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XBiz reports AVN reports Gene Ross reports

I step out for a walk Wednesday evening and end up at the XRCO show (at the Century Club in Century City) by complete accident. I thought it was going to be a break-the-chametz-fast singles event.

It turns out it was that, along with some edgy shiksas who imparted unexpected spiritual lessons.

It's 7 p.m.

Bill Margold (who's lost over 50 pounds in the past eight months) and Anthony Petkovich (Adam Film World Editor) give me a hard time about my suit and flash shirt. Well, the shirt is Holly's fault. The bright red tie was a gift from Alexandra Silk's "Silk Ties" signing at Hustler Hollywood in early 1999. It's the only thing I've gotten from porn that I regularly wear.

Bill Margold gives me a copy of the latest LA Xpress and says his back page column is devoted to Mark Kernes:

Today's target is the muddle-headed Adult Video News reporter/regurgitator Mark Kernes, who woke up from one of those naps he takes during Free Speech Coalition board meetings, and dared to challenge me that "I would lay waste to him," with an "in your dreams" response.

Indeed, the toad-essencent Kernes, who is truly AVN's version of Flounder from Animal House...

...Indeed, it must truly rankle Sir Marksalittle that he is doomed to keep reporting history -- while I am continually making it.

I'm growing discouraged with pornography as a tool for social change.

Tara (I met her at this event a year ago and she's become a friend) from FreePornStarpix.com is in a filthy mood. She screams that Dr. X is a "pathological liar." She screams at James, this security guard at the FOXE Awards, that he sent her and everyone on his email list a virus. She screams about James Bartholet trying to kiss her. She screams at me: "I've got a problem with you for what you wrote about Holly giving out free blowjobs. That was offensive to me as a woman."

Luke: "Holly wasn't offended by it."

Then, just when I think I'll never talk to Tara again, she becomes all friendly and helpful. She's more bold than I am at approaching porn stars and asking them for their names and information. I trundle along behind her and take my awkward photos.

Tara asks Gen Padova, the first porn star to show up after Ericka Lockett, "What do you have to say about Ashley Blue saying you have fake cancer?"

I would not have had the courage to ask that question.

Gen says Ashley has been doing too many drugs.

Ashley shows up with Kahan Tusion as her date.

Steve Nelson from AINews has done 90 porn scenes.

I've been learning tips from Holly on how to bring out a woman's inner beauty. Does it shine through in my photos?

Brea Bennett shows up with McKenzie Lee and Eva Angelina and Jesse Capelli and a couple of assistants from Club Jenna but Brea has forgotten her ID and the doormen won't let her pass. The trophy girl's kept outside for an hour until her ID are retrieved from her hotel room (I believe).

I don't recognize Kinzie Kener with her big new breasts.

I interview Tylene Buck aka Brandi Wylde, who was Major Gunns in the WCW (World Championship Wrestling). Tylene entered porn in January and has done six scenes, all girl-girl.

"I enjoy being in front of the camera," she says. "I'm a total ham... I love the attention."

Before wrestling, Tylene (from Northern California) says she was a fitness model.

As kid, she wanted to grow up to be a movie star.

"I was quiet in highschool. I was a tomboy. I've done a flipflop."

Tylene says she can't be monogamous.

Lori Lust has her own personal photographer following her around. She must be the next Jenna Jameson, MILF-style.

I called McKenzie Lee Monday. She did not return my call.

"You never call me," she says Thursday night. "What was that about?"

"I was just saying hi."

"You don't say hi. What did you want to know?"

"Just about your party with Lexxi Tyler May 25."

I follow Tara to interview Stefani Morgan, who's done eleven movies. She's under contract to Vivid for three years.

Tara: "You're going to be their top girl."

Stefani laughs. "That's my plan."

I ask Stefani about what she loves and hate about porn. She says she loves getting paid for getting laid. She hates some of the artistic compromises in the medium.

Luke: "What are the artistic parts of porn?"

Stefani: "I come from a mainstream acting and modeling career. That's why I love doing feature movies. Sometimes you want a certain look and they want you to look [another] way."

Luke: "How has it affected your love life?"

Stefani: "Love is a strong word. I'm a serial dater. It is hard. When emotions get involved, guys want to back off. But I'm not looking for a relationship, so for me it's perfect."

Luke: "How many broken hearts have you left behind and do you feel any moral responsibility for what you've done?"

Stefani laughs. "I plead the fifth. I don't think of myself as a heartbreaker, but feelings get hurt along the way. I've had my heart broken and I'm sure I've broken some hearts. It comes with the territory of being a girl."

Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Stefani: "I don't know. I've always been performing one way or another my whole life. I love the entertainment world. I've always known I was going to be in it. I didn't expect but it's always been in the back of my mind. I've always been sexual since I was a child."

Luke: "How did you get into porn?"

Stefani: "I didn't know how. I dabbled with the idea for a year before I did it. Finally I took the initiative and set up an appointment at Vivid."

Luke: "How did family and friends react?"

Stefani: "I've never been close with my family. My friends were like, 'OK, I really wasn't expecting that one but I'm not surprised.' I told my family. They're supportive. I was just at my mom's earlier today. My relations with my family are better now. They accept that I do what I want to do whether they like it or not. We agreed to disagree. We don't talk about what I do. I respect the fact that they disagree with that."

Luke: "What traits turn you on in a man?"

Stefani: "Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, cocky."

Tara: "You'll love Luke."

Stefani laughs. I blush.

Stefani: "I don't really have a type. I love businessmen. I love bad boys. If you're a boy, you're a shoo-in."

I meet Lela Star, World Modeling's star.

David Clark says that in my suit I look like rocker Brian Ferry.

The ratio of people who mention seeing me on VH1 this week compared to on the cover of the LA Weekly is ten-to-one.

I snap a bunch of photos in the night without my flash until John Douglas points out what I'm doing wrong.

John (formerly of Talking Blue, I once went on a triple date with him to the Hollywood Bowl with a Jewish girl I loved, it was the summer of 2000) introduces me to his video camera (wielded by Dave Michaels) as the Senator Joe McCarthy of porn.

I'm a very private person -- modest, polite, self-effacing. I write of the quiet, contemplative playful moments in life. I eschew the sensational, and I refuse to discuss blogging in anything but the most simple, straightforward language.

When John asks me about my blogging, I'm terse and direct. "I really don't have much to say about that, because in a way I work organically. I don't have any fixed ideas about style or form. When the impulse comes and I have an idea or a perception, I let it take me wherever it will go. The form follows that."

I'm a pale cocksman -- a poet of the gentle, comic, grandfatherly demeanor and pastoral tone and setting always close to the sexual impulse. (Meaning and Memory by Gary Pacernik, p. 22)

John: "Are you well hung?"

I'm struck dumb.

John: "A lot of people say [that Luke writes bad things about porn] because he has a small wee wee. Is it an envy thing?"

Luke: "I try to carry on my dialogues on a higher level than this, John. I don't think that penis size is an appropriate conversation for the mass media."

John: "From interviewing porn stars, I've learned that whenever you ask a guy if he has a big penis and he says anything other than yes, it means he's small."

Luke: "We are dragging civilization down here. This is the type of conversation that smudges the soul of our viewers, that diminishes the human condition, that brings out what's vulgar in us rather than what's holy and noble. Why do you have to drag things into the gutter?"

John: "I'm going to put in a shot of you being paddled [by Tina Tyler] and the one where your digit was..."

Luke: "I was an actor playing a role. That was art. This is vulgarity."

John: "You love this stuff as much as the next guy. This whole thing where you look like you've been sucking on lemons, it's all been a ruse."

Luke: "I'm a commentator on the human condition. I'm uncovering what is really going on here so the authorities can better control things. I am so tapped into the FBI and federal government prosecutors for obscenity. I'm taking names and numbers. I'm here to serve the federal government and George Bush and Antonio Gonzales to get a better handle on this filth."

John: "We're dealing with the Donnie Brasco of porn."

Luke: "I'm Deep Under Cover."

John: "You don't use that DUC name anymore. You're out, right?"

Luke: "I am a servant of the truth."

John: "What is your take on the XRCO? You have the most unique take of anyone here."

Luke: "It's a friendly low-key affair of people getting together to celebrate their work and honor the best in their profession. Finally it's an opportunity for the industry to feel good about itself. The industry is so often attacked, cut down, and maligned... This along with the AVN Awards are two nights of the year that people in the industry can feel proud of what they do."

John: "We've got the Sybil of porn.

"I can never tell. Do you like this industry or not?"

Luke: "I have the full range of human of emotions towards it."

John: "Are you attracted to women who are completely skeezed out by porn?"

Luke: "Yes."

John: "How do your ex-girlfriends who get crucified on your site not just shoot you? These women must have the thickest skin in the world."

