Another Aussie Celeb Does Porno?

Adam writes: Luke, We only had to wait a few months but yet another Australian TV celebrity has managed to get themselves captured having sex on a privae home video that is now doing the rounds in lots of places. That makes about 5 personalities in 2 years - Mimi McPherson (Elle's sis) ; Debra Byrne ; Catriona Rowntree ; Gina Boon etc... This latest one is a youngster, 20 year old Kate Ritchie. She plays Sally in the long running soap Home & Away which she has been on since a little kid, maybe 10-12 years. In the sex vid, she really goes off big time. I've seen it. She humps like a porno pro, screams wildly - "f--- me, f--- me harder".... Grinds down real hard when on top, likes it deep inside. She is quite attractive, curvy body & huge natural mams. Always came across as a "goody 2 shoes" girl but that obviously isn't the case in reality.

Taksan writes: It wasn't Catriona Rowntree in her video I know where this bulls--- rumour comes from and its totaly untrue.Print that please mate or the myth just perpetuates.

XXX porn star says: "When I was molested as a child, I wasn't there. I would disattach from myself... I wasn't capable of realizing what was going on. And that allows me do porn. Because when I'm f---ing, I'm not there. I'm not in my body."

Rob Spallone

Rob Spallone has learned to use the computer. He sent me this IM:

RobP0rn: luke it is me
Luzdedos1: who?
RobP0rn: rob you idiot
Luzdedos1: spallone?
RobP0rn: yeah
Luzdedos1: no way, you can't use a computer
RobP0rn: suck my dick
Luzdedos1: i do not believe you, call me

I called Rob and it really was him. He was sitting with Kendra Jade and Matt.

RobP0rn: what do you think
Luzdedos1: ohmigod
RobP0rn: :)
Luzdedos1: hey kendra sweetie :)
RobP0rn: hi babe
Luzdedos1: r u turning gay on me? suck my dick!

Rob sent me a purple bomb.

Rob: "Lukey, you can't talk to me that way."

Luke: "I was talking to Kendra."

RobP0rn: I MBACK
Luzdedos1: groovy baby
RobP0rn: I LOVE YOU LUKE

Wayne writes: Luke, Rob Spallone on the internet....one of the seven signs of the apocalypse...look it up.

John Wayne Bobbitt Update

John Bobbitt's manager Robert Yates writes: Here is an update John just left a message on my machine and he is flipping out. I guess the dumb bastard just got back from his lawyer. John has been trying to stop the movie from coming out since the day he heard about, but there is nothing he can do to stop it. Early in the week I had sent John a copy of a model release he had signed for photo shoots that day. This is common practice with John, since he is indecisive, I always have him sign a standard contract with all shoots.

Like I said John has limited intelligence and I had that stupid f--- do some photo shoots for 2 days before he left. The day before I set him up and that day. I had figured that he was going away for quite some time and so did he, that's why we were doing photo shoots before he left, plus he had to make a few PICS for his fan club. The release I had him sign was standard form that's says all photo/video/web material can used, reused, published, republished in any way I see fit. The stupid f--- is flipping out, he is blaming his lawyer because his lawyer is the one that always told him to make sure you sign photo contracts. John has tendency to sign things without his lawyer taking a look at them first, hell that f---er does not even read them himself.

John is threatening to sue me. I left a message on his machine last week and said we should become partners and both make money instead of going to court and losing money. And the cocksucker called me back and said that he is going to try and stop the film no matter what it takes. He even threatened to kick my ass and take the film from me physically, which I would love for him to try. That way I can beat the f--- out of John and catch it on tape that way I can sell that tape too. I tried to be nice to the asshole and cut him on the deal but he is being a little bitch.

