Tom Sizemore Interview
Gail Harris introduced me to him at Hustler Hollywood Thursday night, October 20, 2005.
Van Styles, Joanna Angel Van, Joanna Joanna's GF Dana DeArmond Dana Joanna Dana Harris Dana Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Violet Blue, Xeni Jardin Violet, Xeni Carly Milne, Nina Hartley, Dana Harris, Joanna Angel Violet, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana, Joanna Theresa Flynt, Violet Blue, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Theresa, Violet Blue, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Theresa, Violet, woman, Carly Violet, woman, Carly, Nina Carly, Nina, Dana Woman, Carly, Nina, Dana, Joanna Violet, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Theresa, Violet, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Adam Grayson has a clean HIV test Aly Drummond, Gail Harris Aly, Gail Regina Lynn Angel Cassidey Angel Angel Katie Smith Holly Randall, Carly pic Danny, co-owner of Wanted List, with civilian girl Danny, girl Danny, girl Tristan Taormino in the middle of the gang Tom Sizemore looks at his own movie Tom Sizemore Tom Sizemore Tom Sizemore Tom Sizemore Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Aly Drummond, Tom Sizemore, Gail Harris Tom Sizemore, Austyn Moore Austyn Moore, Tom Sizemore Austyn Moore, Tom Sizemore Austyn Moore, Tom Sizemore Austyn Moore, Tom Sizemore Austyn Moore, Tom Sizemore Austyn Moore, Tom Sizemore Tom Sizemore, Holly Randall Tom Sizemore, Holly Randall Tom Sizemore, Holly Randall Tom Sizemore, Holly Randall Tom Sizemore, Holly Randall Austyn Moore Austyn Austyn Austyn Austyn Katie Smith Alexandra Silk Alexandra Van Styles, Adam Grayson, Joanna Angel Van, Adam, Joanna Van, Adam, Joanna Adam, Joanna Publicist Sean Carney, boyfriend Gram Ponante, friend JBM thread GFY Holly's Naked Ambition Pics
Gram Ponante writes: "That is the best picture of me I have ever seen on your site or any other. Holly Randall is a genius. It is erotic but also female-positive and empowering. May I steal it?"
I arrive at Hustler Hollywood at 7pm. The first person I see is Variety reporter and contributor to Naked Ambition, Dana Harris.
"Hi Dana," I say.
She doesn't respond.
"Here's trouble," says Carly Milne.
I look for friendly faces. Carly is busy. I see Joanna Angel, who flew in for the event and is flying out Friday.
Eon McKai called me late Thursday on Joanna's behalf, asking me to come to tonight's show. I immediately called Joanna. She asked me to just write about her tonight.
Joanna introduces me to her roommate in LA, fellow model and porn girl Dana DeArmond. Dana was one of the first girls to appear naked on Joanna's site BurningAngel.com. Dana is doing a female domination video Friday, strapping it on and taking it to a guy.
Dana is Joanna's new best female friend in LA. Joanna crashes at Dana's place.
Dana grew up in Orlando. Her parents wanted her to have the option of going to college. She went for a semester and hated it. She became a stripper at 18.
Luke: "Did your parents want you to become a stripper?"
Dana: "They wanted me to be happy."
Her friends started taking photos of her naked. The rest is porn history.
Joanna says she stopped taking speed "a little while ago." She won't be exact.
Aly Drummond looks happier now that she's out of AVN and working with Rick Muenyong (TheBestPorn.com).
I talk to Xeni Jardin and Violet Blue. I asked Xeni how long they've known each other.
"A while," says Xeni.
"You're so mysterious," I reply.
"Around you you have to be," she says.
Carly is the first reader. She says the porn industry forced her to grow "spiritually."
Whenever a secular person uses the word "spiritual," I usually assume that they want the benefits of organized religion without paying that price.
Carly says she entered porn because she believed in the teaching that you should pursue what you fear.
Public readings are rarely compelling. It's much more interesting when someone gets up and talks to you.
From what I heard, the best chapters come from Violet Blue, Dana Harris, Joanna Angel (who got the biggest laughs) and Holly Randall (she has a degree in English Literature from UCLA).
I estimate there are a hundred people in the crowd.
