For an honest depiction of a pornographer like Larry Flynt, see Screwed - a documentary about Al Goldstein - the publisher of Screw. Al and Larry have much in common - both are obese, crass, vicious men who've divorced many times. Flynt copied much of Hustler's approach from Screw but Larry's publication became a national magazine while Screw remains a New York sex tabloid.
Alexander Crawford's documentary Screwed captures the flavor of the sex industry. "Do you have any women here waiting to be penetrated by my manly dick?" are the opening words of the film spoken by Al Goldstein. "What a fantasy life I lead," says Al as he cruises to the New York offices of his 29-year old tabloid where nude female porn stars and a midget wearing Uncle Sam garb wait for him.
"Goldstein's no Bob Guccione or Hugh Hefner or even Flynt; he doesn't get on Entertainment Tonight or own gaudy Beverly Hills homes and offices or have Oliver Stone produce star-choked films about his life. Goldstein knows he's at the bottom of the porn food chain...wallowing in the muck and discarded Kleenex. Goldstein makes porn films with titles like Tales from the Clit, and sometimes he appears...licking whipped cream off naked women; he stars in his own cable-access show Midnight Blue, in which he'll break the ice with an interviewee by giving her head..." (Robert Wilonsky, New Times, 1/9/97, p.32)
"Inside the pages of Screw," Al tells the camera as images of his mag pass by, "are pictures of people f---ing, total nudity, erections, cocks, cunts... but it also has articles about porn actors and actresses..dwarfs with big cocks, dwarfs with little cocks.....It's out of Dante's Inferno."
Film critic Robert Wilonsky: "Screwed succeeds where The People vs Larry Flynt too often failed because Crawford doesn't need to make you like Al Goldstein to tell you his story; it doesn't fake the porn and trivialize his antics as the product of "bad taste" nor does it make Screw some standard bearer for the First Amendment." (New Times 1/9/96)
Screwed describes the culture of Screw - the community of porn collectors, S-M fetishists and whoregoers. One guy who loves to be tied up and tortured is premier porn writer David Aaron Clarke who appears along with his teenage dominatrix ex-girlfriend.
Screw magazine uses an erect penis rating system for pornos, and aside from Clark, its reviews are graphic and mechanical. Here's an excerpt from Screw's review of Summer School.
Sandy tells about her cunty sorority...and one member, Mary, a cute little pussy whose chore is to service the school's gardeners....Having f---ed and sucked both men dry, her initiation is secure....Jack (another character) must sample the sweet taste of Ms. Smith's cunt...but before he can ram his cock into her snatch, he must learn how to eat pussy properly. Jack however...acts like he's sucking on cock as the horny teacher fills her mouth full of her burning juices.....Jamie (another sorority sister) tells Jack, "This is fun, take it all please"....She straddles his waist, riding his cock like a bitch in heat....Another female tells Jack, "Suck my toes, you prick. Smell my cunt. Tell me how much you want to suck this juicy cunt. Lick it....That's a good little doggie."
Robert Rimmer reviews the same movie: "Queensbrook College Summer School is where everyone would like to further their education. Lauren Dominique is the coed every guy would like to take to bed. Most women will disapprove of her as she and her friend dominate the male professors and show them how to really make love to a woman." (Guide #1 p.139)
"I have a strange admiration, dislike and tolerance for Al Goldstein," says Bill Margold. Bill criticizes Al in identical language that many use on Bill.
"He's a man beyond his time in this business. He's been used up and thrown away by the industry he helped create. He's of no value to anyone except his flatulent self. He's another man I'd like to fall by the wayside. I reached out to him about someone dear to me and he said, "f--- her." And I said, "Good. I'll make you eat those words, you tub of s---." He and Screw are passe.
"Goldstein's mistake is that he lied about Viper [the love of Bill's life] in a Penthouse review. He referred to Viper as a tattoo victim who didn't belong in porn. I took that personally. Viper cried. Al said a couple of years later that was his retaliation for us not doing his show Midnight Blue. We couldn't get there in time from the airport.
"I thought enough of Al Goldstein to give him the first FOXE Freedom Isn't Free Award."
