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02/10/27

I walk upstairs and into the kitchen. Joel Lawrence, wearing a white sweater, sits at a table reading today's Los Angeles Times. He looks like a college professor and has played one many times in a porn movie. Aria, a tight-bodied spunky brunette, waltzes in and grabs a Krispy Kreme donut. Feeling guilty, she says it is her first donut in three years.

Aria reads the script. "Oh, I have cancer."

Shay: "Don't worry. I heal you."

Aria: "Yeah, by f---ing me?"

Aria: "I was doing my fifth scene ever. This new girl has only done anal once. She liked anal beads. We're fooling around. It's sexy and hot. We swap into a 69 scene. I'm on the bottom. I'm pinned underneath her. We put in the anal beads and she sh--- in my open mouth. We try not to say anything so we don't embarrass her. She turns around and freaks."

Aria (formerly Marie Silver), of www.ariaxxx.com, says: "I had sex with my husband in this club called Spa in New York about a year ago. They had a party there. People were getting naked. They had this big box called the freak box, which looked like a big standup tanning booth. There was a huge wide-lens camera that filmed everything that went on inside the box. At midnight they let the public in. My husband and I went in. They said we could do anything. So we went in. I went down on him. He went down on me. We did three positions and he popped on my face. I blow bubbles for the camera. People are banging on the walls cheering. There are 3000 people there. It was reported in the New York Post."

02/10/28

Aria performs an enthusiastic scene with Randy in the bathtub. She squeals loudly. She says her cries are real. She says she has genuine orgasms on camera.

A crew member says to Aria: "Hasn't anyone told you that only men come in these movies?"

Aria, from Portugese descent, eats about six meals a day. She munches on tuna and crackers after her scene. "I crave salt and sugar when I'm pre and post-menstrual," she says. "And before and after sex.

"Normally I have five egg-whites with salsa and steak in the morning, a cup of oatmeal, fruit and a glass of milk. Then I work out for an hour. After that, I'm famished. So I have a protein shake. I'm a Baja Fresh junkie. I get their Fajita platters. I don't eat the fajitas. I eat the steak and beans. I eat carbohydrates after 5PM."

Aria says she's never received a bad check from a porner. She only does features now. "If they're going to put up enough money to do a feature, they're going to have enough money to back up their checks. I only go to one shoot a day. I love being on set all day, seeing everybody. Usually features are of a better quality. Sometimes with a gonzo, you have someone who doesn't know how to shoot you. We all have our bad angles. Ask the reviewers. You shouldn't ever read adult reviews, because the guys are all evil."

Aria then retracts and gives a long explanation about a reviewer who repeatedly rips her. She says she respects different tastes. She doesn't take it personally. She takes it as a learning experience. "I'm an exhibitionist."

Aria has been working and earning money since the age of seven. She kept seeing things as a child that she wanted. Her parents told her - they cost money, you have to earn it yourself.

Aria will appear on another edition of VH1's Porn to Rock November 19th. She starred with Stephanie Swift in the Wicked movie Making It. "We performed five original songs. The one I did was Joan Jett style - not the best for me. He wrote the song for me. Then when I got there to record it, he'd rewritten the song. I had an hour to learn it all over."

Feb 14, 2003

I chat with Aria's husband Jack Spade. He did a few scenes under the name Jack Bravo. Then at the East Coast Video Show, he saw Lexington Steele fool around with Nina Hartley. And when Lex unfurled his tool, Jack decided to retire.

Luke: "How do you like your wife being a porn star?"

Jack: "I watched a show today on Playboy and they asked the same question to a friend of ours. I could tell it was an awkward question for him. And I thought to myself, if anyone ever asked me that, what would I say? And honestly, I don't ever think about my wife being a porn star. I don't think anyone in a real relationship does."

Aria hangs over her husband and keeps reminding him to watch what he says.

Jack: "We were married about a year before she started doing films."

Luke: "How do you like the business?"

Jack: "I like it. You have to be really careful not to get caught up in it and lose your perspective and priorities."

Luke: "Does it bother you that almost no relationship lasts in the industry?"

Jack: "We've met a lot of couples in the business and without a doubt there's a lot of fighting. It's very hard to have a relationship in this business. We have a strong commitment.

"We were married about a year and she started revealing to me all these little fantasies. She used to be a little playtoy for a couple. I said, wow, you're kinda freaky. We went to visit them. It was the first time I saw her with another woman. She did amateur [stripping] contests that same weekend. Then she started to dance. It's not enough so you go to the next level."

Aria, munching cucumbers, warns Stormy to be careful of what she says to me.

Aria: "We should have Luke come to your birthday party."

Stormy: "I know nothing about the birthday party."

Luke: "When is it?"

Aria: "None of your business."

Stormy: "St. Patrick's Day."

Luke: "How old will you be?"

Stormy: "24."

Jessica Drake and Aria are on the birthday committee.

Luke: "Would you like me to jump out of a cake?"

Aria: "Naked?"

Luke: "No."


Aria: "We're holding auditions for a male stripper."

Stormy says she gets crazy when the seven of them hang out (Aria, Stormy, Jessica, Monique Alexander, Dolorian, etc).

Luke: "Do you get intoxicated?"

Aria: "We bring a limo. We don't drive. Of course if we're in a limo we're going to be intoxicated."

Luke: "Do you like to drink in the mornings before you go to work on set?"

