more than a couple of porn videos. Do you really think it's possible to go through college without having your prior career "discovered"?

As I recall, about 3 or 4 years ago, there was a porn actress who was in college, Leanni Lei, or some such thing--a very distingctive-looking Philippina. Was she able to get through without being "outed"?

American Idol's Simon Cowell Calls Porn Star Tabetha Stevens

HollywoodMafia has the audio.

Aussie Escort Jennifer Electra from E2K Jailed Thursday

She faces $100,000 bail.

Dez From Dirty Dez's Weekend Leaves Rehab?

I met him May 26.

Dez writes me: "HAHAH I wish! I was in portland for about 2 and a half weeks to visit family for Thanksgiving, I guess thats kinda like rehab! It was nice to get away and yeah i guess i haven't even sipped a Heineken since I've been back , but believe this I WONT BE BLINKING FOR FOUR DAYS AT AVN!

"Now I got 5000 people askin' me if im ok and how was rehab."

Dinner with porn stars -- and my wife

By Peter Sagal

Stormy Daniels is re-enacting the experience of being recognized in public.

"First, they give me `The Look,' she says, raising one plucked eyebrow, enacting a naughty knowing smirk. "Then, they kind of shift their weight."

She sits up in her chair and leans toward me. "Then, they realize they're standing next to their wife."

She slumps back, looks sheepish. "Then, they wait until their wives go away," -- The Look comes back -- "and then lean over, and whisper, 'I love your work.' Never 'porn.' It's always 'Your work.'"

DaVinci Load Updated

Missy Monroe Missy Monroe Extras, Myah Monroe (right) Minda, Steve Holmes, extras Extras Minda, Steve Holmes, extras Extras Tori Lane Tori Hailey Page Hailey Hailey Hailey, Tori Hailey, Tori Hailey, Tori Tori Tori Tori Tori Tori Minda Minda Jerome Tanner Missy, Evan Stone Hailey and her favorite porn writer Nelson X Tori Tori Jerome Tanner adjusts Tori's tits, Gino Anthony Petkovich, Editor of Adam Film World

Dec 7: Missy Monroe Missy Missy Hailey Paige, Evan Stone Hailey, Evan Missy Missy Missy Charlotte Stokely Hailey Hailey Jasmine Tame Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Jasmine, Charlotte Gram Ponante Reports

I interview Jasmine Tame, 19, who's been in porn for seven months, appearing in about 80 scenes.

"I was broke. I was in college. This was my big break and I liked it."

What did you study in college?

"I was taking the basic classes like math and science and that crap."

Charlotte Stokely says she started college at age 15 (while in highschool). She says she has about two year's worth of credits.

Jasmine: "I like LA because the mountains are pretty and the people are nice. I just like the heat, so I'm never going to leave Miami."

Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"

Jasmine: "It was a mix of people. Geeks, the popular girls, to sports guys... I was a good student through all the cheating. I had a good GPA. I cheated on every test I had. I hated school so I just cheated."

Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Jasmine: "I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. After that, I wanted to be a choreographer, but that's too competitive, so I've just stuck with Adult film."

Jasmine asks James Deen: "What did you want to do? This? Well, you're 19."

Luke: "He's a guy.

"What's the oldest guy you've been with?"

Jasmine: "Sixty."

Luke: "You did a scene with Dave Cummings?"

Jasmine shakes her head. "It was a private. I gave a BJ to some old guy. It was different. Doesn't bother me."

Tame got a breast job last October, moving from a 34B to a 36C.

Luke: "What were you expected to become by your parents?"

Jasmine: "They left it up to me but my dad wanted me to work in healthcare, but I hate blood and I don't want to be near people puking."

James Deen no longer likes to be referred to as "talent." He's a "sexually liberated craftsman."

James: "There's no talent in what I do."

Charlotte Stokely, 19, has been in LA porn for about a year (before then she did some internet porn in Florida).

She says she used to work every day. Now she works every other day.

Luke: "What happened to you in college?"

Charlotte: "I didn't like that I had to wake up early and go to school. I didn't think it was very fair."

As a kid, Charlotte wanted to be an "astronaut or an astrologer because I was really into [stars]. Second was a botanist because I'm really into planets. Third was a medical examiner. Then I realized there was a lot of schooling involved.

