Tuesday, February 29, 2000

Email Luke

Hal Guthu Dead

The death of talent agent Hal Guthu was ruled a suicide by the coroner Tuesday afternoon. But other police sources say that Hal was murdered in a contract hit after a business deal went bad.

I hear that a safe of Hal's that kept lots of valuable information, possibly including models names and numbers, as well as photo negatives, was robbed.

I talked to Detective Scott Lusk Wednesday morning. He seeks the address for where Hal lived. Lusk's pager number is 714-201-1055.

Detectives are asking where Guthu kept his photos of famous people such as Marilyn Monroe and past client Demi Moore. At times, Hal would take out these photos and show them off. They're worth thousands of dollars.

As of yet, I do not know of a funeral or memorial service for Hal. If anyone wants to arrange one, let me know.

From GeneRoss.com: "Police are working on what stands now to be an uncontestable theory that agent Hal Guthu took his life in a very elaborate suicide, that Guthu cleared out all his property, set fire to his place and shot himself this past Sunday night. Both forensics and a coroner's report now support this theory, according to police. Police originally worked on the notion that Guthu may have been murdered but have since ruled that out. According to photog David Story who knew Guthu for 35 years, it wasn't likely that someone would have gotten the drop on Guthu and would have robbed him. "Nobody snuck up on him," said Story. "His desk faced Santa Monica Blvd. He could see out. Nobody could see in. You couldn't get in unless he buzzed you in. He was never in on the wekends unless he was building a set. He would not have opened the safe for anybody, even if he had a gun to his head," said Story. "He wasn't the type." Story said he thought Guthu was fairly wealthy, owning several apartment houses and a big home in the Valley. "In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him outside the studio," said Story. "He was very secretive."

From Tuesday's Los Angeles Times:

The discovery of a charred body after a fire that gutted the offices of a West Hollywood modeling and acting agency has triggered homicide and arson investigations.

Police said the body of a man, who has not been identified, was found in the offices of CHN International Agency in the 7400 block of Santa Monica Boulevard after a fire Sunday afternoon.

The building appeared to have burned in several places at once, indicating arson, authorities said. Sheriff's investigators, looking for the owner of the agency, 78-year-old Harold Guthu, brought in a bloodhound, which found his car several blocks away on Martel Avenue.

Clients and colleagues said the agency specialized in placing people in soft porn magazines and films, but also dealt with some mainstream films.

Lauren Montgomery said she had been a client of Guthu's for three years and that he helped her get a bit part in the Warren Beatty movie "Town and Country." She described Guthu as "the sweetest man you ever met." In 1970, Guthu shot a film with adult/soft porn director Ed Wood Jr.

Reb Sawitz, another adult-model agent, had been trying to contact Guthu after the fire. "He's one of the good guys in this industry," Sawitz said.

Nick Melillo writes Luke Sunday: "Today I recieved a phone call from a talent that I wortked with from CHN International, that the building was on fire. I went over there to see and met with an investigator that had no idea who the body was. It was Hal Guthu who was the kindest agent and helpful. The building was torched on a Sunday afternoon with him inside. Strange but sad, Hal told me he hadn't worked on weekends since he stopped taking pics. I told him I try not to also. Any info on anyone whom might have talked to him on Friday or Saturday or even Saturday should contact me (nrmone@earthlink.net) or Detective Scott Lusk at 213 890 5500.

"I am a photographer been working in adult for almost 25 years on the east coast, live in LA now, publish under Nickey Milo, work for Gent, Chic, asian Fever, you know the drill, spoke to him on wednesday or thursday, send models to him and shot his models, i went their last night at 7 pm and it was obvious they didn't have id on the body so I gave them a good description , it was confirmed it was him, looks like a homocide , they are inbvestigating it as one. unusual he was there on a sunday.he was a very nice man."

Luke: Hal Guthu has represented talent for softcore work since the 1960s. Hal worked frequently with Ed Wood. Hal has always kept his distance from hardcore. I talked to Hal a couple of years ago. He did not want to do an interview. He had stayed in touch with many of his girls, including Rene Bond who recently died from liver problems.

Dag writes: I was a model at Hals. I was told by the detectives today that Hal had a long-time battle with cancer and finally couldn't take it anymore. Why was his car found a day later 2 blocks away? I've known Hal for a long time. He has never looked like he had Kemo. He wanted me to work the day before he died. Why would he care about collecting his fee the day before a suicide? On a Sat! His front teeth were missing about 2 weeks ago. He said he was in a car accident, does anyone know if that was true? He would never kill his bird. Do you know what was destroyed in the fire? Did it start it the front? I would like to know how he died exactly. Do you know? The detec. wanted to know if I know where he kept the pictures of named celebrities. I've seen em a few times. I thought it was a little odd.

Deke Babomoto writes: Back in the day, Hal used to tell me that he would never send his girls out on "spread jobs." That was before penetration in early porn. Used to hang out at his offices on Santa Monica years ago scanning his books paying his fee then approaching the girls for employment in Japanese nightclubs for an outfit I was with back then. He mentioned about 100 times that he had had some kind of relationship with buxom mainstream actress Miko Mayama but that a bit actor with a bad toup had lured her away---Burt Reynolds. This makes for second "agency" guy whacked (I'm assuming Hal was killed and the place was torched as a coverup) in the last three decades or so. Valentine's (Valentino's) Studio on Melrose across the street from the Pacific Design Center was the scene of the gruesome, bludgeon murder of it owner back in the '70s---all I remember is that the guy looked like Jerry Cologna.

Luke: About 100 pornographers have been murdered since 1970.

John Bone: "I did business with Hal Guthu years ago but Hal wasn't really in our business. Hal was ensconced in the bondage and R-rated worlds... I used to run in and see him when I was doing bondage ten years ago...and on the R-rated movies I did. He's kept himself to himself.

"I wonder if his parrot went up with him? That parrot was his life. That parrot was there all the time."

Luke: "Do you think they whacked him?"

John: "They think he was whacked, don't they? That's what they were saying on TV yesterday... If somebody whacked him, it would have to be somebody from the bondage or R-rated worlds... When something like this happens, my mind automatically goes to some idiot's boyfriend. It always seems that when it comes down to violence or shouting or carrying on, it's always the estranged boyfriend of some f---ing druggie whore that didn't tell her boyfriend that she was doing stuff. Then the boyfriend gets bent out of shape and starts blaming anybody. That's what agents are there for, isn't it?"

