Sunday, May 28, 2006
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Kami Andrews Vs. XPT
Kami writes me: "they have changed the info on my account so all my old posts read "Kami Andrews" in an effort to get traffic to their site, they have banned me from being able to change it, so in fact anything on xpt that says "kami Andrews" is under tonys control not mine. Seems super desperate to me. half the time xpt is the kami show, it's pathetic."
Tony Malice responds:
After a few years of administrating XPT I have observed a few things about some of the people on the site. Forums, the Internet, and computers in general can be very addicting. Not unlike the crystal meth and various other drugs that Kami has admitted repeatedly to abusing.
From time to time, people addicted to computers, message boards, drugs and whatever else have 'freak outs' where they realize they are wasting their lives away.
Usually, what happens in the case of XPT is that these people change their 'Display Names' and passwords in attempt to lock themselves out of the site, a self imposed exile. In Kami's case, she is probably also trying to distance herself from her past, as at one time she was a frequent and well respected poster on the site.
It came to my attention late last night that Kami had changed her Display Name. So, in order to preserve the historial relevance and accuracy of our site, I changed it back to 'Kami Andrews.' To the best of my knowledge she is the author of all posts on the account, and I did not change her password. If her password is changed, my guess is it is her doing. I see her e-mail address on the account is also changed to a junk e-mail, my guess, again, so that she could not be able to retrieve it herself. If she wants her password reset she can call me or come by my office.
Kami has not posted on our site since December 15, 2005, so she can rest assured I have not been posting under her name, nor has anyone else. I would highly suggest to Kami that maybe she should spend more time taking care of her kid and less time drinking, doing drugs, and obsessing about trivial nonsense on the Internet.
What's The Difference Between DVD Replicator And Duplicator?
I thought VHS tapes were duplicated and DVDs were all replicated.
No, I'm told. With a replicated DVD, a big machine spits one out every three seconds. If you need 3,000 pieces of a title, you can go to L&M Optical West and get them replicated for 37c. Or you can go to Ray Pistol Duplication and get 50 duplicated at 80c each. Big batches are replicated and smaller numbers are often duplicated.
Gay companies, which sell smaller numbers, typically duplicate.
The quality is the same. The consumer will notice no difference.
Most producers are thrilled to sell 1,000 pieces of a title. The consumer typically pays between $12 and $75 per title. If you are the only store within 100 miles selling porn DVDs, you can sell new titles for $60 each.
James DiGiorgio writes:
Other terms for DVDs, besides "replicated" and "duplicated," are "pressed" and "burned." DVDs that are "burned" or "duplicated" are typically created this way when the producer needs a short run.
The equipment needed to "burn" or "duplicate" DVDs is way less expensive than the equipment used to "replicate" or "press" DVDs.
There is a problem with "burned" DVDs, however, and that is the slight purple cast you can see on the DVD itself. This is an indicator that the DVD was "burned" or "duplicated," rather than "replicated" or "pressed," and some retailers will not stock "burned" DVDs as they fear this is a greater indicator that the DVD might have been pirated.
How Does One Decide On A DVD Replicator?
All the replicators extend credit to a known pornographer. L&M Optical West, the biggest, can be particularly generous with their credit offerings (depending on your reputation) and offer the cheapest deals. But just because they are number one does not mean that they are licensed by Phillips.
The biggest DVD replicators in porn can be pirates (can go to China with your masters, replicate them illegally in huge quantities and sell them to distributors around the world who don't mind dealing in stolen product) and not pay their royalty fee to Phillips.
Many of the replicators will pirate product (illegally replicate DVDs) and sell them overseas. Many of the replicators won't pay their DVD royalty fees to Phillips and when the multinational cracks down on them, the replicator goes out of business and starts up as a new company.
Producers, replicators and distributors can get legal letters from Phillips saying that the DVDs you are selling are in violation of copyright law and here's a bill.
Media Factory lost their license for a couple of weeks and then they got their license back again.
My guess is that about a third of replicators in porn are licensed by Phillips (who does not care if a company is replicating porn so long as they pay a royalty fee).
Last November, Jill Kelly Productions prompted raids by U.S. marshals against replicators DVD Concepts, International Video Innovation, Inc and L&M Optical. JKP said those companies were illegally replicating their movies.
One source tells me the piracy case died because the three replicators had contracts with JKP to duplicate and sell JKP product if JKP did not pay them. The police never prosecuted after finding out the truth. I heard the companies never got the masters and copies back though because by the time the cops found out the truth, the whole JKP thing was tied up in bankruptcy.
Here are replicators with good reputations and I believe they are licensed by Phillips: Media Factory (San Francisco), RPD (Ray Pistol Duplications), California Conversions (Ralph and Robert), SPS (Paul Forneseck), IDM (International Disc Maker in Orange County), ADI (Advanced Digital Imaging in Chatsworth).
ADI is licensed by Phillips and they replicate for Disney and Buena Vista as well as porn. They typically charge 60-70s per disc.
ADI don't mess around. All your masters are kept in locked vaults. You can go online and look through cams to make sure your stuff is not being messed with.
It's not uncommon for a replicator (or any other business) to claim you owe them money when you've already paid that bill. So then you have to prove you paid the bill before they will leave you alone.
It's not uncommon for a replicator to charge you for work they have not done. When you go to get the product you've paid for, they will say, "Oh, we can't find it. We must've lost it. We'll give you a refund."
Some replicators will try to hold on to your masters. Or they'll claim they've lost the masters. They'll use the masters as leverage to try to get you to do more replication with them. They'll try to hold the producer hostage.
You might order a set number of pieces from a replicator and he'll replicate far more than what you asked for and he'll try to charge you.
Some replicators want to earn your future business. Others want to bite a piece out of you right away.
Packaging typically costs 15c per disc.
Houston Don writes:
Luke, I just watched the new Jenna Haze: Dark Side movie. There were a lot of religious overtones (between the scenes, she is in a confessional and ends by doing the priest) and since you're probably the only guy who comments on religion regularly, I was curious what you thought of the potential backlash of doing so (given the way the industry has been shying away from controversy these days).
Porn and religion are common themes in countries where the Roman Catholic church is dominant but in Protestant countries such as the U.S., pornographers usually shy away from intermixing these opposites.
AVN Editor Mike Ramone blogged April 12:
Judge Not, and Ye Shall Not Be Judged
That oft-quoted line, from the New Testament's Luke 6:37, rather pointedly opens the debut release from Jules Jordan Video - Jenna Haze Dark Side.
Are you taking notes all you religious right anti-porn types?
P.S. - Can't wait to check out the scene in the confessional...
Mike Ramone, who has a prominent review of this movie in the June issue of Adult Video News, emails me back:
Backlash? I think not. The religious right is just a tad pre-occupied these days with a little something called The Da Vinci Code; they’re probably not even aware of porn titles like Jenna Haze Dark Side (or Hustler’s just-released The Da Vinci Load). Besides, Jenna does a priest. Big deal. Such blasphemous scenes are a rich porn tradition – organized religion’s just comeuppance considering its’ sick anti-sex stance, not to mention Catholicism’s priest molestation epidemic (or as I note in my review in reference to the Jenna/priest scene: “Ripped from today’s headlines, as they say, but for the minor detail that this butt belongs to a babe, not a boy.”) Actually, the Dark Side scene is quite tame compared to say, Zupko's Ass Clowns (2001) for Extreme, in which, after getting air-tighted by multiple demon cocks as the Book of Revelation is read aloud, Kendra Jade tears up a Bible and shoves the pages up her bum.
