Sunday, August 22nd, 1999
Mythologist Joseph Campbell writes about Luke F-rd's journey into porn:
"A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder; fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won; the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man."
Dr. Susan Block Hosts Luke F-rd
In the spring of 1997, Luke first met sex therapist Dr. Susan Block and her convert to Judaism husband Max, a legendary porn publisher from the 1970s. They then did their show from a villa in the Hollywood Hills. While I skulked in the background that evening, I thought that I would make a good guest one day. Saturday night my day arrived.
I drove down to their building on Hope Street and passed through security inside. The former speakeasy and whorehouse, decorated with erotic art, reflects the couple's personalities. Max was a friendly host. I sparred with him and his wife Dr. Block from 11PM to 1AM while sitting in bed with Susie surrounded by dildos and other sex toys.
NJG: luke I heard your interview NJG: dr. block asked about me THREE times NJG: I noticed that a few weeks ago you said you had only had sex with 4 women, now it's upped to 10 NJG: hmmm Luzdedos1: no that was for the past 3 years Luzdedos1: You are a star baby, don't let it change you. NJG: lol my friend saw it NJG: and loves it. he was pissed at your questions about the rape thing NJG: because he loves me a lot NJG: well I was gonna call in and bust you big time Luzdedos1: why? NJG: the last interview you said "4 women in 3 years" NJG: this time it was "10 women" NJG: you've been busy NJG: then, you are trying to be so spiritual NJG: and saying "show us your tits" NJG: you are being so holier than thou then you say that NJG: that's not respectful towards women NJG: anyways, my friend is sort of an ex. But I never slept with him. He was married NJG: we had a really intense thing NJG: I don't love him anymore though NJG: but he's friends with Irvine Welsh of Trainspotting fame NJG: when I went to see Po Bronson, Po mentioned him. NJG: I told him this last night Luzdedos1: Oh sorry, I got carried away.
Luzdedos1: sorry, abortion is a sin darling. NJG: then why do have sex? NJG: why do YOU have sex? NJG: You could make one of these women pregnant NJG: Luke you are having tons of sex without love Luzdedos1: Yes true, but I use a condom NJG: condoms break! Luzdedos1: I had nookie yesterday afternoon. NJG: duh I knew it Luzdedos1: After shul. NJG: I could feel it NJG: you are talking to a very psychic girl here Luzdedos1: :) NJG: Luke I want to talk to you about this abortion thing! Luzdedos1: ok NJG: you are so wrong NJG: if you don't believe in abortion, don't have sex NJG: I mean it Luzdedos1: Abortion is killing, it is wrong, sinful. NJG: so it's ok if the f---ed up 14 year old with the crack mother down the hall from me has a baby? NJG: babies should be born into that? NJG: is that what your saying? NJG: and the state should pay for that? NJG: you and I NJG: ? NJG: and any girl you may get pregnant are you going to marry her?? NJG: what if you get all 3 or 4 girls pregnant? You can't marry them all?
NJG phoned: "Dr. Susan Block reminds me of my real mom. She scares me. Just the way you talked and the way that she is married to a schlub like my mom..."
Luke: "Must be very painful for you. But I don't think that Dr. Block has kids."
NJG: "Good, she shouldn't. My mom shouldn't have either...
"You were really good on the show... Now it's ten girls... You're so pathetic... About six girls in the last few weeks. I thought Dr. Block was coming on to you and getting really close and you were scooting really far away..."
Luke: "I wanted to stay faithful to you.
"If these chicks got pregnant, I'd have them put up the kids for abortion."
NJG: "Some women are really fertile."
Luke: "Not the chicks I schmush."
NJG: "Cause they're Jewish? You're an antisemite. You hate Jewish chicks. It's the Marlon Brando sydrome. He's only into those chicks who are exotic because he thinks he can dominate. You have the same thing going on..."
Luke: "I worship Jewish women."
NJG: "No you don't. You don't worship me. You worship executive chick. That's the only chick you worship and she isn't at all like you."
Luke: "I have a lot of needs."
NJG: "Really? What are they?"
Luke: "To be fellated."
NJG: "That's the only thing you need from women, isn't it?"
