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Thursday, May 5, 2005
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on Lukeisback May 3 Rachel
Kramer Bussell Pics Interview
James DiGiorgio On Top Of Lord
Master Damien
JimmyD writes:
But just like my attitude towards Skeeter and his right to disappear,
I also 100% support Mike Ramone's right to have an alter ego, even if
that alter ego is a Fag/Dom in the guise of Master Lord Damien. Ya see,
I don't remember reading anything in the Constitution that says you
can't be a Fag/Dom if that's what you want to be! And if Mike Ramone,
a.k.a. Master Lord Damien, is a Fag/Dom I support him in his right to
be one.
Let me also mention that, because I happen to believe that Mr. Ramone
is a fair and impartial journalist, I don' t think--for one second--that
his Fag/Dom alter ego could or would have any influence on his ability
to write and/or edit fair and impartial porn reviews; not even heterosexual
porn reviews! And I especially don't think that AVN Editor Mike Ramone,
nor Fag/Dom Master Lord Damien, would give any sort of special consideration
to B/G scenes or B/B/G scenes or any variation or combination of the
letters "B" and "G" to describe heterosexual porn scenes that include
particularly brutal anal sex. After all, we all know that anal sex--brutal
or otherwise--is a WAY more typical heterosexual activity than it is
a typical homosexual activity.
Randy Kaplan aka Rich Leather aka Jack Pointe Says Goodbye
To Posting On His Favorite Prostitution List FunWithPSES
Randy aka Rich aka JP writes:
I'll probably still visit and read the contributions from the good
folks here, but I'm not going to be writing any more posts. (Pause for
gasps of delight and prolonged applause.) You see, I have been informed
by friends that Luke F-rd is now fairly constantly lurking at this group
and quoting posts from here on his site. I have been victimized by Ford's
habits of out-of-context quotations, quoting someone five years after
the fact to portray them as inaccurate today, truncations of quotations
to distort their meanings, unfair juxtapositions of unrelated quotations,
outright lies and distortions, and his tireless efforts to ignite controversies,
as was the case recently when he posted the tribute here that I wrote
on the untimely death of Jim Holliday - which recounted a story which
involved Bill Margold - and he then went to Margold for comments, which
he also posted, without any efforts to ascertain the veracity of Margold's
various slurs or any effort to obtain comments from me. Picture it for
yourself: you write a tribute to a dead friend in a semiprivate forum
with a small audience. You mention another person in the process. That
person then gets to lie about you in a big forum. So now your tribute
to your friend is an occasion for you to be trashed. You can imagine
how pleasant that was! When you consider that in telling my story, I
went out of my way to make clear that I was not telling the story to
slam Margold at all, and that the friendship and the deep emotions that
ran between Margold and Holliday was a moving thing (and you can search
the post in the archives here to see), how much more hurtful do you
think this was?
So, for the record: Bill Margold is wrong when he says that "Rich C.
Leather" was a pseudonym used by many writers at AVN. There certainly
were several such pseudonyms: Harry Manas and Steve Austin (even though
Steve Austin, director, screenwriter, boyhood friend of Paul Fishbein,
is a real person and wrote reviews for AVN for some time, sometimes
under his own name, sometimes under pseudonyms, others used the name
as well) come to mind. Rich C. Leather was my invention (a tribute to
Ricardo Montalban, who I had the pleasure of meeting several times),
and no one else was allowed to use that name. Margold says I "lied"
about being Rich C. Leather; this is also not so. I have explained many
times that I started at AVN as Paul Fishbein's assistant, and in that
role, as well as in my role as Chief Financial Officer of AVN, my primary
job was not to write for the magazine, but to conduct its financial
affairs and part of its client relations with advertisers and producers.
I did not wish for any antagonisms that my reviews might have raised
to interfere with the company's business relationships with its clients,
advertisers, and the companies it covered as a trade journal, so while
I worked at AVN, I kept the fact that I was "Rich C. Leather" a secret,
for this prudent and understandable reason. Once I left the employ of
AVN, and continued for the next few years as a freelance writer for
them (also with the courtesy title of Business Editor, under my "business
articles" pseudonym of, guess what, Jack Point), I immediately revealed
that I was Rich C. Leather and that I was Jack Point (the latter was
never a secret, but I wanted everyone clear that I, and only I, was
the exclusive user of those pseudonyms at AVN). In short, once there
was no "business" reason to keep my pseudonym a secret, I revealed it.
Who calls this "lying"? The lie here is the typical attempt by Margold
to denigrate my role at AVN by saying that I was just another faceless
reviewer. As a reviewer, I was indeed one of many, just like I was one
of some 20 award judges. Whether I was more influential in those roles
than the next reviewer/judge is fair game for anyone to speculate. I
have previously written at length about how I saw my own influence.
As Jack Point, writing business articles about the business in its primary
trade magazine, and as the CFO of the publisher who had some opportunity
to influence the really powerful figures like Paul Fishbein and Gene
Ross, my own impact on the porn biz for that brief period of time was
small but real. I like to think that it was there because I worked hard,
told the truth, and gained a reputation as an honest reporter and a
fair analyst who could be trusted. I have also said that to some extent,
I made a mark because if you use your brain in the porn biz, there ain't
a helluva lot of competition. I think it is perhaps best summed up this
way: any influence I had pretty much dwindled to near zero the day I
stopped working at AVN, because it was entirely derivative from Paul
Fishbein's influence. Once I ceased to speak for him in any way, my
influence, such as it ever was, was gone. As huge as my ego is, I don't
think I've ever tried to suggest otherwise.
Margold also acused me of threatening him in some way by saying I "knew
things about those people" at his XRCO/PAW booth at the CES convention.
This is absurd. First of all, the only thing I know about anyone who
was at Margold's booth is that they were contributing their time and
effort in a good cause, and that most of them were either pornstars,
budding pornstars, or nude models. What, precisely, could I possibly
know about "those people" that would give my any leverage to threaten
anyone? That they were pornstars? That they had sex with people and
got paid for it? Heavens! What next? Must we quote Casablanca about
how we're "shocked, shocked!" to make this point? I seem to recall that
Margold was reputed to push some girls to appear at his booth. Why push?
