Monday,
June 11th, 2001
Fat Porners Fight Back Against Lookism
A couple of hefty outspoken controversial firebreathing female webmasters, Heather and Melody, are discussing the vital issue of obesity on Netpond.
Heather and Melody are famous for their many feuds and outspoken ways. And they both suffer from the disease of obesity.
As Melody puts it, "This [obesity] is a disease. One can only manage it, not cure it."
Unfortunately, while sharing their struggles, Heather and Melody did not receive a sensitive reception from their hard hearted male colleagues.
Chaim Amalek suggests that a good shtupping is just what overweight dykes need to put themselves into shape.
Heather, who can be humorless at times, writes Luke: "I told you not to publish anything about me ever again. Please send the contact info for your attorney. You do not have my permission to release anything in this email."
Chaim Amalek writes Luke: "IF obesity is a genetic sort of disease (I have yet to hear a fat dyke claim that it is due to a pathogen, like smallpox), then why does it seem to so less frequently affect genetically similar populations in Israel (in the case of jews) or in Europe? And the reason lesbians are so unhappy is because they have no men in their lives. A good shtupping on a regular basis by a real live man with a real live penis is worth more than all the Jenny Craig/Weight-Watcher meals you can stuff into the fridge.
"Which suggests a NEW, THERAPUTIC FORM OF WHOREDOM - shtupping women to keep their weight under control and to cure them of the disease of lesbianism/feminism. Of course this should be legal, just as seeing a sex surrogate is legal. And we could use cigarettes to help tide them over between sessions."
Here are some excerpts from this hearty discussion on Netpond:
Kimmy Kim writes on Netpond: "A single wimpy but controversial would be journalist, Luke Lapdog Ford, is obviously lacking any real news or lies so is resorting to cutting and pasting stuff he finds on Netpond. Luke is famous for his many inaccuracies and cut and paste ways. And he suffers from the disease of idiocy. As Luke puts it, "This [ignorance] is a disease. One can only manage it, not cure it." Unfortunately, while sharing his struggles, Luke does not receive a sensitive reception from his hard hearted webmaster colleagues."
Dig writes: "I went to basic training with a lot of overweight people, but I didn't come back with ANY. Doubletiming everywhere you go works miracles for the waistline."
Melody writes: "I can try for the fifth time (yes, you read that right) to lose one hundred pounds. Statistically, I have less than a one percent chance of maintaining the weight loss, due to numerous factors. This will put a further stress (greater than sustained obesity) on my heart and general health. OR, I can live with my early death sentence and be at peace with the time I have, while optimizing my health in other ways. I choose the latter. Gay men don't live as long as straight men, because of the impact of AIDS in their population. That doesn't mean they stop making the best of their situation. I know that goal-oriented people hate hearing that there are limits, but reality teaches us there are. I'm the one who has to suffer them. You don't. If anything, this business has taught me that.
"People need to feel superior to others, because of our primate roots, and one of the last respectable hatreds is of fat people. It masquerades as "concern" and "realism" and various things, but it comes down to hatred for those who are different. They need to "exact" revenge, so there are all these medical studies that cook data. The same thing happens for other groups. C'est la vie."
Heather@LatinaBucks.com writes on Netpond: "I have a very good understanding of nutrition and benefits of exercise. It took me almost a year the last time to lose 80 pounds. I kept it off for a couple of years. Then the carb cravings take over again, or some ridiculous factor takes over and up I go again.
"Unfortunately, we work in an industry that places physical beauty over everything else. Content girls that can barely spell their names are idolized, while some of the most brilliant minds in this business are villified (no, I'm not including myself in that group). Melody and many many other brilliant and worthwhile people have been "invalidated" many times by the fat-haters that claim that their only worth is the size they wear.
"Do you understand that most people with weight issues since childhood are different from people like Serge that put on weight as an adult? 30 lbs overweight is a lot to fat haters, but it's not an indication of a life-long problem. I was only about 5 lbs overweight as a child. What I was put through to try to lose those extra 5 lbs has followed me to adulthood. Anyone who was thin until adulthood couldn't possibly be facing the same issues.
"Melody was right about one thing: It's very socially acceptable to hate fat people. And people love to hate. I even ran into a fat-hating doctor..the dude had me almost suicidal before I went to another doctor. Believe it or not, not everyone gives a s---. I haven't lacked for men in my life no matter where I was on the weight scale [from 130 to 300]. The less external pressure put on me to lose weight, the more I'll lose, but only for myself, not so that some thin, ugly idiot will validate me as a person, I don't need that."
Melody writes on Netpond: "Serge, I have no modus operandi, other than to state my own experiences. I'm not trying to convert the world. Sounds like you'd like Stalin if he was a diet doctor. You "smell" whatever you like, but I know hate when I see it. As Heather has said, I've seen it all my life. It just comes in different forms.