"My parents were so excited that I graduated highschool. I was the first person on my mom's side of the family to graduate highschool.

"The only thing I don't like about the [porn] industry is if I go to a party and civilians sexually harass me, sometimes so badly that I have to leave. Just because I'm a porn star doesn't mean I'm slutty. I'm pretty prudish.

"Porn is my career. It's not just for money. I'm trying to work my way up in my career. I want a name for myself. I want a respectful classy elegant name for myself."

In her spare time, Charlotte smokes pot, reads books and plays with her cats.

Luke: "What do you spend your money on?"

Charlotte: "I don't know. It's just gone. A thousand dollars like that. Some months I make $30,000."

Single for a year, Charlotte says her fiance of two years "won't even speak to me. I'm traveling to Florida in a week and staying with a friend in his neighborhood. I'm bound to run into him. He thinks I do it to get back at him but I do it because it is what I want to do. I've been taking dirty pictures of myself since before I was allowed to.

"I started doing porn when we were still together. It wasn't to get back at him. A guy I went to highschool with came across a pop-up with me on it, clicked on the link, and then sent out a massive email about me. I got a phone call when I was at work from my ex's friend. He said, 'I saw something. I don't want to look at it but I'm pretty sure it is you. I'm going to tell him right now.'

"I said, 'Let me tell him.' I called my boyfriend. We still talked for another two months. We tried to keep the relationship going."

Luke: "What did he say about you doing porn?"

Charlotte: "He said a lot of rude and hurtful things. He said that I was a dirty slut who deserved to be punched in the mouth and kicked to the curb. He was really rude about it but you've got to think that he was also really hurt too."

Luke: "Did you tell him you were thinking about him while you were working?"

Charlotte: "No, because I don't think about him. He's the last thing on my mind."

Gram Ponante walks outside. "They asked me to perform," he says. "But I've already done four scenes today. I at least need a burger."

I have a four-inch hole in the crotch of my black pants. I must ask Holly if she'll sew it. That'll tell me what kind of wife she'll make.

I ask James Deen about gossip that I like gossip.

James: "He doesn't like gossip. He puts an end to gossip. When he heard gossip about me, this girl said I was dating her, he called me and put an end to the gossip."

Charlotte develops an allergic reaction to the dildo she's using. Jerry gives her a Benadryl.

Dec. 8.

At the Adult Film Awards circa 1986, Suze Randall came out to the Christian porn protesters, held up her dress and flashed her vagina.

Working with Scott Nails and Steve Holmes, Missy squirts several times. Once she gets it on the camera lens.

I interview Hailey Page, 23, while she smokes outside with Tory Lane.

At age 18, Page stopped working at Blockbuster and started nude modeling because she needed money to pay for college. "I didn't get into video until I was 21.

"I've already paid for my bachelor's [she says she will soon graduate with a degree in Pyschology from Southern California University, which has a distance learning program]. Now I'm working on [paying for] my master's [also at SCU]. I want to get my doctorate from an actual school."

Hailey wants to become a sex therapist.

As a kid, she wanted to become a veterinarian for cats. "My dad wanted me to be a writer because he's a writer. He's written a bunch of novels, none of them published.

"For a while I wanted to be a writer because when you're little, you want your parents to be proud of you. But it's not really for me."

Hailey says she hung out with a "weird" crowd in highschool. "People who didn't have a certain group. We were just different."

Luke: "What do you love and hate about porn?"

Hailey: "I love the flexibility, freedom, the sex, how open everyone is, and basically honest. I can have as much time off as I want. I don't like how female porn stars are stigmatized. They don't give us a chance to be something else. It'd be hard for a girl like me to start directing."

Luke: "How has being in this industry affected you?"

Hailey: "It's made me more picky about men. It makes me think, 'If I'm not getting paid, what's the point?' It's given me more self-respect."

It's been a couple of months since Hailey had sex for free. "It's hard to date. If I wanted to date someone outside the business, this would be hard for them to accept, even if I wasn't doing it anymore. It's hard to date someone in the business, because when I quit, are they still going to be in it?

"I just broke up with someone."