Because porn girls would rather get paid than volunteer, because porn
girls would rather party than work, is my guess. Did he push them in
any unethical way? Don't be absurd! Even if Margold ever said to someone
- and let me emphasize that I have zero knowledge and zero suspicions
that he ever did, this is a purely hypothetical supposition - "You really
ought to pay me back for all I've done for you by putting in a few hours
at the XRCO booth," or even the more direct "I'm not going to help you
unless you help me," can anyone tell me how I'm going to THREATEN him
with this knowledge? Hey, if Margold had actually ever said those innocuous
things and I somehow "found out", I'd be APPLAUDING him. He did and
does do tons of things for these girls, and it WOULD be the least they
could do to pay him back - although I'm sure he would think of it as
paying the "family" and the cause back. I DO recall this: one year,
I was dating minor pornstar Randi Ravage, and she was my date at the
AVN Awards. She was appearing at Margold's booth, and she wanted me
to meet her there. I thought this was a bad idea, since Margold hated
me because of the review of the Stoller/Levine book, and I asked if
she would meet me elsewhere, like at the AVN booth. She bitched and
moaned, and since finding someone at CES is a pain in the ass, and I
wasn't the one wearing four-inch heels, I agreed to meet her there,
trying to avoid Margold. He accosted me anyway, demanding to know what
I was doing there and what I wanted, and I basically refused to engage
him, not wanting his wrath directed at Randi Ravage. Total exchange
of words, maybe ten, total elapsed time around six seconds. I actually
entered the next booth and feigned interest in the very large-breasted
but spectacularly ugly Zoryna Dreams to convince Margold I had no business
at his booth. Randi and I left. End of story. I did NOT call him after
the convention; if anyone at AVN would ever suggest that they needed
me to call Margold for any reason, I would have laughed at them and
said that if you need something from Margold, then you don't want ME
to make the call. Margold isn't any more notably anti-AVN than he is
anti the various and sundry things he's anti, but he is a very busy
man, and in my day, AVN was still over on Venice Blvd. in LA, not in
the valley, and Margold rarely, to my recollection, came to the AVN
offices. On the occasion or two I think I recall him being there, I
absented myself, for the same reason I never called him if I could help
it. The fact of the matter then and now is that Margold was far more
important than I was. If my presence pissed him off, it was my job not
to be present. I can also recall that when Teddi Barrett first came
to LA after we had established our friendship and relationship, she
wanted me to come to Margold's with her, because she was working with
Cannibal (later Anita Cannibal), who was staying at Margold's. I explained
to her that Margold and I did not get along, and that he would likely
be offended by my presence. She insisted, so I called Margold to let
him know I was coming with Teddi. He was a perfect gentleman and welcomed
me into his home/office. It became quickly obvious that Teddi was there
primarily not ot meet Cannibal, but to pick up stuff that belonged to
her, and it seemed to me that she had stayed there at one point and
left the stuff, and that she felt - with no justification that I am
aware of - that Margold would give her a hard time when she came to
pick it up, hence her desire for my presence. (Pretty silly, if you
ask me - I might outweigh Margold by forty pounds or so, but he's six-four
and in great shape, whereas I am a short fat blob of five-seven who
would hardly make anyone pause.) I found this realization profoundly
embarrassing - frankly, it felt like Teddi was using me to stick a finger
in Margold's eye, and I didn't like it a bit. I called Margold later
to apologize to him if it appeared that way, and to assure him that
I had no knowledge that Teddi was going to do that, and that I didn't
want to imply for even a second that he would behave in a ungentlemanly
fashion toward her or anyone else, or that the presence of another man
was needed for any reason. Let me make this clear - I don't like Margold.
I don't like his tactics, his mania for personal publicity, his unfailing
penchant for identifying himself with the porn biz, and I have always
thought that as one fo the most prominent public faces of the porn biz
for going on thirty years, that for some time now he has done more harm
than good. I've said this to him and to others, publicly, he knows it,
and I'm hardly the first or the most prominent Margold opponent. But
Margold's kindnesses to the working people of the biz is simply legendary.
I don't know of a single instance of anyone ever suggesting that Margold
ever acted improperly with an actress whom he met or helped, and frankly
I wouldn't believe it if I heard it. Margold and I share one characteristic
- a massive ego - and one very admirable part of his ego is tied up
in the very real self-image that he helps people unselfishly. He wouldn't
risk that or give it away to exercise undue influence on anyone. Margold
is an incredibly obnoxious bully - but he only bullies two kinds of
people: one, those whom he perceives as equals or as more powerful;
and two, those whom he perceives as attacking him. Margold doesn't believe
in tit for tat - if he thinks you've given him tit, he'll try to tat
your teeth down your throat. Incidentally, while I think this is frequently
tactically unwise, I also think this is a pretty admirable trait. But
I won't just stand by while Margold tries to bully me with half-truths
and untruths about events from years ago.
So that is the entire story of me and Margold, and my LAST response
to any of this. Life is too short to risk being victimized, misquoted,
and quoted out of context by Luke F-rd, or trampled by Margold at Ford's
behest. As I have noted any number of times, my current knowledge of
porn and porn actresses is virtually nil - so I think I've pretty much
made my contribution. I don't need the s--- any more. So, my thanks
to Ed, and to all of you, and happy hunting to you all.
Sunny
Leone Newest Vivid Girl
My old interview with her.
Alex
Divine Interview
I met Alex
Divine (she stands 5'1") at Porn
Star Karaoke Tuesday night, May 3.
We talk by phone Wednesday night, May 4. She talks about famous rappers
(T-Real) at the party.
Duke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew
up?"
Alex: "I decided to be a nurse. I had some medical problems as a
child. I was in the hospital and I just loved the nurses.
"I had three major surgeries. I had to stay at the hospital for
about a week [each time]. There were a lot of kids in the hospital who
weren't able to leave. I was lucky."
Alex has never met her father. Her mother never married. "My family
compensated for [the lack of a father]. Lots of hugs."
Duke: "How do you think that has affected you?"
Alex: "I don't think it has. It made me cherish my mom more."
Duke: "What type of men have you found yourself attracted to?"
Alex: "I hadn't dated Caucasian guys until recently [instead dated
Middle-Eastern guys such as Persians]. Now I just go for anybody who is
physical and likes to hug. I like a lot of attention and to have somebody
treat me like a little princess."
Alex is half-Hawaiin, a quarter Hawaiin and a quarter Slovakian. "I
was looking for something different than me. Exotic."
Alex grew up in Orange County. "I was a nerd [in highschool]. I
wasn't too popular. I hung out with some kids who were on the swim team
with me. I hung out with some kids who were in the drama class with me.