Adam Film World reviews 1994's Peepshow. "The layabouts of La-La Land invoke the smart-ass Manhattan bile of Screw magazine in the third of the new video series from Al Goldstein, the founder of the self-proclaimed World's Greatest Newspaper. The cigar-puffing pornographer appears at the beginning and end of the tape. Just as in the magazine, he berates the audience for not having a life and suggests they send him money. The mistitled film throws in all the latest in conventional porn technology - gooey facials, a Latin spitfire, a Debi Diamond gangbang - in between high schtick... Ron Jeremy turns into a rat after being bitten by one. The sex is great, including two awesome Marc Wallice performances, as he sweats and strains over Tina Tyler and Melissa Monet. Jeremy, subjected to having his body shaved, working with a live rat and denied the opportunity to plug any porn meat, is at his gross prime." (AFW 97 p.267)
Pat Riley reviews Goldstein's appearance in the 1993 flick Buzzzz!. "Al has gone PC....The wielder of the infamous Goldstein Curse, the man we looked up to puncture the pomposity of the touchie-feelies and to reduce feminazis such as Andrew Dworkin to seething masses of blubber, has sold out. Al introduces this "beat the males to a pulp" piece of garbage..." (X-Rated Videotape Guide #4, p.176)
8/7/98: I sit in the sun beside the pool with Matt Labash, Mark Cromer, the LA Weekly journalist working on their forthcoming porn-HIV cover story, Bruce David of Larry Flynt Publications and Al Goldstein. Matt wants me to explain my theory on the number of Jews in the industry by Al Goldstein who patiently listens for a minute as I mumble about "alienation."
Al: "Now where were you born, Luke? Australia? You don't know a flying f--- about anything. You're an ex-felon. If you weren't, your father was. You're a bunch of refugees from a penal colony. The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks. We don't believe in authoritianism. We know that the anti-porn stuff is a bunch of claptrap to make us feel guilty. We have a clean slate when we look at the world. We see opportunities…
"Here comes the wench. My property [girlfriend]. I piss her off when I tell her that I own her.
"Four marriages. I got my last divorce four years ago. Marriage is like John Bobbit saying, cut it off again."
Al's blonde girlfriend Rose H. Robbins joins us. A group plays South American music beside us. Rose is Screw's corporate counsel. http://www.rrobins.com
She and Goldstein appear in Sunday's Miami Herald magazine.
Luke: "Do you believe in God?"
Al: "I believe in me. I'm God. f--- God. God is your need to believe in some super being. I am the super being. I am your God, admit it. We're random. We're the flea on the ass of the dog."
Luke: "What does being Jewish mean to you?"
Al: "It doesn't mean s---. It means that I'm called a kike. Rose is more of a Jew than I am. She speaks Hebrew. "
Al was not raised in Judaism but Rose was.
Luke: "What did you think of Screwed, the movie?"
Al: "It was a piece of s---. The guys who made the movie were a bunch of retarded adolescent punks who did not know how to make a good movie. They had a great subject."
Bruce David, self described LFP's official gopher, says it was surface, shallow and a big disappointment. "I've known Al for 30 years. I know the depth and the issues and they just treated him like he was a pussy eater."
Luke to Rose: "What does being Jewish mean to you?"
Rose: "I feel like I am part of a worldwide spiritual community."
Al: "Jews and blacks are together. Us kikes and coons… Like a chocolate mouse."
Luke: "What attracts you to Al?"
Rose does not like to answer that question.
Al: "It's my big Jewish dick. My circumsicion."
Rose: "Who do you write for?"
Al: "Internet s---. Who cares what they say. You can't take them seriously.
"I spend no time on the internet. My son is in to that. I'm not.
"I only look at porn now to get me on target before we make love. It's flesh music. I like Ed Powers and Private."
Al invites me to his big Screw party in New York September 14.
"Don't write about Bill Margold. Write about Goldstein, Goldstein, Goldstein. Tomorrow when you wake up, your first thought should be what can I do to favor Goldstein. That's what Bruce did and now he blows Larry Flynt.
"Can I give Al my wife? Can she blow him? Can he eat my wife? These are the things you should think about."
9/10/98
"As Screw's 30th Anniversary Party draws nigh," writes an observer in New York, "Al Goldstein embarks upon a rampage not unlike Screw's 20th Anniversary debacle as described in SPY, Oct. 97." Manny Neuhaus was fired a few weeks ago. Eric Danville plans to leave 9/15. Ivan Lerner will take over.
"Yesterday’s penetrating portrait of the paunchy porn potentate in The New York Times failed to mention that Screw has taken ads in Manhattan’s weeklies that read: “...For $75, you can enter the party, eat, visit the vendor’s tables, watch the strippers, laugh at the comedians, take part in the Transvestite Beauty Contest, see hours of raunchy entertainment--and more.”
