Tuesday,
December 12th, 2000
Tiffany Mynx Releases Toe Story
Tiffany Mynx writes: Hi!!!! Finally after months of working on it, "A Toe Story" is finally done! This is the first release from my new production company Pagan Pictures and it stars me, Tabitha Stevens, Monique Demoan and Jessica Drake in 8 different scenes doing all the nasty things I love to do. you will find this video the nastiest video I have ever done complete with cum swallowing, foot jobs, ass to mouth, hot anal sex and much,much more. I'm pre-releasing the video on my production companies site http://www.PaganPictures.com and this will be the only place on the web( and world for a few months) in which you can receive this video. I'm selling copies personally autographed by me and they will be a limited quantity run. I hope you enjoy "A Toe Story" as much as I enjoyed making it!!!
Kendra Jade will appear on the Howard Stern radio show Wednesday morning.
The Desperate Woman's Guide To Dating
Rumdar writes: Luke.. It is that time of year again when all of us will be shopping for gifts for our loved ones, coworkers and even people we can't stand. I know frugal Luke F-rd fans will want to give a worthy present while spending as few shekels as possible. May I suggest The Desperate Woman's Guide (website www.desperatewomansguide.com) co-authored by my pal Dr. Al Julian. For under 10 bucks Luke readers will be able give the gift of humor while putting a few bucks in Dr. Al's pocket. If he sells enough books he may have the cash to join me in Bangkok this year. Come on guys, learn from an expert the secret techniques desperate women everywhere are using on us.
Luke Retracts, Apologizes To LFP
Yesterday, I, Luke F-rd, posted an e-mail and purported that it was from someone at LFP, Inc. I contacted that person to verify, but didn't wait for a response and posted the e-mail anyway. I want to make it absolutely clear that upon further examination, the e-mail was in no way from anyone at LFP, Inc., Hustler Magazine or any other publication from that company. I was too excited at receiving information-like always-and rushed to post an item about which I had no confirmation (and which common sense should have told me could not have come from the person I hinted at being its author). For this, I apologize to my readers and to everybody at LFP, Inc.
Stacy Valentine On ET
Gemini writes on RAME: "She has retired, and she is dating a guy who works on Wall Street in NYC. He's a Stock Broker I think. ET showed them kissing in Central Park."
Pezboy writes: "Maybe she's in love now and denouncing her f---ing and sucking days. Yeah, it looks like she hated all the pussy she ate and all the DP's she got too."
Greg writes: "I hate to predict bad news on the horizon, just as another starlet attempts to run away from her porn past, but Wall St. types are worse that high-schoolers and pro-athletes when it comes to bragging about their "conquests." The lucky guy is likely in the show-off, "this is cool phase" of the relationship with Ms. Valentine. This phase will soon end, as friends will begin to point out the career drawbacks of being involved with a porn star, bringing her to office functions, social circuit, etc. The "this is cool" phase will turn into an embarrassment for the guy, at best. Then Mr. Wall St. will say he can't resolve her past with his feelings for her and flush her down the relationship toilet back to porn valley. Sad, but highly predictable. Odds, anyone?"
Here are some thoughts on the preliminary agreement between the Federal Trade Commission and RJB Telcom, owners of the adult internet's largest paysite Karasxxx.com.
On October 26, 2000 the United States District Court, District of Arizona, Phoenix Division, appointed Robb Evans & Associates as Temporary Receiver of RJB Telcom Inc. The Temporary Receivership was ordered at the request of the Federal Trade Commission who had filed an action alleging violations of the FTC Act.
Here's the December 1st, District Court order: "The parties have stipulated to a preliminary injunction. The Court has reviewed the terms of the stipulation and notes that, among other safeguards, it lists prohibited practices, sets forth procedures for Defendants to detect and prevent fraud, and provides for lifting of the freeze on assets only when Defendants establish an escrow account with an initial deposit of $750,000. Defendants also agree to additional deposits in the escrow account totaling $1,250,000 over the next 90 days. Moreover, the receiver retains responsibility for oversight and monitoring of Defendants, business activities. Good cause appearing, the Court will order that a preliminary injunction shall issue containing the terms provided in the parties' stipulation. The hearing on the motion for preliminary injunction will be vacated."
