Stormy tells us what fans should NOT say tto a porn star

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
Jan 2nd 2009
By Emily McCombs
from SexSmoov http://www.asylum.com/

It’s AVN season, the time when porn stars dress up in their finest PVC attire and compete for awards in categories such "Best All-Girl 3-Way Sex Scene." And for those lucky enough to be attending the AVN awards on January 10th in Las Vegas, it’s also the time when porn stars leap out of the DVD player and come to life to pose for pictures and sign your time-worn copy of "Jenna Loves Rocco."

Luckily, adult entertainer and Wicked Girl Stormy Daniels (who is nominated for both "Best Supporting Actress" and "Crossover Star of the Year") was kind enough to give us some pointers on how to keep your foot out of your mouth when faced with your favorite porn stars.

 

Read on to find out 10 things you should never say to a porn star.

10. You’re too pretty to do porn. (So, you’re saying you would prefer to watch ugly people f*ck?)

9. Your vagina must be really worn out. (Mine isn’t nearly as bad as your mother’s after pushing such a giant idiot like you out of it.)

8. I would never watch porn. I think it is degrading to women. (Then how did you know my name? And my measurements? And my astrological sign? And my birthdate?)

7. How do I get my girlfriend/wife to do ________? (Ask her, not me. By the way, talking to me in the first place is not helping your cause.)

6. Wow! You’re so much prettier/younger/thinner in your photos. (Obviously your mother didn’t teach you anything and it is called Photoshop.)

5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn’t need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)

4. I could do porn. (No, you couldn’t. If you could, you already would be … and no, I will NOT audition you!)

3. Are those yours? (Well, I paid for them.)

2. Do you think you are going to hell? (Discussing religion with a porn star will get you as far as discussing porn with your grandmother … just don’t try it.)

1. I wanna take you out on a "real" date. ( I did not realize all my other ones were imaginary.)

49 thoughts on “Stormy tells us what fans should NOT say tto a porn star

  1. Real Luke Ford Fan says:

    May I say or not say to “Stormy” Daniels: Why haven’t you done interracial?

  2. jeremiahsteele says:

    Stormy’s a good name for her.

  3. The Colonel says:

    Read on fanboys, you miserable worthless creatures. See how whores truely feel about you happy-go-lucky no life morons, don’t believe a whore’s smile when she’s posing to take pictures with you or sign your stupid t-shirt.

    I’d love to get to each and everyone of you little pricks and fist fuck your throats until your teeth meet my raw elbow. You junk food eating, bus riding, minimum wage earning, lonely limp dick faggots.

  4. elglorioso says:

    well said colonel

  5. “5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn’t need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)”

    Stormy, honey, in your line of work you had even worse things in your mouth, and unfortunately you do not know exactly where then has been.

  6. Its “they have been”. In case the grammar nazi arrives.

  7. Real Luke Ford Fan says:

    Ditto, Rics.

  8. ah, the fan boi looking for approval and the whore providing nothing but denial, to him, and also herself.

  9. bigdicknasty says:

    Moz was once a fan boi to and she puts him in her mouth.

  10. Here some questions worth asking a porn girl:

    “Were you molested as a child?”

    “What kind of STD’s have you had?”

    “Do you have a brother or dad who have seen your movies?” “If so, did they pleasure themselves?”

    “How many licks do you think it would take you to get to the center of a charms blow pop?

    “Do civilian men you sleep with shave their nutsacks?”

    Try these. They will surely bring a smile to any porn vixen

  11. The Colonel says:

    More questions: How much for a private session?

    Do you pay your husband/boy friend’s bills?

    Do you have a car or you take the bus?

    Do you have a bank account?

    Cocaine or crack?

  12. how many times is it proper to masturbate to a favorite porn star per day and not be catagorized as a ‘pathetic loser’?

  13. >>>5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn’t need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)<<<

    Too bad she ruined a perfectly sensible rules list by putting this foolish one in there, it ruins the whole damn thing unfortunately. Don’t show distain like this for busy handed fans ever! If it were not for them there would be no pornstar you.

  14. “Were you molested as a child?”

    I asked that question several times.

    If is a public forum the most likely anwsers would be “I have a good relatioship with my father, he is a great man”, (note she is not deniying being molested) or “I do not want to talk about that” (in other words=yes I was).

    In private the responses can be very honest.

  15. Another question

    Do you have a car, take the bus, or blow one of Derek Hay’s drivers to get to your gigs?