So what I say is f--- HIM the movie coming out even if I have to sell it over the Internet, but I have already gotten numerous offers so I highly doubt the Internet will be the route I take. Between me and you, one of the reasons John has said he would never do another porn is because he is afraid that when chicks see his huge freak Dick that they will be afraid to have sex with them. f--- that crazy looking cock scared me and all I did was take pictures of it. I think John should be proud of his new huge cock, I mean dam in Uncut his penis was only about 4 inches long erect because he lost a few inches when he had gotten his penis reattached. John hates when I tell that to people. If you give me your address I will send you a copy of the film in about 2 weeks as soon as I get my copyright done. And if you know of any distributors interested in this film have them contact me. Only legitimate contacts please. I have had every f---ing scumbag and there maggot friend try and steal PICS from me. Thanks Robert R. Yates 716-297-9006

Porn’s Kim Chambers Gets A Great Pumpkin Visit

Los Angeles, CA – November 1, 1999 – Kim Chambers invited numerous friends to her Halloween party, including one special gag invitation to the Great Pumpkin of Pumpkin Patch, USA. Long after the party was over and her friends had gone home, she got a middle-of-the-night visit. To Kim’s surprise, she found out that Charlie Brown’s Great Pumpkin indeed exists, and is a fan of porn.

Kim’s website’s bedroom camera was running, and caught all the “pumpkin” action that ensued. She thought it was a dream until this morning when she reviewed the video tape. She reports that the Great Pumpkin has a pumpkin head, and partial pumpkin genitalia, with the remainder being all male. She’s created photos from the video and has posted them on her website, at http://www.kimchambers.com, for all to see.

Kim plans to send special invitations to every future party she can think of as a result of her Halloween experience. “I’d have done it sooner if I thought this would have happened! I just hope that the Great Pumpkin had finished giving out all his candy before he made his stop at my place. You can bet that I’ll invite Santa Clause to my Christmas party!”

For more information on Kim or her “pumpkin” encounter, visit her website at http://kimchambers.com, or email her at info@kimchambers.com.

Halloween Party

Several hundred people showed up to Ron Miller's Halloween Party at the Universal Hilton Sunday night.

I arrived at 6:40 PM and found Miller, looking busy and exhausted. As the evening progressed, however, he seemed to gain in energy.

I hooked up with Paul Cowan from the NFB of Canada at 7PM. He'd bought a black hood for me, it resembled an executioner's mask. I wore it all night and enjoyed being anonymous. Only Keri Windsor was able to detect me (from my bad posture).

I run into suave black man D.K., talent agent, who's squiring around his latest find - an exotic brunette named Skylar. She's from the midwest and has yet to do her first shoot. DK will take her this week to Hustler, Ron Vogel and other porners.

Traci Love, a tiny blonde, attracts lots of attention, as do all beautiful girls who arrive during the evening, including Meka (a tiny asian in a nurse's outfit).

I talk with John Collins, who's been in porn since 1993. He's a good friend of Sasha Gabor and hates Mike Albo. It's not clear who's more hated, Luke or Mike?

Collins shoots and performs in front of the camera, mainly in gonzo productions for companies like Metro.

A British documentary film crew is following around John Douglas and Dave Michaels from www.talkingblue.com. I note about five film crews during the evening, including one for Colin Malone (Colin's Sleazy Friends). Just after 8PM, I watch Colin interview Dave Cummings and a buxom latin Justine.

Don Osterholt, owner of Atlas Multimedia, shows up with Haley, a beautiful blonde not in porn. He says he's had it with porn girls, after a marriage to Tabitha Stevens and flings with Stacy Valentine and Christy Canyon. Don's dressed like a pimp and his entourage includes three attractive women.

Don says Atlas has reduced the number of its porn star sites, and will concentrate on its big stars such as Janine, Racquel Darrian, Julia Anne and Kobe Tai.

"You've only got so many hours in the day," says Don. "You have to spend it wisely."

I meet John's friend Katarina, a buxom short-haired brunette who stars in Young and Anal 14 and the latest issue of Voluptious, the bra and panty special. From Portland, Oregon, she moved to LA a year ago.

Bill Margold and XXX presented the FOXE Awards. Winners included Alisha Klass, Stacey Valentine, Cherry Mirage aka Strych9 (wins FOXE Vixxen), TT Boy, Sean Michaels, Tom Byron, Christy. Luke found, to his relief, lots of security on hand and the event proceeded smoothly.

