Aiden and I started shooting for our movies a couple of weeks ago. As I was shooting, I couldn’t get away from this feeling of sadness. Watching two people together and not seeing myself as one of them was going to be so hard for me. I didn’t honestly think it would be. I always thought it would be the easiest thing to just say, "I’m done", and walk away. I was wrong once again. Then came the feeling of disappointment in myself. I had made such a huge deal out of all this. A part of me was saying, "You can’t go back on your word, that’s not stable." Then, Aiden sat me down and said, "Michelle, this is no one’s life but yours and if this is something that you want to do then you know what to do about it." And he’s completely right. This is my life and no matter what you all might think of my decisions or the way I choose to go about things, I am the one who I should think about first and foremost just like each and every other person in this world! I know a lot of people read my blogs and some of you are even in the same industry. I’m positive that you’ll all have your opinions on what kind of person I am, but I know who I am and I know that I’m a good person. I wear my heart on my sleeve like so many of you say and I’m okay with that! I realize that I’m an open book and I like to be like that because I have nothing to hide from anyone. So judge me how you will, it’s only human of you.
For those of you who’d joined me on the 20th for my Live show, I would like to give you all a very sincere thank you! I had a lot of fun showing off how to make a belladonna fist from scratch. Amazingly enough, Aiden has already archived the live show for anyone who missed it! I have to say that my Belladonna fist by Doc Johnson is a wonderful toy to own and I highly recommend it to those of you that would like to use a fist for whatever it is you choose, but don’t want the huge man fist that they currently sell. My line of toys will be available in 2008, but that’s all I know right now. I’ll post more on the releases as I get them from my contact at Doc Johnson.
First off, I have received the itinerary for Sexpo in Melbourne, Australia. You can view my signing days and times on my appearances page! The convention will take place in Melbourne Australia, November 15th – 18th at the Melbourne Exhibition centre, 2 Clarendon St, South Melbourne. I’ll also be signing in New Zealand, November 9-11, 2007! And if that isn’t enough, I have some VERY exciting news! I will be signing at the FICEB show this year in Barcelona, Spain! So, for all of you Spaniards out there who love me, come and get a picture with me at the Milkyway booth, October 3-7, 2007! For more information, check out the my website!
BlackSix writes on ADT: "She has been saying she was leaving the business since she was 19. Sheesh."
Kinkaid writes on ADT: "She must be one hell of a performer to have so much support. I’ve only seen pictures of her and her looks aren’t that great as far as porn stars go."
Alfan writes:
Bella should just let her work stand and that we have a lot to enjoy and remember her by. But, it is confusing and "drama queenlike" to pull all these stunts.
I wonder if she has it all together. She has herpes and could spread it to others and almost did! It just does not make my viewing of her product….all that much of a fantasty to me. I like to just view and enjoy the product and not all the drama of thinking……porn is my escape.