Aria: "No, I do not. Nobody drinks before movies. Nobody does drugs. Nobody even smokes weed in this business because we're all pure and sweet and innocent except we like to spread out legs..."

Aria Interview
2003-08-26 21:16:42

From www.topprotalent.com:

--Sun Y. Chen

(LOS ANGELES, CA) -- I spent time speaking with Aria of AriaXXX.com. She's so sweet, fun and sexy, I'm sure she's going to be one of the adult Hall of Famers in years to come.

Sun: We all know you from your recent karaoke Tuesdays at Sardo's. Of course both you and Wankus have talked about how it all started, how you guys were basically just singing on his show the last time you were on and decided to make it a night out, right?

AriaXXX: Yeah, it's so funny because it started out as just this idea to get together because I thought Wankus had a great voice and that it would be cool to do karaoke. And now it's this huge industry event.
*laughs* That's so crazy.

Sun: I'm thinking that karaoke isn't really a new thing for you, is it?

AriaXXX: No, actually, I've been going for years! I've been going since I was 15.

Sun: 15? You were at bars at that tender age?

AriaXXX: Yeah, it was great, I'd go with some people into karaoke bars and I didn't get carded or anything. Then we'd drink and sing all night long. There were a LOT of karaoke places on Rhode Island, but not so many in Florida. I love it in Los Angeles because there are plenty of places to sing at.

Sun: What do you normally like to sing?

AriaXXX: Actually I love to sing country but I think it scares people, especially in LA so I pretty much sing everything.

Sun: I know plenty of people have seen you in Wicked's Makin It. Have you done anything else that kind of mixed singing and porn?

AriaXXX: Yeah I was in VH1's Porn to Rock. And this really isn't adult industry related, but I also did some demo songs for Faith Hill.

Sun: You seem to be branching out a lot these days, aren't you also doing fitness competitions? That's not any of that gross She-Man stuff is it?

AriaXXX: No no! When I compete it's in the "figure" competitions. What that means is basically it's all the pretty girls that work out and have muscles. We're all still VERY feminine but we're very toned. Kim Chambers also competes in figure competitions and she's very feminine and pretty too.

Sun: So is it really hard to do the competitions? What's it like?

AriaXXX: Well, I only started to train 3 months before my first show. It was somewhere between late February and early March. The show was in May and I placed 4th, and I'm going to do another show in November. As far as it being hard, well, it's just a lot of self discipline. I have to eat small meals all though the day, and I have to weight train every day and do cardio twice a day.

Sun: A lot of people don't know this, but in your days as Marie Silva, you wrestled a lot. What was that all about?

AriaXXX: Oh, well, I basically wrestled with a lot of girls and a few guys for grapplinggirls.com and greeneyes.com. Basically, we wrestled and then they taped it and either featured it on their sites or sometime sold them as videos.

Sun: So basically that was way back in the day or have you done anything recently?

AriaXXX: Well, I did do some stuff fairly recently with California Wildcats. I also did some work last year for Extreme Wrestling with Keri Windsor, Taylor St. Claire, and Angelica Sin.

Sun: Would you say that your current fitness competing is kind of an offshoot from the wrestling?

AriaXXX: No, not really. I mean, I've always been very physically active, but they're different.

Sun: Kind of makes you think that you and your husband, Jack Spade, must have an aggressively physical relationship then.

AriaXXX: Not at all! We do have a pretty interesting physical relationship though.

Sun: Do tell.

AriaXXX: Well, we're both talent, and we're swingers.

Sun: Well, that just means that you have sex with other people
professionally and privately.

AriaXXX: Basically.

Sun: How does something like that start though? I mean, you didn't
meet while you were both talent.

AriaXXX: No, we met back in Florida several years ago. We were friends for a year and a half and then we got engaged right away. We were engaged for like 6 months and then we got married. After we got married I mentioned to him that I had messed around with this older couple when I was 18. It was funny. He was like, "And WHY did you not mention this
to me sooner??"

Sun: What happened after that little revelation?

AriaXXX: We went to visit that couple and we hung out and played pool. I got some girl/girl action and they just watched. And took pictures.

Sun: Speaking of which.....seems like we have those pictures right here, for all the readers of TPT! These pictures are never before seen, right?

AriaXXX: Right, they were the first naked or semi naked pictures I ever took. Ohbmy god, I look so different.

Sun: How did the swinging thing move on from there?

AriaXXX: My first scene ever was for Seymour Butts and Jessie Jaymes. Jessie and her husband are both swingers, so they kind of introduced us to the whole scene.

Sun: And who's idea was it to start the swinging? His?

AriaXXX: No, it was a mutual decision. Like I said, I had kind of already been into it with that one couple. They had introduced me to another couple that I had sex with. It was weird, it was in the girl's parents house, too. *laughs* I mean, we both were really sexual before we even got into the business. I was into girls and bondage before the business
too.

Sun: So do you guys just have sex with other people together?

AriaXXX: Well, no. We do have sex with other people. You know, if one of us is too busy, then the other one will just get a free pass. The free passes go both ways. But we've moved on from the free pass stage. It's pretty much completely open now.

Sun: Basically meaning sex for everyone then?

AriaXXX: Yeah, it's great. I mean, in a way it gives us time to focus on other things sometimes. We don't have to wait for each other to release tension.

Sun: But do you still have sex with each other?

AriaXXX: Oh yeah, of course. I just mean that if we need to talk about things or do things we don't have to rush and have sex and then move on to everything else.

