Sunday, March 19, 2006
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Ann Jones has finished seven paintings now.
Twenty minutes. I'd like them back.
I'm not familiar with the genre of "incredibly boring interviews with incredibly boring people," but I think you're making it into your own personal niche. I have no idea why you're seeking out people more tedious and empty than the interviewer (that would be you) to talk to.
I especially liked the part about the Jewess and her family holding up cards with numbers on them at the dinner table to describe how their day was. It's like The Royal Tennenbaums without the incest, mescaline and Gene Hackman.
Maybe next week you can feature a special interview with a person raised by nuns that makes documentaries about cardboard factories?
Kaiser Sauze replies:
Arab, to be fair most people without a vested interest would have given up on reading that article/interview after the first 40 seconds. It's a niche piece, thus posted on his .net site. I am surprised you dedicated the whole 20 minutes.
Luke is an easy target, but do you really find him "tedious and empty"? I think his transparent moral duality and the fact that he bares his weakness in dealing with it is morbidly fascinating, almost courageous.
Smiling Arab writes:
Hmm, I think that came out wrong. What I meant to say is that Luke is probably the only reporter more interesting than any of his subjects. For whatever reason, he picks these dead souls wandering on the fringe of American literature, sociology and politics. It's funny when he breaks them down into the fundamental building blocks of matter, like that "sex-positive" hipster awhile back. It's less so when he takes dreary people at face value. I mean, women like this--happy lives, happy childhoods, no conflicts, one big happy face presented to the world--have pretty much destroyed literature for now and all of time. I don't blame kids for melting their brains into a plasma TV with Grand Theft Auto on it: by and large, Pong is more interesting than anything these people have to say, in print or in interviews.
Secondly, conflict--internal, external, displaced, implied--is Luke's thing. He may be as much of a honkey as any descendent of British thieves and pederasts but it's strictly an Asian trait to ascribe merit to the complicated man who struggles with issues compared to the Westerner that believes he's got it all figured out. The love/hate relationship that he has with his subject--which has been going on for, oh, six or eight years now--is what sets him apart from some mindless drone like sexycity, caging drink tickets from the drugged and generally taking up the space that could be better used by importing some Chinese prole willing to work 18 hour days for a bowl of dog food.
SabrinaLuvs posts: "Hey Arab! People on the board like what you have to say so I'm curious to know what you would consider interesting to see Luke write about on his site that's more interesting than the writer himself?"
Smiling Arab writes:
Fine, Arab's five helpful steps to recover Luke's mojo:
1. More Jim Goad. It's bizarre, you already know the most brutal, savage writer of this generation yet you ponder whether or not the Holocaust destroyed the linear narrative of Jewish literature with Homely Spice.
2. More Amalek. I know he's your pretend friend and everything but he hasn't been around since Holly came back around. I realize I'm encouraging your split personality here but DANCE MONKEY BOY, DANCE.
3. Fewer shrill harpies in your life will improve your complexion and make for better reading, so get rid of Cathy and the rest of the weird yentas. More Kendra, more Mary, and what happened to Rob Spallone stealing double-A batteries from the Kwik-E Mart?
4. Schedule more interviews with producers and directors. The best Luke story ever was when Buck Adams had a nervous breakdown on set while your tape recorder whirled away. While you're at it, "What kind of kids did you hang out with in high school?" is not an interesting question, though I'm amused that you're asking it both of whores and creepy Jewish chick writers concerned about the non-anthropological perspectives on their community.
Finally, the one that will really set you on the right path: Interview David Duke. The man is a whore and will speak with anyone that will ask. You, L-ke Ford, are the perfect man to wave a microphone in his face:
a.) You're Jewish (well... not to real Jews, but to Duke you are), he burns crosses, it's hilarious,
b.) Unlike your yenta posse, he's actually led an interesting life, and he'll probably ask you for a few numbers of porn chicas if the rumors are to be believed,
c.) He's had more plastic surgury than Houston, so you can recycle most of your porn star questions, and
d.) Because deep down, despite waving your tefillin around to all and sundry, you agree with him on just about every social issue except for the gas chambers, and I think the two of you seeing eye-to-eye on things will bring about the kind of closure that Jew and Gentile need.
Mary Carey, Kendra Jade Update
Mary leaves me a message Friday night.
Kendra is screaming in the background to be saved from Mary's flatulence.
Mary gets fecal.
Saturday, I call Kendra at 7:45 p.m. "Mary and I always get along fine when we're together. Have you been reading my new blogs?
"I've been devoured by Anne Sexton."
Luke: "Who's that?"
Kendra: "Only the greatest poet of all time. She was controversial in her time because she was a woman and wrote about masturbation and incest.
"She tried to kill herself a bunch of times. Finally she succeeded. She wrote dark poetry.
"Every single one of my exes is on my [MySpace] friends list. Most of them are in the top 40. They're not really my friends though."
Luke: "What's the latest with Bobby [ex-Vivid girl Cassidey]?"
Kendra: "I let her get the remainder of her stuff this morning."
Luke: "So you didn't throw it out?"
Kendra: "I threw a lot of it out."
Luke: "That solved the problem?"
Kendra: "Yeah. If you can put an end to the drama, you should."
Luke: "Did Holly ever get in contact with you?"
Kendra: "She didn't."
Luke: "I tried. She's distant. Everything is when she wants it.
"How's your weekend?"
Kendra: "Mary and I are controversial people. We can draw a big crowd. We get mainstream press.
"I'm going to church tomorrow. I have a friend who's a famous musician. He's played in front of millions but he's nervous about speaking."
Luke: "Your spelling and punctuation is not getting any better."
Kendra: "Shut up. It's because I'm lazy. If I wanted to, I could hit spellcheck."
Luke: "You should do it right."
Kendra: "Why?"
Luke: "Because it makes you look like a moron if you don't."
Kendra: "What do I care about what I look like?"
Luke: "You should. You should have self-respect."
Kendra: "I do have self-respect."
Luke: Then act like it. "Spell and punctuate correctly."
Kendra: "Does the way people perceive me completely depend on my spelling and punctuation?"
Luke: "Would you go out wearing dirty filthy clothes?"
Kendra: "I've been known to do that."
Luke: "If you were looking to feel good about yourself and be pleasant to be around, you wouldn't.
