Tuesday, June 20th, 2000

JT Video Says 'Nancy Vee is a Flake and a Stupid Drunken Whore'

JTVideo writes: nancy v just pulled a no-show for one of my private video shoots tonite. http://surf.to/jtvideo

she did confirm on sunday that she would be there and exclaimed several times that she is not a flake! after 30mins past i called her home and she answered and i could tell she was drunk. she claimed she would be there in 20 mins. i told her to please dont drive drunk! she just mumbled something and i told her she had 30minutes to get here or dont come at all. it was to be a 2girl and 1male shoot but we just proceeded with the one girl. nancy never showed or answered her phone or called. hope shes ok and gets help.

Porn Power

Chaim Amalek writes: Why bother being a big man in the world of porno if it does not get you laid? Luke, I imagine that there is a world of people who get off on sniffing fecally soiled undergarments. In that world there are stars and players and big money men. One could, I suppose, be big in that world, but why bother?

I have no insight to offer you on any of this, as these folks might as well be from Io for all I know or ever think about them. It just seems so pointless. What is the point of being number one in porn gossip? So that gives you influence over the porners - what would you do with that influence? How would it benefit you or your sponsor? That is the critical part to this that I just do not get. At the end of the day, you still live in a hovel and drive a van that looks like it ought to be hauling around gardening implements.

Oh hell, strike it. This is your thing, what you want to do, it does not take much effort and you get to hang around sexually available shiksas all day long. And you get paid for it! Most of us do not do any better in our jobs.

Luke: I like power. I like walking into a room and see people suck their breath in...and have people fear me and i have fans and readers and influence and a nice life. I like power. I am one of the most important persons in entertainment, it just happens I specialize in adult entertainment...me and matt drudge and dan rather and michael eisner. And it gives me a good platform to promote ethical montheism.

Chaim: But Luke, the fundamental reason that men seek power in the first place is the wombs that power provides access to for the deposit of one's DNA. And you are stuck trying to impress some multi-boyfriend lawyer, and because of your faith, refuse to take advantage of what that power buys.

Or maybe you DO take advantage of it. In which case your previous message to me is an example of someone using the Torah as a cover for his own selfishness in refusing to do a fellow human being a favor. No wonder everyone hates the jews!

Seriously, you are NOT going to promote judaism among porn people. You really DO use that as a cover to make your vocation more palatable to the gullible.

You really need to get out of this piss-ant website ghetto and get yourself some regular radio time! Don't believe the hype - the real media, the stuff that engages large numbers of people simultaneously, are radio and broadcast/cable television. (Why not pull out all the stops, and I do mean ALL the stops, and invite some radio/tv execs for a private tour of the porn industry? Luke, you have not been taking full advantage of what you have built up over the years!)

Regarding the Jewish strain of thought you see here, my former Hebrew school teachers would be proud (I think). You know what they say in cheder - "Give us the child, and we will give you the man."

Stephanie Swift Dates 18 Year Old High School Student

I got this email: "If you don't believe me, either ask her or you'll see her with some young 18year old out on the town. Anyway, I know her present boyfriend really well. I go to the same high school, that he goes to. I am friends with him. Stage name, Stephanie Swift is dating XXX an 18 year old senior at XXX Real High school... Stephanie has moved Stephen into her apartment after a month of dating. It's been probably 4 months now and she pays him a couple of hundred dollars a week as her personal assistant. He drives her XXX to school everyday. He also told me that 28 year old Stephanie Swift is so deeply in love with him that she wants to quit the porn business and have his baby. Rumor has it that she likes young boys. 18 year old XXX is living the life as she adores him and treats him with royalty. She pays him to work for her, he gets to live at her apartment rent free, he gets to drive her XXX, she pays for everything,and she told him that it is okay for him to get with other girls as long as he brings the girls home to share with her.Stephanie plans to take XXX traveling around the world for a year with her after he graduates high school this June.Stephanie will be taking XXX and his friends with her to the porn convention July 8-10 in Las Vegas. Stephanie is REAL DUMB and XXX is REAL PIMP. I heard she has really low self esteem, and she cries about being in porn and tries to hurt herself. She is also a molestor who likes little boys if you ask me. XXX is in it for the free ride and she is really in love with him. We'll probably hear about her doing something crazy after he dumps her and gets tired of her. For crying out loud he is only 18. She'll probably do something drastic when the end of their relationship comes. She getting used hardcore."

