On Set With Penthouse
Jim Malibu directed and Rob Spallone produced a High-Definition softcore shoot for Penthouse in Sherman Oaks Wednesday, December 29, starring Katrena Starr, Dani Woodward, Penthouse Pet Crystal Klein and Charmane Star.
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Smelly Monkey writes on XPT about Charmane Star: "She gave me the same look when I jumped out from behind the bushes at her apartment last thursday. I love Charmane."
From Suze-Centerfolds.com on Crystal Klein: "She's a cute brown-eyed blonde born in Austria on October 10, who is 5'6" tall, weighs 112 lbs. and measures 35B-26-35. Her dress size is 2, shoe size 8. No tattoos, no piercings. Her ambition is to be a singer/songwriter."
Rob yells out: "Where's Jim Malibu?"
No answer.
Rob yells again: "Where's Jim Holliday?"
Juno writes: "Rob is looking like JABBA the HUT."
I met Kareena, who stands 6' tall with a 36" inseam, at the Penthouse talent call. She says they never called her back (though here she is starring in a movie for them). She says she's too old. She's 22.
I say 22 is not old. Jamie Lynn is 23 and she was just a Penthouse Pet.
Kareena tells me to keep quiet. She says she wants to believe that it is because she is too old. That is easier on her self-esteem.
Kareena says she dropped out of high school a few months short of graduating because she was kicked off the volleyball team for having "a bad attitude."
She later got her GED (equivalent of a high school diploma though the average professional success achieved by a GED graduate is about the same as a high school dropout) and says she was the valedictorian of her GED class of about 100.
I never heard of GED classes having valedictorians. Do they have Senior Balls too?
"Hi, I'm Sadie and I was the homecoming queen for my GED class."
"Hi, I'm Jack. I was captain of the football team for my GED class."
I don't think Rob Spallone got past fifth grade but look where he is today.
After Kareena dropped out of high school, she got her GED and went to college for a year. She lost her scholarship to FSU (Florida State University) after getting kicked off the volleyball team.
Then Kareena hitch-hiked around America for a year. While she was homeless, she did her first porn movie - Adventure Sex for producer David Rhodes. The movie has been nominated for a couple of AVN awards.
Kareena was promised 10% of the residuals. She's yet to see a penny of that.
Kareena makes her living as a bartender in a family restaurant.
Kareena says to Rob, "Your hands are shaking. Mine do too. We're going to get Parkinsons when we get older."
Rob's chopping up onions to make fried peppers, onions and sausage.
"My eyes are ------- burning," he complains.
"Don't use that kind of language around the ladies," I command.
"I can't see anymore."
"The girls are supposed to say that [during their scenes]," says Kareena. "You ------- dirty little bitch.
"I do like to talk."
"I like it nice and quiet," says Rob.
"If you talk to Rob during sex," I say, "he can't maintain."
"For all two minutes of it?" asks Kareena.
"He's always hitting on the chicks," I say. "That's our Rob."
"That's a lie," he says. "I can make sure you never
work in this town again."
"Are you straight?" she asks.
"As straight as can be," says Rob.
"Every porno guy is gay. If you have sex with two guys at one time, that's gay."
"That's called money," says Kareena.
"Your dick is not supposed to be near another guy's dick," says Rob.
The director complains that Rob's frying is too noisy. He sends an assistant down to the kitchen to pass on the word. Rob tells the assistant to put a blanket up to stifle the noise. Once Rob starts cooking, he doesn't like to be told to stop.
He cooked "Rocky Mountain Toast" for breakfast. Fried toast with an egg in the middle.
The kitchen counter is covered with food. "Yesterday I had them eat at McDonalds," Rob laughs about his low-budget gonzo shoot.
Scheduled for today are four solo girl scenes and two girl-girl scenes.
Rob plans to shoot two more of these softcore movies and then move into Penthouse hardcore.
The corporate headquarters of Penthouse magazine are now in Boca Raton, Florida. They maintain an office in New York and they are opening one in Los Angeles.
Don McDonald is the president of Penthouse Films. He stops by the set with his girlfriend and they eat Rob's cooking.
They don't die.
I tell Dani that I heard a rumor that she was dating Bob Friedland, CEO of Jill Kelly Productions.
She says that while it was not true, she did not mind such a rumor. "Bob can take me to Paris any time."
It's the more hurtful rumors that bother her, ones that extrapolate on her hyper-talkativeness and claim some chemical origin.
I find Dani a delightful chatterbox. I get her going on personality types, the subject of a book she's reading about the Myers-Briggs 16-personality type breakdown. Dani says she's an idealist.
That must be why she does porn.
In the industry on-and-off (once six months off) for 18-months, the 20-year old has the brunette beauty that could break this cynical journalist's heart.
A cynic is an idealist who has had his heart broken.
Ron Sullivan, who's shooting behind-the-scenes footage, returns from what he calls the "worst shopping experience of my life." He was buying stockings and nail polish for the girls who were most particular in their instructions.
Wednesday's shoot went smoothly, finishing only 30-minutes late.
A source: "That Dani Woodward. She chattered all day, from one subject to another. Crystal Klein said she thought she was going to be uncomfortable but then she got on set and she liked everybody and she had a good time."
