Email Luke Archives Photos Stars Essays Search Luke Is Back.com Headline News Click Here - The Movie Dec 12

Shooting Date Vs Production Date

Ric writes on ADT:

Does anyone know an easy way of finding out the actual shooting date of a scene as opposed to the production date given on the DVD? From what I can I make out the production/release date of the DVD can be anything up to 6 to 9 months after the actual shooting date. In order to comply with various US legal requirements one would imagine that the actual shooting date would be recorded very carefully - but how easy is it to find out when any particular scene was shot?

Tricia Devereaux from Evil Angel responds: "The actual shooting date would be on the model release from the performers, but that is only required to be kept in-house and not advertised anywhere, so chances are there isn't anyplace for consumers to find the actual shooting dates."

I recall a lot of boxes having the shooting date on them.

James DiGiorgio Visits Boogie Nights House

James DiGiorgio writes about Cytherea's party:

I snapped a pic of Fayner (below) with Cythrea in the background trying to communicate some kind of subtle message to him. I told Fayner he looked a little better than last time I saw him, albeit his face still was a little pastey and he seemed more in need of a good mortician than ever. I also advised him I didn't think hot pink was such a good color for his complexion. I mean, c'mon, when's the last time you thought hot pink looked good on a party-ghoul? But ya know what? These guys never listen to me when it comes to fashion.

Great Ethicists: Chaim Volozhin, Yisrael Meir Kagan, Burton Visotzky, Luke F-rd

It's about time my contributions are recognized.

Great Music Can Take Several Listens

Great music is often not immediately accessible. Sometimes you have to listen several times to appreciate it. I had that experience with the second CD in Air Supply's Greatest Hits twosome. CD1 had the familiar favorites -- Lost in Love, Every Woman in the World, All Out Of Love, Chances, The One That You Love. CD2 I listened to once and ignored it for six months. But now I've listened to it several times and I'm lost in love. It's every CD in the world to me.

Catch Air Supply at The Players Ball in Las Vegas in January along with Cypress Hill, Digital Underground & DJ Evan. Hosted by: Flavor Flav, Don Magic Juan, D-Money & KB.

The Air Supply Christmas Album (1987) makes the perfect Chanukkah gift.

From an Amazon.com review:

Love 'em or hate 'em, no one can argue that Air Supply wasn't one of the most prolific and popular soft-rock presences on the airwaves during the first half of the 80's decade. This group, or duo technically, of Russell Hitchcock and Graham Russell had their lush and sometimes over-the-top productions consistantly occupy the top-5 for three years. Their tunes continued to appear on the charts less consistantly in the mid-80's but there's no denying the legacy they left. As popular as they were and still are to many, there are almost as many who despise their often syrupy, Spectorian in splendor, odes to love. They are second only perhaps to the Carpenters in the degree of love-hate they elicit from music listeners both now and in their heyday on the charts. If you are not a fan, then no collection of Air Supply's works would be of interest but for those who connect with these guys' music, selecting from the myriad of CD's available is the challange. For those seeking a "greatest hits"-type package, there are many available, however in spite of the parade of domestic collections, titles such as "ultimate" and "definitive' notwithstanding, there are still no truly complete domestic packages. For whatever reason, every domestic collection leaves off at least one of their charted hits yet with 18 or so tracks available on a CD, one wonders who is making these decisions to drop legitimate singles for b-sides and the like. This Taiwanese import is one of the few packages that does in fact contain all the American top-100 hits, including the domestically-evasive "Lonely Is The Night", Air Supply's last charting single. Beyond the American hit singles within the 36 tracks on two discs offered here are album cuts, Asian hits, a few Russell Hitchcock solo tracks and a few cuts from their "Greatests Hits Live" album. All in all, this represents about the best overview of Air Supply's music. Add in its decent sound quality and the substantial liner notes booklet with song-by-song commentary by Russell and Hitchcock, and you have the best overall package for these icons of 80's soft-rock and pop.

JR774 writes: "All of the 36 songs featured on it are wonderful songs to listen to when you are in a sentimental mood, especially if your heart has just been broken! Brilliantly the lyrics to Air Supply songs seem to articulate human emotions to a tee."

Can Single Girl Masturbation Transmit HIV?

MikeSouth.com writes:

Would one of you geniuses over there please tell me how a girl doing a solo masturbation scene can contract any one of those STDs? Thats just stupid. there's enough misinformation coming out of AIM that I think we should re-name it the Porn Ministry of Propaganda. Oh and I am not the world's best typist or speller but I would think someone who calls herself a doctor might know it is spelled molluscum and contagiosum and trichomonas....Idiots. They also spell masturbation wrong....and this moron claims to have a Phd in human sexuality. Well obviously writing skills aren't required for her "thesis" come on people...THIS is who you trust your life with?

It is time to put a real doctor and a board of real health care professionals on staff at AIM. This simply illustrates to the mainstream press who pick this story up how stupid porners are. Remember Sharon is supposed to be our beacon of intelligence. When is she going to "retire to private practice" like she keeps threatening? I will tell you when, NEVER because she would fail miserably. Only in porn can someone this inept maintain a position of authority. Dammit we can do better, I firmly believe that, so lets do it and put Sharon out to pasture turning our health and safety over to someone who really does have the education to run what should be this industry's most important organisation.

Cassidy Marries Raylene's Brother, Then Annulls

Scott Fayner writes on l-keford.com: "Sitting here with cassidy, jesse jane, barrett and kirsten, cassidy informs me (without knowing I write a "gossip" site) that she married rocky, the younger bro of another ex-Vivid chick Raylene three months ago, then had it annulled days later, making it the quickest marriage since Fayner and Taylor Rain."

"Strippers: The Untold History of the Girlie Show"

From Fleshbot: An entertaining (if wordy) survey of the "history of undressing" from its roots in 19th century vaudeville to the neo/retro burlesques acts of today, but despite its relatively innocent tone author Rachel Shteir has found herself being disinvited from reading engagements by those who fail to see the charm in good old fashioned bump-and-grind; in an interview in the Chronicle of Higher Education today (article only available with paid subscription), she says "I get very depressed ... When you see the book, it's so demure. Yes, there are photos of topless women. It is a book about striptease." And since it's a book about striptease, there are plenty of photos of topless women.

What's Up With Andy Edmond?

He used to own YNOTmasters. His brother JT still works there.

Kathi writes on JBM: "Last I heard [Andy Edmond] was programming for a mainstream company in Seattle. When I left Seattle in January he had a huge home on Vashon Island, just outside Seattle and was doing well."

Andy writes about drugs on Lycaeum.org.

3G - The new phone sex

Money writes on JBM: "I was just watching a 3G news bit on BBC....seems to me that this will be a huge new market for on demand video."