Jack writes: Does RJB have competitors who have the time, money, smarts and inclination to try to use your site for a disinformation campaign?
I would agree with the general thrust of Bob's comments -- i.e., that the stipulated preliminary injunction does not represent any kind of victory for RJB or any kind of retreat by the FTC. The attorneys' comments about the FTC "reversing itself" and "allowing the Bottos to regain full control of all aspects of their business" seem like laughable attempts at spin control to me. Similarly, attempting to dismiss the importance of the order because it contains "boilerplate" or "standard provisions" is silly. In murder cases, the business about how the defendant is going to be "electrocuted until his ass is dead" (OK, that isn't exactly how it goes) is "boilerplate," too, but that's scant consolation to the condemned.
It seems as though RJB is very sensitive about anyone giving the semi-literate webmaster douchebags the idea that the checks might stop coming. (Is all the crap about how "ethical" RJB supposedly is based on anything other than the fact that they mail checks every month, and they don't bounce?)
I don't understand why you don't either (1) realize that you're going to have to start doing at least a little actual work in order to protect yourself from this kind of threat (checking facts, seeking comment from whoever you're slamming, making sure you understand stuff before you turn it into a headline); (2) confine your writing to non-controversial porno topics (what about those creepy letters you get from guys who have weird fetishes, or that want to know about some obscure aspect of pornodom, and who seem totally oblivious to the fact that you not only don't give a s--- about what they're asking about, but don't really even want to be talking about porno at all? You could re-dedicate yourself to answering their questions); or (3) go do something completely different. You could save yourself a lot of aggravation.
Bar writes: It seems like a straightforward Stipulated Injunction Agreement. Obviously the Defendant did not want an unconditional Preliminary Injunction issued from the District Court. By using the Stipulated Preliminary Injunction, the Defendant accomplishes two goals: (1) the Defendant appears to be acting in good faith, because it alleviates the burden on the court to have a full Preliminary Injunction hearing, and (2) the Defendant actually (or at least in perception) retains some control over the course of their business.
The Defendant will still have to answer for whatever alleged wrongs have been committed, but by moving the case along in this orderly fashion the Defendant will not invoke the ire of the FTC. In addition, the Defendant is shielded from any additional civil lawsuits while the injunction is in place. Finally, the Escrow account portion of the injunction may well indicate a forthcoming resolution to whatever anticipated (or actual) claims exist against the defendant. Of course, there may still be claims on the horizon, but the injunction chills whatever litigation would have arisen from the situation that gave rise to the injunction.
Yankel tells Luke: "I like you Luke. I know you mean well. I know you do your site for entertainment. But unlike Fishbein and Hirsch and all the other people who hate you, RB (Rich Botto of RJBT) is a different type of person."
Luke: "In what sense is RB a different type of person?"
Yankel: "RB's the kind of person who will knock your block off. Because he don't give a f---. You wouldn't want to bump into him at a trade show."
Luke: "He would punch me out?"
Yankel: "Who knows what he would do. But I know this. He's an Italian. And he's from New York. You know what I mean? That in itself would get me to not want to f--- with him."
Jill writes: The reason that companies like AVN will never, ever, ever file a suit, he said, is the risk. As soon as they file, the defendant starts doing discovery and depositions into what the plaintiff's damages are. That means we would get to ask the Fishbein's lots of nasty questions about where their money comes from, and where it goes. They have a lot more to lose from that than they would have to gain if they got damages for libel. Even if everything about their business is above board, most people don't want all the details of their lives scrutinized by somebody else's lawyers.
Could this be why Fishbein isn't suing? Is it clear that either Gene, or Extreme, have enough money for Fishbein to take if he won his suit?
