Friday, December 22nd, 2000

Stephen Michael Cohen Loses Again

Earlier this month, Stephen Cohen lost his ownership of the domain name Sex.com to the original owner, Gary Kremen. On December 19, Judge Ware denied Cohen's Ex Parte motion to stay or modify the Preliminary Injunction. The Ninth Circuit District Court also denied Cohen's Expedited Appeal. The next big hearing is on January 29th when Judge Ware will hear Cohen's arguments regarding injunction modification and the issue of a bond.

Kendra Jade Rebutts Claims She's Stupid

I got an angry phone call from Kendra "Butt Billionaire" Jade Thursday evening. She intellectually rebutted claims by Lynne L-patin and Curious that she's stupid. Listen here.

I've known Kendra Jade more intimately than most over the past three years and I can testify she's got a good head. She reads more than a book a week. Jade's the only porn star I consider a close personal friend. She's had years of therapy and I've been impressed by her insights.

Now yes, she does do stupid things on occasion, such as stuffing pages of the Bible up her ass... But he who hasn't stuffed pages of Scripture up his ass, let him cast the first stone.

Arch writes: Luke, just b/c Kendra works as a porn star doesn't mean she lacks intelligence. True, some of these gals aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer but people tend to stereotype entire groups of people which is nonsense. I recall seeing Eden Rae in a Bogus Bros video and thought if I didn't know of her insightful posts on rame she would appear to be just another mindless bimbo. Truth is not always self-evident.

Another Retraction - Curious Apologizes To Kendra

Curious writes: I sincerely apologize to Ms. Kendra Jade for insinuating that she is stupid. I realize that actions speak louder than words and so to make amends I am also offering to have sexual intercourse (either vaginal or anal - her choice) as a sincere expression of my deep regret. Will you please forgive me Kendra?

Lynne apologizes to Kendra and Luke but not Curious and Disses Jimmy D.

Lynne writes: The only time I have ever heard Kendra Jade carry on a conversation was on Luke's radio show of last week. Listen here. Last Tuesday's show started off nicely with my favorite subject, Luke, being interviewed by Jimmy D. Jimmy is crude and coarse, and not my favorite radio personality, but he probed and prodded Luke into exposing his deepest inner conflicts, going where even Luke's therapist is forbidden entry. Uncomfortable, Luke resorted to the ultimate defense: he played tapes of his father's ranting...Fortunately I was listening to a download and could fast forward to Jim's next guest, Kendra Jade. She giggled and had very little to say, and was boring, so gave up, went back to work, and later on had a conversation with Our Friend Curious.

I am more than willing to accept Luke's assessment of Kendra, and I certainly do not question his taste in friends, which would be rather counter-productive, considering that I am one. I can't tell from Kendra's angry phone call to Luke regarding the speculation as to her appeal as to whether she has much vocabulary beyond profanity, but granted, the girl was upset. Maybe Jimmy D. made Kendra sound like "trailer trash." I've successfully avoided Howard Stern all these years, so don't know what he does to her, but Jerry Springer makes everyone look like "trailer trash." Will the real Kendra please stand up? Luke, could you have her on the show, without your obnoxious sidekick, please? She can only blossom given your warmth, friendship and cultured language.

As to Curious, (who is never mentioned in Kendra's tirade, which I found, well, curious...) he is the one who decided our conversation needed to be posted on Luke's website. I warned him that Kendra would be upset and hurt (though I didn't know she would take it out on Luke, for which you have my most abject apology, dear). But did he care? No! Surely if Kendra and, say, John Bowen had a conversation, and John edited it and turned it over to Luke, surely she would be mad at John Bowen. But Curious escapes unscathed by the wrath of Kendra Jade! He's at least half to blame for this!

Curious, I have only one thing to say to you: If your regret is as deep as your ability to penetrate "anal or vaginal," you prove yourself as shallow as you oft claim to me to be.

And in honor of my late husband, who would be thrilled to know that someone had the chutzpah to stuff pages from the bible up her butt, I have to commend Kendra Jade for her position on religion, which obviously isn't missionary. Bruce would hate to see anyone throwing stones at a woman with that kind of class.

John Bobbitt's Manager Robert Yates

Frank writes: I know you've been in contact with Robert Yates in the past because of the John Wayne Bobbitt story? Did he ever send the video of Bobbitt supposedly taped surrepetitiously? It's really bad. Reallly boring. I have to admire Yates though. He's not even 21 and, usually, people don't become that unethical until they're at least 25. He's a true prodigy.