"If I get an email from someone I don't know that is not spelled and punctuated correctly, I don't take them seriously. I lose all interest in dating them."
I had a singles ad running about six weeks ago. I got about 40 responses. The only ones I took seriously were correctly spelled and punctuated, even if the photos of the chicks were hot (OK, I did call and email them back but I did not take them seriously).
Luke: "I would not date someone who spelled and punctuated as you do." It shows ignorance and a lack of standards and of basic self-respect. It screams slob.
Kendra laughs. "That's ridiculous. I could be the best person on earth."
Luke: "And I wouldn't date you."
Kendra: "That's just because you're a writer."
Luke: "Maybe. Holly is the same way. She wouldn't date someone..."
She might sleep with them, but she would not consider them boyfriend material.
Kendra's 16-year-old sister leaves to go bowling. "Have fun at work," she says. "Bring home that money."
Kendra: "That money [enables] her to go bowling tonight.
"She just informed me that she needs a lightbulb in her bathroom because she's been showering in the dark.
"Neither of them drive.
"The other day, I said to the older one, you drive. Within 30 seconds of leaving the driveway, she hit a parked truck."
Luke: "I'm reading your poetry."
Kendra: "You can't read it and get it while you're on the phone. I feel like the poem I did today (Confessions to my Therapist) is one of my best ever."
Luke: "It's not punctuated right."
Kendra: "That's the point. You can't punctuate a poem correctly. Do you want to be my editor?"
Luke: "No. You should do it yourself."
Kendra: "I'm too lazy for that."
Luke: "It makes you look bad."
Kendra: "I'll fix it, but not tonight, I have to get my fat ass to work."
Luke: "How much do you weigh?"
She stands 5'1" and weighs 115 pounds. "I gained seven pounds since I've been sober (eight days). It's common. You turn to other sources of addiction like food or cigarettes.
"I'm starting my new diet tomorrow. I'm fasting starting tomorrow for maybe 20 or 30 days. I'm going to fast until I can't stand it anymore. The last time I did it I lasted 20 days."
Kendra leaves to strip at Spearmint Rhino.
MattsModels Falls In Love With 19yo Model Jasmine
She's 5' 3', she's from back East, she's smart, she's a student, she plays music and she has a real funny sense of humor. Apparently she likes to enhance her personality with Mushrooms every once in awhile. I think this is because they grow near the wild land she lives on?
Do you think she should do B/G? Frankly I'd rather just make her my concubine, hmmm, I wonder if she's interested? Yeah but that kinda shit just pisses people off in the Porn Industry. Oh they hate it when these girls start shacking up with the photographers, producers, agents or male talent. Yet it happens all the time; it's just that not everyone admits to it or they don't talk about it.
Matt's Models just got re-reviewed by the TheBestPorn.com which places it in their top ten of all Adult sites on the net.
Last Person Kendra Jade Had Good Sex With
She blogs: "Depends how you look at it. Good sex means to me, having it with someone on a completely physical, spiritual and emotional level. If I look at it like that, it's been a long long time. If you're talking about one night stands that maybe lasted a few weeks, not so long ago."
Rod writes:
G'day Luke, Just wanna thank you for the subtle work that you've been doing. Thought it was very insightful the article you wrote about Mary Carey. What a pain. Thanks for your honesty in dealing with the problem.
Mate, I got to your web through a "Christian" anti-porn site.. was encouraging people to keep up to date with was going on in the world of pornography through your site. I guess as a way to be able to relate and know where a lot of the people involved in the industry are comming from. The whole problem amazes me, especially as I have had pornography as a way of scape from reality for quite for quite sometime.
I want to encourage in the work you are doing.... Love the idea of bringing life and hope to the life of those people. We all need it... I really feel for them. Sometime I hope I would be able to meet and just talk to some of them just to be able to empathise better with the pain that is partly mine. I have tried to get in touch with Cassia Riley once. It broke my heart to read an article about her in your web. Maybe it comes out of my love for the community.
A Godly person writes: "Luke, Someone sent me this article below about Mary Carey. It is so weird because I was up all night praying for her and couldn't get her off my mind. I don't even know her but feel I am to reach out to her."
Joe Friday, Reina Leon Break-up?
I was emailed: "Rumor has it that performers Reina Leone and Joe Friday have called it quits. The two joined the adult industry in 2004 while both were still working as San Francisco police officers. After co-workers discovered scenes featuring the couple on the internet, the duo was forced to leave their jobs."
Bill Margold Responds To AVN's Mark Kernes
He tried unsuccessfully to post to AVN's blog:
One man's "dreams" can (all interested parties are invited to watch me "do" Kernes in my portrayal of The Bellow Brothers in Jim Holliday's SHE DEVILS IN PINK) become another man's nightmares. But my sentiment was kicked back. Guess that blog really does mean "bloated losers omitting gas" after all.
Also suggested that Sir Marksalittle is AVN's version of Flounder from "Animal House." And that if it weren't for him being able to hide AVN's masthead, he would have vanished from sight and mind a long time ago.
Finally I concluded that he should "wake up" from those naps that I used to notice him taking during Free Speech Board meetings. Indeed!
Kendra Jade, Mary Carey Dance At Spearmint Rhino In The City Of Industry
Mary flew into LAX Friday afternoon from Washington D.C.
"I spent $4,000 on my trip to D.C.," she tells me at 2:20 p.m. "I'm upset. Maybe Legend will reimburse me. I have a videotape of me on Your World With Neil Cavuto. I want you to watch it.
"I don't think I'm going to make my first show. It's at 4 p.m.
"Kendra and I haven't rehearsed what we're going to do. We've both been on the road. I'll let her choose the music."
Kendra did not get home from the club until 4 a.m. Friday.
She's been sober for seven days.
I call her at 2:30 p.m.
KJ: "I'm sitting in traffic on the 101."
She yawns.
There's no alcohol served at this Spearmint Rhino.
KJ: "Holly hasn't written me back yet. Holly and I would be good for each other. We're both trying to get away from the stupidity of this business."
Kendra has custody of her two younger sisters. One is in community college (purportedly a good student) and one is in highschool (a bad student). Neither drive. Kendra complains about the quality of California's public education.
Kendra says she used to read a book a day. Now she hasn't read a book in a month. She's in a funk.