"And for those for whom "more" is not enough: “For $200, you and a guest can get a VIP pass to the notorious SCREW lounge, where you can party with Al Goldstein himself.” Ron Jeremy MCs; Al “Grampa Munster” Lewis will be Guest of Honor."
Mark Kramer wrote in the 9/97 edition of Spy magazine:
“....perhaps the most quintessentially Goldsteinian publicity debacle was that surrounding Screw’s 20th Anniversary party. Al’s idea had been to stage an anti-smut protest by phony feminists. Neuahus was instructed to leak this syntho-event to the gossip pages, and to send someone up to the offices of Women Against Pornography for a bundle of leaflets. Unfortunately, the staffer selected for the pick-up--not privy to the gag--was wearing an “Al Goldstein for President” T-shirt.
"The equally publicity-starved Women Against Pornograpy huckstreses retaliated with an item in a New York Post gossip page exposing Al’s ploy--printed just days before the anniversary party under the jeering headline “Nice Try”.
"Perpetuated in a schlockadelic nightclub known for catering to Bud-guzzling suburbanites in acid-wash denims, the fall, 1988 fete featured Al, clad in smartly tailored sweatpants and tented with a puffy chemise smothered in Disney cartoon characters, playing host to some of the world’s ugliest men...Robin Leach, Morton Downey Jr., Bob Guccione, the late Tiny Tim, Michael Musto, Robin Leach again, and Danny the Wonder Pony. Al’s gun-loving teenage spawn Jordan Ari Goldstein--clearly a chip off the old blob--made a rare Planet Goldstein appearance performing magic tricks amid a co-dependent cavalcade of Al’s ex-wives, elderly parents, and many others to whom Al has been joined at the heart, mind, groin, or pocketbook on his long descent to these heights. Screw subscribers and other gawking members of the general public were charged $150. admission to offset the cost of hiring fake feminists. Screw staffers, on the other hand, were each issued a chit good for a drink and a knish---an apt reminder of the priceless freedoms, mainly Al’s, which we had gathered to commemorate...”
The 9/98 New York Times on Al Goldstein:
In the course of an afternoon, Al Goldstein has his secretary book a prostitute as his dinner companion at Nobu, a chic downtown restaurant, and, for his cable television show, "Midnight Blue," he tapes a vicious attack on New York magazine for leaving him out of its 30th-anniversary issue.
But at the moment, as a father, Al has got to brag.
"My son, Jordan, I'm so proud, he starts Harvard Law School today," the publisher of Screw magazine is saying. "What's the Jewish word? I'm kvelling. He graduated No. 1 in his class in Georgetown out of 781 students. When I met the president of Georgetown he couldn't believe he was standing next to America's No. 1 pornographer, that I was the father. My son is embarrassed by me on occasion, but he loves me. He came to me a year ago and said, 'Dad, I can go to N.Y.U. free or I can go to Harvard.' I said, 'Jordan, I live for you to go to Harvard. The money isn't a problem.' But I was so moved he asked."
Screw celebrates its 30th year this fall. It may, as Al likes to point out, be fighting for freedom of the press for everyone, but they have not been pretty fights. When a Federal judge, Kimba M. Wood, ruled against Screw in a libel suit some years ago, Al ran composite photos purporting to depict the judge in sex acts.
The magazine, based in New York, is mostly escort service ads and pornography.
If you think you've seen the pictures before, you have.
"I paid $1 a picture back in the 60's," says Al, who has a $3 million home in Florida but loves a bargain. "They've been in the paper hundreds of times. Those women are so old they're in nursing homes."
8/1/06
I call him in New York Tuesday afternoon, August 1.
Al: "I'm an old Jew with bad hearing."
Luke: "When is your book coming out? The one you worked on with Josh Alan Friedman."
Al: "I got a call from Peter Bloch [Editor] at Penthouse.
"I called Josh yesterday. I said they [the publishers] are a bunch of scumbags. They haven't even sent me a copy of the book. It's coming out next month. Here I am the writer. Review copies have been sent out. And I haven't gotten a copy."
Luke: "How was working with Josh?"
Al: "I love Josh. He was my editor 25 years ago. He loved going to all the massage parlors. He's written six books. He holds me in high regard.
"Frankly, I've been depressed since Screw went bankrupt two years ago. I'm looking for a job. I've been turned down by Starbucks and Costco. I'm not the big mouth I used to be. That's why Josh went to the editorials from 1968 and older ones when I still had piss and vinegar.
