COME ALL YE FAITHFUL…. Notes from a Porn Star Inside the House of The Lord.
by Jeremy Steele
Most of the following is actually true.
Last night Lucky dragged me to Midnight Mass for Christmas. The last time she did this I burst into flames upon entering, so this time I sprayed myself down with some fire-retardant beforehand, and upon entering was ok.
Before we left, Lucky insisted I wear something nicer than the the black shirt I was wearing with a picture of Tera Patrick bending forward
with her pendulous breasts almost bursting out of her dress, so I changed it to a "Life is good" shirt my mom sent me for Christmas.
We got there about a half hour early so to get a seat. The grand Cathedral was already fillled with a lot of people so we maneuvered into an aisle several rows from the back. I looked around but Wankus was nowhere to be seen. The chandelier bulbs were dimmed. Live organ music was playing and it was nice.The house of worship was huge, with paintings of Jesus’ crucifiction presented in story-board fashion upon the upper portion of the walls. Above my head in front of us were the illustrated depictions of various illuminated saints.
Lucky told me that it doesn’t matter what you believe, that this place is great to sit back, relax and meditate. However, after sitting down we heard a couple of some sorts behind us cackling non-stop. After a few minutes I looked back and at them and immediately thought that the lead character in that facebook movie ("The Social Network") seemed like Carol Burnett compared to these two. I whispered to Lucky the question of whether I should ask them if they would not mind please shutting the fuck up. Instead we got up, walked several rows down. Then we heard an old couple and others behind us talking, and Lucky whispered to me, "Doesn’t anyone sit quietly in church anymore?" I had also could smell that someone had apparently splashed on way too much cologne. Someone wanted to smell good in front of God, I guess, but got a little too carried away.
At, the chandelier light bulbs went brighter. The pastor waved a smokey bell looking thing, called a sensor. I whispered to Lucky that I hope that guy walks that thing over in our direction to combat the cologne smell. More people entered our row, so Lucky and I shuffled down a bit, away from where we were sitting. A procession walked down the aisles, young and old dressed in white on black, with candles, a large adorned bible and a life-size construct of the baby Jesus. A live choir and orchestra played above and behind us. The pastor spoke of asking forgiveness for our sins, so I thought of the time when I was a kid in day camp sneeking peeks at naked girls changing through an opening in a door grill. I also thought about my first job at a supermarket where I used to suck the gas out of whipped cream cans and drinking beers at age 15 in the mens’ room, and a couple of other unmentionables. At one point we were asked to stand, but someone erroneously brought down the wooden thing for kneeling and hit Lucky and I in the ankles. We looked at each, with the facial expression of "What an idiot!". Then later when it was time to lower the wooden thing to kneel on, Lucky whispered to me "Kneel, bitch". I complied. After that, I followed Lucky down the aisle as we were all given a piece of wafer to eat. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to give a Hail Mary to the Pastor or not.
While I didn’t necessarily believe in the literal interpretations of the bible they were advocating, including the notion that we are all sinners born of sin, and that Christ was born of a literal virgin, I still thought the overall experience was pleasant and even spirtual. He spoke of miracles such as all of the mine workers that all survived after being trapped for many days, following all of our collective prayers. Some of the singing was very nice, especially "Silent Night". They also sang "Come all ye faithful" and passed a basket on a long stick in front of everyone to drop cash into. I dropped a $10.00 and then took a $5.00 bill back as changed (j/k). I knew the Lord would understand.
I thought it was a nice experience. I felt a power that was strong although not as powerful as the time I was in a guru’s gathering many years ago, named Sri Chinmoy. That experience was interesting. My dad, his girlfriend of the time, and I all happened to be wearing black. We were all late arriving into a big room filled with devotees who were all wearing white. We found the only three available seats, all in a row, and sat down towards the front middle. I felt conspicuously odd and self-conscious. But soon following a long meditative moment of silence there was a power I felt that was incredibly intense and supernatural; a very strong energy that burgeoned out of the extended silence. After that began a series of musical performances that just went on and on and on, and became very redundant, so the three of us, dressed in black in a room of white got up and left. I’ll never forget that moment. I later was taken to a restaurant owned by the guru, and noticed him from afar and he ironically had a very miserable look on his face, suprisingly. The waitress was friendly, but a horrible, mindless and forgetful servant. My dad commented that the help here was always the worst he’s ever experienced. Years later I would read Chinmoy was accused of sexual indiscretions with some of his devoted female followers.