  16. And if you drive, do you manage to stay sober while driving?

  17. just in case the industry is not feeling enough of a recession/depression let’s just fuel the downward spiral by allowing angry and delusional porn stars (who behind a very thin veil of acute self-hatred as well as consequently hatred of everyone who actually loves them) to mouth off to their fans

    1. if someone says ‘you’re too pretty for porn’ say ‘thankyou’ instead of ‘fuck you’

    2. if someone hypothetically says ‘i think j.m. productions and donkeypunch is degrading to women’ don’t assume they know your name, birthdate, measurements or that these things have any relevance

    3. if wicked or whoever else is paying your salary, don’t misrepresent the company or fuck up fanboy’s fantasies. fanboys are the industries bread and butter and when a time comes where you can’t even afford bread and butter maybe some won’t be so obnoxious. then again, there some people who get off on being abused.

    i remember there was some dude, i forget his name, several years ago he won avn best actor award for some kris kramski movie (a director i used to work for), i had heard this dude had issues about being a porn star, didn’t like what he was, but that’s where he allowed himself to end up. i told him conversationally that i also worked for kramski and he fucking blew up in front of me and yelled “SO!!??”… i just stood there, stared at him for a second and walked away… i think he quit the business soon after that. sex is just sex. it’s no big deal but if you have issues with yourself don’t fucking take em out on other people, ok?

  18. How about,” Why are you such a cunt?” She should get over herself!!!

  19. eisforeric says:

    I love that she’s offended by people saying they jerk off to her.

    Here’s a suggestion: IF YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE KNOWING PEOPLE BEAT OFF TO YOU, STOP FUCKING STARRING IN PORN MOVIES. Dipshit.

  20. “cancel that bitch, I’ll buy another”

  21. The Colonel says:

    The truth is girls in the adult industry are constantly objectified, while a few enjoy that because they’re honest to god, natural born sluts, but the majority of them do this as a job and achieve little or no enjoyment out of it. They eventually become sensitive and feel extremely vulnerable, that’s why in their real life they try to distance themselves as far as they can from their porn persona. For better or for worse, they see fanboys as predators staring at a prey, that’s why they get defensive against them.

  22. Your flash of uncharacteristic sensitivity and logic behind this bitch’s actions aside, you don’t bite the hand that feeds you, ever.

  23. Totally true sir. The ones that I have talked too feel exactly that way. The honest to God, natural born slut like our beloved Ruby is rare. Most hate what they do for a living and are filled with seflhatred. That is why substance abuse is so prevalent among them. That is why the destroy prefectly natural breast with bad surgery, that is why the get all those ugly tattoos. And they can be very defensive of fanboys.
    I know one that was in a cafeteria line and threw coffee on a man that recognized her years after quiting her porn job. Tracy Lords said that each time someone congratulates her it felt like she was getting stabbed.
    If I see a porn chick in a public place would ignore her. But well, I do that with all celebrities anyways.

  24. Am I having an acid flashback? When did this place turn into The View or Oprah? Why is the screen melting?

  25. The Colonel says:

    Rics, you’re right. The emotional and psychological effect the adult industry can have on girls is undeniable. For every one true whore, there are ten damaged, devastated whores. Sad but true.

  26. The Colonel says:

    Al, you starving monkey, you can’t even feed yourself, let alone anybody else. Give me your address so I send you some porn DVDs and food stamps, you miserable poor fuck.

  27. The Colonel says:

    Al, you clown, you don’t have an acid flashback. You’re hallucinating because you haven’t eaten any food since Obama’s inauguration day. You couldn’t afford to, ass hat.

  28. Al, what the fuck, you cannot handle the truth?

  29. The Colonel says:

    No Rics, Alfonso is too pussy to handle the truth, or even a joke for that matter. It ruins his fanboy fantasy and the pleasure he achieves from the palm of his hand.

  30. please kernel, im livin better than you… lol where did alfonso come from? the truth is there are a lot worse things to lament than some chicks bad decision to enter porn, and her depression over still doing it

  31. rics, it has nothing to do with it being true… i believe it is true, i just don’t care

  32. So much for a Obamafan concen for the poor, the weak and the dissavantaged. I’m the bleeding heart Capt Save a Hoe here?