The reason for this, honestly, is that 1) I don't think the Fishbein thing is very interesting, because no-one ever thought they were above board, and if you poked into the hallways of Conde Nast you'd find a lot worse (trust me on this one); and 2) My instinct is that a bunch of the things Gene etc. said (particularly the 401(k) stuff) aren't true. It's like that scene in Casablanca where the local chief of police says "I'm shocked, just shocked, to find gambling in the casino." Although, I am amused watching people bicker over $40,000 salaries :P
Jeff Steward At Legend
Pat Riley writes on RAME: Jim Powers is an independent director who either owns or is a partner in Notorious Productions and Multimedia Pictures (and probably others). He just works a lot for Legend/JM Productions/X-Traordinary Pictures.
Jeff Steward is the manager of (and maybe has some financial interest in) Legend/JM/X-traordinary. He's also called Jeff/Mike (hence JM Productions). The actual owners of Legend can be found on the S2257 statement on any of their productions.
Tal, I regard you and the fervent Bukkake fanatic as two extremes at opposite ends of the porn spectrum. Both are equally repulsive and both are largely responsible for the vast wasteland of garbage that emanates from the sleazy industry you form part of. I do my little bit to keep both ends squirming.
Underground Auctions
Frank writes: the undergroundauctions.com site that's touting porn, rock and roll memorabilia, and guns on the same site....you know the one, it's mentioned on a number of your competition's sites. anyway. guess who the owner of that site is...if you havent guessed, it's none other than john t. bone. and the guns? they're coming from his new partner, the arab arms dealer who recently had that 'bad' experience with kid vegas. who woulda thought, huh. porn makes for such really strange bedfellows.
I found this interesting interview with Sky aka Skylar Chase. She talks about having lunch with Shane and AVN publisher Paul Fishbein . Paul has been linked intimately with Sky and Shane. Here's an excerpt from the interview:
Do people tell you that you remind them of Shane?
Sky: There is more than a slight resemblance. Yes, a lot of people tell us that. We had lunch the other day with Paul Fishbein, the publisher of AVN, and he was telling us that I remind him a lot of Shane. It's funny, because Shane and I have spent a lot of time together, but not enough to develop the same personality. Before I knew Shane my friend JR Carrington said, "Oh my god, you remind me of my friend Shane." So Billy Glide took me to meet Shane at Taylor Wayne's birthday party. She hasn't been able to get rid of me since.
What are you going to do after your contract expires? Are you going to stick with Shane or go for the cash featuring on the road?
Sky: I think with Shane this could last a long time. I would totally love to feature. One idea that was brought up by Paul was that after a year me and Shane would feature together.
Is there anything within reason that you won't do on camera?
I don't think I'll s--- on camera. Some girls do stuff like that. I do anal. I'll do DPs. Mine's all about comedy and trying to keep it as classy as possible. There's a comedy side and a classy side to porn. I wanna capture both. Though, there was this girl on Shane's World 17, and the two of us ran out buck naked at three in the morning and peed in the snow. They got that on tape!
Mikey Ramone Named AVN Managing Editor
Here's an article in the October 2000 AVN magazine by Gene Ross:
After several months on the job, Mike Ramone, the new managing editor of AVN, says the position is a perfect fit for his background as a veteran, award-winning journalist and bona-fide pornophile.
Even before he began freelancing for the magazine five years ago, Ramone was a fan of the publication, picking it up every month to preview the latest releases on the porn horizon. Since that time, he has written hundreds of reviews, as well as On The Set pieces, Innerviews and business features — just about the whole gamut of what AVN has to offer.
“Being managing editor is truly a privilege and an honor, and I really look forward to helping to steer this magazine’s coverage of the adult industry into the new millennium,” Ramone, a native of Philadelphia, says.
AVN publisher and editor Paul Fishbein, another City of Brotherly Love expatriate [as is AVN V.P. of Editorial Operations Gene Ross], says of Ramone, “We like these Philadelphia guys who have strong work ethics and great journalism skills. Mike has the perfect combination of editing and writing skills and a knowledge and appreciation of the adult business.”
