Thursday, February 15th, 2001

Would You Like Fries With That?

Devoto writes: Luke, I have often thought of writing you and asking you what your thoughts were on pornography, and the role that it plays in society. BUT, then I thought, WHY? I would just end up with a snide one line remark from you, OR if I was LUCKY, you would COPY and PASTE someone else's response. Furthermore, I realize now that you are ONLY a puppet of Chaim's, and, as such, that I MUST be more intelligent than you (even WITH that remark, I am also FAR more humble than you) so why don't I simply provide MYSELF with the answer to my question. After MUCH deliberation, and observation of the personalities on your site, I have arrived at the following conclusion: porn is McDonalds.

By that I mean that porn exists to satisfy an APPETITE. An appetite for intimacy, for release, for fantasy, that can be SATISFIED rather quickly by viewing porn. In the same way McDonalds exists as a quick CURE for HUNGER, so does porn. McDonalds customer base consists of those individuals that desire a quick, easy and relatively inexpensive FIX for their cravings. Porn accomplishes the same end result, although the CRAVING it satisfies is different, the END result of "satisfaction" or FEEDING those cravings is achieved.

Mcdonalds caters to those individuals that are unable to cook for themselves because they are either too BUSY, too INEXPERIENCED, too LAZY, or too ACCUSTOM to the "quick fix". Porn caters to those same individuals. HOWEVER, if one is to USE McDonalds too often, they become OBESE, and unhealthy. The USE of porn in the EXTREME has consequences as well. The individual that fears commitment, that views women as OBJECTS, or is simply UNABLE to have their FANTASIES become REALITY often times uses porn as an OUTLET for their CRAVINGS of lust. There ARE other alternatives to porn, AND to McDonalds that are MUCH healthier. Instead of HITTING the drive-thru on your way home and simply SATISFYING your desire to EAT, try learning how to COOK, or try a NICE restaurant with HEALTHY food. Instead of popping in ASS BLASTERS VOL. 3 when you want to have SEX, try getting a PARTNER and engaging in TRUE intimacy. Cooking is a SKILL, much like the SKILL of developing healthy relationships. BOTH take time to develop, HOWEVER, both are well worth the investment.

Please do not misunderstand my views, and assume it to be an all out condemnation of pornography. I enjoy going to McDonalds, I do not eat there MUCH, but it is NICE to look at the MENU and get ideas for things to COOK UP at home!!

In closing, PORN is like McDonalds because it allows for the QUICK and "easy" satisfaction of HUNGERS. HOWEVER, both porn and McDonalds can be OVERUSED, and USED inappropriately. It is for THAT reason that individuals MUST question their OWN motives for eating at McDonalds regularly. Is it because you fear COOKING (intimacy), is it because you cant take the time to COOK (develop a healthy relationship) or is it because you are TIRED of your significant other's COOKING (need for something DIFFERENT). Don't just hit the drive thru without first asking yourself WHY?!?!?

PS WHATEVER you do, or believe, STAY away from the "McDonalds" in China Town, ANYTHING that "uses" a DOG in that way has to be WRONG!

Earl Slate Back From Extended Vacation

I talked to Earl Slate Thursday evening. He said he's back from an extended vacation. He's broke and he seeks work. He says his rates are negotiable. Call him at 818-266-6951.

Email: Hey Luke! Its Krista Leigh. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know i am looking to work as much as possible between now and june 2nd, because i am leaving and going back home to ohio.Any companies interested can email me at kristaleigh69@aol.com

RB Responds

Amber@EroticVideos.com writes Luke: I read a comment by Raw Alex, on your site that said "all the issues of RJB Telecom. Private moves of a Private company are really NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Might I suggest that you just back off?"

I'm sorry Alex but on this issue you are wrong. The financial issues of RJB are all of our concern considering the fact that their traffic comes from us and if they can't pay us then we are in fact wasting on traffic on them, when we could be sending it to a company like pussy.com (igallery.net) or whoever that actually DOES and CAN pay us. So Luke F-rd.com is only doing a public service by keeping the scary issue of RJB's current financial status in the news, so that none of us will be shocked when our RJB check isn't in the mail. I have no personal knowledge of their financial situation, I am only telling you what COULD happen.

I do however know that something IS going on because their staff is making threats against ANYONE who speaks their name, even sites that speak of them in a positive manner. That being the case, something is wrong. Why don't they want people to talk about them - even in a positive way?? Doesn't it make you wonder??

So Raw Alex, go ahead and get screwed by information you didn't know. But as for the rest of us, thank you l-keford.com for keeping us informed as to what is going on with companies that owe us money.

Rich Botto (RB) of RJB Telcom writes Luke: Dude, I'm WAY to busy to be dealing with this or playing with you today. Since Ms Stevens thinks she knows so much, I'll address this and then I have work to do.

Our business structure has NOTHING to do with the webmasters getting paid. We've made it clear that we are owed big money from many sources. Beyond that fact, conspiracy theories are just conspiracy theories.

Webmasters will get paid as they have been. Additionally, why would we discourage any positive talk...Surely, even to you, that has to make no sense.

I would argue that Raw Alex knows much more about RJB than Ms Stevens does, but what do I know, I just run the company.

Really, Luke...Just nothing to see here...We are running operations as normal...Moving along...getting back on track. I'm surprised at you, man...Thought you learned your lesson...

Now, go check the wire...I hear Brittney Andrews just cracked a nail...If you're quick enough, maybe you can scoop Gene Ross.

Luke, one more thing...let me make this perfectly clear, we are planning on being here for the long haul. We've bounced back in sound fashion...We're building, not dissolving.

And, check out the new issue of Razor Magazine on newsstands now - http://www.razormagazine.com.

Back to work.

What's Professor Jay Gertzman Up To?

Dr. Jay Gertzman (jgertzma@earthlink.net) wrote a book called "Bookleggers and Smuthounds." He checks in:

Luke: you are right, I have no experience with the porn industry and do not know any performers or film makers. I believe what you and those two wreiters say about conditions in the porn film business. I do know Michael Perkins, who writes very interesting novels with a lot of erotic scenes for Blue Moon Books, and Barney Rosset, who publishes them. But the closest I have come to how porners think and act is from books like Stoller's _Porn_, and of course your website.

I am writing a paper on films about Times Square which are set in the period 1950to 1980, when the area was very honky-tonk. I need software that will let me capture images from VCR tapes. I am rooting around in archives for court transcripts regarding how erotica was distributed and prosecuted in Times Square during that time period. I hope to be able to tell the story of how general bookshops in what was a general entertainment area for the masses became a combat zone, with the bookstores previously run by Jews becoming sex emporia which organized crime used for various purposes including money laundering and drug running. It's a sordid story involving real estate moguls, politicians and the police as well as pariah publishers, hack writers, "pin up kings," and stag film makers. The kind of horribly amoral atmosphere or zeitgeist which resulted is well captured in films of people trapped in the area. _Taxi Driver_ shows how people are affected by predators from the street and from the pulpit and political platform. So do other lesser known films.

Rumdar writes: Luke.. Let me first say that Dr. J is one of my favorite people who occasional errrr! pops up on your site and show. He is a learned gentleman who lends an air of educational credibility to the world of smut. However I wonder if the Dr. actually enjoys his research too much? For instance, whilst thumbing through the world of sleaze for a project does he ever find a book or photo which would compel him to give a few strokes to his academic wand? What percentage of his research is actually work and what percentage is fun? And is the fun portion slowing down the serious portion? In the immortal words of Sessue Hayakawa (Bridge On The River Kwai) "Be Happy In What You Do" .

DK Responds

Porn talent agent DK responds to Gene Ross on about charges this site aired a few days ago.

DK: "This Nadia girl is from Morocco. She was living with Damien Michaels. Phyllisha Ann took her away from Damien Michaels cause Damien Michaels got her hooked on crack, was pimping her out in his home to pay his rent because he couldn't pay it. So Phyllisha got her away from Damien because Damien's got a bad reputation. We all know that. So then she brought her [Nadia] to me because she knew that I would help her and I would look after her best interests. I tried to help her. She had some health problems because she wasn't taking care of herself. She was on these very hardcore drugs that Damien had got her on.

"I never pimped anyone out. And she didn't escort and I never asked her if she would.

"She's been out of the business for about a year and from what I understand, from reading this, she regrets that she ever got in the business. She had got a scholarship to play tennis at a couple of major universities. She ran away from home. Her father's wealthy. She didn't want to go to school. She wanted to get high and be irresponsible and do her own thing, so she came out here.