My point to all of this is that the belief systems don’t matter. When people gather, sit silently and meditatively and offer themselves prostrate to the divine myserious powers of the universe, one can tap into a power. Also, Lucky said she prayed for me more than once and the things she prayed for have come true, like getting more work, and finding a nice new place to live.
So come all ye’ faithful and unfaithful. The House of the Lord awaits and beliefs are not necessary prerequesites in order to experience life’s special moments and little miracles.
5th paragraph down should read “At Midnight”… And that should read $5.oo change, not changed…
I have been to midnight mass before too and I personally think that Catholic services are very nice. However I have recently discovered non-denominational churches. You can wear shorts and flip flops (the pastor was last weekend) and they have a band that plays contemporary music and the sermons are based on the world today. There is no sect dogma it’s just about being in a place to acknowledge a higher power.
The congregation is much younger and I’d say there are more 20 year olds than 50 year olds.
I have tried Calgary Chapel before and liked that and felt comfortable but someone recognized me and it was very weird to say the least to be asked for a photo in the church lobby after a service by a fan. I never went back.
Church won’t hurt you…even if you don’t believe everything in the message. I have yet to hear anything that I would call “bad” at church…until they start getting into the fairy tale part of it all then they lose me.
I feel you can be in this business and still believe in God. I see a huge difference when porn isn’t your lifestyle but only your job.
Good for you Mr Steele 🙂
Lucky told me you were going before hand, good that you went and behaved, the collars dont normally deserve that respect but you did for her not the collars, the Penguins or that Kraut Clown in the big white hat.
Thanks for the positive input, Mariah and Larry. It was un uplifting experience. I’ve been going to midnight mass since I was a kid, and it’s always been a tradition for me.
The incense burner is called a censer, not a sensor. But I can understand the spelling error. But this reminds me of a joke….
Two gay men have never been to church so they decide to go to a Catholic church. As the opening procession comes down the aisle, he sees a priest in beautiful embellished robes holding a censer with incense burning from it. He leans over and whispers as the priest walks by, “Sweetie, your dress is fabulous, but your purse is on fire!!!!!”
honest question Jeremy. What do you do for a living these days?
Christian,
Honest question, What WONT you do for a living these days?
As little as possible, Christian.
I used to be a professional counterfeiter but retired because there wasn’t enough money in it.
I now make those little umbrellas you have in your drinks and sell Caddyshack gophers.
Thanks Mariah.
Great post Jeremiah. The last line is especially thought provoking….”Beleifs are not necessary prerequisites in order to expeience lifes special moments and little miracles.”
Just open your eyes and your mind and you can see these little miracles everywhere. Churches are fine, but you dont need a man with a collar to find a path to riteousness, jsut the desire to see good. If you look for misery you will find it, if you look for happiness you will find it, if you look for truth you will find it, but always beware of false prophets.
Jeremiah was one of the great prophets. To fullfil your good experience from yesterday maybe reading the Book of Jeremiah would be a nice thing to do.
To Jeremiah, I sincerely apologize for the posts I made yesterday, On Christams. Today I am going to read the Book of Jeremiah, maybe you could do the same. It might be good for both of us. I offer you this as an olive branch of humbleness, from one fellow human being to another, guided by the power of the ultimate of high authorities, good will towards all mankind. Christasn, Jewish, Muslim, Buddist, or whatever, we all have more incommon than uncommon. Lets look for the good in eachother, its alot easier and pleasent than looking for the opposite.
There is a time in every church service where you turn to the people next to you and say “PEACE BE WITH YOU.
Jeremeiah, PEACE BE WITH YOU.
