According to a recent study by Indiana University, women only manage to orgasm 63% of the time that they get down to a bit of the ol’ hanky panky. Which is a stark contrast to the 85% of the time the men do.
Here are the four main (fancy scientific) reasons why women fake orgasms…
01 Altruistic deceit – faking it out of concern for a partner’s feelings
Simply put, they’re scared that if they don’t orgasm, you’re going to feel like a manly disaster and get all moody and upset.
The solution? Man up. We’re not saying that you shouldn’t be trying to make your girlfriend orgasm, because that would be selfish, but that doesn’t mean you need to doubt your masculinity if it doesn’t happen everytime. Sex is supposed to be fun, yeah? Don’t overthink things and stop putting pressure on both yourself and your girlfriend.
02 Fear and insecurity – faking it to avoid negative emotions associated with the sexual experience
This one isn’t so simple. There could be quite a lot of different reasons behind this, from body issues to attitudes towards sex when your girlfriend was growing up. Or the fact that you’re a bit of a douche who makes fun of her sex face.
The best combat for this is obviously to make sure that the person you’re having sex with is comfortable with you and the whole idea of having sex, which, to be perfectly honest, should be an absolute given. If it isn’t, you don’t deserve to be having sex. Ever. All in all, if there’s an issue, talk it out.
03 Elevated arousal – faking to increase one’s own arousal
Essentially, faking it to get off. Your girlfriend is getting herself turned on by the idea of orgasm and then managing to later (hopefully) turn it into a real orgasm.
The fake orgasm then, is a little bit like a solo-foreplay tool in your partner’s sexy toolbox, which is kind of brilliant when you think about it. Even more brilliant though is that this is apparently the most common cause of fake orgasms, which should do wonders for your self-esteem.
04 Sexual adjournment – faking orgasm to end sex
We shouldn’t really have to explain this. But we will anyway – it means your girlfriend doesn’t really want to have sex.
This doesn’t always mean ‘never’ – it could just be that she’s a little bit tired and, you know, sick of you acting like a hormonal teenager, so don’t get yourself too down about it. That said, if it becomes apparent that this is happening on a regular basis, you should definitely think about talking about it as a couple…