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Phoebe
Retires
She
posts May 15, 2006 on MySpace:
Phoebe is dead. I have learned that friends are more imoprtant than
money. the ones who care about you and love you more than life itself
is even more important. I was a sucker for not thinking that in the
beginning. i have lost soo much over the past 4 months. it is time for
Jenn to finish what she started, go to college (finally) and have a
real job. im almost 22...what do i have to show in life? that i am a
porn star??? No that is not me. i am better than that. I have the love
of my heart to show me that. i i was so close to losing him when it
finally hit me. Jenn is better than Phoebe. Phoebe is a whore. she did
what she had to to for her reasons. now that it is out of my system..she
died. and i know that now i am gonna get a ---- load of messages asking
me why i left, especially when some people had a feeling that i wouldn't
make it in hollywood. well it wasn't that i didn't make it. for those
who didn't believe me...i was big. "phoebe pigtails" n to joshey...phoebe
booby cause my boobs grew a little bit. eventually my ---- will come
out on DVD but i wont be there to promote it. fame and fourtune isnt
worth loosing friends and loved ones. money doesnt buy happiness...i
never thought that to be true untill i almost lost my happiness.
She
blogs May 20: "what i was will never go away. id have to relocate
myself and never tell ne one who or what i was. but that would be running
from myself. i love the people who have remained my friend throughout
my journey. without them i wouldn't be where i am now."
She
blogs April 7:
I can't sleep. well, I did for like 5 hours...and that is like a nap
to me. I came home from work last night around 11 pm and was just absoutley
horny as hell. I did a girl girl girl scene with Jessica Jammer and
Alicia Aligohtti....used a dildo and all that other good ----....but
nothing beats the feeling of having a guy lay next to you, on top of
you.....or even below you. I miss going on dates. Not just the typicial
dinner and a movie date either, i can do that with anyone.....dates
that really matter. weather it is ordering chineese sittin on the bed
and watching corny movies... goin to the park in the dead of winter
just to swing on the swings...buying a 1/2 quart of icecream and eating
it in the car while watching a rainstorm...or having a midnight picnic
in the park underneath a stary night (emo ---- activated...now) I miss
it all. The lights, cameras, money, internet fame, none of it compares
to a passionate kiss..or christ even a night of cuddling with someone
you care about. You people prolly think I am nuts...i get to have sexxx
everyday...most of the guys have huge penis' and if its not on camera..i
can call up any of them and ---- them whenever i want. well. ITS NOT
THE SAME...A male talents ---- is still staged. no matter what. they
know when they are gonna cum...and they "---- to pop". It's just to
let off a little stress. Not to be in total bliss (----en emo rhymes)
But honestly..why me?? Yes I'm a nympho..but not just for anyones sex....i
want a lil romance in my life too. Is that so much to ask?
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