Actor John Goodman Visits Porn Star Karaoke
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John Goodman had a few drinks, sang a few songs, and while he was leaving at 10:40 p.m. and complained that people were rude, that there weren't any porn stars, and that "there were no pharmaceuticals."
Early in the night, I walked up to him and told him that a friend just told me today that I was like his character Donny in The Big Lebowski. He was a few sheets to the wind and didn't give a damn.
Well, considering he played Walter (In a Best Supporting Actor-worthy performance, I should add Academy snobs!) in the The Big Lebowski, and Donny was played by Steve Buscemi, I can kinda see why he didn't give a damn.
Of course, this opens up a whole new debate about what Luke's friend was trying to imply...was he comparing him to the irritating, no-account little pussy so often dismissed with a terse 'Shut the ---- up Donny!', or to the 'Nam-obsessed, abrasive converted Jew Walter, who is thoroughly pussywhipped by his ex? The mind boggles. Jon Turturro stole that movie anyhow.
Michelle sings a song I've never heard before but I love it -- Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You."
I've become a big fan of American Idol's Kelly Clarkson. I love her song "Since U Been Gone":
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get,
I get what I wantSince you been gone
You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
I run into Eve at 10 p.m. and feel happy. I take her outside for a heart-to-heart.
"How come you spell and punctuate correctly?" I ask.
"English and literature were my favorite classes," she says. "I had a hard time staying awake in math and science."
"Me too."
"The only time I liked science was when we got to light things on fire."
Quincy says he saw Eve at the New Sensations party (11/12/05).
"Everybody says that," she responds. "I don't remember going."
I was there and I don't remember seeing her.
Tara from FreePornStarPix.com says she was invited to appear on black rapper Flavor Flav's VH1 show. She was not honored. She says Flava is a drug addict without enough class to hide his problems.
"He's a crackhead," she says. "I can't stand that. If you are going to be a druggie, be classy. A few swipes of the nose are OK, but don't be all cracking out."
"I feel you," I reply.
Eve says she was also asked to appear on the show. She auditioned because VH1 was right next to the Santa Monica DMV. They pay only $150 a day. "Not your DP rate," said someone at VH1 to her.
"They give you stacks of paperwork," Eve remembers. "Have you ever been arrested? Have you ever been in a fight? All this drama. I write in big bold letters, 'No.'"
Tara says she's never been arrested either.
Eve: "I had to make an audition tape about why Flavor should go out with me and why he should accept me on his show. 'Oh, because he has such good fashion sense with the clock and the horn hat. Oh, and I'm really good at stroking his ego.'"
Quincy says U2 is the closest I've gotten to rap music.
Tara yells at Ryan for allowing me to take photos of him smoking pot outside World Modeling. "It made you look like a drug addict. It made you look unstable. Say something Ryan."
Ryan's silenced and overwhelmed by her aggressiveness.
Then he says: "I thought we were friends."
They hug it out.
Tara says some guy from London wants to hook up with her when he visits Los Angeles.
"I am not a toy," she says. "Last summer yes, when I lost weight and looked beautiful and wore size nine. I would be a size nine now if I wasn't drinking so much."
Luke: "Why are you drinking so much?"
Tara: "Anxiety, I guess."
Luke: "Do you think that's a healthy way to deal?"
Tara: "No. I've had about four bottles of Chardonay over the past week. I've been eating a lot less. Right now I'm really bloated and wearing my size twelve jeans. But I don't care."
Eve likes to drink, but not heavily, not usually. She recently switched to lite beer.
John Good man walks out.
Tara screams: "Is that John Goodman?"
She runs up to him with Eve and gushes that he shouldn't leave.
"The people are rude," John explains, his breath reeking of alcohol, "it's crowded, there are no porn stars and no pharmaceuticals."
Tara says he should just get dinner and then come back. The babes will be here after 11 p.m. She takes his picture.
She tries to give him a pen with her website address on it. "This is my website. You should check it out. You can read the porn news and you can see where the babes are going to be."
He's not interested so she gives it to his minder.
Tara says later: "He has a drug problem. It's well documented. He can't get insured on movie sets because of his health problems.
"He's drunk. It's not even 11 p.m. And it's Tuesday.
"My first exposure to him was in the Campbell Soup commercials where he was dressed like a lumberjack and seemed like a nice guy. Now he's an old drunk looking for pharmaceuticals."
11 p.m. Kurt walks out with his date Kitten. The waitress runs out and gives him his wallet.
Eve Mayfair talks to Ryan Knox for the first time (they've exchanged messages on MySpace). She says she has two tattoos -- one on her lower back and one on her outer thigh. Ryan wants to see the latter. She pulls down her pants.
"Ooops," she says. "I'm not wearing any panties."
The porn stars at Sardo's weekly porn star karaoke were entirely upstaged by drunken actor John Goodman, who is best known for playing Dan Connor on the tv show 'Roseanne'. I encountered him staggering out the bar along with a minder.
See all the photos from this week's event including one of Mr. Goodman.
3/13/06
Holly's Hebrew Hammer Visits World Modeling Monday
Jim South Jr Ryan Knox, Jim South Jr Ryan Knox Ryan Knox Jim Jr
I walk in at 2:30 pm.
Jim South is on the phone with Latina ingenue Samantha South, 19. "I know things happen," Jim says. "But you have to be responsible. Your cell phone is no good. Is there a number where you are staying?"