Holly and Kendra have many things in common (they love to read, they're blunt and funny, they are about the same age) aside from their adoration of me and they're trading email about hanging out.
Holly has mastered spelling, punctuation and grammar. Kendra has not.
Kendra responds: "I HAVE , indeed , mastered punctuation , grammar , and spelling. Just to lazy to care ! Don't you know I was an honors english student , and won every spelling bee ? National championship , babe!"
Holly is organized while Kendra's flakey. Kendra's emotionally open while Holly is emotionally closed. Neither of them have female friends. Both of them surround themselves with guys they've slept with. Both of them are love addicts. Both are prone to affairs and love triangles. Both have most or all of their exes on their MySpace friends list. Both like having their hair pulled.
Neither have married or had kids or been pregnant.
Both are prone to depression. Kendra will take medication for it while Holly will not. Both like depressing music and literature. Both are prone to drinking heavily. Both are self-destructive, clumbsy and klutzy. Neither of them do hard drugs regularly but they have experimented with almost everything.
Both of them take better care of others, at times, than they do of themselves.
Both of them earn far more money than I do. Both are generous to degrees that boggle my mind. Both take on responsibility for their family and their younger siblings. Both of them have thick skins and have allowed me to write about them with a freedom that few other women have permitted me. Consequently I've written more about Kendra (the only three-dimensional female character in my memoir, "I don't see why you didn't end up with her?" says my friend Cathy, who writes a forward to my book) and Holly than any other women.
Holly and Kendra are more precious to me than any other women in the industry. Consequently, I want to see them out of the industry.
Luke: "When are you getting out of the sex biz? I guess that's not possible if you have house payments?"
KJ: "It's not possible now. I am responsible for providing for my sisters. I have a lot of needs that have to be met. Maybe once I don't have those demands then I can put my energy into something else."
Luke: "What happened to your music?"
KJ: "I still work on it here and there. I don't actively pursue it. I don't have the same kind of passion for it that I once did.
"I'm in this lethargic robotic mood these days. It's hard to focus and function when you're depressed, outside of sleeping."
For about three years, Kendra lived with a guy in the music industry. She enrolled in a program to convert to Judaism (along with Raylene, the ex-Vivid girl who married Steve's younger brother Brad). They were going to marry. Then they broke up. Kendra dropped out of the conversion program.
KJ: "I've got to find something that inspires me."
Luke: "That's what working in this industry does to you. It kills the passion."
KJ: "Kills the passion for everything?"
Luke: "Yeah. I can't think of anyone in the industry who has great passions [and accomplishments] outside of the industry."
KJ: "What about Jenna?"
Luke: "She's passionate about Jenna."
KJ: "I did the Henry Rollins TV show the other day. It airs the first week in April. They were asking me all those types of questions about what effect it has on me. Questions nobody asks. I was really honest. I think it is going to be bad for me."
Luke: "Do you prefer dancing to making porn?"
KJ: "Obviously I would rather dance. If you think about it, it's not that different. You're still selling yourself. Mary loves dancing. She loves the attention. If she didn't have this business, I don't know what would happen to her.
"I rebel against it. It's like beating your head against the wall. I rebel against it over and over again yet I always stay with it. I get mad at Mary for staying with things but I am obviously a hypocrite. I stay with something that makes me miserable."
Luke: "You're no closer to getting out."
KJ: "I don't know what else is out there for me. This is all I've known since I was 18."
Luke: "If you worked as a secretary somewhere you'd be happier living in a 300 square foot apartment."
KJ: "That was true ten years ago. It would be hard to walk into any job today and say, 'I've had no work experience for the past ten years.'"
Kendra calls me at 3 p.m Friday. "Who is Derek Hay?"
Luke: "He's the biggest porn agent. He runs LADirectModels."
Kendra: "I've never heard of him."
Luke: "What's up?"
Kendra: "He's threatening me on Bobby's [former Vivid girl Cassidey who has had her troubles with drugs and was Kendra's roommate until they got in a physical fight March 1, 16 days ago] behalf."
Luke: "He loves to threaten people."
Kendra: "He called me. He was asking for Bobby's stuff. I said I don't have her stuff. I threw it away. She left it for 30 days. She didn't call me. She didn't do anything.
"He said, there was a box of personal papers there.
"I said, yeah, and I threw it out.
"He said, if that is indeed the case, you know this is not the end of this. Somebody is going to have to suffer the consequences.
"I said, are you threatening me?
"He was like, oh no, of course not.
"I said, if you have any problems, you can call my lawyer because after 30 days, it is abandoned property.
"He was like, yeah, you'll be hearing from me.
"He's going to have another thing coming if he threatens me because he doesn't know the people I know.
"Is he anyone I have to worry about?"
Luke: "No."
Bobby tells people Kendra is crazy, but it was Bobby who flaked on the Suze Randall shoot a month ago. It was supposed to be a Bobby-Kendra girl-girl but it ended up being two sets of just Kendra. Bobby was up all night fighting with her boyfriend over the shoot (she had committed to doing it). He didn't want her to pose nude. In the end, she gave in.
Mary calls me at 3:12 p.m. and invites me to her show.
"I hate strip clubs," I say.
"So do I," she confesses. "You're single now. You should go."
I'm not going to seek a woman in a strip club.
"We could sit in the dressing room together.
"It's not my fault I'm running late. It's the weather. It's American Airlines fault. They should have to pay me if I miss my show."
Luke: "Good luck."
Mary: "We should go eat at that vegan place on Sunday."
Luke: "It's the LA Marathon. I won't be able to drive out of my neighborhood."
Mary: "Can anyone sign up?"
Luke: "It's too late now."
Mary: "Damnit. That would've been fun to try.
"I'm going to have to start training. I'm going to enter this.
"Running has always hurt my knees. Still, I can still do it. It would be good publicity.
"Did you and Holly fight a lot?"
Luke: "No. It was low intensity. Neither of us likes conflict. Holly has a lot on her plate."
Mary: "You're not good at dealing with drama."
Luke: "I'm not. But Holly is the furthest thing from a drama queen. Holly is headed off in new directions."
Mary: "You should be there for her."
Luke: "Kendra's been going through a lot."
Mary: "Aww."
Luke: "That's why she couldn't be there for you the past three weeks."
