Friday, May 25th, 2001

Kevin Moore at Stunningcurves.com writes: An inside source as informed me that adult starlet Alisha Klass will be in a new mainstream movie. She was recently in The Center of the World, which received a thumbs up from noted mainstream movie critic Roger Ebert. This new movie is a surfer comedy called Surfboards. In the movie Klass will play the leader of a teenage girl gang. Writing and directing the film will be Cody Jarret who was recently in the movie Mystery Men. Principal photography starts late Summer in LA. The movies style is along the lines of an exploitation film, similar to Russ Meyer's work.

Meni writes: "Directing the film will be Cody Jarret who was recently in the movie Mystery Men." As if that is a good thing. That was the worse movie ever made.

Brandy Alexandre writes: Alisha Klass may be in an acclaimed movie, but when the part she plays doesn't have a name, and the reference to it is only "stripper," I wouldn't promote it as if playing essentially herself in a stereotype was the reason for the thumbs up. ;)

From FilmThreat.com: Former porn legend Alisha Klass, recently seen in Center of the World, is set to star in an ultra-violent, girl-gang surf genre film in the vein of the Russ Meyer classic "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" In "Surfbroads," Alisha plays the gorgeous yet ruthless leader of a teenage girl gang whose daily activities include surfing, hustling, and (of course!)…murder. “Alisha’s perfect for the role. She walks down the street and it’s chaos.” says writer/director Cody Jarrett. This holds true following the recent tabloid & media frenzy surrounding Ms. Klass. Cover stories in the Globe, Star, and National Enquirer exploring her relationship with actor Bruce Willis; her erotic promotion for Wayne Wang’s film The Center Of The World; her top-rated weekly Playboy Channel show; regular guest appearances on Howard Stern. All eyes (and then some) are on her!

Surfbroads represents Ms Klass’ first starring role in a crossover film. “I loved the script and felt an immediate connection to it” says Alisha. “Plus, I get to kick ass; something I do rather well!”

Luke interviewed Alisha Klass by phone Friday morning.

Luke: "What's going on with you?"

Alisha: "I'm still getting over my [car] accident. And I'm taking a writing class at UCLA and working on my book every day."

Luke: "What is the writing class?"

Alisha: "A fiction writing class."

Luke: "What does it involve?"

Alisha: "I'm learning that there's a huge difference between non-fiction and fiction. And I'm learning the techniques and how to write fiction. I've been writing for Club Confidential for two years but that type of writing is different from fiction. Fiction can be from anybody's point of view. There's just so much detail to the surroundings and things like that. I'll be taking the course for eight week then in the summer I'll take courses in psychology and things like that."

Luke: "What's going on with your TV show on Playboy?"

Alisha: "It's going really well. I had a meeting yesterday and the show is taking its shape. When you have a brand new show like that, there aren't really any boundaries. So as they come up, you shape them to be better. We're getting so much positive feedback from the community. The show goes to 30 million homes and South America. Every week is different because every guest is different.

"I just had Syren on. Have you ever met her?"

Luke: "Yes, she's Asian, right?"

Alisha: "Yes she is but she's a wonderful girl. She got crazy and jumped on me. And that was fun. You have to work with whatever you have there because the show is live."

Luke: "You were born to do a show like this."

Alisha: "Right. That's why I'm really excited to do documentaries and host. It's really easy for me to carry things like that. In my adult films with Seymore, everything was improvised and it was all about stringing things together. My mind thinks as a whole. I know where to go with things. I guess it is a natural talent because it's nothing that anybody ever taught me.

"People don't see that there's an earpiece in my ear [during Alisha'a Inside Adult show on Playboy] and there are things coming up on my prompter. And the calls, you never know what is going to come out of people's mouths, the callers... We want to make the show very sexual but yet get information about the industry and the girls out. I have to sit there as the host and intermix all of this. It's not overwhelming, it's really kinda exciting. I'm just seeing more and more how talented I am in those areas.