Luke: "Yeah, on their knees, sucking my cock."
NJG: "That's so sad."
Luke: "Yeah, it is. I'm pretty cut up about it."
NJG: "You shouldn't have sex without love. You're going to regret this."
NJG: "Do you prefer easy women?"
Luke: "In some ways..."
NJG: "Because?"
Luke: "I get fellated quicker."
NJG: "And you don't have to deal with their emotions?"
Luke: "Yeah, I only have to deal with their sucking."
NJG: "Maybe they sleep with you right away because they really like you and they want you to be there for them. You're so mean."
Luke: "I don't force them to suck my cock."
NJG: "I hate her husband... He reminds me of my grandfather who incested me..."
Luke: "Oh, we never talked about that."
NJG: "No, we're going to have to."
Luke: "When did this happen?"
NJG: "When I was twelve."
Luke: "And what did he do?"
NJG: "We'll talk about it another time. You love me don't you?"
Luke: "I love you like Sunday morning."
NJG: "Oh Luke..."
Luke: "You're easy like Sunday morning..."
NJG: "As I left work on Friday, I took several kleenexes with me, because I thought you were leaving for Israel... And I was crying."
Luke: "That's beautiful."
NJG: "Isn't that beautiful?"
Luke: "Yes, I'm going to cry myself here..."
NJG: "Isn't that sweet? Aren't I just all emotions?"
Luke: "You are."
NJG: "Because you don't have any. I have enough for both of us."
From Dr. Block: This Saturday night’s Dr. Susan Block Show will have two special guests. One will be Luke F-rd, adult industry provocateur, featured in Rolling Stone’s recent summer “hotlist,” also known as the “Matt Drudge of Porn,” author of the best-selling “A History of X,” scion of a Christian evangelical preacher, convert to Orthodox Judaism, archenemy of the kings and queens of American porn, admitted prevaricator, obsessed satirist, and nemesis of HBO’s Emmy-nominated Sex and the City’s producer Darren Star. Dr. Block’s other guest will be Richard Brent, called “the only documented naturally mutli-orgasmic male,” in Playboy Magazine, having achieved six natural, fully ejaculatory orgasms in 36 minutes at the age of 35 in the study conducted by Rutger’s University.
The program will be broadcast live from BlockStudios, in its entirety, and can be viewed FREE at www.drsusanblock.com, starting at about 10:30 PM (PT). It can also be seen live on iFriends.net, and will be shown subsequently among archived programs in Dr. Block’s Erotic Theater of the Mind, and edited for broadcast later as a half-hour episode of Dr. Block’s weekly TV program airing on cable stations throughout the Greater LA area, as well as in various locations around the world.
Pornpro writes about Sin City's new magazine venture with Hustler: "Does anyone else find it rather amusing that the first thing in recent recollection that Sin City publicly brags about is someone else's project? "
Porn Goes Public
Pat Riley writes on RAME: Why do you conclude that the porn business on the web is "wonderfully profitable"? It seems we have a lot of vague articles stating this but really no firm numbers and some rumors of vast exaggeration for those that have considered or tried to go public. One article I read said that three or four years ago was the time to get into this business but now new start-ups are finding the going tough and the older sites are struggling. The fines levied by Visa for chargebacks and the sharp business practices of many of the sites are not an indication of a stable thriving industry.
>My non-MBA advice to porn businesses: stay private, rake in the dough, >and cry yourself all the way to the bank.
Oh, dear! You're not a consultant are you?
