Crissy Moran leaves porn for God
From Wikipedia:
Crissy Moran (born December 22, 1975, in San Diego, California) is
an American erotic actress. Her ethnicity is English, Irish and Polynesian.
She came from a small town outside of Jacksonville, Florida, and moved
to Las Vegas, Nevada, and then to Los Angeles, California. In 1999,
Moran started in the porn industry as a nude model. Her first nude pictures
were published online. Her first hardcore photographs were published
in 2000 on an adult internet website. She was featured in the 2001 Castrol
Oil calendar and appeared in Lowrider magazine prior to her forays into
web design. She subsequently opened her pay website, "Club Crissy."
Originally, her pictures were mostly softcore in nature; as the years
progressed, she expanded into hardcore heterosexual and lesbian pictorials,
the use of sex toys and fetishism, including bondage.
Shelley
Lubben blogs 10/6/06:
A couple of months before Crissy contacted me, I found a link to a
song called "Crissy M" and when I heard it, I prayed for the woman in
the song. A couple of months later she contacts me and tells me that
Jesus is leading her out of the sex industry. WOW! What an awesome God
we serve!
Crissy Moran blogs:
My #1 interest right now is building my relationship with God and leaving
my old life behind! God loves all of us no matter what we have done.
I have worked in the adult industry for 6 years and he still has been
calling out to me to bring me back home. Some of the greatest people
in the bible have done things we cannot even imagine and God has used
them in very powerful ways. Just know that it's not too late for any
of us!
I
could always sense men lusting after me even at a young age. I felt
many of his friends looked at me with lust even though I was a little
girl. When I would be alone with his friends they would make weird remarks
about how pretty I was and it gave me the creeps. My dads buddies son
was the 4th person to molest me. This is something I just dealt with
because I saw the way the little boys father beat him and I was scared
he would kill him. He always had bruises and was way knowlegable about
sex and I could tell by the things he would do to me. I would fight
him kicking and screaming and my little brother would always try to
jump him when he could. I would feel so dirty but a couple of people
had already molested me in my life. I was afraid also because my dad
always said he would kill anyone who would touch me. Eventually they
moved out. My dad had become an alcoholic. My mom still took us to church
and we just began being with her more and my dad was left out of the
equation. His thinking became irrational. My mom was fearful of him
and so were my brother and I. He would go out to bars and come home
with gun shots, broken knuckles, and with bruises and blood on him.
He would say he was preaching the word and someone didn't like it. He
started being very mean to my mom. One time he flipped over our dinner
table because she cooked something in the microwave and he expected
everything to be fresh and homemade. He started using his fists to break
car windshields, our french doors, and anything else that was around
when he would become enraged. He started giving us spankings more often
but a lot of times my mom would intervene and say she would do it because
she feared he was too angry and would hurt us. He still preached the
word all the while.
One day close to Christmas my mom and dad had went to his work Christmas
party. We stayed home alone and when they got home they were fighting.
My brother and I were in our bedroom crying as we heard my parents arguing.
My dad ripped my moms beautiful red satin dress off of her and I heard
things being thrown in the other room. My dad was calling my mom a whore
and telling her as she ran out the front door if she took us away from
him he would kill her. Often when they would fight she would take me
and my brother with her over to my grandmas house. She left us there
this time. We were scared wondering what would happen next. My dad gave
us both a trash bag and told us to pack up some of our things and throw
the bags into the back of the truck. He then drove away with us to another
city close to Orlando. We weren't allowed to call our mom for a few
days. When we finally could we weren't allowed to tell her where we
were.
Crissy
Moran blogs Oct. 6:
I have been feeling very sad for girls who are in porn who are strung
out on drugs, their souls are lost, and they are doing unimaginable
things with whoever and waking up one day and wondering where their
lives went or even worse ending up dead. I have been reading gossip
forums for a couple of years and I also know some of these girls that
porn is destroying.
I have been in porn for 6 years and I have witnessed first hand a gorgeous
womans looks fade along with her soul. It really breaks my heart. A
lot of you don't know what goes on behind the scenes. You guys know
I didn't do a lot of what I am speaking of because I stuck to the softer
side of porn (seems weird to say that).
The thing is even girls who do the softer side of porn sometimes lose
themselves. Some become strippers and a lot of girls who do the softer
stuff escort. Many of the girls have been victims of abuse sometime
in their lifetime and are just looking for love and acceptance (like
me).
My eyes were recently opened to the total destruction porn does. Not
only does it hurt the girls in the business but it hurts you the consumer.
Porn does not discriminate. Sex/porn addiction is preventing many people
from finding true happiness in their lives. I know because I have spoken
to so many of you through the years by email and message exchanges.