Luke: "How has porn affected your sex life?"

Hailey: "It's numbed me. Nothing's a novelty anymore. You can't try something for the first time with someone."

I chat with Minda, an extra, in the kitchen. Just 19, she's had sex three times in her life (with one guy). She's a Journalism major at Cal-State Northridge.

Evan Stone: "How would you like to be with a professional?"

She says no.

I lie into my taperecorder: "Her face flushes bright red. She starts crying."

Minda giggles.

Girl, you are the sun. I am the moon. You are the words. I am the tune. Play me.

I say into my recorder: "James Deen says, 'Get me in too.'"

James: "That's not what I said. It was a lot more sleazy and perverted than that."

Luke: "I'm trying to save this young girl's innocence."

Evan: "I'm trying to save her too. Imagine if she fell in with Joey Ray. At least this way she'll be with gentlemen."

During the first sex scene of the day, Steve Holmes asked Minda if he could feel her breasts. She said, "No."

"Just a little bit?" he persisted.

"No," she said. "I'm just an extra who you can't touch."

The guy holding the C-light for the penetration shots asks Minda out. She says no.

Last night, she was an extra in a cowl watching a six-person orgy.

She says the past 24-hours have opened her mind and given her a good feeling.

4:40pm. I walk down the corridor and past Barry Woods (former husband of dead porn star Trinity Loren, I believe the James Davenport in this story has kicked the bucket, possibly an overdose).

"Are you still after [Minda]?" he asks.

"I'm just doing my job."

Jace Rocker (camera monitor and assistant director) says he's doing great. He owns his own home and two cars and has "an awesome civilian girlfriend. She has a master's degree in business. I've never been happier. She laughs at all my stuff.

"I've only [directed] one show a year for the past six years and every single year I've been nominated [by AVN]."

Why do only one show a year?

"Because there are too many dogs at the feedbowl, all growling for little morsels. Most releases are gonzo and I don't do that crap. I don't do sex movies. I do movies with sex in them."

Photographer Richard Montfort walks Tory Lane down the hallway in her red hooker outfit. "Make room for the star," he commands. "Don't look directly in her eyes."

Missy has an impossible time pronouncing "Shangrila" and "priory."

Jerry yells at her. "Missy, I gave you the script two weeks ago."

Missy: "I know."

UK Porn Party

Webmaster JoeA writes:

After a few of us UK adult industry producers had our informal meeting to discuss promoting ourselves in the States the other week, we decided to have an Xmas party just for the industry, without any consumers. Our own UK BGAFD forum has one every year where the stars, producers and consumers meet, and you can see some pics from these here: BGAFD party pics

Most of the UK producers who were at the party are unkown in the States and Luke has been great by recently publishing little pieces on a few of them. These include Terry Stephens aka One Eyed Jack who has been nominated for an AVN award next month, Tas from Necta's and George from Doll Theatre.

A few of the girls at the party are well known in the States, Donna Marie (Ibbotson), Wendy Taylor, Sandie Caine, Elizabeth Michelle LawrenceNatalie Heck and Sahara who only returned to the UK last week from LA. Also partying were some of the UK's latest and brightest rising stars, Kaz B who at 4ft 10in, in her bare feet you have to be careful not to trip over, but she has great potential for the future and Lara Lee. These two have only been in the industry for just a couple of months but seem to be working almost every day of the week.... Other models were the fabulous Faye Rampton who has been meaning to fly over to work in the States for ages and is one of the biggest names over here, Samantha Bond, Jess Sucker, Emma Louise, Yazmine who is very new to modelling and works mainly as a presenter on an adult satellite channel TVX as a presenter, Crystal-Lei who even though her name is Oriental is a stunning blonde with a very strong Welsh accent. Many of us needed her partner to interpret what she said to us were also seen to have a great time.

Normally at industry only parties the girls behave compared to the BGAFD ones, where they put on multi girl XXX rated shows for the consumers. As a few of us were taking pics last night, most of the girls kindly did a little bit here and there. A few of these pics can be found here. There was also an after party, party hosted once again by Nigel and Donna from MAI back at their hotel room, which I missed and I heard finished as previous ones at 9 am this morning, so I can only guess about what went on at that one. If it's like the others they've hosted, it must have been brilliant. It seems most who were left standing when the first party finished at 2 am went on to this one.

