Nate Goes to Jail, A (former) Porn Clerk’s story- part 1

The times I went to jail for “the biz”

by Nate from PORNNEWZ.COM

Anytime I tell people that I went to jail for this industry, they always have tons of follow up questions and seem to enjoy hearing about it.  So now that I have the media of Porn Newz behind me, I figured this would be a great way to tell my story to the masses.
So did all those years of watching Oz help out?  Did I have to fill a pillowcase with RC’s like Sean Penn is Bad Boys and beat down some bullies?  Read More to find out!
I started out in this business as a clerk for a porn store in Dallas.  When I started there, it was a regular occurrence for a clerk to get busted for “pandering obscenity” at a rate of 1 clerk every 2 weeks.  It was the City of Dallas’ way to appease the Christian Right and those that demanded they crack down on porn stores, strip clubs, etc.  However, their efforts did very little to ever hamper the stores’ and clubs’ revenue.

How it all worked is that the Vice Squad would send in a plain-clothes cop, he’d buy a VHS, and about a month later, the store would get a letter informing them that a warrant for arrest was issued for the clerk that sold the movie.  We clerks would then be informed, and we’d schedule a day to go turn ourselves in.  You had to go turn yourself in, fill out some paperwork, and be booked into custody and put in the holding tank.  The fewer people in the holding tank, the quicker you got out of custody, so we had our routine down to a science.  We knew which days had the fewest number of people in the tank.  You didn’t go on weekends since more people were likely to get drunk and arrested on Fri, Saturday or Sunday.  Our preferred days were Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  It was also helpful if you didn’t have a lot of items on your person, as that’s just more stuff for the police to inventory or for you to carry into the tank, in full view of your fellow inmates.  If you were smart, you took your ID, your paperwork, and enough change to make 2 phone calls and that was it.  I’d always wear long sleeve shirts and wear a pullover hoodie, as the hoodie could be used as a pillow in the cold, concrete holding tank.

You don’t take the food/drink you are offered because the minute you did, some other inmate would hit you up trying to take it from you.  Not that the fellow inmates were always violent, just staying under the radar seemed to be the best way to go.  In the event I was asked the generic “What are you in for” question, I was honest…I told them I worked at a porn store and that I was being paid to be here.  Porn is a great uniter, no matter what crime my fellow inmates had committed, mine was considered to be the “coolest”, winning me the adoration of everyone else in the tank.  Even the cops that booked us in didn’t realize you could go to jail for working at a porn store, and they too, would ask me questions like “how much does it cost to rent there?”

Typically, you would be in the holding tank for about 4 hours.  I hardly ever was in there for longer than that.  I’d find someplace to lie down, bust out my hoodie, cover my eyes with it, and go into a light sleep.  When your name was called, you’d go out, take some fingerprints, and take your mug shots.  My fellow employees were there so often that the mug shot photographer knew us all by name.  She’d tell me, “ya know Jon was just in here last week”, and she’d even let me preview my mug shot and take it over if it didn’t turn out too good.  Hey, even a mug shot can be done like a glamour shot with enough tries.

After all that, you were released and you could go home.  About a month later, you’d have a court date, and go plead “No Contest”.  You’d get time-served and a fine, the business paid the fine, and it was back to business as usual.

Part 2 coming up…