Jim South joins the event along with his son Jim Jr. South is one smooth operator, and a lot of wit and wisdom dance in his eyes. Paul Cowan of the NFB found South surprisingly forthcoming and open.

Margold says the next FOXE Award show will be June 4th at the Mayan Hotel.

Bill: "The XRCO is what I created and then left because it took itself too seriously. I still have great faith in the XRCO and in the litany of awards, the XRCO is the most honest of the critic awards. The specious AVN Awards... The magazine should be spindled, rolled and perforated so it could be put to better use.

"We have way too many award shows and way too many conventions and too many people in the X-rated industry who do not even know what the hell they are doing in here. If I had my way, and PAW is going to start a national referendum, so don't be surprised if I get away with this, we're going to attempt to raise the age of entrance into the X-rated industry to 21 years old.

"I've been in this business for 30 years and I am getting really tired of people coming into this business who don't know what they're doing in this industry. At 18, 19, 20, they are not ready to be chewed up by the meat grinder of X. Maybe by 21... I've put up with too much and these kids just aren't ready. You ask them what they are getting themselves into, they go huhh, and then you ask them if they're ready to do an anal scene and they go, 'what's that?' They don't know their assholes from their mouth."

Kelly Holland: "That can be very complicated on the set."

Jim Gunn replies: "I read Bill Margold's comments about trying to start an effort through P.A.W. to raise the legal age for performing in adult movies to 21 rather than 18 years old. I have noticed that one or two other over-the-hill industry veterans have also recently made murmurings to that effect as well. Well f--- that! What are they, the killjoys of the business? I like filming and f---ing 18-20 year old girls- as a matter of fact more than half of the models I film and photograph fall into that age category and there's a reason for that- younthful beauty sells! Just look at all the porn mags, video series and websites devoted to quote-unquote "teen" erotica. Brisk sales for my teenage cheerleader and teen lesbian website content at www.contentforsale.com demonstrate the overwhelming demand for (legal) teen models. So get bent, Bill. You've got no support for your patronizing, treat-adults-like-children, wrongheaded policy here."

The crowd is mainly fans of X-rated entertainment, along with about 60 industry folks. People who just want to celebrate porno, enjoy each other and be free for a night from outsiders making moral judgements. It reminds me of the fun at Erotica LA and the World Pornography Conference.

The blaring rock music makes it hard to have much serious communication with people.

I remember how incredibly erotic I found my first FOXE show (February, 1996) but by now most of the excitement has gone.

As I'm leaving the event, around 11:30PM, I run into Max Hardcore who wears a sign reading "Kid Putz."

On the drive home, trying to transition from the 101 South to the 10 West, Luke got lost and drove around in circles for 15 minutes. Suddenly I saw signs informing me that I was in Boyle Heights, where Mike Albo dumped my ass a few weeks ago.

Fred writes: Well, I'm sorry you were incognito. I attended this event, and looked for you. Oh well.

It seemed rather tame. I have the distinct impression that the promoter took a financial bath, eh?

Regarding Meka, the girl in the nurse's outfit, she is new, eh? What do you know about her?

Regarding Jane Hamilton/Veronica Hart, I heard she was splitting from her husband, and the long-haired guy she was with was her new boyfriend. Correct? BTW, she's still quite good looking. I had an interesting conversation with a couple of people.

One rather cute girl claimed to have made some "underground" videos", i.e. videos showing things that most distributors will refuse to distribute. Is there much of an economy of producers who make such things in the San Fernando valley?

Luke: Not sure.

Fred: I'll tell you what intrigued me. First, there were two really cute Asian girls, one you mentioned named Meka, and the other dressed in a parochial school girl's uniform, with a rather short skirt. I suppose each of these girls looked about 19 or 20. Neither of them looked like a card-carrying member of the Wild Bunch. I found it very intriguing that two girls, who looked reasonably innocent, were in the "business" and extremely nonchalant about describing what they did in videos. I suppose you encounter that often, but I found it interesting. I wonder at what point in their lives performing sex in front of a camera became such a non-event for them.