Weirdest Porn Stories 2000

What were the weirdest porn stories this past year? I'm compiling a list. Email Luke

Rick from SBC Photography suggests: The whole Dennis Rodman appearance for Wicked at IA2000 in New Orleans and surrounding events he attended.

Rumdar writes: "Also a trends list would be great. Of course that means you are going to have to do some thinking. Are you up for the task? I am suggesting a list of the best and worst of Luke 2000. I am mentally working on it now. I hope all members of the "the advisory committee" will join in on this one."

Aghast writes: "The way the site's been going a "Top Ten LF.com Retractions" List too."

Helpful writes: How about a Most Unusual Porners List:

Skeeter Kerkove - Any man who brags about the number of chopsticks his wife's anus can accommodate is highly unusual.

Bianca Trump - A porn starlet escort who cries on Howard Stern when he calls her a whore.

Kendra Jade - World's shortest retirement. Retires on a Thursday shoots a scene for Spallone's Sopornos the following Wednesday.

Kid Vegas - Quickly surpassing Luke F-rd for pure industry hatred.

Heather Barron - 'Nuff said.

Skeeter Kerkove writes QuasarmanRants.com: "To the Kerkoves , vaginal fisting is like a french kiss. After BRIDGETTE and I did our traditional B/G/A, then I fisted her pussy and ass. Triple vag with dildos, then triple anal, peeing just for the hell of it, then I gave her a cranberry juice enema and drank it out of her ass with a mother f---in straw. Now thats love homeboy. All that was the warm-up, the prelude to the LEGENDARY, wooden chopstick scene. I inserted 103 wooden chopsticks, pointy end first,{I SWEAR, POINTED ENDS FIRST] into my lovely wifes ass. IT WAS A MOTHER f---IN LOVE STORY. You have to see it to believe it. I am one very proud mother f---er, about BRIDGETTE and I getting nominated for most outrageous sex scene."

Zoe's Back

Zoe writes: I wasn't sure of the directions or context for the show so I called Adella on Friday and left a message, but she did not return my call. I tried reaching Tabetha Monday night, but only got the answering machine, the same with Tuesday when I had made my final attempt at about 2pm. At which time I tried to reach Adella again, but no luck. So I called another friend and told them I needed directions for the Tera Show and they said. "why, she's not going to be there anyway - it's probably cancelled or something".

So after weeks of frustration with my roommate, working double hard in mainstream and adult and being treated badly on the Susan Block show - I decided "f--- it! I've had it!" and started driving 90 mph south with Motley Crue blaring. Next thing I know I'm at the border and slamming Absolute in Encinada. They happen to be having a wet T shirt contest and so I decided to show them what it's really all about. All was going well until the other girls started getting jealous seeing their boyfriends cheer more for me than for them and all hell broke loose back stage. Some guys tried to break up the fight and I smashed a bottle in some guy's face. It wasn't long after that the 'Federals' showed up and hauled me off to the pigeon hole they called a holding tank at about 1am.

Finally about 7am Wednesday morning they let me use the phone ONCE and all I could get was a busy signal when trying to reach my manager. They didn't let me use the phone again until Wednesday night and they weren't going to release me because someone wanted to press assault charges and I was considered a flight risk. They didn't let me use the phone again until daybreak Thursday morning, but this time I tried to reach my roommate, but there was no answer. Then about 8 o'clock Thursday night I got to call again and FINALLY Tabetha was home. She got in the car and headed down to help me out.

After major bargaining and signing our lives away to guarantee that I would come back, they released me into my manager's custody and we both returned this morning. I apologize to Tera Patrick and Adella O' Neil for all the trouble and missing the show. Things have been really difficult for me lately and I never meant to miss the show as I know that she and Tabetha worked hard to promote me being there. I also apologize to all of my true friends who called my manager and asked if I was okay, I didn't mean to worry anyone, and I certainly didn't mean to get stuck in Mexico!! I keep all my appearances as scheduled and always will - including Eros Station in Van Nuys tonight. Come down and see me!!

DivinePleasure.com

David writes: I was glad to read the response about DivinePleasure. I think the people there are well-meaning and harmless.

However, a few of the goddesses are listed at LA Exotics.com, which does supply escort info. That does not make a prostitute but it does raise an eyebrow.

What prompted my original question was when I was on the chat line and a goddess named Genie was asking $300 for private ``sensual'' massage and was claiming to be a ``material girl'' at heart. Doesn't sound like a loving, spiritual goddess to me. Sources tell me she has since been fired.

The conversations I've had with other goddesses suggest most are perfect ladies -- the type you would like to hang out with even if sex weren't involved.

