Sybarite Awards Erotic Bash
OP/ED by AL Blanco
Faithful LIB readers might recall that I moved from New York to Colorado to pursue my education. That’s a wrap and now I’m back home where I belong and I feel like 14 million Pesos (that’s about a million bucks). I came back and attended Caligula Maximus with Justine Joli and at least one person thought the review posted on LIB completely sucked. Later I realized why: Caligula was from Rome and I was subconsciously recalling past prejudice suffered by racist Guidos. As such, the writing suffered like Tiger Woods’ sex life after he backed into that hydrant Thanksgiving eve.
The Sybarite Awards Erotic Bash on the other hand derives its name from the Greek inhabitants of Sybaris, a colony of hedonists whose residents were referred to as Sybarites. I’ve never had a problem with Greeks; in fact I like them because they are the proprietors of most of the diners in New Jersey, the diner capital of the world. I love diners. They are the restaurant equivalent of Amsterdam’s Red Light District; you can get whatever you want at any time.
The Sybarite Awards is a yearly event celebrating the best in the swing lifestyle. It is produced by my good friend Lola (she’s not a showgirl at the Copa and she doesn’t have a big brown voice) who owns HedoOnline.com (an adult lifestyle website). All of Lola’s parties are a must for any dedicated swinger, however this is her signature event, and if one was to attend any this would be the one.
The event was held at the far west side of midtown Manhattan at Hudson Terrace. It was so far on the west side I thought it was going to be an underwater event in the Hudson river. The locale itself is very upscale and posh with easy patio access for us nicotine fiends, a plus in modern day watered down NY where smoking in a bar/club or restaurant is illegal. Even though it’s been a while since that law got passed by perpetual Mayor Bloomberg, I always thought it was akin to making shitting in a toilet illegal. It’s a fuckin bar!
Upon arrival I see Lola, who always looks stunning in her vast array of corsets; she has an unabashed corset fetish. I’d rather see a woman with a corset fetish than a flannel shirt fetish. It’s at this point I meet the inventor of the Sybian and president of the company, David L. Lampert. I don’t think I should have to explain here what a Sybian is but in a nutshell it’s a ridable mechanical vibrator. It will set you back about $1,400, though that has been its price throughout its existence.
The Sybian also takes its name from Sybaris, the ancient Greek land of hedonism. Make no mistake, David is a cool guy. An older gentleman, he first came up with the idea in 1985. When I asked him what sparked the idea he stated simply because he thought there was a need for it. Talk about a statement which drips with foresight and verbal brevity. The first model was sold in 1987 and the rest is female jack off history. For those curious, the Sybian is not designed for use by gay men, though I’m sure plenty of fellas ride it like a Greyhound bus. Last Thursday David was on the Howard Stern Show and the Sybian made its 132nd appearance. Seems like the Sybian is on Stern more than Artie nowadays POW PING! (yeah I’m an asshole). Sybian also produces the Venus 2000 for men which through a stroke (pun intended…maybe) of mechanical genuis creates a sucking and stroking sensation on a man’s dick. I don’t even know if I’d accept a comp because how am I supposed to explain that to a female that comes over? It’s one thing to have porno, lotion and tissues out and be like, "oh damn what’s that doing there" but a full on sex machine might be too much for some ladies. For more information on the Sybian, please visit www.Sybian.com
The lovely Brittany Andrews was also in attendance and we got to talking about a variety of things, most of which we will rediscuss in a complete interview within the next several weeks. She’s been out of the biz for three years now and has been up to some interesting things. Believe the interview will touch any and all subjects and if you feel compelled, email me with any questions you might have for Brittany. Also in attendance was Penthouse Pet of the Year Taylor Vixen, an all natural feast for the eyes. I might even have to bestow official dime piece status on her. Unfortunately this conversation occurred later in the evening after a few alcoholic beverages and my notes look like they were written by a caveman. I will be in contact with Penthouse for a do over, and hope to have that for LIB soon.
I think the event was an outstanding success, but don’t take it from me, take it from Brittany who told me "this is the most upscale swinger party I have ever been to in New York." Enough said. Lola’s parties are always decorated with great attention to detail and features her staff of male and female eye candy, though in my completely hetero opinion, the guys had it going on more. They’re all diesel and hairless, kind of the opposite of me. I bet they use a Popeye spinach type of steroid that makes them strong but then they go back to being normal (just playing Jimmy).
