Joseph Elkind Update

8:27 p.m.

A man calls. "Are you wearing your yarmulke?"

Luke: "Of course."

Man: "And tefillin?"

Luke: "Of course not."

Man: "Are you allowed to jerk off while wearing a yarmulke?"

Luke: "Who’s this?"

Man: "JoeE. Who else would ask you if you’re wearing a yarmulke?"

"The convention. I had a party on my boat. I had Ahmad Rashad [born Bobby Moore, converted to Islam in 1972 and took on that new name]. Kid Rock. I told Kid Rock, ‘You’ve got to sit down because if people see you stumbling anymore… Make them believe you’re not all f—ed up.’ It was hysterical. Ahmad Rashad didn’t want to be sitting next to him.

"I know these guys. They said, ‘JoeE, we really appreciate you taking care of us. Please don’t let anyone see us in this condition.’

"I had [Playmate] Nicole Jackson and her friends on the boat. All the models, you should’ve heard them complaining to me. They said the convention sucked. They said none of the big players were there.

"The girls I sent there cried on my shoulder Sunday. ‘JoeE, we wish you were still in the business. My God. At least you didn’t grope us. You gave us literature. These guys don’t even know what they’re selling. They’re just trying to get laid by the models.’

"I want to get laid by the models too but the models I use are to attract attention and to sell a product.

"I’d like you to interview the models. Taren Cassidy. Jessica Gonzales.

"The Rock was there. I went to a party for five minutes and left everybody there and was home by midnight. I’m having some beers today. I’ll smile, but I’ve never heard guys say to girls what I heard yesterday. It’s like Lensman running around saying, ‘Hey, you want to be in Playboy. I’m the man.’ I never said s— like that."

"I had some yesterday. I hung out with some athletes. But they were pounding down Absolut [vodka]. I sucked on two Coors lites. I can’t drink anymore."

"I’m baby-sitting the guys who work for me. They’re going, ‘Did you see her? Did you see that chick?’ I say, ‘Guys, you’re 40-year old guys. I’ve got a ten-year-old daughter. Be nice to the girls. Don’t stare at them.

"That’s why I did well. Ask Peaches. Ask the other models. The girls who worked for me know I never hit on them. And everybody else did.

"Leslie. The hottest chick down there. Chris Mallick bribed her to go to work for him.

"For the average webmaster and model who had to work [at Internext], it was miserable for them."

Luke: "Are you still in the Adult industry?"

JoeE: "Chris Jarvin (sp?) took over Ice Cold Cash and made it into another company. I want nothing to do with that side of the business."

"None of the big players were there. Paul Fishbein wasn’t there. Ron Levi. Rod Cadwell (CCBill)."

Fishbein and Darren Roberts were there.

We talk about JoeE’s lawsuits.

JoeE: "I had all this s—. I want to spend time with my daughter."

"I used to take care of the little webmaster but there’s nobody who does that anymore. They don’t give a f—. These big ugly f—- just want to be me. I’m a small, short Jewish f—. I have a good personality. I have respect. I have a good mom and good daughter.

"I tell the girls, ‘You’re dealing with a guy in his forties. I’m not going to lie to you about my age. Say I love you. Sure, if something about me turns you on, which I couldn’t understand anyway…but I don’t buy the pussy."

"I grew up in a kosher home. My mom’s kosher. The whole family’s teachers."