However, the turnover rate there is high, which suggests a couple possibilities:

The company tries to weed out the weirdos or; It's not an easy place to work for everyone.

Most of the goddesses on the free chat aren't actually talking horny. They just look pretty and try to deal with the internet pervs spamming them with ``take off your shirt'' requests. A few times I have seen a hint of nipple -- thank you God!

I do think many of the goddesses on the free chat are sincerely trying to help the net nerds learn how to talk with a woman in a way that will get them love, not slapped in a bar. However, some of the chatters want beef jerky instead. Again, I think your take is accurate that it's well-meaning.

Chag Someach [Happy Holidays] To Each In His Tradition

Luke F-rd writes: "A few years ago, I sat next to a religious Jew in a very Orthodox shul. A screenwriter and an intelligent man, he was amenable to discussion. I asked him if he bought Orthodoxy's prohibition of masturbation."

Chaim Amalek writes: Luke, I myself often initiate similar conversations with total strangers whilst riding the subway or on elevators. I find that everyone has an opinion on this topic, and is more than eager to share it with others.

PS I found myself at a holiday party recently that was very heavily attended by jewish women. I could not help but note that the jewish women all looked as though they could be first cousins or even sisters. Have you noticed that jews look more alike than Christians do, even after the increased racial variety of Christians (due to the greater inclusivity of their faith) has been accounted for?

PPS Monday is Christmas, the day Christians mark the anniversary of the birth of their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Happy Birthday, Jesus, if You are really out there, and Happy Christmas to all the Christian followers of You as well, even if you are not.

This is also Chanukah, a minor holiday on the Jewish calender, celebrated by many ignorant people who have no idea what it was about, and who likely would have been on the other side of that conflict had they lived then with their current, cosmopolitan views.

This is Ramadan, the holiday of the very dynamic people who may yet bring down the Third Temple and Western Civilization.

Finally Kwanza, a racially exclusive secular "holiday" invented by black American racialists in the 60's, shall soon be upon us. (Back then, the African-American was known as "Afro-American", which as a term was thought to be an improvement upon "colored" or "negro". Go figure.) I suspect that nowhere is it more honored than among white elites who are not welcome to celebrate the holiday. Is anyone in Lukeland celebrating this holiday?

Western Civ began its decline when women were given the vote - a fatal error, in the long term. As a famous negro is alleged to have said, the proper place for a woman is beneath a man. Women who wish to serve as rabbis are nothing more than torah-trannies.

Note to Lynne L: Which of the young wives of the following old men do you condemn for having chosen to bear their much older husbands' new children? How do you feel about the existence of such women? Do you fear that they are disruptive of the natural order, or merely of the social order that you would like to see prevail in society?

Larry King
Michael Douglas
Hugh Hefner
Tony Randall and many many other high status men.

PS I wish you a happy Kwanza, although as a white woman, the holiday was not invented for your benefit.

Lynne: Eeek! I count my blessings, that I can anticipate a comfortable survival in this world without having to bear children for those old wart-covered geezers! Sex in exchange for economic support? Why not just do it with lots of cute young porn stars, instead of one geriatric multi-millionaire?

JMT's Cheerful Holiday Ruminations

JustMrT writes: Are Dubya cheerleaders Lori Michaels and Mike South still confident that the smirking half-wit is going to be good for the porn business now that he has appointed John Ashcroft, an extremely conservative Christian right-winger who is opposed to abortion even in cases of rape and incest, to be the next Attorney General? How are they going to feel when the Justice Dept. resumes its former practice of prosecuting adult bulletin board operators in carefully-selected Bible Belt backwaters located thousands of miles away from the defendants and their lawyers, so as to maximize the inconvenience and expense of defending the charges? Is Lori still going to be chipper if lorilive.com is chosen as Target #1, and she has to sell her farm and her race car just to pay her legal bills? It may not happen to her, but it's going to happen to somebody, just you wait. Somebody even let Ed Meese out of whatever crypt he's been hiding in for the last 8 years -- I saw him on TV the other day!

Luke Gets Mail

Alien@SinCityFilms.com writes: Hey Luke This for Adult DVD Empire:

I went to your site is real good work and yes I am excited to see that there were a number of our DVD's for sale on there! I even like the rating system for the products pretty neat. Yesterday I forgot to mention Watchers, which happens to be within your store with a rating of 4.75. Pretty impressive 5 being a perfect:) Sin City did some real hard work on that title as well. AdultDVD Empire Peep's please feel free to get ahold us at Sin City so we can leave Luke alone with this stuff:)

Kim writes Luke: Hi, I was looking for Dennis Prager's show here in LA, it appears to have disappeared while I was out of town for a while, can you please tell me what happened, I thought he would be on KABC forever! I don't read this site [DennisPrager.net] regularly, I just put Dennis Prager into a search engine and came up with this. Recognized your name as I have worked behind the scenes in the porn industry (hair and makeup). Did not know you also ran the Prager site. Please fill me in.