Many of you spoke to me about your wives, your lonlieness, your dreams,
and many of you looked to me for all the answers. I always tried to
be careful when answering because I always realized that you are a person
just like me who wants love and acceptance. I have gone through times
when the guilt was so bad I just didn't answer at all hence my many
hiatuses. This will be the last time I leave all of you hanging.
Many of you know that my boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months
ago but don't know why. I will explain some of that at a later time.
Let's just say the effects of the adult business took a hit on my personal
life. I have decided that I want to be free from all of the guilt now.
I am making great money doing what I do but the money is not making
me happy. I have moved into my own place now for the first time all
alone and have decided I want out of the business. I have so much more
to offer to the world than my looks and body. These things will fade.
I want to experience true real life happiness.
I know a lot of you will think I have lost my mind but I think that
will only be the ones of you who never really knew me. I have decided
to go back to my one true love who is Jesus. You may or may not believe
in him and well I am not here to judge you. I am just here to share
with you my story if you are willing to listen. My website is still
up for now and I have yet to discuss these things with my webmasters.
I am not sure what will happen in that respect. I am looking for legal
counseling and any help I can get. It will be gone soon enough though.
I will be posting here on my myspace page everything going on in my
life until then. I ask you to forgive me for entering into your lives
and stripping you from the more important things in life like finding
true love, happiness, and your families.
I cruised over to Crissy's
web site and read the Club Crissy free tour:
There's nothing like variety to spice things up, and that's exactly
what I deliver, month in and month out. I update several times a month
with brand, spanking new content, so there's always something fresh
for your viewing pleasure.
I love the thought that you're out there stroking your big cock while
looking at me, so don't wait another minute...
Celeb writes: "If by chance ms. moran's reference point - in this
case the bible - were to be proven mostly fable - which i believe it is
- then she has to take responsibility, blame and inherent shame for the
choices she made - and live with or die with them. a god you never have
to actually deal with - is the perfect god - as he will never judge or
scold you. And that's all these "forgiven" girls have left - because down
here on earth - she's marked and she should have thought about that before
that first shoot."
Crissy Moran emails:
The tour for clubcrissy.com was not made by me nor written by me but
by my webmaster. I do not speak that way and if anyone has ever seen
an interview or worked with me you would know that.
As for Celeb's comment: I do take complete resposibility for my choices
in life. I have come out in public and asked forgiveness of my fans.
God has already forgiven me and forgotten!
CrissyMoran.com
Her webmaster posts:
Well as I am sure some of you are aware Crissy
Moran has decided to leave the adult industry and take up an interest
in Religion & Christianity. As shocking as this might be to all of you,
we are and are just as equally shocked being we were the last people
Crissy told.
So what does this mean for everyone with galleries, free sites and
everything else out there promoting Crissy Moran? Well back in 2004
Crissy Moran signed a 5 year contract with Medium Pimpin (Net 227 Inc)
entitling us to retain all rights to her Domain name CrissyMoran.com
and all content new and old in conjunction with the site. So this is
good news for everyone. Medium Pimpin will run the contract until it
expires in 2009 leaving us with the rights to the site for just over
3 more years.
I am sure some of you wonder why you should still promote the site
and its simple, nothing will change other then Crissy Moran is not involved
at all. Her site has thousands of active members but we were lucky to
see maybe 30 in her cam shows at a time. So with the departure of Crissy
Moran all her personal stuff is now deleted such as her Surfer Forum,
Daily Diary, and Cam Shows.
As stated we don't see this being an issue for anyones conversions,
being research shows people we not all that interested in knowing her
or talking with her they were more interested in her stunning smile
and smashing good looks. Medium Pimpin still have more then 1 year worth
of regular updates of photo and video updates, so conversions will remain
strong as will rebills.
Crissy
Moran's Testimony
She
pours out her life story on this Nov 4, 2006 MySpace blog. She says
she's been looking for love.
Most people are. They seek love/attention/meaning and will orient their
lives towards that in the same way plants grow towards the sun. Aside
from the money, attention is the primary reason girls do porn.
Crissy grew up in Jacksonville, Florida. Her first 11 years were relatively
happy. Her home was peaceful and Christian. Her father was a pastor.
Crissy writes that she was first molested at age five by the father of
friends.
Moran's dad began drinking. When drunk, he'd often rant about his daughter's
virginity and how he would kill any man who took it.
She felt embarrassed. She felt men looking at her with lust. More guys
molested her.
Crissy writes that to this day she is insecure about her looks and hates
to be seen without her make-up.
Crissy's step-dad ridiculed her. She had bad posture and poor table manners.