The second thing that intrigued me is that I found Veronica Hart to be quite attractive. She's been around for a while, she's mature and appears to be at peace with her life's decisions and to enjoy what she does. She's obviously not a young whippersnapper who doesn't know what she's gotten herself into. Also, I gather that she's reasonably bright.

Rodger Jacobs has resigned from XXXGen magazine. Editor Craig Vasiloff has been mixing it with numerous people over the past few weeks including FANtastic acquisition Roger Pipe (www.rogreviews.com).

FSC Says Boo To Censorship

I marched with about 30 persons from Hustler Hollywood on Sunset Blvd to LFP on Wilshire and La Cienega and back this morning.

I arrived at Hustler Hollywood at 8:30 AM. An attractive busty blonde Adagia (Bill Margold named her) was waiting outside with her husband Tyler. Other attendees of the five mile walk included outgoing FSC executive director Jeffrey Douglas, outgoing FSC president Gloria Leonard, Bill Margold, Mara Epstein, Christy Lake and her boyfriend YYY, Phil Berman, Bionca, Rayne, Jane Hamilton, Melrose Larry Green [Lawrence Greenblatt]...

Paul Cowan from the National Film Board of Canada pulls me behind the building to attach my radio mike.

Chris Mann drops by with what looks like his three boys. He asks me not to photograph his kids and I agree. I take one just of Chris.

One of his kids asks: "Who are you shooting for?"

Luke: "My website."

Kid: "What type of website? Why don't you take a picture of me?"

Chris Mann takes the kids away.

Melrose Larry Green approaches me and starts yelling. "I've given this a lot of thought and you're a f---ing asshole. For printing girls' real names and addresses [Luke has never printed addresses]... I haven't done this in years... I wouldn't like it if somebody did that to me. I should stand in front of your house and stalk you. I should put your name and your personal information on the internet so that everybody knows about Luke F-rd and what a scumbag you are...

"Now please don't quote that because I don't want to add to your non-career. Please let me have that tape right now."

I refuse.

Melrose: "I only have to see you for five or ten minutes. You have to live with yourself every day."

Phil Berman (manufacturer of sex toys) advises him not to waste his breath.

Melrose says he has an MBA from Cornell (where Paul Cowan got his degree in film) and that he's a conservative Republican like me.

He softens. "I like you as a person Luke. Professionally I think you're an asshole. Why don't you do something with your life? Become a model or an actor?"

Luke: "I'm trying."

Bionca: "I miss performing... I stopped five years ago... I'll probably do a comeback soon.

Melrose Larry Green: "I love her movies. I love it when she whips people."

Bionca: "I tried to get Larry to do a movie but he declined."

Melrose: "My manager is Jack Gordon, LaToya Jackson's ex-husband and he and Bionca had a great idea for "The Torture of Melrose Larry Green." But I had to decline because I thought it might affect my career for nursery school appearances."

AVN reporter Mark Kernes walks up to Bionca and pointing at me, says: "You know this asshole probably has your real name up on his site?"

Then, during the group photo, Kernes yells at the NFB crew: "This guy is an admitted liar... He has libeled people on his website. He has libeled the magazine I work for [AVN]. And why you are doing this is really a shame."

Bill Margold: "It's Halloween, when all the goblins can really come out."

Mark: "That's good Bill. I like that. It's a real shame. I guess you guys probably have minutes to fill."

About 40 porners over the past 18 months have yelled at Canadian documentarian Paul Cowan for videotaping me. Today they were all over him, thinking he was part of "my film crew." That did not help Cowan secure interviews.

The other big topic of conversation was my feud with Mike Albo.

I think the FSC raised about $4000 in pledges for the walk and collected about $1500 Sunday.

I walk down to LFP with Mara Epstein and Gloria Leonard.

Mara Epstein: "I have no feelings for Mike Ross."

Luke: "I heard you guys had an affair."

Mara to Gloria: "I'm telling him about the time I sucked Mike's dick."

Luke: "I hear he treated you rough."

Mara: "Yeah, he tied me up but he used silk ties so that I wouldn't have scars."