And the choir. And my church friends."
Duke: "Did you sing any songs last night?"
Alex: "No, I didn't. I get shy in front of people.
"I haven't taken vocal lessons in so long. I don't know how in tune
I would be. I can see embarrassing myself. But everyone else is embarrassing
themselves. I am my own worse critic. I'm too embarrassed to even sing
in the shower now.
"I went to [Southern Baptist] church three times a week. I went
to Bible study. I did church choir. I babysat for my church."
Duke: "No drinking and smoking."
Alex: "No. That harms your body, which is a temple [of G-d according
to a New Testament verse]."
Duke: "How did you like your Christian upbringing?"
Alex: "It instilled a good set of values in me, even though I do
porn now. It taught me to be more appreciative. It was good to bring somebody
up in that, but when they are old enough to be an adult, they can make
their own decisions.
"I haven't been to church since I graduated highschool [almost five
years ago]. I got so busy with my life that it just deteriorated. I just
haven't had a drive to go back to it. Once I started doing porn, I figured
that the second I walked through the church door, I'd melt."
Duke: "What were you expected to become?"
Alex: "My family wanted me to become anything but what I am now.
Anything else.
"I'm me. This is what I am."
Duke: "How far did you progress towards your nursing?"
Alex: "I'm still taking classes online. I haven't made any active
movement to pursue it because I'm pretty happy right now. I'm always leaving
that door open, the possibility of that career in the future. If I want
to go back [to college], it's all paid for [by her porn earnings]."
Alex lost her virginity at 17. "It was with my manager at McDonalds.
He was my boyfriend. We had been together for three months. I snuck out
of my house. He let me into McDonalds. I lost my virginity downstairs
in the crew room.
"It was exhilirating. We had to be real quiet because people were
working upstairs. It hurt because it was my first time, but aside from
that, it was cool. Not everybody can say they lost their virginity at
McDonalds."
Duke: "How long did you guys stay together after that?"
Alex: "Two months."
Duke: "Then did you become a slut?"
Alex: "Then I started sucking dick more and I loved it. It's been
my favorite thing to do my entire life. I love deepthroating. My last
boyfriend, I used to beg him to let me suck on his dick. I've never had
a gag reflex."
Duke: "If you were with someone you care about, which do you find
more intimate? Oral sex or regular sex?"
Alex: "Oral sex."
Duke: "How did you get into porn?"
Alex: "My friend Cathy, who works at LA Direct Models as an agent,
we were hosts at a restaurant. I needed money. She said, what do you want
to do? I said, 'I can't sell drugs because I'm not that smart. I'd get
caught.' She said, do you want to do porn? I'm like, ok. That was January
2003. I quit my regular job and after that there's no turning point."
Duke: "What do you love and hate about the porn industry?"
Alex: "I love that you can meet all kinds of new people. Everybody's
open. It's just a whole different environment than any other job or meeting
people any other way. What I hate are the stereotypes of porn. When people
find out you do porn, they either love you for it or hate you for it.
"People who love you for it, you can't really trust them because
you don't know what their true motives are."
Duke: "How has it affected your dating life and relationships?"
Alex: "Until I get out of the industry completely, I don't know
if I want to be in a relationship. If I'm dating a male in the industry,
I'll always feel weird about him sleeping with another girl. Guys feel
the same way. There's a fine line between work and play and trying to
figure out where that line is drawn is going to be horrible.
"People who want to date me, when they find out I do porn, they
either want me to quit or to act like a porn star while we're having sex.
The guys say, I want you to f--- me like a porn star. I'm like, you're
not a porn star. You suck. You can't do that.
"They try to get me into reverse cowgirl. What are you doing? 'I
want to ---- your face.' It's horrible.
"I had one person say, 'Oh come on. You do it for a living.'
"It depends on the guy. If he's not in the sex industry, he'll either
treat me like a sex object or worship me more. He wants to make me feel
like I am not a typical porn person."
Duke: "Do they buy your movies?"
Alex: "No. They ask me to bring them to them. 'Can you get me a
copy?' Dude, this is my copy."
Duke: "Have you ever had sex while watching a movie of yourself?"
Alex: "It's hard for me to watch a movie of myself. I can't look
at it."
Alex had a relationship with a male performer. "It was weird. He'd
go, 'I've got to go do my scene.' I'm like, that's what I should be saying.
If we've both done a scene, and we've come home, we don't have sex. We're
tired. Especially if you've done an anal scene that day. You're worn out."
Duke: "How have your friends from childhood reacted?"
Alex: "Some of them are shocked. 'You were a quiet church girl.'
Others say, 'I could've seen that coming.'
"I went to a party [in highschool] and got really drunk and started
making out with my best friend and I went down on her.
"I have a couple of pictures of me from the AVNs on MySpace. Some
of my friends asked, 'What are you wearing that for? What do you do now
for a living?'"
Duke: "How has your time in the industry changed you?"
Alex: "It's made me appreciate my body more. I've learned not to
judge people by their job and by what they look like."
Duke: "What are your ambitions?"
Alex: "I want to save enough money to take time off from doing porn
and finish school completely and get my nursing degree. I want to have
a house and kids.
"I was a horrible student. I scored high on all the state testings
but I didn't like homework. My teachers decided to make our homework 90%
of our grade."
Duke: "Have you learned to settle down and study?"
Alex: "I've tried but it is so hard being 22 and being in the business
and always having the freedom to go out and hang out with your friends.
"Before you called, I was baking peanut butter cookies. I was invited
to go out tonight but I decided to stay home. I don't have just a sweet
tooth. I have an entire mouthfull."
Duke: "What have been some of your high points and low points in
the industry?"
Alex: "One of the high points would be when I started doing anal.
I got so much work I didn't know what to do. I got booked six days in
a row for anal. It was so much fun. I was having a blast.
"My 21st birthday last year. We all hung out. I was drunker than
anything. It was great.
"This year, I signed for Elegant Angel [at AEE]. It was so cool
to walk around and meet new people and sign autographs.
"I had gone the year before but I wasn't signing for anyone. It
was a whole different ballgame."
Duke: "Any low points?"
Alex: "I got heavy for a while. The first five months I started.
I didn't get much work. I had to get a second job, a real job. I was working
at a coffee house. It was weird. I'd say I do porn and then people would
ask me why I was working at a coffee house."
Duke: "How did you lose the weight?"