James DiGiorgio emails:
The DaVinci code aside, what really bugs me (and it has for a long time) with the way Mary of Magdalana has been treated by Christianity--and the way her relationship with jesus has been debased--is how her historically-maligned character has been cast as the foundation (and justification) for Christianity's anti-sex, male-dominant, misogynistic views.
Roman catholics, don't have a monopoly on these attitudes; although they certainly have promoted them vigorously. Pornography probably owes a great deal of gratitude to the 6th century's Pope Gregory "the great" for his words and teachings about mary magdalene. This rabid promoter of celibacy, self-denial, and the superiority of men has been called the greatest influence on christianity since Jesus and, now, 1400 years later, we're still caught in the mire of "sex is a bad thing" and "women are subordinate beings."
Thanks, Gregory. You put the taboo in what we do and made it much more titilating and commercially viable. But there's another way to look at it: misogyny and similar themes, too often seen in contemporary porn, actually promote and uphold the lop-sided moralities of christianity! (relative to its views on women.) and that's one reason why i have a big problem with it, i.e., porn's misogynistic themes, because, in a sense, what we're doing when we portray women as subordinate to men is we are, inadvertantly, upholding those Christian mores that are so responsible for creating disparity between men and women.
Houston Don responds: "I saw Mr. Ramone's comments on the Jenna Haze Dark Side flick and it struck me as odd that he didn't make the connection that Extreme's the one getting hammered by those indictments too. Saying the title isn't "that bad" compared to.... doesn't change the fact that using religious themes in a porno is a bit more thematically dangerous than most other choices in that regard. As far as the Di Vinci Code preoccupying all of the time of the religious zealots, I sense that this is just wishful thinking on his part too since there are a lot of them out there, many who watch porn in-between self hate sessions."
Daniel Metcalf writes:
While I concur with Jimmy D's views on Pope Gregory for the most part, I still have to wonder if the strict Calvinist strains of Christianity were equally (if not more) responsible for creating the mood of sexual intolerance found in Christianity today. Regarding the DaVinci Code, there's nothing in the book or film (both of which I enjoyed) that wasn't published (and expressed more eloquently) years ago in The Messianic Legacy, Holy Blood, Holy Grail, and Rosslyn.
I think we can see this Puritanical anxiety taken to the ultimate extreme in the "have sex and die" theme of Divine Punishment that runs through many of the slasher films of the last few decades. Using the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise as a template, is it sheer coincidence that Jason (the "heroic" executioner) almost invariably chooses as his victims attractive young females who've just "damned" themselves by having promiscuous sex? Is it sheer coincidence that "Jason" means "Healer, The Lord Is Salvation" in Greek?
I get this IM: "And now a random thought from a man named Wankus: When the illegal aliens all marched in downtown LA, why didn't INS show up and put them on busses home?"
A Tale Of Two Distributors
One pornographer tells me he does not deal with IVD because they take forever to pay. But distributor GVA West pays him like clockwork. Another pornographer tells me he does not deal with GVA West because they take forever to pay, but IVD pays him like clockwork.
I guess that getting paid depends, in part, on your relationships.
Christie Lee Retires
I call Christie at 1 p.m. Thursday.
Luke: "When did you come to this decision?"
Christie, who turns 22 in September: "Four months ago. My mom called me. 'I've got glaucoma. My sister, 22, had lung cancer a year ago. They thought they got it all out but it's come back.
"I'm leaving at the end of July. It'll be the only first-class plane ticket I ever buy. There's no way I'm sitting in coach for seven hours.
"I'm looking to buy a house back home. Then I'm going back to college to study nursing. For my last two years in highschool, and for a year afterwards, I worked in a volunteer program at this nursing home. It had a bunch of Alzheimer patients."
Luke: "When you look back on your time in the industry?"
Christie: "It was a blast. I don't regret anything. I'm strong-minded. I don't let people take advantage of me. When I first got in the industry, nobody told me what was up, but I caught on fast.
"I'm not cut out for California. I'm such a homebody. I hardly go out. I just started to go out to a couple of parties to have some fun before I leave. I won't miss California."
Luke: "What don't you like about California?"
Christie: "Too loud. Too noisy. You walk down the street and no one looks at you. They always turn their heads. That's not friendly. One of my friends told me, 'If you look at someone, they'll think you're looking at them the wrong way and they might start something with you.'
"Before I came out here, I was living with a bunch of university students. They thought it would be great to do cams. Earn some extra money. We were all going to school and working part-time jobs. Then I shipped off to the U.S."
Luke: "How many friends do you think you'll keep from your time in the industry?"
Christie: "I don't have many friends in the industry. I have a lot of acquaintances. I know a lot of good people. I don't really hang out with anyone in the industry. All my friends aren't in the industry."
Luke: "How are you different from when you entered the industry?"
Christie: "So many ways. I was never independent. I would never walk down the street by myself back home. I lived in a town of 400 people. I wouldn't go anywhere by myself. I wouldn't call up people and say, 'Hey, you want to hang out?' I was a shut-in and I never liked to do anything. Being in this industry helped my confidence. I've learned how to deal with people. It's made my mind stronger. You have to deal with so many things. Especially because I live out here alone. I don't have any family. I rely on myself."
Luke: "Do you want to get married and have kids one day?"
Christie, who's bisexual: "I don't know. Maybe, if the right guy comes along."
Luke: "What type of guy can you picture yourself marrying?"
Christie: "When I date a guy, I have rules. One, never show up to my place unannounced. Two, don't ever assume that I'm going to drop everything to hang out with you. Don't assume that just because I'm dating you, I don't have a life.
"I want a guy who makes me laugh, is very independent, whose mind is strong, who loves animals. He doesn't have to be rich. He has to have a good job. If he has a good job, he's likely to be more confident.
"Materialistic things aren't that important to me. I was talking to my mom the other day. I have all these great things that I bought while I was here but I'm not happy anymore. It doesn't matter how many nice things you have. If you don't have family around you... If you don't have the good friends you grew up with...
"When I got in the industry [three years ago], I told myself, 'If there comes a time when I feel I need a change, I'm going to do it. Just like when I left Canada. I need a change. I'm going to do something else."
Luke: "How does your family feel about you working in this industry?"
Christie: "They're supportive. I'm a mini-celebrity back home. Everyone knows me. It's cool. It's just porno! I was promiscuous before I got in the industry. My parents were more worried about that. 'If you go and party, you might end up pregnant. You might catch something.'
"My parents know all about the industry. They're big porn connoisseurs."
Luke: "Before you got into it?"
Christie: "Yeah."
Luke: "Do your parents smoke pot?"