"Apparently Nadia was getting high with Taylor Moore because Taylor Moore is a big drug addict.

"So I got her a short-term contract with Anabolic and Chris Alexander can firm this. Taylor looked at the contract and got mad at me because one of the things they wanted to do in the contract was a gangbang. And she goes I'm not going to do a gangbang. I'm above doing a gangbang. She got mad at me."

Read the full interview at Gene Ross.

TheRealStory writes: I just want to write to you concerning DK.... First of all you should go back and look in an interview that gene ross had on his site with Keri Starr. She may not have mentioned his name, but that story's about DK. If you ask her about it I am sure she will tell you anything you want to know. She had went there to do a scene as a favor to him. The other guy that was in the scene very rude. There were a lot of problems and nothing went well for any of them. She had a problem getting paid, and eventually ended up getting back the model release that she signed. When it was all said and done they just decided to stay away from each other. As far as the interview that you have on your site today. The only thing I really can say is that he did a shoot at David Lace studios, where he could not get his dick hard. So the girl started playing with his balls and rubbing his prostate, which lead to him getting a dildo stuck up his ass. After getting the dildo in his ass, he finally got hard...So he may not suck dick, but it sounds like he likes things up his ass! Just wanted to tell you what I know.

Questions For The Moral Leader

Fred writes: LIST OF TABOOS THAT ARE USELESS AND SHOULD BE SHATTERED

1. The stigma re masturbation really should be shattered. First of all, a) it is not the least bit unhealthy--if it were, you would have died long ago. Luke--are you still out there? Luke? Luke? What happened--I was talking to you! In any event, the planet is overpopulated, and there is no reason to mindlessly procreate to the detriment of the entire planet.

2. The stigma re homosexuality is completely useless to the human race, and fundamentally immoral.

3. The stigma re miscegenation is useless and immoral--especially when it comes to cute Asian babes.

4. The taboo by the church against birth control is completely immoral and should be shattered.

Luke--there are numerous taboos from the last 20 years whose shattering should be applauded.

Luke, your clinging to certain taboos is morally wrong. Tsk tsk. I fear for your immortal soul.

Your comment regarding the necessity of the stigma for masturbation is ridiculous. You don't think people would procreate or have sex were it not for the stigma against masturbation? Oh, come on, Luke. You couldn't possibly believe that. Human instincts are too strong. If you had the choice between masturbating and being sucked off by a cute babe, would you be thinking "Gee--I could jerk off, but gosh, that social stigma! Rats! Oh well, I guess I'll succumb to societal pressure and agree to accept a blow job." Nope, I don't think that would be the Luke F-rd thought process.

On another note, I note that Jenna has taken the love of my life, Asia, to task for Asia's comments on stunningcurves.com. Sounds like somebody has an easily bruised ego. I assume that this is pretty common in porn, eh?

On another note, I'm amused by the porno video shot on school property. There are, in fact, two reasons why this was very naughty:

a) It was done on school property (presumably without school permission).

b) The three juveniles are all guilty of making kiddy porn. (Query whether they could/should all be prosecuted by Mr. Ashcroft for this.)

Luke, if a group of adults make a home-made porn video for, for example, Home Grown Video, is that a sin in your book? Howabout if I make a video, in the privacy of my own bedroom with my girlfriend, and don't share it with anybody. Is that a sin in your book? Speak, oh great authority on human ethics.

If I don't make a video, buy merely describe what happened in my diary, is that a sin?

On another note, I liked Lynne's comment about your being appointed porn journalist. I was going to write back an extremely witty comment in reply (something devastatingly funny), but I couldn't think of anything. If anyone can think of a wise crack I should have made, please let me know.

Luke says: Fred, I want to be your moral leader.

Fred responds: L-- I realize that. This is why I look to you, and you alone, for moral guidance concerning these difficult issues.

I'm trying to figure which taboos, if any, I should shatter. I'm also trying to figure out whether I should go ahead and make that video I was thinking about.

Most of the theologians and ethicists I've consulted have been frankly inadequate, so I am relying on you to guide me through the shoals of life's moral conundrums. And these are not mere humdrum conundrums, I assure you.

Luke answers: Don't think Mr Fred that I don't realize that you are mocking me and my faith. But I will answer your questions anyway. Because even if your cold secular Jewish heart is closed to the truth, there might be some readers with truly inquiring minds.

Number one and most importantly. All sex outside of monogamous heterosexual marriage is sinful. That means premarital sex, premarital blowjobs, masturbation and pornography. Why is it sinful? Because God, through Judaism, said so.

All taboos that preserve the teachings of the Babylonian Talmud are good and should not be shattered.

Adults making porno videos for Homegrown Video are sinning. Porn girls who come by my apartment to blow me are sinning. As are the nice Jewish girls from shul.

The stigma against homosexuality is absolutely essential because without it, many men wouldn't bond with women. Instead they'd just play around with other men and inanimate objects and animals. The homosexual lifestyle is highly immoral. Homosexuals, according to surveys, average over 500 lifetime sex partners. This is not the Torah way.

Writing a diary entry about making a pornographic video may not necessarily be sinful so long as you don't share it with anybody. Because if you did, you'd be encouraging and legitimating immorality. And if your diary entry becomes too lascivious, that's definitely against the Oral Law.

There is no stigma in Judaism against miscegenation (sex with other races, including the darker races) so long as you are married to your sex partner and your partner is Jewish.

Fred writes: I fear you have erred. The rules against homosexuality in the Bible and Talmud are not at all necessary. If these rules did not exist, gay men would still schtuppe gay men, and straight men would schtuppe straight women. Luke, if there were no rules against homosexuality, do you really think you would be going out and schtupping men? Really? And by the way, if you keep accusing me of having a cold heart closed to the truth, I'm going to withdraw your appointment as porn journalist.

Luke says: It is only the Torah which keeps me out of the embrace of men.

Goddess writes Luke's closest buddies, aka Helpful, Rumdar, Amalek, etc. "Hey, guys, STOP giving Luke F-rd answers to his interview."

Rumdar responds: "Next she'll be asking us to STOP writing his column for him :)"

Aghast writes: "Column! Sheeit, I have to write his Mother's Day card too."

Goddess writes: okay, okay, write the interview for him. but hurry up, will ya? i mean how long does it take you guys to figure out which Backstreet Boy is your favorite? And rumdar, don't think I didn't see those mike south comments...inbred?! grrrrr.....

Luke F-rd - The E! True Hollywood Story

Chaim Amalek writes: OK, here is the stone-cold truth. I am "Luke F-rd." Or, to be more accurate, I invented him. I met him in an internet "chat" room some years back, and hit upon this character of "Luke F-rd" as a handy way of influencing popular culture. He is the fulcrum to my mighty lever, with which I shall move the earth.

PS If you knew how "Luke" lives, you would appreciate just how inexpensive this is for me.

Two Things Luke Got Wrong Today

Raw Alex, adult webmaster, writes: Luke: Two things you managed to get wrong today.

First off, the notice from EPOCH says"And speaking of catching up, payments will soon be catching up as well. Epoch will soon return to the normal two week disbursement. We have every reason to believe that this will happen within the next 45 days if not sooner"

Can't you read? Do you have no understanding of English? EPOCH has been continually behind on payment for the last 1.5 years, give or take. What they are saying is that in the next 45 days if not sooner, they will return to their normal 2 weeks after - instead of the 4-7 weeks they have been averaging.

That isn't another nail in the coffin, sounds like things are getting better. I am NOT their biggest fan, but damn, can't you read? Give them credit when something good happens.

Second is all the issues of RJB Telcom. Private moves of a Private company are really NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Might I suggest that you just back off?

You seem to darn happy to find little things within that company and try to blow them up to the size of the moon. Wait for them to make an annoncement. No announcement - then no nothing. Why not just ask RB? I am sure he would just tell you "None of your business". :-)

Jenna Jameson Says Asia Carrera Speaks Out Of Her Ass

Jenna Jameson writes: Hey Luke, Did you see the Asia interview on stunningcurves.com? Sounds like someone is player hating. She’s obviously is speaking out of her ass. I work all day EVERY day on clubjenna.com. What a loser!

XSReality.com published this interview with Asia:

Question: Do you know any other porn girls that are into gaming? If so can you hook a brotha up?
Asia: Sorry, but I've never met another female computer geek who I could talk shop with in person, at least not in pornoland. Well, there IS Danni Ashe, but she's married, and she's never done any real porn.

