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Austin Shaw, Betty Ogden - All-American Porno Couple

Austin, Betty Austin, Betty Austin, Betty Austin, Betty Austin, Betty Austin, Stacey

4/5/05

I can't get over this couple. They look like the most wholesome people in the world. From Colorado, they give new meaning to the phrase "rocky mountain high." Yet they are doing porn.

They've done some shoots in the Mid-West but none in Los Angeles yet.

I meet them at World Modeling's talent call Tuesday afternoon.

Austin has a masters degree in Fine Arts and Betty (31yo), the captain of her highschool and college cheerleading teams, has a bachelors degree in International Relations. I don't think that having sex with African men on camera is exactly what her college had in mind for her.

Where have we as a society gone wrong? Whatever happened to bourgeois values? To the notion that proper people, people of good breeding and high class, do not soil themselves by performing in pornographic movies? Have we no shame?

I fear that we are defining deviancy down at a time when our civilization demands the raising of moral standards, not the lowering of them.

While Arab women use their vaginas as cannons, our women use them as playthings (credit Chaim Amalek).

I longed to discuss these matters more deeply with Austin and Betty , and as they were stuck in a hallway with me waiting to be seen by Craig Valentine and Summer Haze, they had no bloody choice but to talk to me and smile at my camera.

After waiting for an hour, they finally got in to see Craig and Summer. They were immediately told that they should show up the next day for a shoot. But Austin and Stacy have to plan these things many days in advance. So it turns out that they had to talk to me for a long time, wait even longer in line, and all for nothing more than the tawdry thrill of seeing their lives and choices disected on my website. Oh, the horror! The horror!

Our conversation was uneventful. The hallway was too cramped, the atmosphere too pressured, the circumstances too strange, to be able to openly share what was on our hearts.

Austin and Betty first went out in highschool. They began dating steadily in college, seven years ago.

They began to experiment in private with cameras and recording their most intimate acts. This led to their desire to appear in porn. Soon they'll be selling their bodies and souls on Sunset Blvd for a quick fix.

Only I can save them. Only by the power of my words will they see the light. Only if they follow me, can they live forever.

OK, maybe that last one was an exaggeration.

Austin has at least one tattoo to demonstrate in his own flesh how the debased values of the lower class have penetrated the mores of the university educated.

Austin turned in at least one pornographic photo shoot (starring himself and his wife, note the lighting, composition and the nature of the wife's vagina) for credit towards his masters.

Betty has dimples. When she smiles, I see lines of perfect white teeth. When she smiles, my heart leaps. When she smiles, my fingers long to dance over my keyboard.

Austin says he would not feel intimidated if his old lady, his ball-and-chain, worked with someone with a bigger package. "I'm sufficient," he says pithily.

Austin and Betty say very little.

I find it difficult to unlock their hearts so they can take in my wise teachings.

Say you, say me. Say it for always, that's the way it should be.

Austin and Betty have not done black people on camera yet but due to their elite education they seem open to race-mixing.

Yes, I am so dull that I am reduced to the lowest level of race baiting.

No matter how obnoxious my questions, my interview with the couple is so boring I can't bear to listen to it to even begin transcribing.

I say to the couple: "You guys are so nice, it's hard for me to abuse you. I want to be Mid-Western."