C3X, Steele has gotten some work of late, check out some milf sites like allover30. He used to do a lot of Chunky movies in olden times but you moved into that field many years ago and have banged many a large girl…which stinks since I would like to see Cash for Chunkers. Joe, you are dead on, what wont the Trannyfucker do for cash these days or any days before. Maybe he should do an article on money as he spends only on dinners he photos and a new jersey for some shitty English Football club. Waiting for the argument that he bangs all these hot chicks and such, looks like Steele has banged a few recently(for work) and Dirty Harry always seems to work with a hot broad or two. Shoot, Harry is as buff as you and I bet needs less artificial enhancement for arousal.
Sounds beautiful Jeremy. That blessed me to hear Lucky prays for you. Isn’t God so faithful to hear our prayers and answer us in such sweet ways?
I’ll be praying for both you and Lucky to have a great year this year. May the face of the LORD shine on you and bless you with all heavenly joy, peace, success, and love in Jesus name!
Happy New Year!
Thanks. “Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know”, Joe.
-Jeremiah 33:3
Thanks, Larry. That chunky thing was a phase. I did all those scenes in 2003. Malice and Nelson were really happy with my performances, would constantly rehire me, alluding to bigger and better things while showing me the AVN reviews which said I was the best male performer in their series in terms of comedy and woodsmanperformanceship. But the pay was so low (just an another expression of their abusive, disrespectful behavior) and in spite of me paying my dues (having worked with a smelly retard, a girl who sliced my cock open with a chipped tooth, etc.) they would, in expression of their appreciation book me for $75.00 b.j.s and ass-jams. So I told them I didn’t want to work for them any more and after that, in spite of my prior contributions VENGEANCE WAS THEIRS! They had to make me their designated jackass on xpt and make up a fictitious version of what happened on the kiki d’aire set, saying they were all laughing at me after she tightly wrapped a rope around my cock and balls and then violently yanked it, making my balls spin like a top and flooring me in momentary agony. If they had actually laughed about it in front of me like they later claimed at the time I’d guarantee they’d be dead once I was able to stand up again. They inspired the poontalk guy to behave just the same and abuse me way worse than they ever did. But what do you expect from the creators of “donkey punch” (where a girl gets anally fucked doggie style and the male performer literally punches her hard in the side of the head!). I never even touched Sophia Mounds and do 4 days and they get away with this. Amazing! Still, one of my proudest performances for them was my non sex role as Ashley Blue in “Butterface Part Troix”. If they weren’t so low and cheap, we could’ve continued a mutually beneficial working relationship. That’s one of the basic complaints I have with the pooontalk guy. He abused me worse and worse, for pure malicious and sadistic reasons, after I gave him everything I had, and had other contributors working for or investing as well.
One of their shoots they didnt even have soap in the shower for Roxy Blaze. Bet Dino Bravo has some of the same horror stories. There are some pics in the lib archives of you and Sophia together at a porn event from four years ago, she looks almost sane and “normal”. How did you survive without her strangling you in your sleep?
I don’t know, Larry.
Roxy Blaze was the one who introduced me to them (she’s the one on the cover of “Chunky on the 4th of July”). She was a friend of my friend, “Sven Svensvensen” who I shot my “Roommate Crazy” porno comedy with and she played a non-sex role in that. Sven introduced me to Mr. Poontalk, as well, and thus began a 5 year relationship which went to utter hell after he decided in his fucked up mind that he owned me and got abusive, etc.
When I was young and foolish in this business, and under the misguidance of others, I told Jim South I didn’t want to work for a fledgling new company because they were only paying $200 per scene, didn’t have soap or toilet paper or towels in the bathroom and the girl I was booked with didn’t want to go through with it because her friend was there constantly trying to talk her out of it. Even though I would’ve worked for them once a week I informed Jim that I wish to turn it down, being told by other performers that I shouldn’t work so cheap. That company was New Sensations, and as we know they went on to much bigger and better production values.
@Mr. Steele,
I couldnt pass this one up.
From the Second book of Timothy 4:4 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from thruth and turn aside to myths. Preach the word and be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction.
Mr. Steel, my offer of real education still stands. Just email me and I will set it up for you.