Luke: He's moved in Los Angeles to 870 AM KIEV.

Rumdar writes: Luke... If we needed to be reminded how humorless your site has recently become read no further than your opening diatribe against the pleasures of self abuse. First the intifada against one P. Fishbein (the Osama bin Liden of porn?) and now this. And Luke, just what kind of pilgrim enters a house of worship and chats up a complete stranger on the topic of masturbation? Shouldn't you save that conversation for the locker room? Doesn't seem very healthy to me. And if the screenwriter is such an "intelligent man" why is he not whacking his carrot like the rest of us? If we want to listen to this type of drivel there are the cracker gospel preachers on TV. But of course we know that they are also stroking their zucchinis just as Luke and the screenwriter are. Out yourselves religious fanatical phonies. Raise your right hands (or left, if you are left handed) and repeat after me...Masturbation Good!

Becky Carols writes about Lori Michaels: Luke, Will you please wise up and stop posting that dumb cunt's SPAM? Ask her why she's the most boring performer in porn...wait, that's why she's a Vivid girl...what a joke.

Luke, Jade Marcella's one of the hottest, kinkest performers around and I really hope she's OK. Zoe was such a lifeless bore, disappearing was the best thing she ever did.

Mankind writes: Luke, Whyy should Paul Fishbein or Luke F-rd, both in sex industry, be required to answer any question about their personal sex lives? I don't see the entitlement of imformation simply based on the business at hand? If you or Fishbein were using sexual favors to advance your careers within the industry then I believe "screwing around " becomes a relevant topic? This kind of accusation causes great damage to ones private life regardless if it is true or not.

Roger Pipe writes: Hey Luke.... Maybe DVD Empire never got Sin City DVDs to review. Though I get their videos on a fairly regular basis, I have never once been sent a DVD from them. It's going to make it tough for me to nominate them for two other upcoming awards I'm voting in. Just a thought.....

Alec Jensen writes: Luke F-rd, I am finding it more and more distressing that every day I log onto your site, I see a new posting about Bridgette Kerkove (usually by her PIMP husband Skeeter) and Tera Patrick and the Tera Show. Isn't there something more interesting about this industry than these people. I really couldn't care less about how many awards they have been nominated for over and over and how many chopsticks Bridgette managed to get into her ever growing ass this week. Once in a while is ok, but because of the constant bombardment about Bridgette and Tera, I no longer take any notice about what is happening with them. It has become NEGATIVE publicity and frankly starting to become annoying. I hope Skeeter wins the "Best Suitcase pimp" Award at the AVN show this year. Please make sure you post this message so the people reasponsible for the constant Bridgette and Tera publicity would stop this immediately!

Mike writes: Hey Luke before I go up north for vacation asnswer me this question. Why does everyone in the industry think they are practicing safety by getting HIV testing every month. Someone could easily get the virus the day before testing and have it not show up on the test. Also even using condoms doesn't make things fullproof. Condomes were meant to prevent pregnancy and doctors say the Aids virus is much smaller than sperm and can easily pass through .There must be some sort of trust these actors and actresses have with each other. I just find it fascinating the mindset you have to have to take that sort of risk. Or maybe most of the scenes are heterosexual or lesbian so that makes the risks less but even so you could still get a nasty virus for life like herpes or warts. Why do they do it, I know dumb question but have you ever asked a porn star the question and how do they answer.

Luke says: Why do these performers take such risks? Many of the performers are dumb and don't think about such things. Other performers are highly selective about who they work with and what they do, so as to reduce risk. Other performers enjoy taking such risks.

Al Goldstein's Rabbit Ranch

Screw magazine publisher Al Goldstein has plans to open the Rabbit Ranch brothel on the Caribbean island St. Martin. Goldstein is a friend and business associate of Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof. Goldstein has a lifetime pass at the Bunny Ranch. His idea for the Rabbit Ranch was no doubt inspired by Hof's Bunny Ranch. Prices at the Rabbit Ranch will be $100-$500 per hour. Click here: NV Brothels Discussion Forum - "Al Goldstein's Rabbit Ranch"