"There is no one more "born again obnoxious" than a chunky person who has lost weight, or a non-smoker who has quit smoking, or a newly sober alcoholic. I'll forgive you for that. If you need to hate fat people, by all means, hate them. But don't try to apply your situation to one that is not the same."
Just Reading replies: you and heather are still ignoring some really simple facts. you consume more calories than you burn. You havent done anything to dispute this simple statement. The defining difference between you and i is that i chose to surround myself with and draw on success stories knowing that it would have a profound impact on me. You have chosen to surround yourself with the opposite and it has had an even greater effect on you. you lost weight before. How did you lose it? by eating less calories than you burned. why did you gain it back? by eating more calories than you were burning. you just need to understand a little more about the simple mechanics of weight loss/gain, nutrition and excercise. Like Heather said regarding the cravings. It is a legitimate problem... and easily corrected. The difference again, is that i decided to see how to correct the issue and deal with it... rather than see it as one more reason to quit.
Melody writes on Netpond: Fluke Lord, I haven't had "many feuds". In fact, I can only think of one major feud, and that one will never end. All the others have been board disagreements. I'm also far from fire-breathing. Heather and I both shoot from the hip, but she's far, far more effective with a quip than I am. She's also a much better business person. If she were male, no one would think her "fire-breathing" in the least. Also, our colleagues were misguided (and do not have first-hand knowledge), but they were far from "hard-hearted".
Heather writes on Netpond: Luke, that was utter garbage. Your idiocy is only surpassed by your obsessive ignorance. I'd suggest you go get laid..by whatever it is that will f--- you. I don't need help in that department.
Luke replies: Dear Heather and Melody: I apologize if I have phrased things in ways that have been insensitive. Let's kiss and make up. As a demonstration of good will, I will put aside my high Judaic morals and have sex with both of you without benefit of matrimony, either individually or together in the same bed. That way, we all burn off a few extra calories, as well as consume any ill will that may have developed over the years.
Melody writes on Netpond: Luke, where the HELL did lesbianism crawl into this? My sister is a lesbian, but she's thin. I'm the straight sister in the family, and I be the fat one.
Heather writes on Netpond: Luke, try to remember this name, cause he's about to crawl up your ass and roost there a while..considering how much room you have in there. Richard Chapo, Esq. If you don't send me your attorney's info per my emailed request, you'll just be served at home.
Luke says: "I've frequently noticed that when women get divorced, they take more care to look attractive. Because they are out on the market again. A couple of years ago in People magazine, there was a photo of Newt Gingrich's ex-wife who'd lost about 40 pounds, got a new hairstyle and looked terrific. And one could not help but think, if she'd only taken better care of herself, her husband would never have strayed and they would not have divorced. I think it is very important that wives make a strong effort to look sexy for their man."
Howard writes: Hey Luke, I applaud you for letting it be known that a very important part of maintaining a long term relationship requires less weight. As in my 1st marrige their should be weight clause. To be honest, if when you go to bed, and you look over, and there is an ass that looks similar to 1 of the lovely ladies in our business, Mr. Happy jumps to attention and requires constant companionship. On the other hand, if that ass just gets bigger and bigger, the only way GOING to want to f--- it is if were drunk or feel sorry for her. Keep the ASS tight and somebody will always want to sleep with it.
Fred writes: Regarding the two fat angry porners, I'll tell you a strange but true story--one that could only have happened in San Francisco. (Well, maybe Berkeley also.) A couple of years ago, Nautilus (sp?) Health Spas ran an ad campaign where the announcer said "When the space aliens land, they're going to eat the fat ones first." Obese protesters from all over the city responded by picketing in front of the health spas holding signs that said "Eat me! Eat me!"
Luke, given that I live only one hour south of SF, the thought of such a spectre looming outside my hovel keeps me from addressing this weighty subject in anything but a round-about manner. I'm certainly willing to chew the fat with anyone. I have no beef with any of these people, and I'm willing to give this massive amounts of consideration with the proper gravity. While I appreciate that it is a big issue, and to some, it looms large on the horizon, I'm afraid of biting off more than I could chew. Please explain my lack of commentary, but try to cushion the blow.
Sopornos 3 Pictures
Monday morning, I review my pictures of yesterday's Sopornos 3 shoot for VCA, and I realize deep in my heart how much I love many of these misfits.
Rob Spallone calls at 10AM: "Just put that Russ [Hampshire] gives these kids [Rob and Jim] a lot of trust and they speak highly of him."
Rob Spallone Dressed Down For Conduct Unbecoming A Pornographer
VCA owner Russell Hampshire dressed down Rob Spallone Monday for "conduct unbecoming a pornographer."