I can’t beleive I am quoting bible verses on this site. They say the Lord works in mysterious ways. This has got to be one of them.
Tim, you aint one of those folks who try to get folks to find Jesus? If anyone is looking for Jesus, I think he is one of the “ringers” they use in Fuck Team Five. Love that concept, real guys off the street with shaved applebags. I think Steele was the first one here to quote the bible in a comment many years ago, any quote of Luke’s doesnt count as one can never be sure if its from the Bible we all use or Luke’s Torah, the Dennis Praeger Signed Edition.
No, Larry, I’m not one of those. I was raised a catholic, went to St. Dominic’s grade school in Ealge Rock, and St. Francis High in La Canada. The only times I have set foot inside a church in the past 25 years has been to either watch someone get married, or watch someone get buried. Once in a while its hard to tell the difference. I live by the simple creed, Do unto others as you would have done to you.
As a kid in grade shcool we always had to do projects based on our Christian names, so I know the books of Timothy pretty well, there’s nothing more to it than that.
Religion and politics are a lethal combination. That is why I try to avoid both, and focus solely on what is best for performers when speaking on these issues. I know that politics, from both sides, are very much a part of this situation, and I walk a very fine line between them. Sometimes its difficult, and it is not always possible to do. But I try. I have said before, each side has legit points, each side has some not so legit points. Neither side is going to get everything they want, but I think those who call for an all or nothing solution are going to end up with nothing. Thats just my opinion, thats what I have to offer. Anybody who wants to can take it or leave it, I just hope I can spark some good debate, and maybe offer some workable solutions.(taking AIM private is a GREAT move)
Thanks Larry, hope you had a great Christmas, and have a great New Year. That goes for everybody.
If you would like an interview, Tim, that’s fine. I’m sure in regards to what you’ve been taught you are very self-confident and you may attempt to give me a “real education” as you put it. However I would not recommend myself to you as a student because I will likely ask you questions you might not expect, know the answer to or care to answer. If you would not mind stating your email (and no lectures please, in case you were to say I should be smart enough to look it up and find it myself) I’ll get back to you. Thanks.
I was expecting something more outlandish, like for instance the origins of the conspiracy known as “Christmas”, but hey, whatever floats your boat, my friend.
I already sold my soul to Santa, so no bad raps on St. Nick arounds here, Colonel. It’s a special and magical time; Like being inside a Disney film, except when you’re stuck in airports getting full cavity searches and crotch measurements while missing flights.
I also omitted the part from my write-up where a space-ship abducts Santa Claus after Midnight Mass and does scientific experiments on him while callously unwrapping, examining and playing with his toys. Some thought the story was but an invention to justify the bad economy and allusiveness of Santa in so many regions.
It’s called “Santa Trapped In Uranus”. Again, as I said, most of what I wrote was true.
Just remember what Darth Vader Sings: Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
AWWWWWWWWW I love the fat black kitty! I had one just like it.( talking about the cat,lol)
Thanks Brittany, but the cat’s not fat at all. When wet or without the fur he looks like a little skinny rat.
For you folks out of CA, LaCanada is a burb of LA. Steve Dahl, Chicago radio legend, is from there. I stopped by my local adult book/video/arcade place today and it was busy. The shooting gallery looked to be at max capacity and there were plenty of folks looking at rental dvds. The funniest thing is that no one tried to make eye contact with anybody else, I do, I dont care. I almost want to yell to everyone: we get to watch porn today. Creepy thing was the two guys in the parking lot sitting in a car, maybe they were gonna share a booth.
Hey, Brittany! Yes, the cat is skin, bones, and ALL fur!!
Why do porn stars date ugly guys?
What’s up Maxi-pad? Where you from? I heard your sister was a Chinese Sqwah named Ugh Lee.
China
Lol! Really? I guess that must prove the rumor as true.
All I know is the pope said for to use condoms so if that makes me catholic all hail gigolos worldwide viva la gigolos
And no markus d is not dead or in jail I will be returning to la Jan 3 and updating my records at aim with condoms and a bottle of wine in hand