Jim has work booked for her for the next few days but the snow this weekend threw her off-schedule. Then she lost her cell phone. Then she took a hotel in Hollywood "because there were no rooms in the Valley."
Ryan Knox says "2009 is going to be big for Ryan Knox."
He says he has a civilian girlfriend who works in mainstream entertainment and is OK with Ryan's Adult work. "It's a win-win situation."
Luke: "I understand why it's a win for you, but how is it a win for her?"
Ryan: "I mean it's a win-win situation for me."
Jim: "I'm not going to scream at you. Can you still shoot Wednesday?"
Junior gets an email from a prospective male talent (Swiss Balls) that includes photos of the guy making it was an ex-lover of Junior's Kody Coxxx aka Honey.
Luke: "How does that make you feel to see pictures of this guy with his hands [on her]?"
Junior: "They deserve each other."
Earlier Monday, Ericka Lockett came in and complained that everyone was grabbing her boobs and molesting her. Before she left, she grabbed Junior's head and rubbed it between her breasts.
"I'm not a piece of meat," says Junior.
Alex from MTV's Jackass show calls. He wants a superfat girl to sit on a midget.
Jim: "I can't find any fat girls."
Junior: "I yanked them off the site."
Jim: "When Rob Spallone was here, we'd get blimps coming to the office and Rob would give them work."
Jim's throwing around the f-word. It throws me. Normally Jim is a clean-spoken man. What kind of world do we live in where the legend of porn talent agents uses profanity?
Jim gives fatherly advice to Samantha: "You really need to be in the Valley. Why did you get a room in Hollywood?"
Junior: "Samantha South was supposed to be down here this morning for a shoot."
Ryan Knox and Junior step outside and smoke the peace pipe.
Luke to Junior: How can you have your lips on the same pipe that Ryan's sucked on?
Neither are phased by this lip-to-lip embrace where the pipe is but an excuse for intimacy.
Is this homoerotic a result of Brokeback Mountain or is it inherent to the use of illegal mind-altering substances?
All these people I know, some of them intimately, who bond over pot.
Now that Holly is gone from my life, I want her to be with Ryan Knox (if his civilian girlfriend doesn't mind). They share pot and stuff in common. I fantasize about them passing the peace pipe back and forth. Mmm. V. hot.
Junior breathes out an illegal cloud. "Gotta go," he chokes. "The phone's ringing."
His commitment to duty is admirable.
Jim Sr. is not interested in smoking dope. "There's a reason they call it dope," he says.
Jim tells Rick Davis: "Ricky, I love you like a son, but you're asking for trouble when you set a call time that early (7:30 a.m.). You'll have to send someone to pick her up at 6:30 a.m."
Jim loses his connection to a porner on a cell phone.
Jim hangs up. "I hate cell phones," he says. "I'm going to start up a gossip column, make a lot of money and retire."
Jim talks to a bureaucrat in Sacramento about his agency bond and license. Jim gets his lawyer to join in the conversation. They work things out.
I hear Junior calling a girl and letting her know that Holly and Suze Randall want her to stop by for test shots.
Junior's chatting over the computer with Hailey Young, who has a nasty cold. Hailey says she's too sick to go in for test shots for Holly Tuesday.
World Modeling displays a photo of Kelsey Michaels on the wall (along with 50 others). She called a few weeks ago to re-sign with them. They told her to repay the money she owed them. They have not heard from her since.
Jim says about Lela Star: "She's backed off the interracial and the A."
Junior gets an email from a model (Francine from New Jersey) stuck in Africa. The model sent her check to her New Jersey boyfriend to cash. She says he absconded with the money. Now she can't pay her hotel bill. Will World Modeling help her out? If they will, she offers to work for World Modeling and to stay with Junior and take care of him. I wonder what that implies?
Jim and Junior say no dice.
I look at her MySpace profile. She seems hot. Poor lost white girl in dark Africa.
Jim complains that FilmLAInc, the new film permit office, is taking forever to get back to him to issue shooting permits.
When Jim gets someone from the permit office to call him back, Jim says to him: "God bless you, my son."
Junior says he's uploaded Lori Lust's new shots. "They're sizzling hot, she says," notes Junior.
Lori calls up to complain that Jim has not gotten her work. Jim says to tell her to get another agent if she's not happy.
Bethany Sweet cancelled a week's worth of shoots to appear unpaid on the Jerry Springer show (cable version) with Bill Margold and another girl.
Jack writes: "World Modeling is incredibly good at taking the worst possible shots of their models. I remember they made Tylar Jacobs look hideous, and she's an incredibly beautiful girl and a Penthouse Pet."
Les responds: "Believe me, that's the way it should be everywhere. I got screwed once by Hal Guthu of his long gone agency. I went in person in L.A. and chose a girl in his book. The girls all had the same 4 studio shots...the size of 3 post stamps. I hired one. The shooting day, she arrives on location (Santa Barbara). Jeezzz! Never in my life would I have hired that girl if I would have seen her in person.Worst, she was 23 Y.O. and had a 6 years old daughter. From her pregnancy,she had horrible strech marks on her belly. The shooting has been a nightmare. At least at World Modeling, what you see is what you get!"
5 p.m. Junior looks at me with sympathy. "Your biggest scoop was me smoking pot with Ryan. Sorry to disappoint you. I'll have to bring some heroin next time."
