VCA Party For Eon McKai's Kill, Girl, Kill

Brooklyn Zoe Mathews Brooklyn, Zoe Brooklyn, Zoe Brooklyn, Zoe Brooklyn, Zoe Felix Vicious Felix Veronica Jett Veronica Gram Ponante, Keiko Gia Jordan, Missy Monroe Gia, Missy Gia Jordan Tawny Brie Tawny Brie Tawny Tawny

6pm. April 7. Barney's Beanery (near La Cienega and Santa Monica Blvds). I have a scheduled dinner with Nick East.

6:08pm. No sign of Nick. I call him on my cell phone. He's forgotten the time.

6:45pm. Nick arrives. I feel sulky because he's late, but Nick is so good-natured, I quickly lose my sulkiness.

Nick tells me about his adventures installing satellite dishes over the past three years. He gets to see parts of his customer's lives that they normally keep hidden, such as their porn collections. Even though the collectors often have crosses and religious artifacts around the house and young children.

I ask Nick if he's ever had sex with any of his customers.

"No," he laughs. "It's not like it is [portrayed] in porno."

None of his customers have asked him if he is porn star Nick East.

One coworker, however, said he looked like Nick East "but that he couldn't be Nick East because Nick lived in a mansion in Los Angeles."

"I wish," said Nick at the time.

I suggest to Nick we walk the four-blocks-or-so to the party at 7702 Santa Monica Blvd. "It must be around Crescent Heights," I say.

We set off walking and the numbers on Santa Monica don't diminish as rapidly as I had predicted.

It's only once we pass the Tomkat theater that Nick looks back and realizes it is a gay porn place.

He says it could be used on Fear Factor. Put a bunch of heterosexual men in the theater and see who can last the longest.

We end up walking about 14 blocks before arriving at the club, which is several blocks east of Fairfax. It's a 20-minute walk.

When I get into Eon McKai's party, I see Keiko and Graham Ponante locked in a serious discussion. I stroll over.

Graham looks up at me: "This is a conversation that should be happening to you."

Keiko: "Luke's never hurt me."

It takes me a minute and then I remember the way Graham cut down Keiko's performance of a song at Porn Star Karaoke.

Half an hour later, I ask Keiko how the discussion went. "I made him feel really sh----," she says.

Tawny Brie has yet to shoot her first scene. She works as a stripper in Las Vegas. "I love the attention."

She's had sex with girls and guys off-camera.

Tawny: "In highschool, I was a good girl. I went wild after I graduated."

Duke: "What happened?"

Tawny: "I moved away from my parents."

I leave the party at 9:45pm, just before the public is allowed to buy their way in, and see Terri Redor outside. He walks down Santa Monica Blvd with me.

We pass the Tomkat. Terri describes all sorts of horrible scenarios for using the Tomkat in Fear Factor.

I tell Terri I gave a mini-sermon on Jonah in Thursday's column.

Terri: "I read those two lines. It's what H.L. Mencken said: 'If you want to know a man's character, see how he makes a living."

We both erupt into painful laughter.

Terri says if you are on Santa Monica Blvd on Halloween, hang out at Barney's Beanery if you want to meet drunk hetero chicks.

Once we get to La Cienega, Terri notices a lot of attractive women in cars eyeing us. He says they're probably hookers.

I didn't know hookers drive around and look for johns (in West Hollywood and on Venice Blvd near Lincoln).

Duke: "Look, you can see my van from here."

Terri: "You sound like Jesus to the apostles. In my father's mansion, there are many parking spaces."

Duke: "Lo, I go to prepare a place for you, so that where I am, you may be also."

My van frightens Terri. He says it looks like a dog catcher van.

He says people will think that we're looking for transsexual hookers to kidnap and torture.

Terri has a hard time getting the seatbelt to fit. He's too fat. Scott Fayner would have no trouble. I only date slim chicks.

I start slamming on my water bottle.

Terri reaches down for the female seatbelt receptor and finds some jumper cables. He wonders if I use them to strangle people or to play kinky sexual games. "Aligator clips? You're ready to party. What's this gasoline for? Pills? Facemasks?"

Duke: "I've got to stop here and do a quick bank robbery."

As I drop Terri off at The Parlour Club, 7702 Santa Monica Blvd, I see actor Hal Sparks walking by.

And then the Bunny Showed up: Kill Girl Kill Party

Graham Ponante writes:

I am halfway into my second drink when Keiko wants me dead.

"I need to talk to you," she says.

"Should I sit down?" (I'm wondering if she and Rob want to move in with me and my family to open a restaurant.)

"Depends on how far you want to fall."

Keiko tells me that my review of her Rickie Lee Jones tributes at Porn Star Karaoke have hurt her, and that she was in fact accepted to Juilliard on the strength of her singing.