Veteran photographer H. David Story, who started with Milton Luros in the 1960s, writes: Luke: I know you never hear from me, but in this case I feel I would like to speak of Hal. I knew Hal Guthu for 35 years.

He was the only agent worth dealing with when I started in 1965. He was honest and never tried to beat anyone out of anything. When I met him, there were no agencies dealing with hardcore because then, it was very illegal. He just never got into it. He dealt mostly with the T&A and bondage genre. He had been in his present location for 25 years and it was rumored that he owned almost the entire block.

As the stores would go out of business, he'd snap them up. He owned around twelve apartment and condo buildings plus numerous other properties. Hal was a very careful and almost paranoid person. He got into the agency sometimes as early as 6:00 A.M. and could be found there at midnight. He never opened the front door after hours unless he knew who was there. He could see out but people could not see in. He had a buzzer that opened the door. He kept a huge safe in the back room. Every night, he locked his cameras and anything valuable in the safe. He never carried more that fifty bucks in cash in his life.

Whoever killed him must not have known him that well. But he knew who the person was or he would not have let him or her in, especially on Sunday. I agree with John when he says it is probably one of the suitcase pimps that seem to follow the girls like gnats on s---. They'll get whoever did it eventually, but that won't bring a good man back. Please let us know if you hear any more on this. And please - please, don't treat this one as a joke or point of ridicule. Thanks.

LT writes: Luke, you made the news tonight...sort of. In their "reporting" on Hal Guthue, KTTV Fox 11 said "...while a website dedicated to porn gossip lamented his death..." and they showed a computer screen with your website on it. No mention of your name though Luke. You ought to sue.

Email: Today we were near CHN and saw the devastation, Needless to say we were shocked when we went to your site, your report confirmed the worse. Although the authorities aren't saying it was Hal, we suspect it was, as do you. We are very distraught having known him and Max(his beautiful parrot). We are trying to deal with our grief as best as we can, and would like to connect with others who are feeling the same way and mourning the loss of a really nice person. Words can't describe how it feels. We have never known someone who was murdered! There are some really horrible people in this world and sometimes there paths cross with the good people and when that happens the innocent sometimes die.

We have our own theories of WhoDunit(as probably most people). If the rumors are true about his owning almost the whole block, perhaps the motive is a "land grab" perhaps by "greedy developers", perhaps connected to the mob. Has anyone asked the question of what happens to the land now? Most likely goes into probate and gets auctioned off to the highest bidder! There all also rumors afoot that the city itself is involved in some shady goings on including drugs and murder! We have some other ideas and would like to share them but only with you. Luke do you believe in Psychics and the Paranormal?, If so, you know what happens when a murder is commited. We have met a very gifted man who is capable of communicating with disembodied spirits. He has been featured on Foxs' "Sightings" and has investigated Alcatraz. Last we knew of him he lives less than 3 miles from CHN. We used to have his number but have no way to connect with him. We believe he can be instrumental in helping the authorities solve the case before it becomes just another statistic and Unsolved Hollywood Murder. We pray whoever is responsible is brought to justice as swiftly as possible so that the soul of the departed may be at rest.

From GeneRoss.com: Reader: "It's still a question of whether it was Hal's dead body. If you find a dead parrot there, it's probably Hal. He and his parrot Max were inseparable. He was convinced that this was a very well behaved bird but several other people who visited the studio had other opinions on that subject. Guthu was a reclusive guy. He supposedly started his studio in the late 50's. He was a photographer of nudes but never did hardcore. He was very much against that, although he did do some bondage at one point with Harold Lime. The two had a falling out. At which point Guthu became even more reclusive than he previously had been. Even people who described themselves as good friends didn't know where he lived or anything about his personal life. Apparently he had at least two marriages, the second of which was apparently to a blond woman whom he allegedly with on the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate where he took care of a number of chimps. Someone saw a photograph putting him at the estate, but Guthu later denied that he had ever done that."

Gossip

Houston missed her flight to New York to appear on the Howard Stern radio show Monday. Her buddy Kevin Blatt (YNOT marketing director) flew to NY and back Sunday.

Any porn chicks who like the rock group Korn and like to give head, email Blatt at kb@ynotnetwork.com.

Amber Lynn appears to have an ad in the escort section of the LA Weekly this week. CEG writes: "Stop being so f---ing willfully ignorant. Amber Lynn does not have an escort ad in the Weekly. Everyone knows that various escort agencies pilfer pics of porn stars to put in their ads. There's also an ad with Tara Patrick in the same issue, but you can bet she doesn't even know about it."

The rumor about Vanessa Chase getting married and moving to Brazil is not true. She still lives in LA area.

Pimp writes: Just thought I'd write you a funny little thing I just heard on Howard Stern. You don't like him right? That's ok I can't stand ponderous psycho babblers like Dennis Prager : ) I just think Stern is brilliant and it goes way beyond the fart and dick jokes, those don't make me laugh out loud. It's the baring of and his ability to describe an inner torment that he turns on anybody and everybody who shows a weakness. He's a master monologist and with at least some irony turns a very cruel mirror on all of us including himself. He's also been great for the porn biz. You wanna know who gave Paul Fishbein the idea to give Stern the lifetime achievement award or whatever that was called? Me. I can't prove it but at least 6 months beforehand I had written a long email to one of the AVN editors whose email i found on their website. I had heard who they gave it to the last year, i forget now who it was, and just thought Stern was worthier. Of course I never got an email reply from AVN.

I've heard this rumor quite a few times and Roseanne Barr repeated it on the Stern show a couple weeks ago. She said she had been talking to a porn star who knew Howard well, frequent guest, who told her that she knew the reason Howard left his Long Island yenta was that he was gay. He's not it's absurd but the part about the porn star spreading the rumor i am sure is not. Roseanne would not give up the porn star's identity. My guess is Jenna, I think I read maybe in one of your stories that Jenna had badmouthed him somewhere. Hope not I dig Jenna and while I think Jenna would have become the queen of porn without Stern's help her crossover to mainstream things like E! Television and other projects would never have happened. Houston? A total Stern creation, she was smart she played her first appearance right and now is practically a household name. Maybe it isn't Jenna, what about Kendra?

s--- the only reason I wrote you was to tell you one funny thing on Stern today porn related and i got off on a tangent. Here it is. Howard was on the phone on-air today with David Spade who he had spent time with out in L.A. during Grammy Week something about Spade being mad at him over some slight. They patched things up and before Spade's appearance was over Howard gave him the obligatory plugs ...... so Howard announces to make sure to catch Spade's sitcom 'Just Shoot On Me'........... it wasn't a big laugh on radio or with Spade who is too cool to laugh at anything so base but I just thought it was one of the great porn titles I've ever heard......for all I know there's probably already a porn flick or series with that title. Is there? Well porners if there isn't have at it first one gets it. Great Bukkake title.

