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July 15, 1999

I meet Robert Schaffner, owner of Mondo Video at 1718 N. Vermont Avenue in Hollywood, his wife, his business partner and a couple of employees. Robert shows me his first X-rated movie, The Brides of Countress Recula. He tried to shop it at the American Film Market in Santa Monica. "They called security and removed me with five escorts out of the building. I took fliers over there with titties, blood and gaping assholes all over it... Midgets..."

Luke: "Family values entertainment."

XXX: "Manson family... It has a midget pissing..."

Robert: "We're proud of being disgusting and sick. We have a band but they wouldn't let us play here... We always get into fist fights...

"Our lead singer Rocket Boy is retarded. He can't read or write. He hasn't had sex in 30 years. We want to get ten of the topnotch girls to f--- Rocket Boy. Just imagine the sounds and emotions.

"We play the most outrageous music and Rocket Boy sings songs about f---ing Pippi Longstockings and Nazi UFOs."

Feb. 20, 2005

The Colonel (Robert Schaffner) from Mondo Video says his business partner Terry knocked some broad up and they considered trying to induce her into labor by showing her their video Camp Erotica.

Camp Erotica, the actual place at Rainbow (in Temecula), is up for sale. A tornado struck it over the weekend.

Colonel: "I've been working with Kahn Tusion. We've been doing these things at the store, which we've moved to the low end of Melrose (4328 Melrose Ave). We've been doing Midnight Prowls there. It's a new series that JM is putting out. They bring the chick to the store, and we've been bringing in some big names like Riley Brooks, and they blow my customers."

Duke: "Is it safe sex?"

Colonel: "Yeah. Are you trying to insinuate that Mondo customers would have some kind of disease?"

Duke: "Do the customers get HIV-testing?"

Colonel: "No. The guys who come in my store are losers who haven't had sex in eight years. If they have any [non-oral] sex, it is with condoms."

Duke: "Is there an element of degradation to this?"

Colonel: "That's why we're inviting you to come see."

May 27, 2007

Click here for the photo gallery. Conky's Commentary

Video: Michelle Avanti Interview Kayla Quinn, Michelle Avanti, Scott Hancock Scott Hancock Interview Video Anita Cannibal and her legendary fan Howard Summer Storm Interview FOXE Beauties Bill Margold Interview Rayveness Interview Ron Hightower Interview JT was the videographer for What Women Want Star of Chinaman's Chance says her name is Snow White

Bill Margold Begins Show Sunny Lane Sunny Lane Talks To The Crowd Rayveness, Jen X Take The Stage Sasha Brabuster, Tony Sexton FOXE Awards Anita Cannibal Video Phyllisha Anne dances for Ron Sullivan Video Honoring Ron SullivanVideo

Whore writes on XPT: "Why is it always the ugliest of the ugly that always seek attention by showing their hideous face in public? No wonder the Feds want to prosecute porners for obscenities charges. It can't be more obscene then this."

When I walked in to the FOXE Awards Sunday at 6 p.m., Cannibal was topless and surrounded by photographers. She spotted me and put on her graduation cap, saying that she'd read the many negative remarks (I believe she used the four letter expletive starting with -s-) on my website about her chances for success as a lawyer (she plans to go to law school).

There were no awards presented. Organizer Bill Margold said the fans were too apathetic to vote for awards this year. "There will be bowling if this is a success. You like the bowling but you have to pay to play. You are the lifeblood that keeps these kids going."

"I love the silence. You can hear a pubic hair drop in this room."

"If you'd like to talk to the kids... Don't be afraid of them because without the fans there is no performer. You feed their ego. They need validation. They need credibility. They need to be told they are loved. The best thing to do with an adult performer is to hug them. They use sex to avoid a relationship."

Alicia Rio, who did her first scene in 1990, says she will be forming a talent agency (Real World Inc) and writing adult movie reviews for the Beverly Hills Outlook.

"It's a cultural publication. It has over two million readers."

"I recently got married to my girlfriend. We've been together six years."

Luke: "Where did you get married?"

Alicia: "At the courthouse. We're going to honeymoon in Hawaii."

"I've never been biased. I've worked with handicapped... I don't mind because I don't judge. I just love."

Rio did her last scene in 1998.

I chat with Summer Storm. "How do you feel about our last interview?"

Summer: "I think it was horrible and I wish you would take it off the internet."

"I looked like hell."

"Do you want to see my tits? You never want to see my tits. Why?"

"I woke up at that party, I was passed out, and I woke up and there was nobody there. It was 6 a.m."

