Walk The Walk
By The Colonel
I’m sick and tired with debating over what it is and what does it take to be a porn dude with those who have absolutely no idea what the fuck they’re talking about. Let me put it this way: you think fucking on film for a living is easy? Fine. You think anybody can take a bunch of pills or shoot his dick and get it hard in a room full of strangers, maintain his hardness, fuck for 30 to 40 minutes straight, poses uncomfortable positions so the camera guys can take proper shots and then cum on demand; you think it’s all easy? Fine. I don’t know where this comparison between an adult performer and a cop or fire man or Wall Mart cashier or whatever the fuck comes from and how could it be relevant, and I don’t give a shit either.
So here’s the deal: I’m willing to give anybody who wants to try for himself a shot. My friend Cindi has my personal and business information. Send her an email with a brief description of yourself and at least 2 pictures and ask her to forward it to me. I’ll give you the chance to be in a porn movie. You must live in Los Angeles area or willing to travel and stay temporarily on your own expenses. In addition, you must pay $120 to get tested and obtain Viagra, similar pills or Caverject either through your insurance or by paying from your pocket. Once you were set, I’ll manage a shoot for you, and after that you’ll be on your own, pal.
However, let me tell you what will more likely happen because I’ve seen this scenario too many times: once you enter the room filled with the girl, the director and probably his guests, two camera men, make-up artist and PA, even if you’ve already taken Viagra or any other similar pills or have injected yourself with Caverject, you can’t get hard. Why? Because all those supplements only maintain your hardness after you’re sexually aroused and hard, they don’t cause arousal, and trust me in an uncomfortable, unfamiliar and stressful environment with that many strangers around you, the chances are you can’t and won’t get sexually aroused, and you can’t depend on the girl to arouse you either. I’ll tell you what her answer would be if you ask her to help you to get it hard. She’ll tell you she’s here to fuck you on film, that’s her job, nobody pays her to suck your dick off camera; and my friends everything you’ve heard about the fluffers, well let me put it this way: they’re as much real as the Santa Claus, nobody in this business hires extra whores to suck your dick and service you off camera. Either you get it hard on your own or you don’t; and even if you do get it hard, chances are you can’t maintain it long enough. Because the director constantly orders you to stop, change your position or pose for hardcore stills. Even if you manage through all that, again the chances are you’re gonna pop long before 30 or 40 minutes of needed and required footage is recorded.
This was a brief description of the work of a male performer, so now you know why you keep seeing the same guys in every porn scenes, because mentally and phisycally, there aren’t many guys who can do this. Many guys try, fail and leave but there are only a handful of guys who’ve been doing this for a long time and now you understand. Even if you’ve already shot some amateur stuff with your girl friend or wife using a camera on tripod or your best buddy to film the scene, you need to know that’s an entirely different experience form shooting a professional scene in a business oriented environment. Remember, when on a set, you’re not getting paid to have fun and enjoy yourself; if you enjoy the work, good for you, but mainly you’re getting paid to do a job. And a job is just that: a fucking job.
After all said, I’m down with you guys. Here’s your chance to take your shot. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk and see for yourself.
NL- Really interesting topic Colonel. Maybe you can do a part 2 & 3?
I have a funny feeling all the people here who think filming is a piece of cake, suddenly are not feeling like having a shot at stardom.
A friend of mine recently shot a ‘blowbang’ with 8 guys…. 5 of them could not get it up.
Nice piece Colonel.
Thank you Vicky, keep up the good work.
Whew! Good thing there’s only a small number of capable male performers out there that can get the job done.
Too bad that having such a small number of capable male performers ensures that most, if not all, of the female talent will get some form of STD by the time she “retires”….
Colonel, you said….”I was serious when I said I would FUCK YOU UP”….
Bring it on you little pussy chickenshit. All your threats and here I am calling you a pussy and you do nothing to back up those repeated threats. Keyboard warrior colonel, making threats and hiding behind his computer when he gets called out.