Alex: "I have a god-brother who is into physical fitness. He'd get
me up in the morning to go running with him."
Duke: "How did you get your porn name?"
Alex: "I used to babysit for a little girl named Alex."
Wearing Nothing But Attitude
Cris writes: "Interesting piece on the accelerating fashion of alt-porn
sites. With the de-erotization of mainstream porn and its degeneration
into plain raincoaters' paradise where they enjoy watching women being
hurt, degraded and humiliated, this trend was bound to take off."
From The NYT:
...BurningAngel.com, one of a handful of erotic Web sites that fetishize
tattoos, piercings and the occasional Bettie Page hairdo along with
the young women who wear them.
Known informally as alt-porn, this genre attempts to embellish pornography
with a hip veneer by offering soft- to hard-core erotica next to interviews
with members of appropriately cool and underground bands. The form first
surfaced in 2001, when the West Coast Web site SuicideGirls began to
offer erotic photos of young women online. Later the site added interviews
of artists and celebrities (from Woody Allen to Natalie Portman to the
current hot band, Bloc Party) and then soft-core videos online. Imitators
like fatalbeauty.com, brokendollz.com and more than a dozen others soon
followed.
Joanna Angel, 24, started BurningAngel in 2002 as a hard-core alternative
to such sites (which limit themselves to nude embraces) with her business
partner, Mitch Fontaine. Now the pair intends to take the form to another
level by producing DVD's; the first, "BurningAngel.com: the Movie,"
was released for sale online on April 1 and sells for $20.
A Woman Deserves To Charge What She Likes
Fast Eddie writes:
A woman in this business, pornstar or not, can charge whatever she
wants to charge... Whether anyone will pay it is another matter entirely.
I know a few Playmates who charge $10K+ for an evening. But the truth
is, they're lucky to get a few bookings a year at that rate. The $1000/hr
PSE will make a LOT more overall that the $10K Playmate.
I remember a couple of years back on one of the escort-malls there
was a French escort who stated her rate at $50,000 a day. We all laugh,
but what the hell, if she just gets ONE rich moron who thinks with his
dick instead of his head, that's not a bad days work. And I'm sure there
are millionaires and sheiks who'd pay that rate just for the bragging
rights. And I think ego plays a big part of it.
Houston always had a high opinion of herself... a few years ago she
was the highest priced pornstar on E2K, commanding $2500/hr. So her
$5K pricetag doesn't surprise me, because as jackpoint has pointed out,
she's a whack-job. She's addicted to plastic surgery,and I'm sure in
her mind everytime she goes under the knife she thinks she's better
looking then before and deserving of more as an escort.
You could probably arrange a whole weekend with Tami Monroe or LeeAnna
Foxxx for that kind of money, and get much better service to boot!
Coral Sands Dancing At T's Lounge In West Palm Beach
VarietyMan writes
4/15:
Saw Coral
Sands tonite. While she may not be my type, she seems to be somewhat
of a marketing genius nonetheless. Over 300 films to date? We weren't
that impressed with the dildo stuff as that turns an otherwise striptease
into a circus. That's my opinion. We never sit at the tip rail as we're
not ready to have a feature lift up or down our shirt to press our chests
together for everyone else to see. That's for the champagne room where
it is usually more intimate. Electra wasn't there, but enjoyed the charming
personalities of Ronni, Mindy (ultra shy) and dancing from Talia. IF
the features are duds then leave. There's bound to be somebody you won't
like.
WOULD THE REAL KURT
LOCKWOOD PLEASE STAND UP?
Jason Sechrest writes:
Award winning straight male porn star Kurt
Lockwood is pissed! People have been posting under his
name on various message boards, stirring s--- regarding Wankus's
gig hosting the upcoming XRCO Awards. Remember way
back when Wankus pulled a Liz Taylor and Eddie
Fisher'd Tyler
Faith away so Kurt went a little bit Mariah?
Well, now it's all Eminem and Moby
again because of some Shar Jackson posting like they're
really somebody. Do you follow? Oh well, it's really not all that interesting
anyway, trust me. One thing I have learned from this though, I am not
going to believe anyone is the real Kurt Lockwood. Even if he's in person,
I'm going to insist I see his cock to prove it's really him. Because
you never know! I don't want him coming back later, telling me it was
a shape shifter or a body snatcher and that I should've checked the
IP address.
Tom
Hymes To FSC
CHATSWORTH, Calif. - Fresh from his exit from AVN Online, former Editor
Tom Hymes has been named communications director for the Free Speech
Coalition.
Kym Wilde Suing Redboard Productions
She was with the company for many years. She co-habited, perhaps was
married, with Redboard founder/owner & former hardcore director "Duck
Dumont," since the start of the company; they got it off the ground together.
Porn Star Karaoke
Jack
Lawrence Jack,
Annie Cruz, Joe Friday Brianna
Beach Brianna,
Michael Fierce Brianna,
Michael Brianna,
Michael Devon
Savage Tiana
Lynn Angie
Savage, Corey Jordan on right Angie
Savage Angie
Gonzo
Black Gonzo
Black Tiana,
Gonzo Angie
Civilian
girl girl
girl
Cytherea
Cytherea
Cytherea
Angie,
Tiana Angie
Angie
Shay
Sights Charisee,
Flower Tucci Flower,
April Storm Flower,
April Corey
Jordan Monstar
Monstar
Tiana,
Angie, Devon Alex
Divine Alex
Divine
Jack
Lawrence, in a blond wig, is the first person I see. He's teaming
up with his wife Annie Cruz, Joe Friday and Ray Leone to do DogThePussyHunter.com,
a spoof on Dog the Bounty Hunter TV show.
Jack, Joe and Annie came tonight to shoot their first scene but they
stopped when they saw the LAPD car pull up in front of Sardos.
Jack: "We got after girls who no-show (in theory) on sets and we
hunt them down and we ---- them."
Duke: "How many scenes have you shot?"
Jack: "Zero. We were just shooting our first scene. We chased down
Annie when the police rolled up.
"Our goal is to make a website where you don't know whether you
should jack off or laugh."
Brianna has been in the biz for over two years, appearing in more than
100 scenes. This is her first trip to LA.
Duke: "Why did you get into the industry?"
Brianna: "My ex-fiance and I were swingers. We got used to performing
in front of people and thought, why shouldn't we get paid for this?"
Duke: "How does it affect your relationships?"