KingK writes: "3G technology and improvements on it will be HUGE. Basically, it is bringing the internet to your cellphone. The possibilities with this thing is endless. People from the US sometimes have a hard time seeing this I think, because they have sh--networks, and have been behind europe for a long time. It's improving now though."

Celebrities surfing for porn

Nick3131 writes on JBM: "Reading the Michael Jackson thread made me think. Some people here have websites that have millions of unique visitors weekly. I bet a ton of big names come through your sites and you dont even know it. Time to start lazer targeting the rich people."

All the different ways to make BLING in this biz?

XSAXS writes on JBM:

I've been brainstorming again and I haven't seen this discussed lately, so I'm asking for a somewhat comprehensive list of all the different ways to cash in on the Adult (internet) industry. Here are the ones fresh in my mind:

- Sell site memberships
- Sell content
- Sell traffic
- Sell pay per view movies
- Sell advertising/listings
- Sell pills/pumps
- Sell sex toys & lingerie
- Sell hosting
- Sell scripts/software
- Sell designs/logos
- Sell domains
- Organize webmaster events/parties

I know I'm missing some. What else is there? Discuss.....

Other suggestions:

- Sell signatures
- Sell your body
- Marry a Sheri Santiago type
- Sell expectations
- Sell out

Sex Workers Get Business Support From Families

Like in other big cities, prostitution is thriving in Ahmedabad. But according to sociologists, one big difference here is that most sex workers have family members who either pimp for them or let them operate knowing fully well what they are doing... Jani says 65-70 per cent of the 4,000-odd prostitutes in the city operate with the support of their families. There are many instances of husbands, mothers-in-law, and, in some cases, even children procuring clients for the sex worker... One of her husband's close friends began bringing prostitutes to her house and requested her to allow him to use a room. He even paid her Rs 100 each time, she says. 'I didn't know anything about this business. But seeing this was an easy way to earn money, I decided to go in for it myself,' she says.'All that I have to do is what I do with my husband anyway.' She says her husband was shocked on learning of this, and even threatened to commit suicide, but greed won. 'He uses some of my earnings to go to bed with other girls, while I use the rest to put my sons through an English medium school.'" -Ahmedabad Newsline (India)

The Garbage Man writes on GFY:

Here in America it's pretty shocking when one family member pimps another. You read about a mother pimping her daughter and find it repugnant. This story about Ahmedabad suggests why. It's not that prostitution is intrinsically objectionable. If it were, then it would never become an acceptable part of human behavior, as it is in Ahmedabad. Rather, people in America find it repugnant to read of one family member prostituting another for the simple reason that this is a very rich country. There are so many opportunities for gain and for self-improvement here that it seems loathsome when somebody stoops to pimping out a daughter, niece, wife, or mother. But in other places where the economic opportunities are so few, it doesn't seem so loathsome anymore. People get used to it. "All that I have to do," said one whore, "is what I do with my husband anyway." Might as well get paid for it, right?

It puts you in mind of something Dostoievski said: "Man is the animal that can adapt to anything." Amen.

Meanwhile, did you notice that bit at the end of the story about the wife whose husband uses her whore money to go out and sleep with other hookers? That's a peculiar form of quid pro quo. Probably it says something very fundamental about the male psyche. Think of it this way. Most guys would be shocked and appalled to find out that their wives were turning tricks. However, if they could use the money to go screw other women, how many guys would gladly start pimping their own wives?

Bishop & Grant Michaels Bury Hatchet

Bishop writes: "In what can only be called a stunning reversal the Bishop /Grant Michaels feud ended. Bishop was quoted as saying: "For crying out loud we were just two guys flaming each other on a message board for entertainment purposes only,and the next thing I know people started aligning against him saying very hurtful things that I know not to be true.After a quick phone call we both realized someone could get hurt." The two will most likely be seen sharing a steak dinner at the adult convention next month in las vegas.

Gary Kremen Vs Steve Lightspeed

The true reason behind the Steve Lightspeed and Sex.Com's Gary Kremen spat has little to do with Kremen's public distace for Lightspeed under 18 looking models. It concern's Steve's extra-marital affair with Sue Whatley, Kremen's past employee. Kremen's dislike for Steve was fostered as Kremen did not approve of the poor way that Steve treated Whatley, who is now married to Serge of Oprano Fame.

In 2001, Steve was shooting models and doing drugs at Gary's house without permission.

Black Pipe Layers 4 - When?

If not now?

Byron Long Caught Trying To Steal A Spare Tire Out Of Luke's 4WD?

Pictures and commentary from the Smelly Monkey.

Cleetus writes: "Where the hell do you get these pics? I like Bishop's hat but Byron's hat gotta go - who gets a hat with their own name on it? What is that for? People in the biz know him and people out of the biz don't care, the only thing i can think of is that if you drink a lot and or are prone to amnesia it would help you remember who you are."

Zenman writes: "Monkey neglected to post the pictures of a very reluctant Violet Blue kissing a very black man."

Smelly Monkey writes: "Sex pictures don't interest me, pictures of Byron in a car park in his boxers with white socks and black shoes, now those interest me."

Grant Michaels writes: "I have to be honest... I am quiet surprised how UGLY these two Muther F---ers are! And the whole skull warmers thing is pathetically ghetto. I hope Kelly Wild was well paid for her scene! I'll go a step further and say you 2 bastards, Bishop and Byron, are LUCKY you are in porn...otherwise you'd never get laid!!! And this is not a "color" thing ...so get over yourselves. This is an honesty thing. This industry obviously needs more class ...like Tyler Knight. Respect me for at least speaking my mind. Otherwise... you can kiss my ass."

Bishop responds: "Boy ,take a few days to go get laid (repeatedly) by the finest women in porn and this is what I come back to? Pleasure to meet you BM,and a comfort to know that you do not find me attractive, for if you did it would surely take an act of congress to keep you off of me. You are right more men should look like you. As a group you should continue to pump yourselves full of bovine dna until your man-breast reach their full-potential and your collective peni have retreated to you abdomen.I would definetly enjoy a steak with you as I'm sure you would know it's lineage......personally.I will resist any personal targets ie;hair,choice of underware,unnecessary posing to attract whatever your opposite sex may be,as well as questions ,that if you answer may alarm me..where do you hide your tail during shoots?I will however agree that any scuffle would be brief,no doubt when I muss your coiff and you hesitate to find a mirror I would skewer you with a screw-driver much like the bull-fighters of old.warmest regards bizzle-mizzle."

Smelly Monkey writes: "Bishop hits back, mr michaels your serve. Grant why do you hate black people again, i have my reasons but i can't remember yours. Garfield is cool."