Ford's Appearance On Talk 640 Too Jewish?

Marc Putative, a commentator on the radio scene, writes on RadioDigest.com about my recent appearance on Marsha Lederman's show on the Toronto radio station Talk 640:

The 6 o’clock Lox Report: Talk radio across North America got plenty of mileage in the aftermath of Fox's "Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire?" special. But it's likely that just one discussion on the subject led the host to blurt out that it was "way too Jewish" for this continent's airwaves.

As a guest of Marsha Lederman's afternoon drive grind on Talk 640 (CFYI-AM), on-line pornography business journalist Luke F-rd talked about his desire to have appeared on the scandal-making TV special.

Ford, a single fella from Los Angeles who converted to Judaism after leaving his Seven-Day Adventist background behind in Australia, was a guest on Lederman's show in December when he purportedly tried out for the bride-baiting role that ultimately went to charlatan standup comedian Rick Rockwell. While the moralistic author of "A History of X" didn't make the cut, he was invited back on Talk 640 to discuss why he was willing to assume the role of the moneybagged wannabe groom.

A caller named "Fischel Teitenbaum" asked (as transcribed by Ford on Feb. 20): "I'm curious how you reconcile your Judaism, which you make much of on your Web site, with the mechanics of picking out a bride on national television. First, how would you know that any of these women were Jewish? Second, could you really marry a woman without speaking to her in advance? Suppose she turned out to be a mamzer?"

"A mamzer in Jewish Law is a bastard and can never enter the people of Israel," Ford explained to the scant Talk 640 audience. "I'd be condemned to marriage to someone who could never become Jewish."

"You should do this on Israeli television," interjected Lederman, who often covers such topics. "This is way too Jewish for North America."

"North America loves Jews," asserted Ford. "This country has been golden to us. Anyone living in an organized religion and in the world is going to be constantly facing temptation and challenges ... and in the final analysis, this Fox TV wedding is just a secular wedding, it is not a religious Jewish wedding and therefore doesn't count."

As a guest, Ford came off as something of a wet noodle, hardly the sardonic stud he presents himself as on his Web site (l-keford.com, which I have read daily since its inception almost two years ago).

Fischel writes Luke: Fischel thanks you for his 15 minutes of fame! By the way, the law is not that a momzer cannot enter the jewish people, but that you as a jew may not enter a momzer.

Craig 'Captain Stillman' Vasiloff Boycotts PST

XXXGen.com's Craig Vasiloff now boycotts PornStarTrading.com. Ostensibly it is because Diablo, an operator, posted Brandy Alexandre's real name and address in the channel.

Mastrick> Of course it doesn't say anything about Craig having problems getting along with people here.

Mike South responds: "Tell Captain Stillman [John Larroquette's character in Stripes] to go f--- himself."

Vasiloff: "As far as a comment to Mike South' 'go f--- himself' ... Bend over you backwoods, trailer-park, butt sniffer cause I'm gonna kick your ass."

Craig has been working like a madman getting out the next issue of XXXGen magazine and is a tad punch drunk. But still loveable in his own way.

PornGossip.com says: Sources say the real reason Craig is boycotting PsT is because people were starting to realize how he is two faced and was tired of hearing about his trail of not paying people on time or at all. His s--- talking behind peoples backs was getting out of control. Could the man who pays Luke F-rds legal bills (when he actually pays the bills) really care about a real name being posted? Sounds a little fishy to this reporter.

Sergio writes: Great. I always said that those suckers at PST, including Diablo, were a buncha morons. Talking about REAL pornstars, I was talking to Alexandra Quinn (www.alexq.com) thru the ICQ. She's a REALLY sweet girl. I wish her a comeback.

Brandy Alexandre writes: I find it necessary to point out the habit of PsT chatters piling on to people who say or do anything in my defense or against PsT. Luke's wording of the reason for Craig Vasiloff's sudden boycott of PsT as having something to do with me predictably brought sudden expressions dislike for the man heretofore never even hinted at. However, it was not so much a Zorro-esque gesture of laying roses at my feet as it was Craig's expression of his overal disgust at the disrespect for the privacy and safety they have for the women in, or who have been in, the industry. You will note that I have had harsh things to say about Craig's manners. So why would he cut himself off from access to all of his employees for my benefit. ;) The truth is, I am not the only woman who has had their personal information passed around by Diablo with a bug up his ass. By attending PsT, people show support for his misogynistic behavior and attitude, and obviously agree that his form of expression is appropriate. Attacking Craig, as Mike South has, for his decision to leave confirms this. So, by default, he, and every other guy there, can only be assumed to be just like him [Diablo]. Craig was just one of the few people man enough to tell them where to stuff it. I only wish that as a magazine editor he could have come up with a slightly more original, interesting, and painful place in which "it" should be stuffed.

PornGossip.com says: "The buzz around town is that xxxGen.com and Craig vasiloff are out of cash!! Sales of his magazine are really bad according to "sources" in his companies. legal bills are mounting up from law suits against l-keford.com. The suit by XXX will bankrupt his company if he does not settle, but there is no cash and he can not pay the 6 figure settlement. Others who have worked there are now telling stories about the shortage of cash at xxxGen.com and related companies. Now that Vasiloff has been unmasked and has screwed several leading adult web companies, content for his web operations is at a stand still. Vasiloff has no cash to buy any content from any content providers. He can't even pay his graphics people. More to come soon. Vasiloff is in trouble."