Janie writes: "It was Rob and Jim's over the top behavior at Benihannas Friday night. They need to become kinder gentler pornographers. Maybe it is the dawning of a new era. VCA wants a more benign Rob and Jim. A more polite Sopornos. A feminized woman friendly Candida Royalle type of erotica...
"Is that what the audience wants in their pornographers? Do they have any concept of what they want?
"Any blanket statement about the business is meaningless because it's so big that every conceivable type of person can be found in it. You'll find someone who's into it to provide spiritual uplift and educational self-help. And if you want to find rotten, vicious, misogynistic bastards -- you'll find them. You'll find everyone who fits the stereotype and everyone who goes against the stereotype. In the loop and disposable-porno section of our business, you'll find the carnival freak-show mentality. There has to be a geek show somewhere in our society. What ticks me off is that all of adult is classified according to the lowest that's out there. We've always been legal. Child molestation has never been in mainstream adult. We've always policed ourselves. There's no coerced sex. But there are little pipsqueaks like Rob and Jim who get their disgusting little videos out there. There's a trend in misogynistic porn, and it's upsetting. I've been in the business for more than 20 years, and I helped make it possible for these guys to make these kinds of movies. I don't believe that's what America wants to see.
"And I don't think America wants to see pornographers going into Marina Del Ray and cursing people out. And then going into a swank place like Benihana's and using bad language and prompting the girls to strip and perform sex acts in front of civilians. This is not the type of erotica for consenting adults that VCA wants to put its name behind."
On Saturday night, Rob Spallone recounted to Luke his glories the night before (which put him into Russ Hampshire's dog house):
"So we take stuff off the boat and I'm talking to Herschel [Savage] from about 20 feet away and he comes over, and instead of saying, 'Please keep the noise down...' We're in Marina Del Rey with all these million dollar yachts and I'm bulls---ting with the girls and we're talking loud and the guy comes over and says, 'You better keep the noise down or you'll be off this boat...' And I said, 'You know something? Go f--- yourself. We're leaving now. And I'm cancelling the f---ing check.'
"So he runs up and closes the door. Wayne Crews and them were still inside. He thought he was going to keep our $40,000 worth of equipment on his boat. And I go up to the door and open it and he pushes me. And I say, 'Don't you f---ing touch me or I'll kill you, you cocksucker.'
"And the wife was saying, after he throw the chink off, that her husband was a crazy man, that he would throw everyone in the water. And his wife goes, 'Call the Coast Guard.'
"So I'm screaming now at the top of my lungs, 'Call the f---ing Coast Guard. Call them now. We're shooting f---ing pornos on the yacht.' And they don't want any noise. They don't want the neighbors or s--- to know. And his wife says, 'Give him whatever he wants. Just get him out of here please.'
"Then Rod Fontana he tries to push. Rod Fontana's the size of a wall.
"After we take the stuff off the boat, the guy who did the deal says, 'How can you cancel your check?' I reply, 'Because I didn't get to finish my movie.' 'He's going to take you to court.'
"So I say, 'Here's my card. Take me to court. I'll be there with 29 people and I'll have all these girls dressed as porno girls and we're going to walk in the courtroom and I'm going to tell the judge, 'I had no problem paying him but he didn't let us finish the movie...'
"Then the boat owner tells Jim, 'That guy don't know the people I'm connected with.' People you're connected with? He's threatening me with the Mob? I tell him, 'Make any phone call you want and see what happens when you mention my name?'
"I spent a lot of money at Benihana's. Everyone was drinking. And Jim with the girls - he had them eating each other. I had some nice normal girls on the boat and he has some temper. He's crazy.
"Rich people, 95% of them, just think they're better than everyone else. This guy thought he was God's gift. He had a million dollar boat. He had a $20,000 Rolex. His Mercedes parked at the top was $100,000.
"First of all, if you have that kind of money, you don't want people renting your boat. He charged me $2000. He used $500 worth of gasoline. I hired one kid just to pick up everything. We kept the boat spotless. The guy was just a prick.
"We didn't fit in Marina Del Rey. We emptied out Benihana's in Marina Del Rey in about ten minutes. The girls were telling the cook... Cherie got drunk and told the Chinese man cooking the thing, 'Do you eat pussy?' Cherie pulled a Kendra Jade.
"We're walking into Benny Hanna. And Cherie told me, 'I can't belive you're taking these people to Benihana's. They're used to McDonalds.' And Cherie's friend calls her a fat ass. And Cherie hears this. She throws her bags on the floor and comes charging at the chick.
"So Jim's trying to chase her and he's fat and slow. I bend down and tackle her. Rod Fontana grabs the other girl. Now they're screaming and yelling.
"We come into Benihana's and Jim's telling the 40-year old woman behind the bar that we're in the porno business. I come walking in. I'm in full makeup. And the lady says, 'That guy has makeup on.' And I say, 'f--- you, you cunt.'"