"I hate the porno industry. I helped start Larry Flynt. I've had 21 arrests. No one in the porn business has offered me a job. If it wasn't for doing the blog, I'd be back in a homeless shelter. My rent in Howard Beach is paid by Penn Jilette.
"When I start doing publicity for my book, I'm going to abuse the s--- out of it. It's no different than religion. Religion sells a fantasy. Pornography sells a fantasy. The bulls--- that you are going to have those type of women in your life is pathetic. It's delusional."
Luke: "Have you changed your views on the porn industry?"
Al: "Not at all. You look at Screw. It as Mad comics. There's nothing wrong with masturbation. There's nothing wrong with fantasy. But let's call it what it is.
"Fishbein at AVN was telling me that the business is down 20%.
"What put Screw out of business was the websites.
"I'm guilty of the same thing. I ran jerk-off photos. But at least I made fun of the girls.
"Pornography has the same right to exist as religion and reality shows. But I know it's sleight of hand. That's what my book's about. All men are coagulated testosterone. Men are pathetic creatures. I'm guilty. I have five ex-wives. That's why I went bankrupt.
"Playboy I could never jerk off to but Hustler I could because the girls are sleazy."
Luke: "You have a wife?"
Al: "I have a fifth wife. She's 29. I'm 70. Together three years."
Luke: "What is her attraction to you?"
Al: "Nobody else will be with me. There's no reason to be with me. I have no money. Wives are prostitutes who won't work in a whorehouse. She likes that despite my 21 arrests and bankruptcy, I'm still in there trying.
"Everyone dumped me. Ron Jeremy was best man at the wedding. Two people have been loyal to me -- Ron Jeremy and Paul Fishbein. Nobody else in the industry has done s--- for me. I hope everyone gets busted. Everyone needs a five year jail sentence at Leavenworth."
Luke: "How did you maintain your friendship with Fishbein? You've been caustic about him and his magazine."
Al: "I love Paul because he's a good friend. I only speak the truth. I am an obnoxious assaultive uninhibited Jew boy from Brooklyn. Everyone I've slammed is having the last laugh -- ignoring me, gloating when I failed. My son, who's 30, who graduated Harvard Law School four years ago. I was boasting about him on the Howard Stern and Don Imus show. He got so offended he would not invite me to graduation."
Luke: "Is he gay?"
Al: "I think he is. I think he sucks a dick now and then. I've always argued it takes a real man to suck cock. After my fifth marriage ends, I'm going to become a fag."
Luke: "What did you think of Gil Reavill's book Smut?"
Al: "I don't read about porno. What do I care? I'm rereading Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis. Why do I want to read about pornographers? To be titillated? To learn about it? I don't care if it is pro or con. Gil's another mercenary. There's nothing wrong with him."
Luke: "What happened to your relationship with Larry Flynt?"
Al: "I wish he'd hire me. I went to him and begged him to at least give me a job as a manager. I don't want to be a dishwasher. He did give me an assignment and he loaned me $3,000 but I want a full-time job and Larry has not done it.
"I'll tell you who the biggest [jerk] of all is... I hope you're not going to censor this. Dennis Hof owns the Bunny Ranch. I was the first person to cover his bordello for Penthouse. I gave him publicity. Put him in my columns and on my TV show. He promised me there would always be a place for me. What a perfect job for me to be maitre de, to greet people at his whorehouse. He would not give me a job. He is the typical porno ingrate. I hope he dies of diabetes."
Luke: "What are the lessons to be learned from your rise and fall?"
Al: "Nothing. Nothing is real. Nothing is forever. Enjoy the moment. Mine is not the first story, be it Tyson or a rock 'n' roller. Don't believe the words of wives, 'I love you,' because as soon as you lose the money, they're gone.
"My ex-shrink, Ted Rubin, he wrote David and Lisa, said, 'Al, you have to learn the art of inhibition.' I repress nothing. I censor nothing. Like all honest people, I am hated and loathed."
Luke: "Where do you find happiness?"
Al: "I don't. A cup of coffee, when I ejaculate, and the taste of pussy. Right now I just want to survive. I go to the V.A., they give me lithium. I'm a zombie. I've thought of killing myself but I won't kill myself because I'd make too many people happy.
"Have you got enough?"
Luke: "Thank you."
Al: "As you've noticed, I still don't pull my punches."
9/20/06
This book, ghosted by Josh Alan Friedman, hits stores September 28.
