"I’m a bad Jew." soon to appear at Xbix.com
I’m walking with my friend, an ex-porno journalist who has finally shunned my sordid world so as to devote himself fully to Orthodox Judaism. He’s lamenting at the fact that though he dedicates himself fully to his religion, that he cannot seem to rise above his carnal desires, which is namely, masturbating to porn. And it’s not just your vanilla couple-type porn. It’s some pretty dirty stuff, and I know this because it’s the same kind of porn that I’m into.
I would like to tell him that the only reason he is into hardcore pornography is because he was raised in an ultra-religious, sexually repressive home. But then what is my excuse? My parents are atheists and agnostics respectively, and as hippie-type pornographers they provided me with a very liberal environment to grow up in. Contrary to my Jewish friend, I found porn a little too early (through no fault of their own, I was a sneaky kid) so perhaps it’s that Freudian theory about childhood development: potty-train a child to early or too late, and either way they can become anally-retentive. In our case, I was potty-trained too early, while my friend seems to have been potty-trained far too late.
But I don’t tell him this as we’re walking to shul, because I’m getting a little nervous. I’ve never been to a religious service in my life, much less a conservative Jewish one. But on my quest for spirituality I’m open to almost anything, and I need material for my column. But let’s pretend I’m more inclined to the former reason, and that I’m not here for base journalistic purposes.
When we arrive, the religious service is already over but there are lectures that run all night. It is the Jewish holiday Shavuot so the tradition is to stay up all night, keeping busy with the readings of the Torah. We arrived in time for a lecture on gossip, and how the Jewish religion weighs in on the subject of a loose tongue. Of course this is ironic, as my friend was the undisputed king of porn gossip, and has given it up for the purity of his soul. A soul which still struggles against it’s desire to watch porn.
I looked around the room, and said to him: "Look at all of these people here—it is mostly men, yes? I can guarantee you that there is at least one—if not many—individuals here who also watch porn. Even as a religious man I do not think it is wrong for you to masturbate. God doesn’t care that you spew forth a few knuckle-babies then and again. To be honest, I think it’s perfectly natural and healthy. What He cares about, if you really believe in Him, is that you are a good to others and try to be the best man you can be. That’s all any of us can really ever do."
I think perhaps he was momentarily reassured by what I said, but I can imagine that when he is alone with his congregation, or his Rabbi, the shame will seep back in and he will feel guilty again. I went home, enlightened somewhat with knowing a bit more about an unfamiliar religion, but happy that I did not feel the pressure to be so pure and chaste. I was glad that the spiritual path I have chosen does not dictate that I adhere to a strict sexual code.
When I arrived home that night, I checked my email before going to bed. Much to my surprise (and delight), I received this email: "Holly, this may seem strange, but did I see you at temple tonight? I am a member of your website and a big fan of your work. I would have come over to introduce myself but I was much too embarrassed to admit how I knew you. Anyhow, keep up the good work, I love your stuff."
Who knew I could have been so right on? Triumphantly I forwarded the email to my friend. I hoped that if not providing at least some amusement, it would relieve his remorse a little. We are all sexual beings, and it should comfort him to know that even a good Jew masturbates.
Luke isnt a true jew anyway, he was raised Adventist as we all know, of course now he is a self hating jew. Strange man, maybe he should turn to Catholicism, they dont like masterbating either, pedophilia sure, jerking it, no.
Luke is a name from the New Testament. He’s about as Jewish as I am black. And being a nutzo porno journalist it’s no wonder he’s on the fringe.
Does the man have to draw blood and scream Judaism till his lungs explode?? What does he have to do to finally be accepted in people’s eyes as Jewish? He’s been living as a Jew for so many fucking years. He gave up his lucrative porn blogging for his faith. But Luke would be happier I believe if he just gave it all up. Screw all religion! It just makes people more miserable.
Luke loves to be miserable. Is his calling in life.
The real Luke Ford will never be accepted by blood Jews because he’s a convert. And blood Jews hate converts. Just ask someone like Scott Fayner. Well, he dislikes him because of his Rightist political beliefs too. Am I the only one whom finds it funny when I hear a Jew is conservative? Hello, Hitler (The evilest person ever)!
Stalin and Mao were far more evil and killed far more people that Hitler,, the problem is that since they were communists the liberal media has found them harder to demonize.
Hitler was a neopagan nationalist/socialist.
True conservatives loathed him, and he loathed them back.
Just ask Sir Winston Churchill, the conservatives political rolemodel of the XX century.
Luke conservative values are in line with the Torah. Is not Luke fault that most American Jews are secular and have turned their backs on the Torah.
Hitler was not a conservative. In economics he was closer to FDR and the Lindon Johnson Great Society that to de Republicans.