Violet Blue the San Francisco writer (not Violet Blue the porn star) says she's been a "professional" porn reviewer for eight years and a pistol-packing machine artist for ten years, producing the most dangerous shows on earth, most of them illegal.
Violet says she had a big fight with a female editor at AVN (Heidi Pike-Johnson?) about Violet's prospective book on porn movies. The editor told her to remove everything in the book addressed to the female audience.
Katie Smith, a marketer for Playboy, didn't want to speak. She reluctantly gets up at Carly's invitation. She tells us not to expect anything good from her. Her body language screams that she doesn't want to be doing this.
Then Katie delivers an excruciating Horatio Alger-style tale of her progress through porn, her every career triumph. It's typical business biography stuff and completely lacking in wit.
The most entertaining parts of the evening are when the speakers share their disappointments and failures, and the most boring are when they list their credits and triumphs. I tired many years ago of hearing from porners how much more sexually evolved they are than regular folks.
Dana Harris (a tall slender journalist of a dozen years) recalls going out one night in Cannes (circa 1995) with the Wicked crew and how Mickey G got her on to the dance floor and tried to grind her. Dana fled for her drink and later told friends that porners were vampires.
A female webmaster says that through phone sex work she learned to accept the feces-eating fetish.
I feel no joy in hearing about the sex lives and fantasies of women I have no interest in sleeping with (the overwhelming majority of the readers).
Gail Harris rescues me two-thirds of the way through the reading. She invites me to take some photos of Tom.
Tom turns out to be Tom Sizemore. He's standing with Jason Tucker, his manager. We're joined by Gail and Aly.
Tom says he spent $234,000 at Hustler Hollywood last year.
I take some photos of him. He asks me to play them back on my camera and he has me delete a couple he doesn't like.
Luke: "How has this [porn] tape affected your life?"
Tom: "Hmm. The fortunate thing..."
Tom turns to Aly Drummond. "How would you say this without being crude?"
Aly: "You can be crude to Luke."
Tom: "Could you do this for me?"
Aly: "Sure. It makes him really popular with the ladies."
Tom: "Because..."
Aly: "He has a massive penis. A big cock."
Tom: "Anyways, it can't be bad for me. Can it?"
Luke: "Have you lost any friends over it?"
Tom laughs.
Aly: "It depends on one's definition of friend."
Tom laughs. "It really does depend on one's definition of friend. I've gained a lot of friends. I've gained a lot of ends too."
Aly: "A lot of girls want to be friends all of a sudden."
Tom: "I like girls a lot. They're pretty. Cute. They smell good. I don't want to hang out with anyone with a dick anyway. I've got a dick."
Luke: "What kind of frame of mind were you in when you were doing all these?"
Tom: "Ecstatic. Curious. Put under that.
"I was also trying to figure out people's names. Just kidding.
"They were lovely girls. I knew these girls real well. I lived with them. In all seriousness. It's just one night. I was going through a lot of hell with these court cases.
"And by the way... I don't want to spring it on the world. I'm not gonna. Things are going much better.
"Three of the girls in there had lived with me for two years. It wasn't as if it was some type of carnal experience. These were girls I had relationships with in, what do you call that?, an experimental type of situation. It came to an end. It had to because I fell in love with somebody. At the time, it was a lot of fun."
Luke: "How have your peers in Hollywood reacted to you about this [porn tape]?"
Tom: "I don't, frankly, give a f---. But they all like it. In all seriousness."
Jason Tucker: "We had one director call up. He was concerned about it. He made his way watch the video. She came out with a big smile and it was fine."
Tom: "That's exactly true. He was kinda concerned. Then she came out with a big smile and f----- the s--- out of him and he hired me. That's a true story. You keep saying right, right, right, and I'm telling you the truth. I'm doing two big movies right away. And I'm doing a show with VH1. It hasn't affected my career at all.
"Do you know what affected my career? That stupid f---ing bitch [Heidi] Fleiss. She affected my career. And she couldn't even f--- worth a s---. And not the one you're thinking of. Not Heidi Fleiss. Heidi Nice. I can't help it."
He turns to Jason: "What's her name? Heidi Ice?"
Luke: "What caused you to?"