Luke: "I think he's got a thing for Kat Sunlove."

Mara: "His wife doesn't want him."

Luke: "I heard you broke up his marriage."

Gloria to Mara: "I'm only hoping that you will be responsible for his demise."

Mara: "No, I am responsible for dressing him better. I am taking him out of plaid jackets and putting him into Armani."

Luke: "Do you think that will help him become the new executive director of the Free Speech Coalition?"

Mara: "I don't think there's enough fabric for him to become the new executive director..."

Gloria: "I don't think there's enough bulls--- for him to become the new... He's not in consideration... Andy Kaufman has a better chance..."

Mara: "Are Mike and Gene Ross related?"

Gloria: "Yes, they are Betsy's illegitimate children."

Mara: "Is Ron Jeremy your and Al Goldstein's illegitimate son?"

Gloria: "No, he's Al and Andrea Dworkin's illegitimate son."

Mara Epstein had a breast reduction.

Luke: "Why are Jewish women's breasts so big? It's part of the reason I converted..."

Gloria: "I don't believe they have any bigger breasts..."

Luke: "I wouldn't want to traffic in stereotypes..."

Gloria debated Patrick Trueman about porn on cable TV a few weeks ago. Pat said that porn was not the material the founding fathers had in mind when they wrote the First Amendment. And Leonard responded that she didn't think AK47s were what they had in mind when they developed the Fourth Amendment [doesn't she mean the Second?].

Luke: "I talked to the FBI this week."

Gloria: "Why would you want to do a thing like that?"

Luke: "I'll get scoop from any source."

Gloria: "But it doesn't matter Luke where you get the scoop from. You never print the truth anyway."

Gloria puffs on a cigarette as we walk down La Cienega Blvd.

Luke: "FBI told me that pornographers mark up all product by 400%."

Gloria: "I have no idea what the mark up is... And he doesn't either because he doesn't know if he's talking about manufacturers, distributors, mail order, internet..."

We make it to the LFP building for water and snacks.

Bill Margold tells the Canadians: "I wouldn't say this is the best thing I've ever thought up... I wish more people would've shown up but it is better to have a few people who give a s--- than to have a bunch of people who do not even know why they are here."

A black security guard comes down, the same guy who greeted us Wednesday...

Bill tells him: "Larry Flynt knows we'll be on his property..."

I walk back to Hustler Hollywood with Bill Margold, Jeffrey Douglas and Bionca. None of them say a word to me during the 35-minute walk.

Along the way we pass Christy Lake and her lover YYY. I feel like hell.

We wonder about the long haired man hanging with Jane Hamilton. They're all over each other. We suspect that it is her husband. Someone asks and we find out it is Jane's boyfriend. Hubby is at home with the kids.

Jane remains a sexy sensual woman.

Back at Hustler Hollywood, Cowan pans the group of stragglers walking the final few yards. Then suddenly Christy Lake turns around and yells at him, "I hate Luke F-rd." She has the impression, like much of the crowd, that Cowan is in town chiefly to follow me around, while in truth I am but one of the two major characters in the documentary (the other being Bill Margold).

Later Christy yells at Paul again about how horrible I am. Luke F-rd hates the business. He's a parasite. He accused me of having sex with a dog and put pictures on his website of it... It's hurt my career... I've hired a lawyer and we're going after him. I will not sign a release...

Rayne wonder if Dave the Sound Man is my brother. No.

Cowan pays Adagia $20 for her walk as a pledge to the FSC.

I leave Hustler Hollywood around 1PM and walk past the black shrouded Viper Room where the actor River Phoenix died of a drug overdose (GHB).

Paul Cowan and Dave the Sound Man spent Saturday videotaping Bill Margold and Saturday night shooting Dr. Susan Block interview Brandy Alexandre, who did ok. Earlier this week, Cowan spent time with Margold warning Adagia and her husband about the business. After the warning, Adagia remained eager but the husband appeared more concerned and wary. He's a short-haired straight.