A graduate of Philly’s Temple University [as is Fishbein], Ramone moved to Los Angeles in the late 1970s.
AVN Gossip
XXX: I don't think Paul Fishbein will ever refute Gene's charges. And after what Gene will publish on Tuesday, I don't think Paul will be able to say anything. Do you think Gene's only got a little left? Bwahahaha. Why hasn't Paul tried to put the squeeze on Gene's boss Rob Black?
I hear that Paul Fishbein has threatened to fire any staffer who corresponds with me.
This link refers to a Paul Fishbein who serves as vice president of Amermar Enterprises of Philadelpia, the home town of the AVN publisher. Same Paul Fishbein?
From the 06/08/1999 The Harrisburg Patriot
Lower Allen Twp. commissioners [in the Philadelphia area] are girding for residents' reaction to the anticipated opening of an Excitement Video adult bookstore on Hartzdale Drive near the Capital City Mall.
State records show that Global Video Inc. was formed on Nov. 10, 1997. Its officers are Paul Fishbein, Stewart Franks, Scott Herman and David Betesh. Records show that Fishbein, Franks and Herman also are involved in the operation of the Excitement Video store on Jonestown Road in Susquehanna Twp.
Global opened a retail store in the Hartzdale Drive location last year, but closed it down after the township issued a cease-and-desist order. Global then filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Harrisburg against Lower Allen, claiming Lower Allen violated its constitutional rights and that the township's regulations on adult bookstores were overly broad. The suit said township regulations defined an adult bookstore as an establishment that contains, among other things, books and magazines that focus on certain anatomical areas or certain sexual activities.
Here are some excerpts:
Pornstarempire.com: I have read that you like to choreograph your sex scenes before you shoot them, is this correct?
Jim Holliday: Yes. The choreography by itself is not just me, like a lot of directors, saying “here’s what you do”, it’s me sitting down and basically a half an hour before the scene…I’ll sit down and throw out an idea for the participant. But one of my strongest axioms is 90 percent of the directing in X-rated movies is casting. And I happen to think that I am really good at casting. One of the other things I innovated was the “first time ever” scene, the concept of deliberately hiring two people who’d never worked together and wanted to. Hell, I did that a dozen years ago, and now everybody’s series is “first time this” and “filthy first timers” and whatever. But I will talk to talent and outline what could be a blockbuster scene. Then I listen to their input. And a lot of girls don’t like certain positions…a lot of guys have trouble f---ing in other positions…but I will explain to them politely that that’s unfortunately the position which is best for camera exposure. I also always shoot around any imperfections in talent. I could shoot a one-legged guy f---ing a one-armed woman and you’d never know they were missing their limbs.
Pornstarempire.com: Do the studios give you final edit on your movies?
Jim Holliday: VCA has always allowed me creative control. I want creative control more than money.
Pornstarempire.com: I’ve noticed that most of your films tend to be light-hearted and fun in nature. Is this an intentional theme you have tried to establish? Jim Holliday: This is a very honest answer: For the people that think it’s a defense mechanism because I’m afraid to make a serious movie, for fear of being mocked or ridiculed, they’re probably right. But I’ve also been a believer…there was an old adage, again from the theatrical days when I first started, there were people that would say “you can’t laugh and have a hard-on at the same time.” Well, I don’t know whether that’s true or not, but I’ve always believed, porn films should be fun and fluff. It’s a little bit of the Lenny Bruce philosophy…what would you rather watch, Jesus getting nailed to a cross, some guy getting shot, or some woman’s ass under a pillow being made love to? You’ve noticed I’ve never killed anybody in my movies, there’s never any marital angst, any high drama…the comedy to me is almost existential. And there are people that know some of the dialogue is way over most people’s heads. And they’ve asked if I do that deliberately, and the answer is yes, I have to amuse myself in some way. But I don’t try and be condescending to the viewer. Those are the expressions known as “Hollidayisms”. If I’m making reference to some Ambrose Bierce short story, it’s done in such a way that if you get it you get it, if you don’t get it, it’s not saying “ha ha, are you stupid?”