Question: Who would win a 1v1 between you and Jenna Jameson?
Asia: Is this a trick question? The only way Jenna would beat me in a fragfest is if a big hairy trucker was sitting at her computer pretending to be her. (isn't that what most pornstars do when they want to simulate an online presence? Trust me, behind nearly every pornstar who claims to run her own site, there's a big hairy trucker who doesn't mind answering emails as a perpetually horny female...)

Me2 writes: The xsreality interview question " Who would win a 1v1 between you and Jenna Jameson?" had specifically to do with playing online action games such as Unreal Tournament. To the best of our knowledge, Jenna is not a gamer. Also, that email interview transpired months ago, before clubjenna.com and Jenna's involvement with it were known.

MrX writes: This silly,self important,power mad chat room Nazi Me2 is Asia Carrera's asskissing big hairy trucker!

Jenna Jameson writes Luke: Ya know it’s true she knows A LOT more about computer stuff than I do. But, I am starting a site that I am 100% hands on. She just needs to do research BEFORE she opens her mouth!

Yes, I was active in the look and feel of www.clubjenna.com. Unfortunately I didn’t have the time to design and encode the site itself. Unlike Asia, I am still an active and DESIRED model. I’d like to see her try and design a site as complex as www.clubjenna.com. Never happen… Oh, by the way, Asia how's your Flash experience? That’s what I thought!

First of all, I take pride in NOT being a gamer. Second clubjenna.com has been in the works for a year. And, I’m sure she knew that. She needs to keep her big hairy trucker comments to herself. Don’t hate the player, hate the game, ASIA!

FearZeus writes: What got up Asia's ass?? Luke, I've been to Jenna's office and I never saw a big hairy guy!! As a matter of fact not only does Jenna answer her e-mails personally....you can't get her off the computer!!! And when she's on the road....you can't get her off her laptop!! So why is Asia saying tha.....oh, wait.....I understand what's going on.....Asia is realizing that her website is looking pretty amateurish compared to Jenna's site. She has website envy!!! Listen Asia don't be upset....your site may not be a Ferrari but having a Nissan Maxima of a website is nothing to be ashamed about.

Meni writes: Luke, did Asia see Jenna's new tour? Maybe the best tour ever by MikeW of www.wyldesites.com And yes, Jenna is at the computer a lot ask the boys at www.pornstartrading.com.

Asia Carrera responds: I'm not sure what Jenna is taking offense to. I simply said that there's no way she could beat me in a fragfest, because I am a dedicated gamer, and she says herself, she "takes pride in NOT being a gamer". So where's the argument there? Why the need for a venomous attack against me? Well, that's ok... she's Jenna - I'm used to it.

Alien writes: My heart goes out to Asia on this one. Asia is indeed one of the original adult stars that have created her own site. Asia is indeed a computer freak. Jenna... Hahahhahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yeah... Oh ya got to love it. Let me see, Asia, Danni, and.... Jenna Jameson everyone! yeah.

Asia Carrara built her site to establish communications with her fans and not charge them for appreciating her, it was a move out of heart rather than commerce. That says alot. I know I know I know all the greedy business fiends can slam me for saying that as it is a primary motivation for adult webmasters these days but every once in while some one does something that is just simply nice. Asia if you read this maybe you might understand EQ RODCET NIFE SERVER. NEJENA Zone. We have meetings there all the time.

Groovy Boobies writes: Luke, Question, between Jenna and Asia, who would win the title of Miss Pretentious 2001? "Miss Menza" or "Miss Where's the money?"

Jenna writes: Asia… This was not an attack. You implied that I have a fat hairy trucker posing as myself… Simple as that. I work too hard on my site to have the likes of you blabbing about things you know nothing about. Stick to your head back in your books and try not to speak out of turn… Thanks.

Mutt writes: Hey Luke, Thanks for providing the forum for my first non-Netpond based WebmasterPissfest.com Piss of the Day! Please invite all your loyal readers to vote at http://www.webmasterpissfest.com . Congrats to Jenna, this makes her officially a webmistress! Well not really, pissing on a public board is not actually a requirement of adult webmastering but it does make you kinda legit and just ask some of the biggest pissers on the Net if it's ever hurt business. Nope! Nice job on the clubjenna.com design by Mike of wyldedesigns.com. If any of your pornstar readers are setting up sites go with a pro who knows how to design a tour. It's as much a science as it is an art. Mike's not the only great designer, just one of the good ones.

AVN Syndication To Paysites

What I don't like.

1. them placing their search box on every results page. (this is probably a personal style preference).
2. stories about other pay sites for obvious reasons.
3. stories of interest to the trade only. my visitors could care less about what goes on at adult net surprise - and i don't care for them to know in any case.
4. a dearth of graphics. if you have a story on tera patrick, include a picture.
5. the rest is stuff that can be worked out on a technical basis.

what i do like is the ability to put up various contextual links. that is where i put of a link to today's news, last 14 days reviews, etc. also that is a great search engine. my conclusion is that they don't have their act together for a consumer publication.

Luke On AdultGossip.com

I was a guest on Evan Horowitz's internet radio show around 1:30 PM PST today on AdultGossip.com. Evan owns Xpays.com along with his buddy Michael.

Read the chat here. Listen to Luke on AdultGossip.com here.

Evan: "For people at the major companies to even respond to you puts them at greater jeopardy. That adds fuel to the fire. That's why the big companies don't respond to you.

"I had a conversation with Ron [Levi] at Cybererotica and the data you have up on your site is false. I've always known Cybererotica to be very open with their business dealings as they pertain to their webmasters. Webmasters have always been able to get answers directly from Cybererotica's reps. And when you post information that comes from a competitor of these companies, you're adding fuel to a fire at a time when you don't have all your ducks in a row."

Luke: "It's rare that you have all your ducks in a row. What you do get is one or two ducks in a row and you go with what you've got. And the story either develops or fizzles out. My site will only get visitors so long as it has a substantial basis in truth.

[Luke asks: What data? Just some anonymous rumors.]

Evan: "I cut all the checks. I see that you get a lot of surfer traffic. That's an example of why the companies can't flat out ignore you.

"I thought it was really in bad taste for you to bash D$ and KB [Darren and Kevin Blatt] right as they had a passing within their inner circle."

Luke: "They're public figures..."

Evan: "Do you smoke pot?"

Evan promotes pot smoking throughout his show.

Luke: "Never. I loathe drugs."

Evan: "That explains a lot. We need to get you high. Sit you down. Instruct you. Teach you. Get you to conform. Get your site to lose all its traffic. Get you to leave all the good companies out of it."

Luke: "I just need some more therapy. It would be in the adult internet's interest to sponsor my therapist so I could get therapy every day. Then I'd be a more gentle and content person. Do you think that if I was basically a happy person I'd be out there ripping everyone on my web site? It is in Vivid Video's, and Cybererotica's and Goalie's best interests to get me into more therapy."

Evan: "I don't those guys even want to mess with you. I think they loathe being on your site. They have every reason to not support you and to try to stop you from posting things on the site that are inaccurate.

"You are not going to have any sponsors left if you post enough negative and false information to put everybody's business backwards. I don't know if you have the power to do that. I don't think that companies with 20,000 webmasters are going to lose loyalty... The webmasters are hopefully not going to be distracted by the false information that they read on your site."

Luke: "False information doesn't do any damage. It's when it contains truth, that it can damage. It's the bewildering mixture [of truth and falsehood] on my web site that makes it so lethal."

Evan: "I think thanks for doing the show. I got a lot of negative feedback... I never really announced the show until an hour to the show... It's scary to listen to you talk a lot of the time Luke because it is so obvious that you don't get the structure of the industry. I don't doubt that there's good reasons why. When you're excluded from everything and you're nobody's friend and you have no friends, how are you supposed to know the difference between doing something that is really damaging to yourself even as somebody in the adult business and then coming out with a story that is legit. But I give you a lot of credit as a hard worker. As a webmaster updating your content, you're certainly on the ball. Hopefully I will never see my company name on there. But I know that you would never hold back and that scares me."

Luke: "No I wouldn't. I like running your banners but if a legitimate story came along, I wouldn't hesitate to rip into somebody who was my sponsor."

No Sale For Elegant Angel

AVN.com reports: What started with a hefty down payment on a deal to buy Elegant Angel from owner Patrick Collins has ended with director Dion Giarusso getting his downpayment back, agreeing to stay with EA as general manager - and forming his own production company in the bargain.