Smiling Arab writes: "This board absolutely brings out the worst in people. I like it."

Grant Michaels, the ex-boyfriend of Kim Chambers, responds:

Why is it that when a guy takes care of himself and works out he is immediately accused of Steroids/ Bovine DNA...non-working dick.....blah-f---ing-blah. Every 150lb skinny f--- has that defence, Bishop! It's pathetic. Don't make me post a pic of my fat cock and oversized balls to show you up, you little bitch. Tell you what....why don't you and Byron Long pay Tyler Knight for some lessons in how to get into shape and present yourself in a CLASSY way....and stop spending so much time being GHETTO-fabulous at Mickey-D's and the tattoo parlour's, drinking Gin 'n Juice. I will repeat...I was posting to say ONE thing.....you and Long don't DESERVE to be in porn. I'm done with this conversation. See you at AVN.

Smelly Monkey narrates: "30-15 michaels. Bis might have to bring out wes, and break glass in case of emergency sammura. AHHHHH. The see you at avn, wow. Someone is walking out with a severed head in their hand."

Grant Michaels writes: "That would probably be me....for 2. Byron's would be easy to carry with his nasty dreads........Bishop's I may need a carry bag."

Grant Michaels vs Bishop

Smelly Monkey writes on XPT:

Im torn i love you both, bishop is one of 5 black people i like and grant has the boyish good looks that i like in my men, ohh wait that came out wrong, umm grant is cool too, yeah thats better, ignore the first part.

This has a lot of sexual energy behind it, and it came from nowhere, grant just laid it all out, obviously not a fan of either bishop of bryon "smokes pole for a 20 bag but still says he is too good to be a doctor" Long, bishop caught a little off guard had some words of his own for michaels. I need to market this, theres money to be made, but how. Wait ive got it.

Hey yall my fiance michelle was killed in iraq 3 days ago, she meant everything to me, she was my world. Its real rough right now, but she served her country well and will always be a marine in my heart and to those she served, ohh yeah also we have a great fight set up $10 cover charge and you get a hot dog and a choice between coke, pepsi or sprite, everything else is extra, hugs and kisses monkey.

Chickenmaster writes: "Grant you really fret over what the guys look like in porn. Sounds like you play for the other team. Man whores are just props. You are a prop Grant. Sorry to say that the world doesn't turn for your pleasure. Center stage was never for you."

Smelly Monkey writes: "Grant is racist, but i don't see that as a flaw there was a story about it on hardcoregossip a while back."

Grant Michaels A Racist?

Born writes on XPT: "You be the judge. Roided dude come out of the blue and attack two fine brothers, Bishop & Byron. Saying s--- like they don't DESERVE to be in porn. Man, that's so 1861."

Pastor John's Born Again Trumpet Call

Pastor John writes on XPT:

I am proud to announce that Jessica Darlin has been born again and is now saved and can proudly call herself a Christian. Her sins are forgiven.

If I may, I would like to let you in on a little secret. The Evil Angel will soon become the Good Angel. Make way for the Lord! I shall wait for those involved to make an official announcement. Praise the Lord.

Pastor John writes (and suckers in James DiGiorgio):

Yes my son, you may listen to our radio show every Tuesday evening via our website or via Paltalk in the Christianity section. Our program starts at 6:00 pm. We are hoping that Jessica will be our guest next Tuesday. Pastor Gene is in charge of the show. Our telephone number for the show is 1 800 466 1873. You would be surprised how many porn stars have called and visited since I started to post on this board. Many are being saved.

Porn Wealth Is Not Funny

James DiGiorgio writes:

What's the most-common, common denominator of all the people making the most money in this business other than being Jewish?

They're not funny.

The rich, jizz biz power brokers couldn't make a baby laugh by tickling them. Yeah, Quaze is funny. And Wankus is funny too! (Although not as funny as I can be.) But I don't remember seeing either of them walking into a bank with a suitcase full of cash to deposit.

When's the last time you heard anything funny coming out of the mouth of a David Sturman or a Larry Flynt or a Steve Hirsch or a Paul Fishbein? If anyone ever laughs when any of these guys say something it's because those doing the laughing are sucking ass.

I say David Sturman can be funny.

Former Extreme Associates Contract Girl Jessica Darlin Lets Loose

I've been with my husband for over 11 years now. The last couple of years have been the best of our marriage. I even practiced monogamy for a couple minutes. LOL-My husband has taken care of me every step of the way during my health issues and i'm proud to say that I feel better than ever w/ the understanding that my condition will one day kill me. For now i'm living it up! Some of my fans believing that I wasn't married wrote me and said that they would marry me because their health insurance would cover me as their wife. You know who you are and i'll always love that gesture. That's the good human being that you rarely associate with porn.

Zenman writes: "Awesome link. I love it when porn whores dish."

Qreed writes:

I love vindictiveness!

Who was shocked she was married all this time, so what. Porn life and drug use she can abandon with ease apparently. Gain a private life again simply. The net will keep Jessica Darlin doing porn for a long time. The way she rolled her eyes up was different. They come and go and hope all is well in her future.

There is something to just walking away and not looking back but she doesn't want that. Maybe its just spin to hook readers returning back to the website for some time. I didn't know it existed and unlikely I'll return. Her fights aren't so interesting because what's going to change. What realization about porn doesn't someone know already? Its an outrageous experience and harsh, its no wonder some are hurt to not gain success to get on with their life. They have to leave scarred and angry.

Penthouse Pet of the Year 2005 Interview

I was typing away on my site about my outreach to fallen women when I got a reminder via email that I was 45-minutes late for my telephone interview with Martina Warren.

Her publicist wrote: "I oughta smother you with my big semitic milky white boobs for that booboo! Now I order you to phone her NOW!"

So I did as I was told.

(I interviewed my first Penthouse Pet (Antonia Larsen) in 1984 during my senior year of high school.)

Martina was driving with some fella in a car when we spoke.

From London, she's lived in the US since 2002. She posed for her first Penthouse layout in the summer of that year.

Duke: "Do you like it better here?"

Martina: "Oh yeah. It's beautiful. Especially in LA and Arizona. The weather is amazing compared to what I'm used to."

Duke: "When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Martina: "I've been modeling since I was three years old, so my dream was always modeling. I did pretty much everything kids can do -- clothes modeling, TV commercials."

Duke: "How old were you when you first posed nude or topless?"

Martina: "When I was 16 in England."

Duke: "For Page Three [of The Sun]?"

Martina: "Yeah, and for loads of other stuff. I never appeared in Page Three. That's when they were going through the stage of, even though it was legal when you were 16, of not doing it. I did the pictures but they never got published. But I also did FHM and Loaded."

Duke: "When did you get [breast] implants?"