Luke F-rd - Sun Of The 21st Century
Recently a wall-paper praising the respected journalist Luke F-rd was seen pasted on a wall of the Larry Flynt building of Los Angeles, according to voice of National Salvation.
An article on the wall-paper said that the world's attention focuses on Los Angeles where Luke F-rd enforces independent journalism, adding that he is the greatest man steering pornography journalism.
It appealed to all people to hold in higher esteem and follow Luke F-rd, the sun of the 21st century who is admired by the world, and strive to implement the June 15 joint declaration in order to bring the day of pornhesion when they will enjoy happiness under his warm care.
Terribly Cheeky Christina
Christina writes: What I really am is terribly cheeky...not to mention the fact that I find you amusing. I wonder if your friends are right; does one in some form of public eye attract more women. Or is there a quality about you that is both appealing and scary...and is it this quality that attracts women to you and attracts you to some sort of public life.
You have yet to respond to my scheme of babies, writing, and organic cheese. We could throw sheep in there as well...I will take up knitting.
Hmmm, you so unbending! I don't know about the shul. There is however a Buddhist centre. They run a private school out of it. Half of the day the kids follow typical curriculum, and half of the time they learn about nature, and grow organic veggies. They don't teach Buddhism, just how to be a good and caring person. Can't the cheese be kosher? That will be our marketing gimic. I am sure you can eat seafood. You probably just don't like it.
I might have to say no anyways. Your eyes are hazel, which will lower our chances of having blued eyed babies. Probably only one out of four would have blue eyes. What a shame really.
Luke responds: Unbending, you say. My dear, I am totally rigid. Hard as a pole. Strong. Firm. Upright. Extending to the sky. And nothing will slack the uprightness of my commitment to the Torah. So why don't you put your mouth around that and savor the firmness and the steely texture of my unbending commitment to my tradition?
Christina responds: You wish!!!!
Luke responds: Is that a yes?
Christina: You yourself said it was ONLY 5 inches. I don't think your "faith" could possibly reach from there all the way to here. Anyways, even if it could, you couldn't handle it if I did put my mouth around your commitment. Anyway, I thought you were supposed to be Orthodox?
Luke: I am an Orthodox Jew with an erection.
Christina writes: I must tell you, after I hung up I caught sight of myself in the mirror, and I was blushing like no tomorrow. You are so bad.....you really did post that!
Lynne writes Luke: I miss you. The orthodox erection stuff was funny. The best thing about having 5 inches, Lukey, is that it is easily deep throated....but we know you lie about everything, and you're probably hung like John Holmes...
Did You Read Tod Hunter Today?
Tod Hunter writes on AVNGossip.com: "Okay, I'm in a right crappy mood. Went to Burger King for my usual spartan (read: cheap) lunch of 49-cent cheeseburgers and the damn kid behind the counter gave me the senior discount on my Diet Coke, which is a good five years premature, the little snot, and then I come back to see what the hell's going on in the land of the Internet pornmeisters and what do I see but that my boss Paul Fishbein is not going to be on The Tera Show this next Tuesday the 19th and I have to read this on Luke F-rd's site?!?!?? Hello Paul? I WORK HERE. Clue me in on this stuff now and then, willya?
"Had lunch last week with Wicked Pictures VP Joy King and Publicist Daniel Metcalf and they told me that Rebecca Gray did not write Wicked's The Kissing Game, which got a solo writing credit by Brad Armstrong. They also said Brad was very surprised by the allegation."
Luke says: My source remains firm that Rebecca did write the movie. Perhaps she wrote the script under a different title and it was transformed into The Kissing Game? I've emailed Wicked for comment.