Kendra Jade appeared on the Howard Stern show Monday morning.
From Marksfriggin.com:
Howard introduced Kendra Jade, High Pitch Eric and all of the others. Eric looked tired so Howard asked him why that was. He said he was just tired because he was hanging out with Hank the Dwarf on Saturday night down in Atlantic City. Bridget the Midget also spoke to Howard for a minute. Kendra Jade, Dan the Farter and Beetlejuice were also there. Howard talked to Beet about what he's been up to and we got a lot of ''Huh?'' and ''Me!?'' from him when anyone would ask him a question.
Howard sent them off to a special room where they'll start off the game by putting their hands on porn star Kendra Jade. Each hour or so they'll switch misfits. Every three hours the people will be able to take a 15 minute break.
At around 7:45 Howard checked out what was going on up in the room and said that Kendra Jade was in a bikini. Most of the people chose extremities like ankles and arms to hold on to. Howard said he's put his hand on her stomach since no one is allowed to touch breast or private parts.
Jack: Kendra Jade went from butt billionaire to hands on millionaire..is that a come down for her?..just wondering.
Why Are Escort Agencies So Greedy?
SnakeEyes writes on BigDoggie.net: I was just wondering if any agencies could justify the high commission they charge. Earlier this year I booked a couple of stars via a well-known agency. One of the ladies gave me details of how I could contact her later, and what her fees were. Booking through the agency I was paying 40% more! This was in the star's home town, so the agency couldn't even argue they were incurring any tour expenses. In other areas of showbiz agents tend to charge somewhere between 10-20% for representing their clients, so why are agencies charging such outrageous commissions? I don't mind paying high fees if that's what the girls are charging, and it's someone I really want to see. However it seems to me as if the agencies are getting extremely greedy as far as their cut's concerned.
Nici@Nicisgirls.com replies on BigDoggie.net: The standard commission in the private companionship business has always been 40%, it has been that way since as far back as the 1970's when Alex was in business. I guess you have to take into account the risk that the agency is taking, the amount of time they put into finding superb talent and the amount of money they spend marketing that talent. I actually think that the risk is enough justification. Plus, when it comes to PSE and Centerfolds, many of you guys would have never known that they were available or had the chance to meet them in the first place had it not been for the agency. You could always ask the agency to negotiate their rate but that usually only works on multiple hour bookings, for a one hour booking I think a few hundred dollars for the introduction is more than fair. Especially if you are STEALING the girls phone number! In that case you are giving the agency a few hundred dollars but you are getting to meet the girls over and over again. If it is that big of a deal you could always resell the number to your buddies for $100 each and make back what you spent for the introduction!
Sopornos 3 Shoots In The High Lancaster Desert
I drove an hour out to Lancaster Sunday morning to hang out with my friends James DiGiorgio and Rob Spallone on the set of their VCA shoot Sopornos 3.
As I go up the driveway, I spot three small Mexican kids - something you don't see often enough on a hardcore shoot.
After I park, an Israeli tough guy walks out to greet me. He pulls me aside behind the guest house and says that if I ever write one word about him on my web site, he will bury me here at this ranch.
Then I greet my buddies Rob, Jim and Wayne Crews - part of my crew who watch my back.
Jimmy tells me that VCA's top two salesmen, Marty Turkel and Ed Kail (in their '60s but still sexually vigorous) are coming over today to play two gay Jewish guys in the schmatta (clothing) business.
Jim and Rob promise that Ed and Marty will tongue kiss.
"For some reason, Marty loves you," says Jim. "But Ed Kail thinks you're a piece of s---."
I overhear Jim whine about his divorce ten years ago, how much the settlement cost him, how he could've had a big nice house except for the divorce and how much he still hates his ex-wife. The divorce sent Jimmy into some much needed therapy out of which he emerged as a struggling standup comedy who eventually found a home in smut.
T.J. Hart plays the leader of the ranch who rides around much of the day on a black stallion. Hart grew up Colorado and rides well.
Her looks are as all-American as Phildelphia 76er center Dikembe Mutombo's looks are all-African.
A non-smoker, Hart was diagnosed with throat cancer about six months ago and when she opens her mouth wide, you can see it. She's already had one operation and will have another and she should be ok. And no, the doctor says you can't catch throat cancer from oral sex.
She does the day's first sex scene with Tony Tedeschi in the barn. In porn ten years, Tony used to be married to Tina Tyler.
Like every Sopornos, the dialogue in the movie is entirely improvised.
We go down to the barns and play with the horses. Jim strokes one horse nose and says it feels like pussy. The horse breath and nibbling is warm and reassuring and tickles. Then I look at my shirt and find it is stained green with the regurgitated cud the horse chewed before he switched to my shirt.