Martina: "When I was 17. It really wasn't anything to do with the modeling. I just always wanted bigger boobs. I love them. I would never go back to the old way.

"I get a lot more lingerie-type work, which I couldn't have done before."

Duke: "Have you always been blonde?"

Martina: "I was born blonde but when I turned 12, my hair started getting darker. So, since the age of 14, I've been dying it. Even though my true color now is brunette, I've never seen it."

Duke: "Does your family know you're Penthouse Pet of the Year and how did they react?"

Martina: "Yeah, they do. They're really proud. My mom's really happy."

Duke: "Would you ever do porn movies?"

Martina: "No. I don't mind doing the soft girl-girl that I've been doing for Penthouse, but I would never take it any further than that."

Duke: "How did you decide to pose nude in the first place?"

Martina: "Growing up in England, in Europe, it's no big deal. Before I even turned 16, I wanted to do it. When I turned 16, I joined one of the bigger glamor agencies in England. It was never a big deal posing topless."

Duke: "How would you compare dating in America to dating in England?"

Martina: "There's no difference really."

Duke: "What kind of men are you attracted to?"

Martina: "They've got to have a good kind of personality. You can tell [their personality] by the way they treat their mothers and family, because, after a few years, that's how they will treat you."

Duke: "What's the longest relationships you've had?"

Martina: "One year."

Duke: "Are you naturally monogamous or is that difficult for you?"

Martina: "No. Naturally. If I'm with someone and I'm happy, I don't believe in people cheating on people. If it comes to that stage, then you're better off just breaking off that relationship."

Duke: "What are you goals in life?"

Martina: "To do my best at whatever I try. One day I'd like to have my own modeling agency. I'd like to settle down in a nice house."

Duke: "How did you come to choose to live in Arizona?"

Martina: "I was living in Los Angeles for a year-and-a-half and I got fed up with the traffic and wanted to go somewhere a little more relaxing."

Duke: "How have your friends from childhood reacted to your Penthouse title?"

Martina: "They don't seem that bothered by it either way."

Duke: "What are you goals for the next few years?"

Martina: "To make my website bigger and better all the time and to get more well known."

When Martina's not working, she likes hanging out with her friends, partying, skiiing and going to movies.

Duke: "What movie star would you most like to date?"

Martina: "Goldie Hawn. She just keeps on going."

I forgot to ask her if Constantine was truly a man of faith or was more motived by political concerns.

The Duke Floored Outreach Center For Wayward Women

In my decade in the industry, I've taken a kindly interest in some of the fallen women who've come across my path. I've tried to give them a hand and lift them up to a higher place. Most precious of all, I've given of myself.

Yet, more often than not, my efforts have been in vain. Such is the case with one young woman I met this year on a set and took a fatherly interest in her lost soul.

We spoke by phone Friday afternoon.

Janey: "I don't believe you're an FBI agent, though it would make for some fun role-playing games."

Duke: "I'm distressed that you are smoking cigarettes and dope. I feel like I've failed you."

Janey: "You have. I have issues with authority.

"I'm seeing your friend Sunday."

Duke: "You better be on good behavior."

Janey: "I will. I'm not all bad."

Duke: "You're a lush."

Janey: "I'm determined to be bad."

Duke sighs: "I've been no influence on you."

Janey: "You've been a bad influence. You drove me to drinking and drugs. Give yourself a little credit. You're supposed to set a good example. You told me about the good path but you did not follow your own advice. When I saw you not following your own advice, it made your advice seem worthless."

Duke: "I have certain weaknesses of the flesh."

Janey: "So do I. I admit them. Therein lies my strength. I face my sins and reconcile the dark and the light."

Duke: "My warts are growing on my back. Bigger, blacker and badder than ever."

Janey: "You're a hypochondriac. I am never putting wart remover on your back again."

Duke: "You are not a good squaw. I am Chief Moral Leader."

Janey: "With moral warts."

Duke: "I have some growing on my ...."

Janey: "Great. That's sexy. If they are contagious, that will really turn me on.

"So you have your quiet time tonight?"

Duke: "My holy time."

Janey: "How many holes are you going to fill?"

Duke: "I go 25 hours without shiksas. No fornication. It's a lot of pressure being a moral leader. A lot of people look up to me."

Janey: "Except when they're on top of you. Then they look down."

Duke: "I went back to the house of debauchery where we met. I'm still getting over the shock."

Janey: "Well, you go there. You do it to yourself."

Duke: "I'm working for the FBI. I'm rooting out corruption."

Janey: "You're rooting nothing but porn stars."

Duke: "You're so cynical."

Janey: "Like attracts like, honey."

Janey writes: "I was alerted to your posting of our bizzare conversation. Why are you bothered asking these inane questions? You have much more interesting and important things to write about, I think."

Search sex.com for "Lightspeed"

Steve Lightspeed writes on GFY:

And it goes to a link for ASACP? What a CROCK! Does anyone else think ASACP should be staffed by an elected committee? Industry politics within the current committee seems to be clouding their judgement and wasting their resources. Maybe they could focus on their real goal of removing CP from the net? Has anyone else had enough of these assclowns running ASACP?

Wired Guy writes: "This practice is rather unfair of sex.com to do. A search for "child porn" on sex.com gives as a result the ASACP. That's fair. But labelling searches such as "tawnee stone" or "lightspeed" into the same category as CP is totally uncalled for Gary."

Brad Shaw writes on JBM: "Reason I do not like the guy is that I know deep down, he is an idiot. I had the "pleasure" of sitting next to him on a 5 hr flight from PHX to Miami one time. It took me about 5 mins. to realize he is a sexual deviant gone awry. Idiot told me how he got in the biz, had something to do with shooting girls in cheer outfits for his own sexual pleasure."

Happy Peekers writes: "I would never ever work for someone that promoted Ladies that they try so hard to make look like little girls.. It honestly makes me sick. It just makes me think of incest."

Ed Wood's Forgotten Porn Film - The Young Marrieds

Dimitrios writes: "Hi Luke -- I noticed you wrote about Ed Wood in your book A History of X, as well as on your site. So here's a tip: I just discovered a totally lost Ed Wood porn movie. This is true? Its called THE YOUNG MARRIEDS. I found a 16mm print (it was shot on 16) and this is truly a RARE movie. PS. Ed died 26years ago today."

J.M. Announces AVN Expo Booth Signers

December 10, 2003 Chatsworth, CA - Nestled perfectly between Christmas and Martin Luther King's birthday lies a very special time of the year. During this magical time, perverts and pornographers can get together to worship and celebrate the one thing that forever bonds them together: whores.

The venue for this joyous occasion: the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) in decadent Las Vegas, Nevada, January 6-9, 2005.