"You put the worst stuff on me on the internet. You never used to do that."

"I've been reading, 'Learn to Earn.'"

Luke: "What are your life goals?"

Summer: "You ask me the same questions every time. Last time they were different than this time becaused I was f---ed up."

"My life goal is to be happy and to have lots of tigers and lions."

Luke: "What makes you sad?"

Summer: "When people are cruel to animals and old people."

Luke: "What about when people are cruel to porn stars?"

Summer: "People are never cruel to us."

Rayveness says she's never had any trouble with stalkers.

In porn since 1990, she has not done a scene for a year (because she had aher first baby).

Rayveness goes to church every week but she says there's nothing she hates about the industry. "I don't plan on retiring. As long as people keep buying my movies..."

Luke: "What's it like growing older in this industry?"

Rayveness's face tightens. "Age doesn't bother me, if that's what you mean. A lot of girls are funny about their age. Not me. I don't really care."

Luke: "What do you love and hate about growing older?"

Rayveness: "You say hate a lot... Where I come from [North Carolina], I don't hate things or hate people or hate ideas."

She says on stage: "I've always put my relationship before my career, which has hurt my career."

Now she's in a relationship where she has freedom to have sex with whomever on camera.

"The films of today are like how mean can I be to this girl? Can I slap her and spit on her? I don't think that's what sex is all about -- abusing somebody."

I chat with Ron and Shawn Hightower.

They've been together three years.

Shawn works with Ron behind the camera (never been in front of it).

Ron: "Without it [porn], I would never gotten to do anything else."

"Sometimes I hate that...people just know me for that."

"You don't forget where you come from. You just remember why you left... Everybody should be in a position to grow and do other things."

Ron's worked outside of porn for the past few years.

Sunny Lane says that her ABC Primetime appearance has "started a new revolution because people are really talking about parents, children, how much they're involved with them around the world and how much people care about what they do, be it being an adult star or from going to off to war and your parents don't agree... It's show many people from around the world how it can embrace them and change their lives. It's been intense. Everybody's been talking about it on the talkshows. I've been offered a lot of things. I'm not doing any tabloid TV because I didn't come from trash and I don't want to be made out that way."

"All right, anybody else? I like this."

Sunny says she wakes up masturbating.

An Hispanic gentleman with a Mexican accent yells: "Will you show your tits?"

Sunny: "Oh listen to you. Do you have a question for me?"

Man: "Yeah. Will you show your tits?"

Sunny: "Do you have a real question for me?"

Man: "Will you show your boobs?"

Another man yells: "Let's see them!"

She shows them. "Shirley Temple of X all the way," she says.

"Sexual wellbeing is the number one thing in life... To love themselves for who they are."

Sunny and other porn girls take the stage to talk about what freedom means to them.

I chat with JT, formerly of JT Video. He shot my first movie -- What Women Want in January 1996. It starred Kimberly Kummings.

JT started in Adult in 1988 after he got laid off from a TV station. He placed ads offering to videotape your sex life. He got a studio on Hollywood and Vine for about a decade, renting it out to people who wanted to make porn videos.

"It was always a sideline. I never supported myself fully with that."

Jen X (Angela Rodriguez) takes the stage. "I was the first sleeved girl to shoot in the industry. Then nobody would shoot me because I was sleeved. People would shut their doors on me because they said I had too many tattoos. I'd have to cover my tattoos with make-up or wear long-sleeved shirts for anybody to shoot me. I guess it's not like that any more."

Jen X has debuted this six-minute trailer for her series American Rebel on YouTubeZ.

Jen X did her first scene (with Candy Apples) for John T. Bone circa 1995.

Jen used to be roommates with Lois Ayres, who introduced her to porn.

"This [porn] was everything my grandparents told me was bad and awful and everything I thought was good and wonderful. I come from a strict Jewish wealthy family as you can see. Sex was bad. Tattoos were bad. Boys were bad. I was the naughty bad tattooed girl of my Hebrew school. It was everything I wanted to find out. I thought that sucking dick on film made me Barbara Streisand."

"My mom is really cool. She's collected every poster, every clippping of me. My grandparents knew..."

"I wish our Hollywood got the benefits the other Hollywood offers. Nobody gets residuals."

"I started out as a $200 a week wardrobe girl. Then I became a publicist. I don't if Jewish women are just good publicists... It's worked towards my benefit. I'm Jen X, crazy big-titted porn star."