Luke: I talked to Stephanie Swift, Wicked contract girl, Monday night.

Stephanie: "It sounds like someone is very bitter. And I don't think that it is someone that he knows. It sounds like someone who knows me. It sounds very malicious.

"Yeah, I do have a boyfriend that is 18. The only reason I am trying to keep it down is that his family doesn't need to be exposed to this right now.

"He writes: 'she told him that it is okay for him to get with other girls as long as he brings the girls home to share with her.' That's been me with every person I've been with. That's how I've been as long as I've been in the business. I feel that as long as I am in the business and I am not completely belonging to that person, then it is only fair, regardless of whether I am doing it for work or not... It's easier for someone to deal with when you're allowed to experience other people.

"I am going to be taking my boyfriend on the road with me. I will be taking him and some of his friends to the convention. They were with at Erotica LA."

Luke: "They're going to have the time of their life."

Stephanie: "Of course. Why not? They're all good people."

Luke: "It sounds like Houston taking that guy to the Senior Prom except that this is real."

Stephanie: "I'm not trying to hide that I have a relationship. I've already written it in a column I have for Club International.

"I don't think it's anyone's business how much time he spends with me. Most of it is very accurate but I am not quitting the porn business to have his baby. I've been in the business six years. I've been married. If I was going to have a baby, I would've had one by now. That's stupid."

Luke: "Will he be working on camera with you?"

Stephanie: "Oh no."

Luke: "Is he still in high school?"

Stephanie: "He graduates Thursday."

Luke: "Oh my. How awesome would that be? To still be in high school and dating a porn chick."

Stephanie: "It's just a coincidence. He could've been any age. He just happens to be 18. He's not 18 mentally. He's very mature and kind hearted. He doesn't care about me being in the business. I'm just a girl named Stephanie that he likes.

"And this whole thing about me being real dumb. Everybody really believes that. Every time I'm mentioned in this business it is as the nerdy porn star. The porn star with a brain."

Luke: "Do you like younger men?"

Stephanie: "It's not about the fact that I like younger men. Because I have a tendency to have more in common with people who are younger than me. Everybody that I have dated that has been my age or older, they don't want to focus on one person. They're too busy looking for other people all the time. I've just found younger people more grounded. I have had more friendships and relationships with people younger than me, for however long it lasts. Because they are more into focusing on one thing at a time, whether it is a committed relationship or not. They don't have as much experience so they get more interested and more excited about what they have in front of them."

Luke: "How did you meet him?"

Stephanie: "I went to a place looking for kneepads. That's where he was working at. So I met him. I needed kneepads for rollerblading."

Luke: "What's going on with your career right now?"

Stephanie: "I just finished two movies. One is "Generation Sex" and the other one is "Curl Up And Sigh," a little spa movie. I shot it with Bob and Deborah Chinn. We had four days to do two movies. It was right after I got back from the Cannes Film Festival..and London where Club International rented a castle. We did six photo shoots. I'm leaving tomorrow to go dance at the Gold Club in Hartford, Connecticutt."

Luke: "How many movies do you make a year?"

Stephanie: "Last year eight and this year six."

Luke: "And you're happy at Wicked?"

Stephanie: "Oh yeah, definitely."

Luke: "They're good people. They promote their girls better than any other company."

Stephanie: "I completely agree."

Luke: "And I think Steve treats his girls better than any other company."