Sun: Okay, so have you ever really thought about what you want to to after porn?

AriaXXX: I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I still want to pursue the fitness thing. I also would really love to direct and produce my own lines. I don't have a whole lot of experience with filming and cameras but I think it would be great to bring the intensity that I like to have in my scenes into other people's scenes too. Besides, to help out the talent, I can always jump in there and show them how it's done....*laughs*

---

AriaXXX has been in over 300 adult films and has an incredible web site at http://www.AriaXXX.com. You can also catch her most Tuesday nights singing Karaoke at 9:00pm, Sardos in Burbank.

Aug. 26, 2003

Aria and Julian compare different diets. Julian has just gone on the Zone and dropped ten pounds in as many days.

I sit outside in the shade and ready the novel Mohwawk by Richard Russo. Aria, topless, shows me her new do-it-all cell phone.

Luke: "Put something on."

Aria: "Why? Does it make your dick hard?"

Luke: "I'm too professional to get an erection."

Aria: "You have wood problems or are you gay? There's Viagra."

DUC to Aria: "Do you have gonorrhea? Tell me about your STDs"

Aria: "Somebody called me. Said he had chlamydia. We'd had sex. I got tested. I was negative. And then I got a positive chlamydia test from AIM. I hadn't worked with anyone in two weeks. I got an immediate retest. It came back negative. The same thing with gonorrhea. At least they're cautious. AIM says the lab sends it back as positive if it is within a certain percentage... I took my medicine anyway."

DUC to Aria: "Are there guys in the industry you'd do for free on camera?"

Aria: "There's lots of footage of me doing guys at times I shouldn't be doing. There's an unpaid sex scene (during Phoenix Rising) of Julian and me just saying hello. And another one.

"I had a two hour break from the set on Satsuma. I stopped by to say hello. I was working nearby. Julian grabbed me and we had sex around the corner on a broken chair."

Luke: "Tuck your robe in so you can be more modest."

Aria: "Would you like me to have sex with all my clothes on as well?"

Luke: "Yes. And underneath the sheets, so they can't see anything."

Then there was male talent Matt Bixell (Christian) who was looking through AVN. He saw himself on the cover of a big homosexual video.

Aria: "I was approach to work with him and I refused."

Luke: "Are you a homophobe?"

Aria: "No. I'm not going to work with someone who does gay porn."

Luke: "Why can't you be more open-minded?"

Aria has just finished her sex scene with Julian.

Luke: "What do you like to eat after a refreshing fornication?"

Aria: "A thick juicy rare steak but not I'm eating salad."

Luke: "I can't believe I walked in on you and you had another man's peepee in you."

Aria: "Shocking."

She munches her salad. She weighs about 20 more pounds now than when I met her. She's appeared in about 300 scenes.

Luke: "I was morally opposed."

Aria: "It took every fibre of your being to stop from screaming out in horror. You ran from the room to save your soul. I appreciated that."

Luke: "I wanted to beat up Julian, throw you over my shoulder, and carry you away."

Aria has yet to shower.

Luke: "If I gave you a hug right now, I'd be hugging Julian."

Aria: "No, you'd be hugging his sperm."

Luke: "Do you find that it helps guys to bond to double penetrate you?"

Aria: "It helps them to get in touch with their gay side."

Luke: "Aria, you have heavy burdens on your soul. You are greatly weighed down. You are torn and tormented. You have things that you want to tell me. You need release. You need exorcism. You need to tell me about all your sins..."

Aria: "So you can tell them to the rest of the world so that I am doubly cleansed. Because the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem."

Luke: "No, I want to hear about other people's troubles."

Aria: "I could give you lots of stories."

Luke: "Just give me a tiny morsel to carry away to my readers."

Aria asks Charles, the art director who's upset that people have drunk his prop waters: "Would a blowjob make you feel better?"

Charles: "What am I supposed to say to that?"

Aria: "Take him off to the bathroom, DUC."

Charles: "Please shave first. I don't want you scratching my scrotum."

Luke: "Have you ever been laid by a porn star?"

Charles: "No. This is my first porn set."

Luke: "What's it been like?"

Charles: "Not once during a sex scene have I felt even a tingle.

"It's been a longtime fantasy of mine to have anal sex. I've never had a girlfriend who was willing to."

Aria: "It's not everything it's cracked up to be. It's basically a tight hole with a big empty space behind it."

March 20, 2007

After spending a few hours on Ron Spallone 's set Tuesday, I drove a mile up Ventura Blvd to Woodland Hills to get a long massage from Keri (www.humblebodyworks@mac.com), who used to go by the porn name Aria.

Then I interviewed her for 80 minutes. Here 's the audio.

Aria Interview Video

Prior to two weeks ago, I had not communicated with Aria for two years though we were always friendly while she was in the industry.

As a child, Keri wanted to grow up to become married and a mother. "I didn 't think about a job. "

She began dating at age 15. She lost her virginity shortly before turning 18. Then she began going to clubs regularly and drinking. She had a sexual relationship with a couple.

A friend in Florida, Jack Spade (Jeremy Doudna), sent her a plane ticket to come to Florida. They married June 12, 1999. She was 22. They were church-going Christians.

Keri confessed her threesome to Jeremy (six years older) who got excited about it and decided they should visit the couple.

On the trip, Keri won an amateur night at a strip club and earned $500.