We're in the high desert on a 15 acre ranch in the Lancaster area, at about 3000 feet elevation. There's snow on the ground here much of the winter.
The ranch owner yells at Jim for his bad lunch in front of the Mexican family who work the ranch. They're sent away before the hardcore starts.
Rob: "You can't take Jim anywhere. I took him to Playboy last week and every other word out of his mouth was the F-word. You have to give me credit - I have some class."
Rob's wife (13 years married) and kids arrived home from Florida on Thursday but Mrs. Rob is annoyed that Rob hasn't bought them a house yet. And she's annoyed that he's spent the last three days on porn sets instead of with the family.
Jim: "I'm shooting a movie here. It just happens to have sex in it. You think that I should care about is the guy at home wanking it. Yes, I have consideration for the guy wanking it but I also have a consideration for the people who buy this movie like my cable guys. VCA needs to sell this to cable. It needs to have production value, story, it's got to be like a movie with sex."
Luke: "You've been watching too much Michael Raven."
Jim checks out the horse stall where we will shoot the day's first sex scene.
Jim: "There's not as much light in here as you'd think."
Rob: "So take your sunglasses off."
Rob sings the praises of tall slim blonde T.J. Hart. "Three months before she came into this business, she was a Sunday School teacher in Colorado. She really ain't one of them."
On Saturday's shoot, Colin Malone and Jim DiGiorgio made remarks inferring that Kendra Jade enjoyed carnal relations with the N'Sync boys. And Colin claimed that the members of the boy band were doing each other.
I finally meet a guy I've read about for six years - Toby Dammit, Lynne L-patin's adopted son. He stands about 5'9", appears to weigh over 300 pounds and sports dyed red hair.
Elegant Angel owner Patrick Collins fired Toby a month ago, deciding he didn't like his boxcovers.
Toby operates Smutzine.com which he hasn't updated in 18 months because it seemed to him like nobody was reading it. And nobody seemed to care whether or not he updated the site.
I bug Jim. "Why isn't that real director, Jace Rocker, here to back you up today?"
Jim brags how he's a rare porn director who didn't enter the industry on the back of a woman.
Jim: "Michael Raven came in with his wife Sydney Steel. Bud Lee came in with Hyapatia. Jim Lane with Gail Force. Jace Rocker with Britt Morgan. Johnathan Morgan. Brad Armstrong (with Dyanna Lauren and Jenna Jameson). Jay Ashley with Kaitlyn Ashley."
Modern directors who didn't include Fred Lincoln, Jim Holliday, Antonio Passolini, Nic Andrews, Michael Ninn.
Jim next boasts about how much he invests in his career. "You know I have only $200,000 in post-production equipment. And this is my new camera. I own it. Most guys rent it. I own it [with Gigi Appleton of Avalon Distributors]. It's a Sony DSL 300."
Luke: "Jim, you're a real Jack Anderson [director in Boogie Nights]."
Jim: "I personify him. And when I get out of this business and shoot real stuff, I can shoot it with that camera. It's not a consumer camera."
The behind the scenes DVD guy Johnathan (who works in VCA's DVD department for Wit Maverick) shows up late. But he's another opportunity for Jim to boast.
Jim: "He pays $20,000 a year to Cal Arts to be a film major. I've got him here in porno. I'm his mentor. He's going to learn more here than in his four years at Cal Arts that's going to cost him $80,000. He learns more in a day on a Jim DiGiorgio set than he learns in a whole semester at Cal Arts. They should hire me at Cal Arts as a guest professor. I'll teach them how to make movies for no money.
"Johnathan, serious question. You weren't very impressed on the boat. But you were yesterday [Saturday]? Yes."
I mention Wit Maverick and that provides another opportunity for Jim to boast.
Jim: "Wit's my man. Me and Wit are going to shake up the whole world. Because I came up with an idea that Wit helped me develop further for the DVD application. It's going to shake up the whole world of interactive DVDs. The year after next year, they're going to give us trophies. The name of the show Firedancing. Enough said."
It's never enough said though when it comes to James DiGiorgio and his brilliance.
Frank Rich wrote about Wit in his laughable May 20th piece in the New York Times Sunday Magazine:
But VCA aims far higher than merely recycling golden oldies. In a windowless VCA office, I meet Wit Maverick, the head of its DVD production unit. He is 37, and with his blue Oxford shirt, goatee and glasses, he could be a professor somewhere -- perhaps at Cal Arts, where he got a masters in film directing. He ended up at VCA, he says, because it was "the best opportunity to push the envelope of technology."
Maverick knocks mainstream studios for providing only a linear cinematic experience on their DVD's. "There's a great hubris in Hollywood," he says. "They think the way the director made the film is the only way the story can be told. We have a lot more humility. If a viewer wants something different, we give it to him." As an example he cites "Being With Juli Ashton," VCA's take on "Being John Malkovich." The viewer, Maverick says, "can go inside the head of the person having sex with Juli Ashton, male or female. He can choose which character to follow. He can re-edit the movie. Would James Cameron let anyone do that with 'Titanic'?