Stephanie: "I've been with another company [Elegant Angel] and you can't compare them because they are so different. But comparing Wicked with the others, I think we are treated better than the other girls."

Stephanie's ex-husband Reuben shoots ten black blowjobs Wednesday at Rob Spallone's.

Amused writes: This is great PR for Wicked. PORN STAR DATES HIGHSCHOOL STUDENT! You know that the tabloid media is going to have a field day with this one, especially the part about meeting him buying knee pads. But I say SO WHAT! The media is full of old geezers shacking up with young women like Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones. I say, Go Stephanie! To bad for me you were in pig tails and a plaid school girl's skirt when I was in high school. (Wait a second. She's still in pigtails and a plaid school girl's skirt.)

A porn star hooking up with a highschool senior is really no big thing in fact I think every adult film company should have each of their contract stars adopt a Los Angeles area high school. Think about it. How many fathers would miss Back to School Night for TV wrestling if they knew a porn star was going to be on campus? Who is going to have the longest line of students in front of their booth at career day: Mr. Fireman, Miss Nurse, or Ms. Porn Star? What male student would drop out of school if the prize for perfect attendance was a lap dance from their school's Patron Pornlet? Tell me you wouldn't pay attention in health class if it was being taught by Sharon Mitchell. How about the Senior Trip? Disneyland? Booo! Moonlight Bunny Ranch? Yaaay! School's could add vocational classes in "Pimpin'", "Mackin'" and adult web page design. These skills are essential in today's work place.

Porners do you duty for the future of America! Adopt a highschool today!

Goddess writes: Go get 'em, Stephanie! I just hope she got to go to the prom one more time.....

Fred Esq writes: The story about Ms. Swift is pretty wild. What do you make of the fact that she's 28 and dating an 18 year old--symptomatic of a psychological quirk, or a random event without psychological significance?

This is interesting. If it is a psychological quirk, it would be interesting to know a) what is the nature of this quirk, and b) is it related to her work in porn? I wonder if she is attracted to boys because they are less threatening and easier to control.

Ms. Swift says it is simply a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and the fact that it is between a 28 yr old woman and an 18 yr old boy is almost random and fortuitous, without psychological significance. I speculate that if she is attracted to boys for reasons of a psychological quirk, she may not even be cognisant of the quirk.

Then again, one of my former law school classmates is in her late 40s, and she's dating a 22 year old. I don't think I've ever seen her date or live with anyone her own age, and I don't think she's ever had one bit of trouble getting a boyfriend in his twenties.

I once discussed this with a mutual friend of ours (another law school buddy, female, early 40's). Her comment was this: "How the hell does XXXXXXXX do it? Oh well--if she can get away with it, more power to her.)

I asked XXXXXXX about why her 22-yr-old boyfriend was dating her, a woman in her late 40's. Her answer was something on the order of "I don't care about his motives. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." (Not her words, but that was the idea.)

All of this kind of reminds me of the Tom Lehrer song,

Oh, there once was a man named Oedipus Rex.
You may have heard about his odd complex.
His name is listed in Freud's index cause he loved his mother.

His rivals used to say quite a bit
that as a monarch he was most unfit
but still and all they had to admit
that he loved his mother.

Yes he loved his mother
like no other
his daughter was his sister
and his son was his brother.

On one thing that you can depend is
he sure knew who a boy's best friend is.
When he learned what he had done
he tore is eyes out one by one.

A tragic end to a loyal son
who loved his mother.

Anyway, Ms. Swift dating or living with an 18 year old is an outrage. A woman like that should be dating or living with a 40-yr old lawyer going through a 4-alarm mid-life crisis. Anything else would be contrary to the the laws of nature. Luke, we've got to do something. I think I may be able to help. Have her contact me immediately.

Regards, Fred, Esq., attorney and part time therapist specializing in whatever he can get away with.