The Doudnas were behind on their bills. Keri decided to strip most nights of the week.

Then she did a porn film in Tampa in 2001 and another 300 or so over the next four years.

Keri quit porn on April 1, 2005.

Luke: "What allowed you to do porn? "

Keri: "The ability to separate my emotions (and morals) from my actions & It 's like you 're playing a character. It 's not you. It 's not healthy but it 's the only way to do it. "

Luke: "The first time porn was raised to you as a possibility, what went through your mind? "

Keri: "I thought I was going to throw up and then I was heart-broken that the person I had vowed my life to and the person who told me he 'd love me till I died would ask me to do such a thing. "

" There 's no other way. We can 't pay our bills. We 're going to lose the house. ' I was a young newlywed. I knew better but I allowed him to be the man of the house and make a decision. "

"After I started in the business, I couldn 't go to church. How can you stand before God? "

"The fourth movie I shot was on Playboy in three months. I looked horrible. Everybody back home found out from that one video. "

"I lost everything because of the business. My husband and I got divorced. I had nothing &after five years in the industry. I wanted my life back. I wanted my relationship with God back. I wanted to call my family and not feel like I had to keep my conversations brief in case they asked about work. I wanted to have a real relationship. "

Luke: "What did you do with that $250,000 a year you made in the industry? "

Keri: "I paid for my ex-husband 's girlfriend 's abortion. Bail. Attorney fees. Divorce. The computer. I have no idea. I 've got some cool clothes. My ex-husband would say, 'You have to have the best computer. You have to have the newest phone. You have to set an image. You have to dress a certain way and act a certain way. You have to have nice cars. You have to pay a trainer $1,500 a month. You have to have a personal assistant at $4,000 a month to get your groceries. Let 's build a website. I don 't like it. Let 's build another one. So let 's pay this person $5,000 to build it and let 's pay this person to run it.

"It 's all gone and I still owe money to the IRS. "

Luke: "Some parents are so supportive of their daughter 's porn career that they help manage it. What do you think of that? "

Keri: "It 's disgusting. It 's so bad. It 's sick. I don 't understand that. How can you go on set and watch your daughter get screwed by some stranger and say, 'That 's my girl. She just got a thousand dollars. Yay. She 's going to go to college. '

"That tells us where our society is going. Next the dad jumps in. 'OK, we 're going to do a little father-daughter action. "

"I think the parents need some psychological evaluation. "

Luke: "What 's it like having a spouse who 's working in porn? "

Keri: "I was the person who was working. He spent his time working on my career. Some would call him a suitcase pimp. "

"I would get home from work, exhausted, and the first thing out of his mouth was, 'We need $10,000 by Friday. ' We 've got a stack of bills due. Why didn 't you call this person? Why don 't you want to have sex with me? '

"What? How about a glass of wine? Rub my feet. Light some damn candles. And kiss my ass.

"Women are emotional creatures. My emotions were removed all day at work. When I got home, I wanted to detach myself from work and let my emotional side get a break. And I 'd get home and I 'd have to stay in character.

"My emotional needs were not getting looked at, which is why he ended up getting a girlfriend [Becca Brat]. "

Keri has been with Lee Stone, 39, for most of the past three years.

Keri: "In my current situation it 's difficult. When I was still performing, I was dating him, but now I 'm out of the business and he 's not. He 's trying to be out. It 's baby steps. I emotionally detached myself during scenes and so does he but it 's not easy to deal with. "

Luke: "How much would you want to have sex with your husband when having sex was your job? "

Keri: "Not much. The last time we had sex was on camera. It was a horrible scene. "

Luke: "How should society deal with the sex industry? "

Keri: "They should make it more difficult. I feel bad saying, 'Shut down the porn business! ' It 's me turning my back on people I 'm still friends with. Morally, I think they should go after the porn industry with all they 've got and try to shut it down. "

"Immorality is never going to go away but it is society 's job to try to protect the people from it. We 're our own worst enemy. "

"Porn is very addictive. It doesn 't just go away. It 's unhealthy to show it to anybody. "

"In my church, we have a sexual recovery group. Much of it is for guys who struggle with internet porn & When it is that out there, when you push it in someone 's face, it 's dangerous. It breaks up marriages. It ruins relationships. It ruins men 's self-esteem. It makes them curious and then they turn to transsexuals and animals and children. Once they don 't get high any more, they have to push it further. "

Luke: "How would you feel if your daughter went to work for Max Hardcore? "

Keri: "I 'd love to say that I 'd shoot Max Hardcore but truthfully I probably would because I do like guns. "

Luke: "If your daughter was driving drunk, would you call the police? "

Keri: "I totally would. "

Luke: "What percentage of porn stars do you think are happy? "

Keri: "None & I think that deep down inside, they feel an emptiness & You can look back and read interviews that I did about how much I loved sex and loved the business and I had so much fun and I was this wild crazy creature. All I think about is sex. Whatever. It 's a crock.

"It 's not all I think about. I think about God and a good pure relationship with a man and I think about my family and I think about having children and how my life is going to effect my children. And when you think about those things, you stop and think, wow, this business sucks. How would I feel if my 14 year old daughter found out I was a porn star when I was in my twenties? How is that going to effect her and effect her friends and the way they look at her?

"It 's not a natural normal business and there 's no way to be happy in that business. "

"I would play a character but a lot of it was how I am. I just put my morality and emotions on the shelf.

