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Asian Night On DP Tonight - Updated
2003-05-13 21:31:43

I arrive at Digital Playground at 5:45. Donna welcomes me. PR gal Adella is gone for a week's vacation.

I'm a pest and follow Donna around the building teasing her.

Then I bother the internet staff. I am not a gracious guest.

Donna introduces me to gorgeous Indonesian Nyomi Jade. We chat for half an hour. She's shy and smart with a sly smile. She used to be a religious Muslim.

Her sister is Jade Marcella, in porn for four years. Nyomi's been in for two.

Nyomi: "I used to always ask Jade to borrow money. One day she said, 'There's work for you. You should go see [Hustler's Asian Fever] Ray Anderson.'"

Nyomi has appeared in fewer than 50 fifty movies. She's just returned from a month in Indonesia.

Luke: "Do you have a boyfriend who's stalking you?"

Nyomi: "Not any more."

Nyomi had a four-year relationship with a guy but has never married. She prefers to date men outside the industry.

Luke: "How do they like you being a porn star?"

Nyomi: "In the beginning they think it is ok but after a while they want me stop doing things... No kissing. No boy-girl. Condom only. I'm now condom only. I have a boyfriend now."

Nyomi says her sister Jade is her best friend.

Nyomi stands 5'3" and measures 34B-22-33.

Luke: "Do you pray five times a day like a good Muslim?"

Nyomi: "No, I just pray once before I go to sleep."

Luke: "What did you think of the war on Iraq?"

Nyomi: "It's horrible."

Luke: "What do you think of the political situation in Indonesia?"

Nyomi: "It's horrible right now. Bali is normally filled with tourists but it was empty. You can bargain for the rates at the hotels."

Luke: "When you were growing up, did you sleep in the same bed as your sister?"

Nyomi: "Yes, we did. We'd cuddle. We did fun stuff together."

Luke: "How does your personality compare to that of your sister?"

Nyomi: "She's loud. I'm shy."

Luke: "Have you worked together in the same scene?"

Nyomi: "Yes. Our first scene together was on a couch with Mickey G for Sin City. He did anal with her. He only did vag with me. We did Babes Illustrated with the twins."

Luke: "Because he respected you more."

Nyomi: "No, it's because I don't do anal."

Luke: "Did it make you mad that he sodomized your sister?"

Nyomi: "No, it was weird in the beginning but I got used to it."

Luke: "What were you doing while he was hammering your sister?"

Nyomi: "I was masturbating and then he would pull out and I would suck his dick."

Luke: "After it came out of your sister's butt?"

Nyomi: "I'm afraid so, buddy."

Luke: "Did that help you and your sister become closer?"

Nyomi: "We've open about our sexuality. Sometimes we'll masturbate together and have races to see who can come first.

"We do a lot of stuff on our website, where I actually have sex with her. She f-cks me and I f-ck her."

Luke: "What do you do when you're not working?"

Nyomi: "I sit at home and rent a lot of movies, watch TV, hang out with my friends, shopping. I love clothes."

Luke: "How does a shy girl make porn movies? Do you just turn a switch in your head?"

Nyomi: "Basically."

6:45PM. Director Nic Andrews tells Jesse Jane that Joone, DP co-owner, has forbidden her to fire real ammunition tomorrow. They're going to a firing range so she can learn about guns for a forthcoming role. "No porno clothes tomorrow and wear sneakers."

Nic: "Luc Wylder says I used to look like [Roger] Ebert but now I look like Gene Siskel. He didn't know that Siskel was dead."

Just before the show starts, I get a Mountain Dew and ice and a peanut butter cookie and two chocolate-chip granola bars.

Jesse Jane and a super-slender Devon host. Jane wants to lose eight pounds to drop to 100 on her 5'3" surgically-enhanced frame. DP director Nic Andrews encourages her to go on a high-protein diet with an appetite repressant. That helped him lose 80-pounds.

Show begins at 7PM. JustMrT and a few other guys with no life hang out in the chat room. I sneak into the DP chair and type obxnoxious messages to them. JMT immediately recognizes my style and mocks me back.

7:13PM: Jesse Jane complains about a limp dicked male performer named Jason.

Devon says Eric Price is hanging out in Florida doing stuff.

Thomas from Flaunt magazine is in the audience, it's the heterosexual version of Details magazine.

Devon says she first had sex at age 14 but didn't have an orgasm for another five years.

Nyomi is the first guest, then she's replaced by a gum-chewing Lucy Lee. David Clark wants her to lose the gum. At 8PM, he yells out she should lose the gum. She drops it out of her mouth on to her stomach, picks it up, and sticks it back in her mouth.

Kevin emails about getting in the sack with the DP girls. Devon says, do you have any money?

Devon says she sees Bill Mahr (Politically Incorrect) at porno conventions. He's a major hound. Wonder why he's politically libertarian? Cause he can get all the women he wants conscience-free, while if he were an authentic conservative, he'd be sinning.

