Hey girl … what goes through your mind when giving a blowjob?

Thought Catalog recently posted a funny story about 50 Women Answer ‘What Goes Through Your Head While Giving A Blowjob?’ Some of these responses are priceless.

1.

PureGabe:

“Does he like it?”

2.

doctorjwatson:

“Wow, my jaw hurts.”

3.

springplum:

“Why is sex so short but this takes so damn long?”

4.

imactuallyagirl:

‘I wish I could breathe through my nose.’

5.

princesspeachey:

“Man, I hope I didn’t just hit him with my teeth.”
“Oh shit, my eyes are watering, there goes my mascara.”
“My lips are super smooth now.”

6.

renegadejourno:

“Don’t gag. Don’t gag. Don’t gag. Don’t- “
Almost vomits
“Dammit.”

7.

StarHeavenside:

“C’mon n moan… Moan. Moan. Moan dammit!” “Does he even like this or is he just gonna bite his lips…” “My jaws going… the cheeks… ow… I should use the shakeweight more…” “When is it enough. When is it ENOUGH?!” “MMM. yes. The moans. I like it…. Yes. Omg he’s playing with my hair…”

8.

GiraffeEatLion:

“I wonder if he likes certain technique “
Blargh, there’s a hair in the back of my throat bah

9.

krau5mau5:

Don’t gag don’t gag don’t gag.

10.

BunnyKallen:

At first I think about if he took a shower or not… It has smelled before, not terrible but it’s really hard to avoid sweating in the southern states. Then I freak out and ask myself if he even likes what I’m doing. Can I change pace or will he get mad? Wow my lips are super slippery. Oh, his toes curled up, he’s almost there, should I swallow or let him explode on my face again? Ok, it’s over, get me a washcloth before it drips in my eye.

11.

dailylotion:

Sometimes I’m looking at him thinking, “I love you so much that you’re gonna feel it.”
One time I was thinking, “I want to live together and do this all the time.”

12.

CheezyBurritos:

“Hope my jaw doesn’t hurt after this.”

“Ew, my hair is getting in the way.”

“Is he close yet? My jaw is starting to bother me.”

“I think I’m smiling too much, too excited about getting laid after this.”

“Is what I’m doing turning him on?”

“Good he doesn’t stink down there/Ugh.. ball sweat smell”

Other thoughts about daily things I need to get done too.. Really should try and think sexual thoughts when I’m doing the deed. I probably wouldn’t feel jaw pain if I was turned on lol.

13.

comyna_the_red:

I hope that im looking sexy/dirty/arousing, and think about what I can do to get more reaction. If Im not getting any, I imagine the scene in 3rd person, embellish with some sexy reactions, and enjoy 🙂

14.

secondhandsweaters:

Watch the teeth, watch the teeth, OH GOD DID MY TEETH JUST TOUCH IT? Oh fuck, he’s probably internally cringing in pain.

15.

gwenniegrrl:

“Don’t put your finger in his butt, don’t put your finger in his butt, don’t put your finger in his butt.”

16.

dginmc:

I count. I know he’ll blow his load between 150-175. If we get above 200 he’s spanked it that day. I count strokes. Not time.

17.

Sweetsuga52:

Personally, I love giving blowjobs. What I’m thinking about during is all about how he’s enjoying it. I love to make it very wet and just take my time. I think it’s better for my man to enjoy the ride rather than just get it over with quickly. I definitely savor the moment!

18.

libbyfinch:

Did I just smell his asshole? Shit, I can smell his asshole. Don’t inhale. Don’t.

19.

CupcakeUnicornLaLaLa:

The smells are always interesting. You never know what’s going to happen. I dated a guy for a few years that generally a slight to moderate B.O. smell down there, unless he had JUST taken a shower minutes prior. Always made sure to give him a nice kiss after so he could see that I took one for the team.

20.

suddenlysomnolent:

“Oh, yeah motherfucker. I’m gonna suck you till you drop. Make the sound you do when you’re cumming. This shit better not taste like dish soap like it did last time, or I’ma let it drool down my chin instead of swallowing. Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Here, I’ma deep throat cuz I know you like it when I gag. That’s right, you fuckin bitch. Blow that load! Yeah!”