  33. colonel you almost sound like p.r. damage control for wayward hos. is it sentiment or are there
    dollars n cent in it?

    bill “mouth” margold authoritatively says (of course) that the only reason performers should get in the biz is for the fame, not for the money or the sex. however, fame in and of itself does nothing to address or solve basic self esteem issues. when sex is the the main or one of the main motivations it shows, and the fans most love those who are really into it, right?

  34. lol about the capt save a ho… Obama doesn’t give a shit about this ho either rics… there’s compassion and then there’s stupidity

  35. The Colonel says:

    Jeremy, you surprise me. As a guy who’s been dealing with porn whores for more than a decade of his adult life, you should know better than that.

    Look man, I’m not defending or justifying porn whore behaviour, I’m just calling it what it is. There are a few overhyped, overrated contract whores who are selfish and insane, have an inflated sense of self worth, think their shit don’t stink and look down at everybody from fans to even male performers and directors and producers. But the majority of them, the ordinary porn whores who work 3 to 4 times per week and have a career span of 2 to 3 years, come to hate themselves, their profession and their fans after a relatively short period of being in the business and being constantly exploited and objectified, probably because they didn’t know and couldn’t imagine the consequences and depth of what they were getting themselves into. They feel extremely vulnerable and have low self esteem issues, while many of these problems can be traced back to their childhood experiences and family background, but working in the adult industry certainly increases and developes those problems. Some of them even get paranoid and constantly change their residence and phone numbers to avoid stalkers. It is what it is, fanboys can believe whatever the fuck they want to get the best value for their investment in their favorite porn whores, but you and I should know better than that.

  36. The Colonel says:

    There’s stupidity and there’s Al Blanco.

    You idiot fucking fuck.

  37. I could not say it better:

    But the majority of them,(..)come to hate themselves, their profession and their fans after a relatively short period of being in the business and being constantly exploited and objectified, probably because they didn’t know and couldn’t imagine the consequences and depth of what they were getting themselves into. They feel extremely vulnerable and have low self esteem issues, while many of these problems can be traced back to their childhood experiences and family background, but working in the adult industry certainly increases and developes those problems.”

    I add that many contract girls not named Jenna, Tera, Kayden or Stormy also feel the same. It just takes a little more time for them to wake up.

    I wonder what is the suicide rate of former Porn Whores 5 or 6 years after they left the industry.

    It seems that Stormy is starting to wake up. Her surprising inclusion of the “I do not what to know you jerk off to me” among the “Im a contract girl and my shit does not stinks” is telling.

  38. The Colonel says:

    On another note, contract whores eventually fuck up, too. Jenna Jameson today looks like a zombie with implants and last year on the stage of AVN awards said: I’ll never spread my legs for this industry again. A statement which speaks in volumes for whoever that listens. Janine is going to prison after burning all the bridges in her personal and professional life behind her. Chaisy Lain is a homeless drug junkie who ends up fucking up a shoot in Donny Long’s crumbling studio. AVN hall of fame performer Missy commited suicide last year; and the list goes on and on. The adult industry is just a fucked up place to be. Period.

    Khan Tusion once said: I feel sorry for whoever that gets into porn, any pretty, ugly, young, old, human or animal.

    I couldn’t agree more.

  39. there are Colonels and then there’s kernel

  40. “Khan Tusion once said: I feel sorry for whoever that gets into porn, any pretty, ugly, young, old, human or animal.”

    M.H is a evil genius. I think he should write a book.

  41. jeremiahsteele says:

    i don’t feel sorry…. lot’s of GOOD TIMES… it’s like life, what you make it

  42. She really is a vacuous cunt, guys. Wicked could have done so much better.

  43. any contract girl who only bitches and complains should be called ‘contract bitch’ or ‘contract cunt’, this way consumers will know what they’re stroking off to, fans may also be inclined to ask them certain kinds of questions just to set c.c.s off and see what kind of reaction they give

  44. i just checked this chick out, looks mid 30’s, terrible boob job. she should be grateful the degenerate lot want to spank one out to her.

  45. Fanboi: “Are those yours?”

    Whore: Well, I paid for them.

    Have she asked to get her money back?

  46. Rics- You talking to me? Stormy has very nice boobs of the fake variety, although I prefer real.

  47. Unless you are a generic fanboi I was not taking to you. In my whoremongering years I learn to hate fake breast. Nothing better that the real thing. Even if is a A cup.

  48. na an A cup is wack… natural B’s and up are straight

  49. I vote for a natural, bounce all over when I fuck her, set of c’s-perfection

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