J.M. Productions is proud to announce its lineup of whores who will be signing at their booth for this year's AEE, including contract whore and budding directorial talent Ashley Blue, White Trash Whore Missy Monroe, and the girls of Pariah Pictures (Khan Tusion's Meatholes, Midnight Prowl, Frank Wank): Ariana Jollee, Ava Divine, Venus, and Sophia.

JM management has placed Ashley Blue in charge of making sure the other girls make it to the booth as scheduled. "I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to keep all these whores alive, let alone sober for four days," explains Ashley, "But we've got enough that if we lose one or two we'll still be okay."

JM Productions takes great care in selecting only the biggest and best whores each year for their booth. "Before each girl is hired they go through a very thorough interview process," explains JM publicist Tony Malice, "Our goal is to find girls who will be courteous to the fans and who can behave in a professional manner."

Some of the girls, however, found JM's interviewing techniques to be highly unconventional...

Unfortunately the diabolical director Khan Tusion won't be signing at the JM booth this year due to a prior commitment. "I would love to be there, but unfortunately I am obligated to perform my court-ordered community service those days," explains Khan, "And my lawyers are still trying to figure out if I'm even allowed back into the state of Nevada."

Help Me, Please!

Probably the greatest disappointment in my life is that, at present, I live thousands of miles away from My Moral Leader's office (i.e., hovel). This is where Mr Ford dispenses advice to the forlorn and perplexed. Not that I want the sort of hands-on care that Mr Ford kindly shows his (many) female followers. Good grief, NO! But I really do need some sort of personal counselling from a trusted source: a wise man who not only knows the difference between right and wrong, but who also has the steely determination and boundless self-discipline to do the right thing at all times. This is where I fall down. My capacity to make good ethical decisions is severely lacking. I usually know what is the right thing to do, but when presented with a choice between the right and the easy thing, I always do the latter.

For example, this past spring I met a 73 year-old woman at the local pub. And, to cut a long and disturbing story short, I went to her house, stayed the night, and had sex. Even in my inebriated condition at the time, I knew full well that what I was about to do was wrong -- very, very wrong. But I did it anyway because it seemed so easy. When I awoke the next morning (afternoon, actually), I fled -- appalled -- before receiving my agreed-upon money.

Ava Vincent Denies Getting Beat Up By Nikita Denise's Ex

Lea De Mae passes away; Roy Karch gets a phone threat from Jezebel Bond's boxer boyfriend; Robert Lombard rear-ended.

UPDATED: On Set With Cytherea, Kelly Wells, Violet Blue

Kelly Wells Kelly Wells Kelly Wells Kelly Wells Byron Long Byron Long Ron Sullivan, Byron Long Bishop Christmas with Brian, Cytherea's husband Kelly Wells Ron, Bishop, Kelly Rob Spallone Byron Long Byron Long Byron Long Byron Long Byron Long Sylvio, Violet Blue Sylvio, Violet Blue Violet Blue Rob Spallone Violet Blue Violet Blue, Sylvio Violet Blue, Sylvio Violet Blue, Sylvio Violet Blue Violet Blue Violet Blue Violet Blue Violet Blue Violet Blue Violet Blue Kelly Wells Kelly Wells Violet Blue Kelly, Rob Bogie

One word best describes my mood as I drive to the home of Brian and Cytherea December 9 -- dread.

Over the past seven months, I've seen my savings slip away, and though my productivity has been high, I've felt the weight of the world increasingly press against my temples.

My 1982 vehicle is worth about $400. A couple of years ago, I took it in to get new shock absorbers, and took it out $2000 later, with new tires, etc.

Last week I took it in to get smogged. My vehicle failed the test. I took it to a new mechanic, choosing the place because it was closest (rather than going to my traditional mechanic two miles away). At first it was going to be $100, then $300, then finally I kept saying yes until the bill reached $1300.

I drove it away after four days in the shop (missing three days worth of shoots) only to find it wasn't running well, if it would start. I took it back and only got it out $600 later. It still don't start too well, nor run too well.

I borrowed a $1000 from a friend. He said it was a gift. No, he corrected himself, I could have it. It was money I had earned through my hard work.

Maybe if I do some more good work I can afford some of that Rogaine stuff that sparks your hair growth while it diminishes your libido.

The other night I was joking with friends about socially inappropriate erections. What about the far more fearsome problem I've been facing of late -- socially inappropriate non-erections?

I recall bad things happening in bunches in my past, so I drive particularly careful. Yet it is not so much the traffic I see around me as the prospect of my whole life crashing to a halt, as its undergirding structure blows up.

I feel surges of rage at an unwanted linking to lukeisback. This site is not mine. It is not the real me. It is but a chimera, a big joke, like Luke Seeks A Wife (with its boast: "I write to make my genitals more desirable to fertile women").

This is not the way it was meant to be. Fifteen years ago, I dedicated my pen and my life to spreading ethical monotheism. Oh, how far I have fallen. The things I've been spreading lately have been neither ethical nor monotheistic.

I don't want people in my real life reading my confessions. I don't want them reading Lukeisback. Much better that they should stick to Your Moral Leader (that's how I like to think of myself, as a moralist, not a sensualist). It's more wholesome. It's a place for women and children and girls I date. They should hang out there and be well and not go traipsing off across the wilds of the World Wide Web to this dark corner. Because I am not really here. I am not I, therefore, you cannot be you. Because if I am only for myself, then what am I? If not now, when?

Who is the rich man? He who is content with his lot.

Who is the true penitent? He who has forgiven himself.

One ray of sunshine in my life arrived at Brian and Cytherea's home a few months ago.

I was immediately warmed by "sunshine." I interviewed her before her scene and snapped a few photos. She was chirpy.

A few weeks later, I heard from her. She wanted me to remove her real name from my site. I did.

We kept emailing each other. We talked on the phone. We went to dinner. We lay down on my floor to watch The Day After Tomorrow. By the time the hurricanes were hitting Los Angeles, we were no longer paying attention to the movie.

Things flared up and then things died down within a month, like my van is dying now, outside of Brian and Cytherea's.

Rob Spallone is producing another edition of America's premiere heart-warming family-favorite series since Cosby -- Bang My Tight White Ass. My friend starred in it.

"At least you know she's not racist," said a friend. He worries about me. My predilections for shiksas, for deception, for self-destruction...

Within a few minutes of walking inside, shaking hands with director Ron Sullivan, photographer Bill Diehl, production manager Kenny Carolina and greeting Brian and Cytherea (of Cytherea Productions), I find my mood lifting. I start laughing. I check out the new girl -- Kelly Wells. She's 20 and slim and blonde and real.

Everyone thinks she's petrified. She'll be taking on two big black guys -- Byron Long and Bishop.