Diablo from PST writes: Luke, PsT is trying to stay neutral on all these fights that are going on between different industry people. But we at #!!!!!!pornstar-trading don't want to be totally left out of fighting so we are declaring war against Christmas Island. Thats right all you Christmas Islanders, don't even bother trying to come to PsT, your stay wont last long. Be aware PsT is not afraid of your narrow fringing reefs, or your supply of phosphate. Christmas Island sucks, at least build some damn statues like every other holiday island has. We will continue to attack Christmas Island untill they stay out of the news. And please let me it clear we are not fighting Australia as a whole. In fact we love Australia. So if you wish to join in the fight with Christmas Island or just wanna chat with some industry insiders and pornstars stop by #!!!!!!pornstar-trading on Beyond IRC. For more info check out www.pornstartrading.com

Kendra Jade phoned from the East Coast. She was hanging out with her sister Kelly. Kendra got some new tattoos and Kelly got some new piercings. Kendra now has "I love Luke F-rd" across her bottom. And "Give Me Torah Or Give Me Death" on her lower stomach.

Mike South writes: You might want to warn anyone about doing business with Zarkir or Nick formerly of Tristate Distribution in Maspeth, NY. They bounced several checks then went out of business on us. They didnt owe a lot but in this business even a little (around 500 bucks in this case) hurts. Chances are they will re-open under another name...this seems to be the norm for this biz. When they do ...I would suggest that nobody give them credit.

Who's More Blind In Love?

I heard talkshow host Dennis Prager ask: Who's more blind in love? Prager says men are more blind falling in love and women are more blind about staying in love. Men fall in love with their eyes, a superficial way. But women often stay with men who abuse them. Email Luke

Michel writes from France: I have two answers for your questions about love and blindness : - Love is not about heart, it's about nerves. - Love don't give wings. It only give ONE wing. That's why it's so hard to fly.

Meni: Is it a crime to love all women?

Ann Marlowe's recent opinion piece at Salon.com suggested that women choose to earn less than men because they have eroticized second-class financial status.

Fred Flintstone writes: Your synopsis of Ann Marlow's opinion piece is interesting--apparently she believes that women eroticize lower financial status.

A friend of mine made a similar remark. He discussed how all of the women in his life treat him like s--- (e.g. his wife) except for people whose salary he pays, i.e. a) his kids' nanny; and b) his trainer (at his gym). The trainer has said that she really likes him (but has stopped short of making a pass at him). Of course he strongly suspects that any appearance of affection is somewhat feigned and related to the fact that he pays her salary. However, he and I also suspect that women are "programmed" by 2 billion years of evolution to be attracted to a provider. (His wife works, and the "provider" aspect of their relationship is attenuated or nonexistent.)

Marlow's views are consistent with this theory. Women are programmed to seek a provider. It is part of their mating instincts, and determines what they eroticize.

It may also be basic instincts that cause high school girls to choose not to be competitive in the classroom.

I also believe that 2 billion years of evolution tend to make women more attentive to their appearance, and more vain. This also drives many women to be somewhat exhibitionist. Again, it is part of their mating instincts. (Those women in the porn/stripping business who are in it for the purpose of getting attention or for exhibitionism merely exhibit a somehwat exaggerated instinct that exists in most human females.)

I believe many men eroticize their provider roles, although subconsciously. I don't think men actively look for someone less financially endowed than themselves, but they are made a bit insecure by women who out-earns them. Again, I suspect that it's that 2 billion years of evolution thing.

By the way--Prager is slightly incorrect about his theory that men are more "blind" when falling in love than women. Each tend to be shallow about mate selection in their own way--men concentrating on appearance; women concentrating on equally superficial things.

Lynne writes: I read a survey in Mademoiselle a few years back that said 65% of men care more about how a woman looks than how she feels about them, which sounds to me like a recipe for disaster. Guys are always saying, "She looks sexy, but she doesn't like having sex with me." No duh! Marry a woman who likes having sex with you, even if she has a physical imperfection or two, and you'll have a lot better sex life.

From my personal experience, I agree that I am hesitant to recognize the signs of men pulling away from me and that I stay desirous of a romantic relationship long past when it's good for me. Women turn a blind eye to hubby's cheating, for example. However, women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, only one of which is that they're still in love with the guy. More commonly, it's financial difficulties or low self-esteem that holds them back.

Women do not eroticize lower paid work. That went out with the "Cinderella Complex" back in the 1970's. Negroes do not romanticize lower paid work. Indonesian teenagers do not romanticize making sneakers with American sports heroes' names on 'em. Only upper middle class women even speculate on such things.

I was shocked to see the picture of you with the cock in your face. Even though I knew it wasn't real, and even though I love sucking cock myself, I recoiled at the picture. You seem to so abhor actual physical contact that, since I identify with you, I guess I reacted like you usually do with the touching thing. Other than that, I'd like to see "Andy" in a similar pose, being what he wonders why I admire you so. Speaking of Andy:

Andy writes: It's funny to hear your fellow pornographers say that you're "brave" and "courageous". YOU ARE A BULLY! Posting doggy pics of XXX to intentionally humiliate her tells me you are CRUEL, SADISTIC, INTIMIDATING...NOT BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS!

Lynne: I didn't realize anyone said that kind of stuff about you but me, Luke. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe you deliberately intended to humiliate Ms. Lake, I just don't think you have a handle on what upsets people and used very poor judgement. And I'm sure you thought long and hard about the language accompanying the pictures. Notice Andy says that you posted "doggy pictures of XXX." You posted, if I remember, something that potentially could be, was identified to you as, resembled... I don't remember seeing anything I could identify as pictures of Ms. Lake in congress with an animal.

Andy: I'm very curious that you are NOT posting any of your meetings with your lawyers...the BIGGEST Luke F-rd STORY EVER and NOT A WORD! Where can we turn for the REAL Luke F-rd story???Apparently, you aren't so brain-damaged that you aren't able to keep your mouth shut when it counts, huh, wiseass? I'M SURE THE GENIUSES AT FANTASTICONLINE HAVE TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR STUPID BOY MOUTH SHUT AND PUT A ZIPPER ON IT! They know what an IRRESPONSIBLE, LOOSE CANNON YOU ARE and what a huge chance they're taking having anything at all to do with the likes of your sorry, unprofessional ass.

Lynne: I'm very proud of you. From having read your bio, I can see what a long way you've come. You are obviously in cahoots with Gene Ross once again if he's not posting anything about your lawsuits, either. You've learned lots about when to speak and when to shut up. In fact, you are teaching me! I, too, am dying with curiosity to read everything available on the lawsuit when it's possible, as it hinges on intent and semantics and I like semantics. I'm not allowed to conspire against you, though, so I guess I'll just have to wait until you're ready to share. It reminds me of the Dead Kennedys album -- stupidly obscene because Jello Biafra, like you, is not a pornographer and not experienced at drawing lines.

