Cassandra Calogera seems to be struggling. First (may 10th) I read her blog talking about depression and an eating disorder. Then (May 12th) I read about her problem with drugs she took. She’s only 22, a cute girl, new to porn. Can somebody grab her and take her by the hand? Let’s not let her go down that typical path. We’ve got all the signs early enough to see she needs some help. Cass? You listening?
picture she took of herself on May 10th
May 10th, 2009 from her blog
feeling down..
i write a lot of poetry when i get depressed….i am struggling alot right now with some issues…just wanted to share my work with you guys
its regarding an 8 year struggle with an eating disorder
its funny…its frustrating…its frightening…..its lonely….its all too ironic.
when you spend years with secrets, hiding who you are, denying the confrontations, refusing the help, ignoring the people who cared, putting a smile on for everyone except yourself.
there comes a time when you can’t hold it inside anymore. the fear, the anger, the helplessness that you feel has got to escape…it’s spilling out into your blood, its all you think about….you will be consumed.
but now there is no one there to hear you…no one left to listen, no one there to hold your hand. your in too deep. you spill your guts out, wishing, praying that someone will look into your eyes and give you the hope that you so desperately need. but it doesn’t come…
its when you want to change, when you want to get better, that you are left to fend for yourself. i’m just hoping…praying, that somewhere inside of me is the strength to fight a war. its a fight to the death…and knowing eyes watch me die inside everyday, if they only knew how much i needed them to care, maybe then i wouldn’t be counting the days till my defeat.
(Having read more about her, I believe she is struggling with over eating and weight gain, and is trying to lose weight)
*****
FROM TWITTER May 12, 2009 Account of Casscalogeraxxx
thinks i have done my last drug for life…. glad to be alive today. fuck wasting your life in a daze
now it is…had a scary situation last night but looks like i will be fine
thank you i need all the prayers i can get
thought i had figured it out a few years ago, but hollywood can put u back in the drug scene
depends on what drug ur talking about. for me i need to just stop using everything. just a personal choice
still feeling like shit…heart palpitations are still here but i feel like they are slowly getting better as i hydrate. drugs are scary
nah, got bad e pills. mixed with meth i think…didnt have the best reaction to it
She isn’t huge at all and has a nice niche as one of the natural big boob girls. Ecstacy is not the drug to take for weight loss.
WOW. Somebody please talk to this girl maybe she should be admitted into celebrity Rehab and hang out with Dr. Drew..
She should.
1. Move out of Cali.
2. Get a good shrink and support group.
3. Thinking about quitting or at least slow down.
I bet her eating disorder and other self image problems as well as her drugs problems are the result of some deeper problems she cannot talk about, even to herself.
“when you spend years with secrets, hiding who you are, denying the confrontations, refusing the help, ignoring the people who cared, putting a smile on for everyone except yourself.
there comes a time when you can’t hold it inside anymore. the fear, the anger, the helplessness that you feel has got to escape…it’s spilling out into your blood, its all you think about….you will be consumed.”
I know a well know PW/escort/feature dancer, a 8 year industry veteran and still much in demand that is going through similar issues. Im very worried for her.
In her case the root problem is incest, I do not know what is Casandra’s root problem, but drugs, eating disorders and self image problems are often the result of a larger internal problem.
She do needs to see a doctor and thinking about changing her lifestyle. She needs also to contact a social worker.
She really should move out of state and get away from the LA crowd. I’ll tell Shelley about her but I think she likes porn and it’s too soon for her to be convinced to leave yet.
She also might have a slow cash flow because she had to stop working for a while:
https://www.lukeisback.com/?p=6100
Please don’t get Shelley involved, because religion is not the answer. Cassandra needs some counseling, not a new bible.
She’s new to porn? How is two years and nearly 50 scenes new? That’s longer than the majority of girls make it.
Maybe Shelley can lead her in a different direction and towards counselling. Not necessarily religion because though I’m Catholic, I’ve seen religion ruin many people. She can tell Cassandra to go to this counsellor or this rehab that she knows or talk to these other girls who have left in the past. Many girls do talk to Shelley which I do know for a fact. And they’re still in porn. So she can help in other way even if the girls stay in porn.
If she believes in praying she kind of believes in a higher power. So religion might be helpfull as long as do not excludes counseling and medication.
We do not know what the roots of her problem are. If is childhood abuse, she might get religious as a part of the healing process. That kind of sex workers, the ones that got into the industry to act out chilhood sexual abuse are often interested in religion. So as long that is not a anger filled, socialy isolating fundamentelist sect, she might get something of moderate spirituality. But that is to inspire and help profesional counseling, not to replace it.
My beef with many evangelicals is that they do not seem to understand the idea of mental illness and often belief that lack of cure=lack of faith. That makes things worse. And many of them of course are hostile to the idea of pyschatric care and medication.
She doesn’t have enough problems? The last thing she needs is any kind of religious influence. She already is having a hard time dealing with reality. Insulating herself from reality further is not going to do any good.
I understand your secularist/atheist rage at religion but that is not how the brain works. As some people has noted, even Richard Dawking but he realized to study the implications “it seems that there is a inbuilt capacity for irrationality in the brain”, Dawkins did mention there must has been some evolutionary advantage but he did not go this avenue because that not fit his secularist agenda. Alper in “God is in the Brain” did say that somehow belief in a higher power seems related to the survival instict. And Casandra seems to be falling into survival mode.
Sumiting into reality might even destroy her, take the example of Kurt Cobain, once he became clean of drugs, he commited suicide.
Kurt Cobain was clean except for the heroin and Valium found in his system when he died.
The urge to believe in a higher power is no different than any other desire. The ability to filter our urges with rational thought and determine what is or is not beneficial in the short term vs. the long term is what separates humans from other animals.
1. Humans are animals.
2. Free will is overrated as most neurologists are finding right now. Many impulses, desires and actions are taken before the brain ever can filter them, and addicts, whores and many other people seem to have poor emotional control due to a underdeveloped frontal lobe in the brain. We are not Vulcans. An PW I know told me that she does not really knows why she does half off the things she does. Another one told me that she acts crazy sometimes and she does not know why.
Both were sexually abused by their fathers. Chilhood abuse and neglegect are often tied with a retaded developement of the frontal lobe connections in the brain that put a brake on reckless and/or addictive behaviors. Porn whores do show both reckless and addictive behaviors in spades. One of the classic porn whores of the 1980s showed that while she has the average intelligence of a working class woman, she has the emotional control abilities of a 12 year old. BTW, you are treating belief in a Higher Power as some sort of addiction that can be controled by the frontal love as any other desire. The God part of the brain is on the top of the head, and compromises both hemispheres of the brain. Religious people and women often have more connections between both hemispheres of the brain that non religuious people and men. No wonder why there is a signicantive differences between women and men regarding to religious belief and practices, or that Atheist clubs are often sausage feasts.
So we cannot overule some religious behavior as a brain function that can be programet for a certain set of beliefs but cannot be oberruled completely.
Ok, Kurt was not the best example, but my point is that sometimes if we attain only to evidence that can be measured by the senses, suicide seems often the best answer. As DR Manhattan said, “the existence of life is a largely overrated phenomena”.
Somethimes a person in order to survive needs to believe in that his life have a higher meaning than just recombinate her genome with another human being and live long enough to insure that the offspring will keep his genes in the population of the species.
I didn’t say humans aren’t animals. Quite the opposite.
The insular cortex produces similar effects when the body reacts to stimuli it perceives as positive, be it chemical or emotional. Whether other parts of the brain are able to properly filter this stimuli is certainly debatable.
DR Manhattan?
Dr Manhattan, the Watchmen.