Tom: "Go with Heidi? Everything that was behind her. Not her ass.
"I love Heidi. I think. I was very lonely when I met Heidi. It was a bad time in my life. I had a really nice time with her. I didn't think it was that acrimonious a separation. She obviously thought it was that acrimonious separation. She was extremely vindictive. Goddamnit, Jason, tell him what's going on."
Jason: "We just found out today that the writ of Habeas Corpus was signed off on and in 45-days, the time of the hearing, everything is going to be reversed."
Tom: "Absolutely reversed."
Jason: "He's going to be found innocent [of charges he beat Heidi]."
Tom: "I don't know if you know what a writ of Habeas Corpus is?"
Luke: "You have to be read the charges against you."
Tom: "It's a pre-appeal. That's the Miranda rights. Your attorney, if he does an appeal, brings out points in things you've been convicted of, that he takes issues with, and brings in facts. A witness, a plastic surgeon, was missed by my other attorney. The judge wrote that if you can produce this plastic surgeon, then I will reverse the conviction on this. Well, we have produced these people and he has decided to..."
Jason: "Reverse the conviction."
Tom: "Period. The end. We're very excited about that. It's official. It's not going to be publicly official for 45-60 days, which will then mean this: 'I didn't do anything wrong.'"
Luke: "Right."
Tom: "Hang on a second. This is very important. Don't interrupt me. This means she fabricated evidence. Which means she committed perjury. Now perjury is the most important law in the goddamned country. The oath goes like this, 'I solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.'
"If you are allowed to say that and then get up on that stand and tell anything but the truth and bulls--- and lie and fabricate and all that s---, then the whole goddamn system falls in on itself and the building falls down and we should go home.
"Our whole criminal justice system is built upon one principle -- that you tell the truth. We have proven and it will become public, and it will become public in a big f---ing way, that this bitch lied.
"What did she do to me? I lost $14 million. I lost my house. My siblings had to drop out of college. I was homeless. I was living in a garage where the former tenant was a car. I made it livable. All because of three letters and three words: '9-1-1. He hit me.'
"Fourteen months ago, I never seen that bag of bones bitch. A. B. No hospital visits. No one ever saw anything. No one ever heard anything. No family member said she ever complained about anything. Absolutely no evidence and an overzealous prosecutor who's stupider than an average cocksucker, I've heard.
"I didn't do it. It will be publicly announced I didn't do it. Well, where's all my s---? And where's the three years and six months of f---ing mental torture they put me through.
"When I was arrested, I was making a quarter-of-a-million dollars a week on [the TV show] Robbery Homicide Division. I worked my ass off to get there. I was getting five million dollars for a f---ing movie. Those days were over for a while but they're coming back. And you know why? Because I want them to. I decide when it's over.
"I told those motherf---ers from the beginning, and I'm sorry to be so graphic, don't do this to me. I didn't do it. I will fight you till the end of time. I will spend every goddamned nickle I have and I did to defend my goddamned good name. Because I can not live with 'Tom Sizemore, convicted batterer.' Because it simply was not true.
"If it were true, all they had to do was produce Tara Dabrizi, the woman Heidi Fleiss claimed too the photograph of her on April 13, 2003, when she claimed that on April 9th, I did these things to her. There were three other times when she claimed I did things to her, things I was found not guilty of.
"They can't produce Tera Dabrizi because she doesn't exist. I spent $1.7 million looking for this woman. There isn't one. Then I took the photograph they used at trial and guess what? It's not an original.
"It took me three years and change to undo what took her ten seconds to do to me.
"Who is accountable for what happened to me? Obviously she's part of it. But isn't it the authorities? Isn't it their due diligence, and just for your readers, porno is the bomb. I like porno a lot. I like sex. If you don't like sex, you should go see a f---ing doctor. Sex is the way people get here. If you don't like f---ing, don't do it then. If you don't like to watch f---ing, watch someone else f---. If you don't like watching me f---, turn it off.
"OK, enough about that. Sex is easy. Sex is the bomb. Sex is fun. By virtue of that you make people by having sex, it can't be wrong.
"The porno is about me hanging out with the girls I was hanging out with at the time, having a lot of fun, messing around, passing the time in a pleasant way.