Andy: You BELIEVE you are an expert because you wrote a silly book, but you're no expert at all....YOU ARE A PHONEY!!!! (Any close reading of that book shows you are deranged.)

Lynne: I still haven't read the book, but I get the gist of what you do from the website. I don't know if you are an "expert" at anything, but you're better than nothing. Definitely deranged, especially when it comes to sex and the porno business, but who isn't?

Andy: You have NEVER broken a genuine news story!!!

Lynne: There are no genuine news stories in porn, not since we caught Traci with a phoney drivers' license. There is no genuine. Adult video news (the concept, not the magazine) is an oxymoron. It's all illusion. We do it with sleaze and mirrors.

Andy: All you have ever successfully done is GET MAINSTREAM MEDIA ATTENTION FOR THE SEX INDUSTRY, AND THEY KNOW IT, AND THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A USE FOR Luke F-rd AT ALL! YOU ARE A SELF-DELUDED FOOL!!!!

Lynne: All you have ever done is something that's been near impossible to achieve in any sort of positive fashion for ten years. Kudos to you, Luke. We need to market to that same mainstream if we are to increase our financial base. Those perverts who fear that this will water down their favorite raunch are as unhappy as the OG porn owners who feared mainstream attention might catch them with dirty books.

Andy: If someone says the magic words Luke F-rd you're putty in their hands, you stupid space cadet! THE ONLY KIND OF EXPERT Luke F-rd IS IS A TRIVIA EXPERT and I hope XXX's lawyers make a convincing case of that...it will be very EASY to do. JUST WAIT AND SEE IF THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WILL EVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN NOW THAT YOU WENT OVER THE EDGE INTO BESTIALITY!!!! THAT will hurt, won't it buddy? YOU'RE PERMANENTLY FINISHED, YOU ARE GOING DOWN FOR GOOD, AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS REAL ENTERTAINMENT!!! And please say hello to your dumbass lawyers at Fantasticonline for me, won't you?

Lynne: Oh, please be putty in my hands! I'll make l-keford my mantra! And wouldn't it be fun to have a porn trivia contest, like jeopardy only porno? A nice cheap game show -- whoops! I'm not allowed to make porno any more. I know you hate to be touched, but if the mainstream media stops touching you and you miss it, just remember you'll be putty in my hands and won't have time for any gratuitous touching. I did see that photo of you going down on that guy and I hope you are permanently finished with THAT sort of activity, but you are my favorite entertainment, Little Buddy.

Who Wants To Be A Porno Millionaire?

AJB writes on RAME: I'm not allowed to watch porno right now. Forced to have "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?". It's about time there were some good porn related questions.

For $69 (cost of a quickie HIV test): Which pornstar was a model for "Ivory Snow"?

A: Kelly O'Dell, B: Marilyn Rose, C: Marilyn Chambers, D: Marilyn Monroe

For $200 (cost of an ambitious crack ho in Las Vegas): Which famous musician banged Savannah into a higher IQ?

A: Rob Halpert, B: Greg Allman, C: Bon Jovi, D: Eric Clapton

For $423.23 (cost of 5 minutes worth of hearing Voyager's Shonna Lynn impression): Which porn starlet played the town slut in "Tommyknockers"?

A: Wendy Whoppers, B: Barbie, C: Barbara Doll, D: Traci Lords

For $999 (cost of a 1000 gallon stainless steel bucket): Which porn stud has spurted the largest total volume of cum during the course of his career according to The Institute for Mysterious Anal Glop Studies?

A: John C. Holmes, B: Max Hardcore, C: Peter North, D: Randy West

For $2001: (cost of a HAL simulator): Kaitlyn Ashley starred in a XXX flick which was a parody of a film by which critically acclaimed director?

A: Arthur C. Clarke, B: Stanley Kubrick, C: Ed Wood, D: John Wu

For $5,000 (cost of Riley's private sale dub copies of the unreleased "Rough Sex 3"): What is the last name of the producer who helped land roles for Ashlyn Gere in the tv shows "X-Files", "Space: Above and Beyond" and "Millenium"?

A: Wong, B: Dick, C: Smithee, D: Borsky

For $10,000 (cost of the make-up and soft focus lenses in an Andrew Blake film): Which pornstar has NOT appeared on the Donahue Show?

A: Seka, B: Jeanna Fine, C: Bianca Trump, D: Jerry Butler

For $25,000 (cost of first day lawyering charges in an under-age porn scandal court case): Which pornstar was NOT under-aged when her sexual career began?

A: Alexandria Quinn, B: Alex Dane, C: Norma Jean, D: Nora Kuzma For $55,555 (cost of average yearly pornstar coke habit):

Which pornstar's first ever porn scene was with Ron Jeremy? A: Shonna Lynn, B: Shauna Grant, C: Jenna Jameson, D: Jeanna Fine For $100,000 (cost of a typical exhumation / forensic autopsy + legal fees):

Which dead porn star never did anal? {nuthin like a dead & anal question!} A: Arcadia Lake, B: Linda Wong, C: Leilani, D: Lisa DeLeeuw

If anyone can cum up with $250,000 & $500,000 & $1mil questions, I'd appreciate it... gotta go sleep now.

Lisa Marie Presley To Wed Rocker With Past Porn Love

Elvis Presley's daughter Lisa Marie, 31, plans to wed rocker John Oszajca, 25, who once had an affair with a porn actress. But who?

His past came out after Lisa's mom hired a private detective.

Raised in Hawaii, John moved at age 18 to Seattle. He became immersed in its drug culture. Then he met a woman and moved with her to Long Beach. After the relationship broke up, he came to Los Angeles where he moved in with a porn girl (within the last five years).

Lisa Marie is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. She's been married twice, including once to Michael Jackson. She has two kids from her other marriage.

XXX: Oszajca's porn lady was Alicia Love. It didn't last very long, something like 3 weeks but he wrote a song about her, "Beyond the Valley of Dolls."