Emmett writes: I am elated that Stephanie Swift is falling in love with Stephen who is 18 years old. I hope their relationship is prosperous and forever but I hope she takes her time getting to know him. I would hate to read Stephanie and Stephen relationship turned sour due to his age. Stephen maybe mature for his age...but how mature is he? When I was 18 and the people I associated with at my age level were not fully seasoned yet. Especially the men. Some of the young men I knew were very mature for their ages but still needed at least five years to understand the world around them and apply the knowledge their guardians taught them. If she did move him in to her apartment, she may had rushed in it too soon. I personally believe she should date him for a lot longer before seriously getting involved with him. I am 21, and from my experience of having to had known and hung around 18 year old guys, is that most men have trouble separating love lust from love at that age. I hope is Stephen is falling in love with mind and not her body. Either way, I wish them the best.

Damien Michaels House Under Surveillance

Phyllisha Anne says: "For the next 30 days, Damien Michaels' shooting house in West Hills, Rob Spallone's old house, is under surveillance. Anyone who shoots up there will get busted unless they have a permit. If people need a replacement house, they can use mine. Or Luke's."

Damien Michaels left me a message in response but I was not able to understand his phone number. Please call me back Damien.

Kendra Jade Retires From Movies

After a rewarding month with her family back East, Kendra Jade says she's stopped doing X-rated movies. She helps out in the office at Realpornworld.com and dances in clubs.

Tommy Enters Porn

Email: Damn it, Luke, when I hit "send" my computer crashed - maybe Yahweh is trying to keep this message from getting to you. I'll try again.

It would be a shame to let of the porn knowledge you've gleaned go to waste, so here's the deal: I want to make porn, but have little knowledge of the industry, while you are full of it (knowledge that is). I have already lined up talent, crew, shooting and editing equiptment, but wouldn't know what to do after completing the product (everything from producing the boxcovers to distribution). How 'bout this, l-keford.com readers write a script, I shoot it, and then you coach me on what to do after. You can chronicle the whole thing and write another porn book, this time from a player's perspective. Plus you could make a little change selling the vid on your site. C'mon, Luke, help a guy out. We'll even make it kosher - no shooting on the Sabbath, no pork on set, no actresses with seven days of their periods (or whatever the hell that rule is).

Thank you for your consideration, Tommy (formerly the Official Magician of Porn; soon to be Voice of a New Porn Generation)

NBA

I haven't watched basketball for 12 years. I don't understand why the games are so low scoring now. They used to be 122-115, now they tend to be 91-83 and the like. Who's going to win this game?

Chaim: The team with all the black millionaires. I think that it is a sin before God to root for any team that Hollywood's assholes root for. Remember, these people never root for America. Why should we root for those who are rooted for by those who rooted for the Viet Cong?

> Which girl should I sign as my contract girl?

The one with the best (real) tits who will put out for you 24-7 in exchange for this favor.

Luke, I see from the morning news that the young men of Los Angeles are upset. They are burning cars, looting and so forth. Strangely, much like New York's Central Park wolf-packs, they also seem to be darker in coloration than the founding fathers of the United States or the list of men who have won the Nobel Prize in physics or medicine.

The sound on my television is turned down, so I cannot tell why they are rioting. Has there been another Rodney King episode? Have conservatives cut back on affirmative action? Or perhaps young white women have collectively decided to date only within their race? Please clue me in on the underlying societal causes of what I see on my Time-Warner approved screen, and tell me what I, as a Jew, can do to make them happier about being Americans.

Chaim Amalek, Concerned Upper West Side Liberal

Luke: End white racism now!

I found it traumatizing to watch the rioting last night, watching the moral underpinnings of my society get thrashed and the police stand by and do nothing. Correct that, the police congratulated themselves for doing nothing. I've been shaking with anger all day. Reminds me of the LA Riots.

Jew Porner was right in the middle of things last night.