Christie: "No. I do recall a time when I came out here and after a couple of months went back home. My sister was a goodie-goodie. She calls me and says, 'I just got some pot. You want to come down and smoke it with me?' 'I said, 'What? Hell yeah?' It was a bonding moment for me and my sister. We'd never gotten along. We get home. My mother goes, 'If your father knows you are smoking pot, he is going to kill you.'
"My mom leaves. My dad comes out and says, 'What's your mom bitching about now?' I said, 'My sister is coming over and we're going to smoke pot.' My dad goes, 'Don't tell your mother this, but if you're going to smoke pot in this house, at least give me a few hits. I was cool one time back in the day.' He starts telling me all these stories about him smoking pot.
"My mom is so straightlaced. She doesn't do nothing. No wine. She'll smoke cigarettes.
"I couldn't believe it. 'Dad, you smoked pot? You're f---ing cool.'"
Luke: "Are you a bit of a drinker?"
Christie: "I love beer. It's my one fault. I drink it like it is water. I don't drink daily. But when I do drink, I can drink a lot before I get wasted. I can drink 18 beers before I get wasted."
Luke: "How much do you weigh?"
Christie: "I weigh 120. I'm 5'. I gained weight from drinking beer."
Luke: "You were little."
Christie: "I had to go see a nutritionist because my agent's like, 'You're too heavy.' I kick-box three times a week. When I first got in the industry, I was 100 pounds.
"I've had some bad times [in porn]. I like to look back on those times and laugh about it because they make great stories. Because I've come out ahead and a stronger person, it is cool to know that I've been there.
"I'm leaving with a smile on my face."
Luke: "But you also realized you weren't happy here any more."
Christie: "Yeah, because I missed my family. If my family was here, I'd still be doing this.
"You can't stay in porn forever. If you stay in porn past your time, you become extremely jaded and hate sets in.
"My happiness is more than money.
"I've saved up a lot of money. I've been smart.
"I'm buying a 5,000 square foot house on six acres of land. It's got an indoor swimming pool.
"When I was little, we'd go to the lake once in a week in summer and we'd pass this house and it was enormous. I'd say, 'Wow, mom. A princess must live there. I want to live in a house like that when I get older.'"
I'm leaving the biz simply because its time. I have been in the biz since I was 18 and I'll be 22! the industry has been good to me as well as all my fans. I have made my money, met some cool people but I miss Canada (the simple life) and my family. I haven't seen them in three years and my mother and sister are not doing well. I need to be with them. I plan on doing some cool vids with some companies. one company is Extreme, I'm going to co-direct my twisted life story. The other company is Evil Angel -- my favorite person and director, Joey silvera. I plan on doing some DPs and group scenes. I have the scene all planed out and they are going to be awesome! I wanna do some crazy cool s--- on cam that i have never done before, so I can say, "yep, i did it!" About my website. I'm going to shoot a load of b/g, b/b/g, group, and dp content in the next few months im here.
When I move back to Canada and buy a house I have been looking at, I'm going to have cams put up in every room so you guys can see what im doing and who I'm doing. It's going to be fun! I'm still going to be posting here as well as my yahoo group. How could i not? you guys are quit entertaining and crack me up with some of the posts.
...My family means the world to me. They have all been really supportive of me being in the industry, especially my mother, she is and always has been my best friend. I am soo excited to go home. I have been here for too long, I dont belong here. I'm a small town girl, haha. I enjoy the simple things in life, and California is way to fast pace for me. I almost feel like I lost myself here. I never use to worry about what I looked like, what people thought of me, having the latest fashion, going to the cool clubs..etc. Back home I would throw on a ripped pair of jeans, an old mans $10 t-shirt, some dirty old sneakers and a baseball hat and breakdown beaver dams with my father at camp,go fishing,or blueberry picking with my mother in the woods. The only noise back home is the loud train that would pass by across the street from house at various hours of the day. there were no clubs, my friends and I would go pick up some beer and head out to the bush, light a fire, get wasted and pray we didn't see any wild animals cause our rusty old ford pick ups were parked 10 mins away. Good times. Might sound boring to most people, but I miss it.
I'm the type of person who likes to try different things, to say, "yes i did it" like dropping everything back home when i was 18 with $20 in my pocket, a suitcase of clothes and a plane ticket. I had never traveled anywhere, never been on a plane and wasnt really independent. I proved to myself that I could be independent and do things like that. with every experience I have I take something from it that I know will make me a stronger person, good times or bad, and with that I never regret my decisions. What I take back home with me from this industry is, independence, a stronger mind, how to interact and deal with all kinds of different people, and what really matters most to me in life, family and friends.
Jill Kelly Productions Mired in Piracy Battle
Nov 16, 2005 court order. Nov 28, 2005 court order.
Isabel Ice Interview By Da Burglar
I find that the industry in America is more physically, and sometimes more mentally demanding, the sheer volume of work in the USA takes it's toll. In Europe there is no such 'capital' of porn like LA. The work load is shared out over several countries including Hungary, Czech Republic, Italy, and Spain to name a few. As for the cultural differences... there are many. European people I think, on the whole are more naturally kinky. The culture there doesn't put such a guilt trip on you for exploring sex and sexuality... I mean, I got a ticket in LA for topless sunbathing! Sunbathing? And I was made to feel like a sordid criminal, that I had done something terrible, and I was going to hell. (If only the officer knew...) I think that people there are more liberal with there sexuality, because it's easier when you're not being outcast and condemned.
The amount of times in LA I hear the boys stressing about how the balls of the second performer are bashing his, about how close their cocks are together. In Europe, this thought wouldn't cross the mind of the performers, and if it did, I don't think anyone really cares. There's a lot of labelism in the States that impeads peoples performace...haha... If I don't like the guys I'm working with, I get myself off by making them do a double anal, so I know their dicks are all rubbing up against each others inside my hole, it makes me wet!
I have a degree in Criminology and English Studies, which I finally finished, and I'm just starting another one in Modern Languages. As for whether or not my education has helped me in porn, I'm not sure... it certainly played a huge role in starting me off... I tell you the story... I left my poor town in Wales to live in Thailand teaching English as a Foreign Language for a year after college. When I finally returned to the UK, I went straight to London and started University. The expense of London was so great after volunteering for a year that I started work in a strip club called the Windmill in Soho, London... strip clubs there don't require you to dance too much, more like hustle for your cash. The guys pay you to sit down chating/dancing/eating per hour, but the problem is there are very few clients and loads of girls, and I hate hustling, so when the opportunity came up to make porn in LA, I packed my bags and never looked back... Moral of my story... DON'T get an education in London unless you have rich parents, or want to enter the Skin Trade.( you will be rendered poverty stricken if you don't) DO get an education, or at least half of one, in London if you want a semi-excusable explanation for the Folks as to why you became a cum-guzzling porn whore.
>What do you feel are the greatest benefits to being a pornographic film performer?
Lots of cool people, sex, traveling, Securing my finances, certainly an added bonus. Just a different look at life, a side that some people never experience. Not just the side on camera, but the lifestyle experience that comes with porn. It can get pretty crazy at times... I have dealt with a huge spectrum of situations and emotions that maybe I wouldn't have, if I hadn't started porn. When it's time for me to move on an leave the industry, I hope I leave happy, and with a whole lot of memories, good and bad.