"I had tons of pierces ages ago. Lois and I got pierced before everyone else. Then when everyone got pierced, I took out my piercings. I just got my belly button re-pierced. I'm afraid to get my clit pierced because just at that moment a 9.0 earthquake will hit Los Angeles..."

Jen says that 25 feet of beads is the maximum of what she can pull out of herself. "I can smoke cigarettes too. I can pinch your dick right off. It's called muscle control. These are my stupid pet tricks."

She takes off her top.

Bill: "Happy tits. These are what we fight wars for, kids. Freedom isn't free."

"A little noise would be nice."

Bill Amerson (John Holmes former manager and friend) shows up with his girlfriend. She was a stripper and he met her through his club (owned with Brick Majors and co).

Jane Waters and Van Damage came to honor Ron Sullivan.

Bill Margold says Anita Cannibal is his favorite performer of all time.

Bill wanted to honor her at the Legends of Erotica in January but she was working at the Chicken Ranch.

Margold presented her with the Carnal Medal of Honor. There's scattered applause.

"Thank you, Bill," she says. "I've never won anything before like this."

I talk to Colonel Rob and his trusty bald sidekick.

"There's only one reason we're all here tonight and that's Pamela Peaks," he says.

The two old men clap as vigorously as their infirmities allow.

"Maybe Alex Sanders will show up," says the sidekick.

I point out Jen X.

The sidekick calls her over.

"Thank you for being here tonight," says the sidekick to her. "Jen X. Is that your Christian name?"

The sidekick thanks Larry (the Rudolph Valentino lookalike who's always giving flowers to the girls and remembering their birthdays) for his contributions. "You're very brave," says the sidekick, shaking his hand. "Larry, I know what you saw and did."

Jen X: "Everyone's like, 'Do you remember your Hebrew?'"

Luke: "Did you have a bat mitzvah?"

Jen X: "I decided to be punk rock instead. I was getting a bat mitzvah with a mohawk."

She got her first tattoo at 16.

Luke: "Why did you keep going?"

Jen X: "I have an addictive personality."

Sidekick comes over. "Luke, if I could be honest.

"Sorry, Phyllisha Anne's coming by."

"Luke, you're not putting this on the internet are you? This is off the record. You're following the Associated Press Guidebook, aren't you?"

Lori Vargas strips on stage.

"What Lori Vargas has done for our community is just unmentionable... Rob, she does everything for the children, doesn't she? 2257."

We mourn Betty Friedan.

Luke: "What have you guys been working on?"

Rob: "We don't talk about projects. We are not here to plug movies or music. We're here for Pamela Peaks."

There's an old shutterbug with an oxygen tank.

Sidekick grabs a random fan named Eddie: "These people owe something to you, don't they?"

Sidekick: "Eddie, before you leave, thank you for what you've done over the past year."

Rob: "God bless you."

Phil Spector's former assistant walks over and holds out a bowl of saltines. "They didn't stint tonight."

"There's Cara Lott," says the sidekick, waving his fan. "She's the Ellen Barkin of our community."

Phyllisha Anne walks out waving an American flag in honor of Ron Sullivan's contributions to the pornographic arts.

She escorts him to the stage.

"This is a billion dollar industry," says the Colonel.

August 19, 2005

Video Video Video

That's Colonel Robert Schaffner.

Sunday at 5 p.m., I joined AVN's Mark Kernes with about 20 others for this historic event at 4328 Melrose Blvd.

Jim Beck, one of the Colonel's most devoted followers, insists on calling Kernes "Mike Albo."

The press conference begins with a song and then is thrown up for questions.

Luke: "Why are you closing?"

Rob: "Because the economy sucks. I lost $60,000 last year on this store. It's become a club house. It's always been about hanging out and getting drunk and doing what you want... The DNA you are looking at on the ground, if they came in and did those luminol testings, this place would light up, it would look like a hippie's apartment."

"You might very well have been invited here today to watch the Colonel blow his head off."

Ivan Lerner from New York asks: "Do you have an enemies list?"

Rob: "Number one. These local community business groups. These fat old housewives that have nothing better to do than to pry into your business."

Ivan in a falsetto voice: "Because they want to protect the children."

Rob: "Exactly. We'll protect the children. We'll eat 'em.

"Number two. The federal government has been a pain in my ass since I was 15 and working with the old school guys [such as Russ Meyer].

"Number three. Local police. We got raided a year ago. They took a bunch of porn. Guess what I never got back? My porn.

"Number four. My mother. I haven't seen her or talked to her... I was up on an obscenity charge in 1988, one of my first obscenity charges, and my mother testified for the federal government that I was a scumbag since I was a little kid, and that I masturbated since the age of eight and all I wanted to do was torture women."