Tod Hunter could also ask his fellow AVN scribe Ken Michaels, who allegedly has alleged that Rebecca Gray wrote The Kissing Game.
Believing that their own employer is on shaky ground, one or two members of the AVN editorial department, I've heard, have talked to people at Wicked Pictures about employment opportunities.
Gene writes:
1. When it comes to Wicked Pictures, Tod Hunter is a major practitioner of artful obsequiousness, so his attempts to curry favor would be thoroughly understandable
2. Bryn Pryor and Joy King of Wicked are oooooooooh so tight and thus the pipeline for Gray to Wicked has already been established; wouldn't be surprising if Pryor's already directed some features for them on-the-sly.
3. Gray's participation in The Kissing Game was big talk of the AVN office.
Ken Wood, as quoted on Luke F-rd: "I noticed that Luke and Gene jumped all over my comments about Tod Hunter dating porn star Sonja Redd. I've never had a problem with anybody having a relationship with somebody in the industry providing that they did not seek to influence things on that person's behalf at awards time..."
Tod here: Two things:
1. I do not discuss my relationship with Sonja Redd.
2. I may have suggested her at the Nominations meeting but everybody went along with it. And if I had any "influence... at awards time" she would have won.
Farrell Timlake from HomegrownVideo.com writes Tod: Remember the flick "Mutiny on the Bounty"? Of course, as you being the film buff that you are would be quite well aware that I am referring to the Brando version.
A classic is a classic, especially when it is based on a true story, which of course the story of the HMS Bounty was a true tale. Do you recall? So full of moral dilemma. An admiral who is hard facing many problems in a turbulent sea, then finding salvation on an island paradise. There, he is only to find that once order is restored and all are denied their ephemeral splendor, the crew chooses mutiny and sets a lamentable course.
Now, who was right or wrong when both are right and wrong? I think, if I remember correctly, the theme of the film is that there must be some order, some structure of decree even in paradise I am not going to give away the epilogue. Everyone should see it. History just may be repeating itself once again. Let's watch and see. You know what I mean?
Tod Hunter writes: Ken Michaels - apparently the "source" of the Rebecca-Gray-wrote-Kissing-Game story - offers this description of what really happened:
"No, I haven't "alleged" that Rebecca wrote The Kissing Game. I read about it on the websites (just like everyone else). A few people here have asked me about it and my comment to them (after checking the AVN database) was that she had apparently written THE REVIEW - gave it an Editor's Choice. Thus I opined that IF she had written the movie - whether her review was an honest one or not - that could be seen as bad.
"Somebody at AVN - the editorial offices in particular, which is where the subject was discussed - needs to get their bulls--- straight before they talk with their friends and/or report it to Luke and Gene. And yeah, I've asked Rebecca about this. She tells me she wrote the review but not the flick."
Porner Responsibility
JGiles writes on RAME: There is absolutely nothing wrong with making copies of porn vids for your own use. Even if that were to cut down the revenues of some of these companies, I guarantee they will stay in business no matter what because so many people would gladly run a porn company at cost.
Furthermore, porn is the ultimate junkfood for the mind and everyone who sells it knows that they are selling into the strongest potential psychological addiction people have, and that they will look at the lowest quality just to see it. If you make copies of magazines or videos, there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Elegant Angel is an example of a company that is already using techniques to try to tap into creating porn addiction in their customers, and they do the same with one of their advertisements I've seen for phone sex before some of their videos. Essentially, one of the biggest porn companies is trying to break down marriages and do whatever possible to create compulsive sex addiction. We know that most of these companies stand for nothing ethical whatsoever and do not try to uphold any common denominator of ethics other than maybe safe sex.
Most businesses at least exist in a community of some sort and try to project an image of some limited role of being a responsible and participating citizen. Pornographers seek to make everything as totally anonymous as possible from their point of production to the end product.
Porn writes Nick Adams writes: the FBI warnings on most tapes usually say "unauthorized duplication for commercial purposes" or words to that effect. The difference is pretty clear-cut.