From http://www.condomproject.com/msgboard/

Brad Shaw: Lee, Luke called me. First question, What do you think of Ron Levi? Second question, What do you think of Serge. I quickly saw where this was going, so I played hard to get.

Lee: Ah, Luke was trying to fish was he? Good block move. It appears he may have censored your convo then since he could not get any dirt. This explains why he said he must have said he caught ya on an off night. He seems to be focusing on ruffling other feathers now, he must not find the boards any fun, or he is lurking until some yellow flows, then perhaps he might catch a yammer webmaster who will be more open and vocal. The guy is into sensational shock media, its a job. Being hated in journalism does open doors. Just cannot figure out what he does with the traffic to his site...there are no sponsors.

Meat writes: Luke F-rd is a journalist? Looking thru his site, I may be blind or maybe theres so much bulls--- to wade thru it but if we are talking Journalism then my observations are: 1. He reproduces posts from this board and others... We have never even recieved an email asking permission or even letting us know hes doing this. 2. Hes still calling it Condom Project. 4. He loads real news in a frame and I didnt see any acknowledgemtents to the newspapers he grabs real info from. 4. He seems to post alot of chats between parties and I wonder if the people involved all undesrtand that the convo will appear on lukes trashy site. Some Journo...

Lee Noga: Ya Meat, know whatcha mean, but even tho his ethics and practices are no doubt questionable he probably realizes he has a big umbrella given to journalism rights and claims. Don't know those laws, I know when a post is made the person making the post has a copyright. But, for all the toes he steps on and he is still around, tells me either he is safe under his journalistic umbrella or he has an angle that keeps him free of libelous suits. I just don't know the value to his angle, other than shock media but he does not profit for the risks he takes unless he claims journalistic privilege. A person has to prove they have been damaged by one of his writings, and thats hard to do, its not cost effective to file suit for copyright of a post. He lives between the lines I suppose where he can be a irritant with free rein. Do you think his writings of late have hurt anyones business?

Raw Alex: The best part is that we can blame Luke F-rd for almost everything. The guy is enough of a doorknob to take it... worse, tell him what you think of him (lying asshole) and he publishes it!

Lee, we could spend a month snowing the poor fool under more horses--- than he can ever climb out of. Adult film business misses the solution with Luke, which is just give him so many untruths that sooner or later, he stops reading. Hey Luke, did you know that 90% of all models on the internet are actually men, with their private airbrushed out and replaced with woman parts?

Luke: Really, now that's a scoop!

Leading internet traffic power Serge Birbair, who Luke has repeatedly bashed over the past week, writes: I really don't know why you people show dissatisfaction with Luke.... Take it from me, the "student of human behavior", according to Luke, he is the best thing since the sliced bread invention! I get calls/e-mails from people had no idea I exist, (thanks, Luke!) porno-stars, movie producers, FBI agents, mob contract hitters, all call me up and discuss deals, all thanks to Luke F-rd! Our current projects include, but not limited: 1) change of government in Iraq, 2) Release of Deep Throat 2001 for Internet viewers 3) Setting confession website, joint venture of FBI and Corleone Family (now you know what we were buying s--- traffic for!) Luke, I'll be traveling to Moscow on Dec.11th, {russkies want their girls back, with USA experience they are more valuable in Moscow than in Boca} care to join me to cover THE EVENT?

Mutt: l-keford.com is like a trainwreck you gotta take a look. What a bizarre world he's created for himself. What is the xxx adult video world's obsession with awards? I watched a video of one of the AVN Awards hosted by the comic Robert Shimmel who is a very underated comic but nowhere near as hysterical as watching a vacuous porn starlet overcome with emotion break down in tears when she's awarded the coveted 'Best Anal Scene' Award.

BmanInLA: luke does TT boy rent his Ferrari or did he buy it? Luzdedos1: dunno BmanInLA: im thinkin i want one .. i liked it.. i saw him and justin and Jenna last night

BmanInLA: Luke i think you should dress up like a Fat Smut Magazine Editor and i think umm Mike Alobo should dress up like a distinguished Porn journalist for halloween.