NiceJewishGirl Goes to Shul
NJG writes: Luke, shul was dorky. The infamous Rabbi Michael Learned, he is good, but he is...happy. He said some really good things about the inner battles we have. That part I liked a lot. There were gay people there, and lots of dorky looking people. And happy, smiling faces. And they brought these children in. Oy, I couldn't deal, but the icing on the cake was when he made us get up and people were dancing and singing. That was it for me. I had to get out of there. I went with my friend Perry. Then P. walked me home, and he was coming on to me! Yuck. I didn't like it. Shul was so dorky, I just couldn't deal, I had those bad visions coming back to me, like when I was young and forced to go to hebrew school, and I felt I was surrounded with nerds. I couldn't deal with it then, and I felt the same way now. Especially the everyone is supposed to act happy act. I wasn't happy. I was miserable as all get out. I was depressed. I wasn't smiling. I felt like the rebel girl and I just said to Perry, I'm leaving and he followed me out the door. We walked all the way home, we stopped in a bookstore and I bought this tibetan buddhist photo book. I don't get your dedication to judaism. I don't. I think you get a lot out of it, but I feel it is too dorky for me. I think Dennis Prager is a total dork. And that dancing! I couldn't even handle it. And I like to dance, but this "spiritual dancing" was not good. I can ballet dance on pointe, and ...oh never mind. Good for those people, they got a lot out of it. I can't deal with that kind of happy stuff. I just can't. Not only that but I've noticed these religious jewish guys are anti-abortion, and THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. What are your views? I notice that DP thinks that abortion is wrong, is that your view?
Luke: I oppose abortion.
NJG's spiritual mother Cookie writes: Mr. Luke, how long are you going to be yanking NJG's crank? She is either blind or gullible. NJG get a grip. I really believe LF should go to Israel, join a kibbutz, tote a gun and fight for something you really believe in, if you do. By the way I liked Dad's letter. He keeps the ball rolling doesn't he? What's with the gun bit? Have no fear folks LF won't use it. He and himself is the greatest love story since time began. Get a view point NJG you are being used.
Luke: "You don't understand what NJG and I share..."
Luke F-rd's Paranoia
JSmith writes: Announcing a new game for the new millenium: Luke F-rd's "PARANOIA".
Here's how and why: Sex industry personalities unwittingly expose that they are as drug users simply by openly entering the drug-infested sex-for-sale industry. So we simply expose their drug connections to the world on the Internet for all to see. Our preferred targets are the young, dumb people of porn who have limited resources,and nonexistent coping skills(that's why they use drugs in the first place). These are especially vulnerable to PARANOIA. To heighten the sense of PARANOIA we will randomly select names from within the Porn Industry from time to time as targets. Shall we begin Round 1? E-mail drug connections to l-keford.com in complete confidentiality. Include Names of dealers and kingpins, addresses, types of drugs and quantities sold. We will post ONLY their initials on this website. For every ten hits on a name we will indicate (10) next to their initials. LET THE FUN BEGIN!
Dr Pinker Takes A Stand
JSmith writes: Dr. Pinker is a life-long friend of Luke's mom and dad. He is a retired clinical psychologist with over 55 years of personal experience within the sex industry. His current interests include international terrorism with a specialty in Web warfare. He works part-time at MIT from his home computer. He has done extensive undercover work for the FBI. He has personally witnessed the destruction of countless lives by the sex industry. His message is simply: IT'S TIME TO END THE SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF HETEROSEXUAL MEN BY THE SEX INDUSTRY. To give you some of the flavor of Dr. Pinker we present Dr. Pinker's quote of a lifetime in the sex industry: THE INSIDE SECRET OF THE SEX INDUSTRY is that in reality, the women are actually competing with the men for pussy. Thus the men are FOOLS.
Here's another sample from the outspoken yet thoughtful Dr Pinker:
DR PINKER ATTEMPTS T0 CATEGORIZE THE WOMEN OF THE SEX INDUSTRY: HEALTHY HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN and the sex industry......NOT!
In fact, healthy heterosexual women are the counterpoint of the sex trade. They are ANATHEMA to the men and women of the sex industry. You will never see a book about the sex world titled ''HEALTHY HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN" because there aren't any. Incidentally, gentlemen, Playboy playmates and Hooters girls are WILDTYPES(see below) and are automatically disqualified from the category of HEALTHY HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN. HHW's are also the reason R-rated sex stays at R. They provide the essential emotional balance that keeps men's instincts from degrading to debauchery.
WILDTYPES are simply sexual boundary violators. They are most easily identified by their association with women workers in the sex industry. That is, they know sex workers(like dancers) socially. They sleep with every man they date, and are unable to create stable relationships with men because they are wild. Gentlemen, you know who they are and you love it! Unfortunately, they are also wasters of your time, resources, and genetic material. So enjoy yourself on the road to genetic termination!