"I feel like filmmakers 100 years ago," Maverick continues. "It's a great technology, but we still don't know what to do with it. A hundred years from now I want grad students to read what I've done on DVD the way I read about D.W. Griffith."
I spend much of the morning schmoozing with tall blonde T.J. Hart who was introduced to the industry by Julian. Hart planned to move from Colorado to Julian's Los Angeles apartment in early 1998. But the day before she was to leave Colorado, Julian called her and said, 'I don't think it would be a good idea for us to live together because I don't want a girlfriend right now.'
"And he went right back to Stacy Valentine. And Stacy's a great person."
Jim: "No, you're a much greater person."
T.J.: "She's really nice."
Jim: "No, you're a much greater person. Let me tell you why. Because she stupidly turned down the lead of Sopornos 1. She met us two days before the shoot and said, 'I'm not doing it.' She didn't have enough faith in us. Because there wasn't a script. She thought it was going to be a piece of s--- and it turned out to be one of their biggest hits of the year. And that did her a lot of good at VCA when that happened. That's why she's not there."
T.J.: "Maybe she was tired or something... I'm sorry..."
Jim: "It was all downhill from there."
T.J.: "I just wanted him [Julian] to be honest."
Jim: "Julian's a good guy. I like Julian."
T.J.: "Yes. He's an interesting person."
Jim: "He's a plumber now."
T.J.: "I thought he was doing fiber-optics."
Jim: "I heard he's a plumber which means he shows his butt crack all the time... See how humorous I am Luke, don't you wish you could have my wit? You think you can just get on in life with your boyish good looks."
The 35-year old Luke got carded when he bought a bottle of wine Sunday night.
Jim: "But what has it gotten you? Nothing. You're pathetic. You're miserable. If you and I walked into a bar, the odds are that between my wit and charm and your boyish good looks, I'm getting laid and you ain't."
Luke: "But that's because I'm more discriminating about the type of women I go to bed with."
Jim: "That's because you have vagina phobia."
Jim turns to T.J.: "He won't lick pussy."
T.J.: "Most Jewish guys won't."
Jim: "They're afraid of it."
T.J.: "No... Hungarian men don't like their wives to give blowjobs. Because those are the lips that kiss their kids. They like their mistresses to give blowjobs."
Jim: "That's after they're married. Before they're married, it's 'Suck my dick, bitch.'"
Luke: "It's just not dignified."
Jim: "Blowjobs?"
Luke: "No, I like getting blowjobs."
Jim: "So a girl on her knees sucking your dick is dignified but you getting down between her legs is undignified?"
Luke: "It just doesn't feel right for me. I realize that's a little inconsistent."
Toby: "How did Lynne [L-patin] feel about that?"
Luke: "I've never had sex with Lynne."
Toby: "Come on Luke. Tell us the truth. She was like a mother to me."
Rob boasts that all $30,000 of his production budget will show up on the screen.
"We have limos, horses, yachts, trucks and vans. Everything but a plane. I'll have to talk to Russ."
Hart: "Never tell me that I can't do anything, just because I'm a girl."
Rob: "You can't suck my dick."
Hart says she no longer receives as many calls from drunk male friends in bars asking to be picked up.
"I no longer take them home, put them in bed and make sure they have a bucket to puke in."
Tony Romano drives up in reckless dramatic fashion, leaving a wave of dust. Tattoos cover one arm. Tall, solid and muscular, he radiates testosterone. He's picked up about a half dozen traffic tickets in the last few months.
About a year ago, Tony, who mainly makes his living from construction work, injured his back in a car accident. So he got into porn while waiting for it to heal and has done about 30 scenes.
Toby Dammit gives me the real story on that purported sale of Elegant Angel a year ago. One night, Patrick Collins watched a CNN documentary on the porn industry that focused on Max Hardcore. Being a sensitive soul, Pat was so disturbed by what he saw that he decided he needed to leave the industry and spend more time with his family. He talked it over with his general manager Dion Garusso and Dion said, "Pat, why don't you sell to me?"
So Collins took him up on the offer and began spending more time with his family. But then Pat got bored and started spending more of his time back in the office. And after a while, he decided he wanted the company back.
I hear that Dale Dabone and Alec Metro recently got in a fight and that both of them ended up in jail.
I hear that if you go to one of the anger management classes in the San Fernando Valley, you can run into four or five male porn performers. Virtually all the male porners have prison records. What is the status of Randy Spears?
T.J. Hart secured a fighting part in the new TV show Battledome until somebody told a producer that she was a porn star. Then she got fired.