Brianna: "I don't date anyone not in the industry. My boyfriend
and I have been together seven months. We work with other people."
His name is Tom "Eli" Ely and he owns www.alternativemodeling.com.
He's also a performer.
"As a kid, I was always into touch and dance."
She grew up in Ohio. "I was quiet girl. I was a band geek. I played
my flute."
Duke: "What were you expected to become?"
Brianna: "A psychologist. I majored in psychology, art, and dance...
Most people don't see us as educated."
Monstar
writes on XPT: "I tried to get Luke to duet with me on some Air
Supply @ Porn Star Karaoke but he wasn't having it."
I
didn't realize the guy talking to me about the Air Supply duet was the
legendary Monstar.
Charlotte: Porn hub for the nation?
Andrew
Shain writes for the Charlotte Observer (free registration required):
AEBN doesn't produce porn. Instead the company sells movies made by
others, such as Playboy and porn giant Vivid Entertainment, to view
over the Web on streaming video. And now it will send clips to mobile
phones.
"We're more of a technical company," said AEBN President and founder
Scott Coffman, who got into porn after failed bids to write cartoon
books and create a cell phone directory.
AEBN, which stands for Adult Entertainment Broadcast Network, is poised
to lead a major shift in the adult-movie industry. Online video-on-demand
sales could supplant DVD and videotape sales within three years, an
industry observer said.
Few people outside the adult industry probably have heard of AEBN,
but the 5-year-old company employs about the same number of people as
a department store (125) and generates roughly the revenue of a regional
restaurant chain ($50 million).
Behind AEBN's vanilla exterior and darkened windows is a labyrinth
of brightly painted hallways connecting offices with employees -- about
one-third of them women -- managing thousands of Web sites, writing
movie descriptions, luring more filmmakers and handling customer-service
questions from 2 million accounts worldwide.
Online video-on-demand accounted for 10 percent of movie sales in 2001
and should rise to 25 percent this year, said Luke F-rd, a California
journalist who follows the adult industry. People buy about $500 million
a year in online video-on-demand movies.
Coffman figures his company holds about 75 percent of all U.S. online
adult video-on-demand distribution, a figure not disputed by industry
observers. AEBN dominates because of an unusual trait in the adult business
-- it's honest, three experts said.
"They're actually a pretty colorless company, but they're known for
doing what they say, which is rare in the industry," Ford said. "Maybe
there's something about the South."
They also offer a mountain of films. AEBN handles 30,000 titles from
850 filmmakers -- enough movies to watch one every night for 82 years.
"They've cornered the market by stockpiling a lot of content" that
content covers a huge spectrum of fantasies and fetishes, said Kevin
Blatt, an Internet porn consultant who helped publicize a Paris Hilton
sex video.
The movies are offered on 200 company-owned Web sites and 30,000 online
storefronts that AEBN runs for others.
Platinum Blue
Nick Manning and Sky Blue are forming a company called Platinum Blue.
Manning put up over $100,000. They've got cable deals. They're going to
start releasing product at the end of June.
Kurt Lockwood Calls Out "Skankus"
Kurt wants the feud
to end.
Gene Ross Reports On Skeeter Kerkove
Gene Ross writes
on Adultfyi:
Skeeter Kerkove has disappeared. He hasn't been picking up his phone
for days and people that are doing business with him haven't heard from
Skeeter, either. A story I'm hearing is that Skeeter sold his car and
house and has dropped out of sight. Another story is that he supposedly
suffered a nervous breakdown or near to one. KSEX has also been trying
to contact Skeeter to get him on a show but hasn't received any return
phone calls; and all e-mails have, likewise, been returned. I've spoken
to R Dog who's the lighting guy on all Skeeter's shoots. He hasn't heard
from Skeeter, either, and got a voice message, just as I did last week
from Skeeter's mother stating that a shoot was being cancelled because
Skeeter was "sick".
Gene updates:
"Last night I spoke to Skeeter Kerkove's mother Carol. Skeeter hasn't
sold his house or car contrary to some of the stories I've been hearing.
I was given other information which for now is on the QT."
Lorraine
writes on ADT: "I don't want to be too cruel or insensitive and
I certainly hope Skeeter hasn't come to any physical harm, but has anyone
checked the most obvious place, where the 47 golf balls, the frying pan,
the pool table and the vast and inumerable toys are stored? Bridgette,
be love and bend over..."
Skeeter
Kerkove - Registered Sex Offender
His offense? "SEXUAL PENETRATION WITH FOREIGN OBJECT BY FORCE."
His real name is Arland
Dale Kerkove.
One employer of Skeeter's comments: "Come on Luke, give me a break,
registered sex offenders make the best porn."
DAISY DEAN SCREWED THE SHOOT DAY
Ducati Productions
posts on Pornstarperformance.com:
We had Daisy Dean booked for two shoots today. Called her last night
to confirm and she said everything was ok. A couple hours before the
shoot today she calls and says she has no ID and no test, and no transportation
which she already knew about when she confirmed and didnt say anything
about it.
We had earlier posted our experiences with Christina Agave of having
done a good job and with no problems which was our experience with her.
She has since been flaking on SEVERAL producers including Stoney Curtis
and Craven Moorehead who booked her on our recomendation and making
us look bad.
We take back the recommendation and suggest you not deal with her.
We have no idea what her problem is.
Mike Albo: 'Dude,
You're A Fag'
Mike
writes on Adultstarsnews.com:
Dude, you're a fag.
Maybe you should take up Jason Sechrest on his offer to squire you
around the gay clubs. Find your true self during your sojourn. Sechrest
seems perfectly happy with his life. Perhaps you could find some measure
of self-acceptance as well.
Maybe give Lord Master Damien
a call. You two seem like the perfect fit. Just be sure to have more
than one mirror around. It wouldn't do for the two of you to have a
falling out over primping rights so early in your courtship.
Then again, if you don't want to make the full-on fruit walk, maybe
you could try to hook up with that "runaway bride" chick from Georgia.
For some reason, I imagine she has every recording ever made by Air
Supply. And, from what we're hearing, she has "issues" with her sexual
identity too.
Are
You Ready For The Ulimate Houston Porn Star Experience?
Can you handle a private one-on-one encounter with me? We can meet
in Las Vegas or at your location. Rates start at $5,000 plus travel
expenses.
Fred is Houston's manager.