Then we cuddle. He doesn’t realize that I’m dominating him in my mind and I’m sure he wouldn’t care. Makes me feel like a badass anyway.

21.

Belushi91:

i get so turned on by giving a guy a blowjob, in that moment I’m controlling the guy like a puppet. I’m normally not a controlling person at all and have no desire to be. But when I’m going down on a guy I am the boss and I will make him cum like a goddamn volcano. 😉

22.

KetaPine:

This better be reciprocated.

23.

creativexangst:

“Hmm I wish he trimmed. Oh well. Ooo he likes that let’s do that more…nope now its not working let’s try this instead. Ok mouth is getting sore let’s put my hand into it. I wonder of there’s a way to sexily lick my hand to lube it up? Nope not really. Ok now we got this going and its working. So I wonder when I need to be at work. I know its today. Crap what time is it?? How will I look at my phone to find the time without him noticing?? Oh wait he has a watch…just gotta…get…him to angle it…oh ok I’m good on time. Boy he is really into that one thing. I really hope he’ll warn me before he gets off. This is fun but I’m starting to be bored…OH! RIGHT! Balls. Let’s play with the balls. He he they’re so silly…oh now he’s making that noise better get ready…well at least it doesn’t taste as bad as last time. So glad he ate that pineapple…oh he wants to kiss me now? Ewww…but ok. Where’s my toothbrush?”

And that’s an average 15 minute blow job for me. Not always concerned about work, usually once I find what works I let my mind wander.

24.

ptoftheprblm:

“this sucks”

25.

Janet_Coquette:

I’m paying extremely close attention to you and looking for any cues that a particular technique I am doing is pleasing you – sounds, movements, etc. If I am very, very in tune to you and what I am doing, it is like playing an instrument. I think that a lot of girls can play a very basic song on that instrument, but few of them will ever truly master it.

26.

trolololbunny:

“Hmm he smells kinda funky today.”

27.

UrRightAndIAmWong:

If I blow will the sack get bigger?

28.

RedHeadAlex:

I am always wondering if I am doing a good job. Blow jobs are hard to give and they are often uncomfortable for us. The best thing a guy can do to make it easier on both people is be super verbal about what you like and don’t like. There’s no way for us to know when we are all the way down there and you are silent! Give us a nudge every once in awhile if you like the action!

29.

Zerostrikuru:

Something something “i have cancer now”

30.

layra96:

Honestly, I’m making a mental grocery list

31.

HipposRDangerous:

“I really like this…wish my TMJ wasn’t acting up.” “Why doesn’t he just face fuck me….it would be a lot easier on my neck.”

“Wonder where he will come this time.”

32.

thermospolice:

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive.

33.

Jevia:

“Does he like it? He’s not reacting, he seems bored. :(“

34.

mpaige1987:

Mostly it’s “Don’t scrape your teeth! Be careful! How stupid do I look right now? Why do you care? He’s getting his dick sucked he doesn’t care how stupid you look!! Fucking Jaw! work through it! Keep going! He’s about to cum! YES!!! Hell yeah I made that shit happen!

35.

barnhartj:

“Would he be offended if I licked his ass? I really wanna lick his ass… Hmm, probably shouldn’t, but I want to.”

36.

JuicyGisselle:

I HOPE HE GETS HERE SOON MY JAW HURTS!!!!

37.

Not_A_Coke_Head:

“I wonder what he would do if I stuck a finger in his ass… They say some guys like it… He’s never mentioned it… I bet I can just pop one in before he realizes what’s going on.”

38.

mountainprincess:

dont throwup don’t throwup don’t throwup……I have a very strong gag reflex

39.

sicasicaciao:

“I wonder if I can still deep throat as well as I used to.”

40.

nimisha97:

Calculus. Specifically, differential equations. I have no fucking idea why, but that’s what goes through my mind.

41.

Crolleen:

“Ohhh ya. I’m fuckin awesome”

42.