2PM: Ed Kail and Marty Turkel are playing the two Jewish poofters who complain to Bobby Soporno (Rob Spallone) about blacks trying to shake them down.
Marty: "Bobby, it's the niggers."
Jim: "No, no, no... Russ will never let us get away with that. Call them moolies or darkies or schwartzes."
Discussions over what type of racist slurs VCA owner Russ Hampshire will allow in the film take up much of the day. Everybody's particularly careful about how Jews are described because Russ doesn't want to get accused of anti-Semitism again on my web site.
Marty's brought along his beautiful wife of 44 years - Lynne. They're grandparents. Marty and Ed were going to tongue kiss but Marty's five year old grandkid talked them out of it. Kail's twice divorced and single.
Turkel started in porno in the late 1960s, shooting 8mm loops in New York. He moved to Los Angeles and VCA in 1980.
For some reason, Marty genuinely likes me, though he's convinced that I am a Donny Brasco (a plant from law enforcement).
Marty and Lynne find that as they age, they become increasingly conservative.
Kail fires some questions at me.
Ed: "Do you like the business?"
Luke: "No, I think it is morally destructive - for the people who make the product and who sell it and who use it..."
Marty and Ed agree that the female performers in the industry tend to get chewed up. They share the consensus industry view of the folks behind the camera - they don't understand why any woman would work in porno unless she was psychologically damaged.
Nobody needs to understand why men like to have sex on camera.
VCA contract girl Julie Meadows arrives about 2PM. Soon after, the ranch owner begins yelling at her for walking around naked. He doesn't want to offend his neighbors.
We reminisce about the time two SWAT teams and a helicopter came by Rob's shooting house on Grimes Avenue in Woodland Hills 18 months ago. Law enforcement knew that Spallone knew where a certain man was kidnapped.
I did not get an erection once on set today. The most erotic excitement I felt came from flirting with a coquettish black girl named Bronze. In the business two years, she's done about 40 pornographic movies. She's worked constantly for Playboy over the past year, appearing on Sex Court, Night Calls, and Night Calls 411. Sunday she performed with Mr. Marcus.
About an hour after I introduced myself, she suddenly remembered me as the guy writing gossip about her best friend Cheyenne Silver, the Vivid girl.
Bronze says I confuse her. She wonders how so much bile can flow from someone who appears so angelic.
I meet Alex Foxe who lives with Marianne Walter and her husband Wesley Emerson. Alex is returning to porno after six months on the East Coast.
Foxe entered stripping around 1994. She began nude modeling in 1997 (appeared in Penthouse in 1998) and porno on November 18, 1999. She's done about 30 movies. Alex played a stripper in Sopornos 2.
Her first boy-girl scene came with Michael J. Cox in Wicked's Bordello Blues. Alex, a switch, appears in numerous bondage movies. "After you beat me, I get to beat you."
Alex sunbathes topless much of the afternoon.
Luke: "Do you have breast implants?"
Alex: "I don't know. What do you think?"
Luke: "I can't tell."
Alex: "That's a good thing. There's your answer. We don't know."
In 1999, Alex began working on the internet, doing chat for Skye Blue. Skye talked Alex into doing her first adult movie in late 1999 with Sindee Coxx.
VCA doesn't do interracial sex scenes any more because they know that stores in the South fear obscenity prosecutions.
"Not many companies do interracial anymore," says Rob.
Today's shoot does include the token black scene, pitting Bronze with Mr. Marcus.
Today's shoot contains lots of interracial affection but it doesn't show up on camera. But behind the scenes, Mr. Marcus gets affectionate with several white girls including T.J. Hart and Alex Foxe.
In my humble opinion, blacks seem to need less makeup before they go on camera.
Jim: "Rob hasn't done one thing all weekend. All he does is sit around and wait for his close-up. He thinks he's a big shot. I'll be carrying him on my coattails into William Morris."
Rob: "I've had to yell at him to hurry up all weekend long. I made the story up."
Jim says if they made the movie Rob's way, it would consist 90% of scenes of Rob killing people.
Rob warns me repeatedly Sunday afternoon that I am not to write anything negative. Truth is, I have nothing negative to report.
I did see Spallone out in the garden patch sticking cucumbers up his rectum.
The real truth is, Rob almost never reads me. He relies on other people telling him what I wrote. So unless someone tells him about the cucumber report, he will remain blissfully ignorant and I won't get any angry phone calls from him telling me to take stuff down.
Rob may seem dumb but he's really a smart guy. I often couch things in sophisticated language so nobody can accuse me of writing something bad. But the underlying message in my words is bad. Because Rob doesn't worry about the surface appearance of what I write, instead relying on the effect of my words, Spallone cuts to the bottom line. If I write something that upsets someone important to him, than I get in trouble. If I don't, I don't.