Mary: "She seems like such a strong person."
Luke: "She's a strong person who is depressed."
Mary: "I should see a therapist too. But they're so expensive. You're my therapist. And you're free. I just call you up and talk. You have to start answering my problems. I'll take you to Jerry's Deli in exchange.
"I didn't know you paid by the hour. I went to a therapist once. I thought he was being really nice. We went for two-and-a-half hours. He charged me about $600.
"I decided to never go back again. I talk too much. I'm a therapist's dream. They can make tons of money off me. I always have lots of problems."
A friend calls me. "Does Mary do private shows?"
"She doesn't hook," I respond.
"Oh," he says, disappointed.
HollyRandall: all i have is my dog
Luke: Huh? What about your relationship with God?
HollyRandall: i don't have one
Luke: The consolation of good literature. Books let you know you are not
alone. The life of the mind. The consolation of philosphy, of true knowing.
HollyRandall: yeah XXX and i used to always have this arguement
HollyRandall: he told me i need to read self-help books and I said I hated
those. I could read between the lines of great literature for my life
lessons.
Luke: Don't ever let a man tell you what to do
HollyRandall: Since when have i ever done that?
4:22 pm.
KendraJade: Rob spoke to Derek for me
Luke: Should not you and Mary be on stage now?
KendraJade: Yeah 30 minutes ago
KendraJade: She's not here yet
KendraJade: I know I bitch a lot about the business but stuff like this
derek thing reminds me how many true friend I have made in it
KendraJade: A lot of people came to my defense and offered to handle it
KendraJade: Apparently he's not so well liked
KendraJade: And there's always YOU
KendraJade: You make me feel better
KendraJade: What we had and will always have is genuine
KendraJade: That means something -- a real connection
KendraJade: You're my friend for life lukey
4:55 p.m. Rob Spallone calls me. "Derek called. He told me that Kendra had some Vivid girl living with her and beat the f--- out of her and the girl just wants to get her stuff back. Kendra says she threw it all out. So, they were going to go to the cops. So that's what they're doing to see if the cops will go over to Kendra's house. The girl says she left $50,000 worth of stuff at Kendra's."
Luke: "You'd think the girl would've done something about it before now."
Rob: "Kendra kept saying she was away. On Monday, she says she spoke to Kendra and Kendra told her she could come over this Sunday and get her stuff. But now Kendra's saying she don't have it."
KendraJade: If you saw the device I have to type on , you'd understand
my lack of interest in proper grammar and/or spelling !
Luke: Which national championship did you win? I have never seen you spell
and punctuate correctly on any device.
KendraJade: I know , but I swear , its just laziness
Leslie writes: "I guess Kendra should find a better story since her fight with Bobby was reported on your site has being on March first. So, it doesn't make 30 days since Bobby left."
Kendra responds: "The fact that anyone claiming Bobbie has owned $50k worth of stuff in her entire lifetime is completely laughable. She had boxes of papers, a bed, and some old clothes from Target. She left them for over a month, suddenly her new pimp is calling. Times must be hard."
When Heidi Joy Pike Pushed For News Coverage Of The Director Ivan
In December of 2005, Heidi marched around the AVN office with Ivan in tow and demanded a news story on her friend. The reporter assigned had no interest. His desk was full of stories he had to work on.
When the reporter walked into the parking lot, he saw Heidi getting into Ivan's car to go to lunch.
Bill Margold Asks AVN Editor Heidi Joy Pike To Withdraw As XRCO's Heart-On Girl
Will lay waste to Mark Kernes at later date. But right now, Heidi should take the honorable way out and remove herself from the position of XRCO "Heart-On" Girl at this year's event. Considering that the spot was once filled by the lusty likes of Amber Lynn, Nina Hartley, Jeanette Littledove, Angela Baron and Tami Monroe, the well-meaning gesture by the way too good-"heart"ed Dirty Bob, was tragically ill-conceived. Although I realize that Mackenzie Lee was brought in bolster the ranks, TWO "Heart-On" Girls is ONE too many, unless the ladies are twins...and not in the Schwarzenegger/DeVito sense of the relationship. Of course if derision was the intended outcome,then Heidi is richly encouraged to put her best hoof forward.
Thanks To Attorney Roger Jon Diamond, The LA Strip Club World Will Be Alive And World Forever
Roger got about 100,000 signatures two years ago to stop an anti-lap dancing law taking effect. He then negotiated a deal with the LA city councilmen that watered down the law so it had no meaning.
Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Luros
Pioneering pornographer Milton Luros, a master of corporate fraud and theft, donated thousands of dollars to Jerry Brown's campaign, and got his son Michael Scott Luros appointed as a Los Angeles Superior Court judge.
Michael Luros has a terrible reputation as a judge. It's doubtful that he's competent enough to earn a living as a straight attorney.
For the longest time, he was kept far away from anything important. He was stuck in crazy court -- a court that determines whether a person is crazy enough to be committed to a mental institution. It can't be done without a jury trial.
Michael Luros now serves on criminal court.
Los Angeles Times, 4/5/92:
In 1979 and 1980, Michael Scott Luros and his parents contributed $2,066 to Brown. The next year, the family threw a fund-raising reception for Brown at their Northridge home and also contributed another $5,000. In April, 1981, Luros was named a judge on the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
Normally aloof from the process, Brown himself may have been more involved in the appointment of Luros, whose father, Milton Luros, was a convicted pornographer. Because of the family's controversial background, "the governor knew the details of that one, I'm pretty sure," said Collins, the former chief of staff. He said Georgiou pressed for Luros, using the argument, "Don't visit the sins of the father on the son."
At the time, the Luros appointment made headlines because Brown was photographed emerging from a reception at the family home in Northridge. The photo appeared in the Los Angeles Daily News under the headline: "One-Time Porn Distributor Hosts Gov. Brown Fund-Raiser."
In response to the publicity, Brown returned $3,800 to the Luros family. Brown indicated Luros had been an active volunteer in his campaign. "He was always there," he said, referring to Michael Luros. "He showed up at the office. He was bringing in sandwiches, cookies, trying to be as helpful as he could. He won the hearts and souls . . . of the people who worked in the campaign."
Luros and his parents declined to be interviewed, but his brother, Richard, a physician, insisted there was no connection between the contributions and the appointment.