"But to the issue at hand. Why she did this to me was that porno. Not that porno, but my lifestyle. It was a lifestyle I had before I met her. It was a lifestyle I had after I met her. She, like a lot of people in life, men and women, meet someone, they fall for them, and they go, 'I'm going to make this person change.'"
Aly blows her nose.
Tom: "God darn it, what are you doing?
"These are my pals. Is there something stupid you wanted to say? Is that why you dropped in?
"When that person doesn't change for them, even though I was extremely fond of [Heidi Fleiss], I was straight up with her. I don't lie about sex. I used to. I'm being straight up with you. I used to say, 'I'm going to be this. I'm going to be faithful.' I never said that [to Heidi].
"When things became a little goofy in the relationship, and things became unpleasant, and we were having problems, I've learned from having been married, I'm 42, I'm not a child, that when things start to go wrong, there's a period when you can try to fix it, but you know what I mean, when things are not working, you should get out of it. Both parties should get out of it because you are wasting each other's time. You're just going to cause each other pain. And you may really love the other person but this doesn't work. It's a completely saddening situation. That was the situation with Heidi and me.
"So I said, 'You know what? It's over.' I don't think she was used to that.
"Think about her boyfriends. Ivan Nagy. He's 35-years older than her. Bernie Cornfeld, the first boyfriend. He was 40-years older. Then me."
Luke: "What attracted you to her in the first place?"
Tom: "I've liked her."
Luke: "What about her?"
Tom: "She's very charming. She can be very charming. I know Heidi in a way nobody else knows. Heidi and I were best friends and lovers. It was after prison, after she had been chastened by this whole horrible experience... I thought she was very harshly dealt with. I think that what the criminal justice system did to her was approximately as unfair as what they tried to do to me. But they can't do it to me, motherf---ers, because I didn't do it.
"Now Heidi did engage in certain things that should be legal. But where were the other girls? Why didn't they get in trouble? What about all the johns? Heidi didn't do it all by herself. She didn't stand by the streetcorner? She was in her house and girls called and said, 'I want to f--- for money,' and guys called and said, 'I want to pay for it.'
"Heidi was publicly excoriated and she didn't deserve it.
"When she got out of jail, I started to go around with her because she was so down. She lived with a big W on her chest. She lost three years of her life. She lost all her money. I was just trying to make her feel good. We used to go get icecream together, go for walks.
"You don't pick who you fall in love with. One day at Cherry Garcia, we were walking by Gower, and I turned to her and went, 'I love you.' She said, 'I love you too.' We were living together a month later. We had a lovely time in the beginning and then it didn't work, like a lot of relationships."
Luke: "Do you think you're attracted to people who can hurt you?"
Tom: "No, because she's the only person who has hurt me in that respect. I've been hurt in relationships before but not like that.
"I was incredibly good to her. I would never have done anything to harm her. I don't feel [negative] towards her. I don't think that what happened to me was unjust as much as a mistake. When she called and said, 'He's done X, Y, Z...' I hadn't seen her for nine months. Well, I'd seen her a couple of times in the previous months because she had threatened to do that. I had met with her and said, 'Why are you doing this? What do you want?' It wasn't money so much. She wanted me back. The one thing I couldn't give her was me."
Gail Harris comes up to Tom with Adam & Eve contract girl Austyn Moore: "You complain I never introduce you to girls. Tom, this is Austyn. Austyn, this is Tom."
Tom to Gail: "Give me a second. I'm not done here."
He turns back to me. "Once she called the police and got the ball rolling, there was no stopping it. With her or without her, they would come after me. Why? I don't know. I have my ideas. I think Robert Shaw, the prosecutor, is a C-student who wants to be on TV. He's a knucklehead. He thinks that going on TV will give his life meaning. What will give his life meaning will be to have his ass kicked for doing this to me and he has to explain to somebody why he didn't authenticate the picture.
"He thought he was going after a celebrity tough guy. I'm not a tough guy. I'm an actor. I pretend for a living. He's a halfwit."
Gail interrupts. Tom tells her to hold on a minute. Austyn's getting antsy to go.
Tom talks to her. I snap some photos.