Three Teens Accused Of Making Sex Video

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

MIDDLETOWN - Three Neshaminy High School students face juvenile-court action and possible expulsion from school for allegedly making a sexually explicit videotape inside the school - and showing it to classmates the next day, authorities said yesterday.

The three teens - a 15-year-old boy and two girls ages 15 and 16 - were charged by Middletown Township police with making an obscene video, indecent exposure, open lewdness, and disorderly conduct, said Police Lt. Pat McGinty of Middletown.

"One of the girls was taping the other two having intercourse," McGinty said.

Classmates of the three students said yesterday that the trio proudly demonstrated their video, showing it off with a handheld camcorder the day after it was recorded.

Senior Bob O'Donnell, 18, was among students who viewed parts of the movie. He said the girl who performed in the video showed it off in drama class.

On his nationally syndicated radio show, Dennis Prager says: How did the authorities find out? Because the students who made the porn video showed it to their classmates. Look at us have sex. Like, look at us have a cheeseburger. Here I am having a burger. Here I am having sex. Here I am doing my homework. A day in the life of a high school student.

At least the kids weren't caught smoking. They'd have been expelled.

Near the end of the Philadelphia Inquirer article, it says that a used condom was found in the auditorium. The schools understand what's important.

America's secular educators regard teens as animals. The prime concern is to keep them healthy. The message from the sophisticated and secular elite is: We know they're going to have sex anyway, so it might as well be safe. We don't want them to get any STDs. Condoms will be disbursed in room 716...

These students at this upper class suburban high school were doing exactly what they have been taught. How can any secular sex educator say, 'Boy, these students really violated everything we teach them.' They can only say, 'Really. We are proud of ourselves. There aren't going to be any STDs here. They used a condom.'

In this secular approach, sex is a fun act. That's it. And it's never too early to do it so long as you feel that you are ready and that you are safe.

What secular argument can be offered against these students? Why was it wrong? Nobody was coerced. Nobody was drunk. Every secular rule was followed.

According to the article, most of the students have no clue why many of the adults are aghast.

I don't understand why some of the adults are surprised. Did they raise their kids with the notion that the human being is created in God's image? Then why are they surprised?

I wish the Inquirer did a long essay featuring interviews with the high school students.

Remember, you don't show to other kids that which you think will turn them off. The girl had every reason to believe that the other kids would get a kick out of it.

I feel sad. It is sad that you are doing. What a jaded life. You must have little that gives you genuine joy.

We are not allowed to post and teach the Ten Commandments in public school anymore. But all societies need rules. So what rules will there be?

Here are my (Dennis Prager) understanding of the New Ten Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not use tobacco or anything else that is not good for your body.

2. Thou shalt use a condom whenever thou hast sex.

These first two commandments reflect that the overriding value is the health of the body. But what is good for the soul, character and conscience, are non issues. Maybe things for the church and the house. But the real commandments for kids today are what they ingest.

3. Thou shalt esteem thyself.

Self control is second to self esteem. In the past, it was Thou Shalt Control Thyself.

4. Thou shalt not be innocent. It is not cool.

It's the task of public schools to rob kids of innocence as soon as possible. Teach first graders about sexual harassment. Teach kids about AIDS and drugs. First graders have Britney Spears dress up parties.

5. Thou shalt not hear about God or any religious code in school.

Prager just spoke to a Florida public school. Before he went up to speak, a female friend asked him, 'You're not going to advocate God, right?' DP felt terrible. He was an outside speaker that theoretically should be allowed to say what he wants. That he has to worry about getting anybody in trouble if he mentions God is sad.

6. Thou shalt regard your teachers and all other adults as your equals.

7. Thou shalt regard animals as your equals.

8. Thou shalt dress in any way you want in school so as to better express yourself and your sexuality.

9. Thou shalt regard those who advocate sex after marriage as reactionary and regard those who elevate sex between a married man and woman above all other forms of sexual expression as bigoted and hateful.

10. Thou shalt not judge anyone else's behavior unless it violates one of these Ten Commandments.

DP says: Educators will complain about the media's sexual bombardment. They're right. But the secular educators don't do anything to counteract that bombardment. They should teach values, such as abstinence.

Few people doubt that there is far more early sexual behavior today.

I've changed my mind on this. But now I think that coed is a bad idea. I want all our schools to be same sex through high school.

DP tells a caller that it is an easier to be an atheist at a public school than to be a Republican at Princeton.

People don't know what they miss. How many kids are going to say, 'I really miss saying the Pledge of Allegiance.' Or, 'God, I would've been enriched if I had heard Mozart.' Only once you know those things can you know how valuable they are.

Gite from PornStarPalace.com writes: hey luke, The one thing that Denis Prager, Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh, and now you, Luke F-rd, have in common is they all create a straw boss, i.e. liberalism, secularism, etc. to have something to rail against. They define that entity in their own terms, so to bolster the validity to their arguments. Mostly their definitions are a far cry from reality, as are the attitudes that you project onto, so called, secular educators.

In truth, the secular among us are hardly unified and conspiratorial, such as the Religious Right tell us. To the extent they believe this, it is a total projection. The Religious Right wrote the handbook on conspiracy.

The most common belief of most people, secular or religious, is that high school age people should refrain from sexual interaction; and that is what is taught. It distracts from other activities, like sports and such, that add to the joys of being young. But if they must or choose to be defiant, as is the nature of youth, secular or not; then they should have the information and tools to protect themselves.

I was brought up in a small Midwestern town, serving my teenage years in the '50s. It's population was about 5,000 people and contained 16 churches (the highest such ratio in the country). We began each day in school with prayer and the pledge, and on assembly days, the speaker was usually a preacher or someone else with a moral message. The old maid teachers ruled with an iron will, a stiff wooden ruler, and righteous indignation. And this was in the public school, not the Christian one.

Each class, in both high schools, had 2 or 3 female students go off to stay with a distant relative every year. Sometimes they returned with the baby, and often they did not.

I've spoken with my nephews and nieces and have concluded that the extent of sexual activity is about the same now, as then.

The big difference is that unwanted pregnancies are far less frequent now.

But man, i miss those days, with a girl from the Christian School, in the back seat of my Buick, parked behind the cemetery, caught up in the throws of forbidden passion (they teach them good about ecstasy). Preacher's daughters were the best. I could only wish i had a video camera then.

And tell your pal, Denis, that in the words of the illustrious Commander Cody, I ain't never had too much fun.

Fred writes: L-- From what I gather, these kids where the school outcasts. Sort of like the Columbine kids in trench coats, except instead of shooting people, they made a sex video. By comparison, not so bad. Unfortunately, the Inquirer didn't say whether any of the kids were good looking, nor did it include any box cover photos. Oh well.

Luke Traumatized By Teens Having Sex

Lynne L-patin: I'm at school. It sounds like this high school sex thing is really upsetting you.
Luzdedos1: yes
Lynne L-patin: you abstained throughout high school and got teased for it and approached by girls, right?
Luzdedos1: sort of
Lynne L-patin: sort of teased for abstaining...even while girls hit on you?
Luzdedos1: yes
Lynne L-patin: and these teens have trivialized something you really tried hard to deal with in an ethical fashion?
Luzdedos1: yes
Lynne L-patin: and it is hard to understand why they would trivialize something meant to be sacred?
Luzdedos1: yes
Lynne L-patin: I think it goes beyond liberal or conservative politics. These are just kids, after all -- some of it is simple immaturity, not really understanding that there is more to the sex act than the purely physical. We've devalued marriage, not necessarily deliberately but the effect is still the same, to the point where saying "wait for marriage" is meaningless. We glamorize sexual attractiveness over inner beauty. Expecting love between two people is irrelevant...people who should be saying, "Wow, look at how lucky Luke is that someone loves him" laugh at me instead... I've had both trivial sex and sacred sex, and so I can speak with some authority: Trivial sex is like scratching an itch, but sacred sex is cataclysmic and miraculous. People think that because you write on porn, you are only joking about your religious values...I know my atheism really bothers you, because you can't help but realize the potential is there for me to make fun of you.
Lynne L-patin: You are right to be upset.
Lynne L-patin: Teens thinking it is groovy to make porn movies is unsettling.
Lynne L-patin: And there's way too much sex, and far too little love in this world....
Lynne L-patin: Stick to your guns, Luke F-rd...metaphorically speaking, that is.