So on behalf of all of us in the adult industry in the UK, "Seasons greetings to all of you in the States." 

Do Not Work For Mike Metropolis?

Watchout writes:

MIKE METROPOLIS, DIRECTOR FOR SMASH AND DEVIL'S FILMS HAS BEEN BOUNCING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF CHECKS ON TALENT FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS. METROPOLIS HAS A LONG DRUGGIE REPUTATION AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT HAS FINALLY TAKEN HIM OVER. HIS "GONZO SHOOTS" ARE TAKING LONGER TO SHOOT THAN FEATURES BECAUSE HE IS SO OUT OF IT. IT IS RUMORED THAT HE IS SO FAR BEHIND IN DEBTS FROM BOUNCED CHECKS TO TALENT THAT HE IS USING HIS CURRENT BUDGETS TO PAY OFF PAST DEBTS. SEVERAL TALENT ARE THREATENING TO TAKE HIM TO COURT AND HAVE HIM ARRESTED FOR THE FELONY OF WRITING BAD CHECKS. SOME OF THE DEBTS HE OWES TO TALENT ARE SO OLD THAT THE MOVIES ARE ALREADY BEING SOLD ON THE SHELF WITHOUT THE TALENT HAVING BEEN PAID AT ALL!! THAT'S f---ED UP!! WHAT A f---ING ASSHOLE!!! DO NOT WORK FOR MIKE METROPOLIS!!!

Vince Voyeur's True Reason For Leaving Redlight District?

A source writes: "Vince Voyeur's true reason for leaving Red Light was....[Zero Tolerance]. Funny how he said he left RLD because he didn't like the feature-oriented direction the company had taken, after they added Michael Ninn. Most people at RLD are celebrating his departure!"

DaVinci Load Day Two

I don't try to be your comprehensive source for porn news. I do what I do best (and if I can't do that, I just throw up something to keep the site moving). So if you want to read about the Rob Black case, click here. AVN.com, XBiz.com and Adultfyi.com are comprehensive sites. My site is eccentric. You may come for the porn, but you'll stay for the Torah.

I drive to the first day of Jerome Tanner's DaVinci Load Dec. 7 -- and should've been singing:

What a friend I have in Jeff Mullen
All my sins and griefs to bear

Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jeff knows my every weakness;
take it to All Media Play in prayer.

I couldn't believe I'd receive an on-set invite to this big-budget LFP feature after all the nasty things I've written about the company.

Last night, I couldn't get to sleep at all. Last night I got to thinkin' maybe I, I, I Should call you up, Drew Rosenfeld (head of LFP Video) and just forget my foolish pride. I heard your number ringing, I went cold inside And last night I didn't get to sleep at all.

A few seconds after stepping on to the set, I run into the production manager Helen, who turned out to be Jerry T's wife. I figure as soon as she hears my name, I'll be sent home straight to bed without my dinner. But no, I get inside where there is just the lavish catering I have believed in so fervently that I skipped my normally hearty breakfast of fruit smoothie mixed with colon cleanser.

I meet Jerry Tanner for the first time.

"Luke!" he says. "You're the one everyone curses. Or used to."

He laughs.

Everything's going to be ok.

I have entre to the set. I have food and drink. Now all I need are chicks, the younger and hotter the better (within legal and moral limits).

But here comes one more obstacle - a burly guy named Drew.

"Drew Rosenfeld?" I ask.

He nods.

"You're the guy I've been writing nasty things about on my site," I say.

"I've been showing them to my wife and we've been having a good laugh," he says.

Whew.

"So you're not an accountant?" I ask.

"No," he says.

"You've never taken an accounting class?"

"No. I have a calculator on my desk because I'm always running budgets."

I realize that the following admission will strike many of my readers as unethical, but I purposefully did not write about this production until it had wrapped and I didn't need to go back to the set and confront the people I wrote about. I'm chicken that way.

James Deen used to come to sets in grungy sweats, but Mark Yule and Barry Woods made fun of him. So now he dresses up.