"There were times I got emotionally attached, like with the guy I 'm seeing now. We got emotionally attached while we were both working in the business. So our scenes on camera were intense.

"During oral, I had orgasms a couple of times on camera but only with the guy I 'm dating. He was the only one I 'd let myself go with. "

"I go to a casual laid-back church. I tell anyone who I feel needs to know. I 'm open with people at church. This is my testimony. This is what I used to do. So far, there ' s been nobody that 's had a problem. "

"I had just retired from the Adult industry and the greeter at the door [at church] said, 'Are you and Lee [Stone] still doing that show on Spice TV? You 're my favorite porn star. You and Lee have the best show on TV. What happened? ' I 'm like, 'Can I have my bulletin? This is church. '

"He did it again a couple of weeks later. He asked me something that appalled me. I asked the pastor to have him removed as a greeter. "

"My dad has people pray every Sunday [at his tiny conservative church] for Aria. He doesn 't say who it is. Even though I 'm not Aria anymore. He just prays for that whole part of my life. "

"I still struggle with purity. Because I 've had so much sex, it 's hard for me to go cold turkey. "

Aria says the place for sex is within marriage.

"I never felt I was emotionally unhealthy. I just thought I was pretending to be something that I wasn 't. I was spiritually unhealthy. "

"I was a freak. You said you wanted to post all the old stories on me and I said that I 'd rather that you didn 't because it 's not who I am. It 's not who I was. It was how I portrayed myself to be. I don 't want to be remembered that way. "

"I think I did pretty good at what I did. I look back at interviews and I don 't even know who that person was. A total nympho, going to parties. There are pictures of me making out with girls on the dance floor, skirt flipped up, tongue down people 's throats, running around with a strap-on in a bar & "

"They 're trying to justify it in their own minds. They 're trying to convince you that they 're doing it for a cause. That there 's a reason. They don 't want to just say that they 're doing it for the money. Yeah, it is totally wrong. It 's immoral. Yeah, I 'm a freak.

"They want to feel like they are doing something for somebody. That there 's something good that 's going to come out of it but there 's not. "

"I don 't believe people need sex educators. They 're just looking for more gratification, for a release. Focus on something important. Sex is not the most important thing in life. "

"When we [porn stars] get on TV, it 's for something dumb. I 've never gotten on TV except for porn (and once for a fitness competition). "

"[Porn] is legal but it is not moral. "

Aria says there ' s no difference between porn and prostitution. "It 's the same sin. "

Luke: "Porn stars are prostitutes without shame. "

Aria: "Yeah. We justify it by saying we 're all tested and we 're all family. It 's comfortable. You go on set and you know everyone. For a year in the business, I only worked with my boyfriend. "

"We just make excuses because when you 're in the business, you don 't want to go, 'I 'm a high dollar whore except we shoot on video. ' Nobody wants to feel that way. It makes them feel more important, more like a star &as opposed to being a sex actor. "

"When I was in the business, I didn 't really talk to people about sex. I have a lot of acquaintances but I have very few friends. I don 't have time. "

Luke: Do your friends in the industry have trouble relating to you now that you 're out of the industry?

Keri: "I don 't think so. They just don 't want me to judge them. One guy tells me he 's going to do a porno and he 's going to play Jesus and he 's going to have Mary Magdalene & I got so mad at him. Bastard. I 'm sorry. I still have problem swearing. He knew he was pushing my buttons. That makes me mad. I stormed into the house. He just thinks it 's funny. "

Bob writes: "I wanted to let you know that I think the interview with Aria is just an amazing piece of work. I 've been watching the clips, as opposed to reading the writeup, and it feels as if she really wanted to talk honestly about her life in porn, and her life out of porn. She comes across as such a decent and intelligent woman; I think any 18-year-old deciding whether to enter porn ought to be forced to watch this and think twice. "

Devinn Lane writes on ADT:

Wow! I've always loved Aria and that will not change even though her opinions may seem a little extreme to me. I've noticed that when girls have a bad experience in this business they often swing to the other side of the spectrum. The last time I shot her was on Road Trixx 2 and her ex-husband, his girlfriend, and Lee Stone were all present. Little did I know about the drama. Lee and Aria were great and Aria really went out of her way to accommodate and the ex and the girlfriend. The girlfriend was a fucking nightmare on set! I won't even bother going into the large list of details regarding that girl. Anyway, it seemed like Aria was really in over her head with trying to "caretake" for everyone involved. It's easy to do and often you don't realize the effect it's having on your life until it's too late. Now here's my suggestion to Aria and any other person out there that is a perpetual "caretaker": 1. Know that at any given time you have the option to say NO 2. Screw the Jesus crap. That world is more full of BS than porno. 3. Try an Al-Anon meeting or two. You'll be amazed to find out that your life is the way it is because you are addicted to taking care of other people and forget to take care of yourself first. Aria, I adore you. If you need anything give me a shout.
HERE'S ANOTHER THREAD ON ADT. XPT Aria reponds:
Wow. I never realized so many people would actually read the interview. However, thank you for even bothering to post about it. I realize it seems that I was bashing the Porn industry and blaming it for my problems, but that is far from true. I am the first to admit that I made the decision to do porn and I alone am responsible for the outcome. If you actually listen to the entire interview (which is extremely long) as opposed to just rteading the written interview I think I made that point quite clear. Mike says that I was such a "genuine whore" on camera, and he was absolutely right! I don't deny that I enjoyed doing what I did. However, in order to be that genuine whore, I had to put my emotions and my morals somewhere else. And while I was genuinely that person during that time, it wasn't who I really wanted to be. I have been a Christain since I was 3 years old. That doesn't mean I am not capable of sin, it just means I chose to give my life to Christ and that I am a lot more convicted when I do sin. It is not a title that I took on after leaving the industry so I could talk down to others and tell them what horrible sinners they are. When I was in the industry, I did not have a relationship with God. It doesn't mean that I wasn't still a Christian, but I was not living my life the way I believed that I should, therefore I turned my back on God along with my family and my closest friends. And so truthfully, Aria is just Keri without morals. It is genuinely me not taking into regard what I believe is right or wrong. Without that, it was very easy to let the genuine whore side shine through. The only reason I did the interview with luke is because he asked me to. I don't push my beliefs on people and never will. However, if I am asked, I will be honest and open completely disregarding how it will affect other peoples view of me. And for the record, I am extremely happy in life. I am not bitter towards the business or emotionally scarred by my time in the business. I grew up a lot over those years, and it helped shape me into the woman I am today. Even my fitness career florished due to the fact that I was so confident and comfortable in front of crowds and interacting with strangers. Everything is so much easier in life after doing it naked! And my relationship with Lee, well thats between me and Lee and me and God. Any guilt or condemnation that I deserve is not anyones concern but my own. I am not trying to change or convert Lee, and the reason I do not judge him or leave him is because I understand the business. We were in it together, and just because I left it doesn't change who either of us are. Yes, it is a double standard on my part, but again, no ones business. It is between me and God, and affects no one but Lee and I. I am not blameless and will always struggle with sin.... Anyways, it was intersting to read everyones opinions and thanks for the feedback! And Devinn, it is always a pleasure to hear from you!
Brian posts:

I think it's incredibly hypocritical for anyone to criticize someone's opinions on their former profession when they've never had any experience with that profession. All you'll ever be is adult film fans. You'll never be adult film actors. You don't know what Aria/Keri went through. It's like the sad, unathletic, overweight slobs who criticize professional football players for not "sucking it up" and playing through the pain. They'll only ever be professional football fans. They'll never be athletes. So you "hate" Aria/Keri for leaving the adult film industry and then, God forbid, have something bad to say about it? Aria/Keri has observed that the adult film industry can be very destructive to most of the people in it. You see, she was actually IN the adult film industry. She knows what goes on. She just doesn't jerk off to its products. Do you hate her because she possibly is confirming what you've always suspected but denied while you were masturbating? That the circumstances of adult film production aren't very morally or ethically good? Does it bother you because what she's saying may have some truth to it? I wish Aria/Keri all the best and I sincerely hope she finds peace within herself and those she loves. The only two people in this thread who know what Aria/Keri has gone through are Katja Kean and Devinn Lane. I respect their opinions. The rest of you are pathetic and judgmental.

Aug. 23, 2007

The ex-porn star writes on MySpace Aug. 23: "So my vacation home was amazing....I didn't want to come back to California!!!  My family is so incredible, and so spiritually strong!  It lifted my spirits to fellowship...I needed to be reminded. I struggle so much with the things of this world.  Yes, God is my all. I am nothing apart from him, and I want nothing more than to be an empty vessel for him to fill!!  But I am so weak sometimes!!  Why can I not follow my hearts one desire and live a pure and holy life??  There is nothing I desire more."

Aria blogs Sept. 10:

"I have no Greater Joy than to hear that my children walk in Truth."

That is how my Dad ends every letter to his children. I was blessed with the greatest parents who set the greatest example that any child could ever ask for.

I remember the night I asked Jesus into my heart. I was less than 3 years old, and had a clear understanding of what it meant to be saved. As I knelt there by my bed asking the Lord into my heart, my mother passed my door. She thought I was playing when I was supposed to be in bed sleeping and came into the room and rewarded me with a spanking. When I told her what I was doing, she felt horrible! Her biggest concern was "did I finish?"Of course. I think she was quite proud when at the age 5, I prompted a furious call from a neighboring mother because I had informed her young daughter that she was going to hell. Much to the womans disappointment, my mother backed me up!!

Then, when I was 7 years old, I had a dream.

"I was sitting on the top bunk of my brothers bed studying with my oldest brother Shawn. Suddenly, the window across from me transformed into a door made of dark metal. As I stared in wonder, the door opened and a demonic being entered the room. It resembled a woman, but seemed neither male nor female, and was holding some sort of a blade resembling a small sickle. My brother sat there oblivious to what was happening. And then suddenly it pulled me from the bed by my hair, and it seemed it was trying to scalp me. I cried out to Shawn for help, but he just looked around the room confused. "Where are you Keri, I can't see you!". And then I was dragged through the door and all was black.

It was as if we stood at the top of a winding stone staircase that went up and down as far as the eye could see.and yet there was no top or bottom, it just seemed to go in both directions forever. And while I was aware of this, I was also aware that it was so dark that I could see nothing. My eyes saw nothing, but I knew. Then suddenly we were on what appeared to be a small landing made of black stone.The sound of screams overwhelmed me with fear. As I looked around I saw that it was a lake that surrounded us and it was on fire. The lake stretched as far and deep as my eyes could perceive.The smell was overwhelming me.It was like sulfur and burning flesh but so strong that it was as if it made up the air I breathedI wanted to throw up, but I seemed frozen in time. As I became aware of my surroundings, I realized that it was not a lake of water, but one of blood. And in the blood as deep and as far as my eyes could see, there were people.And they screamed in torment, burning, bleeding.drowning eternally in their own blood..I was terrified! And then they were reaching for me, grabbing my feet dragging me into this lake of eternal fire. In despair, I screamed out "Jesus! Save Me!!!" .And suddenly I was gone. I stood in the purest white light that I have ever beheld. I was surrounded by such peace and love. At that moment, I understood how real my salvation was..and I woke up."