For me, there are loads of drawbacks, but that's the same as a lot of things you choose to do in life... every job/path/vocation in life has pros and cons, and I made my choices so I'm not going to regret them. Things I think I'll miss out on for example, is I'd love to teach kids in school, but that won't be possible now. I feel like I've lost a few years with my family, because I don't really have anything to talk to them about in depth with out going into something about porn. For me, it's not a huge problem, but for others wanting to enter the adult industry, think carefully before you do, because you will get judged by Joe Public, which can sometimes feel like a witch hunt... I'm sure some people would love to burn some of us Porners alive!
Other draw-backs include the industry in Europe not being the same as in LA, so it's harder to find good work constantly. It's hard to find serious, meaningful relationships that are real, and you're not just settling for because there aren't so many options if you want to do your job properly. You have to learn a great self contol to be able to be happy, and keep jealousy under-wraps ect.
The last nice thing I did without expecting anything in return was today on set when I showed some chick the easiest way to stick a baseball bat up her ass, I also bought one of my roommates some moisturiser because he said his skin was dry this morning. People always do nice things for me, I'm really grateful to everyone being so cool when I go to work, or for picking me up and taking me to the doctors.. the last really BIG helpful things people did was this... When I had to move house unexpectedly last month, I got 'fostered' by Hannah Harper, Rebbeca, and Rio Mariah, until Arianna Jolle permanently adopted my homeless British ass.
[Isabel's boyfriend is] in the Italian industry, so he understands the mentality behind the movies. Of course it's very easy to be here in a different country for extended periods of time and get stressed, and jealous, but it's not worth it. I don't want to be unhappy, I want to be happy, so I do all I can to ensure he and I am. I've never had a reason not to trust him, so why should I give myself or him unneccessary grief? It is difficult to think of him with other girls, as it is for him with me and other guys, more so for him, because he knows me, and he knows I can potentially get turned on by any guy, young, old, fat, thin... it's all in the sex appeal, but I know he def. needs good looking girls, and a lot of the girls in Europe are drama queen and make it hard for the guys to work, so I'm confident I don't have to worry. Anyway, he wouldn't be with me if he didn't want me, and visa versa. Although sex on camera is 'real' it's very adrenaline inspired, what I do at home is very 'love' inspired... sex in porn and sex in private are two incomparable entities.
Suze Randall's 1978 autobiography was written by her husband Humphry Knipe.
It gives me a special thrill to read something that Holly has withheld from me for so long (about the only thing she's withheld from me aside from her virtue):
Everything started with a tiny advertisement in a London hippy newspaper called International Times: "Attractive girls wanted for nude modelling. No experience needed. Make up to 100 pounds a day."
I was...a dedicated young nurse at St. George's, the famous London teaching hospital...
...I'd met Humphry Knipe two months previously at the dinner party given in honor of my twenty-second birthday by six roommates, all nurses at St. George's... Tall, athletic, with dark hair parted down the middle, he had a bizarre, almost devilish air about him. His gaze was unusually direct and lingering, a particularly attractive quality in men. He was also a struggling author, and as impoverished as I was. I fell instantly under his spell, and my life was destined to be profoundly changed by this man who had written a book called The Dominant Man.
Humphry had taken a few [nude] pictures of me...
...Otto Kadulka...was a Jewish writer from Budapest, Hungary...but had been forced to flee when the uprising of 1956 failed. Now he was a publisher...
[Showing Suze various photos of his nude models, Otto] leaned over the desk and whispered, "She used to suck me off under dis desk whenever she came to see me."
"Oh, really!" I said...
Ben complimented me on my figure, which cheered me up so much I immediately got into the swing of posing. ...What fun it was to be the undisputed center of attention, to hear a constant stream of flattering comments from the photographer, to have all that film used up on me!
Ben advises her to get some prints off Otto and show them to nude talent agent Vicky Porter.
Otto pays her 17 pounds for her 8.5 hours of posing.
Nude models were regarded as little better than prostitutes.
...A pin-up model, like a virgin in times past, loses most of her value once she's been done.
After a few months, I was modeling quite regularly and on paper I was making three to four times as much as I was as a night nurse. But except for the very rare cash job, I wasn't actually taking home anything. I had to wait for Vicky to get paid, while the photographers had to wait to b paid by the advertising agency, who had to wait for the client. The poor model...often had to wait six months or more...
Desperate for money, Suze talks to Humphry (who earns 120 pounds a month teaching language in the mornings) about having sex with an old man for 50 pounds. He's amused. "It'll make a great anecdote in your memoirs," he tells her.
She got smashed and the sex was all over with the fat man in five minutes.
Suze says this was her only brush with prostitution.
...[A] pinup girl is...often broke, is unashamed about nudity, and who has such an attractive body that people are prepared to pay to see it. This means that for seven sweet years, from eighteen to twenty-five, she lives continually in a state of temptation. There's the photographer who promises to make her into a star if she'll go to dinner with him. There's the business type with a secret yen for pimping who says he'll be her manager if she'll spend the weekend with him in the country talking it over. Then, of course, there's the aging married man, often more honest, who offers presents or money, and no one need ever know, if the girl will spend a couple of hours with him in a hotel room. Of course, a few girls get to like the life of a high-class call girl.
I'm annoyed by the number of "of course" expressions. If something is "of course," you should just say what it is. The book's wordy, with too many "quites" and other fillers.
Two photographers turned Suze's career around -- David Hurn and Michael Boys. She got a new agent -- Doris Lester - and got paid quicker.
Very quickly I became Doris's star girl, which meant I lost more than anyone else when she killed herself [a year after meeting Suze].
...I'd always promised myself that if I were ever lucky enough to make it, I would never lose touch with my old friends like wicked people in fiction always do. Now I began to realize how difficult that was. I was learning the first cruel lesson of success. It didn't seem to me that with my expensive hairdos, professional makeup and fashionable clothes, I was becoming more glamorous. It seemed that my nursing friends were becoming more shabby and unkempt. It wasn't that I rammed my success down their throats, either. The problem was that they had plenty of opportunities to pay me compliments: they'd seen pictures of me in newspapers and magazines. But I really had to wrack my brains for something flattering to say about them. Also, I'd always thought that friends would applaud my success and listen eagerly while I talked about. That was so, at first. Soon, however, one unforgettable day over lunch at Miss Selfridge, a look of envy began to creep into even my closest friend's eyes as she sat listening, chin propped up by her forearm, to me blabbinb on about a modeling assignment in the south of France. It was then I realized I was on my own, that my friends of nursing days lived in another world, and that each month the gap between my world and theirs became more difficult to cross.
...On top of the financial strain was the problem of learning to live with failure. Much of my week was spent walking the streets with my modeling portfolio, going from casting to casting.
Suze spent $1000 for a Nikon camera. After six months of depression, she picked it up and learned photography, often from the men who photographed her.
She became known as "rebel cameragirl Suze," and she rode the women's lib movement to success.
I had the best gimmick in the business: a sexy girl taking pictures of sexy girls.
