Why has Kevin Blatt gotten laid 100 times as much as me?
This tawdry fact makes me question the existence of an all powerful and all beneficent deity.
When I go to a party, such as tonight, few people think I’m important.
I have little pull (certainly not as much as I had in 1998).
What’s pathetic is that a part of the reason I’ve hung out so long in porn is for those moments when I feel like a whale at Sea World.
The only reason to be here is sex, money or attention.
You’d think that if a girl wanted to move ahead in the industry, it would be a top priority for her to make a columnist happy (not that I would indulge, such behavior violates my personal and professional ethics, but I think it’s an interesting question why us columnists lack sex appeal). But few if any porn girls do this.
Why?
According to John T. Bone (who hates my guts), it’s because “the whores are stupid.”
Because of my economics background, I don’t like “irrationality” as an explanation for human behavior. I believe people act in their self-interest.
Why don’t porn columnists have more pull? Because we don’t matter much. There are many of us and we’re easily replaceable. We have no more pull than any of the dozen photographers who show up regularly to parties and sets.
Back in the day when only AVN mattered, then it’d make sense to offer bribes to persons in power. But what porn girl wants to blow me, Mark Kernes, Gene Ross, Mike South, Gram Ponante, Dan Miller, Tod Hunter, etc? She’d have one tired jaw and for what? She can get good coverage simply by treating people good and doing good scenes. Who needs bribery?
How much do girls lay out a month for a publicist such as Monstar or Jason Sechrest? $500? What would help a girl’s career more? Blowing a columnist or paying Monstar $500?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
In his memoir, Allan MacDonnell listed a foolsafe way for a porn writer to get laid (he learned it, I believe, from Greg Dark who had hundreds of porn girls). When you’re interviewing the girl, say you’re doing a feature about the wildest girls in porn and encourage her to start touching herself. When she starts going at it with enthusiasm, all you have to do is touch her and most of the time you’re in like Flynn.
I’ve never done this but I’ve thought about it way too often.
I’m not sure it is wild sex I crave as much as feeling wildly sexy.
It’s all such foolishness. I should be beyond such things. If I’ve learned nothing from years in this wilderness it is that sex with porn stars is not the path to earthly happiness let alone a heavenly reward.
What importance does my ejaculation have when seen in the light of eternity?
Put your C-light on that and smoke it.
Gina Cochina emails:
I can tell you why porn columnists don’t get laid more often.
It’s not just porn columnists. It’s porn writers, period. People are afraid you’ll write about them. They’re afraid of being critiqued in written form in the public eye. When I was still single, half the guys would be dying to screw me, hoping it would end up on some website, and the other half would be paranoid and would want to screw me anyway, but would go on and on endlessly about the fact that it had better not end up on some website.
Regardless of what they said, either way, it usually ended up on some website.
But I’m a girl. Men, even if they’re paranoid, will throw themselves at you no matter what when you’re a girl. Even if you’re an ugly girl. It’s easy for us that way. I’d imagine it’s more difficult for male writers.
Put it this way: would you have sex with you if there was a chance you might end up being ridiculed, exposed, or critiqued in a public forum?
Of course this only goes for civilians. As far as “talent” not wanting to have sex with you, you’re probably right: it’s because you don’t have enough pull in the industry.
Kevin Blatt (kb@kevinblatt.com)  emails:
God damn you are funny Luke.First off, I am not a porn journalist, I am a Movie Star and the best Public Relations guy in all of adult.
Brian Gross is the only other guy I will call a PR person in adult and I recommend him highly since he does it full time, and I am the VP of a public company as you know.
To answer your question truthfully, the reason I get laid so much isn’t the BS I spew about getting these girls exposure or press, it’s not that I tell them I love them or want to have children with them, and it’s not because I ply them with alcohol or drugs….the reason I get laid so much in this business, is simple.
I never put the “pussy up on the pedestal”.
Yes I treat these girls fantastic when I am with them, and treat them like human beings.
That has been a blessing and a curse at the same time, believe me Luke.
Nowadays I know that porn stars are expendable- I don’t chase them, I replace them.
I treat non porn women like platinum, and treat porn stars like gold.
Gold is the most malleable of the precious metals you know…
Just remember, “You cannot turn a Ho into a housewife” Luke I have tried, it doesn’t work.
Just for the record, any good porn publicist charges anywhere between $2,000 to $5000 a month and they are only expensive if it doesn’t work. Publicity takes time and women should keep in mind when they hire a publicist that most magazines print three months in advance, and radio shows only do so much for you.
If any other girls have any questions in regards to how to hire a good publicist- they can come over and blow me, and I’ll be happy to help.
Uhh, Kevin, incoming news flash, you’re not a movie star. And while I doubt you are the “best PR person” in porn, why would you even want to lay calim to that title. Call me when you’re done with your silly metallurgy simile.
Ok WIllie D- I guess I am not the star of the film American Cannibal in theaters now- I guess that all the hype you have read about the movie in the NY Times, MTV, The Post, TMZ.com, Myspace.com and everywhere else you google mine name is BS-
I guess you know many more people who have crossed over into the mainstream as I have-
Did Ron Jeremy’s movie get this kind of press?