I find there's nothing like an interracial double penetration to take away the blues.

I'm a lonesome dove no longer. I've got important work to do.

It's 10 am. Brian lounges on the couch surrounded by Cytherea's four dogs. Cytherea's just gotten up. She wears no make-up. She's coming to life.

Brian shows me their Santa Claus. It has a male appendage.

Rob Spallone drives up and walks in, amping up the excitement. He has a major Penthouse casting call Tuesday. Rob hands out business cards for its Holiday Inn location in Woodland Hills.

Ron tells Cytherea that he wants to get his ear pierced again. He had it done the first time at Cytherea's house around his 65th birthday.

"She made a big thing about it," says Ron. "Just as they were about to puncture my ear, she unzipped my fly and took my dick out and started sucking my dick to distract me."

I have my tape recorder out capturing everything.

Rob warns Ron: "He's writing everything you say."

Ron: "I don't care."

Rob's still talking about Bill Margold's dire predictions for his talent call.

Despite it all, he's as happy as two black men with a white girl to poke. He boasts that he has no more warrants out for his arrest, and just a minor court appearance Friday morning.

Rob just graduated from anger management (not that the 52 classes have done him much good).

Rob says about his teacher (after telling me to shut off my tape recorder): "He says that I am one client he will never forget. And he don't make much money. He gets like a $100 per class.

"Usually, when someone graduates, they have pizza. I have never graduated from anything in my life. I wanted a diploma. The guy went out and bought me a diploma.

"Then I find out there's a warrant out for my arrest. I was supposed to be in court in October. If I had been pulled over, [Rob might've gone to jail]."

Byron Long, 35, arrives. He carries a drink. I guess 10am is not too early for a beer. But it turns out he's sipping a non-alcoholic energy drink. What kind of set is this? Soon they'll be passing out milk.

Bishop arrives late. He's eager for his "prison rape season" with Byron and Kelly Wells.

At a shoot earlier this week, Bishop had his car alarm go off. The LAPD rolled up and questioned him. Bishop was not cooperative. So they through him in county jail for two days. Now he's a free man and he's got a beautiful young white woman to pork. Life is good.

Bishop: "They ran my background information. And based on a warrant from many years ago..."

Ron: "How long have you been black?"

Bishop: "For about 40 years now."

Ron: "Haven't you learned yet?"

Duke to Bishop: "Did you get raped?"

Bishop laughs: "Almost."

Duke: "When was the warrant?"

Bishop: "Twelve years ago. Marijuana found its way into my possession. I met all the state's requirements for that infraction -- probation, work release."

Kelly looks up as the conversation progresses. Do I read fear in her eyes?

Duke: "Were you drunk [when Bishop was questioned by the LAPD]?"

Bishop: "No. I was on my way to work so I wasn't drunk yet.

"Apparently they didn't like my attitude."

Duke: "Why weren't you more cooperative with the nice police officers?"

Bishop: "They weren't playing nice with me. They asked me a bunch of questions that they had no right to ask. Once I proved that this was my vehicle and that I wasn't breaking into it, that should've been the end of our interaction."

Duke: "What questions were they asking?"

Bishop: "Where I been. What I was doing there."

Duke: "Did you tell them you were a porn star?"

Bishop: "I didn't think that would be helpful. Men cannot be porn stars. Only women can be porn stars. Men are just props.

"Every time I've talked with the LAPD, it has been an unfavorable interaction. Those guys and I just don't see things from eye-to-eye."

Ron says Kelly looks nervous. "I'd be nervous too if I was about to be f----- by Byron Long."

Rob tells a story about dropping off his kids to his ex-wife this week. They were hanging out in a clubhouse and accidentally tripped off an alarm. When they walked outside, they were surrounded by LAPD officers who had weapons drawn.

Bishop: "Lucky you weren't a black man or you would've been shot in the back."

Rob says he's going to McDonalds. Anybody want anything?

Byron: "Get some young meaty girls."

Duke: "What's wrong with the one you got?"

Byron: "She's only a snack. I need meat."

Ron says he would never hire Sean Michaels because he spoke like a white man.

Byron says that it is not a matter of talking white, but talking educated.

As I listen to Byron, I realize he talks like a white man. I ask him if he went to college. Yes. He got his degree in biology from UCLA in 1991. His parents expected him to go to medical school.

Byron served in the military full-time from 1990-94, and was then in the reserves for six years. He entered porn in 1994. "In the lull of life," he says.

Duke: "Why didn't you go to medical school?"

Byron: "Because doctors are jokes."

Duke: "Why are they jokes?"

Byron: "They're practicioners."

Bishop: "They kill people."

Duke: "What's wrong with being a practicioner?"

Bishop giggles.

Byron: "There's people who heal and there are people who practice. All doctors really do is hand out medication. When you go see a doctor, he has no real idea of what's the matter with you. But you're going to leave that day with a prescription."

Byron says prescription drugs don't help people.

Duke: "But what about lithium?"

Duke owes his sanity, such as it is, to lithium.

Byron: "Bipolar? Let me tell you a story about a girl I knew in the business. She was bipolar. As long as she smoked the good bud, she was straight. As soon as she started hanging out with people who told her it wasn't good to smoke that herb, and she went back to that medicine..."

Byron makes dramatic swinging motions with his arms to indicate her changing moods.

So no, Byron (who grew up in Inglewood, a middle-class black community near LAX) does not endorse lithium for people with bipolar disorder. Instead, he recommends "the good bud." Otherwise known as "that herb."

Byron: "Another case in point. My mother almost died a couple of years ago. She had a brain aneurism. It had grown the size of your fist lodged in her brain. She was going brain. We take her to the hospital. She gets surgery. She was the one person that lived. The reason that it never exploded is that she smoked the bud all the time with me.

"When she got out of the hospital, she was given a medication with the side effect of seizures. They gave somebody who had brain surgery medicine that had the side effect of seizures. I took her off that s---. I put her on herb. She smoked the herb all the time and she hasn't been sick since. Every six months when she goes to the doctors, they ask, are you taking the medicine we gave you? They're trying to figure out why she's still alive, because they know the medicine they gave her is crap."

Byron speaks against pharmaceutical companies and for Eastern medicine. "The only reason it isn't accepted in Western society is that Western society is based on religious beliefs. How are you going to accept that somebody else has a better system of medicine than you when you believe the earth didn't start until 3,000 years ago and you have a group of people who had medicine 4,000 years ago. That doesn't sound right [from a Western perspective]. How are you going to have medicine longer than you've been on the planet? When you have a society developed by a religious group, certain things can't happen. Western medicine is based, not on healing, but on making money. If you heal somebody, they don't come back.