You aint gonna do shit you fucking pussy. You dont have the balls to back up YOUR threats. You say youre going to fuck me up yet you have done nothing in months and I am still calling you a lying little chickenshit pussy, and you do nothing.
Now maybe you can describe the work of an internet keyboard warrior who threatens to fuck people up but then does nothing, even whe the subject of those threats continues to call you out. Please describe how difficult it is to hide behind your keyboard and make EMPTY threats that you know you dont have the guts or balls to back up.
You fucking little coward. Youre even afraid to tell us who you are.. Yeah, sure, big time porn insider(lol)
I don’t understand how did you coclude that female performers get some form of STD from male performers and not the other way around. Too bad I’m not inside your deranged mind to understand that, not that I give a shit about your opinion either. Just to remind you, here we’re talking about what it takes and what it’s like to be a male performer, we’re not talking about the physical and/or psychological aftermath of being in the adult industry or the moral aspects of it. So if you have something to add to this topic, spit it out, but if you’re here to derail the subject and stir shit up, then shut up and go fuck yourself.
NL-Comments Deleted. Enough general.
Cindi, notice that General is here to once again derail my thread and causes unnecessary and unwanted drama on this website. Please advise General to stay away from my thread because I don’t have the time, reason or interest to involve myself or the readers in childish internet fights. Thank you.
Very nice Colonel…question do all the male talent need to take “the drugs” to person, or is a beginning of the career thing??
How many do you take???
Definitley good article Colonel. I have questions also. Do long time porn guys who have always gotten it up with no problem resent the new cummers who use the meds? It used to be part of the skill involved, (getting and keeping your dick hard), now anyone with a prescription can keep it hard. Can you name any names, of those that use drugs or those that don’t?
Thanks Colonel. I may take cheap shots at Steele but know he can perform, which is no mean feat. Trannyfucker dont count, look at the flushing. As for performers, we know Tom Byron has been popping pills for years(its on tape) and Lockwood has used Carveject. But part of the reason you still see a lot of fossils around is that they can perform under pressure, even pieces of crap like Johnny Thrust. Sadly it means Dick Nasty and Rod Fontana may be around for a but longer, shoot they may die on the couch during a break in a scene. Lets promote the Colonel to Field Marshall, though it may insult the great FM Bradley.
Thank you girls. To answer your questions, the use of drugs such as Viagra and Caverject became common in the adult industry somewhere around the late 90’s. Prior to that, guys were pretty much on their own. The old timers including Ron Jeremy, Herschel Savage, Mike Horner, etc. are among the people who are not dependent on drugs. Today they may or may not use them in order to enhance their performance, but they’re not dependent on it; while the majority of new comers are entirely dependent on one drug or another.
However it’s important to know that in case of performing sex on film, it’s mind over matter. In other words, you have to mentally prepare yourself and be in a certain mood in order to be able to get hard in a rather uncomfortable and unfamiliar environment, maintain your hardness, follow the directions and cum on demand; and that’s why performing in porn movies is not for everybody, even though I assume that’s every average guy’s fantasy.
Righ on Larry. It’s great to have you on this board.
Germy can take cheap shots like a man, so no problem.
I promote the Coronel to ubergruppenführer.
Thank you Rics. Ubergruppenführer, man I like that, sounds catchy.
As for Jeremy Steele, he’s been in our industry for over a decade and has established himself as a reliable male performer. Surely he had his share of good and bad working days, but overall he’s a guy you can count on to deliver a good scene and get the job done.
and you colonel? What do you use?
I use Viagra to enhance my performance, but I’m not dependent on it. I’ve been here long before Viagra arrived, so I had to rely on myself and my own mindset. Ever heard that old saying: ‘It’s all in your head.’ In case of performing, it all comes down to that.