On the same day Jennifer Aniston won $550,000 from a man who circulated topless shots of the Friends star, a photographer who allegedly used topless pics to try and blackmail Cameron Diaz out of $3.3 million was ordered to stand trial.
Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Luros ruled Thursday that snap-happy John Rutter was to be brought up December 8 on felony charges of attempted extortion, attempted grand theft, forgery and perjury.
Until about World War I, formal prostitution was illegal but openly tolerated in most American cities. When alcohol prohibitionists rose to power, they also tried, with some success, to supress prostitution, as well. This led to the "first round" of public service institutions referred to as "massage parlors". Among the "massage parlor" lawyers of the 1920s was Clarence Darrow of Chicago.
During the 1930s, despite the "socialist realist" history, most police departments had business they considered more important than supressing prostitution, and there was a lot more desperation, and prostitution florished discreetly.
In the 1940s, again despite the "America at war" history, social dislocations and general turmoil kept regular prostitution flourishing until, interestingly, the McCarthy Period. Apparently just as sex and alcohol had been "connected" in the teens and 20s, so sex and Communism were connected in the late 40s-early 50s. EXCEPT by that time what would become the prototype of the new world was growing in Nevada...and, to a lesser extent and different direction, Los Angeles.
The 1960s were the 1960s, and introduced the Culture Wars. Supression of prostitution and massage parlors went on next to the opening of "topless clubs" where, depending on whether the management was talking to the press or the owner, it was either impermissible or fine for employees to "date" clients (usually depending on liquor license status).
Starting in the late 70s (so we can't blame it all on Nancy Reagan) we got the truly anal condition we have now: Anti-sex crusaders writing meticulous and absurd zoning and business regulations [Note that the bill in L.A. has been referred to the same committee that handles zoning and land-use planning issues].
Los Angeles has a special problem, outlined over thirty years ago by the late Milton Luros, founder of the American Arts Enterprises pornography publishing business, and whose son, Michael Luros, is an L.A. County Superior Court judge. Luros made A.A.E. the first "vertically integrated" porn empire, hiring full-time staff photographers, movie crews, and contract models. (For anyone who has viewed "loops" made during the 1970s, the A.A.E. office in North Hollywood had a ridiculous "bathtub" surrounded by tacky bright-red shag carpet and flocked wallpaper where Candy Samples, Roberta Pedon, Roxanne Brewer, and several dozen other young ladies "bathed".)
Luros said, and I don't remember the quote exactly, but in effect, every year 250,000 young women between 14 and 20 came to L.A. to become movie stars. All of them were at least very pretty. Ten became stars. Of the rest, 149,990 went back home. The remaining 100,000, according to Mr. Luros, explained why Los Angeles the best-looking waitresses and whores in America, and why there would always be enough "talent" to support the porn industry. IMHO, Los Angeles has a choice between banning lap dances or maintaining its current employment rate.
XBiz Publisher Alec Helmy Gives Me An Interview
Alec: "A true news outlet's goal is to be the first to break the story. Outlets are free to use any tactic they want. What others do just doesn't concern us."
Luke: "Do you use your power and influence to encourage people to give you their news and press releases first? How so? If not, why not?"
Alec: "We encourage people to give their news to XBiz -- never threaten. I'm not involved in our news coverage. It is best handled by the editors."
Luke: "Are you or anyone encouraged by you using anonymous emails or anonymous tactics to attack AVN?"
Alec: "Getting attacked is not fun. It has happened to XBiz and will continue to happen from time to time. It comes with running a high profile company. I wouldn't wish that upon anybody."
Kami Andrews Won't Quit
She emails me:
When all this happened I really lashed out, at Ivan and at Heidi and all of AVN, playing the part of the tragic victim who had been wronged by every one. And you know what I still feel like I was, but that's not really who I am.
Ivan is the one that got hurt most. He has not only lost his relationship with me but his relationship with AVN. He really is an amazing director, in fact he is a genius, I really believe that. His movies are super awesome and deserving of all the praise they get even when it's spoken with a forked tongue. I think her reviews are tainted across the board but I think people already know what reviews to actually read and who to avoid. If it were a real magazine with real journalists they would probably say if you have a personal relationship with some one you ought to let another staffer review their stuff. I'm not saying she can't be friends with porn people but how can she honestly be impartial?
I told Ivan when they first started being friends to ask her not to review his or my movies. The thing I was referring to was her going away last weekend to Vegas with another male director (who also has a girlfriend). How can you share a room with a man for a weekend away then have your ringing endorsement on the box. The thing is I think that dude is a great director also. I don't think he needs her endorsement.
At the end of the day AVN is just a magazine we all read so we can see our own pictures and see our names. It's a world we have created to validate ourselves and glamorize what we do. It must be OK look at the weight of this paper! And Glossy! I'm totally confortable with porn. It has been very good to me, but I can also step back and see it for what it is. Ivan got stuck between a jealous unbalanced (on a good day) girlfriend and a needy editor who feels like she has something to prove, he never had a chance.
Mary Carey Update
She calls Thursday night as I'm leaving my hovel.
Mary: "Are you running out to have dinner with Holly?"
Luke: "No. We broke up three weeks ago."
Mary: "I guess I'm not going to be shooting for Suze Randall then. That explains the call I got. They want me to do a boy-boy-girl."
Holly Randall writes me: "Tell Mary that when I heard about my mom wanting her to do a boy/boy/girl, I told my mom that there was no way Mary would be OK with that and to ask her was ridiculous. I didn't realize that she'd set the wheels in motion and the question had been already been posed to Mary."
AVN, XBiz And The Rush To Be First
I got this email: "I work on the industry PR side, and one interesting fact that wasn't brought up but is widely known is that AVN editors routinely threaten to cut off editorial coverage if you don't "delay" press releases to XBiz. Since XBiz is a monthly magazine, I always thought that was silly. Like they're not going to get the story anyway."
I sent the email on to AVN Editor Mike Ramone and AVN President Paul Fishbein. I included this observation to Paul: "AVN does want people to give them the story first just as I want people to give me the story first."