"Any time you have a corporation that has made six billion dollars, I don't think the mother------- need much more money. You should drop out of the game and let some other people make money."

Duke: "Do you think porn heals people?"

Byron is taken aback for a few seconds. He thinks before speaking: "Some porn does, but there's a lot of porn in this industry that's just wrong."

Duke: "Like what?"

Byron: "Anybody who wants to do the most extreme thing [is probably not healing]. What people don't realize is that we are dealing with women. The same young ladies we are calling sluts, hos, bitches, whatever... That's your momma. Because she's a woman too. If you one woman is bad, you must think all women is bad. A lot of the porn made in this industry is not geared towards sexuality. It's geared towards a group of men who don't particularly like women. They want to make sure that there's pain...anger. That there's no sexual anything. When you have a scene where they're trying to make a girl cry. Where they're trying to break her. 'Yeah, we f----- her up. She ain't going to work for days.'

"You don't like women."

Duke: "You don't do those scenes?"

Byron: "No. They say I'm too nice. They call me a lover. That's not what they're looking for. I won't call women bitches. They're pretty girls. They're all pretty girls. I like getting women off."

Ron Sullivan lectures his talent before the scene. Ron is not a fan of double penetration (because, he says, people don't do it in real life), yet he must shoot it because the market (and his producer Rob Spallone) demands it. So Ron comes up with creative scenarios to make the scene more meaningful and humane. The guys are supposed to take turns "doing her in the butt. I like it slow. It's nasty when it's slow. I can see it better."

Kelly looks scared.

Byron and Silvio (a black performer in his early 40s) discuss colors. I don't quite follow. I press for explanations. Byron asks if I have noticed that most black men in the business wear the same color -- blue.

I'm not sure if these "colors" are gang-related or slavery-related. It's not easy being a poor outgunned white child on a black man's shoot.

It used to be a scandal if a white woman went with a black man. Now it's cool.

Byron uses the phrase, "to true-up."

Duke: "What does it mean?"

Byron: "They're true to their colors. They're true-blue."

Duke: "Are those gang colors?"

Byron and Sylvio protest. "No, not necessarily."

They're smiling broadly at the ignorance of this white man.

Sylvio: "I just like to wear red a lot. That way they know it's me. We'll leave it at that."

Duke: "Sylvio, what gang do you identify with?"

Sylvio and Byron repeat that it had nothing to do with gangs. It's just that Sylvio's favorite color is red.

I ask Byron what was the predominant gang in his home community of Inglewood.

Byron: "I wouldn't say there was a gang in Inglewood. There was a family."

Duke: "What was it called?"

Byron: "Inglewood family."

Byron smiles. "Hey Sylvio. There's no gang in Inglewood, right? There's a family."

Sylvio agrees. They laugh in the hearty manner of the well endowed black man who knows that the tiny white girl is his oyster.

Duke: "What about Crips and Bloods?"

They say they don't know nothing about that.

Byron: "I would never be caught slip-walking. My friends wouldn't appreciate me doing that."

They won't explain "slip-walking" to me.

Sylvio: "It's exactly what it sounds like."

I guess it is some inner-city black gang thing.

Ron Sullivan is married to a black woman (though he does not recommend it) and it is his best marriage yet (after five tries).

When Byron Long takes off his red beanie, he displays a pair of ponytails.

He tells Ron Sullivan to remove the disinfectant wipes he's been using on the sink and floor in Cytherea's kitchen from the scene (taking place in the kitchen) in case the girl mistakes them for the sanitary wipes she'll use later on intimate parts of her body.

Kelly (20yo, 5'10, and 34B) says she's been in porn three months (after three months stripping in Las Vegas at Palominos) and done 40 movies. She got into it through a friend who said she'd make a lot of money and have a lot of fun.

Kelly said she couldn't f--- on camera. Her friend said that's where the money comes in. It's a good motivator.

Kelly says that if you are going to do porn, you might as well do it right.

As the scene begins, I walk outside into the sunshine and throw a football back and forth with Rob. Football is our favorite sport to watch.

I ask Sylvio when he was last in prison. He says it was 17 years ago.

I hear Misha has quit as publicist for VCA. As could be expected, there has been a ton of turnover at the company since LFP bought it.

I hear former VCA owner Russell Hampshire is looking good and doing well. He was just off to Hawaii for a vacation. I suspect he's playing a lot of golf and working in his garden.

White kid Mike Johns learned Spanish and headed down to Costa Rica a few years ago to work in Internet gambling. He made a ton of money and now shoots for Red Light District, which is funded by its owner's (David Joseph Giarusso) Costa Rican gambling operation.

I hear Kelly said to Byron, "Did you just put your head in my ass?"

Byron: "The good news is -- my cock ain't got no shoulders."

Harry Weiss had Thanksgiving dinner at the home of Cytherea. As he cut up some pork, he said, "This pink turkey ain't bad."

Violet Blue, 29, drives up. She gets out of her car and shakes Brian's hand. Then she gives him her bag.

Her scene partner Sylvio walks up. They start making out.

Brian: "I'm carrying your bag and you only shook my hand."

Cytherea has crashed her scooter a couple of times. After she drives off, I ask Brian if his wife is a good driver. "Yes," he says, "except when she gets distracted, and is talking on her cell phone, and having a drink while she's driving."

A few minutes later, we hear a car roar outside the gate. It's Cytherea. She can't work the code to get in.

Violet Blue and Sylvio make out again.

Taking a breath, she says, "Good thing we're both married."

I ask Sylvio how his wife likes him working in porn. He says she don't. She's 57.

"Most wives wouldn't like their husbands working in porn," says Violet.

She yawns, even though she had more than eight hours of sleep last night.

She's been married for five years, and has had a boyfriend for three years. Now she has a new boyfriend in addition to her other two men. She and her husband are talking about divorce. They're only married for the sake of their son.

Violet is about to take her fourth degree of Wiccan test. She'll become an elder.

Rob has Brian put on the movie Donnie Brasco, one of Rob's favorites. He's long named my Donnis Brasco. Rob says I'm an undercover FBI agent who will bring everybody down. "Agent Luke Brasco dot com."

Rob asks if I ever wear my uniform. "Only on dates," I say. "Some women like that."

I imagine Rob as the Al Pacino character in the movie, playing with his birds and waiting for his crime family to whack him.

Rob tells Brian to put the sound on.

"Wait till Fellini's done in there," says Brian.

"Tell them to go outside and shoot," says Rob.

Jim South handed off Rob Spallone's mail to an assistant. Now Rob has the stack on the table in front of him. He has six offers for credit, from mortgage refinancing to new credit cards. Don't they know this man is filing bankruptcy any day?