"Number five enemy of Mondo Video is the press."

The Colonel's father is "Captain Art. A colorful character," says his son.

Art is 77. He's recovering from brain surgery.

Rob says his brother is a drug addict. Rob had him working in porn, "which is no place for a drug addict."

"My brother was so hopped up and high that customers would rat on him to me."

Rob lists his favorite people.

"Phil Spector is the pariah of LA. He loves foreplay with women. He's legendary for bringing home certain young ladies who work in the Adult industry. $1500. And they'd orally do the gun. I've heard this from at least 20 different women. For $500 extra, Spector would like to do the Russian Roulette game (after using a disabled bullet)."

"Next on the list is Pizza Paul next door. He's like a father figure."

"Jim Jones was a hero. He talked people into moving to a jungel in nowhere and commit suicide. The cowards ran."

"Number two is Titus Moody."

In his teens, Rob worked for Harry Novak, who shot such as classics as The Pigkeeper's Daughter.

One day Rob met Titus Moody on a set and brought him into hardcore.

"Number one is Russ Meyer. My father was a television repairman to the stars. He fixed Judy Garland's TV, Jack Benny... He did night calls. These were stars. They wanted service now.

"I'd go along with him.

"I was 15. We went to this house under the Hollywood sign. His house is a museum. My dad's working on Russ's TV. I start going through his crap and looking at his pictures.

"Russ noted I had an eye for photography. He said, 'I've never noticed anyone react to my photography like you have.'"

Russ insisted that Rob graduate from high school. He then gave him a blue 1972 Cadillac that Rob still drives.

Rob would take a bus from school to work for Russ. "Russ adopted me. I'm an adoptable little puppy."

"I was with Russ until the end."

"We'd go to titty bars. He was in the first stages of Alzheimers but he knew what a tit was."

Luke: "What happened to your marriage?"

Rob: "Too much drugs and the Colonel's gone. And the drugs weren't on the Colonel's end.

"I was addicted to heroin when I was about 24. I call it my $100,00 tattoo."

He unrolls his sleeve.

James Beck: "It's a gateway drug."

Rob: "It led me down the road to marijuana."

"Russ saw that I was addicted to heroin. So Russ locked me up in the desert house. I dried out there. I can't tell you about the pain. That was the end of my drugs. I smoked pot and cigarettes."

"Always in porn you put your hand in the cookie jar.

"I've always dated girls outside of the business.

"I was working late... Jim Powers and I were adrenaline-based directors. We'd get high from shooting a f--- flick.

"A lot of directors had drug habits. We all agree that when you're shooting porn and you're on your game, your job is to push that envelope. After a while, shooting people f---ing it becomes everyday and you want to go further...and the only way you can get high is to go further...and you get that shot of the cum dribbling off her face and maybe even some blood coming out the side of her mouth... As a cameraman, you're shaking. It's like getting a fix. It is better than a fix."

"I'm out working long hours and she's down here at Mondo Video A Go Go meeting the dregs of society.

"Jim and I would start driving that edge and the adrenaline starts kicking in and we're there until 4:30 a.m. as we're getting our porn fix. She's here mixing with the scumbags and eventually the first thing I notice is that her teeth are getting black. It got to the point where I didn't want to go home. I had two homes. I only have one now.

"It's getting worse. Maggots in the garbage. Trash strewn all over. One night I came home and found a syrine in the trash can. We call them a spent round. I hadn't f---ed that woman for a year before the divorce.

"She got more pale. Dark rings under eyes. I'm not going to f--- that and get AIDS. It's el divorco time."

"She was a speedballer. Heroin and cocaine."

"I took advantage of the heroin. I got a good divorce settlement. We're going through this divorce and she's as high as a kite. Basically, I bought her out."

"I haven't seen her in three years."

"The evidence came out that there was saliva on Phil Spector's cock. Guess who's? Lana Clarkson. There was saliva on her left tit. It's sad that someone with a great set of tits had to die but you know what? It's entertainment.

"They also found another person's saliva on his cock."

"They rape-kitted it."

"I love this trial and I hope there's a season two."

Rob says his older brother is a member of the Klu Klux Klan.

On the ride to California from Missouri, Rob's younger brother David died (at about eight months of age) in Arkansas. Rob says his dad suspects that his mother strangled David to get back at him.

They kept the body in the car for several days until they got to California. The smell was terrible. It was the middle of summer. And there's a dead baby in the car for five days.