Paul Fishbein responds:
We absolutely want the story first and we do everything in our power to get it first, just like any news organization. And they are the same way. I would say that AVN and X-Biz are the only real news organizations in the business and neither of us would be doing our jobs if we didn't care about being first. But my editors are not allowed to threaten to cut off editorial coverage if we don't get it first and I am sure that they haven't done that. But are they aggressive about it and do they ask for exclusivity? Absolutely. Or they are not doing their jobs.
Now I'm out of town for business for a couple of days and I will not respond to ANY MORE e-mails from anonymous e-mailers. Ramone and I think you might be making all this stuff up anyway, just to get things going....or maybe because it's been a slow news week....or you're bored. True or false?
I have never made up an email in my life. The matters we discussed and published on my site were all worthy. There was no sucker-punching of AVN. People talk about this stuff to me and others.
Kami Andrews' Broken Heart Over Ivan, Heidi Joy Pike's Ecstatic Reviews For Her Friend Ivan
Kami replies to Heidi Joy Pike (who Kami accuses of ruining her 18-month relationship with Ivan of IamIvan.com in addition to unethical journalistic practices) on AVN.com:
Ok this is the last thing I'm saying on the matter. I swore that before but you won and I responded, and damn it now I'm doing it again, but after this (and yes I realize there will be a ton of after this) I'm just going to forget it.
I have always been painfully honest. Yes, I had a speed problem. After a year in the biz, I suddenly had a self-image problem about my weight, ya go figure. Some girls can handle a key in the morning, I couldn't and it got away from me. I quit last April.
I'm sure I have doee a ton of things in the last year to call out, but I have never lied about what drugs I do. Too bad we can't all be that honest huh?
Pointing out the painfully obvious doesn't hurt me it just confuses people who don't know the back story.
You said every one you cared about or mattered to you knew the truth, then why are you using AVN to tell people you don't care about?
I'm not going to check the responses. I am the only one in this thing who is using my name.
You ruined a year and a half relationship and your pissed because I hurt your feelings. I'm not going to sit here and call out you did this you did this because I said before you ever posted this that I was done with this, and dang it I am this time. I have a life outside porn and while that may seem weird people wanting to destroy it seems weird to me.
I wish I could live in a fantasy internet world behind an anonymous name but that's not who I am. I do what I do. I'm honest about it and I deal with the consequences, and most importantly I try not involve innocent people. The fact that this is our industry magazine speaks for itself.
Ivan at IamIvan.com responds:
Friendships are give and take. But sometimes it becomes as someone is truly taking advantage of it whether it's on purpose or not or just out of desperation.
Kami's friendship was taken for granted and abused. She has always been honest and up front. With her you get what you get without other agendas. About the messing around business. Nothing ever happened except two friends hanging out.
But that wasn't even the main issue. It was a culmination of many things. A year and a half relationship was severely damaged over this mess. And a person I love and care for more then anything got hurt.
People need to let cooler heads control their emotions and leave all this alone. I am sorry for this mess, hopefully this will be the last we all have to deal with this.
On his website IamIvan.com, Ivan (who once advertised with Lukeisback.com) prominently displays his positive reviews from AVN. Guess who wrote those AVN reviews? Ivan's friend Heidi Joy Pike, the one Kami's mad at for taking her man.
On his page for Dawn of the Dead, Ivan publishes: "AVN Magazine (February 2006) "Spotlight Pick" Pre-noms. Best Sex Comedy, Video Best Packaging Best Oral Scene (Genesis Skye)".
Heidi Joy Pike reviews Dawn of the Dead for AVN.com:
In this latest brilliant creation from horror porn maestro Ivan, Gia Paloma, Alias and Chris Justice play leaders of the ZIPS Patrol, and they protect the residents of Chatsworth from evil, lusty drug-addled zombie chicks, who can only be quelled with that ultimate healing elixir - semen.
This is funny, funny stuff, and the sex is hard and good. Zombie Genesis Skye does an inspired, appropriately psycho-feeling blowbang. Paloma gets violated and turned into a zombie by dyke zombie Tiffany Holiday and then f---ed by fellow officer Justice.
Pre-nom for Best Comedy, Best Packaging and the Skye blowbang for Best Oral Scene - Video.
Retailing: Place next to Ivan's Texas Asshole Massacre and watch 'em fly out the door.
On his page for Texas Asshole Massacre, Ivan publishes: "AVN AWARD Nominated: Best Sex Comedy Best Actress Video, Kami Andrews Best Supporting Actor Video, Dirty Harry AVN Magazine (July) "July Editor's Choice" "Clever Title of the Month".
Heidi Joy Pike reviews Ivan's Texas' Asshole Massacre for AVN:
Review: This super-cute comedy parodies the Tobe Hooper-directed horror classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, giving it a porno twist. Here, Kami Andrews stars in her first feature as Texas, a crazy matriarch of a crazy family, who, via infomercial, lures porn stars to her ranch so she can make them into chili. It's rare that a movie with this hard is this funny, and director Ivan shows great skill. It's a fun commentary on the whole mainstreaming of porn phenomenon with the victims/porn starlets being told that they can just say no to extracurricular sex and become more than the anal whores that they are. "I will make you something better, by any means necessary!" Andrews emotes.
Heh.
It's an Evolution vid, so there's a damn lot of anal, and it's all pretty good with the highlights being Kelly Wells anal bout with Sascha and a hilarious threeway with "five time best anal scene nominee" Gia Paloma, begging for cock in her ass, and Andrews and Sascha not allowing it.
Pre-nom for Best Comedy, Kami Andrews for Best Actress - Video and Dirty Harry for Best Supporting Actor - Video, the Wells/Sascha for Best Anal Sex Scene - Video and the Andrews/Gia Paloma/Sascha scene for Best Threeway.
As Heidi says on the AVN blog: "Yeah, he makes movies and I have reviewed a couple of them. Whatever. Not a big deal in the cosmic sense and me hanging out with people who produce porn isn't me abusing anything."
I wonder where the idea came from to make Heidi the heart-on trophy girl for the XRCO Awards? Did she lobby for it? Why?
Ivan states clearly that he did not have sex with that woman Heidi Joy Pike, which I believe puts an end to this discussion. Now we can all get back to the important business of running the country. Good night and good luck.
Ivan at IamIvan.com emails me:
Hey Luke, just saw your article and it's an interesting story. Just wanted to clear a few things up and give you actual facts if you are interested. E-mail with any questions.