I call an ex-boyfriend of Houston and share the news. "Are you kidding
me?" he says. "So she's hooking after she told me she's been
doing real estate. That's why I don't talk to her. She's crazy."
JP writes:
Of COURSE she's crazy - something I concluded somewhere around her
eighth or ninth plastic surgery nightmare. She passed Melanie Griffith-land
awhile back and is headed toward Tabitha Stevens/Michale Jackson/Jocelyn
Wildenstein no-longer-quite-human territory. Besides, between the world-record
gang-bangs, the high school prom dates, and a drugged-out demeanor rivaling
Anna Nicole Smith, Houston is the poster way-past-child for negative
porn image behavior.
She was, at one time, just gorgeous - but never particularly sexy,
and never a good performer. Who would want to f--- her? I'd sooner f---
Christina Aguilera - and she may be the skankiest-looking bitch in history!
C4
goes X-rated for film history
Channel 4 is to broadcast some of the most controversial sex scenes
on television with a new commission from ITN-owned production arm Visual
Voodoo. The 90-minute programme, X-rated: The Sex Films They Tried to
Ban, is being lined up for a Sunday night slot in the spring. It will
look at sex films and pornography from early French films through to
1970s films to the "hardcore revolution". The programme will be directed
by Simon George and produced by Toby Dye. It was commissioned by C4
editor, factual entertainment, Andrew MacKenzie, and follows on from
the Visual Voodoo commission X Rated: the Pop Vidoes They Tried to Ban.
TV producer Toby Dye gives an R-rated look at the history of sex on film.
1896
French film French
film stag
film John
Mortimer 1950s
nudist film Black
Mass stag film 1954's
Garden of Eden modern
nudist couple Tracey
Cox Father
in Garden of Eden Father
finds he's in a nudist colony I
Am Curious Yellow's famous topless carrot-munching scene Robin
Askwith Lasse
Braun Jessica
Stevenson 1950s
British nudist film - healthy and wholesome David
Friedman's 1959 Adventures of Lucky Pierre David
Friedman Erica
Gavin (?) in Russ Meyer's 1968 film Vixen Erica
Gavin Vixen
lesbianism NY
World Theater owner after judge's ruling stops Deep Throat Marilyn
Chambers Marilyn
Chambers in Behind the Green Door Marilyn,
Ivory Snow box girl Robin
Askwith Mary
Millington 1970s
Brit film censor John Trevalyan Come
Play With Me, Britain's highest grossing sex comedy Robin
Askwith Robin
Robin's
screen partner Sue
Longhurst today Sue
Longhurst then Robin,
Sue Robin
Askwith Mary
Whitehouse Mary's
1971 Festival of Light campaign rally Porn
baron David Sullivan in the 1970s Mary
Millington Mary
Millington Come
Play With Me Mary
stars in Brit lesbian romping Mary
Millington Mary
Millington Mary
David
Sullivan today Mary
Whitehouse and hubby (?) Mary
Millington Mary
Millington Traci
Lords Traci
Lords Traci
Lords Eric
Edwards plays the doctor in Caught From Behind 2 Paul
Thomas Tommy
Lee Pamela
Lee Margo
Stilley of British porn flick Nine Songs Kevin
Blatt Jonathan
Silverstein Jack
Osbourne Paris
Hilton, Rick Salomon Rick
Salomon Paris
Hilton Marilyn
Monroe ringer in Apple Knockers and Coke Liz
Bonnin
Barrister and author
John Mortimer: "I think the British attitude to sex is to see
it, goggle at it, and then condemn it."
Sexpert Tracey Cox:
"Most people won't see real people have sex in the whole of their
lives."
Ben Dover:
"It's a car crash thing. You just have to look at it."
Retired
FBI agent Bill Kelly: "Pornographers are like vermin. We will
always have them with us. It's a question of prosecuting the worst offenders."
Marilyn
Chambers: "I was arrested. I was taken to jail naked. I was allowed
to put my fur coat on. Then, when I got there, in the holding tank, all
of the cops came in and wanted a Polaroid picture of me."
Jack Osbourne, son of Ozzy,
makes a lot of comments.
Narrator: "A few months after the movie camera was invented, the
sex film was born, and unsurprisingly it was the randy old French..."
There's 1896 footage of a topless woman brushing her hair.
Jessica
Stevenson, actress: "One of the main pleasures of pornography
is just looking at the female form."
Porn film historian David
McGillivray on the first stag films: "There were no taboos at
all.... Men with animals."
Footage from Le Canard plays. A man sits down with wild fowl. "So
shocking is this film is that it can't be screened legally anywhere in
the Western world.
"French stag film makers went out of their way to offend as many
authority figures as possible [particularly the Roman Catholic church]."
Jack: "We're not only going to have sex on film, but we're going
to get the Devil involved."
Footage plays of Black
Mass (1923).
Footage plays of Apple,
Knockers and Coke. The model looks like Marilyn Monroe.
Narrator: "The studios attempted to bury any evidence that it existed."
Al Goldstein: "Marilyn Monroe f----- her way to the top. The casting
couch."
John Landis: "That
was not Marilyn Monroe. It was a stripper. It's a lovely film with the
Coke bottle. It's quite sweet but it's not Marilyn Monroe."
The discussion moves to the nudist films of 1950s. "They [theaters]
would be packed with men looking at naked women playing volleyball. These
were not aficionados of volleyball. They wanted to look at tits and ass."
David: "People realized that if you made films about naturism, which
was healthy, you could give men pictures of naked women."
Garden of Eden was
the first (1955).
Narrator: "Garden of Eden was an innocent tale of one woman's introduction
to the wonderful carefree world of nudism, where, after witnessing such
sights as semi-naked buffets, the joys of unencumbered water sports, and
the bond between God's creatures at one with nature, she would come to
the Eureka realization that..."
Nudists Jane and Andrew Flux: "Naturism is a way of life in harmony
with nature. It's a feeling of being liberated, open and free with yourself."
Narrator: "After being reassured that there was nothing remotely
immoral with nudism, she sheds the unnecessary burden of clothing in a
scene the filmmakers milked for all its worth.
"Granting the moral fury that nudity would immediately cause, the
filmmakers introduced a father figure who would have the same moral concerns
that any upstanding American would when he unwittingly realizes that his
daughter is hanging out in a nudist colony."
Jack: "There's this guy hanging out in the dock and he's like, 'Hey
Frank, isn't it a wonderful morning?' Then he walks past the guy and you
see this old ass. Ehhh."