In a pensive mood after the dissolution of his fifth marriage, Goldstein blogs Sept. 14:
My first wife Lonnie I married for spite because her family hated me since I was not rich. My favorite wife, Mary, I married in 1968 because she was a flight attendant and I could fly at a discount. My third wife Gena was a jew-ess and I wanted to experience castration. She also produced the spawn of the devil, my only ex-son. My fourth wife Patty, I married in 1989 the year my mother and father died and I didn’t want to be alone. She was like the flower girl in My Fair Lady and I wanted to mold her. She stalked me and after the marriage I found out she was a lesbian. My last wife was from India and 40 years younger than me but wasn’t attracted to me and after I lost my money we decided to call it quits.
Al Goldstein at his bar mitzvah.
Al Goldstein writes on page 41:
I found the Hassidim in Williamsburg far more alien than blacks... I tried to knock Hasids over in my car. I hated them. The Hasidim were a cult of repressive scumbags, whereas Negroes represented freedom and abandon.
Page 44:
Al tells Ron Jeremy: "You are incapable of intimacy... You say you want to be a father, and you say you want a relationship. You have a very stunted relationship with Devon Shire, who is also stunted, so you two have a great combination.
"Devon, do you ever think of this man as being married, with children, in an intimate relationship of caring and concern?"
Page 93:
Ernest van den Haag testified against me in my first trial, but then we became friends. He always asked me to get him hookers.
Desiree Cousteau Interview
From Screw magazine June 1980 as reprinted in I, Goldstein: My Screwed Life:
Al: What else won't you do in f--- films?
Desiree: I don't know if I should say this...
Al: Say it!
Desiree: I don't do blacks. ...I did it for Swedish Erotica. I worked
with Johnny Keyes. That kind of cured me of ever wanting to work with
blacks again. ...I don't know what it was. I just started crying.
Al: What do you think about when you come?
Desiree: God... Sometimes when I'm making love I fantasize that it's
an animal or a black guy -- something that I would not normally want
to do. I get very turned on when I am embarrassed. Normally, I think
of myself as a goddess on a pedastal, so I like to be brought down.
I quit for a year because I felt so guilty. I had a nervous breakdown.
From page 202:
Cowards like Carl Ruderman, shadow publisher of High Society, has a near monopoly on phone-sex numbers, probably outgrossing AT&T. Ruderman stirred up the ire of environmentalists by building a heliport on his pristine Connecticut property, scattering wildlife every time he 'coptered in from New York. Publishers ashamed of the sex business included the late Chip Goodman (Swank, Stag), Murray Traub (Oui), and partners Bentley Morriff and Ralph Weinstock, who kept their names off the Adam family of men's magazines (Adam Film World, etc.).
"I always considered my employees to be like Kleenex -- meant to be used and discarded." (Pg. 215)
"Adam Rifkin, a producer, put Hef and Ron Jeremy in some of his films. The deal wsa Ron Jeremy would get Adam laid, and Adam would put Ronnie in mainstream movies."
I just finished reading Goldstein's new book I, Goldstein: My Screwed Life.
Al seems bitter that Larry Flynt took many of his ideas, employees and lawyers such as Cambria.
I emailed Paul and received this reply:
He is very bitter about a lot of things but I do not know of any problems we have personally. I remember him as a great First Amendment fighter and a great client. When he had money he was generous to a fault. As the years went by, he failed to keep up with the times and that is probably why (along with divorce settlements) he lost it all. It is a shame because he was fighting the federal Government when it was nearly impossible and he always came out on top(must be his choice of lawyers). I wish him the best. Behind that nasty facade he really is a sweet guy.
Larry did hear about us from one of Al’s cases, but so did a lot of other companies and it helped that we won so many trials and appeals as we continue to do today. I do not think he expected us to just work for him, and we were always there when he needed us. We are a different kind of law firm. Everybody else in the adult field has a small shop and not as much heavy duty criminal experience as we have. The bulk of my practice is major criminal defense from tax to anti-trust to murder to the Supreme Court of the United States and we are over 60 attorneys who practice in every field of law except patents. We have depth that other firms who work with the adult industry do not have. That is why Al chose us in the first place. Nothing dumb about Larry Flynt he wanted the power our firm provides and that is probably why he fired Alan Isaacman and hired us to be his general counsel again, added to the fact that we tried everyone of his criminal cases in the past. And besides all of that, Larry and I have grown to be friends over the years. Remember we represented him when he was shot and they shot him and our local counsel right in front of me. Events like that develop strong bonds.