Need To Know About Porn Whores

Samantha Sterlyng writes: "Hi Luke, this is an email that someone has sent me and he continues to send me nasty emails about these questions. I told him that I would post it on your site with his email so that anyone that felt like answering him could."

Bryan Sullivan (sullivanb@iopener.net ) writes Samantha Sterlyng:

"Why do porn whore's think their better than street whore's.

"Were you molested as a child.

"Are you a stripper.

"Are you on drug's.

"Are you insecure.

"Does your family and friend's know what you do for a living.

"Do they have any respect for you.

"Do you respect yourself.

"Do you consider yourself a respectable woman.

"Is your husband retarded,or a pimp who knows he's got a good thing in a cum drinking whore like you. Thank you for answering these question's, interested in what goes on in the mind of a porn whore. Porn actors/actresses would get more respect from mainstream America if they would tell the truth about why their in porn.

My personal thought's about people in porn: Lazy/Shiftless Insecure/Social Reject Uneducated/Can't Do Anything Else Greedy/Impatient Lack Of Attention Growing Up/Seeks Admiration From Men Men Hater's/Paying Men Back/Rebelling Against Society 100% Slutty/Drug Addict/Supporting Loser Boyfriend-Husband Severe Emotional Problem's/Needs To Be Loved And Porn Is The Way Out

""If you got the message the first time why didn't you answer the question's? DUMB BITCH! The truth must be painful. CUM DRINKING WHORE."

Bryan Sullivan writes: Luke please pass this to Samantha Sterlyng."Hi Ms. Sterlyng this is Bryan E Suliivan,your worse f---ING nightmare.Just joking.The question's i asked you to answer are question's mainstream and normal American are curious to know.And not intended to be mean spirited,sorry if your feeling's were hurt.Working in an industry that exploits women and encourage's sex with multiple,strange and less than respectable person's, you should be aware of the criticism and suspicion's it bring's.You didn't have to weep, wine and holler like a f---ING BABY to Luke F-rd.He doesn't know if you're a whore,on drug's,low self esteem,ect.That's why i asked you.IDIOT!I think you're kinda cute,that's where my curiousity kick's in.You know the drill,curious about the one you like,love,lust,hate or admire.Don't be such a stiff Ms. Sterlyng,but continue to take the STIFF ONE'S.

JRob writes: I think l'il Bryan Sullivan should be clued into the entire range of topical ointments and creams that may aid him with his, shall we say, "brevity problem." Perhaps the prostitutes he hires will be less inclined to laugh at and belittle him when he lasts longer than five seconds.

I have this mental image of him sitting naked in a dim motel room, weeping uncontrollably after having masturbated into a bible open to the "Song of Solomon," wearing a minister's collar and a superman cape while caressing a razor, and repeatedly muttering, "Stop laughing at me . . . stop laughing at me, mom."

Devoto writes: Luke, Bryan Sullivan sounds like the typical white trash male who views women as servants and has no respect for WOMEN whatsoever. Either he has been recently divorced (what woman would want to stay with a man who has CUM DRINKING WHORE in his vocabulary and ACTUALLY uses it?) or he is a closet homosexual and simply writes degrading e-mails to women when he feels the need to vent his rage at a society that he feels will never change and accept him for the bright, handsome guy he OBVIOUSLY is (insert SARCASTIC sneer here). Bryan is correct, a lot of individuals DO wonder about SOME of the questions he poses. HOWEVER, a lot of individuals ALSO wonder what possesses certain males to have such an OBVIOUS and SELF-CONSUMING hatred towards women. SO, Bryan, I have some questions for YOU:

1.) When did you FIRST join a para-military militia group?

2.) Just EXACTLY how big are the tires on your "RIG"?

3.) Are gun racks JUST for show?

4.) What are the long term benefits of an extra-wide trailer versus a regular one?

5.) HOW did you manage to keep ONLY the one FRONT tooth?

6.) At what age did you realize that by being an ASSHOLE to women could in some ways EASE your pain about being cheating out of your "endowment"?

7.) Did your mother ever kiss you or breast feed you?

8.) Did your mother ever STOP kissing you and breast feeding you?

9.) To whom in your family did you look to as a role model-your dead beat DAD, or your "he will change honey, trust me" MOM?

10.) Which do you prefer on a Saturday night after a few OLD MILWAUKEE'S, the calves or the goats?

11.) FINALLY, what makes YOU think that by degrading women YOURSELF that you are more MORAL than ANY pornographers?

Satyric writes: Devoto,do you realize that with your "questions" to Bryan Williams regarding "trailers" and "gun racks"etc you put yourself on his level of insulting people and thinking you are better than them in some way?It's like James Carvilles comment about "dragging a hundred dollar bill through a trailer park" when he was talking about Paula Jones.I'm sure alot of good decent honest people live in trailers and they wouldn't stoop as low to be a whore for the President either(I'm talking about Carville not Jones).Think about it Devoto,before you make such comments to try to make a point.Maybe you just didn't realize what you were doing...

AMber@EroticVideos.com writes: I have had a few conversations via email with Mr. Sullivan and was totally shocked at his behavior when reading the article on your site: Bryan Sullivan (sullivanb@iopener.net ) writes Samantha Sterlyng. I am responding to this because of a specific incident that happen on my first day of work. Several years ago I came to work for Kelli of EroticVideos.com. As a former stripper, now college student, I was leery of working for an adult company because I really did want to clean my life up.

On my first day at work I had the unfortunate experience of walking into my new bosses office as she was on the phone with a now ex-customer, telling him what a sleeze he was. After hanging up the phone, my new boss immediately called a meeting of all her staff to clear up an issue. Come to find out, a customer, who also happens to be a big time exec at a major computer company (Fortune 500) called Kelli to try and arrange a date with at that time a new Vivid girl Devon. He offered Kelli $5000 to arrange the fantasy date. Kelli freaked out on the guy and told him, as she later did with us - we are not pimps and porn stars, especially Vivid girls are NOT whores or hookers. They are actresses who are open enough to act out our sexual fantasies on camera. And should be treated with the upmost respect because there are few people in the world who are wonderful enough to do society such a service. Until that day, I had never really given the concept of a porn star (or starlet) a thought but Kelli was right. Porn stars do provide society a wonderful service.

So Mr. Sullivan, you were way out of line in your comments to Samantha Sterlyng. Webster's dictionary defines a whore as a prostitute. A prostitute who is someone who "offers sexual intercourse for payment". A porn star does not do that. Although at first glance you might think that - but actually it's anything but. If you go up to a porn star and say, hey baby here's $500 blow me - she'll probably call the police and have you arrested for harassment.

A "street whore" would jump on that chance and would most likely do it for as little as $20. A porn star is an ACTRESS who acts out the part of sex. If anyone has ever paid a visit to the set of a porno they will see how little sex is actually taking place. It truly is more acting then SEX.

There are obviously exceptions to this rule, just as there are in every single business. But in general, a porn STAR is not a whore. She is just a very open minded actress. Shame on you Mr. Sullivan for your needless and immature personal attacks on Miss Sterlyng. In his next email he says "sorry if I hurt your feelings". Sorry but when he said "If you got the message the first time why didn't you answer the question's? DUMB BITCH! The truth must be painful. CUM DRINKING WHORE."

OH MY GOD!! No sorry would ever be able to forgive someone calling me a dumb bitch or a cum drinking whore. Talk about way out of line. SHAME ON YOU BRYAN!!

Rumdar writes: >Isn't it equivalent to cum drinking whore, etc?

I beg your pardon. It is dinner time and I just microwaved a cheese enchilada dinner. This question at 7 pm is about at welcome as a hemorrhoid commercial on TV. Don't gross me out while I'm eating and watching the stock report. I'm beginning to think that all anyone cares about on your damned site is sex. AOL is up!

Devoto writes: Luke, Isn't it BAD enough that Bryan Sullivan is giving a BAD name to rednecks EVERYWHERE, but now it has come to MY attention that his USE of CAPITALIZATION, and his FIRST name (Bryan) has confused some of your readers into thinking he is ME! This is NOT so! PLEASE correct these individuals as I am APPALLED to be even THOUGHT of as someone who would be capable of such IGNORANT ramblings, DEGRADING remarks towards WOMEN, and an OBVIOUS self-esteem problem!

What's Up With RJB Telcom?

There isn't very much information available on this, so it's difficult to say what's going on. The nature of the transaction(s) is not at all clear. All we see is one name being replaced by two others.