That's when the father first realizes he is in a nudist colony.
Kevin Blatt: "Everybody is jumping and frolicking in the water.
It's not every day you get to see these chubby old guys smoking pipes
on boats."
Sexpert Tracey Cox: "The father-in-law accepts nudity and suddenly
all of Britain accepts it."
The floodgates opened. But no pubic hair was allowed until 1966 in mainstream
films.
Tracey: "To get sex on screen, we would have to look to the Europeans."
Footage plays of the black-and-white I
Am Curious Yellow (1968).
Narrator: "Filled with casual sex and bizarre topless carrot-munching
scenes...it shot to worldwide notoriety.
"It had lofty politicals aspirations with the young heroine Lena
protesting about anything she could think of. However, she was easily
distracted when it came to sex. In this scene, the conversation meanders
from politics to preferred methods of self-abuse."
Luke F-rd: "It's not erotic. It's got all this political mumbo-jumbo
which makes no sense."
Nevertheless, after sitting through 39-minutes of cold political theorizing,
[simulated sex]... The film's truly controversial scene of oral sex was
shot in daring close-up.
It couldn't get through customs in Britain.
Ben Dover, at 14, sat through an edited version. "We stuck through
it thinking we were going to see a bit of naughtiness, but sadly not."
Footage plays of W.R.
Mysteries of the Organism (1971) about pioneering sex researcher Wilheim
Reich. "Come lovers. For health's sake, f--- freely." It reached
British cinema screens uncut.
Jessica
Stevenson, actress: "There doesn't seem to be any apparent reason
why they're having orgasms. You just see these women in sixties bikinis
having orgasms while doctors stand over them."
More on Jessica.
The film showed the first erection -- an old hippie woman takes a plaster
cast of a guy's woody.
Robin Askwith: "'Oh. That's an erection,' my girlfriend said."
Narrator: "Throw in some long words, and some documentary footage
about an obscure scientist, and the censors would be baffled into submission."
British censor Peter Johnson: "It was a film about ideas which was
challenging the audience to think about various things including sex and
it was felt at the time that using a shot of the erect penis was suitable
way to do that."
N: Lasse Braun gave his loops elaborate sets and costumes. While technically
advanced for the time, Lasse's grasp of the plot line left a lot to be
desired.
Ed Byrne comedian: "A man sees two lesbians, he goes, ah, two lesbians,
they'd like a bit of cock, then."
N: With perfect porn logic, a graphically filmed gangbang ensues.
Liz
Bonnin, film critic and TV presenter: "How totally and utterly
offensive was that piece of film."
N: "Whilst no cinema in their right mind would dare screen Lasse's
utterly obscene but beautifully shot fantasies, he would come up with
a new invention that would bypass the cinemas for good [peep shows].
"For many, their first glimpse of Denmark's sexual revolution was
hairy Vikings in a dirty old booth."
Luke: "To me, it was the first time, in one of those filthy... Gives
me the whilies to remember how disgusting it was."
Bill Kelly: "In January 1972, there was a negligible amount of commercial
obscenity in the United States. All we had were those little 8mm films.
"Suddenly the avalance descends as a result of Deep Throat hitting
the streets."
Liz Bonnin: "In Europe, politics and idealism drove the development
of sex in film while in America it was all about money."
N: David Friedman's film Starlet showed both the disgraceful behavior
and the disastrous consequences of disgraceful behavior.
David Friedman: "The funny thing about it was that it worked. In
a lot of towns, the censorship board would say, oh, these people are serious.
They're on a crusade. This picture's ok."
By the late 1960s, Friedman's pictures were playing in over 300 drive-in
theaters.
Russ Meyer's 1968 film Vixen the most controversial sex film of all.
Erica Gavin:
"It was incest, infidelity..."
It features America's first explicit lesbian film. In previous films,
lesbianism was treated as a borderline mental illness. Meyer showed it
as fun.
Vixen had a notorious incest scene.
Sister: "I believe baby brother is all excited and he's afraid to
do anything about it."
Brother: "I know what to do if I wanted to."
Sister: "I dare you, baby."
The brother attacks her and they consumate their love.
The incest scene is extended to epic proportions, going from the bathroom
to the bedroom.
Sister: "Come on baby brother, show me how good you are."
Erica Gavin says she was never naked from the waist down. Yet it is still
banned in Ohio.
Bill Kelly about Linda Lovelace: "She did worse than Deep Throat.
I have seen the film involved and sent it to the FBI laboratory. It involved
dogs."
N: "Unable to witness such suffering [Linda Lovelace having her
clitoris in her throat], Dr. Young [Harry Reems] relieves himself of his
trousers and every ethic he was taught at medical school."
Bill: "That's a ridiculous message to give in any society."
Describing her decision to star in Behind the Green Door, Marilyn Chambers
says: "I decided to sign my life away.
"The whole time [she's filming], I'm thinking, what are my parents
going to say? They're going to kill me."
British 1970s censor John Trevelyan: "While simulation will be accepted,
actuality will not."
In 1974, America's Columbia Pictures spotted a gap in the sex-starved
UK market and produced Confessions
of a Window Cleaner [rated X but contained no actual sex], starring
Robin Askwith.
Liz Bonnin: "Window Cleaner is a harmless bit of fun. It was bad
comedy with a couple of boobs thrown in."
Actress Sue Longhurst: "I always had my knickers on. And the shot
of Robin's bum? I wasn't under that."
David: "If you wanted to take your kids to the pictures in the 1970s,
it was hard to find anything that didn't have Robin Asquith dropping his
pants."
August 17, 1979, British porn star Mary
Millington committed suicide. The sex shops of her boyfriend David
Sullivan, porn baron, closed for a few hours in her memory.
British anti-porn
crusader Mary Whitehouse dies.
Veronica Hart on the Traci Lords underage bust: "They only way that
everybody [in porn] didn't fry for it was that she fooled the government.
She had a passport with a fake age on it."
Jessica: "Caught From Behind 2 is about a doctor [played by Eric
Edwards] who tries to cure his female patients from a fear of anal sex
by having anal sex with them. He is actually a very good actor."
N: But the LAPD didn't think so...and took everyone to the county jail.
Ron Jeremy: "They were trying arrest me at the same time they were
watching the World Series."
Ginger Lynn: "It's gone from magical to big business. It's cold,
hard and dirty. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."
