My First Porn Star Karaoke

3/15/05

Rob Longshot Keiko Keiko, Violet Blue Rob Longshot Keiko, Violet Blue Star Levatious Shay Thomas Star Levatious Lisa Prince Rodney Chaun, Wankus Wankus and co Cytherea Cytherea Wankus, Cindy Crawford Wankus, Cindy Crawford Angie Savage Angie Brian, Tommy Gunn, Wankus Cytherea Cytherea, Brooklyn Angie, Devon Angie, Devon Angie, Devon Kristen Violet Blue Alexis Amore Cindy Crawford, Jill Kelly freaking Mixed-race dancing Angie Tyler Faith, Alexis Amore Mickey G Shay Sights, friend Brooklyn, Cytherea Brooklyn, Cytherea Cytherea, Brian, Jill Kelly Violet Blue, boyfriend Violet Blue Mickey G, Violet Blue, Marc Davis Tommy Gunn (left to right), Zach, Tony Capone, Looceat, Gonzo Black Tommy, Gonzo

It's my first time at karaoke period and it's a jolly bit of fun. No wonder the young people go for it.

Sardos feels tiny. And full. I feel claustrophobic with my heavy leather jacket (must've thought I was going to need it to absorb some blows and bullets), red tie (hanging cloth), special religious underwear with long white tassles, and heavy Nikon D100 camera (I'm still no better at using it 18-months after I bought it, rarely able to get the damn thing to focus in the dark, even in automatic mode).

I look around desperately for a familiar face and latch on to Wankus who introduces me around. Then I latch on to Gram Ponante who deserts me for AVN's Jay Moyes.

Outside, as I'm about to leave, Marc Davis jokes about the time I came up to him apologizing for writing about Kobe Tai's escort work (it later turned out that I was 100% correct) and then buggering off.

Mickey G is back to working as an emergency room nurse. His date is a non-porn model.

Wankus's cohost is a spunky young white gal named Kristen. Terrific singer and dancer and quite friendly with the black fellas. Leaves a guy like me feeling distinctly outgunned.

Kristen wears a disturbingly low-cut blouse, and the soft jiggling flesh underneath it haunts my memory long after the karaoke has finished.

It is wicked temptresses like Kristen, who wantonly sing and dance in front of men, who make my commitment to chastity so difficult.

I don't hold with women singing in front of men. It arouses lust. At least in me.

I spot Jay Moyes of AVN with his girlfriend Bast.

Somebody says to me, "If people heard that Heidi Pike-Johnson killed John Holmes and has kept his body in a freezer, they'd say, oh, that's Heidi. That's AVN. What can you do?"

Early '90s porn star Shay Thomas sings a couple of songs, one with big blonde Star Levatious.

Angie and Devon Savage have been in porn for a few months.

After Wankus and Kristen do a Milli Vanilli imitation to their own lyrics (accompanied by gestures simulating male masturbation), Cytherea throws about 20 one-dollar bills on the floor. The Wankus tip jar overflows but he spends most of it buying people drinks.

I walk outside. About 20 porners are smoking.

Violet Blue says she wants to write a book titled "The Angry Guide To Butt Sex."

Keiko yells out: "I refuse to be a contract star. I can make $15,000 a month not being a contract star."

I leave at 11:30pm.