Porners interested in renting the Agua Dulce ranch can call 818-692-6969.
Brandy Alexandre vs Gregory Bowman
Gregory Bowman writes: With all due respect to Brandy, she doesn't quite tell the truth. She forwarded copious amounts of material on the FSC and discussed via Email ways to obtain records. I suggested she talk with Gene Ross or Mike South in which she replied "they don't like her very much". For her to say that she merely sent me information on Garth Fisher is inaccurate; and moreover; I never asked her for the information. She seems to like to throw the match on the fire and walk away without taking responsibility. Brandy, like Timlake, you thive on OTHERS lives.....heres a dollar.....go buy your own.
Brandy Replies: I beg your pardon, but you have no basis on which to be calling me a liar. I forwarded things to you because you asked a gazillion questions and I thought you should do your own work if it meant that much to you. I sent you resource links, not information. You were having trouble with your obsessive research and so I managed to gather a number of links useful to your cause in a matter of minutes. I sent you the license info on [Dr Garth] Fisher, and that's ALL I sent you. Whenever you have shown an interest in something, and knowing how feeble you are at finding information, I thought I would just be nice and help you out like the other times you've turned to me looking for a comrade in your crusades. I even prefaced the email with something to the effect of not wanting to involve myself in it, just wanted you to know that the med board was indicating his license had been canceled. Your response was uncalled for, as is this latest missive written for no other reason than I seem to have "hurt your wiittle feelins" with such an accurate assessment of your mental balance.
Gregory Bowman replies: Luke; its funny that Brandys whole controversy in her own mind stems from this initial comment I posted:
"I wholeheartedly agree with Jenna Jameson's description of Dr. Garth Fisher. He was kind, patient and sincere, explaining the entire procedure and I am very happy with my new set of breasts. Now I really am not in the need of female companionship since I just stay at home all day long and play with them. Of course I would love to compare with Jenna sometime if she would so desire."
I read this and see no request for information. And unsolicited, I receive her "facts" that Dr. Fisher is unlicenced. It appears that Brandy is one who sits on her hands until the opportunity arises to cause conflict rather than solve matters by sending false information while saying "im not involved". Now I know why, even by her own admission, everyone stays away from her.
Super Match Making Mitzvahs
Jackie writes: I always remember hearing a bit of Jewish folklore about how it is a mitzvah to make a match, but there is some kind of super-mitzvah to be responsible for three or more marriages...have you ever heard of this?...is it somewhere in the Talmud? or is it just something I have imagined?
Fred answers: Answer: Yes, it is a mitzvah for each friend who you fix up in a marriage, but for each of those marriages that ends in divorce, you face a deduction. On the other hand, if you fix up two goyim, you only get half credit. For a mixed marriage, you get two deductions, but you can depreciate those deductions over the life of the marriage, and when they get divorced, you get a 20% rebate on your mitzvah count.
Dennis Prager writes on LATimes.com: The likely execution of Timothy McVeigh has presented opponents of capital punishment with a serious dilemma. None of their usual arguments for keeping all murderers alive applies here: McVeigh is not a member of a minority group, his guilt is not in doubt, and he had the highest caliber defense. Moreover, all polls indicate that most Americans--even a majority of opponents of capital punishment--support McVeigh's execution.
Consequently, opponents have launched a particularly vigorous campaign against executing murderers. Given the fervor and ubiquity of editorial opposition to capital punishment and the belief of increasing numbers of religious people that it is always immoral, it is a good time to rebut these arguments.
First, we who support capital punishment for murder--and only for murder--ask opponents to acknowledge that allowing all murderers to keep their lives after deliberately taking others' lives is, at the very least, unjust. If a man steals your bicycle and society allows him to keep and ride around on that bicycle, most of us would find that profoundly unjust. Why, then, is it just to allow everyone who steals a life to keep his own?
Dennis Prager writes for the Wall Street Journal editorial page June 8, 2001:
The disproportionate and often unseemly media attention given to the president's daughter, Jenna, cited twice for underage drinking, may have at least one positive effect -- forcing the country to rethink its drinking laws. You need to have a pretty hard heart to believe that a 19-year-old woman deserves to be reported to the police and punished by a court -- not to mention nationally humiliated and publicly psychoanalyzed -- for ordering a margarita.
Finally a truly wise society might consider my producer Charlie Richards's idea: Switch the age of drinking with that of voting. Personally, I'd sooner trust the majority of 18-year-olds to drink responsibly than to vote responsibly.
As embarrassed as Jenna Bush may be after having police called in to cite her for drinking a margarita, the country ought to be even more embarrassed by such irrational treatment of a decent young woman and by the misuse of its police resources. If it is, the president and Congress should do whatever is necessary to allow the individual states to set their own drinking age. You can call it the Jenna Bush Bill. You can certainly call it compassionate conservatism.