Jew at noon: "I'm at the Hyatt on Sunset Blvd and getting ready to go to Beverly Hills to have lunch with a friend of mine. I went to the Laker game last night and sat on the floor. The most out of control thing I've ever seen. We took a stretch hummer [big army jeep] with a bunch of webmasters from Herbalo.com. These guys are the bomb. These guys are the best guys on the internet. They're just fun, great dudes.

"I can't believe they rented a hummer. It was about 100 feet long. A heavy artillery vehicle. Nobody messed with us. We left the riots last night. We were in great shape. We just went right through that thing.

"I saw the fire and I saw them rocking the cars and trucks. It was crazy. Darren brought his camera for the D$-moneyshow.com.

"We were sitting on the floor next to Jack Nicholsen. I hugged Stephen Spieldberg when we won the championship. D$ was trying to get it on tape and he just missed it. There were a bunch of celebrities sitting around us. We had Brad Pitt sitting right next to us and Jennifer Aniston. Mathew McConnaugh."

Luke: "And you were safe."

Jew: "You know me. I'm always in the right place at the right time."

Luke: "Were you scared when you saw the rioting?"

Jew: "Not really. We knew it would get heated really fast because there were so many people running around in circles outside. We just said, let's get the hell over to our limo. And there were just so many limousines outside the Staples Center last night. Thank God we had a hummer because we were able to see.

"We ran to it real quick. And when we got in it, we saw police cars everywhere. It was nutty. Just another day in the porn game.

"They blocked off Sunset Blvd last night. It was nuts with people running up and down the street. Did you hear all the honking? People were flashing on the streets."

Vivid Gossip

Sky's contract with Vivid Video is up Friday and she's fielding offers from Extreme, Elegant Angel, Digital Playground, and others.

Sky, Taylor Hayes and Raylene are on their way out from Vivid and maybe headed for Digital Playground.

XXX: I can't believe Vivid signed Dayton. That's a shocker. She's a bit rough and worn out. A real step down from the quality of girls they used to sign. You should see her with her makeup off.

Kobe Tai is pregnant and getting married next month. She's retired from porn.

Den writes: I am just a fan of porn and I like to know the latest on where most of the main girls are signed and how those companies are? Im just mainly interested in reading and learning about the pornstars. I come to this site all the time and love it. I hope you dont mind that I email you and ask the questions. Please dont be mad, but most of the time I spell correct. DO you know of any sites that give tons of info on what stars are signed where? IS it true Taylor Hayes and Raylene are leaving vivid and how is the digital playground production company. I know they have tera patrick signed and she is hot.

Luke: To the best of my knowledge, it is not yet clear where these girls will be going. Digital Playground is a well capitalized and well run operation which signs the hottest looking girls. Other sites to read include GeneRoss.com, Talkingblue.com, Stunningcurves.com, AINews.com, AVN.com and RAME.net.

Gossip

XXX: "He got this girl [18 year old European porn girl] so f---ed up on crack she can't even breathe. He's got her hooked on crack. She's been bleeding nonstop for a month. He's making her have sex for money to pay his bills. She came to California thinking she was going to be a model. The big American dream. And she meets somebody like YYY."

Remembering Highpitched Eric

I called Rob Spallone at Realpornworld.com this afternoon, interrupting his shooting of four girl-girl scenes.

First I talked to Dynamite's husband Gary.

Luke: "How's she recovering from her gangbang?"

Gary: "Dynamite's healthy and happy and headed for Reno. She's working at the Bunny Ranch. She's got to clear the doctor thing Tuesday so it will be Wednesday before she can see people."

Rob: "We're getting prepared for next week when we shoot Sopornos 2.

"We had a lot of laughs with Eric. It was a day that a lot of people will not forget."

Luke: "What was your impression of highpitched Eric?"

Rob: "I think I am going to hell. I think he's very very nice but I think he's mentally retarded. Now he calls me collect every day. I think he's in love with me and he wants to marry Dynamite."

Luke: "Did you see him having sex with Dynamite?"

Rob: "I certainly did."

Luke: "What sort of experience was that to watch?"