I have never forgotten that dream. Nothing has ever felt as real as that.I still wonder if it was a dream, or a vision from God. Regardless, it changed my heart. I no longer thought of my salvation as just something that I did just so I could spend eternity in Heaven, but as something I did to NOT spend eternity in Hell. I chose Christ, and I was spared.

I would love to say that I stayed strong and went on to a life of ministry. But it was not the case. I began dating at 15, and a few years later I lost my purity. I began drinking and going to clubs regularly at 18, and when I was 19, I became involved in an impure relationship with a married couple. At the age of 20, I was broken. I woke up on the side of the road one morning after a night at the clubs, and realized I had hit rock bottom. As I drove home, I prayed to God and begged him for guidance. I prayed that he would send me a sign that he was still with me. I prayed he would provide a way.Less than an hour later I got a call from my best friend in ..Florida. I hadn't seen her in almost 3 years. She told me that a friend of hers was sending me a plane ticket so I could come to Florida. He didn't even know me! I took it as a sign, and went for 2 weeks. Those were 2 of the best weeks of my life! I was surrounded by Christians, going to church on Sundays, young adult group on Tuesdays, and spending every other minute of my time with young adults from the Church! And I met Jeremy. Jeremy was the man who had bought me the ticket.

When the 2 weeks was almost through, everyone was so sorry to see me go. I had become a part of the family! And so, I decided to pack up my life and move to Jacksonville, FL. I flew home, quit my jobs, and 2 weeks later Jeremy flew up to Rhode Island to drive back to Florida with me. 24 hours in a car, and you really get to know someone! I knew within days that this was the man that God had chosen to be my husband. We became inseparable, but never dated. Then in December of '98, he met another woman. After their second date he was driving home and started thinking about a future with this woman. He realized that if he pursued her, that our relationship would change. He suddenly realized that he was in Love with me! He got home, called my Dad and asked for my hand in Marriage. He proposed that New Years Eve. I was shocked, but overjoyed! We were married 6 months later. It was the most amazing spirit filled wedding I have ever seen..Everything was perfect.

And then, everything started to change.

After about a year of marriage, my husband shared with me his struggle with sexual issues. He frequently visited swinger websites, and was intrigued by the lifestyle. In an effort to put him at ease, I shared my experiences with him. He was surprised and intrigued. He wanted to go visit the couple from my teens, and foolishly I agreed. While visiting, we went to a strip club where I did amateur night. I won $500 and opened the door to the future. We were months late on our mortgage, and the bills kept piling up. Jeremy felt like the only way to get out of this hole was for me to take a job at a strip club 2 hours away from our home, just a couple nights a week. A couple turned into 4 or 5, and soon he had to quit his job just to have the time to drive me and pick me up. Then one day while searching the internet for opportunities, he came across an ad for performers in an adult film in Tampa, Florida. He said it was our only hope. In the eyes of God and my family, and anyone else, he said took responsibility as my husband and the leader of our family for my actions. I allowed him to make the decision, consumed half a bottle of Captain Morgan, and performed in my first Adult Film. I cried my heart out. I wanted to die, but I tried to keep it inside to spare Jeremy the guilt. Unfortunately, one just wasn't enough. And so began my career as an Adult Film Star.

In an effort to make money without me having to be in front of the camera, we planned a trip to New York where I had plans to dance at a high class Strip club. My first night there I was slipped a date rape drug and was raped by an unknown number of employees of the strip club. After being missing for 12 hours, I miraculously contacted the people we were staying with and was taken to the hospital for tests. Unfortunately my test results and police records were later mysteriously lost. There was nothing I could do. Fortunately for me, I don't remember much so I wasn't emotionally scarred by the rape. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,. If it wasn't me, it would have probably been another new girl. Jeremy did not take it as well. He felt so much guilt for putting me in that position. The hardest part for me was that they stole my wedding rings and my grandmother's jewelry. I have never felt so violated, and it hardened me. I went numb. I could not be Keri and the person I was playing, so I put Keri deep inside so I wouldn't feel the guilt and shame. I justified my actions by believing that Jeremy was assuming responsibility and that I was doing it for my marriage. But deep down I knew I was just fooling myself. And yet I kept on going. And it only got worse. I remember making $36,000 in 3 weeks and then not being able to pay our rent a week later. I don't know where it went. And it seemed like it was never enough. The more I made, the more our expenses went up. In order to keep going, I would ask Jeremy to give me a date of when it would all end. He kept setting timelines and and end points, and then the times would come and go. I started in the business in the summer of 2000. I was 24 years old. The final deadline for our retirement from the adult business was that I would be have a baby before Jeremy turned 30. He turned 30 July of 2004. I was not pregnant. Quite the contrary actually.