Nelson X's script has a girl sucking a dead man's penis. This was missed by everyone at LFP but Larry Flynt who called up Drew Rosenfeld Tuesday night and said, "You can't have that."

I didn't realize Larry read porn scripts and was that deeply involved in the running of his company.

Hailey Page arrived an hour late today and that's set Jerry T back and made him mad.

Jerry's burly assistant tells me, "I'd do anything for Jerry and Helen. If they asked me to break your legs, I'd do it."

He smiles. "They'd never ask me to do that. They're nice people."

Smoking a cigar outside, Jerry yells at Helen for ashtrays. She yells back at him but creates ashtrays made out of aluminum foil a few minutes later.

Jerry tells Evan Stone: "I want you to do one line right."

Hailey: "I need to rinse out."

Jerry: "Didn't you rinse out before?"

Hailey: "Yeah, but I need to do it again."

Barry Wood: "Don't rinse out too much. Evan likes it stinky."

An observer: "You are witnessing art in the making. People wonder how this happens. This is how it happens."

Jerry wants to shoot the sex scene between Evan Stone and Hailey Page on the couch with no covers down.

The home owner, a calm blonde woman in her 50s, says that Jerry's wife Helen agreed there would be no sex on the furniture without a covering.

Owner: "If you put covers on everything. I discussed it with your wife."

Jerry: "Bulls---. I don't recall that being mentioned. I wouldn't be in this location. The couch is 50-years old. I can't f--- on it?"

Jerry hates the house, for which LFP paid $2,000 for the day.

Owner: "Everybody uses covers."

Jerry: "I'm not stupid."

Owner: "If you stain it and you're willing to clean it, that's fine."

Jerry says fine.

Owner: "I spoke to your wife. She said she'd put on covers."

Jerry: "No, no. I know my wife. She doesn't have covers."

Drew Rosenfeld, Helen (who confirms the owner's story) and the home-owner separately try to argue Jerry out of his reckless uncovered vision.

Helen brings towels in. "Jerry, I'm not even going to show these to you," she says. "You won't even see them.

Eventually a compromise is worked out whereby the sex will take place on Evan's clothes and a black towel.

Dec 8.

Missy Monroe teaches a class (filled with unpaid extras) in advanced sexuality, then gets double penetrated on her desk by her students Scott Nails and Steve Holmes (who I did not recognize in his shiny new black hair).

I meet a tatttooed young writer from AVN, Chloe. She's eager to meet the famous Gram Ponante. She asks me if I am Gram Ponante.

No, I fear that I must disappoint her.

An hour later, it is my great privilege to introduce her to the living legend of lyricism.

I'm not worthy to carry Gram's jock strap (not that I want to).

I assure Chloe I won't write about her.

My lips are sealed about the things that happened between us.

I wonder if Mark Kernes would even recognize the kinder, gentler Luke of today, who shines a thousand points of light in Porn Valley?

I chat with Joel Lawrence. His GoldStarModeling.com talent agency will have 50 girls and 10 guys by the end of the year.

Luke: "What made you become an agent?"

Joel: "Age. I don't want to be talent forever. Being an agent has a future."

Joel offers a $500 finders fee for new talent.

He does two scenes a week. "I can only work weekends and nights. I can't do features any more because it takes too much of my time."

Jerry Tanner tells Drew Rosenfeld to include his long shots.

"Just write them in," Drew says.

"They [LFP editors] don't listen to me, so why should I?" says Jerry.

Hailey Page says Nelson X, the screenwriter of DaVinci Load, is the best writer in porn. She says his script is "incendiary."

Hailey: "Nelson, remember that script where I had heroin balloons up my butt and I died? That was my favorite one."

Nelson: "Legend yelled at Jerry about that."

I tell Nelson: "Your parents must be very proud of you."

Nelson: "They're proud that I get up in the morning."

Hailey: "I had a boyfriend a couple of boyfriends back who told me that they didn't put 'gullible' in the dictionary. 'Really?' responded Haily in all seriousness. 'It's such a common word, yet they didn't put it in the dictionary?'"

Yes, she tends to believe everything she's told, which is not a good trait for a porn chick.