Rob: "It was something that I will never forget. It was frightening. It will be a long time before I can have sex with my wife again."

Luke: "What position did he use?"

Rob: "I will give you the new technology for this. He used the Operation Technique. He laid on his back like he was going to ER."

Gary: "It was the cowgirl position."

Rob: "It was the cowgirl for Dynamite but Eric thought he was in the operating room."

Luke: "Why do you think you're going to hell for it?"

Rob: "Because I think he's a mentally retarded kid, a mongaloid. He told me that Howard Stern is the king of radio but Rob Spallone is the king of porn."

I surfed over to RealPornWorld.com and watched some of the taped highlights of Eric's encounter with Dynamite. Obese and white, he lies on his back. He's unable to sustain an erection. Dynamite jacks him off by hand. He gets a bit hard and she sits on top of him and stuffs him inside her. He doesn't last long. So she hops off and jacks more.

Then Eric shreaks, "I'm going to cum now."

He turns on his side towards her and tries to shoot on her breasts. Instead he dribbles into her hands. The room erupts in cheers though Wayne the cameraman complains that Eric did not give him a ten second warning as promised.

Rob: "Howard Stern said it was funnier than a Jerry Lewis movie.

"I was talking to Eric all day. I told him, you don't know how lucky you are. You don't have to be the first guy. You're number 21. You get to go in when it's all warm and wet. He said, yeah, yeah."

Dirty Bob wants Dynamite's husband Gary to call him.

DaveCummings> High-pitch Eric, Howard Stern's guy from the Dynamite GB telephoned me yesterday looking for contacts for him to pursue porn acting in NYC:-)

DaveCummings> I sent him my article on "Getting Started in Porn" ---told him to find such a beautiful girl that a producer/director would let him work with her if she insisted. Told him that she had to be far nicer than the other hundreds of girls who will indeed "work" with any already-established stud of the Director's choosing.

Canadian Immigration Rejects Nina Hartley

Nina was due for a week-long stint at Deja Vu outside Toronto, but was disallowed entry to Canada today due to insufficient documentation.

John Arnold writes: People should pick up the August 2000 issue of Live Young Girls Magazine, which is currently on newsstands. It has my article--Twat Spots--Top Teen Summer Hangouts. The pictorials are good, too.

I'm not surprised that Nina Hartley was refused entry into Canada--the Canadian border guards are real hard asses; they gave me a hard time when I passed through last summer.

Net Gossip

XXX: Just heard from a former employee of one of the Big 4 that the grapevine says CCBill.com is looking to SELL... Maybe the mass exodus from Epoch wasn't the right move? Food for thought!

Marc Learns How To Drive His Woman Wild In Bed

Marc: tonight--for journalistic purposes--i am attending "how to drive your woman wild in bed! all the time!" put on by the toronto branch of the learning annex. the speaker is "sex therapist and best-selling author" rebecca rosenblat. yes, it was her name that caught my attention first. i know, she's no martin amis. but any ideas about what i should ask???

Chaim Amalek writes: Marc, going to something like this (which I did about six years ago) is like injecting anti-viagra. No, it is worse, for when you depart from that lecture, you are going to have the taint of loserdom all over you. What next, Jewish Singles Weekends in the Catskills? (Or their Canadian equivalent)

But if you must go spend your evening with a bunch of men who cannot get dates and the woman who exploits them, here are some questions to ask:

What is the best way of telling a woman that she smells bad?

How should one best approach the topic of venereal warts?

Is there any way of determining in bed if a woman is a momzer?

Dear teacher, do you find me desirable? And do you have a man?

Where did you get your information from teacher, some nice sensitive man, or a hard-core rocker who gets laid by lots of hot chicks?

The dirty truth is that sex is not rocket science; even animals manage to pull it off. What counts is having the most beautiful woman it is possible for you to have who you like being with and who likes being with you. Once you have that, you will want to drive her wild in bed. Get stuck with some shlub and you will not want to and therefore won't, no matter what any parasitic author says.