The X Show

Email: Hi Luke, Mike Miller from FX's "The X Show" here. Just wanted to send you a note about the latest installment of "The XXX Show", our adult movie review segment. The XXX Show is a bi-monthly segment in which John Weber, one of our four hosts, and Ashley Degenford, and X Show regular and Perfect 10's All Natural Model of the Year, review the latest releases from the adult world. If you are unfamiliar with our show, we are a one hour, nightly newsmagazine / talk show for men. We are on Monday - Friday from 11pm to Midnight. On Monday night (2/28 @ 11pm on FX Cable Network) we will be reviewing Michael Raven's "Primal Urge" (Sin City), Antonio Passolini's "Raw" (VCA), and Fred Lincoln's "Shadowland" (Wicked). We hope that you will all tune in. Also, adult star Raylene won our weekly spokesmodel competition on Friday and will appear on Monday's show. If anybody would like to submit films for review, please contact me at mmiller@metawire.com.

Mike Miller Producer "The X Show"

PS: Please remember, this is a serious review segment couched in humor. We do not temper the reviews based on our relationships with a film's stars, director, or producing and/or distribution company.

FX is FOX television network's cable channel. Up until this year, we were mainly known for syndicated re-runs of shows like "NYPD Blue", "The X Files", "Married with Children", and "MASH". But in the past year the network has moved to original programming. The first original, "Penn & Teller's Sin City Spectacular" was a ratings hit. "The X Show" was just renewed for another full year. Other originals will include "Son of the Beach", a satire of "Baywatch", from Howard Stern Productions, and "The New Movie Show with Chris Gore". Chris Gore is the editor and head writer for "Film Threat" magazine. FX also has The Toughman Competition, two Major League Baseball games a week and NCAA Football & Basketball. At this date, FX reaches 50 million homes via cable in all 50 states, plus another 7 million via DirectTV Satellite. Those numbers grow by the month.

James DiGiorgio Vs LGI's Bo

From (PornGossip.com): Right jim, why dont you leave other people out of your childish bull s---. You dont scare me with your yogi bear s---, go watch some more cartoons and get a f---ing life.You could not lick the sweat off my balls .You dont have s---, you live in a flee bag dump, so dirty it stinks like you,try cleaning that s--- hole,you could also use a bath. I spend more for dinner in a night then you make a month. You will be a peice of s--- vagabond the rest of your pathetic life. You are not even a pimple on this industries ass. What have you ever done for this business. You are nothing now and never will be, just a scum sucking bottom feeder just eating other peoples s---.

jimmyd is at it again all f---ed up, cant get a hard on sucking lukes dick so he can trash some chick . Whats the fat f--- going to due beat her up because she told the truth. How come none of the people you mentioned dont give you any work?.Cause you are a cry baby f--- who thinks he as saved every company he ever worked for. When he worked at sin city Thats all he said, with out me" this place will go out of f---ing business the owner dont know s---", yea stoner there still there and doing fine you sissy f---, talkin all your small time school boy tough talk grow up. Just what the world needs another failed comic, oh my mistake you still are a joke go f--- your self, word has it if sales dont pick up on the mercy deal you got now your going to be out on your ass there soon!! major distributors are droping your s--- like the plague, word has it your name will not be on any more box covers because people wont buy the s---. That s--- he did for bo sucks, i think bo was f---ed up. jimmy realy f---ed him good , But i tried to tell him . jimmy smoke some dope and leave people alone because you might get smashed Because thats what happens to piss ants like you. (PornGossip.com)

Jim Gunn is working out a deal with Craig Vasiloff of xxxgen.com fame [and Luke F-rd's benefactor], to move his site, JimGunn.com to Vasiloff's control. This site has been hosted on LGI Distributors' servers. The site is ready to move but Vasiloff doesn't have anything up yet. Unfortunately, Jim has had a break in and all his video, camera, and editing equipment have been stolen! All this according to police reports filed over the weekend. It is suspected that many Pleasure Productions and other companies' chromes and masters are also missing.....Hmmm...maybe on their way to our Canuk friends? ..... ;) "Crackheads" are suspected. Tens of thousands of dollars in equipment are missing. When it rains, it seems to pour...on Jim Gunn.

Craig Vasiloff today takes over Jim Gunn's "dead" web site. Good luck Jim, that site only pulls in around 50 hits a day. Word from Vasiloff is that Jim Gunn was hired to replace Mike South. Mike South has quit Vasiloff for nonpayment and not living up to the terms of their deal. Word has it that PornGossip.com will hire Mike soon.! (PornGossip.com)

John Bone Gossip

Mike South writes: John T Bone is now working in front of camera Im told. Maybe he needs money cuz word is he has filed for bankruptcy. several of his creditors have been notified.

Luke: I talked to John and he said he is considering a return to work in front of the cameras. He's been working out and has lost 15 pounds. John, who's kept a low profile for the past year, denies that he is going bankrupt.

John: "I swore that if I ever lost enough weight to see my penis, I would return to the silver screen. I'm working out every day. That's why I'm out of breath right now. I've lost 15 pounds in the last two weeks."

Luke: "Is Jasmin St. Claire working you out?"

John: "No, she worked me over for three-and-a-half years and it got to be enough."

Luke: "Are you going bankrupt?"

John: "Get out of here. You're listening to too many rumors...but that is your job."

Luke: "I don't hear much about you these days."

John: "I'm low profile. I had to take control of more of my life and I stopped reading all the bulls--- and participating in all the bulls--- and just knuckled down to work. I think the general public is sick of our backbiting and just wants to buy our movies."

Another LAPD Raid On Dr Suzy Block

DrSuzyBlock.com writes: Saturday night, February 26th, at about 9-9:30 PM (PT), an unprecedented LAPD SWAT team raid took place against the broadcast studios and art galleries of HBO star, best-selling author, public access icon, Internet broadcaster and sex educator Dr. Susan Block.

Heavily armed elite SWAT team officers wearing bulletproof vests and carrying high-powered rifles forcibly entered the building, without warrants, about 45 minutes before the scheduled live broadcast of “The Dr. Susan Block Show” on www.radiosuzy1.com. Helicopter gunships with nightvision technology buzzed overhead. Eyewitnesses said that SWAT Team members with what looked like M16 rifles surrounded the building and cordoned off the area to pedestrians. The operation was coordinated by Metro Vice Squad and Central Divisions of the LAPD, including Watch Commander Valez, Sergeant Sanchez, Central Vice Unit Sergeant Kilgore, Detective Katherine Robi, and Officers Morales, Moreno and Malik.