Nelson hangs out with a tall guy who I eventually realize is Anthony Petkovich, who I've wanted to meet for a decade (when he was Captain Sid and writing for Hustler Erotic Video Guide). Yet I'm too tired to say more a few words to him.

Somebody who I will not name kept me up all last night doing very bad things (and I don't mean studying the works of atheists and heretics), things I've never done before, things I'd only seen in Max Hardcore movies.

Suffice to say there was no Air Supply playing in the background when things peaked.

Robert writes: "Luke did you get Holly a speculum for Hannukah?"

Fred writes me:

I understand that the finer LA-area jewelry stores are starting to sell platinum speculums as a wonderful gift that a gentleman might want to get for his beloved. It's part of the Max Hardcore line of jewelry which came out last Valentine's day.

Vilnii writes me:

That right there is your unique voice...the voice of an innocent being corrupted by the world, knowing things you were specifically warned not to know, one whose soul has been tickled by porn ....a very intriguing voice in its own right, no need to write like Gram Ponante.

Tori Lane wants to get her ass insured. "So that if it gets blown out, I can collect one point two," she says.

She tires of me photographing her in a bathrobe smoking. She also doesn't like it when I peer in her windows when she's making love to her husband Rick Shameless.

Why must I try to write like Gram Ponante?

When Tori does a scene with a guy she's not interested in, she just looks at the penis and the camera. The more interested she is in the guy, the broader her lens.

Jerry tells Nelson that the hardest dialogue is after sex when the actors can barely talk.

Nelson's script tend to be dialogue and vowel-heavy (such as "priory").

Jerry tells him he won't include his "putrid pussy" comment in the script.

Nelson: "Putrid pussy is an integral part of who I am as an artist. That's my vision."

Jerry: "It's not sexy. This is a sex film."

Using baby wipes, Tori Lane cleans off the white bench upon which she will have sex with Gino. "See! I'm a good whore," says Tori.

Old Raven Touchstone limps around set the past on a cane. She's doing wardrobe. The red hooker outfit Tori's wearing has appeared on numerous magazine covers and in various pornos.

The LFP Studios on Osborne Street in Chatsworth are a clean well-lighted place. There are flowers everywhere. The place smells good. It's filled with happy helpful people intent on making a better world.

Missy Monroe (who's been in every Jerome Tanner shoot the past couple of years) says she spends more money on food than on pot, and she spends $500 a week on pot.

Missy's boyfriend calls her. "I know you're working with Steve Holmes today," he says. "That's ok. He can be your boyfriend for today. But you're coming home to me."

The asian chef knocks on the window outside. Missy says to him, "You cook for me. I let you in."

It's a deal.

Gram Ponante reports:

In one corner a publicist helped out a cub reporter by explaining to her that a FIP is a "fake internal popshot". Cubbie then asked the director, Jerome Tanner, which actor was playing Da Vinci. I felt curmudgeonly and disgusted about feeling curmudgeonly at the same time.

A new reporter from AVN, Chloe, was there. I briefly vented my disenhappinessment that my former employer has blocked me from commenting on their blog. I only wanted to tell them that I forgave them, and it's OK. But I guess they don't feel they deserve my forgiveness in the form of a validated Typekey identity.

AVN Editor Mike Ramone responds to Gram and Tod Hunter:

Don’t Flatter Yourselves, Fellas

A pair of ex-AVN types whose post-AVN careers in part consist of (ex-AVNer #1) bashing and (ex-AVNer #2) more deftly needling their former employer, are both complaining on their respective sites all-self-important-like that we have blocked them from commenting on this here blog in violation of their First Amendment rights. Hate to burst your balloons guys, but that just tain't so. The truth of the matter is that the comment function has simply been inoperable across the board for the past week or so, but should be up and running again any minute now. I know you've both been waiting with bated breath, so you may now both exhale.

Gene Ross reports:

LFP Studios in [Chatsworth] is this labyrynth of long hallways, sharp turns and loads of interesting rooms. And, like the Roman catacombs, you never know what body you're going to run across. Somewhat surprising, still, is the fact that one of those bodies is director Jerome Tanner. In all my years in the business I've never been on the set of one of Jerry T's movies. Might as well be this one, he says, since Tanner thinks this is one of the best projects he's ever seen come across his desk.