If you buy a Disney tape for your kid and don't want to have to buy another copy in two weeks because she plays it over and over until the tape melts ... that's acceptable use. Charging people to watch the tape (or using it to dub 500 more copies and sell them on ebay) is illegal.
Copying rental tapes is a gray area. I've got a buddy who rents half a dozen, dubs them all while he's at work and/or asleep, the returns the originals the next day. With four VCRs it's easier to do that and watch a dub a night than it would be to drive to the store and rent one every night for a week. As you pointed out, there's nothing unethical (or particularly illegal) about that. On the other hand, I think people who order a tape online, dub it and then send it back and ask for a refund are going straight to porn hell. :>
So are all those people who got Tomb Raider Chronicles, beat it in three days and then took it back to Babbages, claiming it wouldn't run on their PC. Motives do matter. :>
Fishbein Cancels His Appearance On Tera Show
Monday morning, AVN publisher Paul Fishbein cancelled his appearance on the Tera Patrick show December 19th. Fishbein had been promising to answer all questions.
Then Digital Playground, sponsor of the show, sent out a press release promising that various adult journalists would be in the audience to see Fishbein answer the tough questions.
Paul's now chickened out. He's using the excuse that his lawyers have counselled him to not comment.
I bet Fishbein's racked up over $10,000 in legal fees dealing with the charge from the GeneRossExtreme.com.
As the Talmud says, silence implies consent. By staying silent, Fishbein and AVN are implying that Gene and Ken's charges are true. After all, Gene and Ken had a first person view of almost everything they've stated.
If I was accused of the things Fishbein's been accused of, you'd never be able to keep me silent. I sure wouldn't hide behind lawyers.
And speaking of Gene, let's go to his site and check his highlights:
Rossano walked and later began publishing his memoirs although taken to task for it from rats within the Luca Fordzi organization who accused him of breaking omerta- the code of silence. An odd comment to make since codes of silence usually suggest there were coverups of a sinister nature to begin with.
Concerned writes: Dear Mr. Ross: Up until six weeks ago there were two things that the entire rag tag porn industry could agree upon: 1) that Gene Ross makes red baseball caps a fashion must and 2) that Gene Ross is the consummate gentleman. Well, I see from recent photos of you on l-keford.com that a new blue baseball cap now accents your Hawaiian shirts and from the recent bile on your site I can only surmise that your gentlemanliness is laying along side your old red cap in the dumpster.
Mr. Ross, you are a role model to so many porn fans and with that popularity comes a great responsibility to model proper social etiquette. Only a vulgarian uses common gutter language to make his point. A gentleman expresses his displeasure by using sophistication and wit. So instead of referring to Mark Kearnes as "Jabba" why don't you use a gentler descriptor like "zaftig" to refer to his immense girth? Instead of writing that your ex-employer, Paul Fishbein, is a "cheap f---ing Jew" merely say that he is "remarkably similar to Luke F-rd." And instead of saying "the stench of Rebecca Gray's vagina is all over the AVN awards" just use the old idiom "something smells fishy with the AVN awards."
Won't you please tame foul language and restore decency and civility to your site?
Luke Gets Mail
Dean writes: hey Luke, first let me say, how much I loved your site. Totally awesome! ... My question is this... And maybe you can help me. Im looking for a list of adult book distributors. I tried using the search engines and had no luck. Do you know where I can find quality adult book distributors?... Also, I almost forgot, Im the co-owner of a cool website that teaches anyone how to start an adult video business. The site has had a lot of positive feedback. And I would love for you to do an article on it. When you get a chance, check it out... i really think you'll love it. .. Anyway, thanks for reading my letter, and feel free to drop me a line:) Dean the site-www.rayscorner.com
Amused writes: Say what you want about the authenticity of the Larry Flint special, but one fact is undeniable ... the toupee Bob Guccione was wearing was fantastic. His best ever!