I also had an important secret weapon: Humphry, the power behind my throne. He was always there to kick around moneymaking ideas.
The models trusted Suze in a way they wouldn't trust a male photographer. They shot for her on spec, meaning they only got paid when she did.
Suze shot her first spread for a top Italian fashion magazine by sleeping with its old lecherous art director Sergio.
About a bisexual model, Suze says: "Alan's got a big cock and I'm a sucker for that."
"Has Humphry got a big one?"
"Yes, as long as your arm. You'll have to check it out when he gets back."
The book transitions into a Penthouse magazine-style sex scene between Suze and her model Soapy.
"You weren't lying. You do love it up the ass," Suze murmured.
After two years of photography, she sold a centerfold e and began to make good money.
I decided that [Inga, the blonde Norwegian beauty] would have to stay with me -- if I could get Humphry to agree. I'd tell him that I'd have her prancing naked in front of the camera from morning till night, and that would inspire his writing.
Suze met Alexander Wallace III, the head of Playboy's British operation. They became friendly. Suze secured a job shooting for American Playboy. She flew to Chicago with model Inga Andersson to stay with Hef.
To my private grief, Inga's room turned out to be noticeably larger than mine. In London she'd been my protege. I was the star sex photographer with articles about mei n the newspapers. She was just another model. Now the tables were turning. In Bunnyland the Playmate is queen. But I was determined not to be pushed into the background.
..."This is Christie Hefner," said Lenn [Fuller]. Immediately I realized that this was Hef's twenty-one-year-old daughter. Cautious of the girls who flocked around her father, she gave me a single, searching look, then pretended I didn't exist. "And have you met Mike Irving?; he works for Oui magazine?" Mike was tall, gawky with buck teeth, thinning grey hair, and a jovial manner.
"You're a photographer? Fantastic. Come up and see us at Oui sometime<" enthused Mike.
"Oui is a male chauvinist rag!" Christie interjected. She pointed out a cartoon in the magazine of an ass with tits tattooed onto it. "Now just look at this," she rattled on, "don't you agree this degrades women?"
I listened, highly amused, to Christie (who was later that year to join Playboy as Hefner's "special assistant") sending up Bunnyland... Eventually I got tired of hovering in the background listening to feminist prattle, and smiling mysteriously, I moved on. (pg. 95)
...Hef was one of the pallbearers at [Bobbie Arnstein's funeral], wearing a black yarmulke because Bobbie had been a Jew.
"Wow!" was all he had time to say as I proceeded to treat [James's] cock like a lolly, which, unlike a lolly, got warmer and bigger every time I licked it.
I boasted to Wes how I'd sucked off James and Andy.
"Here, I'll show you what I did," I volunteered.
...[W]hen it came to sex, I wanted to be the slave.
"Usually I only fancy men who dominate me," I explained with a sigh.
...The day after the orgy shooting Ed Kerr drew me aside and informed me with a smirk that I'd better go see a doctor because Andy, the assistant I'd sucked off, was being treated for the clap.
...I spent a lot of time sitting in the hall, pretending I was reading The Dominant Man, convinced someone important would ask me about the book. Wrong. On one occasion I purposely left the manuscript of Humphry's latest book next to the bowl of fruit in the great hall. I imagined that Hef's eyes, which seemed to miss nothing, would light on the title, The Divine Madness, and he would sit up reading it all night. But to my mortification it was tidied away by a butler and I had to recover it from the kitchen!
I carried a paperback edition of The Dominant Man around with me continually during those few days that Hef was in Chicago, and I was still carrying it in the morning he was due to fly back to Los Angeles.
[Suze calls Humph in London.] "I've given The Dominant Man to Hefner and now I'm going to give The Divine Madness to Normal Mailer," I told him.
..."No need for you to talk about dominance," [Norman Mailer said to Suze]. "You've got balls enough for the both of us."
..."Has success brought you more sex?" was my next one.
..."I'm the easiest lay in town," I giggled. "I'm not looking for romance but I'm game for almost anything."
..."Who wants to go anywhere with a ballbuster like Suze?" Percy [Goldstein] complained.
...[Hef] loves spending time brooding over articles about himself, and I've been told that he often whiles away the lonely early-morning hours watching videotapes of the now-defunct TV show "Playboy After Dark" which he hosted. I myself have seen him watch an old documentary about himself, sitting alone in the screening room, looking like a sleeping beauty sealed off from the world in a rose garden of nostalgia.
...Humphry often complained to me that for the first few months every visit [to the Playboy mansion] was an ordeal, that he used to break out in a cold sweat every time Hef condescended to exchange remarks with him.
"I've been ignored, cold-shouldered, and cut off more times by the entourage during a single night at the Mansion than the rest of my life put together," he told me more than once.
...But while doing my special version of the Charleston that September night, every now and then flashing a sexual lightning bolt, for perhaps five minutes I felt I was at the center of the world. Eclipsed stars stared, beauties gawked, caught off balance between delight and disapproval. Tongues froze, feet stopped. I was all the girls who'd ever danced on a table. I was the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. I was a fantasy of sex and success come true. I was sexess.
...Always I felt the pressure to perform, to shock, and amaze.
"I never f--- my models unless they make the first move," [says Suze].
Hef, as usual, was torn between his love of publicity and his need for privacy.
John writes: "I'd like to know how Suze was involved with David Hurn? Did he do pin up stuff? he has a reputation as a serious docu photographer. Also like to know if she knew Colin Osman he was a pin up photographer, publisher and co-editor of Creative Camera, the only really serious photographic magazine in the UK at that time."
Suze was a fashion model as well as a nude model. She did fashion photography for David Hurn.
I interview Humphry Knipe by email:
>I'm reading Suze. It says you are prodigiously hung. True?
Was, although it's all relative.
> What happened to your book, The Divine Madness?
Still unfinished. The title comes from Plato.
>What was it about?
"Madness and genius are close allied
And thin partitions do their bounds divide"(Forgot who said that.)
The book focuses on manic depressive poets, writers and prophets. The thesis is that periods of "divine" inspiration are often episodes of mania. It's a new look at the old madness/genius debate focusing on bipolars. I think you qualify.
As far as "Suze" goes the first sex scene (girl/girl) is fiction (the publisher's idea). The rest, unfortunately, is true.
>How did you feel about Suze having to sleep with people to get a layout published etc? Did that not fill you with rage?
I don't remember her sleeping with anybody for anything except personal gratification - she's not that sort of person. Except a threesome with Hefner but that was more a lark - you know "going to bed with history" and all that.
>The book says she had to sleep with this Italian guy Sergio to get a photo spread in a fashion magazine...and when you guys were broke, she had to sleep with some old fat guy for 50 pounds (arranged by Doris).
Ah yea, Sergio and the fat guy, forgotten about that. Didn't know either. I kind of her encouraged her on the second incident - when she told me a girlfriend had a trick going in Mayfair I said why not, try anything once - seemed kind of kinky at the time (this was the anything-goes 60's, after all). I think prostitution is pretty sad - much worse than porn. At least in porn you usually get to choose your partner and you don't get any fat hairy guys. Except Ron Jeremy.