Besides, it helps if you like who you’re fucking. My advantage as a producer/performer is that I get to choose who I’d like to fuck in my scenes, but regular performers don’t have that advantage and must get along with whoever they get thrown in the arena with; and man they have stories to tell you about that.
Hey thanx fellas!
I think The General should date Sophia Mounds. Ask The Colonel for her address…
Jeremy, maybe you and I should share some of our male performer horror stories with this board so they get a more clear picture of the adult industry. You know, drama queens, drunken sailors, crack heads, pimp husbands/boy friends on the set, bleeding pussies, stinking pussies, dirty assholes, over douching, etc. Everything that can go wrong in a day’s work. After all, it’s not always fun and games.
Can you make that your next essay, Colonel?
i can think of several.. but here’s a few:
One time i was involved as the top guy in a d.p. doggie on this dumb klutz milf (before the term “milf” was born) who twice in the scene jerked her head upwards as she was getting fucked and smashed her skull up into my jaw… i just shook it off, didn’t say anything and kept fucking without missing a beat… meanwhile while my jaw is hurting the suitcase pimp runs in yelling in the middle of the the scene that they’ve been shooting and we’ve been fucking her for too long… right after the scene ended the cops came in.. apparently the scene right before ours was shot in the upstairs living room and they never shut the curtains… i was in the kitchen and just pretended i was part of craft service and said “i guess it’s time to put the food away now”
once a girl had a jagged tooth and sliced my cock during a b.j. and it was gushing blood like crazy… i still finished the scene.. no complaints
one time a chick had to stop every five minutes to have a swig of hard liquor… she was a drunken cunt
not long ago will ryder tells some ignorant chick we’re ready for the pop and tells her after i shoot my load on her face for her to do some “cum play” wipe it around her face like she loves and she says no it’s not in her contract, she gets upset, yells, cries, argues, i was close to busting a nut right before this all happened but had to wait about 45 minutes for her to talk to her agent to check that it’s ok… then i told her to rub my nuts while i whack it and she proceeds to squeeze em like she’s trying to break them out of the sack… still i did my job, no problem…
years ago i worked a live internet b/g scene with a chick named katrina rosebud, while we were talking (we had hung out had dinner once, and she had been to my place before) she told me she changed her stage name to another name (can’t remember)…. at one point while fucking her she got upset that i wasn’t being verbal enough and she grabbed my nuts hard and squeezed them… i said “take it easy _____” then she freaks out and says i just said her real name… confused i said she just told me it was her stage name.. but she said no, she didn’t.. and i did that on purpose… so she pulled a sophia mounds and decided to get vengeance and make shit up… one day i read on one of those malicious gossip sites where they’re always looking for people to talk shit about.. she was maliciously babbling how i couldn’t perform and couldn’t pop which was a complete lie.. pure evil and insanity
sorry i meant upstairs bedroom
Love this. You are so fucking right on Colonel. Being a male performer is not easy. In the 70’s, 80’s and early 90’s you had the same 9 or 10 guys in every movie. Try renting any 80’s flick and I bet you your weekend nachos that either Tom Byron or Peter North is in it.
Getting a hardon starts in your mind. Male Performer Evan Stone was on the radio not too long ago and was asked about viagra use in the industry. He said “we have lots of guys..when we give them their prescription, they still cant perform.”
Anybody who says its easy is insane. Fuck you if you think they can “fix it in post.” Penetration shots are needed, this isnt softcore you fucknutt. I hope some guys take the challenge. I sure think some would with all the unemployment out there.
My brother Colonel, keep your whore and production costs at a minimum on this one. I dont think this is going to be pretty.
Good luck to all the potential woodsmen
I’m with Cindi Colonel, make that your next article. But you know how squeamish I am so please be genital.
Jeremy, thank you for the stories.