Recall a few things from the FTC Preliminary Injunction:

RB etc. cannot take _any_ money out of RJBT other than a (presumably) ordinary salary.
RJBT is being monitored by a receiver.
RJBT has strict limitations on what it can do with foreign accounts and movement of capital across national boundaries.
RJBT has strict limitations on revealing its actual corporate identity on its web pages and in billing.

Benign hypothetical: In an effort to liquidify their investment, RJB accepted outside investors who purchased portions of individual websites. New ventures were incorporated to personify each of these investments/websites. In this case, each of the new ventures would be partially owned by RB/RJB, and partially by another party.

Problems with this hypo: Why international companies (if they are)? Why be so secretive about the investors?
Resolution of problems: Int'l companies because they are moving offshore due to Ashcroft/their investors are foreign/the investments represent joint ventures with existing foreign based companies.
Variation on a theme: RB etc. are having personal cash flow problems and altering their relation to the company's assets in exchange for cash.

Benign hypothetical 2: In an effort to terminate a souring partnership/separate a viable portion of the company from the rest, RJBT is being broken up into smaller units. New corporations were formed to personify these smaller units. Capital ownership in RJBT has/will be replaced by capital ownership in these new corporations. Same problems as above.

Malignant Hypothetical 1: These new ventures, which may or may not involve new capital/investors, are being formed to insulate RJB from future litigation and/or to ease the movement of their capital outside the US and/or to gain easier access to foreign accounts with fewer processing rules.

Problem with this hypo: How are they doing this under the eyes of the receiver? Why are they doing it semi-publicly? Resolutions of problem: The receivership has been dissolved (unlikely, as they'd be telling everyone) The receiver is being lax (unlikely) The little information available is there to comply with the requirements of the preliminary injunction.

Malignant Hypothetical 2: RJB did not do it, but now believe that the US is a hostile climate for them. They will go offshore to try to avoid future litigation. (This will fail, but make litigation more costly.) Moving offshore and changing incorporation will make it easier for them...

My best guess is that its a combination of benign 1 and malignant 1. Without some more details (which are available as public records from the Sec. of State of the states in which the companies are incorporated) It's pretty hard to figure out what is really going on. But its definitely not "nothing."

What are the ordinary legitimate reasons for doing this? In all honesty, its difficult to conceive of why this would be done legitimately except by a large a complex company (e.g. General Motors) that does a lot of M&A or sale-of-assets transactions, or if the relations among investors requires a complex capital structure. If you're doing M&A's, its important for tax purposes to keep what you bought/acquired separate in some way from the rest of the company.

I doubt that's the case for RJB. Sometimes in M&As, a lot of odd-ball extra companies will pop-up. Some of these exist for tax purposes, or risk spreading purposes.

An example are ERISA blockers. ERISA forbids certain pension & benefit plans from directly owning parts of some types of companies. If an ERISA plan wants to invest in a venture, with non-ERISA companies, the ERISA plan ends up with a wholly owned subsidiary (the ERISA blocker) that in turn owns a portion of the subsidiary which is the actual investment.

Somehow, I doubt that these guys are that sophisticated. I don't think any of this involved an ERISA fund, a high-yield debt offering, or anyting of the sort. More likely, this is a combination of a legitimate business transaction and a not legitimate desire to obfuscate, confuse...

Tukhman writes on Netpond: "Luke, You are getting too old with this stuff. RB is a top notch guy and whatever he does with his business is for him, why are you so in his business? It's not right."

SweetT writes: If you can't dazzle them with brilliance....baffle them with bulls---! Nice work, Sherlock! For those that are not familiar with Corporate America... M&A = Mergers and Acquisitions ERISA = Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1975 (I could be wrong on the year..its been a while since I worked for anyone that needed me to know that)

Alien writes on Netpond: All too fascinating. But Luke you know it's all standard procedure. However there is one thing about your research... Where is the villan? The manuevers are not illegal, There is no fraud.

Jimmyslits writes on Netpond: Luke don't make me come over to your one room hovel and shave your head. Things that make you go hmmm: There are other companies going thru ruff times right now...but still some feel the need to target others. hmmmmm I wonder...

XXX writes: Luke, I really do encourage you to contact the secs. of state and get those documents. Why don't you try the sec.'s of state of the states of incorporation, and get the merger/incorporation documents? Then you'd have something. These are all public records. They should contain some info showing how the companies were merged (if they were). I guess what would be odd is if there was no actual merger and no effective change in ownership, if RJBT remains an entirely separate entity for instance with no discernible underlying change in the business relationships to justify the change in structure.

Actress Perceived To Be Republican

From Liz Smith: Sharon Lawrence, of "NYPD Blue" fame, was in Washington for the inauguration, attending the Creative Coalition Ball--a nonpartisan advocacy organization of the arts and entertainment community. In the Feb. 5 issue of People, Lawrence's photo appeared on the same page as President Bush, his daughters and several prominent Republicans.

Since the publication of that photo, Lawrence, a lifelong Democrat who worked for Al Gore, has received hate mail and has been approached on the streets of L.A., irately confronted about "being a Republican." Most disturbing, in a recent business meeting, Lawrence was chilled when a producer said, with heavy emphasis, "I have to ask, are you really a Republican?"

Considerably shaken, Lawrence tells us, "If one is even perceived to be a Republican in Hollywood, there can be an excluding reaction and people genuinely resent you!"

Luke Gets Mail

Sergio writes: Who's the HTML monkey behind Gene Ross' website? That must be the lousiest homepage EVER, with those giant pics (don't you even heard of THUMBNAILS, dude?) and neverending writing. Takes HOURS to load, and then all that's there is pure Rob Black ass-kissing. Feh.

Porn's Compassionate Conservatism

Torris writes on RAME: They talk about a national censor but this is really self censorship at its extreme. Which appears to represent the disgust of the industry creators towards sex. No bisexual contact, no homosexual contact, no trannies? Black male on white female is verboten; but it appears that white male f---ing Negresses is ok? Who are they trying to kid? This is an excuse for them to indulge in their own racism/homophobia squeamishness. No food as a sex object. Guess no more blowjobs wrapped in whip cream. Everyone knows how depraved that is.

Leeanna Hart Four Months Pregnant

Green Lantern writes: If you go to EYada.com & select the Chaunce Hayden show, then click on the archive for February 14th, you should hear in the archived broadcast that Chaunce Hayden reports that Leeanna Heart is 4 months pregnant & he apparently calls her voice mail & goes off on her for not showing up in person as scheduled. I have no other source so I can't verify the validity of this. For some reason, typing this is making me feel like a BIG rat since I don't want to be slandering her if this story is incorrect.

Shattering Taboos

Dr Jay Gertzman writes: Dear Luke: "Porn for Conservatives," an article in the Feb. 26 _The Nation_, describes the adult industry's new guidelines for avoiding prosecution by the new Attorney General for the Christian Coalition. The author, a producer himself, is bothered by the industry's self-censorship--that is, its own suppression of those "dirty" porn films which might be subversive of sex taboos and thus subject to prosecution from Ashcroft's people. Martin Amis' melodramatic essay in _Talk_ magazine on contemporary porn film goes further in criticizing the industry (of which he apparently knows little). He just about equates it with a group of sweatshop moguls or Don King-like manipulators. The editors' (irrelevant) introduction to Amis' piece says porn should, like the best of popular culture, "shatter societal taboos." I can think of writers such as Marco Vassi, Michael Perkins, and Dennis Cooper who did or do this recently. Do you know any contemporary film or visual artists who do? If you respect performers or producers in the industry today as committed to raising political or social consciousness, who are they?

Luke replies: Dear Jay: Thanks for your suggestions. I have read both pieces. I really liked Martin Amis...and generally had the opposite of your reactions. I thought Amis captured the industry well. I know you've spent years researching the erotica industry, but I wonder if you've truly gotten dirty in it, like Amis has... I can't think of anyone I respect for shattering taboos, perhaps the Nazi Dr William Pierce? Oy, I loathe him too. I don't respect any pornographers. None. I don't respect porn except as a mirror to human nature.

Putative Marc writes: you know what would shatter a taboo? if a female celebrity, actress, politician, porn starlet, whatever, had a child out of wedlock (but at least had the child) and then publicly put it up for adoption. how about if a jewish contestant on "survivor" refused to eat the wildlife on the basis that it wasn't kosher and got voted off or disqualified?

Fred writes: "Heretics .... I think all the heretics I have known have been virtuous men. They have the virtue of fortitude, or they would not venture to own their heresy; and they cannot afford to be deficient in any of the other virtues, as that would give advantage to their many enemies; and they have not, like orthodox sinners, such a number of friends to excuse or justify them."