I see that young intermarried Edgar Bronfman is selling one of world Jewery's citadels to the goyim for a few billion sheckels. Today Seagrams, tomorrow Haifa.

Luke Gets Mail

Nice Jewish Girl writes: Dear Stephanie: I support your decision to be with your bf 100%. It sounds like a love match, and I wish you good luck. Don't let what others say get you down girl.

Dear Kendra: I support your decision to leave films and we will always be friends :) . You are completely a 100% fine and sensitive human being, and I will be emailing you a personal note soon.

David writes: From the Albuquerque Alabi -a weekly paper from that city, an advertisement for Ron Jeremy's S&M Sideshow with special guests DJ Deep Throat, Cross Dressing Olympics & Banana Eating contest

The Pindowns -Female Oil Wrestling Hosted by Ron Jeremy (photo of a smiling Ron holding a babe)

Performing Stand up Comedy & Q&A Free Nut Roll to the first 100 people inside the door Saturday June 10th 9PM at the Launchpad $12 Advance $15 Day of the show

Besides being available from Ticketmaster tix are available at select Smith's Foodstores and at the New Mexico Scorpions (our NHL hockey team) box office!

There's something surreal about buying Ron Jeremy tickets at such locations, don't you think? "Let's see, did I get everything on my list? Bread, Milk, Cookies, Tickets to see the Hedgehog?" America! What a great country! I wonder if the nut log is a replica of his famous schlong.

Lynne writes: Somehow you feel that the mores of society do not apply to you, and that these women should find your obsessions and work amusing rather than horrifying (I'm paraphrasing you, here.) Just because you are beautiful enough for people to look the other way for a while, doesn't mean they don't eventually figure out that you are not who you say you are (or who you think you are, which is really confusing).

Hell, even in porno, in a lot of ways, you are not even my peer, young man. I went slumming in risk of tarnishing MY reputation with our association....(more worth it than you can know). I would rather see you going out with someone like Lysa from A.O. who can appreciate you for the wonderful things you are, and not go with women to whom you are a violation of their mind set.

It takes a bad girl (or at least a wannabe bad girl like NJG) to appreciate you, and you will not find a bad girl at shul (which is why you look there -- you are blind within your illness and don't perceive yourself as a real outlaw, yet in many ways you have more in common with the tattooed gangbangers than the suits.)

Me, I want to go the Stephanie Swift route -- if she's 28 and has an 18 year old lover, then at 44 I can have a 34 year old lover. I would, of course, prefer an 18 year old as well, but I'm quite happy with a slightly aged 34-year-old.

I am working on a book proposal based on Luke's archives and, between algebra homework, Field Studies in Comparative Religion and compulsive masturbation will have no time to supervise the doings here at l-keford.com. You Morons will have to get along without me until Luke leaves for the Holy Land. Just remember, I have hairy tattooed biker spies lurking about where you'd least expect them, so no lawsuits or death threats behind my back!

Lysa Stone: That's sweet, but Luke is a pal and I'm really in love with my man David who is, thankfully, not in this business. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the whole "women to whom you are a violation of their mind set" phrase. I've said it out loud about a hundred times and I can't think of a specific example. Besides, Luke is kinda like a pesky little cute brother and if he'd stop being a leering lech and let the nicer side come out more often, he might meet a really nice girl. I've given him my top 10 list of things he needs to do to not screw up a date so he knows but probably isn't ready yet!

SNloco@aol.com writes: Luke, Hello my name is Sandy, I'm not busty and beautiful, but I'm cute and I would like to enter the business. Don't really care if I'm a star just want to do it for a little while. I'm 22yrs old I would like to start with pitcures and may move up to something else. I've been checking out a site called 0ddessey.com and I like the stuff they do. Maybe some of those live internet interactive sex shows would be nice. Well, what can you tell me about getting into this and if there is anyone in the Indiana area that is replical to help me do this.