How about Stacy Valentine in her “Girl Next Door” movie?
NO.
U know what Willie D, the people who know what I do and how I do it know how to contact me, and know what I can do for them.
I guess you aren’t in need of my services, or simply cannot afford me.
Which is it?
Metallurgy smile?
That’s funny.
Get a life, better yet, go buy a movie ticket for American Cannibal-
It’ll do your mind some good, and keep you away from Player Hating.
-KB
american cannibal was released in one theater in march and so far has taken in a whopping $16,000.
http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/2007/0AMCA.php
Uh, dude, you’re not a movie star, you were the subject of a documentary film – that’s it. Get over yourself. And if I recall, you filed a lawsuit or threatening to sue the filmmakers because YOU felt that they presented you in a bad light. Of course do you remember the Tribeca mes you tried to stop? I do.
See, I love it when porn people like KB think they are more than what they are – porn actors!
Let me ask you something KB, why don’t you prove you are a movie star and actually try and make a real film?? You can’t. It takes real talent to make a movie, it takes some cash to make a porn film, no real talent needed there. So, you were the rage of a docu-film, so what? All that means is you have a shot at being the nxt celebrity on the Serial Life on VH1, dude, that’s not something to brag about.
Casper so glad you made that point-
I am posting from the set of a mainstream TV show I got casted for -maybe when you see me in more stuff you’ll get it.
As far as the press and me suing the Doc- U are a sheep like the rest of the journalists and press!
See the movie then tell me if I am playing myself or just acting in it-
I am NOT a porn actor either- so get your facts straight homie.
Or better yet, go outside and play it’s nice outside…don’t sit on your computer all day- or can’t your wheelchair be moved outside?
Do you have one of those tubes you blow in to propel you?
lol
Well good for you, you got a bit part on a “tv” show. What is this “tv” show that we should all look for you at? If you were very serious you’d tell us. And by the way, I write for a Studio, I do re-writes and I see porn people all of the time coming into the offices thinking that simply because they can fuck onscreen and won some award at an AVN show they think somehow mainstream is calling them, what the fuck over. There has never been ANY successful crossover talent to make it in Hollywood today – ever. Sure, you can mention Tracy, but look at her career right now, it’s not the greatest. The fact is that I know the filmmakers for that film as I attend the film festival circut and I know for FACT that you acted in a very underhanded and unprofessional manner to the crew because you felt that you were being singled out as a dirt bag. Look, I wish you all the best I really do, but you pretty much showed your true colors when they tried to show the movie and you flipped out about it.
By the way, had to make this note, I think this project sank because people simply didn’t feel that a themed survivor series introducing cannabilistic situations was worth watching. There was a reason why no one would pick this crap up , hell didn’t you guys get bitch slapped by Dr. Phil no too long ago?
Casper- there is so much to the story that has yet to be seen or heard about.
Do a search on youtube.com for reality show accident- and you’ll peel back even more layers to the onion.
There is a line between fact and fiction with the documentary that even crosses over into the media’s coverage.
The media cannot even make the distinction which is what is the most fascinating part of the story.
Let’s look at the transparencey of Hollywood for a minute shall we?
Where else in the world can you call yourself a TV show producer and bingo- you are a tv show producer?
How many actors have you met in this town?
Everyone is an actor on a huge stage here in LA and the sexiest stories with the most “sizzle” are what get the people talking at the watercooler the next day.
I for one have never said I was the producer of the Paris Hilton Sex Tape- I was simply a promoter/ the PR arm a man who was hired to spread the word about a tape that needed very little introduction once it made it’s way into the stratosphere. The media has called me everything from the producer to the originator ( that’s themost ambiguous) to porn czar, smut peddler and the list goes on…anyone who knows me knows that I still work a day job and don’t profess to being rich by any means- I am comfortable, but not filthy rich. Paris, Rick and Red Light made out on that one along with Hotelheiress.net.
Look, at the end of the day,Perry and Michael are my partners in this film- and we I have agreed to help promote the film, it’s in my best interest.
To be quite honest with you, the lawsuit was staged…
Perry and Michael even revealed that in a paper in the NY Press last week in their feature story on American Cannibal.
Don’t believe everything you read or hear Casper- that pretty much sums up my movie- if you buy into everything the media and these reality tv schlock producers sling at you …then you are like the rest of the sheep waiting to be herded.
-KB
That’s reasonable. I do understand the process though and I understand that publicity is a double edged sword. LA is a town like you have said where anybody can call themselves anything and no one will think twice about it, but then again this town is all about smoke and mirrors. I will admit, I did not know that the lawsuit was staged though, makes sense actually, but let me ask you, why then would you guys go on Dr. Phil? I don’t see how that benefited anybody or even the movie as Phil is mainly a right wing guy and everybody in town knows it. He’s also full of shit and everybody knows that as well. Just curious.