Film clips from security cameras show LAPD with guns on Max Lobkowicz, executive producer of the show, Kim Mendoza, art curator, and several other staff members. When Dr. Block stepped out of her dressing room she was held at gunpoint by LAPD uniformed officers. She was detained and questioned, separate from her staff, for about twenty minutes, while the producers, camera people and some of the guests were frisked. Then, the staff and guests were permitted back upstairs (some 50 guests crossed police lines to get in), and the show was allowed to go on. But most of the officers stayed, watching, searching and intimidating guests and staff, for some two and a half hours.

What was this all about? LAPD officials don’t really know. Here was their story when they arrived. “Four armed Hispanic men who had robbed and kidnapped someone were seen forcing their way into the building by a passerby.” The SWAT team was there to search for the gunmen. They determined that there were no gunmen or hostages in the building within a few minutes. Yet they spent two and a half hours inside Dr. Block’s studios and galleries, although official police records state they were here for just 10 minutes. Do we have a Ramparts in every neighborhood?

They interrogated Dr. Block, her staff and guests about the nature of the show, which half of the officers said they watched. Several officers blocked off access to critical Internet broadcast servers and other equipment. Vice specialists searched through film archives. Other officers looked through the studio refrigerator, searched the bathrooms, combed through the books in the library, monitored Chief Engineer Theron Marks’ mixing of the live show, and checked out the erotic art in the galleries. Finally, they confiscated a copy of Dr. Block’s HBO show “Radio Sex TV” (executive produced by HBO Senior Vice President in charge of Documentary and Late Night Programming Sheila Nevins, and produced by Dave Bell, who, coincidentally, all produces the reality TV series “LAPD”).

What caused this bizarre but fully armed police raid on a downtown LA art gallery and broadcast studio? Was it the smell of sex? The erotic art? The controversial, scantily clad cable host? Her producer/husband’s radical past? The Jonathan Taylor Spielberg connection? ? The interracial composition of the staff? The building’s proximity to the new all-powerful Staples Center?

This is the second, and far more physically threatening LAPD assault upon “The Dr. Susan Block Show.” The first, which took place in January, 1998, also occurred under mysterious circumstances and resulted in no charges being pressed. Under the direction of Mayor Dick Riordan and Chief Bernard C. Parks, this kind of anti-culture, anti-art, anti-sex police action becomes a major stumbling block for redevelopment and economic growth of downtown Los Angeles, not to mention an assault on our basic freedoms as individuals. We urge the Mayor’s Office, the Chief’s Office, the LA City Council and its members to investigate this government invasion and attack upon the dignity and freedom of all Angelenos. This city is not just made up of major film companies like Disney, but of emerging studios with diverse visions.

We ask our subscribers, viewers, listeners, clients, friends and fans to call the mayor’s office at 213.847.2489. We ask our subscribers to send this message on to friends, media contacts, art galleries, political representatives and other appropriate parties. For demonstration information, call the offices of BlockFilms at 213.749.1330. Ask for Max Lobkowicz or Kim Mendoza. Dr. Susan Block's Journal will carry the full story with photos in about a week. In the meantime, we encourage all artists, journalists and others to help us put a stop to this kind of police intimidation.

What's Up With Jasmin?

Alex writes: Hey, Luke, I have a question for you. I was at the Penninsula Bar in Beverly Hills last week and saw one of my all time favorite porn stars, Jasmin St. Claire. I wanted to ask her to sign my napkin or something, but she was sitting with another couple. As it turned out I heard, (thanks to the cool bartender for tipping me off) she was with some guy and a lady who was with some production company called Fleshtone. Now I know that they recently put out that "GangBang 2000" with Sabrina Johnson. So can you tell me, man, is the rumor true that she's signing up with Fleshtone Productions for some sort of challenge? I mean, don't get me wrong - I LOVE HER - and she MADE the record for gang bangs. Did that "GangBang 2000" officially take over her record?! If so, I hope she did sign up just so she can show that Belguim bitch who is the true champ!

Luke: Jasmin says she's retired from porn.

Bo Stealing Zoe's Name?

XXX writes: hey luke...zoe was in PsT this afternoon and complained that Bo (John Kenney of LGI Distributors) had put up a site with her name without her permission. The only authorized Zoe site is http;//www.xxxzoe.com She wants to know where he got permission to use the content that's there....she says she doesnt believe he has a mdoel release with her signature. She also says she is emailing Bo and asking why he is stealing her name without her permission. Adam, Jimgunn and quite a few others were there when she said this in open forum. I guess Bo doesn't even respect his friendship with David Sturman enought to refrain from stealing the name of one of David's hottest contract girls.

From Bo's site www.porngossip.com: "Let's talk porn web law 101, boys and girls. Zoë isn't trademarked. wwwZoë.com was purchased legally from Network Solutions. Zoë was informed of the site, and asked if she would come on board....as for the material.....LGI Distributors has rights, to the material used, acquired from John T-Bone. Joseph from Sunshine Films has those same rights. Right now, Zoë, is negotiating through her agent for a flat fee in return for exclusive content for the site. Maybe XXX has different, less altruistic reasons for saying what (s)he's saying about the situation. These comments are meant to tug at the industry's heart strings, but not based in reality."

Greg Zeboray writes: "While I am not defending Bo's reported actions (in regards to Zoë), there is probably nothing that can be done. Unless her professional name is a registered trademark, I don't know what - if any - legal recourse she has. Keep in mind that I am not an attorney and may be wrong, but I don't think I am in this case. Besides, I know Zoë well, and can't imagine she is in the position of incurring the sort of legal fees required to pursue Bo and LGI. Regarding the content on his site, I'm sure he probably bought it from those who have her model releases - possibly even Sin City! Content is available for sale everywhere. Read the model releases the talent sign: unfortunately their rights are signed away at the time they sign it."

Mike South writes: Hey luke allow me to enlighten Greg Zeboray and others about trademarks. A trademark is based on first commercial use. You do NOT have to register a trademark to be afforded trademark protection. Trademark registration merely facilitates collecting damages for fraudulent use. names as such are difficult to trademark but they are afforded trademark protection, particularly within an industry. Case in point you have Delta an airline and delta a company that manufactures faucets. The two products are not likely to be confused, and while both use a similar logo (The Delta greek letter) they are not the same and they do not cause confusion. Now Zoe acn verifiably prove that she used that name commercially first and that it has become identifiable with her she owns a trademark on that name in so far as the adult entertainment domain is concerned and potentially even the entire entertainment world. She owns this trademark by virtue of use. If you doubt this reference the case where Farrah Fawcett sued ex porn chick Rhonda Joe Petty for calling herself a "Farrah Fawcett look alike."