BTW, the person Kami was talking about in this quote "The fact that you go away with and date people whose movies you review shows how you use your position." is not me, you can ask her yourself.
I have shot numerous movies with Heidi reviewing one (Dawn of the Head) after we became friends and only two in total. If you think that the review wasn't warranted compare it to others on the net to see if it was a bias piece.
I would never do anything to harm Kami as in my eyes she an amazing woman; smart, intelligent, and creative. She is exactly what I am looking for in a life long commitment. I love her and care for here and would do anything for her.
...Kami said "go away with" like leave town. That was not about me.
Ivan blogs Feb 28: "This past weekend I hurt Kami. It was a great Saturday turned upside down and from that point on has been an emotional roller-coaster. Some people try to blame her but it's not her fault. She was caught off guard reading in this public journal that I had dinner and a movie with a friend [Heidi Joy Pike?]. I wasn't the one to share this information, she read it here in livejournal. I didn't hide it but that wasn't the point. The point was Kami and I share a bond of certain things meant only for us. I disrespected that. And she responded as any person who's emotions just have been ripped apart. She is not to blame for this and reacted in a way many would."
Growing up in the Soviet Union during the Cold War, Ivan and his family made a journey to the United States at his ripe ol' age of eight. His High School years were spent in many art classes honing artistic skills and winning Art Scholarship Awards.
After being accepted to Otis Parson's Design School, Ivan chose to take another path spending the next few years collecting a Commercial Art Diploma and Film Theory and History knowledge. It was time to move on as he was accepted and attended a historic Photography/Film Institute. While attending the school, Ivan amassed much experience working on almost 60 projects from student to hollywood features, along the way winning the Eastman Kodak Scholarship...
In August of 2003 Ivan was approached by Kevin K. and Tom Byron of Evolution Erotica about joining their team.
It's No Longer All About Suze
It used to be that when I got email from the suzenetcash.com program, it was all about Suze. Since March 10, however, the emails have come from "Suze and Holly Randall." Holly's got her come-hither picture on the tour and her personal guarantee that if you come inside of her site and join, you are assured of ecstasy.
I wonder if, in the grander scheme of things, people would be better off reading The Consolation of Philosophy than joining porn sites? The pleasures of pornography are fleeting while the joy of attaching one's soul to the Source of Life is eternal.
Still, I'm very excited that Holly has started blogging. March 15 she wrote:
I love it when hot babes like Cassie Courtland just pop into the studio. She's a tiny little thing and looks so sweet, but the second you get her naked there's this naughty little devil that comes right out! Make no mistake - Cassie Courtland is a sweet girl, but she's got a naughty side that would probably leave YOU bow-legged! And how about that tight little body of hers? Just delicious! Click here for Cassie Courtland's free nude teaser pics!
With prose like this, it is obvious that Holly graduated from UCLA with a degree in English literature. Her professors must be so proud.
On March 8, Holly posted: "Oh, gotta love those red heads...I'm telling you as I shot these today, I couldn't help but think, "That's one lucky cock." I mean Riley Shy has these perfectly pert tits that are so soft, and then the prettiest pussy I've ever seen. Tight too! I swear he could barley get it in - and by the way she was moaning, I could tell he was filling her up all the way. Click here to check out the free teaser pics, and you will definitely want to join up to see the full penetration shots!"
On February 26, Holly made this false claim: "Don't miss this exciting first time hardcore shoot between Penthouse Pet Paris Dahl and hung stud Julian. Paris's soft skin, tight ass, and pert tits will blow your mind. Members to Suze.net and Suzevideo.com see full penteration."
On February 1, Holly Randall made this false claim: "Amy Ried first Boy/Girl Shoot!"
I'm not sure which is more painful for me. Reading this stuff, or reading feminism. Both types of wanker prose give me the creeps.
Tara writes: "Don't knock Holly's flowery prose. Suze saves money by having someone who can write well and shoot good porn. I'm sure they wouldn't want to have to hire a writer to write descriptions for their photos sets. Tell Holly to get Carmella Bing into the studio ASAP. She's hot."
Kelly says: "I was born in 1967 in Newport Beach, California. My father was an actor and a stunt man and my mother was an accountant. It's sort of funny because I star on my website and I also handle all the finances for the company. I guess it's in the genes. When I was about 5, I was into my Dad's Playboys but by age 9 I needed something more hardcore.
It seems as though I was destined to be an adult entertainer. I started early in life playing doctor with my cousin Janine Lindemulder. My cousin is a very famous adult starlet so I guess we have each other to thank. I soon became very interested in boys. I dated the same guy for 3 years before going out to explore the world of men. I always loved the feeling of being rushed and panicked that we would get caught while having sex in the back seat of his car. I still have sex like that today with my husband…
We are Mr. and Mrs. Madison, commonly known as Kelly and Ryan. We met in 1999 at a computer graphics company. I was the VP of sales and he was a graphic designer. I was 33 at the time and just about to get married to another man. Then something magical happened, I fell in love with the much younger Ryan and ran off with him. We started a business together and created my personal website, kellymadison.com. I had never done anything like that before. Ryan was very supportive and proved to me that my site could be a success.
I now love what I do and I adore my fans. Being in the adult business I was constantly meeting hot chicks. I found myself more sexually open and easily meeting women in and out of the business. Ryan and I started having 3-somes which made our own relationship even more exciting. We started to film our escapades and decided to start a new website. We got engaged and soon after started Pornfidelity.com. It's all real. We are married and we were normal people only a few years ago. We are still normal but now when we f--- and we film it! We took a solemn oath to provide you with hot and nasty pussy, big and luscious titties, and more cum filled days than you can handle.
Kelly: Ryan came to work for me. This 22 year old punk kid that was always surfing and partying. And I don’t know, I just fell head over heels in love with him. It was crazy.
AF: How did this punk kid win you over this well off guy?
K: Ryan was just incredibly determined. He knew what he wanted. He was an incredibly [bad] employee. He didn’t like working for anyone else. He was one of my worst employees. He had an entrepreneurial type of attitude and spirit. At first I just wanted to f--- him. It was weird, but after that I wanted a future with him. We screwed around at work behind everyone’s back.
AF: How did you make the transition from your old boyfriend to Ryan? How did you bring it out in the open?