DYKEWORLD.......the women of the sex industry......exposed! They want pussy as much as the horny male customers do. By the way, guys, how many of you think that women go into porn or dancing becausing they're curious about sex with men. THEY ENTER DYKEWORLD BECAUSE THEY ARE CURIOUS ABOUT SEX WITH WOMEN, my dear dumbasses. In fact, they don't go into porn because they want to see what it's like with Ray bigdick, or Paul f----in-the ass. They have the same taste for pussy that you and I do, and they'll simply DO ANYTHING TO GET NEXT TO IT! To underscore this universal truth of DYKEWORLD, I believe we should all begin using the world DYKEWORLD as THE watchword for the sex industry in the new millenium.
Dr Pinker writes a loving, open letter to Luke's parents:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I sympathize with you in your concerns for your young son. But the most important thing for you to know and accept about this young man is that HE IS LUKE. Stop disrespecting, hurling insults at him, and trying to browbeat into being your little boy again or your IDEAL OF LUKE. THERE IS ONLY ONE LUKE. He is a young man you may consider wreckless and even worthless, but he is the only Luke you will ever have.
If you don't begin to try to listen to your son and accept him for the courageous, though ambitious, young man that he is, you will only continue to push him even farther away. In fact, my theory is that the reason your son is so drawn to celebrity, is that as a celebrity, EVERYTHING he says and does is important and worthy of acknowledgement, whereas, it is obvious that in your eyes, nothing is worthy of validation. By continually criticizing Luke, you are depriving yourselves of the inner joy of watching this fine boy grow into a MAN you can be proud of.
And Luke, please tell your father he isn't nearly so wise or smart as he believes he is--he's a masturbating hypocrite just like you and me. I know, we used to masturbate together in jerk circles in Israel when he was a boy. And tell your Mom to stop mentioning that goddamn hit on the head, OR YOU'LL STUFF A f---ING SOCK DOWN HER THROAT!! She's a SECOND-GUESSING, WHINING, BETTER-THAN-THOU OLD HEN who needs to be reminded occasionally that she doesn't have a penis. (That's why she married your dad, son, because he did have one.)
Except remember to say it in your own words and in a loving way. Your parents are old and they won't be with us much longer, so try to accept their hostility towards you as the only way they know how to express their love.
Allow me to add, young man, that I believe you would learn more about manhood from an afternoon's viewing of TEENWOLF with Michael J. Fox than from all the high fa-lut'in discourse in all 27 of your Daddy's books.
Declaration of War
JSmith writes: Luke F-rd strategy session:
After extensive research of the tabloids, we have discovered that no one.....until now....has had the balls to take a stand against the promotion of smut and DECLARE WAR ON SMUT PROMOTER HOWARD STERN.
Staff psychologist Dr Rudy makes the following assessment of Stern: The reason this guy makes such a big target of himself is because his greatest fear is that his wife Allison and their kids will be vulnerable to media attack. (That was the true unconscious reason for his own vicious and highly personal attack on Cathy Lee.) His formula of sexual boundary violations and sado-criticism has worn thin, however, and we have tolerated it long enough. This man is violating our families, and invading our homes with his smut.
And so, I ask you to post the following announcement on l-keford.COM: THIS WEBSITE DECLARES AN UNPREMEDIATED, UNILATERAL AND PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE ON SMUTMAN HOWARD STERN. We are intent on bringing this man to heel, and terminating his hi-jinks and high-school targeted s---. We call on reporters at STAR, NATIONAL ENQUIRER, GLOBE, as well as any other stink-ass publications and TV tabloids that want a piece of this to stand on the ready for the biggest battle for family integrity ever!
Anyone who has a grudge against Smutman is invited to E-mail it for uncensored publication to l-keford.com, privacy assured unless you request otherwise. We're going to make you quit, you f---ing class clown, and bring you down, no holds barred!!!! Your ratings-whore advertisers will go by the wayside as well. f--- YOU AND EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY YOU REPRESENT, YOU GODDAMNED HYPROCRITE!!!