Don’t get me wrong, the ladies represented as well and all of her staff was body painted, which was available for all (hairless) attendees. Lola also has a very capable DJ at her events, DJ Fat Fingaz. For me this is extremely important. I will not go to any party or event where I know the music will be wack. I don’t care how many hot women will be there, I can’t be forced to listen to music I think sucks and if a DJ plays the entire song, they’re doing something wrong.
Trust I will be at the next event Lola invites me too. Next is Kristin Davis’ campaign fundraiser and an interview with the Madam herself. A full list of the winners is listed below.
2010 Sybarite Awards
Best Website:
Kasidie.com
Las Vegas
Best New Website:
LoveVooDoo.com
Maryland
Favorite Lifestyle Club:
TABU
Baltimore
Favorite Product:
SYBIAN
Illinois
Party of The Year:
Hot Entourage for- Their NYE 2009 Soiree ‘Corsia Di Amanti’
Florence Italy
Honorable Mention:
SexyValleyGirls
Allentown PA
Favorite On Premise & Off Premise Party:
OneLegUp
NYC
*One Leg Up won in dual categories, which is the first time in Sybarite Awards history anyone was walked away with winning more than one.
… speaking of Auto Focus, Hey Al, does your camera have that feature? Where are the descriptive details of the swinger event, itself? Was that old guy there, too? How about those painted girls? Did you get finally get laid? lol j/k
Were they playing Lady Gaga music there, as they do everywhere?
http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/i-think-lady-gaga-sucks-agree-or-disagree/question-638405/?showResults=1&page=3#comments
Germy Steal asking about someones camera? Thats funny. At least he didnt steal the camera. Yeah, its got autofocus and serial number! You probably scratched off the serial numbers on the camera you have.
My camera is a little jacked up, however it is extra tough and waterproof so I keep it around. Descriptive details? Music played, people danced, some ugly guy got a blow job from a more attractive chick, this isn’t the NY Times. The old guy is the inventor of the sybian… the painted girls were there too… Actually I had sex with every female attendee and gave them all the newest strain of Herp I picked up from some prostitutes in Mexico. Any other questions?
awesome, did you give the ugly guy a thumb’s up?
na just an approving nod and I kept it moving
David Lambert’s performance on the Stern show last week was classic. He sat on the Sybian and controlled it while the girl rode and as he instructed her it was in this monotone voice. The crew had to help him on and off the Sybian. This is a great man. Al, did the girls in Mexico know the name Brandon Iron?
Sybian is a family business too, the younger guy next to him is his son in law. I did not discuss that man with Maria, Consuela, Conchata, Alejandra and Sarita so I can’t tell you. They gave me great investment advice though.
Come out of the closet, Roy Garcia.
You’re being too consistent now. When you come on as BDD you always spell it “Steel” not “Steal”.
Sorry about your mom. She must be very proud of you, though, looking down on you now and asking herself “Where did I go wrong?” Maybe I should ask Jim Powers to contact and explain things to you because calling someone a thief is as fucked up as mailing box covers to pornstar’s parents or making up lies regarding what Belladonna said.
You should also read Erich Fromm’s “The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness”. You may learn something, loser.
Another funny thing about Roy’s lie that I just remembered… He claims he wouldn’t book me for scenes any more because I supposedly tried to kiss Belladonna during that anabolic gangbang. Actually, the scene, shot in an old jail house, started off where she licked each of the guys assholes. I remember Mark Davis standing next to me, just as a joke, as he bent over for her to lick his ass, he pushed his dick back through his legs and upward so it was in the way of the analingus. There was a little bit of laughing about the whole thing at that moment and the director yelled “Stop messing around”, because some of the guys were hooting and hollering, but no one was upset about it. That was probably the “worst” thing that happened on the set, which was nothing, really. Then for the rest of the shoot, it all settled down, and it was one guy taking short turns on her, after another… So if I had actually tried to kiss Belladonna, Roy, not only am I tasting lots of dick but lotsa ass. I’d imagine I’d be the laughing stock of that production if that had actually happened! lol.
LDR= King of all losers!
Not sure what this has to do with this post Jeremy, but I actually agree with you and I have my own reasons.
Since everyone here is so knowledgeable about STD’s I had a question. How long does a Herpes outbreak last?
I was only responding to LDR’s comment, earlier. He thought he should come back on to try and fool the 3 people who read LIB who are still confused as to his identity.
oh didn’t see that, but hes right… That’s a 500 dollar camera, couple years old and some issues with focus occasionally (or maybe the cameraman) but its water proof, does vid and you can drop that on the ground all you want and its all good