Ian writes: Hi Luke, A couple of things. "It was bizarre for Herschel Savage, Thursday night at Hustler Hollywood, to bring his whole family to see his induction. I wouldn't bring my kids to the AVN Awards even though they're over 18. It was weird to see Herschel, with his 12-year old son, put their hands in cement."
It's funny, but I was looking at a Herschel Savage film scene this morning and thinking: this is someone who really enjoys his work. He performed in such a way that I could imagine myself in his place! I have no higher praise for a porn performer. If he got an award, then as far as I'm concerned he deserved it.
You quoted Rob Black on Ben Dover: "Now, what about that cover on the topic "Gonzo in the year 2000?" Who was the main guy featured on your cover? Ben Dover? I mean, c'mon, who the f--- is Ben Dover? You really mean to tell me that Ben Dover is more representative of gonzo than Byron, that this limey is the standard-bearer for this genre??? Please, that doesn't even deserve a f---ing response. If you think Ben Dover makes better gonzo videos than Tom Byron, Fishbein, you'd better retire right now."
Mr Black knows more than me about the industry, but not about the quality of porn. Ben Dover has made countless damn fine gonzo films, whereas Tom Byron - however fine a porn performer he may be - hasn't.
Noah writes: Luke, Howard had a couple so-called afficiandos of porn on today to see who knew more. The winner got to go to the AVN awards this year. Read about it here: www.marksfriggin.com The questions were totally easy. Even someone who occasionally watches or reads about porn would know the answers. Thanks.
Dating Tips From Women
Rumdar writes: More often than not dating advice from women friends stinks. For instance a friend's wife told me the best way to get poontang from a date is to take her home, say goodnight and leave. No kiss, no nothing. She said a guy did that to her twice and she grabbed him, kissed him and f---ed his brains out. I fell at her feet and thanked her.
I went into battle confident I had top notch, secret info that was going to make me cunt man deluxe. I could only imagine all the nookie I was going to get now that I had the key to success. I tried it out on a new girl. We would go out, I would take her home. Leave her at the door without so much as a peck on the cheek. "Thanks, I had a wonderful time" NOTHING. Six dates later and considerably poorer I decided to go back to conventional tactics. I went for the gold and she said "No, I don't know you well enough (don't you hate that one?) I always want to reply "bitch you know me well enough to have me pick up all the tabs" Anyway I never asked her out again. I heard through the grapevine she was already boffing some guy she met on a cruise. Beware in tips from other women.
Fred writes: I think the thing that prompted Rumdar's latest e-mail was this. He opined that women are suspicious of any 40-45 year old male who has never been married. His comment was that one is better off telling prospective girlfriends that one has an ex-wife and a couple of kids in Oklahoma rather than fessing up and saying, "no, I've never been married."
I thought I'd check this story out, so I bounced it off an ex-girlfriend, who said, no, that might have been true five years ago, but no longer. As long has you've had one or more significant relationships. Tell them you were going to get married, but that your fiance refused to sign the prenuptual agreement.
Rumdar's response: no--you'll look miserly. Also, beware of getting dating advice from ex-girlfriends. (Of course, I must admit, this ex-girlfriend gave me terrible stock tips, but her taste in things like clothing, furniture, etc. seem OK.)
Luke--let's get the thoughts of Lynn, Kendra, NJG and Brandy. Would they be suspicious of a never-been-married 40-yr-old male. Is he better off making up a story about an ex-wife and two kids in Oklahoma, or is he better up making up the story about the prenuptual agreement, or is he better off without the story. Or does it matter?
Lynne writes: I have no experience with a forty-year-old never-married man, but I have some experience with a 38-, almost 39-year-old never-married man, and when I described him in the locker room, the women guffawed. Lying always gets the relationship off to a bad start, and never mention money at the beginning of a relationship -- it does look miserly, as Rumdar said. Be disarmingly honest and say, "My name is XXX, and I will never marry." Women will offer you blistering hot sex in the belief that they will be able to change your mind.