"I create my own little openings for the show and I do my own homework to know facts about the girls and I surprise them in that way. Syren thanked me after the show for having so much knowledge about her. There are a lot of things to learn from watching Jay Leno and Opera. I just took a weekend course at UCLA called "The Art Of The Interview."

"My instructor has published eight books already. I learned from her mistakes because she got screwed in the editing process. With my book, I'm not going into William Morriss or CAA and trying to get an advancement. I'm putting the book together myself, exactly the way I want it to look, and then I will take it in and go through the process. But I will try to keep complete creative control on my book. It's not going to be your standard text. I'm creating a lot of artwork."

Luke: "You were making a documentary about your life?"

Alisha: "I've already completed that. It started out as segments I was creating for Real Rock TV in Boston. And then it evolved from taking my directing course at UCLA. My final project had to be a three minutes short. Mine turned into a 72-minute documentary which I will edit myself again. I got an A in that course.

"I have the cover and featured article in SteppinOutMagazine.com written by Chauncey Hayden who has a [daily] show on Eyada.com. And now I just got my own weekly segment [on the show] every Tuesday at 9:15AM EST. I'll be corresponding from my home.

"I just did a radio show this morning - on 97.1 "The Eagle" in Dallas and it also goes to 105.3 San Diego. They want me to do the morning show with them every morning but I have too much to do. But I am doing a weekly segment...

"I'm writing a radio press release. And Artisan Entertainment [which distributes the movie CENTER OF THE WORLD] gave me a huge list of 60 different stations around the nation.

"I'm starting to promote the Kegel Master 2000. It's a vaginal exercisor. Just like you would go into the gym and work out your bicep muscles. Well, it's the same thing. The kegel muscle enhances your sexual arousal and sexual response. It just makes your vagina muscles and kegel muscles tighter. By regularly squeezing those muscles, you'll get progressive resistance. So when you're having sex, you'll have multiple orgasms.

"I've been using it now for three months. It's a great product. There's also a silent vibrator you can order, like a silent pocket rocket. So while you're masturbating, those muscles are contracting and it is automatically doing the exercise and work for you. The pocket rocket is silent so you can hear the clicking inside your vagina as this exercisor is moving inside you.

"It's a great product for women who've had natural childbirth because when the head of the child comes through the vagina, it busts up the blood vessels and the kegel muscle. There are a lot of women who can't have orgasms after they give birth to their children.

"The Kegel Master 2000 also helps with incontinence. A lot of women after childbirth, when they laugh or run, they'll urinate because their muscle is weak.

"I know it's kinda funny because it is a vaginal exercisor but I am really going to try to educate women and get them to purchase this product because it really works.

"So I'm reaching out to the mass radio market right now to promote that. I'm basically now a partner within the company. So, instead of featuring right now because of my car accident, I'm just going to stay home and keep up with my writing and take these weekend workshops [at UCLA]. I just signed for another year with Club Confidential magazine to write my column 'Ask Alisha.'

"I've been doing all this media about the Bruce Willis thing. And it just seems that when you tell the truth of a story and not put people down that people take that to heart and back you up. I'm getting the nicest emails. I got feedback from the Howard Stern Show saying that they've never seen him be so genuinely nice to anybody.

"My grandma watched my appearance on Entertainment Tonight a few weeks ago [about Alisha's role in the premiere of the new movie CENTER OF THE WORLD]. She's proud and happy. I showed her [Alisha'a appearnce on] Howard Stern which, at first, was a little hard on her. I am very close to my grandmother. She's like my mother as my mother died when I was two. We are so close and we talk about so many things.

"I try to help my grandmother by bringing her up to speed on the world today. And I know that sometimes it is brutal. But she has been so sheltered, so if she is going to understand me and my life and who I am in this world, I want her to truly understand what I am out there doing. She will be watching my documentary.

"I had a friend over at the time... And when I walked out of the room, my grandma told my friend, 'That was a little hard for me to see.' So when my friend told me that and left, I went upstairs and talked to my grandma... 'I know that was hard for you to see but that's reality grandma. And that's who I am right now. And trust me, for Howard Stern, that was an excellent show.' And she appreciated it.