In 2000, Britain legalized hardcore.
Rick Salomon: "Home-made tape. Boring. I'd been hitting the same
girl for a while. Wanted to do something to spice it up."
Mason's First Hustler Scene Features Taryn Thomas
AC
Cream writes on ADT:
Mason comes out "GUNS Blazing" with the 1st scene she has shot for
Hustler. Many might have assumed Mason would pick the usual suspects
for her first Hustler scenes, but Mason goes and finds a young up and
cummer named Taryn Thomas. Taryn is absolutely beautiful. Mason paired
Taryn up with Dennis Marti(who I hear is a very solid performer). Taryn
Thomas' good looks + Dennis Marti's performing ability + Mason's directorial
skills = 1 scene you won't want to miss.
Mason writes on ADT:
Taryn was such a pleasure to work with. She is truly stunning. I think
the pairing with Denis went very well, because I know she came several
times during the scene. At one point, I watched her eyes roll back into
her head. Absolutely, beautiful. This was a very special scene for me,
unlike anything I have ever shot before. Very mimimalistic, and dare
I say, downright romantic?
Taryn Thomas writes on ADT:
I do enjoy being smaked around a little here and there and I can also
take it. I like hard ruff sex. But I also like to be very passionate
during my scenes. As this scene I shot was. I loved it!
Missy Monroe Turns Brunette
Mason,
Katja Kassin, Melissa Lauren join the ADT thread.
"Family Business" T.V. show question
M_Burlock
writes on ADT: "How realistic is it in its portrayal of the adult
entertainment industry?"
Director David Aaron Clark responds:
It's very realistic in some aspects, though it ignores all the (venereal)
warts ... though that recent B.S. with aspiring male talent being forced
to jerk off to orgasm in a conference room in front of a panel of people
was absolutely unheard of in my experience ... also, if you're paying
attention, quite alot of the situations are total set-ups for "dramatic"
or "humorous" interest -- like Chinese TS Allenina showing up for a
shoot where neither the shooter nor the male talent knows her gender
status -- lol.
It really is more a portrait of a family than an industry, though not
as well-done (or interesting) as the one last year about the family
of bail bondsmen ...
AVN's Attitude To Men In Porn
Arthur
writes on ADT:
I was reading the May issue of Adult Video News on the web and there
was a cover article on The Men In Porn. Rather than showing an attractive
man on the cover, there was a woman over whom was superimposed tiny
snapshots of mens' upper torsos. I was disgusted. You'd think Adult
Video News might at least have put a good looking man on the whole cover.
I think it shows that Adult Video News is homophobic - it's my view
that they don't want to put anything that is male-related on the cover
just in case it suggests homoeroticism. This is truly a pathetic attitude
on the part of Adult Video News. Moreover, where was the coverage of
the men in gay porn? There was zilch. Need I say more as to the perceived
homophobia of Adult Video News?
RLD Fiend responds: "Really now, how many couples of copies of the
May AVN would fly off the newsstands with Tony T. or Brian Surewood posing
seductively on the cover?"
Arthur writes: "Tony T or Brian Surewood might not sell but Julian
or Dale DaBone sure would. Let me stress again: the cover article was
The Men In Porn, not The Women in Porn."
Croy writes:
But the only person I have heard voice such a perception is you and
you have made your views quite clear. You also think everything shows
AVN is homophobic, from their award ceremonies to their choise of ink.
If it disturbs their readership enough, then their sales will go down.
If enough of the potential market for their magazine doesn't care or
doesn't see that this issue exists, then they stay alive. Have you once
shown that a significant percentage of the market for straight porn
in fact wants to see male bi-sexuality? If not, this is not an issue
for them. Have you once tried to answer a post that questions your point
or do you only repeat yourself ad naseum?
Wankus To Host XRCO Awards
He
writes on the AVN blog:
Lotta love in this room. Relax folks. The purpose of the event is to
reward the entertainers in adult who worked their assed off literally
over the last year. Just because some of you have unneeded grudges against
the host, it's still gonna be a party. Like me or no, I'm a host for
a living. Not just KSEX but all around the country at live events. Go,
have fun and know that it's still gonna be fun for you Wankus haters
and most of you will be too drunk to even realize I was even there.
Kurt - Stop making childish public threats. One more time you choose
an inappropriote venue to chase your ridiculous hatred of a guy who
did nothing to wrong you. If you really want to scrap just because you
can't stand my existance, you know where to find me, alone, nightly.
If you need your "posse" and you need it to be public, you're obviously
are more starved for attention then I am. I highly recommend you leave
any physical altercation out of your thought process. If you really
think you're going to come out ahead after swinging at me, your more
stupid then Tyler tells me you are!
Kurt Lockwood responds:
This is the REAL KURT LOCKWOOD here. See, this is the f---ing danger
of you internet twits deciding to make this board anonymous registration.
Some asshole lies and posts as me (probably Skankus since he loves to
post under other names and create drama because up until now I haven't
responded to his bulls---) and other anonymous haters come out of the
woodwork. Check the IP address. It ain't me. I don't even update my
journal anymore. Learn to question s---, Jesus! First of all, you really
can't believe everything you read, esp. anonymously posted s--- on the
net (you have to consider the sources AND their motives,) and second
of all, if you post hateful s--- anonymously on the web you are a CHICKEN
s--- LOSER! If you can't have the balls to say who you REALLY are then
SHUT THE f--- UP you coward hater. No, I ain't goin' to the XRCO Awards
but it's because I ain't nominated. Plain and simple. Plus, after Wicked
bought the rights last year AND subsequently won everything...well,
I don't think it's all on the up and up quite frankly. As for the threats
and attacks on me from all you internet haters...boring, boring, boring.
As for you Skankus, as far as I am concerned the matter has been over
for months. I proved my point. I haven't said anything or done anything
since because I showed you for who you really were already. Why bother?
As for us fighting in the future? Well, "tough guy," like BIG PUN said,
"You ain't even in me classa." Don't kid yourself. So remember,like
Li'l John said, "Don't start no s--- and there won't be no s---." Translation:
keep my name out of your f---in' mouth, stop obsessing over me, stop
talking and writing about me and move on and we ain't got no problem.
End of story. Stop trying to use my name to get yourself press, capiche?
Oh, and I think I'll pass on your invitation to meet with you at your
house at night alone... maybe Jason Sechrest can help you out there.
Sincerely, THE REAL KURT LOCKWOOD
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