We hear loud moans from the kitchen. The two black men are thrilled with their delicate white maiden Kelly, whose yelps indicate she's far from unhappy. It's a good thing Dr. William Pierce never lived to see the series Bang My Tight White Ass.

Rob says I have caused him more aggravation than anybody in the past eight years. He's disappointed he wasn't able to raise $200,000 from the industry to frighten me away from porn.

Cytherea's black cocker spaniel wanders into the kitchen during the scene. "She wants some too," says Kelly.

Brian says to Ron that he has a feature and some gonzos for him to shoot.

"Features are for faggots," says Ron, probably the greatest feature director of the 1980s.

I ask Brian if he shoots bestiality. "Some of the girls we had at the house a few weeks ago," he says, "could've been confused to animals."

Brian's black t-shirt says "white guy" on the front and "f--- y'all, you all." But without the dashes on the obscene word.

Brian remembers Ron shooting a scene in his pool a few weeks ago. Brian pulled out his remote control and directed his boats in the pool into the scene.

"What are those dildos doing on the window sill?" I ask.

"They're air fresheners," says Rob.

Brian complains that on every Rob shoot, Rob and his crew raid the kitchen. "Rob's crew descends like locusts."

Rob sucks down a load of Brian's custard.

"It's a Rob Spallone shoot," says Brian. "I'm out of food and my kitchen smells like turds."

The scene is finished. Kelly is cleaning off. Ron Sullivan collars her in a corner and tells her all about himself. That she should stay in touch with him so he can get her work. She should give him her number. That he was Henri Pachard. She should search "Henri Pachard" on the Internet. That he shot more pornos on film than anybody during the 1980s.

"I'm as humble as an elephant in heat," Ron admits to me later.

12:35: Violet Blue says, "Ron, you're out of enemas."

Rob gives Ron money and he drives to 7-11 to buy more.

I ask Kelly if she's sore after her scene. "Not at all," she replies.

She's shooting for Meatholes.com on Tuesday.

"Is that the one where they have the girl beating up on the girl?" Violet Blue asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"I did that. I beat up a little asian girl. I beat up people in my personal."

Duke: "How many people do you have to beat up to become an elder in Wicca?"

Violet: "You don't. That's a stupid question."

Photographer Bill Diehl: "Hey Rob. People are asking for water."

Rob: "I just sent Ron to the store."

Brian asks Kelly, "What don't you do?"

Kelly: "I do everything."

Rob boasts about his AVN nominations for The Sopornos.

Kelly has red eyes. She got stung with the man seed. It happens every time. They're just supposed to shoot on her face but they always get some in her eye.

I hate it when that happens.

Violet and Kelly discuss stripping at Palominos in Las Vegas. They both know Kat, the morning manager.

Kelly: "She has big breasts. She can make her pussy talk."

Violet nods.

Kelly says stripping was boring. She grew to resent guys. They wanted to see all of her without paying for it.

Brian: "I know this guy who'd go to clubs and his thing was -- he wanted girls to stomp on his nuts."

Violet Blue says she is a "ceremonial magician" in OTO.

"Ordo Templi Orientis, the Order of Oriental Templars, or Order of the Temple of the East..."

Duke: "Do you guys have gun?"

Violet: "We don't need guns."

Violet says "we can only do spells on ourself. It's your own will acting... When I was in college, I cast a spell [for] this guy I was madly in love with. My roommate walked in as I was casting the spell. My energy got divereted towards her. He ended up falling in love with her and they're not married."

Violet majored in "Environmental Studies" at college but she did not graduate.

Kenny: "Do you guys have orgies?"

Violet: "Unofficially. There have been some parties that got wild. Usually it ends up in spankings and whippings as opposed to orgies. It's not an OTO event but OTO people tend to be wild."

Violet Blue's husband is a production manager for Stony Curtis at Lethal Hardcore.

Duke: "Does your husband every say, take your hands off my wife!"

Violet: "Why would he say that? He could care less who has his hands on me."

Kelly asks Violet: "You've been in the business for a while, right?"

Violet: "Yeah, four years now."

Kelly: "How often do you shoot?"

Violet: "About four times a month. Not very much."

Kelly: "Not very much. You probably shot a lot, huh?"

Violet: "Oh yeah. I was shooting every day for two years."

Kelly: "Tiring."

Violet: "It's not that. People shoot you for all their gonzo lines and then they can only shoot you for features. Features only happen every so often. I don't even know what this one is for."

Kelly: "The rumor is that if you shoot four or five days a week, you won't be in the business in four months, because you'll be shot out.

"I met a woman who shot every day for years [Bridgette Kerkove]. She's done over a thousand scenes and she's only been in porn for a few years."

Violet: "It helps that her husband Skeeter is a director and she'll take a baseball bat up her ass."

Bridget Kerkove won Best New Starlet in 2000. Tera Patrick won in 2001. Violet Blue in 2002. Jenna Haze in 2003. Stormy in 2004.

Violet: "Bridget said that after she won Best New Starlet she didn't work for a long time. The same thing happened to me. Everyone thinks your rates are too expensive. It didn't help that my manager Roy G-rcia told everybody that my rate went up $200. Stay far away from Roy."

Roy replies: "Funny, last week she was e-mailing me & calling me for work and I haven't been an agent for almost 2 years - idiot. Especially since I was calling her today for a job I'm shooting. Double idiot. Word of advice to talent - show up, (on time) look good, don't complain. And stop blaming everyone else for your problems, because even if those problems are legit, there's nothing you can do about them, you can only change yourself. And learn another skill, hell, learn a lot of them - no-one ever got to the top of their industry staying the same, not evolving, and not diversifying. So do that, and stop whinning - this is the ADULT Biz - act over 18."

Duke: "Does OTO have a feeder program into porn?"

Violet: "No. I think I am their only porn star but we have a few rock stars."

I try to have an intellectual conversation with Violet Blue but Kenny Carolina keeps taking it into the gutter. He wants to know about the freakiest things Violet has done while I want to explore her spiritual side.

Rob's friend Bogie (tattooed, muscular, hulking figure) comes over. Every year for the past four years, Rob has arranged a photo for Bogie of him with some porn chicks.

Bogie once killed a guy in a bar fight. He wasn't convicted of any crime but he went out of his mind afterwards. He's been arrested three times but never convicted.

He works in computers.

Ron says he looks good. Bogie says he's lost 35 pounds.

Bogie asks Ron: "You got any decent girls this year?"

Rob: "Do we have any girls for him or he's going to get angry?"

Rob rounds up Cytherea and Violet Blue.

Bogie: "I'm a Jehovah Witness. Anyone want to donate?"

Bogie says he has a WWII Italian rifle for sale. Never fired. Dropped once.