Trina Michaels, Stacey Sweet, Cindy Crawford On DP Tonight

I'm jealous of all the traffic Scott Fayner gets to l-keford.com and I think I will have to start living and writing like him.

Tuesday afternoon, I arrive to the offices of Digital Playground (5:30 p.m.) stoned. I repeatedly ring the doorbell for ten minutes. Nobody answers. But that's ok.

It's hot outside and I'm sweating and but inside I'm cool. I'm charmed by the process of repeatedly ringing the doorbell and getting no answer. Normally I get buzzed in on my first ring. It's a profound shift of my expectations to stand out here, now Cory (computer tech at DP) joins me. He's caring two big plastic containers of sandwiches.

He rings the bell repeatedly. Normally I'd be angry and flustered by now but today I am calm, just enjoying the music of the bell.

Finally, I call Donna on her cell phone. She opens the door for us and that is just too cool to be inside with the marvelous air conditioning and the free soda pop and snacks.

You see, once a week I go in for my electric shock therapy. It calms me.

Complaining of a headache this afternoon, I was prescribed "Sage Leaves Extract," which, I'm told, has a mariajuan-like effect. I've never taken the weed so I would not know. Anyway, I feel calmed and Donna and Adella at DP say I'm high.

I also have a big bottle of water filled with silver particles to cleanse my blood.

Devon supposedly has strep throat. Her anti-biotics have made her whoozy and slurry. At 7 p.m., no guests have shown up. Jesse Jane goes on alone.

Cindy Crawford of Jill Kelly Productions arrives a few minutes later and goes on the show. She says she's had sex with a lot of ugly guys in her life. "I'm more into personality than looks."

Jesse and Cindy say they would never do an ugly girl, however.

Cindy says she's appeared in 200 films in just over a year in the business.

A few minutes later, two girls from LA Direct Models show up - Stacey Sweet (18) and Trina Michaels (22?). I chat with them in the lunch room.

Stacey has been in porn two weeks and done two scenes. Trina has been in porn for two months and done ten scenes.

Stacey measures 34C. Trina, with massive implants, measures 34DD-24-36.

Trina, from Northern California, used to work for a bachelor party company. She was working three jobs, including as a secretary at a car insurance claims company.

Her parents don't know she's in porn and they wouldn't approve if they knew.

Stacey's family knows. Her entire small town in Ohio (600 persons) knows about her porn exploits. Her mother managed a Days Inn where Stacey (from Jamaican and Italian ancestry) worked at the front desk and had sex in many of the rooms with her boyfriend. They broke up two weeks ago when he got drunk and forgot to pick her up at the Cleveland airport.

Stacey would have to call the police when a hooker would turn tricks in the parking lot and customers complained.

What crowd did you hang with in high school?

"Not the best crowd," admits Stacey. "Druggie kids."

"Me and my best friend," says Trina. Both girls are shy. Stacey says she felt like she was about to cry before doing her first scene.

Both girls say they are in porn for the money. Trina has a lot of bills to pay. Trina wants to save for the future.

Both girls say they lost their virginity at 16.

Stacey has had sex with six guys in her life, including two in porn. Trina doesn't know how many, but it is less than 100.

On July 26, Trina will marry the first guy she slept with.

Stacey says no to anal while Trina is a three-input girl.

Jesse tells Cindy Crawford that her good friend Lisa the Lesbian (used to work at Digital Playground but is now banned from all their events) was on her JKP set this weekend.

Jesse reads an email: "Hi Jesse, Luke is going to come at the end of the two to talk about his new books."

Jesse: "Awesome. So, do you do anal? I already asked that. Luke, you've got me flustered."

Jason Sechrest emails: "This is Lexington Steele's publicist [Lex was supposed to be on the show tonight]. He hasn't even called. What can I say? He's psyched about doing the show. I'm happy we've been able to reschedule it."

Luke comes on the show and plugs his books:

A History of X: 100 Years of Sex in Film
XXX-Communicated: A Rebel Without a Shul
The Producers: Profiles in Frustration

Jesse: "Mr. Luke likes to meet some of my friends and make sure they don't get into porn. One of my friends that Luke likes thinks he's really cute. I just thought I'd tell you."

"You've got some hot friends. Intellectually hot. For me, that's what's important. A good mind in a woman. How's your friend Larissa?"

"I know you like Larissa. She doesn't start school until August 31. She's not going to Santa Barbara anymore. She's going locally."

"I'll have to show her books. Hardcover and softcover? Is she doing scenes with you?"

Jesse: "Not on film."

"Have you guys ever?"

"I can't discuss that. I'll let it intellectually stimulate your mind."

"When did you guys last hang out?"

"Last night."

"What did you do?"

"Had a good time."

"You went to the library?"

"Yes. I have a library in my brand new house."

"What kind of books do you have?"

"How to pleasure and how to have a good time."

"I haven't read that one."

"Were you on suspension? Is that the reason you weren't here for the last few shows? [For conduct unbecoming a porn star.]"

"I've been a bad girl? Whatever."

"Is it true you are having a party with Britney Spears in Las Vegas?"

"Yes, it's true. It's coming soon and I'm not supposed to know about it."

"Have you met Britney?"

"Yes, I have."

"How many times?"

"A couple of times. Have you met Britney?"

"No, I haven't. Could I show her my books? Does she live a life of the mind?"

"Uh huh," laughs Jesse.

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