Luke: "Holly Randall has the thickest skin of any woman I've known. No other woman would permit me to write about her [as she does]. But I don't write about other exes.

"Kendra Jade also has a thick skin, but Holly is incredible, not that I miss her."

John: "You've beaten her up in word and over the phone. Are you concerned about running into her in person?"

Luke: "No. I had lunch with her Monday. If she has a problem with anything I say or do, she lets me know. I run things by her all the time to see if what I'm writing is OK with her. Everything she has asked me to remove from my site I have. Everything I have on my site about her is with her tacit permission."

John: "So women who are [concerned] about what you write about them should date you, have sex with you and then dump you?"

Luke: "Holly's something special so I treat her differently. I couldn't date 99.9% of women in this industry."

John: "Is she coming tonight?"

Luke: "No. She's not an industry partier. Of course she could get in, but this isn't her scene."

John: "When people see you, do they still have same reaction [of fear] that they used to?"

Luke: "Not as much."

John: "Do you miss instilling fear in people?"

Luke: "Sure."

John: "They took you down a few notches."

Luke: "Yeah. I'm not what I once was. But then again, who is?"

John: "How are you going to celebrate your 40th birthday?"

Luke: "I have no plans. Birthdays are not significant to me. I look forward to growing older for I will grow in wisdom. Holly offered to throw me a big party but I don't need that. To me it's all about the work."

AVN's Heidi Joy Pike initiates our first conversation. It's friendly and lasts about a minute.

I nudge Mike Ramone about not blogging against God this week. He says he's been busy.

Randy Spears's wife Delia only does girls on camera.

The three main hosts are Stormy Daniels, Frank Bukkwyd and Lauren Phoenix.

When Lauren walks into the club, she doesn't want any pictures taken because she's not dressed up, her hair isn't done, and doesn't appear to have any make-up on.

I ask Mika Tan what happened to her all-asian men hetero movie. She says she paid her editor in advance and then he did no work. So she just found a new editor.

Michael Raven comes by with his new girlfriend (after three divorces). "I took your advice about getting a civilian," he says.

After the awards, Anthony Petkovich (Editor of Adam Film World) introduces me to Francesca Le, 35, and as beautiful a woman as I've ever met.

She operates LeWood Productions with her husband Mark Wood.

Francesca does about five movies a year for her own company. She started in porn in 1990 and worked for three years.

"After three years it wasn't fun for me, so I left."

For the next eight years, she did wrestling, fetish modeling, bondage, stripping, etc. Anything but sex. She went to work for Extreme Associates in sale in 2001 and lasted a year before returning to performing.

Luke: "Why?"

Francesca: "We launched our own company."

She met her hubby Mark Wood in 2002.

Luke: "How did you find the industry had changed?"

Francesca: "Scary. I don't know if it is for the best. The girls are lazy. It's very robotic. People are in the business for fame and fortune and not for fun. In the early nineties, we were ----ing everybody for free. It was fun.

"Everybody wants to be the next Jenna. There's not going to be another Jenna.

"People today don't want to work. It's no fun for anybody.

"In the early nineties, we did all features. We were on twelve hour sets. You were doing a three hour anal scene."

Luke: "What do you love and what do you hate about the industry you are a part of?"

Francesca: "I hate the astronomical rates we pay. I love the freedom and the nice people I meet. They're doing it because they're freaky and they want to have a good time."

Luke: "How do you reflect on how it's affected your life?"

Francesca: "It's affected my life wonderfully."

Mike Ramone comes over and playfully warns her about me. "What's he asking you?" he says.

Francesca: "He's asking me in-depth questions, the kind that AVN doesn't ask me. He gets to the core of my soul."

She laughs. "I have a good life. I'm married to a man who's open. We have a sexually free relationship."

Luke: "In the civilian world?"

Francesca: "I try not to say. I'm quiet. I live a quiet life.

"We shoot at our house while the neighbors hold Bible studies."

Francesca says she stopped doing drugs at 25.

She says the talent has changed. "It used to be you had to be a certain class of girl, like me, Nikki Dial... We were up against Victoria Paris, Ashlyn Gere, Savannah, Racquel Darrian, Christy Canyon. Porn now, I don't know why they want the girl next door. I want my porn girls to be porn stars. Big hair. Nice taut bodies.

"When they opened the door to the girl next door, to the teen phenomenon, they let girls come in who would never have worked [in the early nineties]. They're more sloppy."

Luke: "More tattooed and pierced."

Francesca agrees. "And braces. I look at them and think, 'What makes you think you can do porn? I don't know who told you you can do porn, but OK."