BmanInLA: I got a special apple you can give him. but ironically you would be giving it to yourself ... BmanInLA: the moral of the story is dont give yourself an apple with a razor in it otherwise you might find Mike Albo with bleeding lips BmanInLA: Mike would make a good KOOL- AID man

Mystery writes Luke: Luke, I have been wondering about that mousse lube spiel you had a few weeks ago. Are you serious? Doesn't mousse have chemicals that would react and hurt sensitive vaginal tissues? Can you check this out with porn medical people to make sure before I try this with someone and possibly hurt them?

Luke: NO NO NO. It was for entertainment purpose only, like the rest of my site.

Lynne L-patin Jail Babe

Lynne L-patin writes Luke: My "Jail Babes" experience is even funnier in print. Thanks. The big bruise on my left hip, from f---ing on the concrete floor, is starting to fade. This is the kind of thing that confirms my opinion that most pornographers have little or no experience with real sex -- I'm supposed to be howling "Harder, deeper," and because there's no resililency to concrete, my partner CAN'T go harder or deeper, because my spine can't flex and my hips can't get any leverage to thrust back.

So there we are on the concrete floor, having lousy sex, in uncomfortable positions, and I'm supposed to "act" (key word here) as if it is good sex, rather than simply having good sex and documenting it. Maybe the audience can't tell the difference. Maybe they've never had sex themselves. So is it deliberate? Setting up a sexual situation in which the woman will be guaranteed injury of some sort strikes me as either very misogynistic or very stupid, take your pick.

And the more I think about it, the "blowing the journalist in the bathroom" scenario is hysterical. What does it say about a guy when his sexual thrills come from being blown by a slut in a bathroom? (I'm not really a slut -- I just play one on TV. But it seems to work for men who aren't interested in the difference.) Does he make his wife dress up like a whore and blow him in the bathroom? Or does he have lousy sex with his wife, because good girls lie there like cold fish, and need the other because he married someone he coveted who could care less about his sexual needs? Maybe he's even afraid to share them!

And the big ol' scary Jack Hammer. Took my roommate to work yesterday at a T. Bone shoot, where he worked with Jack, Kitten and some others doing dialogue. Jack couldn't even acknowledge my existence as the shoot broke up and Tobi and I came to pick up Lucky. Makes me wonder whether all those "I'm connected with the Hell's Angels" stories are true. Such a tough guy should have nothing to fear from a nice little middle-aged Jewish lady. I'll bet he did prison time for something major, like breaking into vending machines or puking in the back of a patrol car.

Speaking of Lucky, people seem to think he's my "boyfriend." He is not. I do not have a boyfriend. I do not want a boyfriend. My husband died a few months ago, and I was in love with him. David Hardman treated me atrociously, and I was so incredibly close to David that the damage he did still resonates throughout my being all the time I'm conscious and sometimes in my dreams. At the bukkake, the security guards referred to Lucky as my "boyfriend."

At his shoot for Bowen, he says people did the same. I am not having personal sex with Lucky or with anyone else. He may be my roommate or my friend, and I think he would make a fabulous boyfriend for the right woman, whom he is totally welcome to bring home (I've given him the kingsize bed Bruce and I shared which I could not sleep in alone.)

I'm not ready for a boyfriend. How could I get involved with someone in a respectful fashion, when I still have a gaping emotional black hole where Dave Hardman left my life?

Didn't smoke any pot at all since Friday morning, and didn't take any Valium or Xanax until this morning. I did my workout this morning and then realized that I really felt like screaming hysterically in emotional agony, instead of spending the day writing like I'd planned. So I took a Xanax (fast acting, good for a couple hours) and then a Valium (slow acting, but longer lasting). I don't want to smoke pot for at least a few weeks, as I've had some respiratory problems that lead me to think my lungs could use a break.

And I've tried to translate the emotional agony into a letter to my friend, Lukey, who understands what it means to be "obsessed" with sex and yet not want to be physically touched, and I sublimate my craving for physical contact into hugging and kissing and wrestling with my beautiful dog. How am I supposed to make porno when the thought of sex still makes me want David, David, David....? I can't even masturbate without thinking of David. So I guess I'm going to start planning my exit from porn after all these years... It's time for a new life, I think. Please don't think less of me.