Seka Recalls Salad Days of Porn in Autobiography
Carlos Martinez writes for AVN.com:
LOS ANGELES - Still looking much like the 25-year-old starlet of years gone by, the platinum-haired Seka laughs as she recalled her early years in the industry.
...Now 52, the still svelte former starlet is a little older and a little wiser, but just as adventurous as ever when it comes to sex, she reveals in her book which she is now completing.
With her premium Web site www.seka.com, the AVN Hall of Famer has joined cyberspace in giving a new generation the chance to see her get down and dirty with porn’s top stars of the late 70s and early 90s.
Has Danielle Derek inflated herself out of the game?
That Monkey writes:
I'm just curious on your thoughts, or the potential thoughts of your readers. Danielle Derek is a fiery performer. I've only seen some sample clips, but whoa, she does work! Her fragile frame was already short on support and her acorn shape ass was under heavy suspicion as well, but her newly inflated breast are making it hard for fake fun bag lovers like myself to justify.
My guess is she'll never be able to scuba dive with those floatation devices, and any hopes of jogging or most likely gone as well. Is it natural to have breast bigger than ones head? Should breast be 25% of your weight? I don't know who's in this girls head but they are giving her killer advice, CAREER KILLER!
What's The Scoop On TNAModels.com?
I keep hearing that they send out emails claiming to represent models that they do not. They list as many models as LADirectModels.com.
TNAModels replies to my inquiry:
We are a non-exclusive company and when we book someone they go to the shoot. Also we can't force anyone to do anything. If they didnt want to be on the site they wouldn't. Answer me this: Why would I have pics on the site and info if they weren't working. Thats the same as me owning a car lot and you come buy a car and I saw oh they are not for sale. Why own the car lot in the first place?
Yes we are not trying to steal talent from anyone. We feel that the industry is big enough for everyone so we avoid drama like this. Girls are switching companys and lying to their agents all the time. It boils down to this in talents mind, "who is making me money now" We work very hard to maintain good relationships with clients and with the talents. We work with a lot of talent because of the way we run our business, I would love to say what that is but people would just do it our way. Its What seperates us. Oh by the way we are always seeking new talent- Male, Female and TS models.
I'm told they also had a failed escort site under the name luckicharms.com.
Allie Ray Allie Ray Allie Ray Allie Ray Allie Ray, David Luger Allie Ray, David Luger
Red Light District director Luger hit Allie Ray and ran out of the house. She prepared a grapefruit juice coctail with Cascade (dishwashing detergent). When he came home, he purportedly drank it and supposedly passed out for a few hours.
Gen Padova spoke to him Wednesday night. She posts on XPT:
I've worked for David Luger a few times in the past. I've had his number for a few years to confirm my shoots when shooting for Red Light so when I read this story I felt I'd call him to see if he was okay. All due respect, I'm sure anyoene would call a person they think is a decent person to check on their well being. Well this is what happened:
Ring! Chick answers, "HELLLOOOOO" in a bitch voice.
I said, "can I speak to David please?"
She says, "well who the f--- is this?"
I said, "it's gen" She says, "and who are you?"
I said, "i'm talent, can I speak to him or is he not available?" she says "well if you want to talk about shoots then you should call his PA assitant GEORGE okkkkaayyyy?!?!" raising her voice at me.
I said, "okay, Okay! You dont have to be so rude with me."
She started to interrupt me so I ended it with "you dont have to be so rude to me you stupid f---ing cunt" a minute later, my phone rings...
It was David. I recognized his voice. I actually was surprised to hear the tone of voice. He obviously didn't know who I was, or what Gen it was on the other line.
He said, "who is this?" I said, "gen" he says, "my girlfriend said you were cussing her out!!!Dont be cussing her out you bitch!!!" then hangs up on me.
Minute later again..another call, this time his girlfriend again. I answer with a hello? She says, "who the f--- are you? what do you want you stupid bitch?"
I said, "I've known David for a few years worked for him in the past, im not trying to get in the middle of anything..." she hangs up.
Phone rings AGAIN (is this a drug addicts habit or something? Any drug addicts out there that can confirm this habit?)
David again on the other end. I answer with "stop calling me if you're gonna keep hanging up!" he says, "dont call anymore you stupid bitch!" then hangs up again.
Then I get a call from a random number 477-7473. Of course his drug addict psychopathic girlfriend LOL who else would it be from?
She says, "if I ever f---ing found out who you are you stupid f---ing bitch youi are going to regret it. Ill f--- you up, you stupid f---ing bitch"
Finally the calls stopped. I guess the coke or meth high died down by then. Who knows if David is bipolar or not but he has always been a kind, gentle director to work for. I have never had any complaints. Regardless if he's hurt his girlfriend or not, it seems as though she's the kind of drug abusing idiot that apparently tries to push people to see how far she can push before blowing someones cap. I'm sure the whore asked for it. There are victims of domestic violence who don't deserve it and there are those who ask for domestic violence by literally asking for it by starting a fight by a push of a shove or verbal abuse, whatever it may be. You know which one she probably is.
Enjoy guys. I'm ashamed someone of all people, such as David would stoop so low to date a piece of s hit like this. If David is at the bottom of the barrel, then who else in this industry behind the camera is worthy of partial sanity and all around general respect from regular everyday people in the industry.
Now I got a text message from this random phone number. It says: "stupid bitch. I had to change my number because of whores like you. You better tell whoever gave you my number it was a mistake and think twice before f---ing with my girlfriend. She really will cut your throat if she finds out who you are!"
David gave me his number a long time ago. Once upon a time, a Red Light District Director booked his talent all by himself and that's how little Gen got the number. Sorry but I dont try to date people in the biz. I'm not into that. LOL!!! The best part is, towards the end of that text he kinda clues me in that his girlfriend really is insane and protecting me because he knows he's in deep s---. Too bad he can't literally admit so. ONe day. GOD SAVE THIS POOR CHILDS SOUL, LORD HAVE MERCY!!! LMAO!!!
So I reply to the text with: "I'm not scared of pety threats. I will get the law involved if I have to. Some healthy future you guys have. Drop it already. I have nothing to do with this trouble. Bye" Ten minutes later I get a reply that says: "Thats right bitch! Go be a disgusting slut elsewhere try that s--- on another couple who isn't close dumb whose"
Yea, I dont think those were typos. That was the work of drugs frying the brain thus forgetting simple tasks as SPELLING! Or perhpas someone so scared, shaking and can't seem to push buttons properly. Eh who knows. You be the judge. Although I do have a empty place in my heart not know what the last sentence was suppose to mean or say. I'm gonna go cry now...
Christian writes on XPT: "I have known david luger since i first got in the business. he is super low key and never gets rattled. I am supposed to work for him on the 30th so we will see. I was supposed to work with Allie Ray last sunday, but she cancelled the day before the scene. Strange times in woodland hills!"
I've tried to reach David several times in several ways. He's not returning phone calls.
6:55 p.m. May 24. I call Allie. She says David is next to her and that he has nothing to say. I ask if he can just make a sound in the phone so I know it's him and that he's OK. She says no. She says he's mad that their fight has been splashed all over the internet.