"I think it sucks when family members have to go through life not understanding the people around them, particularly if it happens to do with your sexuality and stuff like that. It shouldn't be hidden. Because it's not a bad thing."

Luke: "Has she seen any of your adult movies?"

Alisha: "Oh no. My grandmother is so naive. I remember last September, I was taking a walk with her. And I said, 'Grandma, it is so weird how many men and women around the world get in contact with me.' And we started talking about adult films. And she said, 'You mean, people masturbate to those?' I said, 'Granms, yes, of course, what did you think pornography was for.' That's how naive she was.

"But again, I think it empowers her to understand these things.

"Before I ever started stripping in Las Vegas, I thought, 'Oh no, I could never do that. You're not treated well.' But when I finally did it, I saw that it isn't like it is on TV. Now I understand it and I can educate people on the way it really is."

Luke Gets Mail

JL writes: I made the mistake of seeing Minka about a year and a half ago and had to endure....that's right ENDURE....an hour of her saying "c'mon, big boy..." over and over again....if there was something to be exited about, perhaps things would have happened quicker, if you know what I mean, god knows i wanted to get out of there asap. Not a mistake I'll make again, and I caution anyone on the bigdoggie board to spend their money wisely.....in other words on someone, ANYONE else...... I was the guy advising that a love doll would provide better service.

Chaim Amalek writes Luke: If you had to choose between the love of a fine jewish woman and doing a porn site, which would you choose? Well, many times over you have chosen the porn site. You would rather witness the occasional gangbang just to see all those men ejaculate into a common orifice than win a jewish woman for your adopted home team. You think this is not too bad, because you still think like a Christian, for whom all is forgiven in the love of Christ. Not that there is anything wrong with that - Jesus's Love is beautiful and unconditionally available to all us Christians. But as a jew, it is NOT available to you. Not until you become a Completed Jew and open your heart to the love of Christ Jesus.

Rumdar writes: Why is Luke insisting she accompany him to shul? It is a selfish request from a self centered individual. Let's not forget what a destabilizing force Luke F-rd can be. Didn't you piss off your Rabbi last week? (aside: Jewish friends, you may want to reevaluate your "open admissions" policy on who converts) I get the impression sometimes that the Rabbis at your temple would rather greet Osama Ben Liden everyday than Luke F-rd.Com.

XXX Porner writes Luke: You're right about belonging to a community. That's one thing porn and pot DO NOT have in common. Porners don't stick together... it's always competition. Pot activists are in constnt touch with one another, uplifting, planning, brainstorming, comforting, encouraging.

Fred writes: I note that Ms. Annabel Chong went for about 1 year without ever finishing or posting anything new on her web site, and now it is down. I wonder if she has decided to leave the world of porn and the public eye, as it were, and melt back into normal life. Too bad. It appears that I have lost my moral compass. Who shall I turn to now....

Goddess writes: A minister, a priest and a rabbi were enjoying the serenity of a country dipping pond. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, a group of very old ladies from town approached them. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied... "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my FACE that they would recognize."

Dianna writes: Hey...I got a picture of reader Johnny Scorpio and his wife and new baby today. He's a nice looking guy, she's a nice looking lady of Japanese descent, the baby is nice looking and they have two nice looking cats. I'm still waiting for him to send me a book about Robert Berdella, who cut up kids and fed them to his dogs.

Jeremy Steele Update

Jeremy Steele writes: Hey Luke, There's something about Selena Steele. She's my type of woman. I rediscovered her in my closet collection and jerked off to her three times today. Usually, when I'm not with a girl, I jerk off once, but I rewound the same f---ing scene three times. I didn't know of her till after I got in the business. Is there somewhere I can email or fax my bio to?

I'm busy writing my script. Damn, this takes a long time. It's for some potential investors who I gave my outline too.

www.groups.yahoo.com/group/jeremysteelefanclub is the location of my brand new fan club, where fans post pictures of me in action, (ignore the solo stuff some post, like I do) and I post information and jokes, like these:

Why was Monica Lewinsky disappointed the first time she blew the President? Because she had learned in school that Rulers have 12 inches.