Remax writes Luke: I have read most of your book on the History of X(rated film), as well as a number of your articles and subjects brought up on your web site. At least you show all sides of the issue. The main reason why I write this to you is to mention about 2 censorship experiences that I have incurred while trying to purchase 2 books within the last 2 months. The first occurred in Sept. When I heard about your book on the History of X on the TV show "Fox Files", it sounded very interesting, since I had not seen a full blown historical write-up on the genre. I went to "special order" this book at a Borders Bookstore in Pleasanton, CA(they said at that time that the book was due out on a certain date). About 1 week later, the store called me & mentioned that "the publisher had decided to cancel the publication of the book" (An exact quote) I didn't think much about this until Oct 23rd. On that date, I went to that same Borders bokstore to order a book that I had seen reviewed that morning in the San Francisco Chronicle book review section called "Times Square Red, Times Square Blue" by Samuel Delany which talked about the redevelopment of Times Square by corporations like Disney and others.

The book largely argued against Disney's (along with the City of New York) redevelopment of 42nd St & the closing of porno theaters and other spots that the author argued was socially necessary. (About half the book describes the author's personal experiences in those movie houses over a 15 yr period. He does also admit that the theatres were largely sites for homosexual activity. The second half of the book is a rhetorical argument about the redevelopment efforts.) Anyway, when I went to Borders, they did not have the book in stock, nor had they "heard" of it. (Amusingly, one of the clerks thought that it was about Communism. I guess it must be hard to get good, knowledgeable help) Fortunately, I decided to go on line at Amazon.com to look for Delany's book to order it & discovered your book History of X as a link, so I bought your book too. I personally think that Borders practices what I call "selective censorship".

They wouldn't carry your book nor Delany's but yet they do carry stuff like various volumes of the "X-Rated Videotape Guide", "The Porn Stars Directory", "A Woman's Guide to Erotic Videos", books celebrating history of Playboy Pictorials, and the ilk. (There are even NC-17 films like "In the Realm of the Senses" in stock) Is it because your book is critical of the porn industry? Is it because Delany is a noted award winning "Gay" author? Well, in the future, I think I will stick to on-line retailers for my reading materials. I thought I would bring this to your attention & see if anyone else has had problems trying to buy your book from Borders or any of the other chains.

Nikkifan writes: Luke, I read a chat log on your website that included a mention of Nikki Dial. One guy who was totally obsessed with her it seemed and Jenteal were discussing her potential on the Web. I know very little about the current porn scene, I kinda lost interest in it at about the time Nikki Dial got into it so I don't know anything about Jenteal, seems like a sweetheart and brighter that your average bare:) I'm an adult webmaster myself and I applaud Jenteal for taking care of her own website and those of her friends. From what I can see the porn starlets are being taken advantage of on the Net. I'd love to see what companies like Atlas are actually paying the name porn stars they create sites for. A girl with any name recognition in the business should be able to at least make herself 100,000/year from a personal website, if she's willing to at least commit a day per week to working with the webmaster.

Back to Nikki Dial, I agree with Obsessed Guy, she was the bomb, my personal favorite along with Christy Canyon......s--- this is bringing back memories of my early 20s monkey spankin days! Another favorite of mine was a chick I hardly ever see mention of, maybe because she didn't do many vids- Cassidy......girl had maybe the greatest ass i've ever seen. The other girl who made me drool was an Italian import who I only saw once in a scene with I think Tom Byron, Angelica Bella..damn she was fine! Ok, back to Nikki. There's a real cool Web tool at goto.com the search engine that tracks how many times a keyword is searched monthly so I wondered how much interest there still was for Nikki Dial. It would seem considerable interest, she was the subject of 26% more searches than Jenteal in September, in the same search count neighborhood as Asia Carrera and Jill Kelly :) If you or anybody knows Nikki tell her if she's interested I'd be more than happy to get a website up and running for her. Of course provided she was willing to spend at least a day a week working on it.