PikaPi513:

“Ok let’s try to deep throat this time” tries “nope, not this time” “Balls are my favorite part, why can’t he just like that?” “Is he close yet?” “My jaw is hurting”

43.

Maternitus:

Just like as a man eating pussy: “For fuck’s sake, get an orgasm, already!”

44.

xsammhooverx:

“Holy shit I wanna fuck him. This is a nice dick”

45.

peachesdevine:

My jaw is starting to hurt, gotta switch to hands for a bit, he’s looking at me like where’s your mouth, combo this and just get it over with. I wish we were in a bed and not my car this angle is killing me. I love doing this, I love doing this, just keep thinking that. His penis is so smooth and his skin is soft, I wonder how often he masturbates to have such soft penis skin. I really do love making him cum, and now im turned on, lets turn this blowjob into sexy time.

46.

burritobeans:

“I wonder how far I can get it down my throat before I gag.”
“Tasting super salty today.”
“I love playing with his balls, I think I’m gonna pop one in my mouth for funsies.”
“Dicks are way more fun to play with than vaginas. I can’t swing my junk in a circle or slap someone in the face with it. Sigh.”

47.

Sammysomeone:

“This is going to be so much fun, I’m going to give the best blowjob ever.”
“Ugh my mouth is already hurting for being open for so long, this blows.”
“Now my arm hurts for propping myself up, why can’t this be easier.”
“Two hands, here we go.”
“I want to deep throat him more but I’m scared I might puke. Why.”
“Jaw clenching, oh god. Time for the hands again.”
“I hope I don’t look like some sort of demon when I look up at him like this.”
“Is it sexy when I smile when I come up?”
“augh augh augh”(I start mimicking the noises I make at some point. Don’t judge me.”
“Oh god, here it comes!”
“Try to be sexy and swallow it. Swallow it. UGH THIS TASTES SO BAD GAG GAG GAG.”

48.

TheJanks:

Was tonight’s episode of __________ a new one or rerun? I need to check the DVR just in case

49.

Naughty_Things:

“I love the look of his dick…I just wanna get this done though so I can feel it” “Jesus fuck this jurts my jaw, lips and cheeks far too much. there’s gotta be an easier way” “Dear god why does he have so much stamina this isn’t fair” “But I love him so much…oh look at those beautiful piercing green eyes…I hope I’m doing it right” “No! Don’t grab my head…ugh…babe why.” “I guess I could try to suck harder and turn my mouth a little?” “Damnit I have bigass chicklet teeth it’s hard not to scrape” “Hehe omg playing with his balls is so fun. I feel like a kitten swatting at dangly toys” “Ugh this is taking so long an my lips are going numb.” “I hate that I have to suck harder for this to work, but I make these awful noises when sucking that hard. It totally ruins the moment” “Okay I’m gonna stop this is legit hurting. Time for some handy work.” “Maybe play with my boobs?” “I guess I better go back to sucking for a while” “Welp I’ve failed. :/”

Honestly, I really enjoy giving him head, because each time I am hoping that’s the time I’m gonna get it right, and what little of pleasure he does show, I enjoy. But, I have literally never made him cum during oral. I don’t know how to endure it, I guess, plus, he will last 2 hours during sex. He has ridiculous amounts of stamina, but it’s also from a de-sensitized penis. He jacks off way too much and I feel like it’s ruined his sense of feel down there. I hope one day I can make him cum. He’s only came twice so far out of all the sex we have had too… :/ It’s strange…usually you hear of the man feeling like the ‘loser’ because they can’t make their girl cum. I feel like I’ve failed him at sexual pleasure..nothing I do seems to get him off. It really fucking sucks. Ladies, if your man can’t make you cum, just remember how bad it probably feels for him too. Honestly it makes me feel awful. He at least tells me though that it feels amazing…it’s hard to believe that when I can’t see him melt any pearls though….

50.

Opoqjo:

1 No teeth.
2 More tongue.
3 No teeth.
4 Breathe.
5 No teeth.
6 Fucker needs to moan!
7 No teeth and more tongue.
8 Cum already….

Source: Thought Catalog