K: It was crazy. I left the one guy and left all my furniture and stuff there and instantly started spending the night with Ryan. We had a really close bond. We started off working together, but we wanted to do something for ourselves, we want to make money. So a friend of ours had a video company and he did all this crazy ass low budget stuff, really low quality and he was making a ton of money.So we decided to hire girls and stuff, and I was going to run the business. And then the girls were kind of flakey and didn’t show up on time and they weren’t as pretty as they were in their pictures. We didn’t know who the agencies were or anyone to deal with back in the day, so Ryan just said, you have real natural tits, why don’t we just start a website about you! I was like WHAT? Are you kidding me?
AF: How could you guys not think of that?
K: We were never gonna do that. It was never gonna be about me. Ever. We were going to hire hot chicks. And it ended it up doing a personal site and I started posing and we got a warehouse and gutted it out and built sets and we ended up living there because we had no money, no shower. We barely had hot water. It was crazy! This old junky warehouse. We didn’t tell anybody that we lived there. It was crazy, just crazy! And that’s how we started the KellyMadison.com site.
AF: How long ago was that?
K: Six years now.
AF: So what is I like to work with your husband ALL THE TIME?
K: 24/7 It was really cool in the beginning, we just loved I, loved it, loved it, but now we have the office where a couple other people work for us, and I get to work from home, and Ryan works at the office. That way it makes the sex better.
Dara: "I feel like I have something to say about the book. Questions about me? It's like a bad blind date. We don't know each other. Who are you? It's like filling out a personals ad. I like long walks on the beach."
Daniel Metcalf, publicist, writes on AVN's blog:
It must be a slow gossip day when a piece of alleged scandal has to be over-qualified with a hand-wringing "I believe that someone believes, but I don't have the whole story." Why not just fill the site with random, empty " " " " - it would be just as illuminating.
George Orwell must be smiling right now - what a brilliant example of Oceania's "Doublethink."
Uh oh, I just suggested that I might believe in an afterlife (and therefore, by implication, a First Cause or Higher Power). Now I'm REALLY going to get crucified on this blog!
Kami Andrews writes:
The fact that you are using the AVN blog to challenge me shows how you use your position at AVN.
The fact that whenever any one criticizes you they wind up on here shows how you use your position.
The fact that you go away with and date people whose movies you review shows how you use your position.
Heidi Joy Pike responds:
I wasn't challenging you. I was challenging what was said on Luke's site in how vague, stupid and untrue it is.
A lot of people criticize me and I don't blog about it. I don't actually blog that very much at all compared to some people on staff. This was just so ridiculous that it begged for comment.
I had takeout and watched a movie with who I thought was a friend like I do with many of my friends. Yeah, he makes movies and I have reviewed a couple of them. Whatever. Not a big deal in the cosmic sense and me hanging out with people who produce porn isn't me abusing anything.
The Twins (Formerly Miltontwins.com, etc) Respond:
Luke, recently visited "lukeisback.com" here:
As Far as the "incest" issue goes, neither my Twin nor I have ever touched in any scene. During the "Milton Twin" series, we worked with multiple secondaries (other talent) all who happened to be blonde, so I may think people are confused by this, there is absolutely NO touching between my twin and I, both of us agree that is just "sick, disgusting and hamiliating" even thinking that other people think that this kind of non-sense is happening, is just sickening.
Now, onto another subject "FRAUD." At this point back in 2004 when everyone had thought that we were involved in "check fraud," what had really happened would truly amaze you, and make you think...before you start thinking different alligations against something, don't you all think that maybe you should get proof to back up what you are saying?
In 2003 we had flown out to Los Angeles for a week of shooting, where we had met the infamous Skeeter Kerkove, he had offered us $10,000 each for 10 days exclusive video work with us. When it came down to it we had realized that...if we did that, then other companies would miss out during those 10 days. This made Mr. Kerkove very mad, about a few days after that, we worked for Evil Angel, after that shoot we each recieved a check for $1000 dollars.
We left the shoot and went back to the hotel. We dropped off our checks and went out for another job, later that night we went to the bank, the checks were too large therefore Joel from Evil Empire had to come down to the bank and sign the back of the checks and verify that these checks, were signed and written by him. We then cashed the checks. Two days later we had to get ready to fly back to Ohio when, Cherish's ID and SS Card was missing from the hotel, I (Cali Marie) flew back to North Ridgeville, OH. and Cherish went down to San diego to stay with a family memeber. Three days later fraudulant checks were made and cashed at the bank. At the time of the cashing Joel from New Sensations was called to verify the check only to find that the check was not real, nor signed by the true "joel" of New Sensations.
The FBI were included in this, and the bank had saw someone on camera, and a fingerprint...in which neither were traced back to my twin and I. We were then stalked by men that Skeeter Kerkove "a Russian Videographer and talent" had sent out to stalk not only my sis and I but our family, putting all lives at danger. In the end there was no proof leading to Cherish and Cali Marie being the lead of this awful "check fraud."
As far as Cherish, now known as " Madison May," is 3.5 months pregnant.. Most think that she is actually further along, but we think you may be mistaken by my (Molly May aka: Cali Marie) pregnancy back in 2003. Madison is able to work for another 3-4 months, after that she will be available for pregnancy work, and fetish. She will be receiving a release from the doctor, so that the liability will NOT get in the way
Now another issue to get straight from 2003-2005 we were known as "Cherish and Cali Marie" doing hardcore, DVD"s and Internet, in 2005-2006 we Worked for Teen Revenue / Triple X cash, as the "Milton Twins" for Miltontwins.com that contract has been legally terminated. Now from 2006-present we are known as "the May twins" Madison and Molly May, yes we know you are probably thinking, "why do they change their image and names so much?" We do this to bring in new and better fans and to bring to life what our fans have been waiting to see.
Madison and I (also previously known as "Cherish and Cali Marie" / "the Milton twins") are back, and always have been back eager ready to work with our new personality and our new dramatic, exotic hot look, excited, and enthusiastic as ever SO book us now through: GoldStarModeling.com. We will be the only hot exotic, twins on this site ready to work to show you all that we are new and improved.
Brian writes: "I guess it isn't ackward sucking cock and pussy with your sibling. I mean I have two brothers and I can't imagine doing chicks with them in the same room let alone the same bed."