April Penthouse

PRWire: The Real Story of "Boogie Nights" - How John Curtis Holmes Destroyed His Life. John Curtis Holmes is the first pop icon of pornography. He also had a wicked cocaine habit that made him a prime suspect in a shocking multiple murder. The film "Boogie Nights" was loosely based on the life of Holmes, who acted under the name "Johnny Wadd." A book that tells the tale of Holmes sordid self-destruction is excerpted in the April issue of Penthouse. "Pop Shots: The Uncensored Oral History of the Adult Film Industry" by Legs McNeil, sheds new light on the grisly murders of four buddies Holmes was once accused of committing. It also interviews several female porn stars, who tell how good he really was in bed. Annette Haven says that having sex with Holmes was "like doing it with a big, soft loofah sponge."

Porn Stars On Inside Edition

Aaron writes on RAME: Heidi Ho, Suzi Suzuki and Bridgette Kerkove were on Inside Edition's Weekend. It was a 'How relationships are maintained in porn' piece. It started with Bridgette Kerkove and boyfriend w/pic from I believe this years CES. She mentions the money and how there is a strict testing system for STDs. Then to Suzi Suzuki, which first shows her looking rather plain in an old pic with her husband (she wears black rim thick glasses with less than should length hair) then cut to the way she looks now with butt long hair. (they picture Suzi in a photo shoot) I've always liked Suzuki since that first scene in MDD#41 then the lights out scene with Jake Steed in Debutante Dreams. I didn't know she was married specially from what I've heard of her Mitchell Bros (SF) performances. Suzi doesn't speak but her husband does and he mentions its all about sex and not intimacy. Last is Heidi Ho (they mention her real name) they mention Heidi's production company and how she left porn for a baby and how she's ready to go back. (shows Heidi pushing baby in swing) Her asian husband is somewhat concerned but feels thats who she is and wants to support her.

Luke Gets Mail

Peter Hayes writes: You should change your name to Luke Fraud - most of today's [Sunday's] column is written by me! I have heard nothing back from The Marie Curie people although I have phoned them twice. My research has shown that the name is indeed for sale by Moneyman (Videostars.com owner Chris) and the organisation has admitted that they did once own the name www.mariecurie.com MC presently also own www.mariecurie.net although they don't use it. The only address they have registered - with search engines - is www.mariecurie.uk.org This is their official UK web address. I have told the London office that the name is still for sale (as of Friday) and the fact that it is being used for speculation. I also provided them with the owners registered address and e-mail. Unless MC want to voice a complaint I am leaving it at that.

Laura writes: Emmett if Hispanic girls are getting pregnant at a higher rate than suburban white girls as you say they are, the reason is most likely that those in poorer communities are less likely able to afford or have access to adequate birth control or able to afford abortions than suburbanites. It is not because Hispanic teens are having sex any more than white teens are or that Hispanic girls are sluttier than white girls as you seem to imply.

Dunn: In response to the whole HIspanic girl getting pregnant thing that has been kicked around for a couple of days now...I have to say Emmett has a point. Laura is saying that its because of Hispanic girls being in poorer communities and all that, but the fact is, Hispanic girls are like 100 times more fertile than regular girls. There is no scientific fact to back this up, but I know for a fact it is true. I have seen this first hand. If you so much as dribble a tiny sperm into a bathtub with a Hispanic chick in it, she will find a way to get pregnant. More than once I have seen this Luke, so it must be fact. Plus look at most Hispanic families...they are nice and big cause mom has her uterus in full gear. Is there any doctor out there that can speak on the supereme fertility of the Hispanic woman?

Emmett writes: Laura you are so wrong. Latin women get more pregnant and have more babies not because they can't afford birth control or live in urban neighborhoods, it is b/c of their culture! Laura, Latin women/people have a different culture then Caucasians. Majority of Latin women don't believe in birth control or abortions. That is why they have more kids then Caucasian women. Just think about it. Latin people are not the ones who created all of those dozens types of birth controls and legalized abortion. That was Caucasians. Money has nothing to do with it. Condoms and other methods of birth control are easy to buy and get for free no matter the financial situation. Caucasian women are just having as much sex as Latin women during their young years. The difference is that most Caucasian women will do almost anything to prevent themselves form getting pregnant or having a baby. Latin women don't think like that do to their culture. Of course many of them don't want to get pregnant at that young pt in their lives, but they will raise their child and assume the responsibility if and when it should arise. Thanks for agreeing with Dunn! But as far as your theory that Latin women being more fertile then Caucasians....I have know idea.

LT writes: I applaud Greg Zeboray and Rob Spallone for starting KEEP. The programs you listed sound great and are overdue. One thing though, I hope KEEP isn't going to have a "Plastic Surgery Seminar" touting "breast implant innovators" like the other "help organization". You know, a friendly seminar where the girls can be properly informed as to which ENT doctor (Cheski or Kerner) should do their boobs. Please tell me you aren't going that route.

Francisco writes: >Brian: I really don't see what the problem is >with labia surgery. If a woman feels >uncomfortable >about a part of her body, why shouldn't she get >it "fixed". Because often they are MADE to feel uncomfortable about it.

Jim makes a good point about creating a new market. Which is what it's really all about. If it ain't broke don't fix it ...that should be the message.

>I also took exception to Jim who wrote, "Once >again Stern hops to the top of my least-liked >list, for propogating these stupid ideas." Mr. >Stern was not promoting the idea that woman >should have the surgery, he was merely >exploring a topic that he thought his >listeners would find interesting. Stern did not >give any arguments for or against the surgery.

I've heard Mr. Stern, and by not commenting one way or the other, he allows only one sided promotion. By providing a pulpit for this, he IS directly involved in propogating something that otherwise would receive no outlet. Sorry, I agree with Jim on this one. Typical Stern. Wonder how much kickback he gets from Dr. Calabro?. But, Brian, it is refreshing to have a intelligently written reply from a Stern defender. Usually they are full of four lettered words.