Letter from Benjamin Franklin to Benjamin Vaughan, October 24, 1788.

Luke, I fear you are mired in error. I was listening to Terry Gross on NPR today, and she was interviewing someone about medicine in the 19th century. Apparently, it was widely believed back then that masturbation causes serious medical problems. The societal taboo against masturbation has obviously been shattered. It was built on a foundation of pure superstition and nonsense, like many societal taboos.

Do you really condemn all those who would destroy taboos? It seems to me that there are two types of taboos--those that exist by virtue of superstition, and those which hold real penalties for their violation.

To condemn all those who shatter taboos is throwing out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak. Unless there are people out there who shatter taboos (e.g. Ghandi, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, Galileo, etc.) we would all be stuck in the dark ages, trying to figure out what to do about the Bubonic plague. Shattering taboos is not always unhealthy.

Luke says: Foolish me, I am in error. I do not condemn all those who shatter taboos. I condemn all those who shatter taboos that useful. I can't think of anybody shattering taboos in the last 20 years who's done good.

As for masturbation, civilization has always and will always stigmatize masturbation and all forms of sexual intercourse outside of heterosexual marriage. For without those stigmas, men won't pair bond with women and raise their own children.

Respect, Taboos & Interviewing Luke

Lynne writes:

Luke: I can't think of anyone I respect for shattering taboos

Lynne: You wouldn't -- it goes against your inherent nature, which is conservative. You uphold and justify taboos. On the other hand, it was taboo to discuss the inner workings of the sex industry in public, and you shattered that, for which I respect you.

Luke: I don't respect any pornographers. None.

Lynne: Except me, huh? And then only in private...we wouldn't want to blow your image. Well, we would, but we respect YOU too much to discuss that!

Lynne: What about ethical journalism? Lincoln's nickname was "Honest Abe" -- Luke, when did you start valuing honesty? You couldn't possibly emulate Old Ben -- you discourage your sense of humor and, besides, Ben Franklin praised older women ("They are so grateful!")

Why are you qualified to write a porn gossip column when you admit you never even watch porn?

[Fred writes: I appointed Luke to be a porn gossip columnist. I have a copy of the appointment in my files.]

Lynne: Did he keep the appointment? Was he late? Was this a fifty-minute appointment or did he get the entire hour? And lastly, how much did he pay for his appointment, and can he take it off on his taxes?

Epoch's Credit Card Processing

KBDumbPhuck writes: Luke, Here is the nail in Epoch's coffin. All that BS they posted about things being fine etc.. Now they are saying they wont be paying out for about 45 days. This just about drives the nail in thier coffin. Sincerly, KBDumbf---

Here is the mail attached:

Hello everyone, My apologies for not mailing the post's out on Monday and yesterday. In fact, I was not in the office at all Monday, but I'm feeling much better now. Especially now that I feel like I'm getting caught up! And speaking of catching up, payments will soon be catching up as well. Epoch will soon return to the normal two week disbursement. We have every reason to believe that this will happen within the next 45 days if not sooner. We appreciate your patience and understanding while we all pulled through this delay. The new options available to us due to our new arrangements will be very exciting and the latest, greatest, and newest features will be announced as soon as we can throw the switch.

I've included the Wednesday announcement below as well as the posts that should have gone out Monday and Tuesday. If you have any questions, please drop me a line. Now go read the posts! Happy Valentines Day! ---Rand at EPOCH

Stan writes: It’s not “45 days they wont pay for”, they are saying they will be 100% on time with all the payments, meaning no late payments and everything going out on time including resellers.

Rand at Epoch aka Paycom.net, writes: Luke, Who is this guy KBDumbf---? He sent you a letter that you posted on your site that was sent to only about 20 people or so and I am narrowing it down. However, that correspondence is copyright protected and the guy doesn't have his story straight. Let me know who this is so I can contact him.

Israel Gonzales Story

Evil Drunk writes: Luke--I am a long-time reader of your site and greatly appreciate your vision and perspective. I have been trying for quite some time to find information on the shooting at the Extreme Associates warehouse between Isreal Gonzalez and members of the LAPD. My searches of this have proved to be more than futile. I cannot recall where I first learned of this story, but my best guess would be your site or the Hell-A Times. I have searched everywhere that I can think of and still I am coming up snake eyes. Any information you could provide would be greatly appreciated. I find this story quite compelling because I vividly remember Isreal from a documentary on the porn world which was featured on the Bravo network. Luke, I would like to thank you for the entertainment and, in advance, for any help you could provide concerning my query.

Luke says: Click here.

What Do You Do With Your Tzitzit?

Tzitzit are long white fringes worn by religious Jews in accordance with the Torah's command: "And you shall look upon them and remember to do my commandments."

More religious Jews wear tzitzit outside their clothing while more modern religious Jews like me tuck them in.

Luke F-rd is the embodiment of Modern Orthodox Judaism.

But tucking in your tzitzit causes many awkward sensations.

As I sat here researching the hottest porn gossip, I felt my tzitzit chafe my groin. So I reached into my pants and tugged on my tzitzit. As they came out, they tickled and further irritated my groin area. It was a weird and somehow illicit tickle.

Other times when I've pulled them out from down there, I've left pieces of tzitzit behind.

Also, when I sit upon the throne, I have to hold my tzitzit with one hand so they don't get soiled. And it's hard to balance that and wipe at the same time.

So how do l-keford.com readers handle their tzitzit?

MrHollywoodJew writes: I grew up Orthodox and we removed our tallit katan (i.e. tzitzit) when using the toilet, just as we removed our kippahs when showering or bathing. One needn't carry these things to too much an extreme, you know. Chaim would warn you not to listen to me, though, since I haven't worn either at any time (except a kippah at services) in many years. I will point out, however, that while attending a niece's wedding in an Orthodox shul a fe months ago I noted a plaque on the restroom door requesting those entering to please remove their tallitoth. I would assume this goes for a tallit katan as well.

Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode where George always took his shirt off when going to the bathroom? Well, it was like that. Seems a hassle but I always found it easier that dealing with the damn tzitzit. I guess I figured everyone handled it the same way but to be honest, I've never disucssed the subject with anyone before. Now you've got ME wondering how other frume Yehudim deal with this.

You Are Full Of Tzitzit

Devoto writes: Luke, I was amused by your tzitzit story and the posts you received in answer to the question "How do LF.com readers handle their tzitzit?". I, however, am not Jewish, and therefor do not feel the need to place SPIRITUAL importance upon WORLDLY objects. I do not wear a tzitzit, nor do I wear a mole-hair shirt. I do not feel that it is NECESSARY to wear an OBJECT to remind me of my FAITH, or to ENCOURAGE me by OSMOSIS to behave in a moral fashion. In FACT, I found it ODD that you go through the TROUBLE of even wearing a tzitzit, especially taking into consideration HOW you speak of it tickling your GROIN while you are working on your PORN site. FURTHERMORE, I found it equally odd that the ONLY person who responded to your "question" (posed, dare I say, in MOCKERY of your FAITH?) was the HOLLYWOOD JEW. Granted, others MAY have responded and their e-mails MAY not have been posted as of yet. BUT, the HOLLYWOOD Jew, one of the CHOSEN ones, owner of a STRIP club (or is it a MATCHMAKING service for him?? I understand he has married, and subsequently divorced two strippers), and OBVIOUS embodiment of the HIGH code of morality that GOD has bestowed upon you Luke, and your "tribe" suggests you needn't carry these things to an extreme.

I suggest that perhaps you TAKE his advice and rid yourself of the WHOLE tzitzit ordeal in it's entirety. Then you can focus your time on OTHER pursuits, and that you may find MORE fulfilling. Focus on things that DON'T deal with the improvement of your self, or the search for spiritual enlightenment. After all Luke, you don't want to interrupt your hands as they reach for the mouse to copy and paste YET ANOTHER "article" onto your site! Ahhhh, but if you abandoned your FAITH in Judaism, then your site would only have HALF as many articles as it does now! FURTHERMORE, you would be faced with a life absent of CONFLICT, and we ALL know YOU cant have that! Decisions, decisions...