Luke: "What were the rates you were charging in 1992?"

Francesca: "$300-$400 for a boy-girl scene. Anal was about $500. [Now it's more than double that.]"

A friend asks me Friday: "What was the deal with people being so out of it, they couldn't even get on stage to collect their awards?"

A friend says: "Katja Kassin was there with her family but she missed her award by 15-minutes. Hillary Scott missed her award because she was on set. Scott Nails didn't even come until the end of the show. Leah Luv seemed drunk. The only talent that actually seemed alert was Ariana Jollee. She went up to the stage when her name was called. Everyone else was either blotto, or not there."

A friend says: "If someone isn't there without a good reason, they ought to just give it to the next highest vote getter. Hailey Paige won unsung siren, but wasn't there. Three other nominees were there -- Gen Padova, Mika Tan, and Kimberly Kane. One of them should have been give it."

During the awards, I feel like I'm a Jew in Spain in 1492. "The shrieks and outcries of the women, together with the piteous supplications of the men, might, one would think, have softened the most savage hearts into pity; but the actors in this horrid scene were so divested of humanity that they spared neither sex nor age, but wreaked their fury on all without distinction; so that above five hundreds Jews were either killed or burnt that day." (The Jew in the Medieval World, Jacob Rader Marcus, p. 66)

Lynne Lemay flashes.

Nobody seems disturbed, or even ill at ease, by how far they are from God.

I wish I was burnt at the stake or crucified on a cross for my religious beliefs. Instead, I'm simply hurt that Monstar has not added me as his MySpace friend. After the awards, I confront him with my feelings. "Why not?" I demand through my tears.

Monstar: "Because of your whole song and dance, standing on your soapbox, waving your flag, saying, 'I don't add porn stars on MySpace as friends.' Comparing them to drug dealers?"

Luke: "Yes." [But I meant for my personal MySpace page, because the kids of friends of mine look at that, I'm down with adding porn stars to my professional page.]

Monstar: "Now you want to be their friend?"

Bloke: "He never said he wanted to be their friend."

Monstar: "You want to add them as your friend on MySpace. You buckle like a belt."

Monstar doesn't even want me to take pictures of him. The magic has gone out of our relationship.

Ava Rose has been in porn four months and done 40 scenes.

It's the most subdued XRCO I've attended (and seems like the smallest turnout).

"I'm an award-winning whore," proclaims Hillary Scott.

"Everybody knows how bad your pictures are," says Morbid Thoughts, "but they still pose for you anyway in the delusion you might get it right."

Bill Margold took Jim Holliday's job of haranguing the crowd to get quiet so various porners can be inducted into the Hall of Fame. But why should the crowd quiet if only one of the inductees bothers to show?

I leave at 11:25 p.m.

Afterwards, I email Heidi Joy Pike, Senior Associate Editor at Adult Video News, and XRCO trophy girl (along with Brea Bennett):

> How was your experience of this year's XRCO Awards?

It was wonderful. I had a lovely time.

> Did you ever regret becoming trophy girl?

No regrets at all. I really appreciate being given that life experience.

> What did you learn from the experience (being dragged through the internet gossip etc)?

I learned to not care so much about people who obviously didn't care about me.

> Now that you've done it, you've concluded?

Standing up and being present is always a good thing.

Morbid Thoughts Photographs XRCO

He writes on ADT:

I figured I should go see an awards I had helped voted on. Would I do it again? Probably not. It was more a party with the awards being ancillary. There was a fist fight, lots of drama and sniping, and a whole bunch of general drunkenness.

The place was supposed to be limited to industry but anybody could've gone in as security was only checking for IDs. There were terrible acoustics in the place so unless you were next to the stage you couldn't hear a damn thing and that's why people didn't know they had won. I couldn't see much either in the dark (but that's not their fault).

The stage was kind of small, so many times it got crowded especially with three hosts, two heart-on girls, and multiple presenters.

The crowd didn't really know what was going on nor did they care most of the time. I watched some of the pornorazzis at work and was put off by some of their antics... although I did meet some nice ones. I wasn't as aggressive in asking people to pose in that I consider it rude to interrupt people in the middle of conversations, expect them to show skin, or dominate their time.

There was an upstairs area where the media could congregate so they could do whatever they need to do with the girls and I stumbled upon it looking for my friend. Security didn't let me through but I managed to motion her out to their disappointment. I wasn't thrilled to find out later that someone had roofied her.