Check this out: one time I was supposed to shot a DP scene. So me, the other dude and the whole crew had to sit with our thumbs up our asses untill the whore arrived. She was some 2 hours late. We started rolling, and when it got to anal part, she was riding the other dude in reverse cow girl while I was standing above her, fucking her throat, suddenly the dude said stop, fucking stop for a second, and yeah, we realized she just shit all over his dick.
She cleaned up, did another enema and we went back at it, this time she shit all over my dick, frankly I don’t know where did all that shit come from. Anyway, the scene was supposed to end with an anal creampie shot which I had to deliver. I fucked her ass for a good 10 minutes and dropped a load inside her. She started pushing her asshole to get the cum out, and guess what, along with my cum, she took a big fucking dump in the middle of my fucking set. You got that right, this much shit all in a day of work. It comes with territory, you know.
Kay, I hope you find the above story gentle and romantic enough.
And Jun Jun, thank you for stopping by brother. I’m looking forward to some porn star wanna be applicants, even though I doubt if I get many of them. Hopefully I was able to give them a glimpse of what’s going on behind the porn scenes they’re so desperately and obsessively jerking off to.
Colonel if that is what you call gentle and romance. I have no idea why you have not be snapped up by a women for holy matrimony bliss.
In porn and in life we learn that shit happens… literally. Good diet and enemas are important.
Kay, probably I’m too unholy for the holy matrimony.
And Lotefa, maybe I write a full article about male performer horror stories in the future; that actually is a good idea. Thank you for your suggestion.
Untill then, check this out, another story: one time I booked this whore who came to set with her pimp husband. He was a trailer trash, tattoed fat ass. When I started fucking his wife, he took his dick off and started jerking off. I stopped the scene and told him dude, what are you doing? You’re fucking up my concentration. He said I’m sorry man, I just love watching my wife getting fucked. I said you know what, you gotta leave and wait outside, just go get something to eat or whatever. He left, I fucked his wife and then called him to come pick her up. When he came, he showed me a reciept and said I just went to the closest bar and spent 20 bucks. You gotta reimburse me for that. I paid him 20 bucks and he took his wife home, they both were happy as fucking clams.
Production assisant must be one of the worst jobs in porn if they are the ones that clean up these ass shiting incidents.
I was always amazed by how admitted coke heads and alcoholics such as Buck Adams, Jerry Butler, Marc Wallice, etc. had no problem performing. One time on spring break, some friends rented a porn flick that had these grotesque, massive fat chicks. These were the 400 pound type you see on TV that cant get out of bed because of their size. The movie was called “Fatliners -life after death after lunch.” Wallice fucked 2 of the nastiest girls in this flick like it was nothing. This was in the early 90’s so he wasnt geeked up on enhancers.
Ron Jeremy did one of the girls too. It was funny how small and skinny Ron looked compared to this huge women. Years later, somebody asked Ron about the movie. He said he got paid extra and to get aroused they had Playboy magazines on the set that he looked at before his scene. Just more proof that this gig is all mental.
Jun Jun, I know that fat chick flick you’re talking about, that’s porn macabre at it’s best, definitely not erotic and sexy in any way, but fucking hilarious.
It’s all mental, man. Trust me, if you’r mentally prepared and in the right mood, you can fuck a grandma on a wheelchair for 30 to 40 minutes; but if you’re feeling uncomfortable and under stress, no drug, no supplement and no divine intervention can help you to fuck the hottest chick on a porn set.
One thing that definitely adds so much to the uncomfortable, stressful environment is the girl’s attitude. Most of them are fine, they’re there to do business and make money but in the same time try to have fun and make it enjoyable for themselves and their male counterpart; but some of them have a fucking nasty hooker mentality. They obviously hate what they’re doing, hate themselves and whoever they’r doing it with. I have zero tolerance for those kind of whores which as I mentioned are fortunately in minority, but once in a blue moon if I end up with a whore like that, I kill the scene and send her home. I believe if someone doesn’t appreciate my business, then she doesn’t fucking deserve it.