Behind The Music - Goddess Interviews Luke F-rd

Hmm, i *would* IM you, but I have it on good authority that you only speak in "smiley faces" and I need something a little more indepth. "Sides I'm *way lazier than you* and I don't wanna retype...so here goes.... ___________________

Other than Sybill, who has been your role models? Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, George Will, Dennis Prager. Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. Woodward and Bernstein? I'm guessing thats a county singing duo? ______________

[Fred writes: These are your role models? How do you go about emulating them? Regarding Churchill, have you started smoking a cigar or something? Regarding Lincoln, are you growing a beard? Frankly, I would have chosen Ben Franklin--despite greatness, he kept a sense of humor. LF answers: Practice ethical monotheism.]

You said when you were little, you sat and told yourself stories for hours, did you also play with yourself? And is this where your masturbation obsession began? ____________

Speaking of obsessions, when did your obsession with Gene begin? Are you as impressed with his massive biceps as I am? Has he ever let you squeeze his biceps? Have you ever fantasized about doing it? _______________

Besides the ability to breathe and walk at the same time, what qualities are you looking for in a woman? ______________

Think about this VERY CAREFULLY before you answer---would you eat Kira Eggers out? _____________

Why do you never like women who like you? ________________

How old were you the first time sex? and what magazine were you looking at? okay, just kidding...how old WERE you the first time you had sex with ANOTHER LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN BEING? just so there's no confusion... ____________

I heard you don't like to eat pussy. Is that true? and what's the story there? are you selfish or what? do you expect a girl to swallow your Jewish load even if you won't eat her out? _____________

Have you ever at any time had sex with your imaginary friends? Tell me about them. Are they male or female? how old are they? And what are their names? Are you sleeping with any of them right now? _______________

What do you love/hate best about being the son of a preacher man? {have you ever met Dusty Springfield?} ____________

Who is your favorite porn personality to poke fun at? ___________

If you could live your life over, what would you do differently? ______________

If you could have sex in a porno vid, which porno chick would you want to do the nasty with and why? _____________

Why are you qualified to write a porn gossip column when you admit you never even watch porn? __________

[Fred writes: I appointed Luke to be a porn gossip columnist. I have a copy of the appointment in my files.]

Have you ever met Mike South? Is he as dreamy as he looks? ___________

Who is your favorite Backstreet Boy? ____________

Isn't it true that this whole "i'm so torn between religion and porn" is just an excuse to get sympathy [possibly blowjobs] from porn chicks AND Jewish chicks? ____________

What's more important to you in a woman--big tits or the ability for her to beat the crap out of your enemies then run like hell? ______________

Would your wife be expected to suck your cock AND clean your "ahem" house? (and I use that term loosely) __________

How would you handle this situation: you're getting a blow job, the best blow job you've EVER gotten, when suddenly you get shooting pains up and down your left arm, you start to sweat profusely and you KNOW you're having a heart attack. Do you try to shoot your wad anyway, thus risking death or do you cry for your mommy and dial 911?

Just A Few More Thought Provoking Questions

Goddess writes: Let me sum up your sexual situation and you tell me if it's correct: you don't expect a woman to suck your cock OR swallow and you won't eat her out, cause pussys are stinky and smelly? OY.

Why would you choose to spend your life with a stinky, smelly woman in the first place?

I heard that you like anal sex? Is that true? Cause aren't buttholes stinky and smelly, too?

Sometimes right when I'm ready to fall asleep, I start thinking about Mike South and I get all sexually turned on, does this ever happen to you?

Do you think Kira Eggers's pussy stinks?

Have you ever heard of wash cloths, soap or water? [Now you have me all caught up in this stinky pussy thing, luke]

In your earlier answers, you made mention of "a testy telephone exchange" with Gene Ross in 1996-- why was the phone conversation "testy?" What was it concerning?

You said: Why does Lynne L-patin like you? cause for the life of me, I can't figger that one out....

For my intellect and bold objective news reporting.

"Bold objective news reporting?" Lynne, has obviously been holding out on me. What's the URL for *that* website? thank you, sir.....this is fun

Luke's Dandruff

Jimmy writes on Netpond: What I really want to know is if Luke F-rd uses conditioner? How bout it Luke?

Luke: No, not regularly. I mainly use Head and Shoulders Dandruff shampoo.

CJ writes: Dandruff can often be caused by not rinsing your hair properly. Often its not just dry scalp. Try not only using your dandruff shampoo, but increasing the water pressure and rinsing thoroughly. A deep cleansing conditioner will also help with dryness of the scalp.

Follow Your Heart

Rumdar writes: >I'm wondering if your intellectual commitment to Judaism has become a visceral commitment to Israel.

Luke, My commitment to Asian women is unequivocal. A couple of years ago I openly rooted for the Chinese Lesbos to beat the American Lesbos in World Cup Soccer. This was in a San Diego bar filled with rabid drunken Americans. Many a snide and insulting remark was hurled at me. Unfortunately my Asian rug munchers lost. Always follow your heart no matter what the cost.

Greg Lasrado & The Beastie Boys

XXX writes: Hmmmm Looks like Greg and the crew from Shared Earnings are back in the beasty game. http://www.barnyardcash.com/

Is Luke Ron Levi's Bitch?

Jorge Chavez writes: "Loser. Luke - You are such a pussy. I have sent you great stuff about CE losing their merchant account. This is the big story right now. Why are you ignoring it? Is big Ronnie threatening your fag ass? I know you pulled that post earlier today. Loser. Ce has no processing. I thought you were a reporter. Looks to me like you're someone's bitch."

Luke says: Ron Levi and Cybererotica and Lee Noga say everything is A OK.

Jane Doe writes: You should know. The panic has set in. Ron lost the merchant account and there is currently no one to take over the billing. Ron has burned to many bridges in the past and not many people are sympathetic to what is happening now. Make no mistake. CE has big problems. They go way beyond the obvious billing problems and the battling of AOL law suits.

Luke says: Ron Levi told me that he has not lost his merchant account, and that all checks will go out to webmasters on time, as they have for over four years.

XXX writes: The true litmus test of CyberErotica's ability to process credit cards would be to go to one of their sites and hit the signup form. If you should try this, you will see the signup pages requesting CC information are not offline.

Scott writes: My thoughts: Assuming the signup pages aren't hosted at a 3rd party processor, if they lost their merchant account they can just approve everyone and process the transactions after the fact once things are staightened out. Some sites do indeed do this, approve everyone then process transactions offline for whatever reason. Its not like they're selling a physical product just a fairly fixed cost service. If they get a bogus signup from a dead beat credit card, not much is lost. Losing a merchant account isn't a big deal in the big picture, not being able to get another however is a problem. In a past life/job I worked as sales for an electronics mail order dealer, they lost their merchant account over selling refurb items as new and not giving refunds to people who got pissed. It took about a week or two to resolve. During this period we accepted prepaid orders with checks and shipped COD. Anyone who wanted to pay by card was told there was a two week backorder on whatever they ordered. This was about 10 years ago, they're still in business to this day. Hawking their refurbs as new on a snazzy website. Everyone scams, porners just tend to push things farther then most. You can't entirely blame the porners either, a lot of the charge backs are wives and assholes who felt the site wasn't worth what they paid. My advice? Don't make s--- about giving unsatisfied customers a credit, just issue it.

Vivid Guidelines

Here's a JPG capture of what seems to be guidelines given to Vivid Video's editing department on January 17th.

The head line reads: "Boxcover Guidelines/Movie Production Guidelines."

Among the forbidden themes: "No black men, white women themes."

But last Friday, AVN.com received the following open letter from Vivid Video.

For Those Concerned:

It has come to our attention that one Vivid video entitled "Deviant" had a box cover partially obliterated by a sticker and this has been interpreted as some kind of improper action concerning interracial sex. Any stickers on this one title were done so inadvertently and without authority and Vivid Video has no policy of doing such and will have no policy of doing such. Indeed, Vivid Video has hundreds of box covers which depict interracial sexual activity and none of these box covers will have any such activity obliterated or in any way covered by stickers or otherwise. We apologize for any misconceptions that were generated as a result of the actions concerning this one title, but clearly that does not reflect any policy on the part of this company.

Luke says: But Vivid's guidelines in the JPG capture clearly indicate that black men - white women themes are now forbidden. So clearly the company has changed its interracial policy and is trying to obfuscate its change. I was the first person to break the story that Vivid was changing its interracial guidelines. (Gene Ross then provided the first details of the so-called Cambria List.) I emailed a Vivid exec on January 17 and he told me that Vivid was not changing its interracial policy. But clearly Vivid has changed its interracial policy. In other words, I was lied to.

That's why adult industry journalists don't trust and don't like Vivid. They're devious.