Tom: "How old are you? Because I'm 19."
Austyn giggles: "How old do you want me to be?"
Tom returns asks me my name.
Tom looks at my pictures of him and Austyn: "I heard he was good. These are good ones, Luke."
Jason: "Luke's bookmarked. When I wake up in the morning, that's one of the places I go."
Tom: "I don't like the one where I look like I have a pair of titties. I don't need that.
"They're really good pictures, Luke. I gave you a lot on that interview.
"I don't think Heidi wanted to testify, but there were pressures from the powers that be that wanted her to testify."
Luke: "Which powers?"
Tom: "Who do you think? Shaw. The C-student. He's an average mediocre cocksucker. His IQ couldn't fit in a thimble.
"Can I get sued for that? Run that back."
Luke: "Hi Holly. Holly, do you know Tom Sizemore? Tom, do you know Holly Randall? She's the daughter of Suze Randall."
I take photos of them.
Tom: "You've got to run that back. I can't say all that s--- about Robert Shaw."
Luke: "Yes you can. It's constitutionally protected free speech."
Tom: "Bulls---."
Tom tells Holly: "He thinks I'm dumb."
Holly: "He thinks everyone's dumb. Welcome to the club."
Tom: "Welcome to the dumb club?
"Tell your mother that I am a very big fan of her's. She's wonderful."
Tom says goodbye to Holly and turns to me. "Let me hear the last part."
Luke: "It was an opinion. It can't damage you."
Tom: "Yeah, right."
Luke: "Why did you decide to trust Jason Tucker with this deal?"
Tom: "He's an old friend. He helped me out when I had lost everything.
"Someone call my girlfriend and tell her I'm not here.
"What the authorities do to Heidi, I don't care. I'm the one guy I know who could've endured this. They raided my house over 20 odd times with machine guns. They knocked my door down. I lost my house. I lost my money. But I'm the toughest motherf---er you're ever going to meet and that's the goddamn f---ing truth. If you punch me in the face and you're a girl, I'm going to suck your pussy.
"Jason tells the truth. I told him, 'I need someone. My career's f---ed up, but I haven't forgotten how to act. I need someone to help me get in front of the people I need to get in front of.'"
MysteryMan writes on GFY about XXXTom.com: "The next Paris Hilton goldmine... don't you remember?"
The Alexa ranking is 72,000.
Jason Tucker writes on JBM: "XXXTOM members know and a release from Vivid today should shut that up. In side of the site there are pictures of Tom and Paris [Hilton]...kind of hard to argue that you dont know a guy who you are standing with at his house. Maybe she was too f--ked up to remember..."
I chat with Regina Lynn, who spoke publicly about her desire to get it in every hole and have her hands full of cock as well. "I couldn't work out if you were trying to be insulting," she says about our interview a few months ago. "I wished that you had either been more insulting or less."
Oystein Wright's lawsuit against his former partner Jason Tucker over Playa Solutions has been dismissed. The company belongs to Tucker.
Jason manages Sizemore and they have a mainstream TV production deal.
Joanna Angel says she fasted on Yom Kippur. "I got a call from my mother saying, 'You better fast. You have a lot to repent for.'"
Joanna's parents have been hanging out at a local Chabad house.
She's wearing four-inch pink heels, which cost her $400. "I only have to write five more chapters and I'll pay for them," she jokes. "Publishers bring it on."
Angel makes six times as much for giving a blowjob ($300) on camera than for writing a chapter for this book Naked Ambition.
She repeatedly signs the book, "Enjoy my ass and my writing."
I chat with up-and-coming director Van Styles, the next Jules Jordan.
A couple of Asian girls walk in. Dana DeArmond checks them out. Joanna hassles her. Dana (a bisexual with a boyfriend at LFP) returns fire. "Girl, don't you f--- with me when I'm checking out Asian girls."
Lurk Ford laments that women have done no good for the adult industry in last night's entry on his site. He did, however, take several pictures of them. I asked if he and Joanna Angel, who is looking more and more like Tom Wolfe every day, have learned to love each other now that she, too, is a literary lion and understands the delicious ache of words the way he does.
"I don't think so," he said (the suffixed "mate" was implied).