I call agent Skooby Wednesday afternoon. He says he no longer represents Allie Ray. "Ohmigod," was his response to my questions.
I call Allie and David and leave messages. Allie's phone has David's calm voice saying leave a message for "Lovette."
I'm confused till I realize that is Allie's real name.
Allie calls me back.
"How did you get my phone number?" she asks.
"I called around the industry until I got it."
"You didn't get it from Skooby?"
"No. I don't know what's going on with him."
"I wanted to get my story straight before I f--- his s--- up," she replied. "And you can post that everywhere."
Luke: "I'm reading all this drama and wondering what the truth is."
Allie Ray: "That is so funny. I'm deleting my MySpace thing.
"Yes, it's all true."
Luke: "How's David?"
Allie Ray, with regret: "He's surviving."
Luke: "Is he mad at you?"
Allie Ray: "Hell no. He has no right to be mad at me.
"Whatever. Everything's fine now."
Luke: "Everything's fine with you and David now?"
Allie: "Yeah.
"I wrote that and someone totally copied and pasted it on Adultfyi. Wow! It's like that. I didn't know it was like highschool in the industry."
Luke: "Yeah, it is."
Allie: "Yeah, whatever."
Luke: "So David's totally fine?"
Allie: "Unfortunately, yeah."
Luke: "Are you guys still together? Is he there in the room with you?"
Allie: "Yeah, we are. We're going to try to work it out."
Luke: "Did he learn his lesson?"
Allie: "I'm willing to bet my life he learned his lesson."
Luke: "How much did he drink of that stuff?"
Allie: "Not enough.
"I'm just kidding. I'm still a little angry."
Luke: "How did he react?"
Allie: "He passed out for a few hours."
Luke: "Did you have to take him to a hospital?"
Allie: "I was about to call the ambulance and he, all of a sudden, rose up and was like, 'I'm not going there again.' I don't know if he thought the loonie bin.
"That's how the night ended."
Luke: "Did you guys have a conversation about everything?"
Allie: "Kinda. Some things are better left unsaid. After some things happen, you wake up the next morning, kinda have sex, and forget anything ever happened."
Luke: "You lead a dramatic life."
Allie: "I try not to but things just come up."
Luke: "Have you ever done this before?"
Allie: "I've never done that before. I've done other stuff, not to him. I'm not crazy though."
Luke: "It must be true love."
Allie: "Oh yeah."
They've been together almost six months, says Allie.
Luke: "So he wasn't mad at you?"
Allie: "Hell no.
"Usually when I write my bulletins, it is within five minutes of whatever I'm feeling. My emotions, totally being angry at the moment. I sure got a lot of comments on that yesterday."
Luke: "How long have you been in the Adult industry?"
Allie: "About seven months."
Luke: "Are you having a good time?"
Allie: "I was. I'm girl-girl now. That says it all. I don't get as much work doing the girl-girl. Even if I did, it's not the same."
Luke: "Is this because David's making you do it?"
Allie: "Pretty much."
Luke: "He doesn't want you banging other guys."
Allie: "Even though I think it's totally professional. It's just another person to screw and look good on camera.
"I had no idea [her bulletin was reposted elsewhere]. My agent called me this morning. Ech! I won't be posting much any more. I always get comments that my bulletins are so exciting."
Luke: "What do you love and hate about being a porn star?"
Allie: "I love showing up on set and meeting new people and putting on my, 'I'm cure, 19-year old [look].' Even though I am so much not 19.
"What I hate? I don't hate anything about it except maybe the whole mailed check thing. Having to track down the checks you earned f---ing for these people."
Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"
Allie: "I wanted to be a whale trainer at Sea World.
"If things don't work out with my boyfriend, I'll go back to boy-girl.
"He's lying down. I feel bad."
Luke: "What attracted you to him?"
Allie: "He's quiet and nice and professional and easy. That's about it. And that I was supposed to shoot for him. I shot for him one time. The second time, I totally fell in love with him. We were supposed to shoot a POV and we shot without the camera. That's where it all started.
"I'm going to go now. I'm going to jump in my pool. I'm sweating like a pig."
XXX porn source says: "Skooby no longer wants to represent Allie Ray. She's eye candy on his site. She's complete drama. When it was brought to his attention this morning, Skooby called her. It was on speaker phone with Leah Luv.
"Skooby has to talk to a lot of his girls as though they are in kindergarten.
"She was mad that it got printed on the internet. Why when it was published on MySpace?
"Skooby asked her, 'Is David alive?' She replied, 'Barely.'
"She said she couldn't talk. David was passed out in the other room.
"Skooby and Allie are laughing. Skooby's trying to play it cool.
"She calls Skooby back. Allie says David was blaming her for losing his keys.
"Allie Ray and David Luger are completely nuts together. David has a quiet personna but don't let it fool you. He started dating one of Skooby's talent girls [Allie?] and then he started putting all these rules on her towards Skooby and he get her to leave Skooby's agency. He wanted her with a female agent. She wasn't allowed to do boy-girl anymore. Skooby wasn't allowed to call her after-hours.
"Allie would play to Skooby messages from David where he's crying. She'd tell stories about him throwing temper tantrums and banging his head and his fist against the ground and crying, just because she wanted to go home for the night. He was pulling his hair out.
"Allie Ray has written stuff on MySpace before that's gotten back to Skooby, where she's said that she's grabbed scissors and tried to cut David.
"Allie Ray told Skooby that David flipped out, blamed her for losing his keys, grabbed her by the hair, and started throwing her around. He swatted her a couple of times.
"She went nuts. He locked himself in a room and started talking to himself. She said, 'I'm going to call the mental hospital on you. You're out of your mind.' He freaked out supposedly and said, 'Oh no, not again. Not again.'
"He bolted out the door barefoot, not completely dressed, and left for hours.
"When he came back, she made him a cocktail with grapefruit juice and Cascade (dishwasher cleaner, highly toxic) and wanted him to drink it.
"She tells Skooby this in a nonchalant tone. She said she did not know if he drank it. Then she had to go."
