NL- Someone smoking too much weed? Or is it April Fools Day on Mars or something?
Adult Studio Building Massive Underground Bunker to ‘Ride Out the 2012 Apocalypse’
VAN NUYS, Calif. – Adult entertainment studio Pink Visual announced today that the company has begun construction on an enormous underground bunker in preparation for the widely-anticipated global apocalypse that various prophetic sources have predicted will take place in late 2012.
According to Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer, the bunker is envisioned as “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave,” adding that the company “intends to ride out the 2012 apocalypse in style.”
“When we first began discussing this project, our initial vision wasn’t particularly ambitious,” Boyer said. “The idea was to create a shelter capable of sustaining only the Pink Visual staff and members of our immediate families. Then we started to think of all the performers, fans and business partners that helped make Pink Visual the success it is today, and we simply couldn’t bear the thought of leaving all those wonderful people behind to face the End of Days.”
While Pink Visual has declined to disclose the location of the bunker for the moment, citing “security concerns,” Boyer did relate a few details concerning some unexpected amenities that the shelter will feature, including multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and sophisticated content production studio.
“We’re not building this thing just to eke out a few more months of a deprived, downscaled existence,” Boyer said. “Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury, whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung Earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above. We also intend to maintain our website update schedule throughout the ordeal, even if those websites are only available on the bunker’s self-contained local network by that time.”
While Boyer conceded that building the bunker is “obviously a major undertaking” he said he remains confident that Pink Visual will complete all major construction by September, 2012, and that the bunker will be fully operational well before the end of the “Great Cycle” tracked by the Mayan Calendar Stone.
“We need to allow time for extensive quality control of our critical infrastructure, and the move-in process itself will be a logistical challenge,” Boyer said. “We’re very confident in our plan, and firm in our belief that Pink Visual, as well as our fans, friends and financiers, will survive and thrive in the Post-Apocalyptic Era.”
Boyer said that the company is still “actively and vigorously debating” the selection criteria for all non-Pink Visual personnel who will take refuge in the bunker, adding that the selection process will “likely include both merit-based and random selections, with Pink Visual performers, active site members and twitter followers getting priority over the general public.”
For more information about Pink Visual’s plan to thwart fate, contact Boyer by email at q@pinkvisual.com or call 1.866.360.PINK.
Well, so we now know Jeremy Steele’s plans for 2012.
What good is it being in a bunker if the world ends, anyway? Let’s all meet our God, together, I say.
However, if the world is indeed hollow, it’s time to make friends with whoever’s down there.
Viral marketing fail
They building it with all the money they recovered from Alison’s pirate wars? They also gonna build a bunker to protect all those 2257s in Panama? And where will they keep the masters of all the fine work Donny Long did with them?
Pink Visual has the right idea. The majority of porn peeps won’t be able to elevate their vibrational frequency enough to make it on the surface beyond 2012 so underground (literally) is they must go.
It’s happened before – what do you think those “Greys” are and why do you think they’re so obsessed with anal probing? Hollywood has been trying to tell ya for years now.
I’ve been thinking for a while quite a few pornstars look like alien hybrids with those big ass eyes and tiny noses and mouths. At first I thought it was just selective casting in regards to emulating Anime cartoons, but no – it’s a bit more than that.
I think the greys abducted you, MoFo, did experiments with your brain and then put it back piecemeal.
The truth is out there!
I think so too! Luckily I’m OK to remain on the surface considering my elevated vibrational frequency. It’s been hard to be an Indigo child, but now I see it was totally meant to be and worth the discomfort of having to be around and deal with the lower vibrational beings.
You better hurry and pack up to get underground Jeremy! Don’t forget your weed, guitar and Rogaine! I’ll make sure to shoot a hello a few generations later to any offspring you may manage to produce while you’re underground (when the manage to resurface).
Keep posting, Monica. You’re a barrel full of laughs.
Was it your elevated vibrational frequency which told you I’m with the mafia, PWL and have AIDS?
In your world Jeremy, HIV and AIDs don’t exist. I have the video footage of you stating so.
Also I was wrong – you couldn’t POSSIBLY have ties to PWL – you’re consistently the Beta male victim right? Only supposed Alpha’s like Tierney, Long, Fattorosi and Tompkins get to be in that club.
Godammit, you two. There’s a thread for this nonsense. Go there, or get a goddamn room and get it over with already. This is about a shitty porn company putting out shitty press releases.
I thought Steele and Monica had their own place to fight. Pink Visual has to do something, shitty press releases are cheaper than shooting new content, they’re on the Rapin Roy plan when it comes to new content.
I’m not a beta male MoFo, I’m a betta’ male. I didn’t say HIV and AIDS don’t exist. I’ve mentioned that scientists with advanced degree dispute whether it’s been isolated, that others dispute that it causes what is called AIDS. And I mentioned that AIDS itself is not a new disease but a grouping together of 29 old diseases, all which had and have specific causes prior to the “discovery” of HIV. You betray your own (lack of) intelligence Moronica with your simplistic and false statements. The fact that you said I had ties to PWL also proves you’re a complete MORON!
Most guys in the Industry are beta. I’m sick of this alpha trend. Everyone wants to be alpha because they are insecure with themselves. Beta guys are more sensitive and, as a result, are better fucks. Beta doesn’t equal weak–it just equals a little less self-centered IMO…
Yeah, I don’t argue with that Origen, but A comes before B, and that’s always self-evident, in social situations, sometimes they won’t have to wait on line or will steal your date. Ha.
I know. Its tough to get your girl stolen by an alpha guy but I know from experience it all works out in the end. Like I said, plenty of popular men are beta.
The truth is, you can’t really change your personality. Not without massive psychological trauma or prescription drugs, that is. There’s no real way to become alpha. Either you are or you aren’t. Either way, people should be ok with that.
It’s all a state of mind, for others a state of money.
Come to think of it, I can’t think of any alpha male talent…
Maybe Hay is alpha, but to become male talent you have to give up a large degree of control without anxiety. This is very hard for alphas to do…
Giving up control requires trust, which is like closing your eyes and falling backwards and expect the line of people standing behind you will catch you. Of course, if no one does, that means you’re not very well liked.
Is there a such thing as omega male? Because I think that’s where I sit on the spectrum.