About 11 months before his 30th birthday, Jeremy told me that he felt I didn't meet his physical needs and felt that in order to meet those needs that he should have a girlfriend. I was shocked. And yet a part of me wanted to test him to see just how far he was willing to take it. I told him that he didn't meet my emotional needs and he suggested that I get a boyfriend. I was flooredAnd yet I played along just to see what he would do. And so he got a girlfriend and I got a boyfriend. And after about a month I tried to leave him for the boyfriend. Even though in my heart I knew it wasn't right, but I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to lose everything so that he could make the right decision once and for all. And he begged me to come back.He wanted to go back to Florida and start over. He wanted to leave it all behind and make things right again. He had bought 2 plane tickets to Florida and was driving to the airport as we talked. I told him if he took me home to get our dogs I would leave with him that day. And so, we drove home. I called my boyfriend and broke it off while Jeremy was inside packing. I broke his heart, and because of that, I felt that I had broke mine. But I knew I was doing the right thing. When I told Jeremy, he couldn't believe I had done it over the phone. He had planned on leaving his girlfriend a note because he couldn't bear to tell her face to face. His girlfriend lived with us. She was downstairs while all this was going on. I was shocked. In total disbelief, I told him I couldn't go with him unless he told her face to face. He begged me not to make him. And so he tried, and when she broke down in tears, he begged me not to make him choose. "I Love You both" he told me..I told him someday I would choose for him. I don't think he believed I would ever follow through.

And so the knife was driven deeper into my heart. And I became hardened and cold. But I stayed. 3 arrests (Jeremy's) and about $40,000 later I was still there. The further we were from God, the worse things became It was the most painful and humiliating year of my life. Jeremy used to always say "Let me be wrong"He didn't want me to tell him when he screwed up, he wanted to figure it out on his own and learn from his own mistakes. Yeah.I wanted him to fail. I didn't force him to do what I knew was right because I wanted him to fail by his own rules. I realize now that I was wrong for that. I hold a partial responsibility for his mistakes. I was bitter and didn't lift him up when he was too weak to stand on his own. And I knew what I was doing. But I didn't care. I didn't want to have to beg for him to choose me. I couldn't be the rock for both of us. I had been the rock for so long, and I was so beat down.

The final straw came in March of 2004. Everything that could have possible gone wrong had and more, and I was done. On June 1st of 2004 while Jeremy was out of town, I moved into my own apartment. I didn't tell him where I lived for almost 2 years, although I continued to struggle with my decision. I knew it was what was best for ME, but spiritually I could not let go. I had to have peace from God before I could really let go. I had much prayer from the women in my church, but dont know if I ever truely felt that peace....But I finally filed for divorce in March of 2006. Sadly and quite unplanned, he was served the papers on our 7 year anniversary. As for me, I had become involved with a man who was also a performer in the adult industry. From March of 2004 till March 1, 2005 I worked only with him. And yet we struggled continually due to the fact that I remained married and that he did not share my faith.

Finally on March 1, 2005 it all fell apart. I was trying to live 2 lives hoping they would each somehow work themselves out, and it just wasn't working anymore. My boyfriend (Ron) and I had a huge falling out due to a something from my past that I hadn't been completely honest about. My marriage had failed, my relationship was failing, and I had had all that I could take. I cancelled all the work that I had scheduled and quit the adult industry. That work would have meant about $15,000, but it just wasn't worth it.

And so, with $200 in the bank and rent due, I started over. Ron and I reconciled and he encouraged and supported me both emotionally and financially as I struggled to get back on my feet. I don't know how I would have survived without him.

And so began my new life. In May of 2003 I had begun competing in Figure competitions as a way of distracting myself from my life and an excuse to be in the best shape possible. In August of 2004, I took second place in the NPC National Figure Championships and achieved professional status. It was a great personal goal achieved as well as a door to a whole new career. I became certified as a personal trainer, and used my experience where it seemed best fit. My training combined with my Massage Therapy (I was licensed back in 1997 but took a break while in the business) became my life. In February of 2006 I opened my own Massage Practice while continuing to work as a Personal Trainer at a private gym. I continue to strive to further myself both personally and professionally. I have been so blessed.

My greatest blessings have been my Church, my family, and my personal relationships.

I began going to The Church at Rocky Peak in October of 2004, but wasn't really able to feel the real Peace of God until I was out of the business. In the days following my retirement I met Lynn and Neil Johnson who became my spiritual mentors and to whom I am still held accountable to this day and will probably be as long as I live. They are and always will be a blessing in my life. Through their prayers and the prayers of many others I was able to come clean with my entire family. The heaviest burden that I could ever imagine bearing was lifted from my soul, and I felt I had been reborn yet again! What great Love to forgive so much! They never judged me in any way, they just opened their arms and loved me. I was the prodigal son come home, and it was a celebration. Instead of tearing our family apart, it bonded us closer than ever. I am now held accountable by those whom I love most, and will do whatever I can to never disappoint them again. But most importantly, I am accountable to my heavenly Father, who is above all else. Without his Love and faithfulness, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I just pray that I have the strength to persevere and allow his will to be done in my life without allowing my own selfish will to get in the way.

And so my life goes on. My life is a continual work in progress, but it IS in progress!!! I just pray that God gives me the strength to allow his perfect will to be done, and the discernment to recognize it. Sometimes his perfect will is very different from my own!

But without change there is no room for growth. If it means sacrificing to allow God's perfect plan to play out, then I pray for the strength to endure.

And so begins another day in this perfect life.

In His Grace,

Keri Marie Humble