He was a neopagan nationalist SOCIALIST.
He was loathed by true conservatives like St. Winston Churchill, the conservative role model of the XX century. And Hitler loathed conservatives back.
Also Stalin and Mao killed far more people that Hitler but since they were comunists and not singled out Jews for murder (but Stalin was very close to do so) the liberal media has found then easier to forgive.
I think the Adventists were happy Luke changed religions. Now Jews have to be polite about their desire not to mingle with the imitiation jew/ real nut.
The people more evil than Hitler were the banker$$$$$ who funded him. Do the research.
oh geez here we go
Stalin and Mao killed far more people than Hitler but since they were comunists and not single out Jews as Hitler did (but Stalin was very close to do so in the 1950s) the liberal media cannot demonize them.
Hitler killed a lot more people than just Jews!
True. But my point if that if you look at the numbers and choose to made Hitler responsible for every death Allied, Axis or civilian in the European Theatre of Operations (ETO) he is till tied with Mao or even behind him in the number of people killed.
Sn for sheer numbers I nominate Mao as the greatest murderer in history.
And do not forget Stalin. He killed about 20 million people. And many of the additional 20 million of Soviet war death can be blamed of course on Hitler for attaching the URSS but also on Staling gross irresposablility and callouness in the managenent of the war.
But since Stalin killed exotic Russians and Ukranians and Mao killed even more exotic yellow skinned, slant eyed Chinese in the name of progress and equality. That can be forgiven.
Hitler killed white western Europeans and jews (none seems to remember the gypsies) in the name of German nationalism. That is easier to demonize.
And BTW I love how the left has withewashed Hitler and Mussolini socialist roots.
Mussolini was a member of the Italian Socialist party, Hitler well, was National Socialist Workers Party leader.
True conservatives loathed them. And they loathed them back.
Just ask the conservative role model of the XX century Sir Winston Churchill.
Mousolini killed a lot more than hitler but he didn’t care to keep track of numbers, plus there are some books out which dispute the number of jews killed that it wasn’t 6 million but a lot, lot less, however whenever someone brings this up the old ‘anti-semite’ words come screaming out (even though most jews aren’t semitic, which is another story and) even though we’re talking simple math and not denying that jews and others were killed
I do not know how efficient was Mussolini as a killer, judging by his war machine not much.
But going back to the OP conservatives in the Angloamerican sense loathed Hitler and Mussolini.
The conservatives political hero of the XX century, the one Reagan and Bush are trying to copy, was Sr Winston Churchill and he loathed Hitler from the beginning.
Luke and “Rabbi” Prager see themselves as conservatives in the Churchill mode.
Luke wants to be in misery, end of story.
Mussolini, not much of a killer, except Ethiopia and Libya, he wasnt even an anti-semite until Hitler forced his hand.
Hitler, numbers put him third, but madness of the Holocaust makes him number one.
Stalin, we’ll never know how many, he twisted and fucked up so many lives, froze them to death in Siberia, starved them in the Ukraine, deported them from the Baltics, Poland, Ukraine, Georgia and so on.
Mao, look at Tibet, enough said.
Dont forget the Japanese, Africa and of course Cambodia.
Churchill, a drunkard and a war criminal, his germanophobia led Britain into two wars.
Roosevelt, Israel wouldnt exist had he lived, scumbag.
And Henry Kissinger, more people probably died cause of him than any other political figure of last 50 years.
it’s funny how this conversation has meandered from jews masturbating to hitler, stalin and henry kissinger
Thanks for all the reply guys! I’m glad I brought it up. (LOL) Am I the only one whom knows what a rhetorical question is? (LOL)
I’m a miserable wretch. But I keep it to myself unlike Luke. I wondered what it would be like if Luke and I were together. Either we would kill each other; or be as happy as clams wallowing in our own self misery. lol
RLF, it was worth it just to see Steele misspell Mussolini. Steele, what an ironic statement, in the past most conversations meandered back to you…these days it goes to the trannyfucker, Donkey Bong and so on, by the way, the trannyfucker said he made 13K in August, not sure if that includes hustling. Iron, you could buy a lot of Valtrex with that.
whoups
“I’m a miserable wretch. But I keep it to myself unlike Luke.”
Are you sure Sexy P?
What do you mean? Being a miserable wretch or keeping it to myself?
I think you’re missing the obvious, Ms. Babylon. rics is pointing out the irony of you announcing to everyone that you’re a ‘miserable wretch’ but keeping it yourself. If you were keeping it to yourself you wouldn’t have said it. I’m sure your point though was that you won’t go on and on and on and on about it like Luke.
The media is anything but liberal, rics. Corporate media is controlled by self-professed “radical conservatives” like Ruppert Murdoch.