Allie Ray posts her first bulletin on MySpace:
ALLIE: May 23, 2006 7:50 AM im in another one of my moods today im irritated and today im actually pushing my boyfriend out the door as appose to stopping him, i cant wait till he leaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1my b/f and drinking partner is back in the service so i dont have anyone close to me to smoke and sit at the pool and drink. does anyone live near by????????? that wants to come over??? ----------by the way im selling/giving away about 300 dvds today well pornos im getting rid of all the movies my boyfriend directed they have been in a box but im getting rid of the box 2 its pointless having it around and besides it doesnt help him to be reminded that before i came along he was as pathetic enough to shoot pov and have to pay girls to get some action loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so im doing the honors in getting rid of them mabe for like 5 bucks these movies dont mean s--- anyway hit me up on myspace or just call 818 47X XXX3
Allie Ray posts her second bulletin on her MySpace:
im sorry for the last minute cancellation but david luger has lost his mind, i might be checking him into a hospital im not sure yet he lost his keys this morning and threw a tantrum and hurt the only person who has ever loved him he lost his mind and hit me three times pretty badly im strong though and im a nightmare so believe this poor bastard has made the biggest mistake of his over the hill life! my handy work is probably happening right now ive poisoned him he is slipping away at the moment asking me to stay by his side booooo hoooo he says i dont know whats wrong with me? well this is my confession im killing the motherf---er cuz im heartless and i have no remorse for men who use there strength to hurt others im sorry for whoever is, was hired tomarrow but i doubt david luger will survive this and if he does its only cuz i let myself help the son of a bitch . ( p.s all you people who think you know quiet david luger your mistaken this man is a walking time bomb hes crazy and doesnt say very nice thing about his co workers or anyone so if your going to even think to make a bad comment to me on his behalf for your sake think again! the last thing anyone need is someone like me on there bad side.
official!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Body: im shocked right know he is crazy its like insane he starts yelling in the bathroom crazy s--- i go in there and hes trying to kill himself hes crazy i take the razor out of his hands scared it will cut me and then he balls up on the floor screaming and wrapping a towel around his head hes crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then i tell him stop this !!!!!!!!!!he looks in the shower and starts saying to himself over and over again " we should of killed her ross" " we should of killed her im so confused i say whos ross???? who are you talking to???? theres no one there so then i say im calling an ambulance i dont know what else to do by then im thinking s--- im about to die i hear his footsteps pounding down the hall i was scared but then he runs down the stairs and says there not taking me away again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and runs out the door barefoot out into the street and i dont know what to do what do i do ???????????????????????????? what does he mean by there not taking me away again ??????????/ i want to die right know i feel like s--- im tired and beautiful me looks tired what do i do ??????????????? its late hes out barefoot and he has no phone on him
Allie Ray posts about herself to her MySpace:
"ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR" ...... MOTHERf---ER! (Edit) About Me: MY REAL NAME IS LOVETTE ARAGON BUT MOST PEOPLE NOW KNOW ME AS ALLIE RAY I AM HALF SPANISH HALF FILIPINO. IM TOTALLY CRAZY AS HELL I WILL ADMITT IM UNWELL AND VERY SCREWED UP IN THE HEAD. I HAVE A TRAIN OF THOUGHTS THAT FOLLOW ME EVERY DAY EVERYWHERE I GO ITS TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT WATCH OUT FOR THE QUIET ONES PROVEN BY MYSELF HALF THE TIME IM STORMING UP IDEAS IN MY HEAD ON HOW TO f--- UP THE NEXT BEST THING COMING MY WAY THATS A BAD HABIT OF MINE!!!!!
IVE RECENTLY TURNED INTO A DRUNK ASS I SMOKE WEED ALL DAY AND THE DAYS I HAVE OFF OF WORK I USUALLY SPEND DOWN AT VENICE BEACH ON BLOW ALL DAY!! WELL IF THAT ISNT BEING HONEST ABOUT ME TO THE WORLD I DONT KNOW WHAT IS, IM ON MY SPACE TO KILL TIME AND TO GET MY MIND OFF WHOEVER IS PISSING ME OFF THAT DAY. I TRY AND BE A GOOD PERFORMER AT WORK AND BE NICE AT WORK WHICH IS HARD, ,,SOMETIMES THE GUYS I WORK WITH THINK THEYRE THE f---ING DIRECTOR WHICH DOESNT SLIDE BY ME OR REALLY ANY OTHER SMART GIRLY IN THE INDUSTRY WHICH IS WHY SOMETIMES 5 OUT OF 10 TIMES THATS THE CASE I STILL TRY TO BE FUN AND GOOFY OTHER THAN THAT.
I f---ING LOVE MY JOB I GET PAID TO RUB MY CLIT ALL DAY AND GET OFF ON FILM I AM SURROUNDED BY SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AT WORK I GET TO TONGUE KISS GIRLS THAT GUYS AT HOME WISH THEY HAD=0) AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT IM ALIVE CUZ OF PORN!!!!!!!! AINT NO ONE OR NOTHING GONNA CHANGE MY WAYS IM CURRENTLY INVOLVED, AND IN LOVE LIKE I THOUGHT ID NEVER BE WHATS BETTER THAN HAVING SEX AT WORK HAVING SEX AT HOME WITH MY VERY OWN DAVID LUGER HIS WORK ALONE GETS ME OFF AND YET I GET HIM AT HOME TOO!!! IM LOVING THE s--- OUT OF HIM!!!!
MY HONEY IS A DIRECTOR OVER AT RED LIGHT DISTRICT SO HE DEFINETLY LAYS IT ON ME AT NIGHT JUST THE WAY I f---ING LOVE IT !!!! IM GOING TO MARRY HIM EVERYONE I LOVE HIM AND I LOVE LIFE AND I LOVE ALL THE MOTHERf---ERS WHO BUY MY DVDS AND STROKE THERE COCKS TO ME !!! HEHEHE !!!! THROW LIPS AT THE s--- MOFO!!! J/K I AM LIVING THE LIFE AND LOVIN IT IM HONEST AND HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING A PERVERT AND I MIGHT COME OFF VULGER BUT I CANT SAY I CARE IF YOU THINK THAT,,,, IF YA LIKE ME YA DO; IF YA DONT THEN YA DONT, IM STILL GOING TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allie Ray writes on her MySpace: Books: THIS MIGHT COME AS A SHOCK BUT IM TOTALLY A CHURCH FIEND ON SUNDAYS IF I CANT GO TO CHURCH CUZ IM SOO HUNGOVER I WATCH JOEL OSTEEN ON CHANEL 5 8:30 EVERY SUNDAY SO NATURALLY I HAVE HIS BOOK YOUR BEST LIFE NOW I TOTALLY RECOMMEND READING IT FOR A BEST LIFE NOW!!!!"
Allie Ray posts to MySpace/Lukeisback: "hope you dont think im crazy=0) just a little////////////mabe a lot=0) j/k --oxox allie ray"
I heard that Leah Luv called Red Light District, where David directs, and let them know the score.
Allover writes to me on XPT: "Do you consider the career choice of pornography a precipitent of that f---ed-updedness, a wholly seperate and damaging element of involvement unto itself, or is pornography to you a career choice no better or worse for a person than the psychic health they bring into it as they join it and go?"
It varies on the individual. Each person reacts to porn differently though I do believe that certain trends can be seen in the effect porn has on people. It tends to make them more open-minded and sexually aware. Pornographers can teach us a lot about losing our hang-ups and being more loving and kind.
Monstar writes on XPT: "f'n luke. did you just lift the stuff off of my site or coincidently change the exact same numbers I did in her phone number?"
I reply: "I just lifted from your site your lifting of her bulletins. And I linked to you twice when I did it. At least I don't wear mascara."
Stains replies: "But you do need concealer. Bitch, I've seen pictures of your skin."
Monstar responds to me: "I'm still not adding you as a myspace friend but I will share my MAC eyeliner with you. fair enough?"
Tony writes: "Yeah I gotta side with Luke on that one, there is not much required protocol when you're lifting someone else's lift. By linking you back, that is his way of giving you mad props for preserving the evidence in such a timely fashion."