"My dad kept calling me and asking me if I was still a virgin or
if I had become a whore... Both boys and girls had molested me all my
life and now I was starting to enjoy it."
At 18, Crissy had an abortion.
She graduated with her class in 1994.
She had several relationships that lasted longer than a year. For a little
while, she was promiscuous. "I would have wild nights from time to
time where I would drink a lot to get through the pain in my life. I would
hurt myself to see if anyone would care and no one did."
Crissy yearned for a man to rescue her.
She got engaged at 21. She was sad when she found her fiance had porn
stashed in his closet. Because she did not feel good enough for him, she
got a breast job.
They broke up.
After another break-up, she started having panic attacks. She went on
medication. It dulled her emotions. She was bored at work. She cruised
the internet. She put up pictures of herself on a modeling site. She did
a topless shoot. On day two, she went completely naked.
She got a boyfriend who managed her nude modeling career. He pushed her
into having a threesome with another woman. Crissy hated that.
Moran got into a three and a half year relationship with a man she says
repeatedly tried to kill her. "He controlled my modeling career,
my emails, my phone calls, my friendships, my bank account, my life!"
She joined her boyfriend in doing cocaine, crystal meth, marijuana, and
ecstasy.
It hurt her that her boyfriend used porn and chased women.
"The remaining time during my relationship was me trying to get
away. I had fallen out of love but only felt sympathy for him. He was
with me every minute of the day. If I was out of his sight got 5 minutes
he would come check on me. One time I jumped out of the car after he threatened
to kill me. I ran across lanes of traffic into a gas station crying and
screaming for someone to call the police only to be looked at like I was
crazy while my boyfriend carried me away."
"One day he tried to smother me with my pillow. After hours of arguing
I ran out of the house and down the street to a neighbors house. They
called the police and he went to jail. I tried to make plans to leave
but his friends posted bail and he came home before I could leave."
This reminds me of the story Linda
Lovelace told in her book Ordeal.
Crissy had more bad relationships. She was taken to the hospital for
panic attacks. She tried to overdose on xanax. She tried to strangle herself.
She cut her wrists but not deep enough to die.
She went to church but felt guilty and chose her nude modeling work over
religion.
"I was friends with several girls whose lives changed while being
in porn. I saw the looks fade with drug and alcohol use. I witnessed their
spirits being broken. I saw the way the men in their lives treated them."
Crissy was now in the best relationship of her life, but her boyfriend
kept nude pictures of his exes around the house and still went to strip
clubs. This upset her.
She started thinking about the men who were cheating on their wives by
looking at nude photos of her and sending her long erotically charged
emails.
Moran decided in the summer of 2006 that she had to leave porn.
July 18, 2007
She
writes on MySpace:
I left porn on October 6, 2006. I did not receive another dime from
my website. I had a contract with a company to run my website and they
refused to take it down. They have exploited the fact that I am now
a Christian. I have seen website affiliates mock me and my change. I
even saw a nude picture of myself with photoshopped pictures of Jesus'
face covering my breasts. The old website continues to run because I
cannot afford a lawyer. I get so upset every time I get an email from
another Christian accusing me of profiting. I also worked for many companies
who own the rights to my photos. You see in the porn business they make
sure you sign a model release that says that once they pay you your
modeling fee they own the photos. It's all a way to protect themselves
in case the girls change their minds or in my case give their lives
over to Christ.
I struggle daily with my past mistakes not because I feel condemned
because I know there is no condemnation in Christ, but because I worry
that my past will lead others down the wrong path. It causes me so much
grief to think that other young women might see my past and be persuaded
to get involved in porn or to think that my old images are fuel to someone
addicted to porn.
Two months after leaving porn I went completely broke and lost my vehicle.
I still had to pay rent and bills and God provided for me in this time.
I took out my hair extensions and lost the fake nails. No more spa,
no more gym membership, no more restaurants. It was hard to leave all
the luxuries behind but I still continued in my pursuit of God. I began
to attend church regularly twice a week, went on a retreat with my church,
met with my pastor and my mentor. I went through much anxiety about
not having any money. I broke out in hives over and over, got very little
sleep, and gained a little weight. A spiritual war began as I suffered
nightmares almost every night and had to learn to take control of it.
Greater is the one who is within me than the one who is of this world!
God used that time of anxiety to strengthen my dependence on him. Slowly
my anxiety diminished more and more. I still deal with some but not
nearly how I did months ago!
January 2, 2007, I began working in a law office as a receptionist
and making just enough money to pay my bills. At the same time I was
dealing with a lot of my issues from my past - past abortions, abuse,
anger, and depression (which is why I haven't blogged much since then.)
It has been quite the rollercoaster...
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