8:20PM: David Clark lumbers on to the couch.

David: "I can't remember the last time I had sex with a non-asian woman. The name for my medical condition is rice queen. You beautiful blonde Caucasian girls on either side of me, I might as well be gay. It just doesn't work for me. It's a big wide world. But I watch your movies."

Devon and Jesse appear taken aback.

Mike South emails: "I know [David] used to hang with Joe Christ, who's a pretty twisted guy. What happened to him?"

David: "Joe Christ is a dangerous cult leader out of Texas... I've never been in the same place with him. I've never partied with him."

Deep Under Cover writes in: "David, what do you know about the role of the Mafia in the industry? Have you ever personally experienced the Mafia?"

David: "How could we have a question from [DUC] if he's standing right here?"

Devon: "Is that his porn name, Deep Under Cover?"

David: "He's just obsessed with the Mafia in the industry. As we know, the Mafia has no place in any American industries. It's all a myth."

Devon: "I heard that the Mob ran porn back in the day?"

Devon keeps pronouncing David's middle name as "Erin." He corrects her.

Devon next calls him David Alan Clark.

Robby D, DP director, says I look sleepy. I say it's all the medication I'm on, including lithium for bi-polar. Robby's also bi-polar but he refuses to take medication. Instead he drinks. Last night he got wasted.

Robby says drinking Silver Petrone makes him raunchy and Long Island Ice Tea turns him into a chubby chaser.

Robby says he hasn't shot any asian girls in a while.

Lucy: "Loser!"

Nyomi: "Racist!"

They're joking. After the show, David, Lucy, Nyomi, Robby and I hang out in the editing room.

Robby to Luke: "I know where you live. Jamye Waxman went to your house. I said to her, 'Write down the directions for me.'"

David talks to Robby about Nyomi and Lucy: "They don't do anal but they do do interracial."

Robby: "I've never shot an anal [at Digital Playground]."

David tries to stay away from double penetration but he's constantly tempted to put in that hot man on man (with a woman thrown in) action.

I wonder if Spielberg and Scorsese talk similarly when they get together?

David Clark talks about Devon and Jesse: "They'd never heard anyone in their life before say, well, you're not really my taste."

David kvells about receiving an Editor's Choice mention in AVN. "It was like the aftermath of a good orgasm. I felt empty and wondering when the next one was coming. That's existential stand-up humor. I don't need laughter. You can just stand there and look sorry for me."

Robby D served as David Clark's DP on two Vivid projects.

David: "One I can stand (Angel) to look at and one I can't (Bad Thoughts)."

Luke: "How come David only made two movies for Vivid?"

Robby: "Because they had a steady stable of directors, PT and myself, and we were lucky he got to make two."

David: "I never went back and asked for anymore.

"I really liked the pay and how professional Vivid was."

Luke: "Did you feel like you were sacrificing your artistry for money?"

David: "Yes. It's not like anybody said it would be different. Nobody was a bad guy. They were great. It was one of the best working experiences I've ever had in the industry. I love Vivid on that level. I went in there. They let me do what they do. I couldn't really get behind what they do. I wish all my experiences in the business had been that professional."

Robby: "I agree. They have the best professional side of production around."

David: "The checks always clear. When you call about something, you get called back in an hour."

DUC to Nyomi: "Do you ever feel like you are sacrificing your artistry for money?"

Nyomi: "All the time."

David: "Nyomi used to drive her big sister to sets because her big sister wasn't allowed to have a drivers' license anymore for whatever reasons... Way before Nyomi would do anything, she'd show up to sets wearing glasses and carrying books and she'd go off to the make-up room to read books."

Luke: "What do you guys think about Nyomi doing her sister on her website's videos?"

David: "I'm shocked and appalled. I've been meaning to talk to her about that to see if I could get a free membership."

Robby: "No kidding."

DUC to Nyomi: "Do you have orgasms with your sister?"

Nyomi: "No."

David: "That would be wrong."

Nyomi: "That would be wrong to actually enjoy it."

Luke: "Do you ever have orgasms on camera?"

Nyomi: "No."

Luke: "Lucy?"

Lucy: "Sometimes."

Luke: "What's David like as an interior decorator?"

Lucy: "Lots of axes and swords and asian stuff. He has an asian god he prays to."

David: "That's an African fertility god."

DUC to Nyomi: "We should get together and study the Sharia [Islamic law code] sometime. I have this big interest in Muslim law."

Lucy: "Don't. Don't do it."

Luke: "I want to study some of the teachings of the Prophet with you someday."

Robby: "That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard in my life."

Luke: "There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet."

David Aaron Clark writes on RAME: I knew Kitty had resurfaced from her private life but haven't seen her. But discard nostalgia and check out Lucy Lee; everything you liked about Kitty Yung but young and ready to be wild; check her out in my ASIA NOIRs and ANYTHING else you can get your hands on -- Devil's and Red Light have filmed her several times already.